


Omega Interrupted

by minx4572



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Lexa (The 100), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Don't want to add too many and spoil things, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Femslash, M/M, Omega Clarke Griffin, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, but this is over by chapter 13, heavy angst at times, watch out for the Pauna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:00:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 47
Words: 200,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24456316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minx4572/pseuds/minx4572
Summary: Clarke and Lexa are set to make a political mating that will strengthen the alliance between Skaikru and the Coalition, except the mating isn't political at all. Not for Lexa and Clarke. They are already madly in love and were well before Skairkru fell to the Earth.Things don't go as planned and a series of mistakes has Clarke fleeing to the woods. What happens after will lead Clarke, Lexa, and the entire Coalition in directions they never imagined.Journey with them as an old myth becomes new when the long forgotten story of Wanheda reappears.
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clexa - Relationship, other relationships tagged as they develop
Comments: 1877
Kudos: 1553





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here is my new story, and I hope all of you enjoy it as much as I am enjoying writing it. It is very different from the story I just completed. The first few chapters take a toll on the characters (I won't lie. This first chapter is rough on them), but as with my other stories, there is a huge, bright light at the at the end of the tunnel that will make taking the journey worth it. 
> 
> Trigger warning - there is some violent and threatening behavior in this chapter with Clarke being treated harshly by Pike. It also appears that he's going to try and force Clarke into a non-consensual mating with Lexa. This DOES NOT happen. As in my tags, there will never be rape, non consent, or dubious consent in this story.

Clarke white-knuckled the arm rests of her chair as she watched the Ambassadors file out of the Throne room. The meeting had been over for twenty minutes, and she had not moved. She clenched her jaw and willed herself not to not to start growling. She watched as Lexa greeted each person and made small talk before saying her goodbyes. As the minutes passed by, Clarke got angrier and angrier. Lexa had promised her that today would finally be all about them. Clarke was in the midst of her first heat, and Lexa had promised that today would be the day would officially become a mated pair, but instead Clarke was sitting in her chair trying not to writhe in pain as Lexa ignored her plight completely. What made it worse was that she was certain that Lexa, and everyone else, could smell the pheromones rolling off her body. It was embarrassing to have to sit through an unnecessary meeting knowing that every person in the room was aware of her struggles.

Clarke watched as the Trishankru ambassador, Cassia, approached Lexa. They talked for a few minutes before the ambassador blatantly began to flirt with Lexa. Cassia gave Clarke a sly look then placed her hand on Lexa’s hip, beckoning Lexa to a corner to speak more privately. Clarke saw Lexa smile as she followed the Trishana omega and began to talk to her softly. Lexa is fucking flirting back, Clarke thought as she saw red. She was fuming, and she stood so abruptly from her chair it slid noisily back a few inches. 

She stalked over to where the pair was talking. They both looked up in surprise when Clarke grabbed and twisted Cassia’s wrist as she dragged it off Lexa’s hip. “Keep your filthy fucking hands off of her.” Clarke growled. 

“Clarke,” Lexa tried to warn, but Clarke was beyond listening. She was too far gone in her heat.

“Touch her again,” Clarke said, “and I will…” Clarke suddenly found herself on her knees, floored by the alpha pheromones flooding her senses. Unable to resist, she twisted her neck in submission. Clarke fought to control her own will, but Lexa’s alpha was just too powerful. She couldn’t move. 

“You will have to forgive the Skaikru ambassador, Cassia.” Lexa said calmly. “She is new to all of this, and we have been remiss on telling her all the rules of the Throne room. She was unaware that any threat of violence in this room is absolutely forbidden and dealt with immediately, by me, with punishment fitting the crime.”

Everyone that was still standing in the room looked down at the poor Skaikru omega struggling under the weight of Lexa’s dominance. They all knew what it felt like to be where Clarke was, and it wasn’t a pleasant situation to be caught in. They could see that Clarke was fighting a losing battle. Her eyes were rimmed red with unshed tears, and her nose was starting to bleed.

“Have pity on her, Lexa,” Cassia said, talking as if Clarke wasn’t even in the room. “She didn’t know that we are childhood friends. I can see why she saw me as a threat, and everyone can smell that the poor girl is in heat. The fact that she controlled herself for as long as she did should be commended not punished. Just get it over with and mate the poor thing. We all know you two are meant for each other. Stop putting it off for the sake of your people. You deserve a mate, and Clarke kom Skaikru certainly seems worthy.”

The blonde let out a raspy growl. She had been struggling so hard against Lexa’s dominance that when Lexa finally released her hold over her, Clarke crashed forward onto her hands. Never had she been forced to so fully submit. Even the Ark alphas couldn’t hold her so completely. Clarke staggered to her feet, seething with renewed anger. She had thought Lexa was different. Lexa had even promised that she would never make Clarke submit to her, but Lexa had just proven that she was no different than the alphas on the Ark. She began to stomp away but was forced to stop by two of the guards.

“Guards,” Lexa commanded. “Please escort Clarke to her suite and ensure that she does not leave before I arrive.”

Clarke let out a roar before spinning on her heels and pushing past the guards to head for her chambers. 

Lexa sighed knowing that her night was not going to go as planned.

As Clarke rounded the corner that lead to the elevator, she saw the Chancellor’s lackey step out of an alcove. “Gentlemen is it okay if I walk with the Ambassador to her suite. I have a few things I need to discuss with her in private.” The guards shrugged their shoulders and allowed Pike to accompany them. Heda hadn’t said that no one could go in the chambers with the omega, only that the omega was not to leave.

Clarke’s anger quickly turned to fear as Pike fell into step with her. He was a harsh man, and the Chancellor’s guard dog. He was vicious and took pleasure in being cruel. The walk back to her room was silent, but she knew that as soon as the door was shut, that Pike was going to lay into her hard. She slowed her steps, trying to delay the inevitable.

The two guards stepped to their posts on either side of Clarke’s door as Pike ushered Clarke into her suite. As soon as the door was closed, Clarke was being slammed into the wall. Her head cracked against the hard surface causing her to see stars. Pike’s hand was around her neck in an instant.

“What the fuck do you think you were doing in there, Clarke? How dare you risk Skaikru’s tenuous position in this coalition?” The hand gripped Clarke tighter. “The only thing guaranteeing our people’s safety is this mating between you and the Commander. You need to understand that she gets to flirt with and claim whoever else she wants. You’re an omega. You do not get to claim her. All you need to do is submit and raise her pups, pups that will be half Trikru and half Skaikru. That is the only thing that will cement our place in this Coalition and help us get the things our people deserve from these savages. You need to remember your place in this world.” 

By this time, Clarke had wrapped both of her hands around Pike’s wrists trying to get him to release his hold on her neck. Her head was pounding, and it was becoming hard to breath. When Pike finally let go, the poor blonde went crashing to her knees for the second time that afternoon. Charles Pike forced her to submit. Usually Clarke could put up a good fight, but after her forced submission to Lexa, Clarke didn’t have any strength left. 

Pike grabbed Clarke by her hair and forced her to stand. “Go over to the bed and strip, Clarke.”

“Please, no. Please Pike. Don’t do this.”

“Get over by the damn bed and strip, NOW!”

Clarke had no choice but to comply. She was too overwhelmed by all the alpha pheromones to try and refuse. Once she was naked and standing at the side of her bed, Pike, who at least had the decency to avert his eyes and not look at her naked form, approached. He threw a nearly see through night dress at her, which she quickly put on, and forced her to get on her hands and knees on the bed. Tears streamed from her eyes as the alpha tightly tied her wrists above her to the headboard of the bed.

“Please don’t do this. Lexa won’t like this. This is not how she is going to want to find me. Please.”

“You’re so far into your heat that even the Commander won’t be able to resist you. She will be so blind with lust she will already have bred you by the time she notices your position.”

Pike turned and walked toward the door with no regard for the omega. Clarke whimpered and cried. She pulled and pulled at the rope binding her wrists to the bed. All she did was rub her skin so raw that blood began to drip down her arms and onto the pillow under her elbows.

It must have been two hours before she heard Lexa approaching her room. Clarke was cold and exhausted from her attempts to escape her bonds. The pain of her heat hadn’t helped, and with so much time unable to move from her position, Clarke’s mind had wandered in too many dark directions. She was no longer angry at Lexa. She was too frightened of the punishment she knew she was going to get. She heard the doorknob turn, and she began to tremble. 

Lexa stood at the doorway for a few moments before entering the room. She regretted every single decision she had made this day and wished she could start it over. She hadn’t really needed to attend the meeting today. Titus could have handled everything, but she felt it was her duty to attend even the most mundane meetings. 

She knew Clarke had been severely disappointed that morning, but she had assured her that the meeting would only last until the early afternoon, at which time Clarke would have her undivided attention until her heat dissipated over the next week. Before the meeting started, she had arranged for them not to be disturbed for the next five days. Now she was hoping that she would get to spend the next five minutes with Clarke before the omega kicked her out.

When she entered the front room of Clarke’s suite, she could smell the cloying alpha scent of Charles Pike. She was not fond of man. He was power hungry and felt that he, along with all of Skaikru, was owed what they hadn’t earned. Lexa was gracious to him only because he was equivalent to the Chancellor’s second. Lexa looked around. She had thought she would find Clarke in the sitting area, but she was not there. She knew she was later than expected, but she had wanted to give Clarke a little while to cool off before she arrived. Lexa didn’t know how she was going to apologize for breaking her promise to Clarke. All she knew was that her heart had felt like it was in a vice since she made Clarke submit. It was something she had never wanted to do, but her hand had been forced. If she had shown Clarke favoritism in the Throne room, she would have been seen as weak, and anyone could then challenge her, but in the process, she had hurt Clarke, the only person she had ever loved.

She finally scented Clarke, and as expected could smell the distress pheromones Clarke was pumping out. She knew that Clarke was going to be upset with her. She took a deep breath before entering the bedroom. What she found was so shocking she was instantly enraged. She certainly never expected to find Clarke practically naked and tied to the bed. The terrified omega looked at her with wide, fear-filled eyes. She had blood dripping down her arms from the too tight bindings. 

Lexa stalked over to the bed unable to control her alpha. Clarke began to thrash in the bed and yank at her bindings. Fear swamped the omega, but Lexa was too enraged to immediately notice. 

“What the hell is this?” Lexa roared. She drew her dagger to cut at the ropes, and Clarke redoubled her efforts to try and get free. 

“Please, Lexa. Please…don’t do this. You don’t want to do this. Please don’t hurt me.” Clarke yanked on her bindings causing more blood to flow.

Lexa froze. Oh, dear gods, what have I done? She thought. She swiftly lifted the dagger and cut away the ropes holding Clarke prisoner on the bed. Clarke pulled her damaged wrists into herself and curled into a ball on the soiled and bloody bed, sobbing.

“Clarke, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry.” Lexa reached forward to touch the omega, but Clarke flinched away violently. Her calming pheromones seemed to have no effect on the trembling omega. The Commander, who could always find a solution to any squabble and calm her people’s fears found herself in a situation she didn’t know how to handle. At a loss for what to do, she simply sat next to a crying Clarke and continued to try and calm her with her scent. A tear slipped from her eye. Her beloved omega was afraid of her.

After a few minutes, Clarke’s sobs ceased, however, tears continued to stream down her face. She hadn’t uncurled herself, and she wouldn’t look at Lexa. Lexa found herself staring at Clarke’s back. Through the sheer material, she could see that it was littered with scars; evidence that life on the Ark was harsh on its omega population. 

Clarke had explained the hierarchy on the Ark. Alphas ruled everything, using their power to rule over the betas and the omegas. There was no equality. Omegas were treated harshly and often punished brutally for even minor offenses. Lexa had explained that it was different on the ground and that no one was better than another. Everyone was equal. Lexa had even promised Clarke that she would never force her to submit, a promise she wished she had never made. She never imagined a scenario where Clarke would attack someone in Heda’s Throne room. It never even crossed her mind to tell her the rules that were in place to keep everyone safe during meetings held there. There were bound to be disagreements and, in order to keep everyone safe, even the smallest threats had to stopped by the Commander. Most times, forcing the aggressor to submit was enough. Rarely did Lexa have to punish anyone. No one wanted to be forced to their knees by the powerful alpha.

It was her fault that Clarke acted the way she did in the first place. She had let her sense of duty override her commitment to the omega, and then she had made things worse by having the playful conversation with her old friend. She should have known that it would upset Clarke to see her speaking with another omega. Of course, Clarke would have seen it as a threat. Lexa prided herself on her cunning, but today she had been nothing but a fool.

Now, looking at the devastated omega, Lexa could see everything that she had done wrong. Clarke had never experienced a heat before. Lexa should not have forced her to wait to consummate their relationship. She should have known that having Clarke sit through meeting would tip her over the edge. Lexa had made the mistake, but it was Clarke who was paying the price.

“Clarke, I am sorry. Please look at me.” Lexa begged. “I didn’t come here to punish you or force you to mate with me. I came here to apologize.”

Clarke didn’t move, and her distress pheromones increased. “Okay,” Lexa said. “I am just going to run and get some water and bandages for your wrists. Then, if you want, I will leave you alone.”

Lexa walked into Clarke’s bathroom and spent a few minutes locating everything she needed to take care of Clarke’s wrists. She took longer than she should have, looking in the mirror and berating herself for the ignorant, clueless alpha that she was. When she returned, Clarke was sitting on the edge of her bed fully dressed. She was pulling on her boots. 

“Clarke, what are you doing?” When Clarke didn’t answer, the alpha began to panic. “Clarke. Please talk to me.”

Clarke stood and grabbed her bag. She began to place extra clothing and little odds and ends into it. She hadn’t even looked at Lexa yet. Clarke picked up a wooden figure of a wolf that Lexa carved for her and seemed to contemplate if she wanted it to go in the bag. After a few seconds, the piece of wood went in with everything else. 

Lexa didn’t speak again until Clarke started to walk to the door. “Clarke, please. Where are you going? Please don’t leave like this. Let me explain. Let me try to make this right.”

Clarke continued to ignore Lexa and walked through the door. “What about your heat? It’s not safe for you to leave.”

Clarke finally spun around to face Lexa. Lexa was shocked at the hurt and hatred in her eyes.  
“Really, Lexa, is that all you care about?” The omega had her hands tightly fisted at her sides. “It would seem that being forced to submit not once, but twice, in a matter of minutes, getting slammed into a wall then tied to a bed by one of my people, then thinking I was about to die when you pulled your dagger out has caused my heat to evaporate, but you know what? I am glad.” Clarke was so angry that she didn’t care that she was rambling. “I thought sharing my heat with you was going to be special, but all my heat has turned into was a nightmare. I have never wished more that I wasn’t an omega. I am sick of being forced to submit and made to follow unfair commands. I am sick of being punished for things I didn’t do or are out of my control, and I am sick of being a pawn in this ridiculous game of politics that you and my people are playing. I am done being forced to do anything, and I refused to stay here and be forced to submit and mate with someone who clearly doesn’t respect me for who I am, someone who flirts with other people while I am sitting in the room trying to keep myself from fucking the nearest alpha because my alpha is ignoring me.”

Clarke was on a roll and wasn’t about to stop. She took a few steps toward Lexa and poked her finger in Lexa’s chest. “I am sure you must think I am weak. The poor weak omega who can’t control her emotions and can’t even fight when forced to submit. Well, you know what, you being able to make me submit doesn’t not make you strong, and it doesn’t make me weak. Just because I am omega does not mean I am weak. All you fucking alphas think you are so strong, but the only reason you can make people submit is because of biology. It isn’t strength, it is just biology. I can no more resist submitting to an alpha than you can resist the desire to breath. It can’t be done, but you know what? I am done submitting to anyone. I would rather take my chances and die in the forest than be subjected to another day of being treated like something less. I expect this kind of treatment from the people on the Ark, but I never expected it from you.” Clarke was now growling, and Lexa took a step back. 

“You promised me you were different. You promised me that the people on the ground were different. They may be different, but you aren’t. You are just as bad as the alphas on the Ark, in fact, you are worse. You lied to me. You promised me a life where I would never have to submit again. You made me believe that I could be happy. You gave me hope, and then you took it away. I was a dupe, but you, you are a monster.” 

Clarke then spun on her heels and began to storm away. 

“Clarke, please, niron.”

Clarke’s steps faltered when she heard a thud behind her. She briefly turned to see Lexa on her knees, looking so distraught and ashamed of herself that the omega almost stopped her forward motion. Lexa’s next move did stop Clarke. The alpha turned her neck and exposed it to Clarke in complete submission. She knew from others that the alpha had never submitted to anyone. Tears were cascading down the alpha’s face. The Commander was exposed and vulnerable, and the omega was certain that Lexa had probably never shown this side of herself to anyone before.

“Clarke, please don’t leave. You won’t be safe out there, not right now. I understand if you don’t ever want to see me again, and I will respect that, but please just don’t leave.”

Clarke had never heard an alpha beg before. Alphas didn’t beg, they took. Seeing Lexa, bowing to her with her neck exposed, almost broke her resolve. She could smell Lexa’s distress from where she stood. The alpha was truly sorry for what had happened, but Clarke had meant it when she said she was done being a pawn. She loved the Commander, but she no longer wanted to be a part of the Coalition, at least not until Skaikru had ironed out their position in it. She was not going to be forced into a political marriage just so that her people could slip into the Coalition without doing their part. Her people needed to prove their worth, and if they failed, then they didn’t deserve to be part of Lexa’s people. 

She was done putting everyone else before herself. The alphas of Skaikru put themselves first all the time, so why couldn’t she?

She took a few steps toward the kneeling alpha and then squatted down in front of her. Hopeful green eyes looked at her. “I’m sorry for what I said. You are not a monster, but you did break an important promise to me. I’m used to being forced to submit. It’s been happening all my life, but you told me that you would never do that to me and then you did.”

“Clarke, the rules…”

“I understand about the rules, Lex, and how it would make you look if you didn’t do it, but that’s not the point. You made a promise to me that you didn’t keep, and it’s a promise that you shouldn’t have made if rules like the ones in the Throne room exist, especially when I didn’t know about them. You set us both up for failure today.” Lexa’s head dropped and her shoulders sagged.

Clarke quickly stood up. She could feel the tendrils of her heat coming back, and she wanted to be gone before she lost herself and flung herself into Lexa’s arms. “I didn’t mean it…when I called you a monster.”

“Clarke.” Lexa didn’t move out of her submissive position.

“I have to go now, and one day I hope I can come back. I think…I think I need to be on my own for a while.”

A sob broke from Lexa’s chest, but she reined in her emotions and stood, at least she tried. She couldn’t stop her tears. The alpha swiped at her face with her hands and kept her head bowed.

Lexa squeezed her eyes shut and took a shaky breath. “Will you…will you at least allow me to scent mark you before you go? It will help keep any unwanted attention away from you until your heat passes.”

Tears leaked from Clarke’s own eyes. “Sure, Lex.” She held out her arms and allowed the alpha to walk into her embrace. She was flooded with the scent she loved so much.

“I need to go now,” Clarke whispered. Lexa held her tightly for a few more seconds then let her go. The alpha held her dagger out to Clarke. It was the Commander’s most prized possession.

“Please take this.”

“Lex, I can’t. I know what it means to you.”

“You mean so much more.” Lexa placed the weapon into Clarke’s hand. “If I can’t stop you then at least allow me to give you something to protect yourself with.”

The omega took the dagger and sheathed it at her side. 

“Ai hod yu in.” Lexa whispered as she gave Clarke a chaste kiss on the cheek. The omega could see the alpha struggle as she took a few steps back from her.

“I love you too, Lex. May we meet again.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for making you all wait so long for this chapter. I have been trying to get time to post it for days, and yesterday was going to be the day, but then Cristobal got in the way, and we had to make preparations for that. We are just now starting to get the rain and wind, and as long as we don't lose power, it's going to be a rainy and exciting day. I love a good rainy day, but not when it involves flooding and crazy wind. 
> 
> Also, thank you for the absolutely amazing response to the first chapter. Your comments and kudos made my entire week.

Chapter 2

Lexa ran to her room, glad that she had dismissed all her guards for the evening. It would not have served her well for them to have witnessed what had just transpired. As soon as she had slammed the doors behind her, she broke down. She was back on her knees, fisting her hands into her blood red sash as she ripped it off her shoulder, and cursing the day she had ever become Commander.

How many times had Titus told Lexa that to be Commander was to be alone? How many times had he told her that love was weakness? The only reason he was for her mating with Clarke was to bring Skaikru into the Coalition. He made his distaste for their people quite evident, but he also knew that Heda needed to secure their place in the Coalition before the Maunon or Azgeda could sink their talons into them and get them to side with their cause. 

Lexa fell forward and rested her head on the cool stone floor. Nothing had been easy for her since she had become Commander, and the only true light in her life had been Clarke. When the omega had fallen from the sky with the other delinquents, Lexa had moved in Anya and Tristan to wipe them out, but things didn’t go as planned. The blonde omega, one of only two in the entire group, had burned 300 of her warriors all while hiding in their flimsy metal contraption. 

It was after that, that Anya, who had only survived because she infiltrated the dropship, reluctantly brought the Skai omega with her to TonDC after the omega demanded to see the Commander. The delinquents had argued for Anya’s death, but it was Clarke who had the foresight to know that the group would be better off if they made an alliance with the grounders. 

Anya hadn’t made it easy for the girl. When they had gotten close to TonDC, she tackled the omega, bound her arms behind her back and put a canvas sack over her head. Clarke had argued strenuously that binding her wasn’t necessary, but Anya insisted that the only way she would ever see Heda was as a prisoner, and after the deaths of 300 of her men, the powerful alpha wasn’t inclined to help the feisty omega.

When they arrived in TonDC, Anya had presented Clarke as a gift to Heda, and upon hearing this, Clarke had put up a mighty fight despite her bindings and head covering. She had even been able to escape Anya’s grasp. Anya had tackled the poor omega once again and physically forced her to her knees before the Commander. All the while Heda gave her General an amused look. She had enjoyed watching Anya struggle over her captor. Heda also commended her for not forcing the omega to submit, something that was heavily frowned upon by Heda and only used as a last resort. 

Heda had fought hard to change the antiquated system where alphas ruled and omegas submitted, and she had succeeded. With the formation of the Coalition, forced submission had been outlawed except if threats were made in the Throne room in Polis, and then it was only Heda who was allowed to force someone to their knees. It was all in the name of peace. Outside the Throne room everyone was equal, but in the Throne room, Heda’s rule was absolute. Only if the situation called for it, and it had to be dire, would a person be forced to kneel through dominance.

When Anya had ripped the bag off Clarke’s head, the blonde omega had instantly called to Lexa. The alpha Commander had felt something unwind inside her chest as she looked into defiant blue eyes. She commanded everyone to leave the room. Anya hesitated but did as she was told. She left the omega kneeling on the ground. Indra, the Commander’s beta guard, leaned in to whisper a threat to the omega as she passed, and whatever it was had the defiance leaving the omega only for it to be replaced by fear.

Lexa remembered that meeting fondly. The omega had stayed on her knees, obviously commanded to do so by Indra, and she had looked at Lexa through a veil of blonde hair. The blonde hair was the first thing that intrigued Lexa about the girl. Blondes were rare in her people. There, of course, were a few, but none had hair as bright or as golden as the omega before her. 

“Clarke kom Skaikru. I hear you have a proposition for me.” She sat in her throne twirling her favorite dagger in her hands. The omega couldn’t take her eyes off the knife, intimidated by the display. Lexa had decided to put her out of her misery and slammed the point of the weapon into the wood on the armrest on her right making the omega jump. She stood and approached the blonde girl. 

She could see the subtle tremble of the omega’s body, but she chose to ignore it. It was obvious that the person before her was trying to fight her instincts to submit to the powerful alpha before her. This omega would make a fine warrior one day.

“Tell me what use your people could possibly be to mine.” She reached for the omega, startling her when her hand landed on the girl’s threadbare jacket. She bade Clarke to stand and had her follow her to her map table. She cleared the papers, pulled out a chair, and ushered the surprised girl into a seat.

“I am waiting, Clarke, for you to tell me what you can offer me.”

Clarke’s voice shook when she responded, and the alpha knew the omega was cursing herself for it. She casually walked to a smaller table that held a pitcher. She filled two cups with an amber colored liquid and handed one to the nervous girl, hoping the spirits it contained would help ease the tension she was feeling. 

The omega took a careful sip, blinking in surprise when the strong alcohol hit her pallet. Lexa arched an eyebrow as she lifted her own cup to her mouth. The omega watched the movement intently. 

“I can…I mean we can offer you medicine.” 

The Commander scoffed. “We have fisas who heal us just fine.”

“We, uh, we have technology. We have radios, and computers, X-ray machines that can show if and where a bone is broken.”

Lexa listened to Clarke’s offerings and asked many questions. She had growled and postured when she learned that the things the omega had offered weren’t with them now but would be when the rest of their people arrived. 

That had led to another long discussion with Clarke answering the Commander’s questions as best she could about her people and the Ark. Lexa had been patient with the omega and grew quite fond of her as she listened to her talk about living in the sky.

Life hadn’t been easy for Clarke. The hierarchy was much as it used to be on the ground before Lexa became Heda. It made her watch the omega more carefully as she listened. When faced with prolonged stress and forced submission, many omegas became meek and docile, but not Clarke. While she exhibited a few of the usual symptoms of OSD (omega stress disorder), she displayed none of the other usual characteristics of an omega. She was spirited and cunning, she was vocal, and an obvious leader to her people. She was truly remarkable, and Lexa found herself hanging onto every word that Clarke said. 

Lexa had found herself falling for the omega after only a few short hours. It was Indra, who brought in Heda’s supper and asked to speak with her privately, who brought her back down to earth with a stern reminder that the omega she was so enchanted with had burned 300 of her warriors to ashes just the day before. 

She had Indra bring food for Clarke, but as they ate, the mask of Heda returned. She was gruff and short with the girl, and it in turn made the omega more tight-lipped and less inclined to answer her questions. When they finished the food, Clarke stood abruptly, obviously angered by the sudden turn the alpha had made.

“I have answered all of your questions. Have you made a decision about if you will accept what I am offering?”

“I have, but I have one more important question. What is it that you want from me?”

Clarke realized her mistake. She had laid out everything her people had to offer at Lexa’s feet but had never made her demands. It was a foolish rookie mistake.

“Fuck,” the omega muttered under her breath.

Lexa grinned when she heard the curse. “Jok.”

“Wh-what?”

“Jok. It means fuck in my language.”

Clarke was dumbfounded. She had thought she heard some of the grounders speaking a strange language, but she hadn’t taken the time to really pay attention. Not that she could have with a bag over her head.

“Jok,” she said, trying it out on her tongue. She smiled at Lexa then. “I like your swear words.”

After that, the tension dissolved again. Lexa couldn’t maintain her Heda persona. It made her wonder if the Skai omega had some special power, but she realized that it was just that Clarke was an extremely likable person. She was kind and gentle, and she obviously cared for her people despite the fact that they treated her poorly. The blonde wanted what was best for everyone, even those who may not deserve it.

“So,” Lexa had to prod again. “What is it that you want from us?”

“Well, peace for starters. It would be nice to not be hunted down like animals, and maybe protection.” She explained that the delinquents had been sent to Earth with very few provisions and no skills to live. She told Lexa about the classes they had taken up on the Ark, but without being able to apply those skills functionally, they didn’t even know how to start a proper fire or how to cook the little bit of game that they were able to catch.

Lexa had made her decision. “We will help you, but by that I mean the children that were sent here in your metal box. You will be the liaison for them, but you will stay here as a sign of trust. We will bring food and blankets, and I will have warriors teach your people the skills they need to survive down here, but they are going to have to show a willingness to learn. You will also share everything you know about medicine and technology to prepare us for the time when the people who actually possess those things make it to the ground.” The Commander warned Clarke that, in the future, she shouldn’t make proposals with goods she didn’t have.

“When your people arrive from above, a new deal will have to be struck. You may be the leader of those already on the ground, but you are not the leader of everyone.”

“I can live with that.” Clarke gave Lexa a smile that sealed her fate. When she looked at Clarke and saw her joy at having settled their deal, the alpha knew that she wanted Clarke as more than just an ally.

That conversation had happened almost a year ago. Since that time, Clarke and Lexa had grown closer together, and only a select few people knew that the two were together. The blonde’s people had landed, and with them they brough disagreements and strife. They were a harsh and unreasonable people who felt they deserved a place in the Coalition without having earned it. 

One of the first things they had done was demand that all their people, including Clarke, be returned to them. In the name of keeping the peace, Clarke had agreed. She had returned to her people at Camp Jaha; that’s what they were calling the wreckage of the Ark. It had been two months before Lexa saw the omega again, and this time Clarke was in the full throws of OSD (omega stress disorder). She had been timid and pale, and it was obvious that she had lost weight. When her blue eyes had met Lexa’s, the sparkle the alpha had once seen in them was gone. The omega was dirt-stained, and she wasn’t wearing enough clothing to keep the cold at bay. She looked like she probably had a fever.

It had taken a herculean effort to keep herself from making everyone in the Ark submit in that moment. It had been even harder to ignore Clarke.

She marched into the Ark as if she owned it and demanded a meeting. She spent hours hammering out an agreement that was suitable to both parties, and at the end, she casually stated that she would not seal the deal unless they gave her an omega to do with as she saw fit.

The Skaikru alphas had erupted in anger and argued that every omega they had needed to stay with them. Lexa told them if that were the case then there would be no deal. A blockade would be set up, and anyone who attempted to break the line would be killed. 

Chancellor Kane stepped into Lexa’s personal space. “If we do this, if you take one of our omegas, then we have an alliance?”

“We do Chancellor, but if we do this, it means you must adhere to the rules of the Coalition. You have been given a copy of them. I trust there was nothing objectionable.”

She had watched as he read the documents earlier. The only part he had scoffed at was the part declaring omegas and betas equal to alphas. Pike, who had been reading over his shoulder, sneered at this, but wisely kept his mouth shut. It was Abby who convinced the Chancellor that they weren’t going to get a better deal.

“We aren’t going to do better than this, Marcus. Take the deal.” Little had she realized that it would be Clarke who was chosen by Heda.

Once again, arguments had broken out. They tried to tell the Commander that she could take anyone but Clarke, stressing that they needed her. She was one of their best doctor’s apprentices.

“If she was so needed, then you wouldn’t have sent her down here to die in you metal box. You either give her to me and we have an alliance, or I walk away now and have my men set up a blockade. The choice is yours.”

Abby had wept as her daughter was being led away, and Clarke was too ill to realize what was happening. Lexa helped the omega onto her horse, and they rode until they reached TonDC. She then spent the entire evening meticulously caring for the omega. She had fed her, helped her bathe, and clothed her appropriately all while enveloping her in soothing pheromones. With proper care and the stress of living at Camp Jaha removed the omega quickly recovered.

“Thank you for getting me out of there, Lexa.” Clarke had said before peppering the alpha with kisses.

She didn’t understand how things had gone so wrong since that time. That wasn’t true. She knew exactly what had gone wrong. She had gone wrong, and now Clarke was gone. She pulled herself up from the floor where she had been kneeling. She ran to her balcony and could just see Clarke as she was leaving the gates of Polis. She watched until the figure disappeared into the impenetrable darkness of the forest.

Clarke stumbled into the trees. Her heart was heavy, and her bag was heavier, and she knew she was woefully unprepared for the trek she was setting out to take. It didn’t matter, she’d made up her mind, and she was going to follow through. She thought that perhaps some time on her own would help her clear her head and help her prepare for what she wanted in life.

The thing was, she knew what she wanted in life. She wanted Lexa, and that was the problem. She had already forgiven the alpha for what she had done in the Throne room, but she was still having a hard time dealing with had happened after, and even before.

They had been anticipating Clarke’s heat for a long time. They were waiting to consummate their love until the omega’s first cycle, but there had been one long-lasting effect of her OSD. It had put off her heat. On the Ark, omegas were given suppressants to keep their natural cycle at bay, but once on the ground, there were no more suppressants. It should only have taken a month or two for Clarke to go into her first heat, but that hadn’t happened because she had gotten sick. With Lexa’s care, the omega had rapidly gotten better, but when the alpha had made Nyko, the fisa (doctor), check over Clarke to ensure that she was truly healthy again, he had warned that it might take a few months for everything to realign itself.

Clarke had worried then that Lexa would no longer want her, but she had been so wrong. The alpha had gone out of her way to make sure that the blonde knew how enamored she was. Lexa had bought her gifts, always made sure she ate first, and had more clothes made for her than she could ever wear. The Commander had also taken to personally training Clarke. 

Every morning they would head out for weapons training. Lexa was a patient and knowledgeable teacher, and it wasn’t long before Clarke was able to defend herself with a dagger. She’d also been taught how to use it to hunt. Lexa had then moved her on to training with a sword, but Clarke was hopeless with the weapon, so they gave it up.

What she was truly gifted with was the bow. The omega had an uncanny accuracy that had even Anya and Indra surprised. 

At first, she was only good with short-range targets, but Lexa corrected this by giving her a daily regimen that including strength training and running. Clarke hated the running, but she loved that Lexa ran with her even though she was slow and clumsy, often tripping over roots sticking out of the forest floor. Over time, she could run harder and faster, and even challenged Heda and Anya to races. She always lost, but it was fun, and it had helped build a comradery with the General. Her upper body strength increased, and it wasn’t long before she was hitting long-range targets.

She also developed a fondness for Indra during that time. Her first meeting with the beta had been terrifying, but as the two got to know one another, they had developed a certain bond. It was similar to the one she had with Anya except for one glaring difference. Anya, while stoic, could be found laughing and smiling at times. Indra, on the other hand, almost never smiled, except with Clarke.

She had taken the omega under her wings and had shown her how to live as a true member of Trikru. She was patient with Clarke and guided her with a gentle hand. To this day, Lexa and Anya were still surprised and pleased by this. Everyone was pleased by this, and while shocked the first time she saw Clarke after she had been taken away from Camp Jaha, Abby couldn’t have been prouder of her daughter.

The alpha saw that her daughter was thriving under the care of Trikru and Lexa. When she had been introduced to the dark-skinned, scarred and tattooed beta, Abby had been intimidated, but then she saw how the frightening woman had treated her daughter, she couldn’t help but admire her. 

Abby should have been jealous, because as she watched Indra with Clarke, she realized that the beta treated the omega like a daughter, but she couldn’t begrudge the woman or Clarke. Indra was able to treat Clarke the way she had always wanted to but couldn’t because of how things were on the Ark. She was happy that Clarke was able to live so freely. For the first time her daughter was thriving.

The one person who was not pleased was Octavia. The young alpha had tried to glom onto Indra the first time she met the war chief, but Indra at first wanted nothing to do with the rambunctious and undisciplined girl. It was only the alpha’s relentlessness that had Indra caving. The beta took great pleasure in knocking the girl on her ass day in and day out.

It pissed off Octavia that the woman was so gentle and careful with Clarke. Sure, the omega was also knocked on her ass during training, but Indra always helped her back to her feet and pointed out exactly what the omega had done wrong while she would force the alpha goufa (child) to sus out her failings. Indra was gruff with them but had a hard edge to her voice when speaking to Octavia that she didn’t have with Clarke, and the alpha resented this.

The first time Octavia had sparred with Clarke, she had taken her anger out on the omega only to then have Indra step in to drag the alpha off somewhere private to berate her for her childish behavior. It didn’t help. Octavia had a bone to pick with Clarke and hounded her ceaselessly. She teased the omega about not having yet had her heat and told her that Heda would abandon her soon enough. She had even tried to force the blonde to submit once. That had earned the branwoda (foolish) alpha ten lashes.

Clarke learned from the beginning that Octavia would never be her friend, and it brought her great distress because even though the alpha hadn’t ever interacted with those from the Ark, having been forced to grow up under the floor, she was just like them. She felt entitled. She felt that because of her hardships on the Ark that she shouldn’t have to work for things on the ground. She was brash and had a short fuse, and that fuse usually led to Clarke – her favorite target.

If not for Bellamy, and his calm beta demeanor, Octavia probably would have been banished or at least made to stay within the confines of Camp Jaha. He spoke with Heda on Octavia’s behalf, and told her the story of Octavia’s upbringing. She decided to have compassion for the alpha but warned him that her patience only went so far.

To Octavia’s horror, Bellamy was a close friend of Clarke’s. They had made an instant connection when the dropship landed, and their friendship was cemented together when they both took up the helm of leadership over the delinquents. He was the one who Clarke went to when she needed someone to talk to, and he was the one to console her about the fact that she hadn’t yet had a heat.

Clarke stumbled on a root as she walked in the forest, and she wished that she could talk to Bellamy now, but he was in Camp Jaha. The tendrils of her heat were making her clumsy, and she could have used his shoulder figuratively and literally to cry on. She had packed a radio in her bag when she had left Lexa behind in Polis, but she was loath to use it. She had a lot to think about, and a lot to fix, before she would feel comfortable talking to anyone again. She hoped that Lexa would also take the time to do some introspection. They both needed to figure out how they were going to make their relationship work because Clarke knew that Lexa had certain obligations that she couldn’t ignore as Commander, but there also needed to be time taken away for themselves, and if Lexa couldn’t do that, even during Clarke’s heat, then maybe they just weren’t meant for one another.

“No,” Clarke mumbled as she stumbled again, this time falling. The pain in her heart grew heavy, and she had a sudden headache, but she refused to accept that she was not meant to be together with Lexa. She knew she was meant to be with Lexa, and Lexa with her, with 100% certainty. She hoped her time away would allow them to come up for a way to make their relationship work. 

She climbed back to her feet and righted her bag on her shoulders, but something wasn’t right. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She turned to look behind her but felt a splitting pain at the back of her head.

She screamed as she whirled, but then fell when it felt like her left knee was being torn apart. She was being attacked by something, but she couldn’t see it. 

In her frenzy to get away, she didn’t see the next attack. Suddenly her shoulder felt all but dislocated. She spun again, but in her haste, didn’t pay attention to her surroundings and her face crashed into a large low-hanging tree branch. She wobbled on her beaten legs, trying to see her attackers with blurry eyes, but her vision failed her and went black. The last thing she felt was herself crashing to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts on this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. I will also be posting chapter 4 right after this one because this one ends in a rough spot, and I just cannot leave you all hanging for too long, especially since the next chapter is written.

Chapter 3

Lexa was still standing on her balcony when she heard the faint screams. She knew without a doubt that they were Clarke’s and she was already moving the instant she heard them. She shouted for her guards as she raced through her hall and down the stairwell. She didn’t have time to wait for the lumbering elevator. 

She was yelling orders the entire way down, and having heard, Anya met her at the next landing. “Heda, what’s wrong?” 

Between gasps, Lexa told her that Clarke had left, but was now in danger. She told her about the screams she heard from the forest. 

Anya was dying to know what made the omega leave, but she had an inkling and was wise to keep her mouth shut. She had been present in the meeting earlier in the day and had watched as Lexa was regretfully forced to make her love submit. She knew it was an unbreakable law, but Lexa should have found a way to soften the blow, or at least given the girl some warning about what was about to happen. Anya had been on the receiving end of Lexa’s dominance several times. It wasn’t a fun or comfortable experience, even when she had been forewarned it was about to happen. 

By the time they made it out of the tower, their horses were waiting along with Lexa’s royal guard. Trikru’s two best trackers, Corsac and Dasha, were already waiting on their large stallions. Corsac was a giant of a man, but unusually light on his feet. He could enter the forest and never make a sound. He wore typical Trikru clothing, had a long, braided beard, and facial tattoos. Dasha, on the other hand, was an entirely different character. She was short but lithe. Her skin was craggy and her hair always without braids. She also didn’t conform to the Trikru way of dressing, in fact, she was very fond of Skaikru clothing and had even traded her best leather saddlebags for an ancient jersey grey Adidas track suit. It was a very strange sight, Anya thought, to see the small woman riding a dappled horse while wearing the suit. The alpha had to admit that it looked perfectly functional, but it didn’t provide any protection, and it looked absolutely stupid with the tracker’s large black boots. 

Every time Anya saw the tracker in one of her Skaikru getups, she couldn’t help but smirk. The woman may be the best tracker, but her sense of fashion was lacking. Raven, who Anya completely adored, kept digging through the growing pile of discarded Skaikru clothing for more items to trade to the woman. The people from the Ark were slowly starting to assimilate and found the ancient and recycled clothing lacking. This left the mechanic with a plethora of items to trade to Dasha. Raven would never admit that she found the most outlandish clothing for the woman. She had even procured a bright pink Hawaiian shirt for the woman. 

Dasha had once worn it to a meeting with the Ambassadors. They had all been so distracted by the garish shirt that Lexa had to forbid the woman from wearing anything but ‘normal Trikru’ clothing to any further meetings that she had to attend. 

They were about two miles into the forest when the trackers had them halt the horses. They were in a small clearing, but the ground was in shambles. It didn’t take a tracker to spot the fact that something terrible had happened here.

Anya looked over her shoulder back toward Polis. They were so deep into the forest that she was surprised that Lexa had been able to hear Clarke’s screams. The General and Commander, along with the guards, stayed on their horses while the trackers went to work. 

It always interested Anya to watch them do their thing. It only took seconds for them to figure out where the fight began, but as they worked, she could smell the distress pheromones that started to seep from them. That wasn’t good news for Clarke, and chancing a glance at Lexa, she knew the Commander was aware of this too.

They both carefully paced in different directions. Corsac found the spot where Clarke had hit the branch. There was a good bit of blood on it, but not a fatal loss. Dasha’s find was far more disturbing. She crouched back in the center of the clearing and almost whimpered. She looked at Lexa but didn’t tell her what she found. Anya could practically feel her nerves and knew that whatever it was she was holding in her hands was not good.

Lexa started to snarl at the woman. The alpha couldn’t hide her own distress and took it out on Dasha by growling at her. The tracker remained in her crouch but bowed her head. She lifted a trembling hand out to her Commander.

Anya’s squeezed her eyes shut and turned away when she saw what Dasha was holding. Her heart plummeted and she ached to draw her former seken (second) into a comforting embrace, for in the hands of the tracker were four of Clarke’s teeth.

An unearthly howl shattered the silence of the forest causing slumbering birds to take flight in the night-time sky. Lexa was off her horse like a shot and was clutching the teeth to her chest. She couldn’t hide the tears that slid down her face.

“Who did this to her?” Lexa yelled.

Corsac, who had moved to stand next to Lexa, answered. “Not who. What.” The huge man shuffled on his feet. He looked to Dasha before he continued. When she nodded, he added, “The only tracks we found are Clarke’s and those of an enormous wolf.” He held out his hand. In it where several large chunks of bloodied white fur.

Lexa didn’t howl this time, she moaned. “By the looks of the scene and the amount of fur,” Dasha said tentatively, “Clarke gave the animal one hell of a fight.”

Lexa was weeping freely now. “This is my fault,” she whispered.

Anya moved to her side and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Have faith, Heda, she could still be alive.”

The two trackers gave her a warning glare telling the General that it wasn’t likely.

The alpha angrily swiped at her cheeks, wiping away all evidence of her tears and the girl that was Lexa. Heda was the only one there now.

She pointed to Corsac. “Track the beast. I want it found and trapped, but do not kill it. The beast is mine.”

Looking to Dasha, Lexa commanded her to try and find Clarke. The Commander refused to believe that her omega had been killed. It was Anya who pointed out that the beast could have easily dragged Clarke away.

Lexa got in Anya’s face and screamed at her. “Then go and get her.”

Anya, the trackers, and several of the guard left to follow Heda’s orders, leaving the distraught alpha with only a handful of her guards in the clearing. She sent them to look for more clues in the trees, knowing damn well that there wouldn’t be any. Her omega was gone, and it was her fault. There would be no convincing her otherwise.

Lexa stayed in the clearing for hours. She was kneeling in the dirt looking for any traces of Clarke. Dawn was creeping in, but she refused to go back to the tower before her people returned. She was holding out hope that one of them would find Clarke, even though with every passing hour her hope was shrinking.

It was when the sun was just barely on the horizon that Anya returned, looking grim and haggard. One look in the alpha’s copper-colored eyes told Lexa everything she needed to know. 

They hadn’t found Clarke. 

Anya approached her as if she were walking toward a caged, feral animal. She wasn’t sure if Lexa would strike out at her or hug her. She knelt on one knee and turned her neck in submission before giving her report.

“We tracked the animal to the river, and almost lost the trail to the water, but were able to find it again. Unfortunately, it led directly into the feeding grounds of the Pauna (giant gorilla). The pounder was nearby and very agitated. We were lucky to escape it unharmed.” The General sighed wearily. “The guards have split to continue looking. Half went with Dasha, and the others went with Corsac.”

Anya dug into her pocket. She pulled out Clarke’s watch. “This is the only thing we could find. It was near the feeding grounds.”

Lexa took the watch and clutched it in both hands. She had to hold in her sob. “There’s every indication that the wolf dragged Clarke with it,” Anya stated flatly. The dark blonde alpha was fighting her own tears. 

Months ago, when they had brought Clarke to Polis, Anya had become Clarke’s fos (first), and the charismatic omega had wormed her way further into the alpha’s heart than she already had. The two had become friends, but Anya felt that Clarke was quickly becoming more than that. Clarke was rapidly becoming a close confidant. She was becoming family, and the thought that she would probably never see the spirited omega again was tearing the alpha apart, and if it were tearing at her, she couldn’t imagine what it was doing to Lexa.

“Heda, there is nothing more that we can do here. We need to return to Polis. I can organize more search parties.” 

Watery green eyes stared up at her. Lexa didn’t respond. The gravity of what had happened was starting to sink in, and Anya knew she needed to get the alpha leader back to Polis before she decided to do something rash like go and try to find Clarke on her own. In Anya’s mind, she had already resigned herself to the fact that they were never going to find Clarke because there was no more Clarke to find.

Anya went to help Lexa to her feet, but the Commander angrily batted away her hand and got up by herself.

Anya was worried when Lexa walked to her horse and mounted up without a word. The Commander started to ride back to Polis without bothering to wait for the others to follow her.

By the time they arrived, Anya had caught up with the younger alpha. “Heda, you will need to contact Skaikru and let them know what happened.”

Lexa, who had just been about to dismount, sat back in her saddle. She covered her face with her hands. “How?” Her voice cracked, “how do I tell them that I was a fool and because of it, Clarke left? How do I tell them that a giant joken (fucking) pakstoka (wolf) attacked and likely killed her?” 

The Commander was beginning to hyperventilate, and Anya feared she might fall off the horse. She needed to get Lexa into the tower before Heda did something she would regret. As it was, some of her gona were beginning to take notice. The General could not have Lexa looking weak before her men.

Anya barked out orders and cleared the way to the tower. She then helped Lexa off her horse and guided her inside. Titus was already waiting. He glanced at Anya, clenching his jaw. By now the beta knew what had happened, and his concern for Lexa was real. Anya also sensed that he was concerned for the omega he professed to dislike so much, although she knew that he secretly admired the fiery blonde. 

“Heda,” he began, “a bath and food have been prepared. I’ve taken the liberty of procuring the radio for you. It’s in the Throne room when you are ready.”

“Mochof, Titus. I wish not to be disturbed for the rest of the day. Anya, with me.”

Titus dipped his head then disappeared into the shadows as he was like to do.

This time they waited for the elevator. The two alphas rode it up in silence. Heda moved to walk to the Throne room, but Anya stopped her.

“Heda, allow me to contact Raven. Let me tell her first. I believe it will be better for her to tell Abby what happened rather than hearing it over a radio.”

Devastated eyes looked up at Anya. “You are right, ai fos (my first), and I would be in your debt if you would do this for me. I…I can’t tell Abby that her daughter is gone.” Lexa squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears, but it didn’t work.

Lexa had come to have great respect for Clarke’s nomon (mother). The alpha was even-tempered, unlike the other alphas of Skaikru, and she had a strong desire to help people, all people. Lexa couldn’t bear the thought of breaking the news of Clarke’s presumed death to her.

She walked away from Anya then. When she entered her chambers, she shut the doors and didn’t come out again for three days.

Anya trudged to the Throne room. She often used the radio to have flirtatious calls with Raven, but for the first time she was dreading making the call. She picked up the black and grey device and held it in her hands. She knew she needed to, but she didn’t want to depress the button on its side. She didn’t want to break the alpha mechanic’s heart. She didn’t want to break Abby’s heart, but they needed to know; they deserved to know.

She pressed the button. “Raven, are you there?”

Anya waited a minute then asked again. This time Raven answered. “Hey Sexy Pants, to what do I owe the honor? You don’t usually call this early.”

Raven proceeded to try and tease the alpha, but when Anya didn’t play along, she knew something was up. “Anya, there’s something wrong, isn’t there?”

Anya tried to answer, but she broke down, and kept the button on the radio depressed despite knowing that Raven could hear her grief. Raven was the only one, except for Lexa, that would ever get to hear her sorrow. She knew that Raven was probably going crazy at Camp Jaha because she couldn’t talk back to Anya until she let go of the button, but Anya couldn’t bring herself to let it go. Not yet, because when she did, she would have to explain what had happened.

She finally let go. “Anya…Anya. Tell me what the hell has happened,” Raven demanded, so she did. She told her everything she knew, and by the time she finished, she could hear Raven’s sobs.

She waited out the Skaikru alpha. It gave her time to collect herself and control her emotions. When Raven spoke again, she was calmer. “I will tell Abby, and we will be there late tomorrow. We will come in the rover. In the meantime, I suggest you figure out a way to keep Pike occupied until we get there. Have someone go get him drunk or something. If he finds out what has happened, he’s going to start trouble.”

Anya had forgotten about the detestable man. He had been in Polis almost as long has Clarke had been, sent as an emissary of Skaikru, but everyone knew it was to keep tabs on the blonde omega. The Arkers were following Heda’s laws regarding the treatment of omegas (barely), but Heda and Anya both knew that they still saw Clarke as something they owned. Until the omega was mated, Skaikru wasn’t going to let Clarke out of their sights. The omega had made almost daily reports to Anya and Lexa telling them of how Pike was constantly trying to find ways to give his people more power. It was clear he thought that the mating to Heda would position Skaikru above the other clans. 

He was a foolish man, and Anya was just waiting for the day that he slipped and did something stupid. She was going to enjoy watching Heda destroy the repugnant alpha.

True to her word, Raven had Abby in Polis by the end of the next day, but they didn’t come alone. The brought the Blakes with them. Anya was not pleased by this. She didn’t mind Bellamy so much. He could be hot-headed at times but was easily steered in a more productive direction with calm and thoughtful words. His sister, on the other hand, was still brash and irresponsible. She was quick to anger and made her dislike for Clarke clear any time she could. 

Octavia would snark about Clarke and called her the ‘spoiled little princess’ that got to go and live with the Commander. It didn’t matter that time and again the omega had proven her worthiness as a member of Trikru.

The only reason Anya didn’t forbid the young alpha’s entrance into the city was that she had made great strides as a warrior over the past year, and she was now one of Abby’s protectors. She was a capable guard and a better fighter than most in Skaikru.

The minute Anya had heard that the rover had arrived she was in the elevator and heading down to greet her little bird. The two alphas might not have admitted it out loud yet, but they were madly in love with each another. They were still in the early stages of courting.

“Anya,” Raven yelled as soon as she saw the alpha. The girl ran over to her and pulled her into a fierce hug. Anya could see her fatigue and red-rimmed eyes. It had been a hard journey fraught with the knowledge that her best friend was probably dead. 

Abby robotically stood behind Raven. Her eyes were practically solid red from crying. Even as she stood there, tears leaked from her eyes.

She caught Anya staring, squeezed her eyes shut, and tried to give her a weak smile.

“Abby kom Skaikru, I…”

Abby stopped her by holding up her hand. “I wish to speak with Heda.”

Anya bowed her head and guided Raven and Abby into the tower. She ordered two of her men to show the Blakes to quarters far from the tower. She didn’t need them making this harder than it was going to be.

Octavia was about to protest, but Bellamy put a hand on her shoulder. “Not now, O. Abby doesn’t need your anger.”

She huffed but followed her brother as they were led away.

The ride up the elevator was silent, and Anya wondered if Lexa would leave her chambers to meet with the mother of her almost mate. She shook her head, and instead of leading Abby to the Throne room, she brought the distressed woman to Lexa’s door. Even from outside, Anya could smell Lexa’s distress pheromones. So could Abby, and her tears became a river down her cheeks. The Skaikru council woman now knew for certain that what Raven had told her was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. I will always have happy endings to my stories. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter before you move onto the next one.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for your comments and kudos.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, two chapters in one day.

Chapter 4

Three months went by and winter was in full swing. By some grace, it wasn’t as harsh as it usually was, and only a few inches of snow blanketed the ground.

Abby, and therefore Raven and the Blakes, were still in Polis. Pike had been arrested the day Abby and the others arrived for what he had done to Clarke on the day she disappeared. He had been thrown deep in the dungeons somewhere and forgotten about. Lexa still didn’t know what she wanted to do with the detestable man. She was happy in the knowledge that he was suffering, but she didn’t know if it was enough. She’d prefer to execute the man, but the only evidence that she had that he had done anything was the scent she had caught in Clarke’s rooms. There was no physical proof that he was the one who tied Clarke to the bed.

Abby had taken his place as emissary, but she was not considered a full ambassador for Skaikru. That was Clarke’s place, and although there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Clarke wasn’t coming back, Lexa was not willing to let anyone sit in her seat. She didn’t care if it made her look weak. She was in mourning, and she was allowed that one little thing.

The hunt for the wolf that attacked Clarke continued. It had been spotted several times, but it was elusive. It also used the Pauna’s lair to its advantage, often leading hunting parties directly into Pauna’s path. No one had been killed by the giant gorilla, not yet, but two warriors had lost limbs.

It was a particularly grey day that Lexa decided to join the hunt. She had holed herself in the tower for too long, and she needed to get out. She invited Abby to join her, Gustus, Ryder, and Anya. Dasha and Corsac would lead in hopes that they would find the wolf’s trail. Abby agreed to attend but would carry no weapons. She flatly stated she would go as a healer since, more than once, someone from the hunting party came back injured.

There was evidence that the wolf had been near the sight of the original attack. There was always evidence there. Giant footprints were often found in the clearing, and sometimes even closer to Polis. People even swore that they could hear it howling some nights, and they weren’t wrong. Heda had heard it too. It rent huge claw marks in the ground and in the tree trunks. Rumors of the white wolf had spread, and it made the residents of Polis nervous to know such a beast was so close to them. It was why the hunts went on. It needed to be killed, and not only for what it had done to Clarke.

Lexa was not expecting the day to be successful. Three months of unsuccessful hunts had led to more despair for the mournful alpha. She desperately wanted the wolf dead if only because she thought it might mend the gaping hole in her heart, if only temporarily.

Deep in the forest, the party decided to split into two teams. Anya and Gustus would go with Corsac and some of the guards while Abby and Lexa would go with Ryder and Dasha. Heda made one stipulation. If the wolf was found this trip, the others were to maim it, but not kill it. The kill was Lexa’s and Lexa’s alone.

It had seemed that the wolf had been active over the night, and the teams picked the two of the mostly likely trails to follow. The Commander gave stern warnings to Anya and Gustus to be careful since their team was the one heading toward the Pauna’s feeding grounds.

Dasha scoured the ground and the trees as they traveled further into the forest. It was eerily quiet and got darker even though it was not yet noon. Abby fidgeted on her horse, nervous, and twice Lexa moved her own mount near the older alpha to place a calming hand on her knee.

“I am sorry I convinced you to come on this hunt, Abby. If it is too difficult, I will have Ryder bring you back.”

Abby shook her head. “No, I’m a little anxious is all. I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen.”

Lexa didn’t say anything, but she felt the same way.

The horses had been plodding for about an hour, crunching through the snow and frozen mud. Dasha was visibly agitated at having lost the trail. Lexa was about to call the hunt to a halt but picked up her head, hearing galloping in the distance.

Anya was riding at her full force. She pulled on the reins of her horse and took only two seconds to catch her breath. “Heda. We have found the beast.”

No other words were spoken. They all turned their horses to follow Anya, pushing their animals to go faster. It didn’t take them long to find the others. They were on a ridge looking down into a valley. Lexa gasped.

Below them, the largest wolf Lexa had ever seen was fighting the Pauna. It had clearly been injured, but so had the pounder. A dark, meaty fist crashed into the wolf’s flank, sending it sprawling, but the wolf was back on its feet in an instant and bit down hard on the gorilla’s ankle. The primate roared and kicked at the wolf with its other foot.

The people on the ridge watched in fascinated horror. The Pauna was at least twice the size of the wolf, but the wolf was holding its own. If the fight continued, both beasts would probably die. This thought caused Lexa to snarl. The wolf was hers.

She commanded the others to aim their arrows at the Pauna. She didn’t care if they killed it or scared it off. She allowed only Gustus and Anya to take aim at the wolf. They were the only ones she trusted to make their shots nonlethal.

Arrows flew through the air, and both beasts were hit. The Pauna, startled and angered, pounded its fists on its chest until it was hit with another half dozen projectiles. Seriously injured this time, it gave one more look at the wolf before loping clumsily away. The wolf on the other hand, with two arrows sticking out of its back, left leg, and two in its left shoulder turned to look where the Commander and her group were hidden on the ridge. It tilted its head in confusion, pawed at the ground then whimpered. Anya hit it with another arrow. It landed with a thump, piercing its left lower leg. The beast stumbled and yowled. Golden eyes looked back at the ridge before it started a ragged run back into the forest.

Gustus and Anya were on their feet and chasing the animal before Lexa could give the command. She stood to follow not caring what the others on the ridge did. 

The creature was hampered by its injuries and wasn’t fast enough to get away. It was easily followed. Drops of blood led Anya and Gustus to a hidden cave. The opening was narrow and dark, forcing Anya to fashion a torch to give them light. The two warriors now had their swords drawn. They entered slowly and carefully, knowing that there was nothing more dangerous than a trapped and dying beast. They followed the stone walls until they opened into a surprisingly light and large cavern.

The beast was leaning against the far wall, panting heavily. Anya frowned when she saw remnants of Clarke’s bag scattered on the ground. She glared at the beast. The pakstoka heard and lifted its head. It lifted its lips in a snarl and let out a menacing growl.

Anya took a step back and bumped into Gustus. “Go get Heda. The kill is hers.” The wolf roared even as it slipped on some of its own blood. The arrows still pierced its body, but two had broken off at the shaft. Anya noted, with satisfaction, that one arrow missed its target and landed in the rib cage of the monstrous canine. Even if they hadn’t caught up to it, it was likely a fatal shot. The lung of the beast had probably been punctured.

The animal kept up a low growl as Anya walked further into the cavern. It looked at Anya with intelligent golden eyes, and just for a moment she felt sorry for it. She looked away from its eyes and noticed that it wasn’t pure white as she had thought it was. Its ears were tipped in black that slid down its face, almost making a mask. Its resemblance to Lexa’s warpaint was uncanny.

Its head dipped, as it continued to pant. Between blood loss and the arrows in its side, the beast was beginning to weaken. It looked at her again, and if Anya hadn’t known better, she would have sworn that she could sense it was pleading with her.

Anya didn’t turn when she heard Gustus return with Heda. The Commander moved to stand next to her, short sword drawn, and took in every detail of the beast.

“The kill is yours, Heda,” Gustus announced. The wolf lifted its head snarling and showing its teeth, practically spitting at the warrior.

When Lexa moved, the golden eyes moved to her. It blinked once, twice, then pawed at the ground and whimpered. 

Gustus laughed. “It knows who you are Commander. It knows you will be the end of it.” The beast again turned its head to the man and roared, white teeth snapping threateningly.

“Quiet, Gustus.” Both man and beast silenced at her words. She took a careful step toward the wolf. She lifted her weapon and the wolf moved its head, bearing its neck. When she took another step, it gave a short series of whimpers and cries.

Gustus spoke again, not being able to help himself. “See, it’s submitting to you. Put the beast out of its misery. I will take it to the tanner, and you can mount the head above the fireplace in your chambers and use the fur on your bed.”

The pakstoka reared its head on him and roared.

“Em pleni (enough), Gustus!”

Her words had the animal looking at her once more. It dropped its head and exposed its neck…again, whimpering the entire time.

Lexa took her time observing the beast. Her guard was right. It was as if the animal were submitting to her. She put her sword away, and it lifted its head slightly but kept its neck vulnerable. It didn’t move, so she took a brief moment to look around the cavern. Her heart wrenched when she saw the contents of Clarke’s bag on the floor, but what had her stumbling back a step was the carved wooden wolf that she had made for the omega. It had been carefully placed on a natural shelf in the stone wall. She gasped, and the wolf looked to where she was looking. 

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered, getting her a small yip from the beast.

It couldn’t be. It was impossible. “Klark,” she said again, saying the omega’s name the way she only said it in quiet and private moments.

Golden eyes pierced hers, and the beast lowered itself onto the ground, exposing its belly.

Gustus was about to say something, but Anya smacked him in the belly, reminding him to keep his mouth shut. She wanted to watch what was happening because she had a sinking feeling that she knew what was going on even though there was no way it was possible.

Lexa turned to Gustus. “We need Abby in here. Get her for me now and make sure she brings her medical bag.” There was a protest on his lips, but he obeyed his Heda.

Anya watched in morbid fascination as Lexa approached the prone beast. The alpha drew her dagger, and the animal whimpered one last time. Anya would swear it had a look of resignation in its eyes; like it knew its time on this earth had come to an end. 

It didn’t snap or bare its teeth at Lexa. It instead closed its eyes and tipped its chin exposing its throat to her and heaved a labored sigh.

Anya was mystified when Heda reached out her hand and placed it on the giant head of the beast. Its whole body shuddered. It nuzzled into her hand and a tear leaked from its eye.

“H-heda.” Anya didn’t know what to do. Wolves did not cry.

Her plea went unanswered as Lexa ignored her. She was kneeling before the beast now, and it moved a giant paw to rest against her torso. Another tear leaked from its eye.

“Klark.” Its head bobbed up and down, and a sob exploded from Lexa.

When Anya saw this, she was in motion in seconds. She was running back out of the tunnel, screaming for Gustus and Abby to hurry. 

When they re-entered the cavern, Gustus yelled for Heda to get away from the beast.

She lifted a hand to stop his motion then looked up at Abby. “You have to save her. Please save her.” The Commander’s green eyes were flooded with tears.

Abby was frozen. She looked from the wolf to Heda and back to the wolf. It was bleeding and having trouble breathing. She didn’t understand why Lexa wanted her to save the wolf that killed her daughter.

As if to answer her question, the wolf on the ground began to writhe. Lexa jumped to her feet, startled. The wolf yowled in pain, and the sound of breaking bones could be heard. Giant patches of white fur began to fall from its body, and Lexa couldn’t hold in her scream when the wolf’s fangs fell from its mouth.

She held a fist to her mouth as she watched the terrible transformation. Fur transformed into skin and the huge beast slowly shrank. The head mutated with audible crunches and what was once white and black fur turned into messy golden hair. The wolf made a keening noise as it convulsed on the ground.

When it was all over, the naked and bleeding form of Clarke lay before them. She was gasping and in obvious pain. Tormented blue eyes opened and locked onto Lexa’s.

“L-Lexa.” The blue eyes shut, and the body didn’t move again.

Darkness. That’s all there was, unceasing darkness. Clarke waded through it, trying to find a way out, but the more she fought it, the harder it became to navigate. She didn’t know how to navigate in the pitch black, but there was something that told her that she needed to keep moving forward. She was fighting to get to something, but she didn’t know what. 

She struggled and tried to open her eyes knowing if she could just pry the lids open, she would find what she’s looking for, but the blackness weighed her down and made it impossible. Something foreign in her veins was making her sluggish. She also couldn’t hear anything, and it made her panic. The loss of her senses was absolute, and the only thing she felt was her heart beating against her chest.

She didn’t know how long she fought, but she did. Eventually she hallucinated, at least she thinks they were hallucinations, because in them, she was a dog. No, a dog isn’t quite right. She was bigger than that, more than that. She was a wolf, but that couldn’t be. It was ridiculous. There was no precedence for a human becoming a wolf, not that she knew of. She would bark with laughter if barking didn’t make her think that she was a damn dog again.

She tried to get her bearings, but she couldn’t because there was no light. There was nothing, but eventually nothing turns into something, and that something was pain. Her entire left side hurt, and it was painful to breath, except she wasn’t breathing. Something was breathing for her.

She’d whine if there was any sound. She panicked again and her eyes flew open. The darkness became light and was too bright. She was forced to close her eyes again because the hot, bright light seared her eyeballs adding to her already numerous pains.

“Klark.” It was a muttered, faraway sound that she barely registered as her name. 

“Klark, hodnes (love). Open your eyes again, beja (please).”

Her eyes didn’t open, instead her arms flailed, and they hit something cold and tubular on her chest. Before she knew what she was doing, she was pulling at it. She felt a tug in her throat, and it hurt. 

“Klark, no.” A warm grip wrapped around her wrist, but it only made her pull harder. She wanted whatever was in her throat out. There was a tearing sensation deep in her trachea and then she was gasping. Her eyes flashed open to the blinding light, but she kept them open this time. She was too afraid to return to the darkness. She feared that if she did, she would never get out again.

She gasped and felt tears sliding down her face, and the sensation was so overwhelming that it caused more salt to pool in her eyes. Her eyes slid around in her head trying to make sense of what was happening to her, and where she was, but she couldn’t focus, not until the light was obscured by something entering her field of vision.

“Klark.”

She tried to focus on what was in front of her, but the sudden noises and movement around her, when there had only been darkness and silence, made her panic again. 

“Klark, look at me, ai tombom (my heart), look at me.”

She heard the words, and she tried to obey, but her senses were overloaded, and she was in so much pain.

“It hurts,” she finally gasped out.

The face in front of her, because that’s what it was, lowered itself until it became to blurry to focus on, and a warm forehead gently landed on hers. 

“I know it does, and I am so sorry, but your mother is here, and she’s got something to make you feel better.”

With sudden clarity, her eyes opened wide to find her mother standing over her with a syringe in hand. Whatever was in it was about to be added to an IV in her arm. 

“No,” she bolted upright, thumping heads with the person above her. “Don’t put me back to sleep…I don’t want to go back there.”

“Shush, ai hodnes, it’s okay. It’s just a little medicine to help ease the pain, right Abby?”

“Lexa’s right, Clarke. I promise it won’t put you to sleep.”

“L-Lexa?” Her eyes search frantically only to land on the face that had been in front of her all along. Tormented green eyes stared down at her.

“I’m right here, Klark. I promise I am not going anywhere.”

Clarke’s chest was heaving because Lexa was there, and she had thought she had lost her…and everyone else…forever. She thought it was a dream, but it wasn’t. She really had become a monster, and she couldn’t understand it. Not then, and not now, and what if it happened again? She didn’t think she would be able to find her way back if she turned into an animal again. Hell, she hadn’t this time. It was only because she had been hunted down and hurt that she had reverted back into herself. She’d had no control over what happened to her, and that thought terrified her.

As if sensing her distress, Lexa took both her hands in hers. She could feel soothing pheromones enveloping her, and it helped to ease her racing heart…some. “Lex…”

“Shh, niron (loved one). I’ve got you, and I am never letting go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me hear your thoughts. Did you see it coming after last chapter? This isn't going to be a werewolf AU. We will learn a lot more about what happened to Clarke in the coming chapters, and she won't be shifting back into the wolf for quite some time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This may qualify as the longest chapter I have ever posted. At least, I think it is. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Happy reading.

Chapter 5

Clarke had been recovering at Camp Jaha for more than a week before she woke up, and Lexa hadn’t left her side except twice to bathe, and that was after Anya and Indra both told her, not so kindly, that she stunk. She wouldn’t have cared about that except that she didn’t want the odor of distraught alpha to somehow upset Clarke if she was even able to sense it. 

Lexa didn’t like being in the metal confines of what was left of the Ark. It made her feel claustrophobic, but she refused to leave Clarke even after Abby assured her that she would be okay. The omega just needed to let the machine breath for her for a while to allow her lungs to heal. 

During that time, the omega had been utterly still, and this disturbed the alpha to her core. If Clarke would have just moved or twitched even just a finger, it would have gone a long way toward easing Lexa’s heart some. As it was, she was still having trouble wrapping her head around the fact that Clarke had turned into a giant pakstoka (wolf), and for some reason, Lexa felt like it was all her fault. Anya, and even Abby, had told her she was being unreasonable, but Heda couldn’t shake the feeling. She even ordered Titus, and his apprentice Gaia, to pore over the old archives to see if they could find anything, even a tiny mention of this having happened before. 

When Clarke had started thrashing on her bed, Lexa had panicked. She thought that Clarke was turning back into the beast. She hit the call button on the bed, but by the time Abby arrived with Dr. Jackson, Clarke had already pulled the tube out of her throat. Her eyes had opened for a mere instant before closing again, and Lexa felt herself fill with despair.

She called to Clarke and begged her to open her eyes, and when they finally did open again, they were filled with pain and anguish, but the emotion that trumped the others was fear.

Since that time, Clarke had been afraid to close her eyes and rest fearing that if she did, she would either be stuck in the darkness or turn into the beast again.

Lexa didn’t know how to deal with this. The best she could do was to be there for Clarke in a way that she hadn’t been three months ago when the blonde had disappeared into the forest. Thinking of that time, she could only imagine what Clarke had gone through and how scared she must have been. If Lexa hadn’t been such a fool, none of that would have happened.

Her entire being was filled with worry for Clarke. She’d been awake now for almost an entire day, but she had remained silent except for a few words. She hadn’t let go of Lexa’s hand, but Lexa couldn’t help being apprehensive about how things would be between them when Clarke was recovered enough to remember why all this had happened to her. Would she then turn Lexa away? Would Clarke ever hold her hand again after that?

A tear slipped down Lexa’s cheek as she thought about that possibility. She, of course, would respect whatever decision Clarke made, and she knew that if the omega rejected her that she would then spend the rest of her life alone. There would be no one else for her after Clarke.

She huffed. Titus would be overjoyed if she ended up following his teachings that to be Commander is to be alone, except that it wouldn’t be by her choice. It would be Clarke’s.

“L-lexa.”

Lexa lifted her head from where she had rested it on Clarke’s forearm. She didn’t remember moving.

“Hodnes, I’m here. Do you need me to get you some water?”

Bleary blue eyes blinked twice before Clarke answered. “Sha…I…”

The alpha was reaching for the cup before Clarke could finish. She used the controller that Abby had shown her to raise the head of the bed. She then held the cup for her omega until she had her fill.

“T-thanks.”

Lexa felt an overpowering need to tell Clarke what was on her mind even at the same time as knowing she might be overwhelming the poor omega. “I’d do anything for you, niron.” When Clarke was silent, she added, “and I know I have so much to make up for. In time, I hope you can forgive me.”

“Lex…”

“Beja, Klark. I need to atone for the things I have done. I have ruined everything between us, and I am so sorry for that, but I hope you will give me the chance to rebuild what I have broken. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

It was the second time Clarke had heard the alpha beg. It felt like a lifetime ago that it had happened the first time, and maybe it had been a lifetime ago. Every day that she had spent as a wolf had come back to her, and it was a different life. The first few weeks had been difficult, but she was a fast learner and while she yearned for her old life every day, there had also been something very freeing to living life as a wolf. There was no one telling her what to do or how to act, and there were no rules, but living as a wolf was not something Clarke wanted, and she had been so fearful that she would never get to be herself again. Every night she tried to change herself back, and every night she had failed. 

“Klark.” She didn’t realize how long she had gotten stuck in her musings.

Clarke looked at Lexa briefly and then back down again. She played with the seam of the med bay blanket, pulling at a loose, white thread. She didn’t know if she wanted Lexa to leave or if she wanted a hug. 

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered, more to herself but Lexa heard.

Lexa opened her mouth to say something, but Clarke stopped her. “I think I need a few hours to process everything. I’m a little overwhelmed.” Her voice was raspy, and it made her throat hurt. She reached for the cup, but it was empty. The alpha immediately filled and held it for her, then stood from her seat. Her shoulders were slumped, and her head was hanging down.

The look of dejection on her face almost had Clarke telling her to sit back down. “I’ll give you some privacy,” the alpha said stiffly and walked to the door.

“Lexa, wait.” Lexa froze in the doorway. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

Hope filled Lexa’s eyes. The alpha dipped her head once in acknowledgement. “Of course, ai tombom.”

Lexa dragged her feet as she left Clarke in the med bay. She made her way through the long narrow corridor until she was outside. She took a deep breath of cold winter air and realized just how much she missed the fresh air. Several of her people were milling about, speaking with members of Skaikru. Others were sitting around the cooking fires. It was later in the day than she realized.

Her stomach growled when she smelled whatever was cooking, but she kept moving. She knew that even though she hadn’t stepped foot in it since they brought Clarke to Camp Jaha her personal tent had been set up for her. 

She wandered toward the gates, and several of her people tried to get her attention. She either shooed them off or ignored them. She trudged up the small hill to find her solace, if there was any solace to be had.

Before she could reach for the flap of her tent, Gustus was there. He had a plate heaping with smoked meat and roasted vegetables. He silently handed it over then stood guard just outside. She was grateful that he knew what she needed. 

She carried her plate and sat in one of the chairs. She set her food on the map table not caring if grease got on her precious maps. She reached for a cup that was already waiting for her and took four huge gulps. The alcohol burned on the way down, but she knew it would eventually numb the rest of her, and that was what she was going to need tonight. 

Clarke had kicked her out, and it left her feeling more unsettled than when she thought Clarke was gone for good. The omega had essentially invited her back in the morning, but she didn’t know where she stood with the blonde, and it was eating her apart.

Lexa ate her food in silence, and almost drank more than was sensible but stopped herself after her second cup. If she were going to see Clarke in the morning, she needed her mind to be sharp even if she was currently longing for numbness and oblivion. She needed to be ready for anything that the omega threw at her. 

There was a rap on one of the support posts of Heda’s tent. “What is it Gustus?”

“Raven kom Skaikru is requesting an audience.”

Lexa sighed. “Let her in.” She didn’t stand or move. When Raven nervously entered, Lexa pointed to the pitcher and a cup. Once the Skai alpha had filled it, she pointed to a seat on the other side of the table. “Sit,” she commanded.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Raven plopped herself into a chair. She took a sip from her cup. She swirled it around in her mouth before she swallowed. “Damn, Heda. You get the good stuff. Your distillers could show Monty and Jasper a thing or two.”

“Why are you here, Raven?” Lexa’s patience was thin.

“I have a message for you…from Clarke.”

Lexa’s heart started to race. Was Clarke rescinding her invitation?

“What is this message?” Lexa asked stiffly even though she wasn’t sure it was something she wanted to hear.

“She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and not to blame yourself for what happened.”

Relief filled the Commander. “Does that mean she forgives me?”

“I, well, I would assume so, but look, I don’t know what went down the day Clarke went running off into the woods, and I can only take your word for it that she turned into a big fucking wolf, but if all that really happened then Clarke’s going to need time whether she forgives you or not.”

“I understand.” Lexa desperately wanted to refill her cup. 

“She’s not just going to need time to recover physically, although that’s going to take forever. Those arrows did some serious damage…which reminds me. I need to kick Anya’s ass for that.”

“Raven,” Lexa said, getting the other alpha to return to her point.

“Sorry. I was saying that Clarke’s going to need time to recover physically, but she’s also going to need time to recover emotionally. Having every bone in your body break and elongate to turn yourself into a huge ass wolf has gotta fuck with the mind.”

“How can I help her? I don’t even know if she even wants me to be near her.”

“Then be there for her when she wants you but leave when she doesn’t. She’ll probably have times when she doesn’t want you to leave her side, but then she might not want to see you for days. I think it’s safe to say that her emotions might yo-yo for a while.”

“Yo-yo?” Lexa didn’t know this word.

“It’s a child’s toy. You know, it’s a round wooden disk attached to a string that bobs up and down.”

“Oh, you mean an op en daun (up and down).” 

“Yeah, sure, whatever, I just mean that her moods are likely to swing back and forth faster than your sword does when you are taking out reapers.”

Lexa closed her eyes, praying for patience. “I get it Raven. Was there anything else?”

“Nope.” Raven stood, understanding that if she had nothing else to say then she was dismissed. She was just about to push through the flap when she turned around. “That’s not true. I do have one more thing to say. That girl loves you. She has since the first time she met you in your tent. She may have been to hell and back, but a love like that, it doesn’t go away. If you ever feel like it is slipping, then you need to remind her why she loves you so much.”

Anya squinted as she walked the metal corridors on her way to see Clarke. She did not like the harsh lighting that filled the halls. It gave her a headache. She was sure it also had to do with the inadequate way the branwoda (foolish) Skai people burnt green, uncured wood. Their fires produced more smoke than flames, and it was no wonder that their food tasted of ash. 

She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger. Her original plan had been to go and see Raven. Over the past week, their relationship had escalated, and their flirting had led to more casual touching. It was leaving her with a nagging desire to get to know her fellow alpha more...intimately. 

Alpha/alpha relationships were rare in Trikru, but not unheard of. Before Heda had succeeded in joining the clans, an alpha/alpha relationship wasn’t just rare, it was unspeakable. With the wars and in-fighting, mating and breeding were essential if a clan was to survive, and since two alphas could not produce a pup, such a mating was frowned upon, but the development Coalition had afforded two alphas who fell in love a chance at a real relationship, and she was hoping that perhaps she had a chance at a relationship with Raven.

She had reached the door that led to Clarke’s private medical room. Since she had seen Raven heading for Heda’s tent, she had a feeling that she had a few minutes to spend with the omega before heading to find the mechanic again. 

She knocked quietly then let herself in when she didn’t get a response. She figured the healing omega was probably sleeping, but that wasn’t the case. Clarke was lying in bed, but her eyes were open and unblinking. Despite being seemingly awake, Anya could tell by the glazed-over look in the omega’s blue eyes, that she wasn’t even aware that the alpha had entered the room.

Anya took a moment to observe the girl. She hadn’t seen her since before she woke earlier in the day. The last time she had laid eyes on the blonde, there had been a tube sticking out of her mouth and she had been unmoving. 

She was still unmoving, but the tube was gone. She was breathing on her own, but there were dark circles under her eyes. 

“Strik prisa (little princess),” Anya called softly, wanting to alert the girl to her presence without alarming her.

Clarke slid her gaze to where Anya was standing but brought it back to midline to stare at the ceiling again. The alpha approached and sat in the chair by the bedside. 

“I owe you an apology, prisa. It is partly…maybe mostly my fault you are in the condition you are in.”

Blue eyes looked at her again. 

“It was my arrow that pierced your lung.” Anya hung her head. “For that I am truly sorry.”

Pale fingers reached for the alpha, so Anya took them in hers. “Clarke, if I had known…if there had been any clue, I would never have let my arrows loose on you.”

“There was no way you could have known,” Clarke whispered.

“Clarke…”

“There was no way any of you could have known,” Clarke repeated. “Please don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“Mochof (thank you).” Anya used her free hand to move a sweaty piece of hair from Clarke’s forehead. “You’ve always been more generous than you should be, even in your forgiveness.”

The omega gave her a weak smile.

“What happened to you out there?”

Clarke finally looked at her and held her gaze. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet, and when I am, I think I will want to tell Lexa about it first.” She coughed on her rough voice. “I know she is hurting.”

Anya nodded. She had never seen a grief like Lexa’s. “She’s worried that you won’t forgive her.”

“I forgave her before I even reached the forest.” Clarke cleared her throat and reached for the water cup. Anya helped her bring it to her mouth and worried when Clarke’s hands shook as she took a sip. “I hope she knows that what happened isn’t her fault.”

Anya set the cup aside. “I doubt even you will ever convince her that it wasn’t.”

Clarke closed her eyes, and Anya thought she had fallen asleep. They blinked back open and the omega looked exhausted but scared.

“You need to sleep, prisa.”

Fearful eyes looked at her. “I’m afraid to go to sleep,” Clarke admitted.

Anya could understand why. There were a couple of reasons that the omega probably feared it. First, Abby had told her and Lexa what it was like to be sedated and on a ventilator. Per the doctor, Clarke wouldn’t be aware of much. She wouldn’t feel pain, but she believed she could hear voices. Anya wasn’t so sure that this was true. She had watched many of her gona who had been injured during battle fall unconscious and not move for days. When they woke, they spoke of darkness and a deprivation of the senses that was so frightening that it took them days before they felt comfortable falling asleep again.

She was certain this was part of what Clarke was feeling. The second part was obvious, at least to Anya. The omega feared turning back into the beast.

“How about you close your eyes, and I will stay with you. I won’t let you go.”

“P-promise?”

“Ai swega klin (I promise).”

Anya started to hum a lullaby that her mother had hummed to her when she couldn’t sleep. She repeated it twice before the omega’s breathing evened out and her hand went slack in Anya’s. She looked at the blonde and saw just how young she truly was. It was easy to forget that the omega was not yet even twenty. Clarke was a natural born leader. She easily put others’ needs before her own, always sacrificing for her people. She had a strength within her which was rare in an omega. The courage she possessed was that of an alpha. The thoughtful demeanor was that of a beta, but her heart…that was all omega. She was a nurturer, and it was why she was a promising fisa (doctor). She took the time to listen and understand before jumping into something. It was also part of what made her and Lexa such a great pair. Heda was all head while Clarke was all heart. They balanced each other out perfectly, and it was a series of unfortunate and unforeseeable events that led them to where they were now. The omega was too young to have already been dealt so many life-altering blows.

Anya was just making herself comfortable when the door opened. Abby and Indra walked in. The doctor nodded to Anya and silently went about hanging strange fluid-filled bags of medicine and checking Clarke’s vital signs. The circles under the Skai alpha’s eyes were a perfect match to the ones under her daughter’s.

“You need to go rest Abby kom Skaikru.”

The older woman sighed. “I know, but I can’t. Not while my daughter is here, struggling and in pain.”

“I will stay here until morning and make sure she is alright. If something happens, I will have you summoned immediately.” It was Indra who spoke.

Anya could see that Abby wanted to protest, but the woman nodded her agreement. Anyone could see that Abby was running on fumes. “My office is on the other side of the hall. I have a cot in there. Come get me yourself if something happens.”

“Sha, Abby, I will,” Indra promised.

Clarke’s mother reluctantly left the room leaving Indra standing rigidly behind Anya.

“There is no one like our strik (little) omega. She is strong and will make it through this,” Indra commented.

“Sha, she will, and we will do whatever it takes to make sure that happens,” Anya said.

“Heda is going to need our strength as well.”

Anya nodded in agreement. 

“Gaia arrives tomorrow. Word is they may have found something in the archives.”

Anya’s stomach soured. Depending on what they found, it could spell disaster for the omega. “What did they find?”

“The messenger did not say. He didn’t know.”

Anya shook her head. That was the problem with messengers. They often arrived before the actual message, and it left everyone waiting.

“She should be here by mid-morning and will meet with Lexa in her tent then. Your presence has already been requested.”

“Good.” Anya looked at Clarke again. “I’m surprised they found something so quickly.”

“As am I.” Indra moved the only other chair in the room so that she could sit on the other side of the bed. “Who would have thought this tiny blonde interloper would have won our hearts?”

Anya grinned. “Especially yours,” she teased. “I thought there was only a black lump of coal in there.”

“Shof op (be quiet).”

Indra eventually convinced Anya to leave by telling her that her irritating Skai alpha girlfriend was blowing flames out her mouth with Monty’s moonshine by holding a burning torch and spitting mouthfuls of alcohol at it.

“If you don’t want chargrilled alpha warming your bed tonight, I suggest you go stop her before she gets too drunk.”

Anya jumped up. “You could have told me this earlier,” she ran for the door, “and she’s not my girlfriend,” she whisper-yelled.

“Not yet,” Indra whisper-yelled back while also giving Anya a knowing look.

Anya took a few steps away from the door but then went back in. 

“Don’t you leave her,” she commanded.

“Of course, I won’t, branwoda (fool).”

Lexa couldn’t sleep, and after hours of trying, she gave it up as a bad job. She rose, donned her coat and boots, and headed back to toward the metal borders of Camp Jaha. Aside from a few guards, all had sought refuge from the cold in either their tents or the steel monstrosity the people of Skaikru were so fond of. 

Her simmering emotions were barely under control. She was not fond of the people from Skaikru, but she could not deny that their technology was the only reason Clarke was still alive, and for that she was thankful. She owed doctors Griffin and Jackson for saving the omega’s life.

With boots thunking on the hard floor, she approached Clarke’s room. The blonde had invited her to see her that morning but had never said how early. The fact that it was still several hours until sunrise was probably not what she had meant, but Lexa couldn’t help herself. She was feeling physical pain not being near her omega.

She gently pushed the door open, trying not to make any noise and was surprised to see Indra watching over the girl. 

She tilted her head, indicating that Indra should come speak with her in the hall.

The woman rose gracefully from the uncomfortable chair and stepped into the hall with her Heda.

“How is she?” Lexa asked.

“She’s been sleeping since I arrived. Anya was here, humming her a lullaby.” 

Lexa smiled. Anya had done that for her once or twice after she had become Lexa’s fos (first) and Lexa had been missing her family. The tough-as-nails alpha could be shockingly soft at times.

“I used to sing that same lullaby to Gaia, but that was a lifetime ago,” the war chief stated bitterly.

It was a little-known fact that Gaia was Indra’s daughter. Unfortunately, their relationship had taken a turn when Gaia chose to follow the path of a fleimkepa (flame keeper) instead of that of a warrior.

Lexa placed a hand on the other woman’s shoulder. “The path she has chosen is honorable, Indra. Would you deny me a new fleimkepa should Titus’ time end?”

“No, Heda.” Indra bowed her head.

“Os (good).” She looked back into the room where Clarke slept, hopefully peacefully. “I want to spend some time with her alone before she wakes.”

Indra nodded.

“You honor me by watching over her. Mochof (thank you), Warmana (war chief).”

“Pro (you’re welcome), Heda.” Indra also looked over at the sleeping omega. “She’s come to mean a lot to all of us.” 

“Not all. Not all her own people. Look at how Octavia still treats her, and I fear what their Council is planning. An omega that can turn into a pakstoka. They will fear and condemn her.”

Indra snarled. “Then it’s a good thing she is no longer Skaikru.”

“But she is, at least in their eyes, because we never mated.” Lexa bent her head in regret.

“Well, I will personally rip any one of them apart who tries to hurt her.”

“I know, and I appreciate that. Now go and get some rest. I have a feeling it is going to be an extremely long day.”

When Clarke woke, she was much more settled than she had been the day before, even if her pain was still great. She noticed the sleeping alpha next to her but ignored her for a moment. She tentatively moved her right hand up and down her body. Her left arm was in a sling. She grimaced remembering the arrows that penetrated it.

There was a large tube sticking out of her left side. A chest tube, Clarke thought. She leaned her head over the edge of the bed. The tube was filled with straw colored fluid that led to a collection container on the floor. She thought it was a good sign that the container was less than one quarter full.

Moving onto her torso, it was relatively unscathed except where the chest tube was, and Clark breathed a sigh of relief at this. At least part of her was uninjured. 

That couldn’t be said about her leg. Her left hip was swathed in a bulky dressing. It was tinged with blood and would need to be changed in the morning. Her lower leg was casted. The arrow that hit that part of her when she was still a wolf must have broken the bone. She wondered why it hadn’t healed when she turned back since all the other bones in her body had to break to return her to her natural form. She shivered at the memory.

She sighed again and thought herself lucky. There had been no way that they could have known that she was the wolf, and they could easily have killed her while she was fighting the Pauna. 

She looked over at the sleeping alpha that she loved so much and reached out her right hand to touch soft brown curls. It sent a shiver through her beleaguered body. She was meant to be with this woman, but she wondered how they were going to overcome what had happened. She had no idea how it would be taken that she had turned into a wolf. Surely, it meant something, but she had no idea what. 

All she did know was that while trapped in the form of a wolf, she felt an undeniable need to watch over Polis and Lexa, except that she had to do it from afar. She knew that if she approached the city, she would be dead before she stepped one foot into it. It was why she waited until the cover of darkness to crawl to the edges of the forest to gaze upon the tower. With her keen eyesight, she could see when Lexa was standing on her balcony, and even from so far away, she could see that the woman was in pain. She’d howl to the moon and the stars and anything else that would listen, praying to somehow ease her alpha’s pain.

She moved her fingers through another curl, then gentled a finger over the creases in Lexa’s brow. Even in sleep, the alpha looked worried. Unconsciously she started to try and soothe her love with her scent. 

“Ai hod yu in, Lexa. I hope you know that,” She whispered. “I never stopped. Not even when I said all those awful things to you.”

Lexa moved in her sleep to nuzzle into Clarke’s fingers, and the creases in her forehead eased.

She looked over when she heard the door creak open. Her mother, unaware that she was a wake, moved into the room. She was holding bags of medicine to attach to her IV. The omega’s eyes began to water when she noticed that her mother looked years older than she had only months ago, and while she wouldn’t blame herself for something that happened that wasn’t her fault, she couldn’t help but feel saddened by what her mother must have felt when she thought her daughter had died.

“Mom,” the omega croaked out.

Tired brown eyes looked over in surprise. “Oh, honey.” The older alpha dropped what she was holding on a rolling table. She grasped her daughter’s hand and leaned in to kiss her forehead. “I thought I lost you…twice.”

“I’m sorry, Mom,” Clarke muttered.

“No, honey, don’t apologize. You’ve been through so much, and none of it was your fault.”

Clarke reached up to swipe at her cheek and got tangled in the tubing on her face. It was the first time she realized that she was wearing oxygen.

“Do I need this?” She pulled at the plastic tube leading to her nostrils.

Abby stopped her wandering hand. “Yes, Clarke. It will help your lungs heal faster and make it easier to breathe.”

“Right.” Clarke knew these things, but in the state she was in, she was of no mind to try and remember her medical training.

She looked over at the sleeping Commander, stunned that she hadn’t woken yet.

“How is she?”

“Better now that we know you are alive,” Abby said, looking at the young leader with a fondness in her eyes. “but when we thought we had lost you forever, it was bad. I won’t go into details. All you need to know is that she loves you so much Clarke, and she never gave up hope that you might be alive.”

Clarke squeezed her eyes shut and thanked the spirits that they would have another chance; another chance to fix their mistakes, and another chance to do things right.

“I love her, Mom.”

“I know.” Abby said. “She knows it too.”

Clarke tried to smile. “When can I go back to Polis?”

“Clarke,” Abby frowned, “it’s going to be weeks before we can even contemplate allowing you to travel.”

“But Camp Jaha isn’t my home.” Clarke sulked. “I want to go home.”

“I am sure you do, but for now you need to stay put. We can talk about it again when the chest tube comes out.”

“Fine,” Clarke huffed.

“Arkadia.”

“What?”

“It’s Arkadia now. Not Camp Jaha,” Abby said. 

“Why?”

“Thelonius made it down. He saved us all and somehow made it down. He landed somewhere called the dead zone. He only just returned today.” Abby was frowning. She had no love of the man.

“Will he become Chancellor again?” Clarke desperately wanted to know. Thelonius Jaha had not been a fair man on the Ark, and it was because of him that her father had been floated. He was also the one who placed her in solitary confinement for a year. If he became Chancellor again, Clarke would have no problem asking Lexa to gut the loathsome man.

“Only over my dead body,” Abby growled, and it made Clarke chuckle which then turned into a cough because it hurt.

“Good.”

Tired, concerned green eyes blinked open.

“I’m sorry, Commander,” Abby started, “we didn’t mean to wake you.”

Lexa said nothing until she had taken a full inventory of Clarke to make sure nothing new had happened.

“It’s okay Abby, I hadn’t meant to fall asleep.”

The doctor went about changing Clarke’s medicines and handed her two pills. “For pain.”

Relieved, Clarke took the pills with a swallow of water. They were something she was familiar with, and she didn’t have to fear that they would put her to sleep.

“Thanks Mom.”

Abby kissed Clarke again. “Since I know you are in good hands, I’m going to go get a few more hours of sleep. You two need to as well.” Abby pointed to the other side of the room. “There’s a cot over there that you can move next to Clarke’s bed if you want to stay here, Commander. We had it brought in earlier.”

“Mochof, Abby.”

Lexa remained silent until Abby was out of the room. She then moved so that she could take both of Clarke’s hands, careful not to disturb or hurt the omega’s left shoulder. She leaned in and kissed Clarke’s cheek. “Have you rested, niron?”

“Some. I’m not really getting along with sleep right now.”

“You fear sleep.” Lexa knew what it was to fear sleep. She had feared it every day since she thought Clarke was gone. Her sleep had been plagued with nightmares, and it had gotten so bad that Nyko had prescribed her a tonic to drink each night. 

“I…I do.”

“That’s my fault.” Regret and sorrow colored Lexa’s words.

“It’s not.”

“It is,” the alpha argued. “I told you earlier that I mean to atone for my sins, and I’ve thought a lot about how I can do that and how I can make things up to you. I think I have figured out how.”

“Lex, I forgive you. You don’t need to do anything.”

“You’re wrong, hodness. I put the Coalition and my duties as Commander before you, and I am not going to do that again. I’ve decided to step down as Heda.”


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

“I’ve decided to step down as Heda.”

Clarke’s shock was so great, she started to cough and sputter. “You can’t be serious,” she finally got out.

Lexa stood, body rigid and hands behind her back. She looked every part the Commander who she didn’t want to be anymore.

“You can’t do that, Lexa.” Clarke tried to sit up, but failed, so instead she pushed the button on the bed to raise her head up as high as it would go. “If you do, Azgeda or the Mountain will attack. You are the only reason the Coalition stands.”

“Haven’t I sacrificed enough for the people already? I can’t remain Commander and love you the way that I want to. My duties will always get in the way.”

“No, they won’t.”

“They already have. Look at what has happened already. If not for my sense of duty, I wouldn’t have dragged you to that damned meeting during your heat, and I wouldn’t have had to break my promise to you, and…and Pike wouldn’t have been able…”

Lexa couldn’t go on. She had made huge mistakes that day, but she’s certain they could have found their way around it if Pike hadn’t egregiously overstepped and treated Clarke like she was a piece of property to be used to further Skaikru’s cause. As it was, his actions that day were illegal. In fact, Lexa would make it her last act as Heda to finish punishing him for what he had done to her omega.

Clarke flinched and rubbed her wrists. They still bore the scars of the rope Pike had tied around them that day. “He hurt me,” Clarke whispered, and it was all the evidence Lexa needed to eviscerate the man. She would remain Heda long enough to see Clarke healed then return to Polis to painfully execute the man.

The mention of Pike successfully got the two off the topic of Lexa stepping down as Commander, at least for a while. 

“Clarke, I know that I can’t, but please know that if I could, I would go back and change everything that happened that day.”

“So would I.” Clarke shifted in the bed, trying to get comfortable. “I called you a monster, but it turns out that I was…am the monster.”

“No, niron. You could never be a monster.”

“You saw me,” Clarke tried to yell, but it came out more as a croak. “I turned into a fucking wolf. I am…I’m a monster.” The blonde started to weep.

Lexa tried to calm her. “You aren’t…”

“I am, how can you even look at me knowing I might turn back into it?”

Clarke wished that she could escape from the tubes, and IV, and bed that she was trapped in. So many times, on the Ark, she wished she could escape from the life she was stuck in. She was certain it was why she turned to drawing. It was a way to get away from her life, if only for a little while. What she wouldn’t give to get away from it again. Maybe she should take the pills that would help her sleep for a little while. Surely the darkness was better than this pain.

“Hodnes, I love you. Nothing will ever change that.”

“What if I change back and stay that way? Will you still love me then, when I am a mutt lapping water out of a bowl or when I am howling at the moon?”

Clarke’s heart was beginning to race, and it was making her chest hurt, and Lexa could tell that she was hurting. The Commander pumped out wave after wave of soothing pheromones and held her breath until she saw the omega begin to relax.

“Nothing, and I do mean nothing, will ever change the way I feel about you. Even if you hate me for what happened that day, I will still love you. If you met someone else,” Lexa choked, “and mated with them instead of me, I would still love you. My heart is forever yours.”

“Lexa,” Clarke said. She was an emotional mess. Hearing Lexa spill her guts to her confirmed to her that Lexa was who she was meant to spend eternity with. “I love you too. I’ve never stopped loving you.” She reached out a weak hand and Lexa took it. “It was thoughts of trying to get back to you that kept me sane all that time.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Lexa asked softly.

Clarke shook her head. “I’m not ready. Not yet.”

“You don’t ever have to be ready, niron, and you don’t ever have to tell.”

The omega was relieved that Lexa wasn’t pushing her. “Why did it have to happen to me?”

Lexa leaned over to rest her forehead on Clarke’s. “I wish I could say, ai tombom (my heart), but I do have Gaia and Titus looking into it. As far as I know, it’s never happened before, but supposedly they found something. Gaia will arrive tomorrow with what they discovered.”

Clarke shivered. What if it was something bad? “I want to be there when she tells you what she found.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Well, I do,” Clarke spat. Immediately regretting her tone. “It is my fate we are talking about. It’s not like anyone else has ever turned into a wolf. What if what they found is bad? Don’t I have a right to hear it firsthand?”

Clarke was getting tired. Correct that. She had been tired since the moment she woke in the med bay bed. She was now exhausted, but she’d be damned if she wouldn’t be allowed to hear what Gaia had found out. 

Lexa closed her eyes for a long few moment. “You are correct. You have every right to hear what she has found. I will have the meeting moved here, niron.”

Clarke wished she had the energy to enjoy her victory. Her eyes were starting to droop.

“Sleep now, hodnes, I will be here when you wake.”

Clarke closed her eyes but said, “If I wake up later, and you are still thinking that you are going to step down as Heda, I will figure out how to turn back into the joken (fucking) beast just so I can bite your ankles.”

They both managed to get a few hours of sleep. Lexa forewent the cot and leaned her upper body on Clarke’s bed. She found it more comfortable, and comforting, to be able to touch her omega in some way than sleeping next to her on a cot. 

Lexa woke to find Abby fussing over the sleeping omega. She was checking Clarke’s pulse and temperature and getting ready to redress her numerous bandages. Somehow the omega was still asleep.

The alpha lifted her head. “Sonop (morning) Abby.”

The doctor gave Lexa the best smile she could muster. “Sonop, Commander.”

“Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“There is.” Abby pointed to a cabinet. “Can you go in there and get me four large packs of gauze and two gauze rolls?”

“Of course.” Lexa stood and stretched then did as Abby asked. By then, Abby had removed Clarke’s sling, and the dressings from her shoulder, chest tube, hip, and leg. Clarke hadn’t stirred. 

“Did you give her something to keep her asleep?”

Abby looked guilty “I did. I don’t want her to be in any more pain than absolutely necessary. It will only last a few more minutes, so I have to hurry.”

Lexa winced as she watched Clarke’s mother efficiently clean and rebandage the wounds. The injuries looked terrible. Arrowheads never came out cleanly, and the punctures in Clarke’s skin were jagged and the surrounding skin was deeply bruised, but thankfully there were no signs of infection.

“I should be able to take the chest tube out in a day or two.”

Lexa was relieved to hear that. The tube looked terribly uncomfortable coming out the side of Clarke’s chest the way that it was, and it was so large. The alpha had never imagined that a tube that big could be stuck into a person and the person survive it. It made the IV lines look miniscule. 

“And,” Abby continued, “I think she can stay out of the sling and start gently moving her shoulder…her hip too. I want her to try and sit on the edge of bed today, but I won’t lie. It’s going to hurt like hell.”

“What about the cast on her leg?” Lexa asked.

“That’s going to have to stay in place for a few weeks at a minimum.”

She felt bad for the omega. As if Clarke hadn’t been through enough, they had to add insult to injury and place her in the heavy plaster cast. It would be just one of many constant reminders of what the omega had been through.

“She’s healing remarkably fast considering the state she was in when we found her.” Abby had moved on to cleaning superficial cuts.

“Abby, I never meant to hurt your daughter.”

The older alpha looked at her. Lexa had already apologized profusely. “We’ve been through this, Commander, and there is no further need to apologize. You had no way of knowing it was her. I certainly didn’t when I saw her fighting the Pauna.” She finished placing a piece of tape to ensure the hip dressing didn’t come off. “What’s done is done. Let’s focus on getting her better and figuring out how and why this happened.”

They tucked Clarke back under the covers and both stared at the beautiful omega who was just beginning to stir.

“The Council is meeting later today,” Abby remarked.

Lexa felt a growl growing in her throat. The only member of the Council she respected was Abby. The Chancellor, Marcus Kane was getting better, but he was having a hard time letting go of the old ways. “About what?” she finally asked.

Concerned brown eyes found the Commander’s. “About Clarke. Some feel she is an abomination. Others think she holds some kind of power that they can take advantage of. Others simply feel we are wasting too many resources on her trying to get her better…since she is an omega.”

Now Lexa was growling. “She is no longer their concern.”

“They don’t feel that way because you never completed the mating.”

Lexa had to hold in her roar, not wanting to frighten the slowly awakening omega. “She became one of my people the day she was sent to the ground. Let them know that if they plan to do anything that will harm her, I will have no qualms about breaking our alliance and wiping your clan from the face of this planet.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll bring this place down from the inside if they plan anything like that.”

“Os,” Lexa smiled. “You are a good nomon (mother).”

“I’ve failed my daughter before. I’m not going to fail her again.”

Clarke groaned and put her hand over her eyes. “Too bright,” she whined.

Abby immediately moved to dim the lights. When she turned around, Lexa was already hovering over Clarke.

“I’m going to go get the two of you some breakfast.”

Lexa’s stomach growled in response, but Clarke looked positively green at the thought of food. 

“No. No food.” Clarke looked like she wanted to vomit.

“You have to eat, niron.”

Clarke just shook her head.

“What if I could get you some of that yogurt you like so much?”

An eyebrow lifted at that. “I bet I can even get some of the dried peaches you adore too.” Lexa would get Clarke whatever she wanted if it meant she would eat something.

“Okay…but please don’t be gone long.” The omega’s voice was needy.

“I won’t, but I do need to let Indra and Anya know that the meeting has been changed to take place here.”

Abby perked up. “What meeting?”

“The fleimkepa’s (flamekeepers) may have found something about what happened to Clarke.”

“I’d like to attend if I may.”

“Of course, but please don’t let anyone else know that we are meeting. I don’t want your Council getting wind of anything before we know what’s going on.”

She leaned over to kiss Clarke. “I’ll be back as quickly as I can.”

When she returned, she had the yogurt, peaches, and a few other foods that she hoped Clarke wouldn’t be able to pass up. The omega was able to stomach the yogurt with the fruit pieces mixed in, and she ate a small piece of bread. She turned her nose up at the rest of it but did relent and drink a foul concoction Abby forced on her when her nomon told her that she either drank it or would have a feeding tube placed.

Lexa almost cheered to see that her omega still had some fight in her, even if it was a fight Clarke lost.

When Clarke finished the nasty brew, she threw the cup at her mother. It missed since the omega had to throw it with her right hand, but this time Lexa did cheer.

“Good try, niron. I will have Anya teach you how to throw with your nondominant hand so that next time you don’t miss.”

It almost earned her a smile…almost.

“Honey, would you like to try and sit up?” Abby asked.

“No,” she said but changed it to an “I guess,” when she got a pointed look from both Lexa and her mother that told her she needed to try.

It took almost ten minutes, and Clarke was sweating profusely, but they eventually got her to the edge of the bed. Abby had to quickly give her something through the IV to help decrease her nausea and keep her from throwing up the little bit of food she ate.

“This sucks.” Clarke sulked. She was trying valiantly to hide how much pain she was feeling. Two pairs of concerned eyes were scrutinizing her.

“I can’t give you any more pain medicine right now. I’m sorry, honey,” Abby said. 

“I don’t want any. I just want to feel like me again.” Clarke hadn’t felt like herself since she woke up, and she certainly hadn’t while she was stuck as a wolf. 

“I know, but healing takes time,” Abby commented uselessly. “As it is, you are already healing very quickly. I hadn’t anticipated your being able to sit up for at least a few more days.”

This gave Clarke at least some sense of comfort. 

“Try moving your left arm,” Abby suggested.

Clarke did, and she groaned when it felt like the muscle fibers in her arm were being torn apart. It brought tears to her eyes, but she refused to give in and moved her shoulder in the planes of motion that her mother showed her. When her fatigue became apparent, Lexa gently held her arm in her hands, taking just enough of the weight for the omega to complete the exercises.

When she finished with her arm, her mother had her move her left leg, but try as she might, she was barely able to move it. Between the pain and weakness, it felt useless, but again Lexa lovingly moved to take some of the weight off the extremity, but this time the alpha also helped Clarke move through each exercise Abby instructed her on. With each repetition of motion, Clarke began to feel better. Her stiff and painful joints loosened up, and she wouldn’t admit it, but having the alpha touching her gave her the strength she needed to complete the task.

It felt like a lifetime ago that Clarke had been touched with such care, and it made her realize just how touch-starved she was. The three months that she had been stuck as a wolf had not only been isolating and confusing, they had been lonely. Except for the few interactions with the Pauna, which had mostly been Clarke running away when she stole food from it because she was terrible at hunting, she’d had no interactions with anyone or anything. Even her time in solitary hadn’t been so heart-achingly lonesome. It may have had something to do with the fact that she was nearly 100% certain that she was alone in the world. There wasn’t another creature on earth like her, at least not as far as she knew.

“Klark,” she heard Lexa say and brought her gaze up to meet the alpha’s. “You look like you were very far away.”

“Moba (sorry). I was just remembering how it was when…” she let herself trail off.

“When what?” Lexa prodded gently. 

Clarke looked around the room and noticed her mother had disappeared. “From when I was gone.” She looked up at Lexa. “I was so angry when I stormed out of the tower, and all I wanted was to be alone. I had some soul-searching to do, but I got so much more than I bargained for, and…and it was lonely, Lex. It was so scary and lonely. I had never felt more alone in my life than as I did when I was the wolf.”

The alpha moved to encompass as much of the omega’s body in her own as gently as possible without hurting her. She hugged her close and soothed her with her scent, and for a few seconds all of Clarke’s pains melted away. The hole that had grown in the omega’s heart each day that she had been away from Lexa started to fill up. It was as if a missing piece clicked back into place. They still had much to talk about, and a number of issues to fix, but in that moment, Clarke knew that she was home.

Her head dipped forward so that she could hear Lexa’s heart, and it was the balm the eased the fire that burned in her soul.

“Ai hod yu in, Leksa.”

“Ai hod yu in, Klark.”

A few minutes later, Lexa helped Clarke lie back down. Her adventure in sitting had eaten up any energy sleep and food had given her.

Lexa forced her to eat a now cold bowl of oatmeal that had been brought earlier. Lexa made it palatable by adding a heavy dose of honey to it. The three bites she couldn’t finish got polished off by the alpha.

Her eyes had been about to close when the door to the room banged open, startling her back to consciousness. Raven strolled in pushing a large wheeled contraption in front of her.

The Skai alpha gave a beaming smile to Lexa then rolled up next to Clarke. She kissed the omega’s forehead, and then with a flourish of her hands, showed the omega what she had brought.

“I’ve been working on this bad boy for over a week, but it’s finished and now it is yours.”

Clarke looked at the odd gift then up to Lexa who just shrugged. The alpha had no idea what it was. 

Raven rolled her eyes. “It’s a wheelchair.” 

The mechanic got an “Oh” from Clarke.

“Come on. You remember what they look like. Remember that old geezer from Farm station? He had one.”

Clarke had no idea who she was talking about. 

“Seriously, you’ve never seen one?” Raven looked at Lexa. “Your people don’t have them either?”

The dumbfounded alpha just blinked at her. Raven groaned and sat in the chair and started pushing on the wheels causing her to move across the room.

Lexa’s eyes got big. “That is ingenious Raven kom Skaikru.”

“I’m glad someone’s impressed.” They both looked over to Clarke. The exhausted omega had fallen asleep.

Lexa just looked at her with tired eyes. 

“Bellamy’s been wanting to see her. Is it okay if I send him in?” Raven asked.

“Of course, but please make sure his sister is not with him.”

Raven chuckled. “Don’t worry about Octavia. I think Indra sent her on a three-day scouting trip with Lincoln. She won’t be around for a while.”

“Os (good). I’ve been meaning to speak with Bellamy. Isn’t he a historian of sorts?”

“Well, he nerds out over history, if that’s what you mean. Why? You want him to fill you in on werewolf stories? I can do that. I have loads of wolfy films on my tablet.”

Lexa gave her a low warning growl. Long before Clarke had turned into a wolf, the delinquent’s love of horror movies had been evident. The first movie Clarke had ever shown Lexa on the strange device was what she called a “zombie flick.” After that it was a ridiculous quartet of movies called Twilight with creatures called vampires (she deliberately ignored that fact that there were wolves in those movies too), but the most disturbing one to Heda had been a film called An American Werewolf in London. That film had deeply disturbed the alpha and thinking back to it and how the man had transformed into the wolf made her think of the pain and torture Clarke must have gone through when she first changed.

“The full moon is tomorrow. Do you think we need to be worried?” Raven asked in all seriousness, but Lexa didn’t see it that way and practically snapped at her.

“I do not appreciate your humor, sheid sora (black bird).”

Raven held both of her hands up. “I didn’t say it in jest, Heda. Those movies are the only reference most of us have for what happened to Clarke. Her being a werewolf is the only thing that makes sense to us.”

“Clarke IS NOT a werewolf.” Lexa boomed.

Raven wisely kept her mouth shut and muttered that she was going to find Bellamy before running away.

Lexa watched as her omega twitched and whimpered in her sleep. It was clear she was dreaming, and she wasn’t sure if she should wake the blonde or not. She chose not to disturb her. Sleep was healing, even if it was plagued with dreams. If the dream seemed to get too bad, she would intervene.

Anya knocked and entered the room. “Gaia has arrived, Heda. I’ve directed her to rest for an hour and get something to eat. I will escort her here after that.”

“Mochof, General.” 

Just then, Bellamy appeared. Lexa thought him a handsome man and liked him simply for the fact that he had been a good friend to Clarke. Lexa was glad that the omega had the beta as a friend because it seemed the blonde had few people who she could call true friends. Of the delinquents, only Raven, Bellamy, Monty, Jasper, and Murphy seemed to care what happened to the omega. Many of the other delinquents couldn’t look past her status as an omega. Despite Clarke taking a leadership role and keeping most of them alive, many of the delinquents saw her as useless, or a scapegoat they could blame when things went wrong. Others still resented her for the role she played in finding peace with the grounders, unable to think of them as anything but savages, and several despised her because she had had the gall to fall in love with their leader. What it came down to it, in Lexa’s mind, was petty jealousy and ignorance.

Most of those she had met from Skaikru had failed to impress her. There were some, like Harper, Wells Jaha, and Callie Cartwig who were beginning to make an attempt to assimilate with the native population, but then there were others who refused to change like Charles Pike, Hannah Green, and Diana Sydney. Those three, along with Commander Shumway, made her skin crawl. Fortunately, one of them was rotting in the dungeons of Polis.

“How is she?” Bellamy asked.

“As well as can be expected, I suppose,” Lexa answered as she reached out to grasp Bellamy’s forearm. “I understand that you have a good grasp of history from before Praimfaya.”

The beta looked smug. “I guess you could say that.”

Lexa looked down at Clarke then back up at Bellamy. “I was wondering if there are myths or legends that you know about that might give us some insight into what has happened to Clarke.”

“I’ve been thinking of that, and I can think of at least ten, but I am not certain that any of them would apply. They are just myths…stories from long ago.”

“But wouldn’t you agree that all myths have some basis of fact applied to them?” Lexa asked.

Bellamy raised his bushy eyebrows. “I suppose…maybe, but…”

Lexa cut him off. “My fleimkepas have been searching our archives and think they may have found something that is relevant to what’s going on with Clarke. We are meeting here soon to discuss their findings. It would honor me if you would stay for this meeting. I feel that you may have some valuable insight to share.”

The beta’s cheeks tinged pink. It was an honor indeed to be asked to partake in one of the Commander’s consultations.

“Of course, Heda.”

Clarke’s eyes blinked open, and she took in the sight of Bellamy and Lexa speaking to each other. It brought a small smile to her face. 

“Hey,” she rasped out, getting their attention. “Is the meeting soon?”

“It is, hodnes,” Lexa leaned down to give the omega a chaste kiss on the cheek. “I was just asking Bellamy if he would attend.”

Clarke was pleased for the beta. Lexa trusted few of the Skai people. That she trusted Bellamy enough to invite him to the meeting they were about to have spoke volumes.

“Good.” She reached out and Bellamy gave her hand a squeeze. 

“You’re looking better, Princess.”

Clarke winced. She still wasn’t fond of the nickname, but she knew there was no malice behind it. Not when Bellamy said it. 

“I want to be able to sit up during the meeting. Do you two think you will be able to get me into Raven’s wheelchair before the meeting starts?”

“Clarke, I don’t know if…” Bellamy began to protest.

“I’ll be fine, Bell. I’m feeling better after my nap, and I don’t want to be seen lying down when the others arrive.”

Lexa was worried that sitting through an entire meeting might tire the omega out beyond exhaustion, but she was proud of her at the same time for not wanting to appear weak.

“We will help you, ai tombom, but we better start getting you up now. The others will be here shortly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. Clarke talked Lexa out of her crazy idea pretty quickly. What that hell was that alpha thinking...step down as Heda. Ha. Never going to happen, even if Lexa gets it into her head again. 
> 
> Clarke has a fair bit of healing ahead of her. Not only physical, but mental too. Physically, she's going to recover faster than most, but mentally...we will have to see. Who wouldn't be a little...a lot...screwed up by turning into a wolf?
> 
> Up next we learn more about what is happening with Clarke. I'm excited for it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, to bug the skrish out of me, my beta, who reads and edits right in front of me, decided to pronounce fleim as phlegm. I hate that word and everything that goes with it. Yuck. I will admit, it did make me laugh, although now the word will never be the same for me, although Titus the phlegmkeeper might fit.

Chapter 7

Lexa was quickly wiping the sweat off Clarke’s skin. Getting the omega into the chair had been harder than sitting her at the edge of the bed, and it was lucky that they had started getting her up when they did, because they only had minutes to spare before the others would be in her room, and Clarke didn’t want them seeing her looking like she was about to puke.

The blonde had guzzled two cups of water and then used half of another to cool the burning skin on her brow.

“Say the word, hodnes, and I will stop the meeting immediately if it gets too hard for you to remain seated.” 

“I will, Lex,” Clarke said, still panting from the exertion of getting into the chair. Poor Bellamy had had to step out of the room after Lexa growled at him for accidently pulling Clarke’s chest tube while trying to help her over to the chair. It had caused the omega to yelp in pain. “And don’t growl at Bellamy. He was only trying to help.”

“I told him where to place his hands. He didn’t listen,” the overprotective alpha grumped.

Clarke huffed, grabbed the cool rag Lexa was using on her skin and swiped it over the back of her neck. She shivered when a drop of water escaped and slid down her spine.

Just then, there was a soft knock at the door.

“Are you ready?” Lexa turned to Clarke.

“I don’t think I will ever be ready, so it’s probably best to just get this over with.”

Anya, Abby, Gaia, Indra, Gustus, and Ryder filed in followed by Bellamy. Raven came flying in after. Leave it to the mechanic to always be late for a meeting. 

“Sorry,” the flustered alpha apologized. “I wanted to grab my tablet so that I can take notes and look things up as we go. I have a few extra if we need them.” 

“It’s awfully brave of you to nab the Council’s precious computers. I heard they are having a meeting today too. Won’t they be missing them?” Bellamy asked.

“Nah, I imported a virus onto them so that they were forced to give them to me to fix. They postponed the meeting until tomorrow.”

The grounders all looked confused, but Bellamy was grinning, and Clarke was at least amused even if she wasn’t smiling.

“Good thinking, Rae.” 

Introductions were made to those who didn’t know each other, and then Lexa got right to business. 

“Gaia, thank you for coming.”

Clarke watched intently as introductions were made. The omega had seen Gaia trailing behind Titus in the halls of the tower, and had met her once in passing, but she hadn’t ever had the chance to speak with the woman. The woman grasped forearms with each member of Skaikru, and then Lexa led her over to Clarke. The omega was already fidgeting in the chair. Something on the left side was digging painfully into her hip, but she did her best to hide her discomfort when she held out her arm to greet the apprentice. 

Gaia ignored the outstretched limb. She bowed deeply while turning and exposing her neck to Clarke. She whispered a word that Clarke couldn’t make out, stood, and finally accepted the proffered forearm. As soon as the omega felt the other omega’s grip tighten on her arms, she felt a sense of déjà vu, as if she had met the woman before. She locked eyes with the apprentice and found that she couldn’t look away. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and the world around her receded.

“Keyronkepa (spirit keeper),” Clarke whispered, but she had no idea why. She felt as if she was under a spell.

“Wanheda,” Gaia whispered back, with a knowing glint in her eyes that Clarke did not understand, but it raised goosebumps on her skin. Something deep inside her recognized the word. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“What the hell is going on?” Raven blurted out from the back of the room. The interaction between the two omegas was certainly curious.

“That is what I would like to know.” Lexa stood rigidly next to Clarke’s chair. “What is Wanheda?”

“Wanheda is why I am here.” Gaia turned to face the Commander. “Heda, I will be honest and say that part of the reason I wanted to be an apprentice to Titus is because it would give me access to the archives.”

Lexa started to growl. “Heda, please don’t misunderstand. It has been my lifelong dream to become a fleimkepa, but I have always known that I was the Keyronkepa.”

Heda’s growl only got louder. Clarke reached over and took her hand, and the rumble decreased a few decibles. “Explain,” the Commander said sharply.

To Gaia’s credit, she didn’t cower under Lexa’s menacing stare. “It’s hard to know where to start, but I will try to be concise and to the point.

The apprentice dove into her story. For many years, really since she was a young child, the omega had been plagued by images of a white wolf with black face markings. In her dreams, or visions, she wasn’t sure what they were, the wolf always stood by the Commander, fierce and fearsome, who would charge into battle, clearing the way of enemies to allow the Commander to take charge and bring peace to the lands.

“In ancient times, well before Praimfaya, the wolf was called the Opener of Ways and the Protector of Far-ho.”

Bellamy interrupted her. “Wepwawet. You are talking about an ancient Egyptian god of war, Protector of Pharaoh. They called this god Wepwawet.”

“I don’t know anything of what you speak, all I know is that the spirit is far more ancient than anything we know, and it is strong. It awakens only in times of great trauma but also only at times of joyous transformation.”

All eyes were on Gaia. There were mixed looks of horror and revelation. Indra’s face clearly showed disbelief, but Anya’s eyes held a sense of wonder. Lexa’s face though, it was unreadable, and with all eyes on Gaia, no one noticed Clarke’s growing sense of fear. She shrank herself down in her chair trying to look small.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Abby piped in. “Trauma and joy don’t generally go hand in hand.”

Gaia’s dark eyes moved to the omega in the chair. “They do if you are Clarke.”

Clarke tried to sink further into the unrelenting surface of her seat when all eyes turned to her.

“Clarify,” Heda said sternly, trying valiantly to keep her emotions in check.

“Clarke’s life, what I know of it, has always been filled with trauma simply because she was an omega on the Ark, but in finding you, her life changed and got better. She was happy, and if not for that fateful day that you ran away,” Gaia was now directing all her attention to the nervous omega, “you would have had your joyous transformation. You were to become Heda’s mate, and while most of those in this compound believed it would have been a political marriage, there are those of us who know that your union would have been one filled with love and devotion. You are meant to be happy, Wanheda.”

Clarke shivered at the title. She didn’t like it, but somehow, in the back of her brain, it felt right.

“If not for Pike’s interference that day, you would already be mated, but that would not have stopped your transformation into the wolf. The pakstoka (wolf) is your destiny. You are Wanheda. Commander of Death, Protector of Life, and the Catalyst for Rebirth.”

Clarke was shaking her head violently and sweat was dripping from her temples. “No. I am not some kind of agent of death. I may have turned into a monster, but I am not a god or spirit or anything else.”

Lexa knelt down next to the overwhelmed omega. “You are not a monster.”

“The Commander of Death sure sounds like a monster to me,” Clarke growled.

“She also said Protector of Life.” Lexa desperately wanted her omega to think of herself as anything other than a monster.

Clarke’s eyes were beginning to fill, but she didn’t let any tears fall. “I just want to be me. I don’t want to be some stupid spirit animal to the Commander.”

Gaia knelt next to Heda. “It isn’t like that. Wanheda is always mated with Heda, and it is always a relationship built on love, respect, and equality. You are meant to rule by her side, and you will help bring our people together, not tear them apart.”

“If this is true, then why hasn’t Wanheda appeared before? Why hasn’t anyone else heard of her?”

Gaia ducked her head and took a moment to find her words. “The last appearance of Wanheda was all but scrubbed from history. Over the years, little bits of history would come to me through visions or dreams, but I could not find a basis for what I was seeing. I knew that if I was going to find out more, I had to have access to the archives in the tower, except as an apprentice, my time there was always supervised. I was unable to search for information pertaining to you, but once you were found and we got the orders from Heda, I was able to pore over the ancient texts until I found what I was looking for.”

“And that was what?” Heda demanded.

“I found that Wanheda has been…what is the word you Skai people use for rebirth?”

“Reincarnation,” Bellamy helpfully offered.

“Yes, that’s it. I found that Wanheda has been reincarnated three times since Praimfaya, but it has been a long time since the last appearance. The last time she appeared was during the rule of Sheidheda, and their mating started happy, but with time, he changed and became cruel. He twisted and manipulated Wanheda into a force of darkness, using her to defeat and dominate his enemies. His people lived in fear of him and the punishment he’d bring. He used Wanheda to crush the spirit of the people. He destroyed the essence of what Wanheda is meant to be, and eventually she disappeared into the woods never to be seen again. When she left, it gave the people the power to rise up and defeat Sheidheda.”

Gaia rose and grabbed an ancient tome. “This is where you will find everything that pertains to Wanheda. The former fleimkepas hid it deep within the tower. Not even Titus knew this book existed.”

“It doesn’t explain how you knew where to find it.” Lexa said suspiciously.

“As I said, I have always had dreams and visions. They have steered me my whole life. You will see in the book that Wanheda has always had a guide, or guardian, and I can’t explain why, but it appears that this time it is me.”

“I think I am going to be sick,” Clarke announced, and Lexa barely had time to grab a bucket before the omega was violently ill. Fortunately, Abby had also stepped forward, and the two alphas were able to shield Clarke from being seen getting ill in front of the others.

“This discussion is over.” Lexa brushed a sweaty piece of hair from Clarke’s forehead. “We will reconvene sometime tomorrow.”

Indra moved next to Gaia. “Nomfri (daughter).” All of Indra’s hard edges and bitterness toward her daughter had seemed to disappear with Gaia’s revelation about being the Keyronkepa. The Chief looked unusually nervous. “Can we go and speak somewhere?”

Before Gaia could answer, Lexa said, “Use my tent. It will afford the two of you the privacy you are going to need for this conversation.”

Before Indra walked out with Gaia, she leaned over to kiss the top of Clarke’s head. “Ste yuj (stay strong), strik omega. We are all here to help you through this. You are not alone.”

Gaia bowed to Heda and Clarke and went to pick up the book.

“Leave it,” Lexa commanded. 

“Sha, Heda.” The apprentice handed it over to the Commander who promptly tucked it under her arm. 

Lexa waited for everyone else to say their goodbyes, all of whom came over to give a gentle kiss to the top of Clarke’s head, and then when it was only Bellamy and Abby, she had them help her get Clarke back into her bed.

It was clear that the omega was exceedingly uncomfortable, so Abby gave her some pain medicine, but Clarke begged her for the kind that wouldn’t make her drowsy. The doctor had argued that she needed to rest, but Clarke refused.

“I want to see what the book says. After everything, I think I deserve that,” Clarke argued.

Abby wasn’t happy, but she relented. She gave her daughter two pills then left to go get her some tea.

“Are you sure you don’t want to rest? Just for a little while.”

“NO!” Clarke was feeling agitated and grumpy. “I want to know what the hell Gaia thinks I am, Lexa. There’s just no way that I am this Wanheda thing.”

“Yet you were the one who called her the Keyronkepa. How did you know that word?” Lexa hated to press the omega, but somewhere deep inside, she knew the omega had some latent knowledge of what she was. 

“I don’t know. I just…it just came out of my mouth.”

Lexa sat on the edge of the bed next to the omega being careful to not disturb or hurt her. “It is hard to believe but is it any more farfetched than me being the spirit of Heda? The Fleim seemingly chose me, but maybe it was within me all along.”

Clarke sighed and it caused her to cough. Lexa gave her a sip of water. “I don’t want all of this. I just want to be happy.”

“You heard Gaia. You will be, but not only that, so will the rest of our people.”

Clarke closed her eyes. “Whatever. Let’s open the damn book and find out what we can. At least if I have to be practically bedbound, I can try and be productive by figuring out what the hell happened to me.”

Two hours later, Lexa was still poring over the book. Clarke had lost her battle to stay awake. The alpha was almost certain that Abby had put a sedative in the omega’s tea, but the fisa (doctor) wasn’t admitting it. 

She was simmering with barely controlled anger. After Sheidheda’s fall, the fleimkepas took it upon themselves to hide any information that existed pertaining to the evil Commander. They had done their jobs so well that the current flame-keepers didn’t know of Wanheda’s existence until they went searching deep into their archives and into the numerous volumes that existed within their keep. In their haste to erase Sheidheda, the former flame-keepers had also almost erased Wanheda.

Lexa closed the ancient book and set it aside where Clarke could find it when she woke. The contents had been enlightening. It seemed that after Praimfaya, every Commander was destined to fight alongside Wanheda, with their souls entwined. Heda and Wanheda were meant to be two sides of the same coin. Head and heart, but after Sheidheda’s cruelty, the spirit had disappeared only to reappear generations later in Clarke. Each Commander, until Lexa, had been denied their true mate. It explained, perhaps, why every Commander after Sheidheda had such a short reign. Peace could not be obtained without the two ruling side by side. One could not function without the other.

It may also have been the reason that Lexa had felt so incomplete until she met Clarke. The omega made her feel whole, well almost whole. Lexa knew without a doubt that she would never feel one-hundred percent complete until they had mated. Clarke was meant to be a part of her, just as she was meant to be a part of Clarke. 

She wondered if it meant that she too would turn into a wolf. She was reasonably certain that it was only Wanheda’s gift, but she couldn’t deny the allure of being able to run free. Then she remembered the pain Clarke felt as she shifted back to human form and thought it something she did not want to experience after all. The book gave no indication that Heda had ever turned into a pakstoka anyway, only Wanheda.

Raven and Anya came in a little while later with food for Lexa. She scarfed it down while Raven explained that her and Bellamy created a file on her tablet pertaining to wolf legends and myths from before the bombs. They thought it might give her even more insight into what was happening with Clarke and maybe how to help the omega deal with her new role in life.

Raven showed her how to access the file and pointed out the myth about Wepwawet. It seemed, at least to Raven and Bellamy, that this was the origin of Wanheda. Even the distortion of Wepwawet to Wanheda made sense especially considering the evolution of the trigedesleng language. Words, just like myths and legends, changed over time, except that the myth of Wapwawet, or Wanheda, wasn’t a myth at all. Clarke’s wolf form was proof of that.

“Thank you, Raven,” Lexa said, looking at the information on the tablet. “The better we arm ourselves with information and facts the easier it will be for Clarke to accept what she is.”

“Do you accept what she is?” Raven asked curiously.

“I’ll admit that it’s extremely hard for me to wrap my head around. That the human body can transform and turn into an entirely different creature is something I thought only happened in fantasies, but having witnessed it…”

Anya gave Lexa a knowing look. It was hard to put into words what they had witnessed. It was the most gruesome yet extraordinary thing either of them had ever seen. The alpha General shuddered, remembering the cracks and crunches as pakstoka bones transformed back into human ones. 

The two trikru alphas got lost in their memories until Raven cleared her throat. “To answer your question, yes, I accept her. I love her, Raven. She is the light to my dark, the sky to my earth.”

Raven gave a surprised snort. “Funny. The myth says that it was Wepwawet who partitioned the earth from the sky. I guess Clarke sort of did that when she came crashing to the ground in the dropship.”

Lexa had to think about that for a minute. She understood the analogy. “I guess she sort of did.”

Clarke started to stir. “Would you two mind getting her some food? It’s been too long since she has eaten, and what she did eat didn’t stay down.”

“Of course, Heda.” Anya and Raven turned, and Lexa couldn’t help but chuckle when Raven gave the other alpha a not so subtle ass grab causing her General to utter an undignified squeak. It made her happy to know that Anya had found someone to love, even if it was still in the early stages of their relationship.

When Clarke woke again, she didn’t open her eyes. She could sense someone was in the room watching over her, and that someone wasn’t Lexa. Whoever it was left her feeling dread in her stomach. She tried to subtly take in their scent without alerting them to the fact that she was awake, and the sour odor that reached her nose had her wanting to bolt from the bed, but she remained frozen in place hoping that if she stayed still long enough the person would leave.

“I know you’re awake, omega.”

Jumbled emotions of fear and anger had the omega opening her eyes wide. It was half dark in the room, but she was easily able to make out the form of Thelonius Jaha. Her hand automatically went to reach for the call button on the bed that would summon her mother, but the former Chancellor snatched it away before she could grasp it.

“There’s no need to call for help, Clarke. I am only here to talk to you.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” she rasped out, “murderer.”

She watched as Jaha tried to control his features. “That’s fine. All I need you to do is listen.”

“I don’t have to do that either.” Clarke cursed the chest tube in her side. It didn’t allow her to roll over and away from the man.

“You will listen because I tell you to, omega.” Jaha seethed, no longer controlling his emotions.

Clarke raised the head of the bed. She was done cowering to this man. He was the one responsible for her father’s death, and he was the one responsible for her long year alone in solitary. She would not allow him to wield control over her life any further. 

“In case you haven’t heard, since you just got here, you’re not in charge anymore. You don’t get to boss me around.” Clarke was glaring at him.

“The fact that I am not Chancellor will be rectified soon, and it doesn’t matter what position I may or may not be in, you are an omega and you will obey.” His sour scent was starting to make Clarke’s nose itch.

“See that’s where you are wrong. Omegas aren’t something you can treat as beneath you anymore. Down here we are all equal.” She gave him a smug smile.

“Not in this compound you aren’t,” he growled out.

“Wrong again. Arkadia has an alliance with Heda and her Coalition. Break their laws and you break the alliance, and then Heda will break you.”

“You think you hold power now that you can turn into a wolf?” he started to lean over Clarke. “Do you think that because you have the Commander by the balls that you can use her to rise above what you are? You are an omega from the Ark, Clarke, and you will always belong to us.”

Just then Lexa walked in carrying a tray of food. She scented the air and obviously picked up on Clarke’s distress and Jaha’s dominant pheromones.

“What is the meaning of this visit, Thelonius Jaha kom Skaikru?” Lexa let out enough of her own dominant pheromones to have the man stepping away from Clarke’s bed. “Abby gave strict orders that Clarke was not to be disturbed.”

“Apologies, Heda.” Jaha barely dipped his head to her. “I just wanted to check up on the patient.”

Lexa walked over to Clarke and took her right hand. Green eyes roved over the blonde’s body, making sure she was okay. “As you can see, Clarke is just fine, but she does need her rest,” Lexa gritted through her teeth. “I must ask you to leave now.”

He gave Clarke a last look. He narrowed his eyes at her before turning back to Lexa. “Of course, Heda. I look forward to speaking with you again, Clarke.”

After he was gone, Lexa asked the omega what that was all about, and she answered. “Power, control, who the hell knows, but I know whatever his intentions, they weren’t good.”

“I’m sorry, hodnes, I should have been here. I stepped out to get you food. I had Raven and Anya bring you some earlier, but you were sleeping so well that we didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

“It’s okay, Lex.”

Lexa sat the tray on the bedside table. 

“After I eat, I think it’s time for me to tell you about the three months I was gone.”

Lexa blinked in surprise. “You don’t have to, Clarke.”

“Yes, Lex, I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was researching wolf myths and came across Wepwawet, the entire trajectory of this story changed. I fell in love with the idea of using an Egyptian god and bringing it forward and turning it into Wanheda. Honestly, it works...at least to me. It will be flushed out more as the chapters go on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is angsty, so be ready.

Chapter 8

Clarke had tears streaming down her cheeks as she stepped out of Polis. How had something that was supposed to be so joyful turned to shit so quickly?

She knew what had happened. Duty had happened; more specifically Heda’s duty. She knew the Commander had a duty to her people, but just once couldn’t she have put that aside to be with her soon to be mate? If she had, they would already have been blissfully mated. Instead Lexa had put a nonessential meeting ahead of the woman she loved, and while Clarke had been disappointed, she hadn’t been mad, not initially. She understood Lexa’s responsibility, she did, but surely as leader she could delegate her duties to others once in a while. Anya or Titus could have easily handled the meeting.

Even so, she hadn’t complained when she got dressed and ready for the meeting that morning. She had sat uncomfortably in her chair as her heat ebbed and flowed until she could barely stand it. Somehow, she made it to the end of the meeting, and she thought that would be it. She thought Lexa would come over, grab her hand, and they would retire back to Lexa’s chambers, but that hadn’t happened either. No, that damned omega, Cassia, had started flirting with Lexa. How was she to know that Cassia was a lifelong friend?

All she knew was that her heat demanded that she react to the omega who was trying to steal her alpha. Before she knew what she was doing, she was out of her chair and confronting the omega, with disastrous results.

Never had she been forced to submit so completely or so painfully. Lexa’s hold over her was absolute, and try as she might, she couldn’t fight it even though she tried. She wasn’t sure why she fought. Her utter devastation at being made to submit to the one alpha who had promised never to force her to her knees had her heart shattering into pieces. Then she heard the omega’s words and it had her hardening her resolve as her body filled with fury again.

“Just get it over with and mate the poor thing.” Clarke heard Cassia say, as if she were just a piece of property to be dealt with. After that, the rage that burned in her blurred everything else out until Pike was walking beside her in the hall. Rage then turned to fear as she was forced to submit yet again. She shook her head refusing to remember what happened after.

“Clarke,” Lexa interrupted the retelling of her story. “How are you able to forgive me after this?” The alpha was resting her forehead on Clarke’s arm where she lay in the med bay bed. “I don’t deserve it.”

Clarke gentled her hand over the alpha’s head. “I’ll be honest, I didn’t think I would ever be able to forgive you, but I already had by the time I walked into the forest.”

“Wh-why?”

“Because I love you…and I know you are bound by duty.”

“It’s a duty I am willing to give up for you, Clarke.” Lexa had lifted her head so that she could look directly into the omega’s eyes.

“Well, it’s a duty I am not willing to let you give up. The Coalition needs you just as much as I do.”

Lexa went to protest, but Clarke didn’t allow it. “How about this? When the time comes, and we can make this relationship official, we go away. You hand over leadership to the natblidas (nightbloods) as a sort of test to see how well they can run Polis and the Coalition in your absence. There are eight of them, so give each one of them a turn at commanding. That would give us eight months of freedom before we’d have to return. It will give us all the alone time we need to mend our relationship and to mate.”

Lexa’s eyes widened at this suggestion. “Four of them are far too young to attempt such a feat, Clarke.”

“Fine, then they pair up. The oldest with the youngest and so on. That would still give four months of time to just be us, without responsibility except to each other.”

Lexa couldn’t help but smile at the idea. “Titus will be angry. If he had any hair, it would turn grey just at the idea of it.”

“So, you will consider it?” Clarke asked hopefully. It was the first hope she had felt since turning into the wolf.

“There’s no consideration needed. I will make it so.”

Clarke gave her a smile, but it faltered. “You need to hear the rest of my story first; in case you change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

“You might.”

“Clarke.”

Storming out of the castle had been one of the hardest things Clarke had ever done. Her skin was buzzing and quivering, making it twitch as she walked toward the forest. It was a feeling she hadn’t quite experienced before, and she was certain it had something to do with being forced to submit to Pike and the harsh words she had yelled at Lexa. It was uncomfortable, but she marched on. She may not have been able to crawl out of her itching skin, but she was able to crawl away from the life she was currently living.

She needed to get away. She needed time to think, and she needed to give Lexa time to figure out if they could make their relationship work. With the Commander’s duties always coming ahead of her, Clarke wasn’t sure it would work. It wasn’t that Clarke felt that she deserved all of Lexa’s attention, not at all. The people would always come first, but at some point, Lexa had to put aside the mask of Heda and just be Lexa. They wouldn’t survive if Lexa couldn’t. She was willing to sacrifice and work with Lexa to help keep the Coalition together, and when she thought about it, she’d even still work to help Skaikru despite her earlier thoughts, but she couldn’t mate with Lexa and not be allowed to live as true mates. If Lexa couldn’t make time for just them sometimes, then mating with her wasn’t something Clarke wanted no matter how much she loved the alpha. 

The thought stopped Clarke in her tracks. She knew that Lexa was meant for her, just like she knew she needed air to breathe. If she couldn’t mate with Lexa, then she would remain alone.

Clarke snorted at this. On the Ark, she had vowed that she would never mate, even if they tried to force her. She found every alpha on the Ark repugnant (at least the ones she knew) and she would not be forced into a loveless union. No one knew it, not even her mother, but she’d hidden a large stash of suppressants. She knew that if she took them all at once it would render her baren, and no alpha wanted a baren omega. It was as simple as that. It would have broken her to know that she would never have a pup, but it would have kept her safe.

She started moving again until she got to a clearing in the woods. She was so focused her thoughts, that she hadn’t realized how far she had already walked. The skies were clear, but the moon was absent, and she stumbled on a root that was invisible in the darkness. Her heavy heart hadn’t allowed her to pay attention to her surroundings, and when she stumbled again, she fell. It was just as she was picking herself back up that she felt a crushing pain at the back of her head.

After that, a rapid series of injuries, followed by unfathomable pain, had her thinking she was being attacked, but try as she might, she couldn’t see her attackers. She spun and brandished her dagger, but somehow her attackers managed to crush her hand, making her drop her weapon. After that, she tried to run, but in her haste, bashed her head on a low-hanging limb.

“Oh, Clarke.” Clarke ignored her alpha. If she didn’t go on, she wouldn’t ever be able to finish telling her story.

After she hit her head, she wobbled until she fell again, and for a few glorious minutes, all she saw was darkness. There had been no pain, but when her vision returned, she screamed. She watched in horror as her limbs seemed to almost melt even while they cracked and reformed themselves. Her yowling redoubled when her canine teeth dropped out of her mouth only to be replaced by fangs, but it was the white fur that sprang from her pale skin that had her trying to get away from herself. She wasn’t being attacked, she was mutating.

She clambered at the ground, trying to do something, anything, to stop what was happening to her until a blinding pain shot down her back, paralyzing her movement. She crumpled to the ground, and it felt like her spine was being ripped straight out of her back. She wailed as her torso began to elongate and the bones in her face started to break. When it was all over, she way lying on her side panting. Her thoughts were fuzzy, but the rest of her senses were so heightened that she was overwhelmed. Scents she had never detected before assailed her nose, and the darkness of night vanished. She could see everything clearly and brightly. 

She stayed on her side for so long that a brave mouse scurried up to her and sniffed at her nose. She snapped her teeth at it then yipped when she realized that her jaw had extended into a long muzzle. She tried to cross her eyes in order to get a better look only to whimper when she realized it looked like the snout of a dog.

Flailing, she somehow got to her feet. It took her longer than it should have to realize that she couldn’t stand on just two legs. Once she realized this, standing was easier, but walking was not. She wobbled and weaved, and the only reason she didn’t fall was because she ended up leaning on the trunk of a tree. Random pains still zinged through her body making her breath catch each time. 

As she leaned, she tried to take in her new body. It was so foreign that she couldn’t wrap her head around it and kept screaming in her mind to wake up. She lifted her hand (no, it was a paw) and scratched it into the ground thoroughly creeping herself out when she extended the claws to dig deeper into the soft earth.

She was still trying to catch her breath and figure out what the hell was happening when she heard distant yelling. She wasn’t sure how, but she knew it was Lexa and briefly wondered at how she could hear something that was so far away. That was when she knew she needed to run. She needed to get as far away as possible.

The others wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t know that this…animal was her, and she knew without a doubt that they would kill her. Instinct took over. She nabbed her backpack with her fangs, and she started to run. She sprinted through the woods, easily dodging limbs and rocks. She ran as fast as she could until she couldn’t hear the yells from Polis anymore. When she finally stopped, and realized where she was, she would have cried if she could.

In her delirious dash to get away, she had run directly into the Pauna’s territory. Her keen eyesight showed her the scattered bones of animals littering the ground. She was standing in its feeding grounds. Warily, she padded through the territory until she thought she was on the other side of it. She didn’t know where the giant gorilla slept at night, but she didn’t want to accidently wake it. 

She walked through the forest then with no idea where she was going. Her only thoughts were that she was an animal now. When she got to a stream, she tried to look at her reflection, but with no moonlight, she couldn’t see herself. She wondered if she looked like a dog, as she thought, or was she some kind of disfigured monster. She’d have to wait until daylight to find out.

She wandered for hours, ignoring her fear and grumbling stomach. She hadn’t eaten since before the meeting that morning, and she was beginning to tire. She had no idea how to get food in the forest, not as an animal with paws instead of hands. She decided to circle back to the Pauna’s lair hoping that she’d find some remnants of food there. With her new, acute sense of smell, she could tell that the gorilla had made a recent kill. It made her sick to think about what she was going to do, but she knew she wouldn’t survive without food. 

She used her heightened sense of smell and located the partially eaten remains of a deer. The giant primate had been smart and tried to hide the rest of its kill in a hollowed out trunk of a fallen tree, but Clarke was easily able to dig it out with the claws that had freaked her out so badly. Then using her new, powerful jaw, she dragged the carcass out. 

Her senses told her that the meat was still fresh. Her human mind recoiled at the idea of eating the mauled deer, but the hungry animal that she had become won out. She used her fangs to rip the flesh of the creature and swallowed large chunks of it. She wanted to be ill and stop, but she couldn’t. The raw meat and blood almost excited her, and that made her want to cry again. She didn’t want to be a beast that hunted and killed other animals. She didn’t want to crave their flesh. She took two more swallows then backed away from what remained of the deer. There wasn’t much left. Without knowing it, she had practically stripped the bones clean.

She stumbled backwards and shook her head, disgusted with herself. She sprinted away from the place, trying to outrun her spiraling thoughts and feelings. She ran until she couldn’t run anymore. It was nearly daybreak by then, and she knew she needed a place to hide and rest. From what she could tell, there wasn’t anything suitable and she had to wedge herself uncomfortably between two boulders. It didn’t matter. She was tired and scared. She needed to lie down, except when she did, she started to fall asleep, and she didn’t want that. She was afraid that if she fell asleep that the beast would consume her, and all her humanity would be lost. She struggled for as long as she could, but exhaustion won out. 

She didn’t know how long she slept, but the sun was high in the air when she lifted her head. She was pleased when her thoughts were still her own, but she howled when she realized that she was still the beast. She wanted to wallow in her despair, but she was drawn to get up by an overwhelming thirst. It was a need she couldn’t ignore, so she scented the air and her feet carried her to water. At least there was one perk to having extraordinary senses. She was able to find water without even thinking about it. She was lapping at the cool liquid, drinking her fill when she finally caught sight of her reflection. She yipped and stepped back. She stood tall and tipped her head back and forth, trying to get a good look at herself. 

Her fur was mostly white except for black face markings. She scrunched up her lips and looked at her shockingly long fangs. They were so startling that she fell back on her rump, bending her tail at an odd angle. This made her aware of the fact that she even had a tail, and she spent at least five minutes spinning herself round and round trying to get a glimpse of it. She finally realized that if stood sideways next to the creek she could see herself more clearly.

She was HUGE, nearly four times as big as she was when she was a human. Her tail made her seem even bigger with how long it was. Unconsciously it started to wag, and she almost dunked herself in the creek when she tried to run away from the odd sensation. The absurdity of it all made her growl.

How could this be happening, and why was it happening to her? It should have been physically impossible for her body to increase in mass by four times. It was beyond her to make sense of it all.

She sat on her haunches then and studied herself. If she looked at herself objectively, she could see that she was really quite stunning. Her eyes were golden and except for the dark fur on her face and ears, she was pure white. She could have stared at herself for hours, but again her body reminded itself of her needs. She needed to eat.

She tried to hunt, but she couldn’t do it. Not at first. She had no problem finding prey. That was easy due to her extraordinary senses but being stealthy enough to catch then kill it was not something she was initially capable of. She found herself wandering back to the feeding grounds of the Pauna. She stole what scraps she could, and more than once got into tussles with the brute. She was faster and more agile, but it was stronger and more determined. It landed a mighty paw on her shoulder during one fight, and she’d had to limp away before it could finish the job. 

It took her two days to recover after that scuffle, and she spent the time between her two rocks. When she was finally able to walk comfortably again, she forced herself to find a better place to hide and rest. She crisscrossed the forest until she found an unoccupied cave. It had a long, narrow opening that led to a surprisingly bright room. She dropped the contents of her worn and dirt covered backpack on the floor of the cavern and nosed the wooden figurine Lexa had given her. 

She’d been a wolf for weeks, and Lexa was never very far from her mind. Thoughts of the alpha are what kept her from going insane. More than once she wondered if Lexa unconsciously knew that Clarke would one day turn into a wolf. Why would she have carved the little wooden figurine if she hadn’t? It wasn’t as if wolves were prevalent in the forests of Trikru. It was Azgeda that boasted of having the graceful creatures. 

Resting on the cave floor, she maneuvered the wooden figurine so that she could still see it even while resting her head on her giant front paws. Looking at it made every cell in her body ache for the alpha who had carved it, and even though it had been weeks, she still felt like there were traces of her heat coursing through her body, as if it refused to go away because she hadn’t fulfilled her promise to mate with Lexa. It had her insides churning.

She craved Lexa like nothing she had ever craved before, and from the start she found herself edging closer and closer to Polis without ever getting too close to be seen. Even from far away, she could see that her alpha was spending an inordinate amount of time on her balcony, and the alpha was sad. Clarke knew it was because Lexa thought she was dead, and maybe that was for the best. She would never be able to approach the alpha again, not as a wolf, so maybe it was better if Lexa thought she was gone. Maybe she was. Maybe it was her lot in life to spend the rest of her days on four paws, roaming the forest and trying to scrape by. 

Each day, it became harder and harder to lift her lumbering body and leave her cave to find food and water, and the only time she ever felt free of the burdens of living as a beast and free from her thoughts of Lexa was when she was running. It was the one thing she truly enjoyed. She would wake in the predawn light and force herself to step out of the warmth provided by her cave. She’d shake out her matted fur, breath in the crisp air, and she would run. She’d sprint through the trees until she had exhausted herself, and then she would return to her cave to sleep the day away. It was only at night that she would try to hunt, or more often steal from the Pauna.

The first time she had successfully hunted on her own, she had caught a rabbit. Somewhere in her, her wolf instincts took over again, and she stalked the rabbit, not making a sound. When she pounced and used her jaws to break the poor animal’s neck, it let out a quick pained screech before dying. Clarke couldn’t eat it after that. She had killed the rabbit out of necessity, but it had felt wrong. She had hunted and killed for food before, as a human, and it had never affected her the way killing the rabbit did. It was one of the first things Anya, Indra, and Lexa had taught her, so she didn’t know why it affected her so badly to kill the hare. Maybe it was the fact that she had killed it with her teeth. All she knew was after that, she wasn’t going to go after anything bigger than a mouse. She could catch those and swallow them whole. It made her ill to do it, but it gave her enough energy to go back and scrounge at the pounder’s feeding grounds. 

Each day, however, it became harder and harder to do even that. She was less willing to take her morning runs, and she found herself relying more and more on the scraps she could find. She was falling into a pit of despair, knowing that she would never feel the touch of another human, the touch of Lexa, ever again, and she was starting to give up. She was reckless when stealing from the Pauna, and their fighting became more frequent. The other creature was smart, and it had caught onto her patterns. There were several occasions where it was waiting for her, and they would battle over the kill it had made. Most times, Clarke would be lucky and was fast enough to snag some food for herself, but there had been a few times where she had left hungry. There had also been a few times where she had left hurt.

On a few occasions, she had thought it was fun to rile up the Pauna, taking chances and nipping at its ankles or biting its backside just to piss it off. In all honesty, it might have been because Clarke was losing her sense of self-preservation. She was to a point where she didn’t care if she lived or died. The monotony of eating, drinking, fighting, and running was getting old fast. She was tired of sleeping on the ground. She was tired of using her teeth to pull burrs out of her fur, and she was tired of being alone. She missed people, and more importantly, she missed Lexa. What made it worse was that every day she tried to make herself human again. At first she was determined and convinced that she could turn herself back, but after every failed attempt, she fell further into her depression, and that was why, on the day the trackers and Anya had spotted her, she was in a battle with the Pauna. She had gone to its lair spoiling for a fight. She felt an increasing need to pour her rage and despair at being a wolf into something, so she went to take it out on the giant gorilla. Little did she know that the Pauna would be ready and willing to give everything it got. 

They had already been battling each other for at least half an hour when the trackers spotted them. She had briefly looked up the hill, taking note of the movement up there, but she was too embroiled in her fight to care. Every hit, every slash she made, and every crushing blow she received made her feel alive. It wasn’t until the first arrow punched into her body that she realized that it was people on the hill. She noted Gustus first. She couldn’t miss the giant of a man, but then she saw Anya, then her mother, and then Lexa. She was so caught up in seeing the people she loved most in the world that the ape-like monster was able to deliver a debilitating blow. It knocked her head so hard she was seeing stars. It would have finished the job, but a flight of arrows rained down and hit multiple places on the pounder. It brushed off the aerial attack and made to crush its foe, but a new volley of arrows hit it. It roared and pounded its chest and then it ran.

Clarke looked at the group congregated on the hill and she whimpered. She already had a couple of arrows sticking out of her by then. She easily heard Lexa give the command to shoot her again but not to kill her because the kill was hers. 

Lexa was going to kill her. Perhaps it was a fitting end to be killed by the one she loved most. At least she would be able to see Lexa up close and personal again. It was something she had been dreaming of for weeks. A couple more arrows hit her, and one left her gasping for breath. As much as she thought she hadn’t cared about her life anymore, the wolf in her had other ideas. It wanted to live, so she ran. At least it was an attempt to run. She slid and she stumbled, and she panted as she tried to catch her breath. Even as she fled, she knew her fight was at an end. They would either catch her, or the arrow in her left side would cause her demise, either way, it was over.

She made her way back to her cave. If she were going to die, she wanted it to be somewhere familiar. Even if it wasn’t home, it was the only place that had given her comfort over the past few months. She ran down the tunnel and into the large opening. She went as deep into the room as she could then leaned against the far wall trying to catch her breath. Her head felt heavy and dipped so low that her nose almost hit the ground. She lifted it when Anya and Gustus walked in.

She couldn’t help but roar when Anya commanded Gustus to go get Lexa so she could make her kill. She tried to keep her head up as she growled at her friend, but she was getting weak. She was losing too much blood. It didn’t matter if Lexa made it to the cave. Clarke knew she was likely going to die. Her injuries were too great. 

When Lexa finally entered her cave, she was almost too weak to remain on her legs. She watched as Lexa took in every detail of her, and she couldn’t help herself when she roared, snapped, and sneered as Gustus taunted her. His words made her so angry, but he wasn’t wrong. He wasn’t wrong saying that she was submitting to Lexa, but he was taunting her and encouraging her lover to kill her.

She whimpered and whined as Lexa approached, pawing at the ground in her distress. Her alpha was finally in front of her, but she wasn’t there to embrace her or take her home, she was there to kill her. 

Clarke whimpered again. Her fight was over, and there was no more use in fighting. She exposed her neck to Lexa, submitting to her willingly. Green eyes pierced hers then looked around the room. Clarke’s eyes followed Lexa’s. The alpha had spotted the tiny carved wolf on the rock shelf.

“Klark.”

It had to be a dream that Lexa knew it was her, but it didn’t matter. It was too late. She slid to the ground, no longer able to hold herself and exposed her belly to the woman she loved, hoping Lexa would make her death quick.

She resigned herself to her fate when Lexa drew her dagger. She tipped her head, exposing the soft flesh of her throat. Better a dagger to her throat than to her belly. 

She shuddered when instead of the point of the dagger, she felt Lexa’s hand dig into the thick fur of her neck, and when Lexa said her name again, she couldn’t help but nod her head. Lexa let out a guttural sob. Clarke knew then that her astute alpha had figured out the impossible. Lexa knew that the beast before her was Clarke.

She was too weak to move, but she slid her eyes to the cavern entrance when Anya started yelling. She squeezed her eyes shut when Abby skidded into the rock cave. She probably wouldn’t realize it, but Abby was about to witness her own daughter’s death, and she wished that Abby would go back outside. She didn’t want her mother seeing her like this. She didn’t want anyone seeing her like this.

Her mind was muddled, and she was slowly losing her capability to understand what was going on around her. Lexa was yelling, and Clarke could feel the distress coming off her. Something in her snapped when Lexa said something about saving her. 

She closed her eyes again, and she felt the first crack. It sent burning pain down her entire spine. She felt herself twist and convulse on the ground. In her injured state she couldn’t be sure, but she thought she was changing back. All she could do was feel the pain and hope that it would be over soon.

“You know the rest,” Clarke said, voice monotone. She had completely depleted herself while retelling her story.

Lexa had tears streaming from her eyes. “Clarke, hodnes. I…I am sorry. I’m so sorry.” She dropped her head and sobbed into Clarke’s chest, and Clarke’s weak attempt to soothe her with her scent only helped marginally. “What you had to go through…” Lexa wept harder. “You were all alone…I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry.”

“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“I’ll never leave you again, you have my word.” Lexa continued to sob and apologize.

“Even if I turn into a beast again?” Clarke eventually whispered.

“You weren’t a beast, Clarke.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Clarke accused.

“I won’t leave you, niron, no matter what, and tomorrow, we are going to start working with Gaia to figure this out.”

Lexa was wracked with a new wave of tears and she recalled parts of Clarke’s story. For three months, the omega had to struggle to survive on her own, and really it was only because of pure dumb luck that Lexa hadn’t killed her. If she hadn’t seen the tiny carved figurine, she probably would have killed the only woman she had ever loved. She looked up when Clarke spoke again.

“Can we do it outside? I need to get out of here, Lex.” Retelling her story had thoroughly wiped her out, but she was beginning to feel like a caged animal. The irony wasn’t lost on her. The recycled air of the Ark was stale. She needed fresh air.

“It’s cold, hodnes.”

“I don’t care. I need out of this room before I go insane.”

“Then I will make it so, as long as your mother says it’s okay.”

“Great. I am never getting out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's feud with the Pauna isn't over. We will be seeing the pounder again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos on this story. They mean the world to me.

Chapter 9

Clarke was correct. Abby refused to let her out of the med bay until her chest tube was removed, and that wouldn’t be until the next day. 

“But it isn’t even draining that much,” Clarke whined. She looked down at the canister that was attached to the tube in her chest.

“I know, Clarke, but we can’t risk taking it out too early and having your lung fill back up with fluid.” Abby reminded her.

Clarke closed her eyes. “Fine.” She looked down at the cast on her leg. “Tell me this. Why do you think the bone in my leg didn’t heal when I changed back? I don’t have any other broken bones.” She wanted to distract herself from the growing sense of claustrophobia she was feeling. If her mother refused to let her out again tomorrow, she’d rip the damn tube out of her chest herself. She wasn’t going to spend another day trapped inside.

“I think it is for the same reason you still have arrow wounds and the lung injury. The arrows were still in your body when you changed back.” Abby cringed when she said the last part.

Clarke looked at her mother. Abby still looked exhausted, and not only that, she looked haunted. It didn’t stop the older alpha from puttering around the room, rolling bandages, cleaning instruments, and avoiding eye contact with her daughter. 

Clarke sighed. She needed to speak with her mother, but she couldn’t do that with Lexa present. She appreciated that Lexa had kept her word to not leave her alone, but she needed privacy with Abby. 

When she thought about it, she hadn’t had any quality time to speak to her mother. Ever since her return, all Abby had been doing was caring for Clarke. The blonde wondered how her mom was taking her return from the dead. She wondered how her mother was dealing with the fact that her daughter had turned into a wolf. She couldn’t imagine the toll everything must have taken on her. It was no wonder that the circles under Abby’s eyes were so dark.

“Hey, Lex,” Clarke asked, grabbing the alpha’s hand. “Can you go get me some of that yogurt I love so much?”

“Niron, I will have someone get it for you.” The alpha was reluctant to leave. Not after what Clarke had told her.

She squeezed Lexa’s hand. “I need a few minutes alone with my mom.”

The Commander nodded her head. “I’ll be back in an hour. Will that be long enough?” 

“That should be plenty. Thanks, Lex.”

Heda leaned down to kiss Clarke’s forehead, and then left to give Clarke and Abby the privacy they needed.

Abby looked up when Lexa left, but she didn’t stop what she was doing.

“Mom, you need to stop and take a break,” Clarke insisted.

“There’s too much to do, Clarke,” the doctor protested.

“There isn’t. Come talk to me…please,” she begged. 

“Honey, I have a lot that I need to finish.”

“You thought I was dead, and now that I am back you won’t take the time to talk to me? Why won’t you look at me? The only time you look is when you are doctoring me. I need…I need my mom.”

Eyes the color of iced tea finally looked at her, and they were filled with pain. Abby dipped her head. “I’m sorry, Clarke. I…I don’t mean to be this way, but I am so afraid that this isn’t real. I’m afraid this is all a dream…and I can’t lose you again.” A tear slipped from the alpha’s eye.

Clarke lifted her arms, carefully on the left. She suddenly needed a hug from her mother. Abby pulled her into an embrace. She was cautious of the omega’s injuries, but still crushed her daughter to her. She wept. 

“Losing you…thinking you were dead was just as painful as losing your father.” Abby sucked in a stuttering breath. “I honestly didn’t think I would survive it.”

“Mom…”

“It hurt, Clarke, and I thought the pain would never go away, but the Commander, she helped me, even though she was in just as much pain. She offered me comfort, and she consoled me even though I was inconsolable. She apologized to me every day for losing you.” Watery eyes looked at Clarke. “It’s true when they say misery loves company. We were miserable together, but somehow that’s how we kept each other going, and somehow that amazing alpha of yours kept the Coalition from falling apart at the same time.”

“She told me she would step down as Commander if I wanted her to,” Clarke whispered. The blonde was still amazed at the lengths Lexa was willing to go to atone for the transgressions she felt she committed against Clarke.

Abby lifted her head. “She can’t do that. It would spell disaster for everyone.”

“I know that. I’ve told her as much. She will not be stepping down.” Clarke fidgeted in the bed. She was so tired of lying down.

Abby sighed, relieved. “It speaks to how much she loves you that she’s willing to do that.”

The corner of Clarke’s lip ticked up. “I know. We still have some things to figure out, but I know that I still want her as my mate, even if it means I have to accept this Wanheda foolishness.”

Abby shuddered. Thinking of her daughter as a giant wolf was still a hard concept to understand even though she had seen it with her own eyes. “I won’t lie,” she said, “I still can’t understand it, and watching…watching you change from a wolf back into your own body is something I wish I could unsee, but there is no denying what you are…or were. What you are, I think.” She picked up the book that was on the bedside table.

“Lexa showed me everything that is in here, and it’s hard to deny that you are this Wanheda spirit, or god. I have been doing some of my own research into Wepwawet.”

Clarke wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it, but she asked her mother what she found out about Wepwawet.

“Well,” Abby began, “it is mostly what you heard from Bellamy before. Wepwawet, or now Wanheda, in ancient Egyptian mythology was the opener of ways. As I understand it, Wepwawet scouted for the pharaohs just as Wanheda scouts for Heda ahead of the troops in battle, finding safe passage for them. Wanheda also helps in battle to protect Heda, keeping him or her out of harm’s way.”

“Is that why Wanheda is called the Commander of Death?” Again, Clarke wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.

“Well, that’s probably part of it, and Clarke, please understand that this is all speculation. We don’t know what any of this means yet, but it also sounds like Wanheda helps the dead move on.”

Clarke paled. “You mean like onto their next life? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either, honey. I think we may not until it happens.” Abby looked sympathetically at her daughter.

The omega shook violently in the bed. She was starting to hyperventilate. She couldn’t possibly be expected to help the dead move on. She didn’t want to be near death, and she certainly didn’t want to be the cause of it.

“Clarke you need to calm down.” Abby tried to soothe her daughter with her scent.

“I can’t do this. Please let me out of this room. I need air. Mom, please.” Clarke was begging. “Please.” Clarke was pushing at her covers, trying to extract herself from the bed.

“Wait, honey. Just slow down.” Abby watched helplessly as her daughter began to have a panic attack. “Let me just grab something and I will take to chest tube out. I will need to dress it, and you must let me assess you several times per day to make sure your lung stays clear.”

Clarke started to calm…a little. Abby was just pulling the tube when Lexa walked back in. She dropped what she was carrying when she heard Clarke scream. She growled and charged Abby. “What are you doing to her?”

Abby held the tube up in her hands. “Only what she asked. I took the chest tube out. There’s no way to do it without causing pain.”

Clarke was huffing, trying to catch her breath. “Get me out of this room.” She was still trying to get herself up.

The room flooded with strong alpha pheromones, but not the ones meant to force submission. These were the ones meant to calm. Lexa poured out what she could at Clarke hoping it would help ease the omega’s anxiety.

“Let me help you, niron.” She leaned over and picked up Clarke bridal style and carefully placed her in the wheelchair. She looked at Abby who gazed worriedly at her child. “Abby, I will need a coat for her.”

Abby snapped to attention. “Of course. Let me go get her mine.” She ran out of the room.

“I’ll have you outside in just a few minutes, hodnes. Can you hold on until then?”

“Y-yes.”

“Os (good). When you get tired, I will bring you to my tent. I won’t make you come back in here if you don’t want to.”

“Th-thank you. I can’t spend another minute in here.”

Lexa slowly started to wheel out of the building, figuring Abby would catch up to them. She doubted Clarke would want to stay outside long since it was cold. Even with Abby’s coat, she would be underdressed.

Abby caught them just as they were getting close to the exit. Lexa stopped pushing long enough for them to get the coat on Clarke. She told Abby of the plan to move Clarke to the tent. The older alpha didn’t like it, but after seeing the panic and fear in Clarke’s eyes, she knew she couldn’t subject her daughter to the confines of the Ark for any longer.

While Clarke was distracted trying to put her left arm in the sleeve of the coat, Lexa asked what set Clarke off. 

“I was telling her what I learned about Wepwawet and Wanheda. She didn’t like the part about sending the dead on their way.”

Lexa grimaced. “No, I expect she didn’t.”

Clarke was frowning at them. Of course, she heard everything they said. “I know I need to learn more about this, but I can’t hear any more right now. I need time…I need time to recover and just be human for a while. You two, Gaia, Bell, and Raven can do all the research you want, but for now, I want to remain ignorant of it all. I think I deserve that after everything I have been through.”

“You are right, niron, and it isn’t fair of us to force this on you. We just want you to get better, and we are so very thankful that you have come back to us. It is all we ever dreamed of. You don’t have to be anything that you don’t want to be.”

Abby looked like she wanted to protest, knowing that Clarke couldn’t ignore what she was, but she kept her mouth shut when Lexa gave her a pointed glare. As it was, if she was struggling to accept what had happened to her daughter, she knew that Clarke’s struggle was worse.

Lexa started to roll Clarke outside. “I’ve already had many of Clarke’s things from Polis brought to my tent. Her coat is there, so I will have yours returned as soon as she is done with it.”

“Thank you, Commander.” Abby stayed in the Ark as her daughter was rolled outside.

As soon as she was outside, Clarke took several deep gulps of air, and found that even though she was back to being herself, her sense of smell was still outstanding, as was her eyesight. If she was being honest with herself, while it unnerved her, she was happy to have her strong sense of sight and smell again. She hadn’t realized until then that her senses had been dampened while in the Ark. When Lexa paused in the pushing of her chair, she found that she could still hear very well too. If she focused, she could hear the conversation from the people at the far side enclosure.

She looked around Arkadia. It had been built up some since she had last been there. There was more fencing, and there were more guard towers. It made her angry that the people of the Ark were still trying to make the remains of their space station into a fortress because it meant that they still had an inherent distrust of the grounders.

Everyone stared as Lexa pushed the wheelchair past them. It wasn’t easy to roll the chair on the frozen ground. The omega was thankful there was little snow. She would never have been allowed outside if there had been snow.

Lexa was getting close to the gate when Monty and Jasper came running up to her.

“Clarke, we are so happy you are okay.” Monty moved to give the blonde a hug, but Lexa gave him a warning growl.

“Be gentle,” she cautioned.

Monty slowed his movements and hugged her with exaggerated care. Jasper did as well. Until they hugged her, she hadn’t realized how much she had missed them. 

Monty was the only other omega to have been sent down in the dropship, but he never received the same amount of grief that Clarke had. He was mild mannered and didn’t challenge the status quo. The fact that he provided the delinquents with most of their moonshine probably also had something to do with it. Without him, Jasper would have never been successful at brewing the stuff.

Clarke gave each of them a small smile. “It’s good to see you two. I missed you.”

“We have so much to tell you.” Jasper said.

“Boys,” Lexa said, “do you mind if we do this tomorrow? It’s Clarke’s first time out, and…”

“It’s okay, Lexa.” Clarke insisted.

“No, we get it,” Jasper said. “We really just wanted to come and say hi and let you know that we are so happy you are alive. We love you, Griff.”

This time Clarke gave them a real smile. It was good to see her friends. She is sure she would have seen them earlier but was certain they had been forbidden from visiting. “Where’s Murphy?”

They both pointed. The beta was speaking with Octavia who must have recently gotten back. Clarke cringed when she saw the alpha. As if sensing someone looking at them, they both looked up from their conversation. Octavia smirked, cupped both her hands to her mouth and howled at her. “Aaahwooah.” The alpha then began snickering at her own behavior.

Clarke was gratified when Murphy punched the alpha in the shoulder hard. She thought they were far enough away that Lexa wouldn’t have heard Octavia, but she did, and the alpha was about to charge the younger woman when Clarke grabbed her wrist.

“Don’t, please, not now.”

Lexa growled but relaxed her stance. “As you wish, niron, but I am going to speak with Indra. As soon as they leave Arkadia, she is going to be on latrine duty, and if she does it again, I will not hesitate to let her know exactly what I think of her. I have tolerated her childish behavior for long enough.”

“What the hell is wrong with her?” Jasper asked. “She’s always had it out for you, Clarke.”

“It makes me so mad,” Monty added.

“Thanks guys, but it will work itself out one day.” Clarke said, resigned to the fact that her and Octavia would always have bad blood between them even if she didn’t understand why. She was tired of her feud with the alpha and preferred to ignore O’s antics.

“I say you let Heda rip her head off,” Jasper teased, but Lexa was quite pleased with the idea.

“I would do it if she would allow me.” She leaned over and kissed the top of Clarke’s head. “Do you want to stay out longer, or should we head for the tent?”

“How about a slow roll to the tent. I just want out of Arkadia.” She wasn’t ready to be confined again, not yet.

Once outside the walls of the Ark, Clarke felt better. The tightness in her chest eased, and she felt like she could breathe again. She fingered under her coat and touched the bandage where the chest tube had been. It was wet. She withdrew her hand hoping that she hadn’t made a mistake forcing her mother to take the tube out.

They spotted Indra on their way up the ridge to the Commander’s tent, and Lexa wheeled Clarke over to her. The beta looked up in surprise and offered Clarke a warm smile and a gentle squeeze to her shoulder.

“It is good to see you up again,” Indra said, ruffling the blonde’s hair affectionately. It was something she had taken to doing after she had first started training the omega. Clarke didn’t mind. It was something her father had done when she was little, and it felt like it brought a piece of him back every time Indra did it. 

Clarke looked back toward Arkadia. Octavia was standing at the metal fencing glaring at the interaction between the beta and omega. Lexa and Indra noticed too, and the alpha growled while the beta sighed.

Lexa turned to Indra. “Once she is out of that camp, she is to be on latrine duty for at least two months.”

“What did the branwoda do now?” Indra asked.

“She howled like a wolf when she saw Clarke. I will not have her ridiculing or pestering Clarke every time she sees her. Get it into her thick head that if she pulls a stunt like that again I will exile her to the Dead Zone.”

“Sha, Heda.”

“Lexa, please don’t…”

“Clarke, her behavior needs to be dealt with. You deserve respect, not taunts and jeers.”

“Lex,” Clarke grabbed her hand. “Her upbringing was harder than mine. She’s just acting out.”

“You have excused her behavior before, niron, but I can’t. Not any longer.”

“Fine, then keep her on toilet duty, but please don’t make Indra threaten to banish her. It will only escalate her behavior. She will just get better at hiding it from everyone except me.”

Lexa’s chest rumbled but she gave in. “Indra, hod op (wait/stop).” Indra turned waiting her Heda’s command. “Keep her on latrine duty, but don’t make the threat to banish her. This one,” she tipped her head toward Clarke, “doesn’t want that.”

Indra nodded and went to turn back toward Arkadia again. “Indra,” Lexa called her back one more time. “Send Lincoln on a scouting trip anywhere that will keep him away for a few weeks. Maybe if we take away her favorite toy, Octavia will get it through her thick head that actions have consequences.”

Clarke sagged in her chair. This was only going to make the young alpha’s behavior worse. She kept her mouth shut this time fearing if she said anything else, she would get Octavia into even more trouble. She would never forgive herself if the alpha really did get banished, and even though Bellamy was just as tired of his sister’s behavior as everyone else, he would not want to see her exiled either.

She watched as Indra left and approached her seken (second). She heard Octavia arguing with Indra saying that Clarke was just a mutt now so why couldn’t she howl at her. Indra smacked the alpha’s head, swept her feet from under her, and had her sword at her throat. Clarke looked at Lexa as she watched her War Chief take down the foolish girl. This time they were far enough away that the Commander could only watch. She hadn’t heard what Octavia said.

Clarke could hear Indra growling down at Bellamy’s sister. “You were going to get latrine duty for two months, but after that last comment, it’s three.”

Indra then called Lincoln over to her, never letting up on the sword she had at Octavia’s throat. “I need you to go on a scouting trip for Heda. There have been reports of bandits stealing from the people of Shallow Valley. I need to know who these people are, if they are organized, or if they are just a ragtag group of miscreants. I need to know if Heda needs to step in or if the clan can deal with the issue on their own.”

“Sha, Wormana.” Lincoln bowed.

“No,” Octavia struggled under Indra’s sword. “That will take him away for weeks.”

Lincoln sighed. He knew he was being sent away because of Octavia, but he was beginning to think he didn’t mind. The brash alpha needed to learn to control herself and how to respect others. Whatever petty grudge she was holding against Clarke needed to end, and Octavia wasn’t going to learn if things didn’t start to get harsh for her. He bowed again to Indra and walked away without saying a word to his lover.

Indra moved her sword. “Get up. There are eight new skrish (shit) holes that need to be dug, and ten that need to be emptied out.”

Octavia was going to protest, but Indra barked out “Nau! (now)” and the alpha moved to comply. The angry young alpha looked up where Clarke sat on the ridge and shot her middle finger up at her when no one was looking.

“Can we go inside now?” Clarke asked, ignoring Octavia. “I’m getting cold.”

Once inside the tent, Lexa carefully picked up Clarke and placed her on the bed. The omega moaned in delight to be lying down again. The med bay bed hadn’t been terrible, but there was no denying the Heda’s bed was far more comfortable, and her furs were warmer than the threadbare blanket she’d had. She snuggled under them after Lexa had helped her out of her coat. She took in a large breath of Lexa’s scent. 

After a minute she asked Lexa to help her out of the loose-fitting hospital gown that she had been in for days. Without hesitation, she also had Lexa help her out of the shorts she was wearing.

Lexa hid her blush. “Are you sure?” Clarke nodded. The alpha averted her eyes as the shorts were removed, and then helped her into the nightclothes she had someone bring for Clarke from Polis. “Do you need to sleep, niron?”

“No, I just needed to warm up and get out of that place. I am better now.” She reached over and pulled Lexa to her until the alpha was sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry I panicked. I just needed to get out. I felt like I was suffocating, but being here, in your tent, I feel safe.”

The alpha couldn’t help but smile. “It’s our tent now, not mine,” Lexa corrected, “and I understand your panic. I have barely been able to tolerate it myself, but you are safe here, and there will always be two guards to protect you if I am not here, but I will try to keep that at a minimum.”

“You don’t have to be with me every minute, Lex. I know you have things to do.”

“You are my number one priority. Someone else can take care of the Coalition for a while.”

Clarke shifted closer to the alpha. “We talked about this. You won’t be shirking your responsibility because of me. I won’t allow it. Your people need you.”

Lexa wanted to fight her omega on this, but she didn’t, because as usual, Clarke was right. She would, however, figure out a way to delegate more of her responsibilities while still overseeing things. She needed this time to be with the omega.

“Why don’t you have someone get us some hot food and then read to me? For the first time in days, I actually want to eat,” Clarke announced.

“Your wish is my command, hodnes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is finally out of the Ark, and it seems to be having positive effects already. You can be sure that there are those in Arkadia who are going to try and screw that up.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in less than a week. I hope I can keep it up, but life has a way of getting in the way of what I enjoy most, which is writing. 
> 
> Stay safe out there. It's a crazy world right now.
> 
> Happy reading.

Chapter 10

Clarke woke the next morning feeling better than she had in a very long time. After a long argument with her alpha during their evening meal, she had finally convinced Lexa to sleep in the bed with her that night. After the Commander finally relaxed her rigid posture, they had snuggled up to one another. They had both purred, and Clarke was certain that the close contact had helped her heal better than any medicine her mother had given her. Her thoughts briefly touched upon the fact that they hadn’t resolved everything between them, but she let it go in favor of burrowing closer to Lexa. She had missed human contact, especially Lexa’s. She hadn’t realized just how starved for contact she had been until she was lying in the alpha’s arms.

With minimal struggle, she rolled onto her right side and nuzzled her head into the crook of Lexa’s shoulder. The alpha began to purr again in her sleep. There were still so many things to worry about, but in that moment, being able to snuggle with the alpha, they all fell away. 

She lifted her head when she heard movement in the front section of the tent. She sniffed. Her nose and ears told her everything she needed to know. Two hand maidens were delivering their breakfast, and she smiled when she smelled bacon, eggs, toasted bread, and honey cakes. She also smelled apple juice and black tea. Her mouth began to water. These were all foods she had been offered over the past week and had no desire to eat, but that had changed. Her stomach grumbled. She was ravenous, and she didn’t care if Lexa woke or not, she was getting to that bacon no matter what she did.

Lexa woke to find Clarke half out of bed. The omega was in a hurry to get to her chair, and Lexa wasn’t sure why. She thought she smelled breakfast in the other room. Maybe that was it.

“Hodnes, let me help you.”

“Hurry up,” Clarke said impatiently. “There’s bacon, honey cakes, and apple juice out there, and for the first time in a long time, I want breakfast.”

“How do you know all that is out there?” All Lexa thought she could smell was the bacon.

“I can smell it.”

Lexa was surprised. “How?”

Clarke hesitated to tell her, but if she couldn’t tell Lexa then who could she tell? “I think my senses…from when I was a wolf…are still there. I can smell every single item on the tray out there, and even my eyesight and hearing are better. It’s almost overwhelming.”

“Was it this way when you were in the med bay?”

Clarke thought about it. “No, it’s almost as if I had to get outside.”

Lexa filed that information away to tell Gaia later. She was still planning to meet with the Keyronkepa in the afternoon. Clarke would be exempt from that meeting as she requested. The Commander would respect the omega’s wishes and only tell her what they learned when she requested it. She then helped Clarke into the wheelchair, and it was much easier than it had been just the day before. Clarke was able bear weight through her right leg and pivot to the chair. Lexa didn’t have to lift her. It also didn’t leave Clarke a sweaty, gasping mess. The alpha marveled at how different Clarke was from the previous morning, and she didn’t know if it was attributed to being out of the Ark or to an accelerated healing rate. If Clarke’s senses were still enhanced, then maybe her healing was too. No matter what it was, Lexa was pleased with the progress the omega had made.

She was even more pleased that Clarke seemed to be in better spirits. The omega’s affect had been so flat since they had found her in the cave, and while it was to be expected, it was hard to take. The omega was a positive person by nature. She had been a fighter since the day she had landed in that infernal dropship, and to see her so beaten down had been heartbreaking for the alpha. 

Lexa had Clarke try to wheel the chair herself by pushing the chair forward with her right arm and right leg. The omega struggled because of the soft earth that made up the floor of the tent, but while she may have needed a little help, she got to the front of the tent mostly under her own power.

By the time the blonde got there, there were a few beads of sweat on her brow, but her face transmitted pleasure at having been able to do something mostly by herself.

Lexa filled a cup with the juice and handed it to the omega. Clarke drank it fast and asked for another. She refilled the cup, but this time she advised Clarke to drink it slowly so that she could enjoy it. The blonde listened and took small sips. Lexa took the time to fill Clarke’s plate for her, making sure to put most of the bacon on it. She only saved one piece for herself knowing she could get more later, and she grinned stupidly as Clarke wolfed down her food. She then frowned at her unintended pun even if it was just a thought in her head.

Lexa ate more slowly, enjoying watching her omega eat with vigor. Over the week, Clarke had lost some weight, so she was pleased that it seemed her appetite was back.

When Clarke finished her plate, she looked at Lexa’s. “Are you going to finish that?” She was pointing at a piece of toast. Lexa handed it over, more than happy to give it to her.

“You are meeting with Gaia today,” Clarke stated more than asked. 

“Sha. We want to see if we can figure more stuff out about what happened to you and what it means. Are you sure you don’t want to attend?”

“I can’t…not yet. I need time, Lex, to decompress and just be me for a while…and today is the first day that I feel like me…or mostly like me except with better perception. I can hear everything going on out there. In fact, I can tell you that my mom will be here in about a minute. She’s walking up here with Bellamy and Raven. She’s making them carry all her medical supplies.” Clarke sighed then. “I guess it’s time for my check up.”

Lexa was floored when just as predicted Abby came into the tent with the other two. She had not heard their approach until they were just outside the tent. For a minute, Lexa envied her. It would give her a huge advantage to have such excellent hearing, but she thought back to when Clarke said it was almost overwhelming. She imagined that Clarke was straining to drown out the extraneous noises.

“You’re up,” the trio said in unison, surprised to see Clarke sitting in her wheelchair at the table. Her mom smiled when she said, “and you have eaten.”

Raven walked up to the omega and gave her a careful hug. “Nice wheels,” the alpha teased.

Bellamy followed. Abby kissed the crown of the blonde’s head while checking her temperature with a hand on her forehead.

“How are you feeling?” Abby wondered.

“Better, now that I am out of that tin can.”

“How’s your pain?” The doctor asked. 

“It’s minimal right now. The chest tube site hurts more than anything else.” She grimaced when she touched the site.

Without preamble, Abby lifted the side of Clarke’s nightshirt and inspected the dressing Lexa had replaced the night before. She raised her eyebrows when she found it had no drainage on it. “I expected this to be saturated,” she admitted. Clarke shrugged her shoulders.

“How does your leg feel under the cast?”

The omega wiggled the leg. “Itchy.”

Abby knelt in front of Clarke and had her move her hip in every direction that it could. She then pulled off the sock Lexa had put over the end of the cast earlier to keep the blonde’s toes warm. She inspected the cast and put her fingers under the rim of it.

“It’s too big now. It was swollen when Eric and I put the cast on. It should still be swollen, but it doesn’t seem like it is.” She looked up at Clarke. “I know you don’t want to, but you may need to come back so I can remove the cast and rescan the bones. I think there’s a good chance you won’t need another one, not if your bones are healing as quickly as everything else.”

Abby stood back up. “Would you mind getting back into bed so I can look at the rest of your injuries?”

Clarke frowned but turned her wheelchair to head to the back of the tent. Abby pushed the chair while Lexa stayed up front to speak with Bellamy and Raven.

Abby made Clarke get into the bed just to see if she could do it, and when Clarke did, Abby took her through the paces. All bandages were removed, and the omega was forced to move her left arm and leg through every possible plane of motion Abby could think of. Clarke’s hip was feeling much better, but moving her arm hurt like hell; mostly because any movement pulled at the wound in her chest. As it was, Clarke had full range of her hip back, but not her shoulder. Her left arm remained weak, but everyone was surprised at how well Clarke was doing.

When Abby was finished, the omega refused to stay in bed and got back into the chair. She also refused to go back to the Ark. She was eager to get the scratchy cast off her leg, but she wasn’t going back into the Ark for that to happen. Raven informed her that the cast saw was cordless, so Abby could come back and remove the cast later. The doctor wasn’t happy with this because she wanted Clarke to have the x-ray, but she wasn’t going to force her daughter back inside. She promised Clarke that she would be back later to remove the cast and do a manual exam instead.

“Hodnes,” Lexa said, moving to her side. “I have some things I need to deal with before I meet up with Gaia, would you like to come with me until then?”

“No,” Clarke shook her head. “I want to go outside for a while.” She looked at Raven. “Maybe Raven can push me around for a bit?”

“Griff, I wish I could, but I promised Sinclair I would help him with the rover today.”

“Oh.” Clarke was disappointed, but just then, Anya entered the tent.

“I will take you, strik prisa (little princess). It would be my pleasure.” Anya gave her a rare smile.

“Griff, hang on a minute, if Abby can stay here for a few minutes, I can run and get the cast saw. That way we can get that thing off your leg and you can put on a proper pair of pants.”

Abby agreed to stay for a few more minutes. “I’ll be back in a snap,” Raven called over her shoulder as she ran to get the saw.

When Raven returned, both Lexa and Anya growled as the cast was cut off. Even though Raven and Abby assured them that the saw would not cut Clarke’s skin, they didn’t believe her. It took physically holding the saw against their skin to make them believe her. Anya had jumped so high at the sensation that it had Clarke laughing for the first time in forever. 

She clutched at her side when she was done but said, “Thanks, I needed that, even if it did hurt.”

When the cast was off, Abby quickly cleaned the sweaty skin then proceeded to poke and prod at the leg. There was still a wound where the arrow had penetrated the leg, but it was healing remarkably well. “Tell me if any of this hurts,” she demanded of Clarke.

“Ah, stop,” Clarke yelled when Abby hit a sore spot. Lexa had to hold her hands behind her back to stop herself from grabbing the doctor.

“That should have sent you through the roof, so I think it’s safe to say that your bone is healing…astonishingly fast, I might add. You don’t need to be re-casted, I think, but you need to promise me you will keep the weight off it.”

“I’ll do whatever I need to keep out of that cast.”

Before Abby left, she gave Clarke more exercises to do with her arm and leg, and she asked Anya, since she was going to be with the omega for a while, to do strengthening exercises for Clarke’s right side. She didn’t want the omega getting weak due to lack of use.

Anya grinned wickedly. “I have plenty of exercises I can take her through. It’s how we get our gona (warriors) back into fighting shape after battle injuries.”

Clarke groaned.

They were deep in the forest when Anya stopped pushing the chair. Ryder and a guard named Stryker were with them. Gustus, of course, had gone with Lexa.

“See that tree there?” Anya pointed ahead of her. “I want you to grab that branch and pull yourself into standing, and don’t forget to keep the weight out of your bad leg.”

“Thanks, nomon,” Clarke teased, “as if I could have forgotten.”

Clarke reached over head and pulled herself up. It was harder than she thought it would be, but mostly because the branch was high, forcing her to keep her arm above her head.

“Good, now just stand there,” Anya directed.

Clarke stood there, on one leg for five minutes before saying, “Can I sit down now?”

“No.”

After five more minutes she asked again, getting the same response. Her arm was beginning to shake. “Come on, Ahn. I’m getting tired.”

“Fine,” the alpha huffed. “You can sit for two minutes, but then you are getting up again.”

This was just one of the tortuous exercises Anya took her through and Clarke griped through it all, but instead of getting grumpy, it made her feel better. Being outside with her fos was helping to improve her mood. Something about being with the alpha centered her. Maybe it was because after the disastrous start they had to their relationship (she had burned 300 of Anya’s men, after all) the alpha had become one of her dearest friends and closest confidants.

As morning rolled into afternoon, Clarke’s stomach growled, and Anya chuckled. “I guess your appetite really is back.”

Clarke hushed her and tipped her head. “There are two rabbits about three hundred meters from here. There’s another one a little further than that. They could be lunch,” Clarke said hopefully. She enjoyed rabbit, just not when she had to kill it with her own teeth.

Anya narrowed her eyes at Clarke. “How do you know that?” Ryder and Stryker were curious as well.

“Leftover wolf abilities, I guess.” The omega’s stomach growled again. “Are you going to go get them?” She asked impatiently.

“It’s lucky you’re hurt because otherwise I would make you hunt and skin them yourself.” 

Anya stepped away with Ryder to hunt the rabbits after Clarke pointed them in the correct direction. Stryker moved closer to the omega, taking up a protective stance. The man was large, not as large as Gustus, but not far off either. She inspected the scars on his face.

“You are from Azgeda,” Clarke said, surprised that Lexa trusted somebody from the Ice Nation with her protection.

The man dipped his head. “I may be from Azgeda, but I am Trikru now. I have served Heda since the day she won her conclave.”

Clarke didn’t recall ever seeing the man before, however, just because she hadn’t didn’t mean that he hadn’t served Lexa in other ways. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t pry,” Clarke apologized. “It’s just that I have never seen you before.”

“You wouldn’t have. I am only called in when special protection is needed.”

Clarke thought about this. “So, you are one of the heavy hitters?” When he didn’t understand, she rephrased. “You are one of the elites?”

He tipped up one corner of his mouth. “You could say that.”

“Am I to be your permanent assignment?” She wondered.

“As far as I know, yes.”

Clarke sighed. She knew when she woke up in the med bay that Lexa would always have her guarded, but she didn’t think she would be bringing in the special forces. 

“Have you been guarding me since I got back?”

“Sha.”

“How did Thelonius Jaha get in to see me then?” Clarke wasn’t angry, she just wanted to know.

“An unfortunately timed bathroom break and a guard unworthy of working for his Heda.” The man looked remorseful. “He has been relieved of his post. It will be me and Ryder that you see most. Your nighttime guards…let’s just say they are good at sticking to the shadows. You will never know they are there.”

Now Clarke was even more curious. “What are their names?”

“I am sorry, Wanheda, I do not know their names.”

“Don’t call me that.” Clarke groused.

“Of course, Clarke kom Skaikru.”

The blonde threw her head back and stared at the sky. “Don’t call me that either. Skaikru are not my people. Not anymore, no matter what the Council says. Just call me Clarke…please.”

“Of course, Clarke.”

A little while later Anya and Ryder came back with the rabbits. They roasted them over the fire and the two guards and Anya made Clarke eat her fill before digging into the food themselves. 

“Are you letting me eat first because you kicked my ass with all those exercises?”

The guards said nothing, and Anya shrugged. “Did Lexa tell you to do this?” Clarke asked instead.

Again, Ryder and Stryker said nothing. Anya purposefully sucked on a bone so that she didn’t have to answer.

“Damnit, I don’t want to be coddled or spoiled. I just want to be treated like anyone else.”

Anya took the bone out of her mouth and threw it in the fire. “But you aren’t anyone else.”

Clarke growled. “If you say it’s because I am Wanheda…”

“It isn’t that. You came back from the dead, or at least that’s what it feels like, and Heda, well it nearly destroyed her thinking you were gone. It nearly destroyed all of us, but not like it did her.” The bone hissed and popped in the fire. “Indulge her in these things for a while. She lost you once, and she’s terrified that she’s going to lose you again.”

Clarke’s eyes welled up. It had been a hard three months, but it had been hard on everyone else as well, especially Lexa. She huffed. She imagined that Octavia was probably the only one who hadn’t been affected at all. She had probably danced a jig thinking the omega was dead. She wondered how it was that Bellamy was so kind-hearted and pure while Octavia was so angry and entitled. Her upbringing was harsh, but she didn’t have to take her anger out on Clarke.

Suddenly Clarke was happy to have her guards. She had a feeling the young Skai alpha was planning revenge on her for her toilet duty and for Lincoln being sent away. She knew the alpha would blame her, and not her own behavior, for the punishment she had received.

Anya stood. “Clarke, we need to head back. I promised Lexa I would be at her meeting with Gaia.”

Clarke allowed herself to be pushed back toward the grounder camp, but when they got near, Clarke wasn’t ready to go inside. Instead, after Anya had left, she got Ryder to push her so that she could look over at where the Ark had crashed.

It was still stark and depressing, but she smiled when she saw some of the delinquents kicking a ball around one of the empty plots that would be turned into a farm field in the spring. The group was laughing. The boys shoved at each other, and the girls took advantage of them horsing around to steal the ball. It was a game between the boys and the girls, and the girls were winning. 

She enjoyed watching the kids getting to be playful. There was never a chance to play on the Ark. Not really. She wondered which grounder gave them the ball.

“Does it make you unhappy that you aren’t down there with them?” Stryker asked. 

“No, quite the opposite. It makes me happy to see them enjoying themselves. We didn’t get to do that when we first landed, and there were no balls to play with up in space.”

“From what I have heard,” Ryder added, “most of those children don’t like you, yet you are still happy for them. It’s what sets you apart from the rest of your people. You have a generous and kind soul, and you haven’t let past events affect that.”

“If I were to let past events affect me, I would have dug myself a hole a long time ago and never come out.”

“Most would do the same. It is what makes you strong,” Stryker observed.

“If you say so.” Clarke turned her attention back to the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't let this almost fluffy chapter fool you. There are a couple of rough ones coming up.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support, comments, and kudos. I can't tell you how much means to me.

Chapter 11

Two weeks went by, and Clarke was finally back up on her feet. Everyone marveled at her speedy recovery. She couldn’t help but attribute that swiftness to the wolf part of her. Since getting out of the Ark two weeks ago, her senses had remained honed, and her appetite had exploded. She felt like she was constantly wanting to eat, and Anya was always teasing her about it. Raven, however, delighted in it. She wasn’t called the Ravenous Raven for nothing. The alpha had an unequaled appetite until Clarke’s had exploded. More than once she challenged Clarke to an eating contest. The alpha had won once, in the beginning, but now Clarke could eat her under the table.

Her longing, or maybe it was a need, to be near Lexa had remained, and the alpha seemed to be feeling the same way. After her initial refusal to even learn about Wanheda, she had come to accept who she was, and she was spending more and more time with Gaia. From Gaia she learned that she and Lexa would always be drawn together, and now that Clarke was Wanheda, any extended amount of time apart would be almost unbearable.

Clarke wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She loved Lexa, and she didn’t want to be away from her, but what if something happened that drew them apart again? 

Gaia assured her that once the spirits of Heda and Wanheda were entwined by mating, there wouldn’t be anything that could tear them apart. 

“So, all of this hinges on us mating?” Clarke asked, now feeling like her mating with Lexa was being forced upon her. It was early morning and already Gaia had her learning more about herself. The other omega was constantly trying to get Clarke to tap into her new powers.

The slim omega smiled at Clarke. “Do you love Lexa?”

“Of course, I do.” Clarke answered.

“Even after what happened that day?”

“Yes, we’ve worked that out since then, and we have moved on from it.” Clarke had been adamant that she and Lexa finally talk about what had happened the day everything had fallen apart. It was before Clarke was walking again, and Lexa had put her in a cart, much to her initial humiliation, and used a horse to draw them deep into the woods. 

They had spent the day hashing out their problems, and a few other things between them. It had led to tears and anger, but then understanding and forgiveness. It then led to kissing and cuddling under a blanket as snow gently fell above them. It was the first time that Clarke had actively kissed Lexa since she had been discovered in the woods. Until then, it was always Lexa giving her little kisses and pecks. They had both melted into one another, but they hadn’t gone beyond the kissing. Clarke wasn’t ready for more than that just yet, and Lexa respected her wishes.

Gaia brought her out of her memories of that day when she asked, “And you wanted to mate with Heda before that day?”

“With all my heart,” Clarke responded. 

“Then why do you feel like this pairing is being forced? You were always meant to be. From the moment you met you were drawn to each other.”

“Yes, but I’m different now.” Clarke may have accepted who she was, but that didn’t mean she was comfortable with it, and she still feared she would one day turn back into the giant pakstoka (wolf). 

“You are not different. You have always been Wanheda. Things just had to align for that part of you to come forth.”

Clarke had read everything she could about Wanheda and Wepwawet, and she had no doubt that the two were one in the same. She wondered if that meant Lexa was a descendant of one of the great pharaohs; maybe Namar who unified all of Egypt just as Lexa had the clans, or Cleopatra who was known for her intelligence. Perhaps Lexa was related to Amenhotep who was known for his artistry (Clarke snickered at that. Lexa didn’t have an artistic bone in her body), or maybe Lexa was related to the pharaoh Ramses III. He was cunning in battle and won three great wars ensuring peace and tranquility for his people. This was exactly what Lexa was, or at least who she was trying to be. 

Heda had strived since the day she won her conclave to bring peace to her people, and she had fought strategic battles to form the Coalition. All the clans had joined, albeit one didn’t come so willingly. Azgeda had fought tooth and nail to remain autonomous, but the Ice Queen, Nia, had eventually joined after she saw how prosperous the trade between clans was. 

The Azplana (Ice Queen) was known as a brutal and harsh ruler, however, Lexa knew that much of her harsh nature was due to having to run a nation that spent much of the year under ice and snow. Until the formation of the Coalition, Azgeda had relied on stealing from its neighbors to make ends meet. Men who were strong enough to survive the intense winters in the Ice Nation made fierce and powerful warriors, and often, the neighboring villages they visited were ransacked and burned to the ground by the men.

Ice Nation was doing what it needed to survive, but Lexa was endeavoring to change their ways. She knew if Azgeda could have just a couple of years where they didn’t have to fight to survive the winter that Nia would come to her senses and not fight every decision Heda tried to make.

“What are you thinking of strik pakstoka (little wolf)?” Gaia and many of the others had started calling Clarke that, and she much preferred it to Wanheda. “You are distracted today.”

“I was thinking about what we have learned about the ancient pharaohs and the Ice Nation.”

Gaia raised her eyebrows. “Two very different things.”

“Yes. I was mostly wondering if Lexa could be related to one of the pharaohs, and if she is, which one would she be?”

Gaia’s eyes widened. “That is certainly an interesting question. One that will never have an answer.”

Clarke sighed. “I know, but it’s fun to think about.”

“How about we turn those thoughts off for a while? I want you to practice your introspection. You need to become one with your wolf, and I think the best way to do that is to clear your mind and meditate.”

Clarke hated her meditation exercises. Gaia was constantly telling her that she and the wolf were one and the same, but Clarke felt like the wolf was a separate part of her. Therefore, Gaia had taken to calling it ‘her wolf’ even though she thought Clarke was the wolf.

She had been encouraging this because Clarke needed to be able to change at will. Until the blonde fully embraced who she was, she would always fear the wolf. She needed to learn it and become it. She needed to master changing into it and back into herself again, and she needed to learn how to do more than just survive as it. 

Gaia suspected it was why Clarke had become so depressed while stuck in the wolf’s body. She had only been surviving. She hadn’t been living.

“Do we have to?” Clarke whined.

Gaia ignored her. She crossed her legs, made herself comfortable then glared at Clarke until she took up the same position.

“Os (good), now use the techniques I have taught you to clear your mind.”

Clarke did. She was getting better at it. Gaia would then try to gently direct Clarke’s thoughts until she felt like she was connecting with the part of her that was the wolf. Clarke could do this too, but as soon as she felt her skin beginning to pulse and twitch, she gasped and opened her eyes, fearing that she was about to change back into the beast.

“You need to let it happen, Clarke.” Gaia griped.

“I can’t. I just can’t, not yet. Maybe I will feel different about it after Lexa and I have mated.”

Even with her conflicting thoughts, Clarke was finally becoming excited to mate with Lexa. She had been excited before, but that was a day she wanted to forget about. Her heat was fast approaching, and this time she knew Lexa wouldn’t fail her. In less than a week, the two would be heading to a secret cabin in Trikru that only Heda and her guards knew about. This time the omega trusted Lexa to follow through with her promises. She had been present when the Commander wrote a letter to Titus informing him that she would be spending a couple of weeks with Clarke before they returned to Polis. Anya was to return to the capitol and help Aden and two of the other nightbloods run Polis during her absence. It wasn’t exactly what Clarke and Lexa had talked about doing before, but the omega knew that Lexa couldn’t be missing from Polis for too long. The alpha promised that one day soon they would get their alone time. 

Clarke wasn’t worried. Over the past couple of weeks, they had solidified their bond, and their mating would only make it stronger. What she was worried about was Jaha. His return had raised tensions among those in Arkadia. He was vying to become Chancellor again, and he was riling up the alphas; making them remember the old ways where they reigned supreme and all others bowed to them.

In this time, his son, Wells, started to fight against his ideas. He, and a few others, had finally come to realize just how good it was on the ground. While Thelonius was rallying the adults to his side, Wells was gathering more support from the delinquents. He even had the support of Callie Cartwig, Abby (of course), and several of the other, more open-minded grown-ups. 

Wells wasn’t fighting to become Chancellor. They had a fair Chancellor in Marcus Kane, but he was fighting for equality of all the citizens from the Ark, and he had made a special effort to become friends with Clarke.

He had gone out of his way to apologize for his actions in the past. He hadn’t been horrible to Clarke up on the Ark, but he hadn’t stopped any of the others when they called her names or bullied her either. He also apologized profusely for his father’s actions. He knew his father was a tyrant (and that he was responsible for the death of Clarke’s father), but he’d been helpless to stop the oppression of the people on the Ark. 

After this, people like Finn, Harper, Zoe, Fox, and Gina all started making an effort to include Clarke when she was down by the Ark to have meals or getting some air as she healed (she still refused to step foot in the place). They had even invited her to play in one of their ball games which of course she had to decline because she wasn’t quite ready to run around yet. 

Others, like Dax, Atom, Diggs, and Trina remained the same. They were as cruel as they had always been, and they taunted her with wolf whistles. They barked at her like a dog, and even threw a crudely made dog collar at her one day. Clarke was fairly certain Octavia put them up to this, and she had to make both Indra and Anya swear not to tell Lexa what they had done knowing if the Commander ever found out she would skin the teens alive.

Overall, however, things were getting better for Clarke. She was nearly back to her old self, and aside from the taunts from those who had always taunted her (the insults were just different ones now), she was feeling happier. She had even gone back to trying to broker an improved alliance between the Ark and the Coalition. Marcus was pleased that she would be mating with Lexa soon knowing it would strengthen the ties between the two factions, and he was trying, he really was, to find common ground for everyone to stand on. Clarke couldn’t help but marvel at how much the man had changed in the time that she had been gone.

She didn’t know this, but he had even used his power of veto (the first time it had ever been used in the history of the Ark) to vote down a resolution that the Council had agreed upon to banish Clarke from ever stepping foot in the Ark again. The Council had met in secret in order to keep Abby out of the proceedings. They feared Clarke now, all while calling her an abomination. They worried about whatever power she might hold at the same time as doubting her new ability. It infuriated the Chancellor.

Marcus, who was finally taking the time to get learn about grounder customs, also took the time to speak with Clarke when he visited Lexa’s camp on the ridge. Heda had even allowed him to read what they had about Wanheda, and the man couldn’t fight his fascination on the topic. He was the one to steer Clarke to the archived files that the Ark had on ancient Egypt. He had been meeting with Lexa daily to try and get something together that all their people could agree upon. Yes, they had had an alliance before, but there were those that were attempting to undermine it because Clarke was not yet mated, and because of their new fear of her. They felt it nullified the previous agreement, and Marcus had to continually remind them that the mating would be taking place soon. He also reminded them that if they took any action against Clarke, the Commander and her army would probably decimate them within a day.

Gaia and Clarke had had to move their session inside when it started to snow. A new development was that Clarke seemed to be getting more cold-tolerant than she was before, in fact, she had hated the cold in the past. The Ark had always been chilly, but in solitary it had been downright cold, and with only a threadbare blanket to keep warm, the omega had never been comfortable. Over that past week or so, Clarke noticed that she didn’t mind the cold so much. 

It was Gaia’s shivering that alerted her to the fact that it was getting too chilly to continue outside.

“It would appear that enhanced senses and healing aren’t the only thing to manifest since your change.” Gaia pointed out. 

Clarke rolled her eyes. She was more than happy to not feel the cold like the others, but she wanted to stop changing. She still wanted to be normal even though she knew that was now just a pipe dream. “Greeaat.”

Lexa walked in at that moment. “I thought you would be outside, ai hodnes. The snow is beautiful.”

She slid her gaze to Gaia. “The Keyronkepa got cold.” 

Lexa looked at the shivering omega then smirked as Clarke shucked off her coat, sweat beading at her temple. “I have noticed, niron, that you seem to run a bit…warmer these days.” She stirred the coals in the brazier and directed Gaia to move closer to them.

“Don’t you think it’s strange that these things aren’t happening at the same time? I mean why now am I suddenly able to handle the cold?” Clarke wondered.

Gaia turned from where she was warming her hands. “It could just be that you needed time, or perhaps it is because you are more open to what you are.”

“If you say so.” Clarke was suddenly getting antsy. She felt like her skin was tight, and the heat in the tent was stifling her. “It’s already hot in here,” she griped when Gaia stirred the coals again.

Lexa walked over to her and pulled her into an embrace. The alpha rubbed her nose up and down Clarke’s neck and took a deep breath. “Your heat is arriving soon, niron. I have a feeling that is part of why you are so uncomfortable.”

“Fuck. It’s coming too early. There are still things we need to take care of.” She started to pace the floor.

“There’s nothing more important than you, and that means we will leave tomorrow morning. I plan on spoiling you over the next two weeks.” Lexa did her best to calm the now agitated omega.

“I need to let my mom know. I don’t want to go in there, but I know she will be in the medical wing.” Even though she was hot, Clarke put on her coat. She didn’t want to catch a chill on the walk to Arkadia. 

“I’ll accompany you,” Lexa offered. 

“No, that’s okay. I know you have things to do. Ryder and Stryker will be with me, and Mom told me she wanted to do a thorough exam on me before I went anyway, so I might be a while. I’ll try not to be too long though.”

She kissed Lexa and thanked Gaia for everything then began the walk down the ridge toward the remains of the Ark, her guards only a few feet behind her. She was dreading going inside. If she had her way, she would never go back in, but it would be easier than sending for her mother, and it would be simpler for her mom to do the tests in the actual medical bay than inside the tent.

When the gates opened, several of her friends greeted her, and Raven walked her partway to her destination. The alpha chatted to her excitedly about her budding relationship with Anya, and it helped distract the omega from the claustrophobic feeling she was starting to have. It was strange, as soon as she was back in the Ark, it felt like her senses were dulled again. It wasn’t so bad that they were ‘normal’ but they did feel muted. What was it about the Ark that it hampered her senses? She was about to ask Raven her thoughts, but the mechanic had reached where she was going and said her goodbyes. Clarke made sure to file the question away for later. 

She stopped for a few minutes when she saw Monty giving some of the youngest residents of the Ark a lesson in farming in one of the classrooms. He had grown up on Farm station and was a whiz when it came to plant propagation. If Clarke could get him with some of the farmers from Trikru she bet that come fall, Skaikru would have a bountiful harvest. He noticed her standing there and waved. He smiled but went back to his class.

She turned and walked the rest of the halls in silence. She couldn’t even hear Ryder or Stryker behind her. Their presence was practically invisible.

“Hey guys,” she said when she got to the door. “Do you mind waiting out here? My mom’s going to be doing a few tests and it requires me to, ah, strip down. I’d rather it be just me and her.”

They both nodded and took up positions on either side of the door.

She walked in and called for her mother, going deeper into the room. It was brightly lit as usual, but she didn’t spy her mother anywhere. One of the curtains was pulled and she saw feet underneath, so she headed that way. Doctor Jackson came out.

“Hey, Jackson. Where’s my mom?”

Sad brown eyes looked at her. “Clarke, I’m sorry.”

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and before she could turn around, a set of hands was grabbing her from behind, pinning her wrists at her sides. When she went to yell for her guards, a different hand covered her mouth.

“If you scream, I will be forced to sedate you, Clarke, and I really don’t want to do that.” Clarke knew that voice.

She stopped struggling and looked into the eyes of her nemesis as he came around to face her. “What the fuck is this, Jaha?” She spewed when he released her mouth. Her wrists were still pinned at her sides by an unknown assailant.

“This is me taking care of a situation.” He motioned to a trembling Jackson who handed him a clearish angular disk. It had a broken infinity symbol on it. It was small and fit easily in the palm of his hand.

“Wh-what is that?” Clarke was trying to rein in her fear. Something bad was about to happen.

“It’s a solution to our problem.” He held the disk up to the light. “Marcus and your mother seem to think having you mate with the Commander of the grounders is a good thing for us, and I don’t disagree, but if what they are saying is true, and you are this Wanheda,” he spit the word Wanheda out like it left a nasty taste in his mouth, “then there is a problem. There’s no doubt that their Heda is the most powerful alpha on the ground. If the spirit of Wanheda truly exists, then I cannot allow your pairing to happen. It will give them too much power over us.”

Clarke scoffed. “They already have all the power over you. One word and Lexa could flatten this place in a day.”

“Ah, but you wouldn’t allow that, would you.” He was still staring at the chip in his hand. “You have been making friends, and your mother and Raven still live here. Would you risk their getting hurt? Would you really let your alpha come here with her army and kill all the people you have been fighting so hard for?”

“If you hurt me, it won’t matter. Lexa will destroy you.” Clarke was beginning to growl. She could feel her skin beginning to twitch, and her hands and feet were burning. A quick look at her elongating fingernails told her she was starting to change whether she liked it or not.

“Quick, Commander Shumway, hold her down. Jackson open her mouth.”

She struggled to get out of Shumway’s grasp, but his grip was like iron. Jackson grabbed the hair at the back of her neck, forcing her head back. 

“Eric don’t do this…please,” she begged.

“I’m sorry, Clarke, they have Nathan. I can’t lose him.”

He pulled harder and Clarke went to scream. As soon as her mouth was open, Jaha forced the chip into it. He then clamped her jaw shut, holding her mouth and nose closed until she swallowed.

Tears were streaming down her face.

“What did you just do to me?” She almost fell when Shumway finally let her go.

“It’s a thing of beauty. I found it on my travels through the dead zone.” Jaha ignored her question.

“Answer me.” All the twitching and burning Clarke had felt ceased. The only thing she felt now was fear.

Thelonius Jaha smiled evilly.

“That chip you swallowed; it took away what makes you you. Give it a few minutes, and you will feel it.”

Clarke didn’t understand. She was shaking her head.

“Your omega is gone, Clarke, and without it, so is that supposed spirit. You’re nothing now, and no longer will you be a thorn in the Council’s side.”

“That’s impossible. You can’t take away someone’s designation. That would be like trying to turn someone’s blue eyes green. It can’t be done.”

“Apparently it can, because I have been blasting you with dominant pheromones for the last thirty seconds, and you haven’t even been aware of it. Shumway has been too.”

Clarke scented the air and detected nothing. “No…please, why would you do this?” She looked desperately to each man. Shumway and Jaha looked smug, Jackson looked exactly as fearful as she did.

“I already told you. We need to keep the scales balanced until we find a way to tip them in our favor, and I can’t have you running around and making more trouble for us.”

Even as he was speaking, Clarke could feel her senses beginning to dull. She needed to get away from him and get outside. Her senses would be better if she was outside. She knew it.

“You know that if you keep me alive, I will tell Lexa. She will kill you now,” Clarke threatened.

“She won’t because you won’t be telling her.” He produced a case and opened it. It was full of chips. “If you tell her, I will start giving these to all your friends, and then they will be nothing, just like you. I have hundreds of these, Clarke. All I have to do is find a way to convince people to take them…maybe tell them that it will take away all their pain. I might even be able to find a way to force one into your alpha. What would happen if the strongest alpha alive were to suddenly come up powerless?”

The ramifications would be devastating. The Coalition would fall apart. “Lexa will know. If my omega is gone, she will know immediately.”

“That’s where our good friend, Doctor Jackson comes in.”

Eric had tears in his eyes, and his hands were shaking. He had a hydraulic syringe gun in his hand. 

“Inside that is an implant that will simulate your hormones. Your body will still think it’s going into heat, and to everyone around you, you will still smell like and omega, but you…you won’t sense any of it…except maybe the symptoms of your pseudo-heat. There’s no term for a person like you, Clarke. You’re just a husk now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now the title of this fic probably makes more sense. Jaha and his damn chip. The man is evil, and I am happy to consider what ways you think should be used to end him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in less than two days. I was going to wait to post this until Sunday, but didn't want to keep you all hanging until then. 
> 
> I know the last chapter created a bit of a stir, and I won't lie, this one is heavy too, but the end is worth it. 
> 
> Just like the title says, what happened to Clarke is just an interruption, and she will be back in all her glory by the end of this chapter.
> 
> To all of you who left comments and kudos last chapter, I thank you. I expected a backlash, but didn't really get one.

Chapter 12

Clarke left the medical wing with her head hanging. Jaha had her trapped. She was damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. If she told Lexa what he had done, she would decimate the Sky people. If she didn’t, she’d have to keep her new, terrible secret that she was now just a husk; a shell of who she was just an hour before. She also couldn’t ignore the fact that he had hundreds more of those chips, and he could do to others what he had done to her. With how she was already feeling, she couldn’t let that happen to someone else.

She trudged out of the Ark feeling empty. Scents that had always filled the air were gone. Colors that had been vibrant were dull, and she feared that even the things she loved to eat would be tasteless now too. Her senses hadn’t disappeared, but they were less than what they should have been, even before she had turned into Wanheda. 

She said nothing to her guards as the followed behind her. Surely, they knew something was wrong, but it wasn’t their place to ask.

Jaha had given her time to collect herself after he assured her that her mother was alright. Abby was attending to several patients who mysteriously got a bad case of food poisoning. When pressed on how he even knew Clarke had returned to the Ark, he simply said that he had eyes everywhere.

The man had been smart, and he had played his game perfectly. Threatening to do to others what he had just done to her was enough to ensure her silence. She’d never allow it to happen to anyone else if she could help it. Already she was feeling the devastating effects of losing her omega. Husk was a perfect word for her. Everything that she was had been nullified when he forced that chip down her throat and now, she was just an empty shell.

When she was finally outside, she took a deep breath. The crisp clean smell of snow and ice didn’t even register, and Clarke had to hold back her tears. Her hope that things would be better once she was outside died. She didn’t know how she was going to hold it together when she saw Lexa. The implant they had injected into her wouldn’t give out for at least six months. At least, that’s what they said, so Lexa probably wouldn’t detect anything different about her, not at first, but how was Clarke going to hide what had happened for that long?

As she walked toward the ridge, she began to fear what would happen if Lexa ever did find out. Clarke knew her first reaction would be anger, and she would act upon that. There would be nothing to stop her killing every member of Skaikru, but after that, Clarke would still be nothing. Would Lexa still love her, knowing that she was no longer an omega, no longer anything? 

By the time she reached the tent, her chin was practically resting on her chest. She took a deep breath, scenting the air, but had no way of knowing if Lexa was inside. She couldn’t smell the spicy rich scent that was her alpha, and her heart cracked a little at this knowledge. A gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her progress.

“Are you okay strik pakstoka? You don’t seem like yourself.” Ryder asked.

“I’m fine. The tests took more out of me than I thought they would.” She faked a smile. “I just need a nap and then I will be fine.”

She didn’t miss the look Ryder gave Stryker. She entered the tent and let out the breath she hadn’t known she had been holding when she realized Lexa wasn’t there. She was alone, and she couldn’t be more grateful. She was not ready to face Lexa yet.

She stripped out of her clothing and down to her underclothes. The cold that she was recently becoming resistant to bit into her. At least she could feel that because she couldn’t feel anything else. She crawled under the furs on the bed, wishing for sleep to take her but knowing it would not.

She’d been staring at the same tear in the fabric of the tent for an hour when Lexa strode in. The alpha was grinning. She’d obviously had a productive morning. She stirred the coals in the brazier before shucking off her coat. Only then did she notice Clarke hunkering under the furs.

“Hodnes, what are you doing in bed?” Lexa was by her side in an instant. “Are you unwell?”

“No, I’m tired. This heat; it’s hit me harder than I expected.”

It was only a half lie. Whatever drugs were coursing through her body were making her uncomfortable and edgy.

Heda leaned down and kissed the blonde’s head. “What can I do to help you, niron?”

She bit back a sob. There was nothing Lexa could do to help her. That’s what she wanted to say. “You could hold me for a while,” she said instead.

Lexa kicked off her boots and climbed in behind Clarke. She pulled her close and started to purr. Even with all the tumultuous emotions turning her stomach to acid, Clarke was still able to find comfort in being held by the alpha. She pushed herself back until she was fully engulfed by the woman and let herself be soothed, even if she felt the distinct lack of pheromones that she was sure were pouring off the alpha.

After a few minutes she finally dozed off. When she woke again, the sun was just dipping below the horizon. Lexa was still beside her, reading a book.

“Did you have a peaceful nap, niron?” Lexa wondered.

Clarke hadn’t dreamed, so she guessed it was peaceful. “Yeah. I needed the rest.”

“Do you feel better?”

She was anything but, but she couldn’t tell Lexa that. “Mostly.” Another half lie…or maybe it was a full lie this time.

“Some of your friends would like to see you before we leave tomorrow. I hope it was okay that I agreed we would all eat together. I told them we would meet out by the cooking fires here in camp.”

Clarke mustered up a smile, relieved that they wouldn’t be getting close to the Ark. “Of course. I would hate to leave without saying goodbye. Just let me go out and relieve myself first, and then we can go.”

She put on her boots and coat then headed outside. Her guards made to follow, but when she informed them where she was going, they stayed back.

She went down the path leading to the designated area but stopped in her tracks. There was Octavia, fulfilling her punishment and digging out a new hole that would soon be covered by a small tent for privacy while doing one’s business. The alpha looked up from her work and sneered at her.

“If it isn’t everyone’s favorite little wolf? Woof.” Octavia stood and approached Clarke. “Come to rub my nose in the fact that you got me put on skrish duty and got Lincoln sent away?”

Clarke gave a defeated sigh. “I wish I could change whatever it is you think I did to you, Octavia. I never wanted to be your enemy.” She shuffled uncomfortably on her feet. “I honestly don’t know why I am, but I’ll tell you a secret.” Clarke’s voice hitched then, and she couldn’t stop the single tear that slipped from her eye. She wiped it away, but she knew the alpha saw. “In about six months, you are going to learn something about me, and maybe it will give you satisfaction in how you feel about me. Maybe it will even make you feel justified in how you have treated me. Be patient, and you’ll feel like I got everything I deserved.”

Another tear escaped, and before Clarke could fully turn away from the alpha, Octavia gave her a curious look. It was a look mixed with surprise, dislike, but also concern. She heard the alpha call out to her, but she continued to walk away.

Clarke struggled through the evening, trying to make herself appear excited to be going on a two-week trip with Heda. They were to be mates soon, but the excitement she had once felt about spending one on one time with Lexa, without the burdens of the Coalition weighing the alpha down, had turned to dread. How long would she be able to keep up the charade and hide her new nature?

She had attempted to drown out her worries with some of Jasper’s newest brew, but Lexa and Anya had both advised her that drinking too much before a long ride on horseback was unwise. In the end, she had begged off early saying she wanted to get to bed soon. A few eyebrows had raised, but none questioned her. No one begrudged her the rest when she had recently been through so much. If only they knew.

The next morning, she moved robotically through the tent, packing up the few items that hadn’t yet been put in saddle bags. She had slept fitfully, and had been plagued by dreams (more like nightmares) of turning back into the wolf, but this time when it happened there was no human part left to her. She was just a wolf; a simple woodland creature with no memories of having ever been a human before.

She’d woken up trembling and had gotten out of bed before she could disturb Lexa. It didn’t matter, Lexa knew immediately that something was wrong, and Clarke had to continue the lie that it was her heat making her feel this way. Lexa didn’t question it. She had simply kissed the blonde and made her way out of the tent to ready the horses, but not before telling her that everything was going to be better in a few hours.

Clarke walked over to where the horses had been readied. Lexa offered to let her ride on her horse with her, but Clarke opted to ride her own. She was afraid her body language would betray her if she sat behind Lexa. She gave Indra and Anya a hug, and her nerves spiked when she saw Octavia hand Lexa a folded piece of paper. Heda read it, nodded, then handed it back to the younger alpha without a word.

Anya pulled her aside while Heda was distracted. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Anya.” Clarke tried to confirm.

The alpha wasn’t convinced. “If you’re nervous about mating with Lexa, you have nothing to worry about, and if you’re not ready, she’s not going to pressure you.”

“I know she won’t.” Clarke kicked at a chunk of ice under her foot.

“Then what’s gotten into you?” Her fos had always been too observant.

“Leave it be, Ahn. I’ve been through a lot lately, and my heat has me on edge. I’ll be fine as soon as we get away from here. I need to get away from Arkadia. That’s all.”

Anya moved back but kept a grip on her shoulders. She still looked unconvinced. “I’m going to be in Polis helping Titus and the natblidas, but if you need me, your guards can get me a message.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you in a few weeks.” She turned and got on her horse.

They had been riding for a couple of hours, and Clarke had been mostly silent. Lexa was worried. Something had happened to her yesterday, and the omega was trying to hide it. The alpha had suspected something, but it had been confirmed when Octavia, Clarke’s biggest enemy, had handed her a slip of paper. The message was short but extremely concerning considering the source. Octavia had succinctly spelled out what Clarke had told her the night before. She wondered why, suddenly, Octavia seemed to care about what was happening with the blonde.

She led their horses through an area that normally Clarke would have gone gaga for. She was sure it was a part of the forest the omega had never been to before, and it should have had the artist in Clarke itching to get off her horse and sketch the landscape. Clarke hardly responded at all, not even when a badger crossed their path.

When they stopped for their mid-day meal, Clarke picked at her food. Lexa was desperate to find out what was wrong with Clarke, but she was trying to respect the omega, hoping the blonde would tell her in her own time, but as hours passed, the alpha was beginning to think that Clarke was never going to tell her what was wrong. She didn’t even protest when, after lunch, Clarke asked for some time to wander on her own, claiming that she needed to stretch her legs.

When they got back on their horses, Clarke was silent again. She remained that way until they reached the cabin where they would be spending the next couple of weeks. The omega went through the motions of helping unpack her saddle bags, and she pretended to show appreciation for the stunningly gorgeous cabin and its location on a large lake, but after that, Lexa could see that she couldn’t fake any more enthusiasm. The alpha watched as Clarke trudged into the cabin. 

The guards, who weren’t blind, also watched the omega walk away. They raised their eyebrows at Heda but kept silent. Only Ryder approached her. “She hasn’t been normal since yesterday, not since meeting with her mother in Arkadia,” he said.

Lexa regretted that she hadn’t accompanied Clarke back to the Ark. “Try to make yourselves scarce. I’m going to try and get her to talk to me, but I have a feeling she’s going to be tight-lipped if she sees any of you.”

Ryder nodded and then the guards dispersed. In no time, their presence was invisible. Lexa walked to the cabin and took a deep breath before going in.

“Clarke, niron,” she called. There was no response, and she got worried. She checked each room but didn’t find the omega anywhere. There was only one door to the cabin, so she couldn’t figure out where the omega had gone, that is, until she checked the small kitchen. The window there was open, and the items on the counter below it were scattered. 

“You climbed out the window?” Lexa asked out loud.

She hurried out the door and ran around the back of the cabin. There was a path that led down to the lake, so she sprinted down it. It was the only place Clarke could have gone. When she got to the shore, she could see the blonde off in the distance. The omega was staring across the lake, looking utterly defeated. Lexa slowly approached, not wanting to startle the girl, but when Clarke crashed to her knees and let out an agonizing scream, the alpha was sprinting again. She skidded to a halt in the sand next to Clarke. Her knees hit the wet ground, and she looked anxiously at the anguished omega.

“Clarke tell me what’s wrong. Something’s hurting you, and I want to help.” Lexa was desperate now.

“You can’t. No one can help me.” Clarke let out a sob. “You need to take your guards and go. Go back to Polis. Find someone who makes you happy. Find someone else to mate.”

Lexa was crushed. Why would Clarke say such a thing when she knew the she was the only one for the alpha? “Clarke, what are you saying? I want to mate with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I thought that’s what you wanted too.”

“I do,” Clarke cried, “but I can’t do that to you. You deserve better.”

“Niron, I don’t understand. Please help me to. What happened?”

Watery azure eyes looked at her, and Lexa could see the war going on in Clarke’s head. She let out a gut-wrenching sob. “I can’t tell you.”

“Clarke, please.”

“Just go, Lexa. Leave me here and go.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me why you don’t want me as your mate. Do you not love me anymore?”

Clarke fisted her hands into the icy sand. “It’s because I love you that you need to go. I won’t be a burden to you.”

Lexa was trying desperately to understand what was going on, but she couldn’t. “You could never be a burden.”

“You don’t understand.” Clarke threw the sand in her hands toward the lake.

“Then help me to!” Lexa yelled. She was upset and having a hard time keeping her emotions in check because she couldn’t understand what was happening. “Tell me why you don’t want to be my mate.”

“BECAUSE MY OMEGA IS GONE.” Clarke screamed. “My omega is gone.” This time it was a whisper. She fell forward, digging her hands into the sand again. “You can’t mate me. I’m not an omega anymore,” her voice was so small Lexa almost couldn’t hear it, “and I am not Wanheda anymore either.” Clarke turned her head towards Lexa, her cheek crusted in sand. “I’m not anything anymore,” she eeked out, voice miniscule.

Lexa rose to her feet, at a loss for what to do. She wanted to scoop Clarke up and squeeze her to her. At the same time, she wanted to yell at Clarke and tell her that she was wrong; what she was saying was impossible. 

There was no possible way that she wasn’t an omega anymore. Lexa took in a deep breath, and her nose filled with the rich scent that was all Clarke. All she could smell was sweet omega. To her that was proof that Clarke was wrong.

Riding through the forest had been torture for Clarke. Every step the horse took felt like a dagger in her heart because it brought her closer to ultimate betrayal. She knew that if she spent the night in the cabin with Lexa that there would be no turning back. She would have to continue to lie and pretend, and she knew she couldn’t do it. Every jostle in the saddle made her stomach hurt. She felt like she was being eaten alive from the inside, and she knew she wasn’t going to be able to hide the truth from Lexa for long. Already she knew the alpha suspected something, and the harder she tried to hide what she was feeling the more she knew Lexa and the others were onto her. It didn’t matter that the implant would hide the fact that she wasn’t an omega. Clarke, herself, couldn’t hide from the fact, and it was slowly driving her insane. How did she ever think that she would be able to hide something like this?

As the hours passed, she tried to figure out a way to run away. If she could disappear again, she wouldn’t have to betray Lexa and make her think she was mating the omega who she loved. Clarke had already convinced herself that as soon as Lexa knew the truth, she wouldn’t love her anymore anyway. The alpha would probably still flatten Arkadia for what they did to her, but after that, she was convinced that Lexa would walk away from her. As Heda, she wouldn’t be allowed to tie herself to someone who was nothing. She’d feared rejection because of her wolf, but now, she knew she would be rejected. No one wanted to be tied down to someone who was nothing.

On the ride to the cabin, Clarke tried a few times to let her horse fall to the back of the line or stray from the path, but every time she did, the guards would shift pattern and flank her again. She wasn’t going to be able to get away on her horse or while they were on the trail. Her best bet was going to be once they got to the cabin.

When they stopped for lunch, Clarke tried to make a plan. She figured that if she could get away while everyone was unpacking and settling them into the cabin, she might be able to escape. As soon as she was far enough away, she would cut out the implant. Then they would no longer be able to track her by scent. 

Things hadn’t gone as planned. When they got to the cabin, Clarke had been able to go in alone, but she hadn’t counted on there being only one door. She’d had to scramble through a too small window to get out, and it had eaten up too much time. As soon as she reached the lake, she knew she had failed. She wasn’t going to be able to get away. Instead of running away, since it was futile, she stared at the glassy surface of the lake. There wasn’t a single ripple on it. It was an exact contrast to the crashing waves of despair she was feeling.

She knew she only had minutes before Lexa found her and she would have to confess. Her world had already cracked, but as soon as she had to admit what she was…or wasn’t, she knew her world would shatter. 

It brought her to her knees in the sand and she wailed, trying to relieve some of the pressure that was building up in her. She should have known it would have Lexa by her side in an instant. She tried to convince the alpha to go away, to leave her and go be happy. She should have known it wouldn’t work. Not without an explanation. 

When she finally screamed it at Lexa, the alpha stood motionless and for several minutes there was silence. Clarke tried to sink into the freezing sand of the beach while she waited for Lexa to turn and walk away.

Instead, the alpha finally sank down next to her again. She sat on the sand and pulled Clarke to her, hugging her close. “I don’t know what happened to make you think this, but you need to know that there is nothing that you could say or do that would ever make me love you any less. Even if what you say is true, which I don’t believe it is, I will still love you. You are still you, Clarke. You love, you feel, and you experience pain just like anyone else. That hasn’t changed, and I know you don’t want to, but I hope you will tell me what happened yesterday.”

Clarke clung to Lexa then. She dug her fingers painfully into Lexa’s arms as she grasped onto her, and she sobbed some more. “They…they took my omega away. They forced me to swa…swallow some kind of chip, and it made everything…it made everything go blank. Everything is dull now.” She punched her chest. “I feel like I have been hollowed out of everything that made me me, and I can’t get it back.”

Lexa rocked the omega and tried to soothe her with her pheromones, but she could see it was having no effect. She knew without a doubt that what Clarke was saying was wrong, no matter if the omega believed it, but she couldn’t deny that she wasn’t helping the blonde calm down.

Lexa took Clarke’s head in her hands and kissed her forehead. “We are going to figure this out, but first we are going to get you inside and out of the cold.” The omega was shivering. “I am going to prepare a hot bath for you, you are going to eat, and then you are going to tell me everything that happened yesterday.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not going to change anything.” Sorrowful blue eyes looked up at her.

“You are still an omega, Clarke.”

“I’m not. I know what I feel.” Clarke tried to struggle out of Lexa’s arms, but Lexa wouldn’t let go.

“Then why do you smell the same?”

Clarke ripped her arm away from Lexa and fumbled it out of her coat, pulling down the collar of her shirt at the same time. She lifted her arm, exposing the pale, soft flesh under her limb. “You see that?” She pointed to a small, red lump under the skin. “That’s an implant that was put there to simulate my hormones and pheromones; to make it seem like nothing has changed. That’s why I smell the same and why I am still going into my heat.”

Lexa slid her fingers over the bump. “What happens if we remove that?”

“If you remove it, then you will know that everything I am saying is true.”

“Oh, Clarke.” She gently took the exposed arm and put it in the coat again. She was beginning to believe her, but she refused to believe that Clarke was no longer an omega. She hugged her niron to her. “Let’s get you inside. We are going to figure this out…together.”

It took three more hours to get Clarke to tell her the full story, and during that time the omega was mostly silent with a steady stream of tears flowing from her eyes. Lexa nearly bit her tongue in half trying to control her anger at Jaha after Clarke did finally speak. She wanted to storm Arkadia and kill every last person in there with the exception of only a handful of people, but she kept her control for Clarke. The omega was already distressed enough.

They would not return to Arkadia until Lexa had figured out this mess with Clarke. Later, much to Clarke’s distress and relief, Lexa took the implant out. The wound it left wasn’t deep, and the alpha was able to clean it and dress it without it bleeding too much. 

She forced the blonde to eat and then drink some tea that would help her fall asleep. Once she knew the omega slumbered, she went out and spoke to her guards and told them everything that had happened. She sent two of them to gather others and covertly set up a blockade around the Ark. She wanted to make sure Jaha was unable to leave. When they returned to Arkadia, Jaha and Shumway were dead men. She would decide what to do with Doctor Jackson later. He had been acting out of duress, but he had still played a part.

She then had a private conversation with Ryder and Stryker which involved her blasting them with her pheromones. They crashed to their knees and exposed their necks to Heda. The both apologized profusely and tried to hand Lexa their swords. They were willing to give their lives for their mistakes. As much as she wanted to, she didn’t punish the men any further. They had followed Wanheda’s command, just was they were told to. She wished they had entered the medical bay to make sure it was safe, but Clarke had asked them not to. As it was, there was no way they could have know that Doctor Griffin wasn’t there. 

Clarke wasn’t the only one who had dampened senses in the Ark. Lexa couldn’t be sure, but she was beginning to wonder if somehow the air was laced with something to keep pheromone levels down; another way to ensure the population remained docile and compliant to those with all the power.

When she returned to Clarke’s side, she could see that the omega was sleeping fitfully. She thought about waking her but decided against it. Instead, she climbed in beside her. Soothing pheromones filled the room even though Lexa knew it was useless. As the night went on, she could sense the change in Clarke. Her scent was slowly starting to disappear, and by morning it was gone. It disturbed Lexa like nothing ever had before. It wasn’t because Clarke’s omega was gone. She was still madly in love with the girl. It was that Jaha could take the very fabric that made up a person and make it disappear.

She had stayed awake all night trying to figure out how to fix this and help Clarke. She had convinced herself that the effect of the chip was temporary, and in the morning, she was going to focus on everything Clarke had been practicing with Gaia. She was going to make her meditate and focus on the wolf. She was going to make her train, and she was going to try and replicate the feelings Clarke had just before Jaha shoved the chip down her throat. 

Clarke had told her about how she had been about to change into the wolf when Jaha was threatening her. The alpha hoped that if she could simulate that feeling then maybe she could force the change upon Clarke. She didn’t understand much about science, but she did not believe that the chip Jaha had given Clarke could change her so completely. She refused to accept that.

She tried for four days to engage Clarke, but the girl was too lost in her own distress to concentrate. She tried to be supportive while being firm, but Clarke wasn’t having any of it. When she tried to get Clarke to meditate, she was unfocused, and when she tried to get Clarke to spar, the girl would turn around and walk back into the cabin halfway through their session. 

Finally, on the fifth day, Lexa tried something different. She sent all her guards away and took Clarke deep into the forest. Clarke was distracted by her misery and not paying any attention to where they were going. If she had, she would have pulled Lexa in a different direction. The alpha knew exactly where they were going, and she hoped that the gamble she was making worked. If it didn’t, she might end up dead.

“Let’s stop here.” Lexa’s voice was purposefully loud, startling the blonde.

When Clarke eventually started to take in her surroundings, she started to tremble. “Lex, we can’t be here. We have to go…now.”

“Nonsense.” Lexa took two rabbits she had gotten from the guards earlier, sat down and started to skin them. “We can eat, and then we can spar.”

“Lexa. Don’t. Please put those back in the sack.” Blue eyes darted around nervously. “We have to get away from here.”

The alpha ignored her and purposefully made a mess of the rabbits. The stench of blood rose in the air.

“Lexa, please. It’s not safe,” Clarke whined.

Lexa pretended to look around. “Why? What’s not safe about it?”

“Look around.” Fear tinged Clarke’s words. “We are in the Pauna’s territory. We need to go before it finds us.”

Lexa continued to prepare the rabbits, and to Clarke’s horror, she started a fire. 

“Please,” Clarke begged. She went over and pulled on Lexa’s sleeve trying to get her to stand. “We need to go.”

“The beast isn’t here now, Clarke, so we will be fine. Just sit down and eat with me and then we can go.”

The blonde whipped her head around frantically, looking for the giant gorilla. She cautiously moved toward Lexa again but spun when she heard an unmistakable roar. 

“Nonononono!” Even without the presence of Clarke’s omega scent, Lexa cold smell the fear rolling off the blonde.

The pounder came charging into the clearing. Lexa stood and pushed Clarke out of the way. The alpha brandished her sword and ran toward the beast.

“Lexa, no!” Clarke screamed.

The alpha took a deep breath, once again hoping her gamble payed off. The giant animal swung a meaty fist at her, but she ducked and grazed its leg with her blade. It roared and focused all its attention on her, leaving Clarke safe. She battled the beast valiantly, but she also purposefully let it get in a few minor hits. All Clarke could do was watch in horror. 

Lexa moved and fought and allowed herself to be boxed into a natural corner formed by a boulder and a few trees.

“Lexa,” Clarke screamed, seeing that the alpha was trapped.

“Save yourself Clarke. Run. Ai gonplei ste odon (my fight is over).” Lexa was beginning to think it might be true. She was well and truly trapped by the Pauna, and it appeared her gamble hadn’t paid off. Clarke was still rooted in her spot, tears streaming down her face as the alpha fought the aberrant creature.

The gorilla landed a hit on Lexa that sent her flying sideways. Her head thumped against the ground hard, and she was seeing stars. She heard Clarke whimper, and then screams of pain filled the area. The Pauna ignored the noises as it stalked to where it had thrown Lexa. It was just about to land a killing blow when a deafening roar split the air. It turned toward the sound then, only to be tackled by an enormous white wolf.

The wolf bit, tore, scratched, and fought with everything it had. It relentlessly attacked the beast, and the Pauna didn’t have a chance to fight back. Every time it tried to hit the wolf the white animal would dart away only to launch a new attack. Lexa tried to watch the fight, but her head was swimming making it difficult to follow the frenzied movements of the two beasts. All she knew was that Wanheda was here, and she had saved her. Her omega was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts on this. I wanted to bring the Pauna back. Next chapter we will learn a little more about it. As for the heavy stuff, it's over. Clarke is back, and she's ready and happy to embrace who she is now. She's going to realize just how amazing she is, and she is going to be happy. She's going to have to deal with Jaha and his ilk, but somehow, I don't think that's going to be a problem for her at this point.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The fight raged on, and the Pauna was losing badly. It had bite and claw marks littering its body. Lexa’s eyes darted back and forth trying to follow the fight, but her head was pounding. She brought her hand to the back of her head, and it came away with blood. The last hit she had taken from the giant primate was worse than she thought.

She staggered to her feet, leaning heavily on a tree. She caught a black blur of movement to her left and wondered if she was imagining it. She was still having trouble focusing. She stumbled over to where she had seen the movement, only when she got there, there was nothing. She looked back over to the fight. Clarke was about to finish the beast. The bush next to her suddenly shook drawing her attention away from the fight for a split second.

She shook off her utter shock at what she had seen and looked back, the Pauna had fallen on its back, and Clarke had her two front paws on its chest. She was growling and her fangs were dripping with blood. The wolf was about to rip the throat out of the massive creature when Lexa yelled out.

“Clarke, stop.” The wolf extended its claws and dug them into the neck of the beast before looking up. “You can’t kill it,” Lexa screamed.

The wolf shook its head and snarled at her. “Clarke, look.” She pointed to where she had seen the movement earlier. A baby Pauna toddled out from behind the bush. It whimpered and scampered over to what must have been its mother.

Her omega was too far gone in her rage to care. “Please, Clarke. You can’t kill its mother.” Lexa didn’t know what she was saying. This creature was responsible for killing and injuring countless of her people, but she knew that she couldn’t condemn the Pauna’s offspring to a life without a mother. She knew what it was like to have a parent torn away from her, and she didn’t want this baby to watch its mother die.

Clarke howled, still caught up in her blood rage. “Beja, ai houmon. (please, my wife/spouse).”

The wolf tipped its head at the new word Lexa had used and looked confused, but what Lexa had said was true. Just because they hadn’t mated and made their union official didn’t mean that Lexa didn’t consider Clarke her spouse already. Taking each other’s mark would solidify their bond, but Lexa didn’t need that to prove that she was the omega’s. 

Lexa watched as the Pauna reached an arm out for its…its, she didn’t know what to call the baby. Its infant? Clarke also saw the movement and snapped her teeth at the mother. Lexa, in her befuddled state didn’t know why she was so sure that the Pauna was female. She had never considered it before, but it seemed to make sense since there was a baby involved.

“Clarke,” Lexa yelled when the white wolf started to growl and snap at the Pauna. The infant gorilla whined and quaked, but it didn’t leave its mother’s side. Lexa weaved her way over and got in between the downed pounder and Clarke.

The wolf lifted its lips and exposed its fangs at her. “Beja, hodnes, I know you think it hurt me, but I am okay.” Clarke tipped her nose at her indicating she saw the black blood dripping down her neck. 

“I’ve had worse. You know it. Think about how you would feel if you had to watch your mother die. Don’t do that to this poor creature. I know what it feels like, Clarke, and I don’t want that for this baby.”

Clarke moved away from the Pauna then. She waved her head back and forth as if trying to clear her head. The Pauna reached for the infant and pulled it to her chest. It made eye contact with the alpha. Its dark eyes locked onto hers as if it knew she had saved it.

The alpha stayed out of reach of the beast, but she spoke to it now. “This is my fault. I am sorry. I will tell my people to stay out of your territory. You won’t be disturbed by them anymore.” Again, she didn’t know what she was saying. She doubted the primate even knew what she was declaring, but she meant what she said. She would forbid her people from coming onto this land. What right did she, or they, have to the land anyway? Yes, it was Trikru territory, but as far as she knew, there had always been a Pauna on it. It was just as much the Pauna’s as theirs.

Up until this point, the clans had always suspected that the gorilla was a solitary creature; the only one of its kind. How wrong they had been. She wondered where the sire was. Her green eyes looked over the beast, assessing its injuries. It was littered with them, but without Clarke landing a fatal blow, it would live, and so too would its baby.

“Ste gon ogonzaun (be at peace), Pauna.”

She wobbled over to Clarke then. Fiery golden eyes watched her every move. “Let us leave this place. It is not ours, and we should not be here.”

Lexa leaned heavily on the wolf as they made their way away from the two gorillas. Her head was hurting, but it didn’t stop her appreciation for just how enormous Clarke was as a wolf. The omega’s front paw was probably as big as Lexa’s head, if not bigger, and she was so tall that she had to look down at Lexa.

They stopped after they had been walking for about fifteen minutes. “I need to rest a minute, Clarke.” Her head was starting to spin. She knew she had a concussion. It wasn’t bad, but she needed to lie down soon. “I just need ten minutes. Then we can go back to the cabin.”

She sat down and leaned against a tree. Clarke whimpered and rested her giant head in Lexa’s lap. The alpha stroked her hand through the silky soft fur between Clarke’s eyes. A loud rumble started to come from the wolf’s chest, and she realized that Clarke was purring.

“You are so beautiful, ai tombom (my heart).” She gentled the pads of her thumbs over Clarke’s closed eyes. “Den meizen (so beautiful).”

They stayed like this for a while, and Lexa continued to touch Clarke’s new body. She picked up a giant paw with both her hands. It completely eclipsed them. She slid a finger over a claw that was longer than her middle finger. She leaned down and kissed the velvet of each ear.

She smiled when the rumbling increased. “You smell like you again.”

Clarke picked up her head and her lips lifted frighteningly, but then the alpha realized it was her version of a wolfy grin. A long, pink tongue shot out, and before Lexa could stop her, it licked up the entire left half of her face.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “I could have lived without that, you know.” The lightning fast tongue got her again, this time on the right side.

Lexa’s head was pounding, and the laughing didn’t help, but she was happy. There was a playfulness to Clarke in that moment, and it was something she had feared she might never see again. Not since the omega had returned and been pronounced Wanheda. 

“We should probably go,” Lexa said, but didn’t make a move to get up. Her fight with the Pauna took a lot out of her. The wolf’s golden eyes assessed her, and then Clarke moved so that she was lying on her belly on the ground. She chuffed at Lexa and swiped her head to the side.

“I don’t understand.” Confused green eyes looked at the pakstoka.

Clarke chuffed again and this time lifted her head and tried to look at her own back. Lexa was still puzzled. Sharp white teeth pulled at her pant leg then and Clarke let out a frustrated growl.

“I’m going to need to learn to speak wolf,” Lexa muttered, trying to figure out what Clarke wanted. Clarke moved her head one last time and used her nose to push dirt toward herself, near her back. She did it twice more.

“You want the dirt on your back?” Another growl. “You…you want me to get on your back?”

Clarke’s giant white tail whipped back and forth. “You want to carry me back to the cabin?” Lexa got the wolfy grin along with an excited yip this time.

The alpha did as she wanted. She climbed onto Clarke’s back, and she was easily lifted. The first few steps the omega took made Lexa feel like she was going to fall off, but then she carefully gripped some of the fur between Clarke’s massive shoulders, and she felt more secure.

The wolf walked cautiously and kept her precious cargo safe, and as they got closer to the cabin, Clarke seemed to get more confident. She was exuding soothing pheromones, and it had almost lulled Lexa to sleep. 

Once the cabin was in view, Lexa sat up tall and proud, just as she would on her horse. Even though they couldn’t be seen, she knew the guards were nearby and likely watching their arrival. It would do no harm for rumors to spread of how Heda rode on the great Wanheda’s back like the two warriors they were meant to be. She knew without a doubt that there was a certain majesty to the two of them like this. By no means did Lexa plan to make a habit out of riding on Clarke, but if it happened from time to time, she was okay with that. She was enjoying the unique experience.

She leaned down to whisper in Clarke’s ear. “You are magnificent. I hope you know that.”

Clarke held her head a little higher, hearing that. As they got close to the cabin, the guards made their appearance known, Ryder out front. They took one look at Clarke, with Heda on her back, and they all took a knee.

“Heda already has it, but we want you to know you have our fealty, Wanheda.”

Clarke dipped her head at them and slowly lowered herself to the ground so that Lexa could get off her back. The alpha went to the door of the cabin and opened it for the omega. Ryder stopped them. 

“The tale we heard, when they told us you had turned into a wolf, was a hard one to believe, but now that we have witnessed it with our own eyes…we will never doubt what we hear about you again.”

Clarke acknowledged this and was about to turn and head into the cabin, but Ryder’s voice stopped her again. “There is no denying you two are meant to rule side by side.” He held out a tentative hand, as if asking permission to touch Wanheda. Clarke nodded. He traced a callused finger over the black fur on her head. “The fact that your,” he searched for a word, “mask matches Heda’s warpaint, well, it leaves little doubt that you are soul mates. You are a spectacular being, Wanheda.” 

He bowed and disappeared back into the forest with the rest of the guards, and they finally made their way inside. Clarke padded across the floor and settled in front of the hearth.

“Can you change back?” Lexa was worried that Clarke might now be stuck as the wolf again since she hadn’t been able to change back willingly before. It had taken her near death for that to happen.

A dip of the head and Lexa knew Clarke thought she could, but then Clarke didn’t move.

“Are you afraid it’s going to hurt?” Another dip, but again no other movement from Clarke, and Lexa thought she understood. “You don’t want me to watch, do you?”

One last dip of the head told the alpha what she needed to know, and while it hurt just a little that Clarke didn’t want her to witness the change again, she understood it completely. “I will go get our supper. We never did get to eat lunch. I will be back in fifteen minutes.”

She walked out the door and hoped that would be enough time for Clarke. The day hadn’t turned out exactly as planned, but the end result was what Lexa had hoped for. She knew that if she forced Clarke into an impossible situation that there was a very good chance that the blonde would change, and if she could change into the wolf, it meant that her omega was not gone. It had merely been dampened by the chip Jaha had forced into her.

She walked into the forest where her guards were sitting around a fire. A large cauldron sat over it and was bubbling hot. Stryker already had two bowls ready. He filled them for his Heda while she grabbed bread and cheese. Ryder carried two large cups of ale for them. 

She got to the cabin door but didn’t immediately enter. She could smell the intoxicating scent of her omega, but she hesitated to enter, unsure if Clarke had changed back.

“Ai tombom (my heart), is it alright for me to come back in?”

She didn’t get an answer and feared the worst, but the door opened, and Clarke stood there. She was fully dressed and smiling radiantly. Lexa’s heart nearly melted at the sight. The blonde flung herself at the alpha and into her arms. 

“I was able to change. I did it, Lex, and I don’t know how, but I knew I would be able to turn myself back, and I did.” Lexa spun her around. “Still hurt like fucking hell, but it wasn’t as bad as the first time, and now there’s no pain at all.”

Lexa was overjoyed for her omega. She knew it was a desperate risk she had taken today, but it had paid off, and she couldn’t be happier. Clarke’s cheeks were rosy instead of sallow and her blue eyes were shining bright. The food and drinks were placed on the table, and they were left in the cabin alone.

“I think I am going to be okay.” Clarke said with a relieved sigh. “I am sorry that I have put you through so much the past few days.”

“Hodnes, don’t ever worry about me. You thought that joken (fucking) evil man had permanently harmed you. I can’t imagine how frightening that must have been for you. If anything, your behavior was rather reserved. Mine would have been a wee bit different.”

“If he ever did that to you, you wouldn’t have to worry about how you behaved. I would rip his head clean off his shoulders, and I still might for what he did to me.” Clarke stood on her tip toes so she could kiss the alpha’s forehead. “I know that there’s a battle raging in you right now because you want to leave here and flatten Arkadia.”

Clarke wasn’t wrong. “Thank you for keeping your cool. We are going to get Jaha and all his followers, but we need to be smart about it. He threatened to do to others what he did to me. He has hundreds of those chips, Lex.”

“But we know now that the effect doesn’t last,” Lexa argued.

“That’s not true. It might be because I am Wanheda. What if I wasn’t? Things might be different. I might still be just a husk.”

Lexa let out a low growl. “You were never just a husk, Clarke.”

“You know what I mean.” Lexa teetered on her feet then. She still hadn’t rested properly after receiving her concussion.

“You need to sit down.” Clarke dragged her to the table and bade her to sit. She then helped the alpha out of her boots, grabbed a cloth and basin to wash the blood off the side of the alpha’s neck, and checked the wound. 

“You were right, it’s not too bad, but you’re going to have to take it easy for a day or two. I will clean it better after we have eaten.”

Clarke distributed the food, forbidding Lexa from drinking the ale because it wouldn’t be good for the concussion then sat herself down.

She pushed the food around on her plate. Lexa was just about to ask what was wrong when the omega finally spoke again. “Thank you for what you did today.” 

It was getting dark outside and the candles in the cabin turned Lexa’s normally light green eyes dark. Clarke had to focus so she didn’t become distracted by them. “What you did was a bit unorthodox, and it nearly got you killed, but it helped me realize what I truly am, and I am grateful for that.” The omega reached for her mug and took a swallow as she thought about what happened. “In that moment, when the Pauna was about to kill you, there was this sudden rush of feelings inside me that I can’t explain. It was almost as if I relived every moment of the past versions of Wanheda, and in that split second, I knew what I had to do.” 

She reached across the table and grabbed both of Lexa’s hands. “You risked your life for me today, all so I could realize my full potential.” She leaned fully over the table and kissed the alpha. “Thank you for that.” Blue eyes glared at her. “Don’t ever do it again.”

Lexa chuckled but had to rest her head on the table. Clarke was up like a shot, and in an unusual show of strength, lifted the alpha into her arms. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“When did you get so strong?” Lexa wondered.

Clarke shrugged, jostling Lexa in her arms. “It’s probably a wolfy Wanheda thing. I could get used to being as strong as you.”

Lexa rested her head on Clarke’s shoulder, enjoying the sensation of being carried by the omega. It wasn’t something she dreamed would ever happen and certainly not a weakness she would ever allow anyone else to see. She kissed the side of Clarke’s neck. She was enjoying the omega’s improved spirits. The girl had been to hell and back, and her dampened mood had distressed the alpha. To see that Clarke was beginning to embrace who she was, and maybe even enjoying some of the perks of that, well, it was nothing less than a miracle.

Clarke gently deposited Lexa on the bed, “Roll on your side so I can take a look at your head.”

“So bossy,” Lexa snickered, immediately regretting it as it made her head pound, but she did as she was asked. “I like it.” She could feel the omega moving aside her blood crusted hair.

Clarke was feeling lighter than she had in a long time. The past few days, hell the past few months, had been harrowing ones, and she had started to think that she was never going to get out of the abyss of sadness that she had fallen into. Lexa had kept a positive attitude and told her continually that her omega wasn’t gone, but the vast feeling of emptiness that had consumed her had her thinking otherwise.

She loved her alpha, and Lexa’s efforts to help her proved to what lengths she would go to help Clarke. The alpha almost let the Pauna kill her to help, and Lexa might have died if, in that moment before the frightening gorilla crushed Lexa with its giant fists, Clarke hadn’t finally let herself go. If she hadn’t given in to the feelings inside her, the alpha would be dead.

Clarke couldn’t let that to happen, and she’d allowed herself to change into the thing she feared most. It hurt, and under any other circumstance, she might have given into the pain and collapsed under it, but if she had, Lexa would be gone now. There was no way she was allowing that.

Thankfully, this time the change had been rapid, and her anger and fear for her alpha had her roaring as soon as she was able to regain her feet. After that, everything was a blur. Her only imperative was to protect Lexa, and she attacked the Pauna relentlessly. She was mindless in her attack. All she knew was that she needed the Commander to be safe. When the Pauna finally fell, she longed to kill it, and she would have, except that a cry from Lexa stopped her. 

Looking back on it, she was so very grateful that Lexa had interrupted her. She’d had countless fights with the creature while she was stuck as the wolf, but she had never wanted it dead. She respected the Pauna. Until the dark-furred baby had made itself know, she had thought the beast was the only one in existence, and she knew what that felt like. It was a lonely reality. That the Pauna had survived for so long on its own was something to be admired, not killed.

“Huh.” Clarke leaned back from where she was cleaning blood out of Lexa’s hair so she could see the wound better. Her last thought had her rethinking her current situation. Clarke was the only one of her kind, and she was Wanheda. Maybe she did deserve to be admired for what she was. She didn’t want fame or adoration. That wasn’t who she was, but maybe it was okay to be her, and maybe it would be okay to embrace who she was, and if it helped bring peace to the people, then who was she to refuse her new gift?

Lexa noticed the change in the omega. “Are you alright, ai tombom?”

“Yeah, Lex. I think I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Let me know your thoughts.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Clarke gets more comfortable with herself, and her heat comes back. It forces Lexa to have an important, if embarrassing, conversation with her. In this story, seeing as it is ABO, Lexa's anatomy will change when her rut hits. It is not during this chapter, but they do discuss it. 
> 
> They will also see each other, sans clothes, for the first time. 
> 
> It's a sweet chapter with nothing that is very descriptive. I just wanted to give a heads-up about what to expect.

Chapter 14

The next few days were nothing but pure bliss for Clarke. Lexa made sure the guards remained hidden from sight, and they were able to spend lazy hours walking in the forest, sitting down by the lake, and pretending that they were the only two people left in the world. 

Clarke could feel the first tendrils of her heat returning, and the thought of it had her excited. Lexa had become extra attentive, if that was even possible, but she had also become remorseful. She apologized to Clarke countless times for what had happened during the omega’s last heat. 

The omega tried to reassure the alpha that all had been forgiven, but she could see the lingering doubt in Lexa’s expressive eyes. She may have perfected the mask of Heda, but Clarke was now keenly in tune to how the alpha was feeling, and no mask could hide Lexa’s true feelings, not from her.

They were having an impromptu picnic down by the lake. The day was warmer than the previous ones, but there was a nip in the air. It was still winter after all, but Clarke hardly noticed. She was back to being a furnace, as Lexa had started calling her. One of the pleasant things about turning back into the wolf was that her senses had returned to their previously heightened state, and the cold didn’t affect her like it used to. She looked over at Lexa who was beginning to look chilled.

“Lexa, we can go back in if you are cold. We’ve been out here for a while now.” She shifted on the fur they were sitting on so that she could move closer to the alpha. She could share the heat coming off her more easily that way. It may also have been an excuse to sit as close to the Commander as she could. She was beginning to feel needy and wanted her alpha’s touch.

Lexa scented the air. “Your heat is almost here.” The alpha leaned into Clarke. “Did you know that your scent has changed since your omega returned?” The blonde shook her head. She hadn’t been aware of any change.

“It’s stronger, more powerful. It’s all omega, but more distinctive than that.” Lexa gave her a goofy grin. “I can’t explain it.”

Clarke took her hand. “Try.”

“Well,” Lexa had to think. “Every omega smells different, but there’s also a sameness to it. You all have a sweetness to you, whereas alphas seem to have a spicier, more musky scent. You, however, seem to have a blend of all the scents. It’s sweet,” Lexa inhaled and got a glazed-over look in her eyes “but it also has a warm smokiness to it, with hints of fresh churned earth and falling rain.” She lifted her glassy eyes to gaze into Clarke’s. “It’s dreamy.”

Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle. “Did Raven teach you that word?”

Lexa gave her a sheepish grin then ducked her eyes. “Maybe.”

“Well, I am glad I smell dreamy to you because I am sure if you asked anyone from the Ark, they would say I smell like wet dog.” 

Clarke meant it as a joke, but Lexa growled. “Who has said that to you? I will put them on a tree and cut out their tongue.” 

The omega pumped out soothing pheromones, happy that she was able to do so again. “No one. I was kidding, Lex.” She tucked an errant piece of brown hair into the hood of the cloak the alpha was wearing. “I will say that what you described as my scent almost makes it seem like you are describing the four classic elements of Air, Fire, Water, and Earth.”

Lexa raised her eyebrows. “I suppose it could.” She trailed her nose up the side of Clarke’s neck. “The smokiness could represent air and fire. The other two scents are obvious. Earth and water.” She let her teeth graze the blonde’s scent gland making both of them shudder. She flicked out her tongue to taste the skin. “It’s intoxicating.”

Clarke had to close her eyes to regain her composure. “Please say you don’t think it means anything. I’ve only just accepted who I am. I don’t know if I can handle anything more being layered into the myth of Wanheda.”

“It’s probably just a coincidence.” Lexa started to repack the food from the picnic that they hadn’t finished. “But now that you have me thinking about it, maybe it does mean something.”

“No, stop right there. Don’t put meaning to something that has none,” Clarke insisted, regretting she said anything in the first place.

“Just hear me out.”

Clarke sighed and handed Lexa a canvas bag to put some of the leftover food in. “Fine.”

“In my studies, I don’t remember reading anything about the four elements being important to Egypt, but you know who they were important to? The people of ancient Greece and think about the ties they had to Egypt.”

“No way. You are grasping at straws now.” Clarke didn’t like this train of thought.

“I don’t know what that means.” The alpha still had trouble with some of Skaikru’s sayings.

“It basically means you’re making a desperate attempt to attach meaning when there isn’t any. How about you just go back to telling me how good I smell and leave it at that?”

Lexa tried and failed not to laugh. She tackled the omega into the fur beneath them and shoved her nose against Clarke’s scent gland again. “You do smell good. So good that I have been having a hard time keeping my hands off you.”

“Then don’t try so hard, alpha.”

It ended up being another hour before they retired back to the cabin, and neither girl was cold when they got there. They’d had a prolonged make out session that had left them both reeling, but they had also had the wherewithal to stop before it got out of hand. Clarke’s heat may be coming, but she didn’t want her first time to be while sitting on a fur in the cold sand by a lake. 

They stomped their boots to get rid of caked on sand before taking them off, shucked their coats, and Lexa went to restart the dying fire. She should have remembered to have one of the guards do it for them, but she had wanted the gona (warriors) to make themselves scarce. It didn’t matter, she had a roaring fire going within minutes.

She held her hands to the fire and watched as Clarke started doffing the heavy layers of clothes she had been wearing until she was down to her long-sleeved shirt and leggings. 

“I’m going to freshen up a little. I’ll be right back.” The blonde slipped into the washroom but left the door slightly ajar. 

Lexa could hear her rustling around in the small room. The sound of water splashing in the basin was followed by the sound of Clarke removing the rest of her clothes. The alpha got anxious then. Surely Clarke wasn’t ready yet.

The alpha moved over to the bed and sat herself down. Even with the first signs of her rut starting to show, she was nervous. She needed to speak to Clarke before they took their relationship to the next level. She wanted to be sure this was what the omega wanted. So much had happened in just over a quarter of a year. Adding what amounted to a marriage to the mix might be too much for the blonde.

She thought about what she had learned about marriage from Skaikru. It was Bellamy who explained that marriage was an important concept in their culture. Up on the Ark, marriage was a way to legally bind an omega to an alpha, forfeiting away the few rights the omega had. After a marriage, the omega was essentially the property of the alpha to do with as they pleased. A few of the marriages on the Ark had been for love, like Clarke’s parents, but just as many had been politically motivated or done just for the alpha to gain control over another person. She didn’t want Clarke to ever feel like she belonged to Lexa and had to do her bidding. If anything, she wanted Clarke to know that she belonged to her. She’d go to the ends of the earth for her omega, and she wanted her to know it. 

They also needed to speak about the actual act of mating. Another thing that Bellamy had explained to Lexa was that they kept their omegas ignorant to what it meant to mate an alpha. He told her that most of the time an omega didn’t know what was going to happen during their heat until it happened. There was no sex education for omegas. There were only suppressants that kept them docile during their heat, dominance, and submission. 

The one law the Ark had in place that Lexa almost agreed with was that no omega was to be taken advantage of if the alpha did not intend to mate the omega. The part she was against was that it didn’t mean the omega had to agree to the mating, not at all, it just meant that if an alpha chose to sleep with an omega during their heat then they had better be ready for the commitment of marrying the omega. It was one of the ways the Council enforced the one child rule, and it kept unplanned pregnancies at a minimum.

No one wanted an unplanned pregnancy. The offending omega would be floated, but the alpha would be spared and allowed to live. That didn’t mean it would be a good life. The alpha would be given a drug that would chemically castrate them, but at least they got to live. No alpha wanted to be subject to the ridicule that followed.

There was one last subject that Lexa needed to broach with Clarke, and it was the one she was the most nervous about. From the beginning, when she had been just a small child in Polis and Anya had been her fos, she had been told by Titus that to be Commander was to be alone. That meant that the first time her rut came, she had been whisked away to spend it on her own. Titus had given her a tea to drink to calm her desire to find the first available omega and bed them, and then he had shut her in a room that locked only from the outside and left her there for five days until her rut subsided. Since that time, she had spent every rut alone. The only difference now was that she was able to control herself without having to be locked away until her rut subsided. 

Just like Clarke, she had never done this before, and she didn’t want there to be the expectation that she knew what she was doing any more than Clarke did. She was relieved that at least she knew what she was supposed to do. She didn’t know if the omega knew anything about what was going to happen. 

Lexa was so engrossed in her thoughts that she slid off the edge of the bed and onto her backside when Clarke came back into the room in her wolf form. To say Lexa was shocked is an understatement. She stayed frozen on the floor as Clarke padded over to her, and she wondered why Clarke chose now to change forms. Had the omega done it willingly? If so, she was gaining control of her shifting ability.

“C-clarke.” The white wolf sniffed at her hair. “You surprised me.” She reached up a hand and placed it on the side of the omega’s head. “Did you change on purpose?” 

Clarke dipped her head up and down. Lexa made a move to stand so that the wolf’s hulking form wasn’t looming over her, but a massive paw held her in place. “Okay, I won’t move.”

Clarke moved her head so that she could sniff at every inch of Lexa’s body. She then sprawled across Lexa’s legs, effectively trapping the alpha where she was. She stayed still for a minute, but it was clear that she wasn’t comfortable, so she got off Lexa and hopped on the bed. When Lexa only looked at her, she chuffed at her and thumped a giant paw on the bed. 

“You want me to get on the bed?” For that she got a yip.

Lexa got off the floor and sat at the edge of the bed, but Clarke wasn’t satisfied with this either. She not so gently nudged Lexa with her head, making her fall over onto her side. The omega then pawed at her until she was lying on her back. Seemingly pleased with this, Clarke shifted until she could rest her great head on the alpha’s torso. The alpha’s entire body started to vibrate when the omega started to purr.

She lifted her hands and stroked the fur on Clarke’s head and neck, only causing her body to vibrate even more. “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Have I told you that yet?” 

A golden eye shifted so that it could look directly at her. “I don’t just mean as a wolf either. Everything about you is stunning.” 

Clarke’s pink tongue whipped out and slobbered her face, making the alpha sputter. “I lied. That tongue of yours could use some manners.”

Clarke let out a bark and Lexa thought it was meant to be a laugh. The white wolf licked her again and got off the bed. She stared at Lexa and pawed at the ground. Lexa sat up to see what she wanted but a paw kept her where she was. The wolf took two steps back and stared at the floor as if concentrating. 

The omega whined. Soft cracks and pops could be heard as Lexa watched in fascination as the wolf reverted back into the girl she loved. Clarke was on her hands and knees but quickly rose to her feet. She was gasping for breath and seemed unaware of the fact that she was now standing naked before the alpha. 

At first, Lexa didn’t react. She was too stunned by Clarke’s rapid change. There hadn’t been any screams of pain this time and the transition had been fast. Lexa was relieved by this, but then she was hit with a wave of nerves. Clarke’s pheromones hit her like a ton of bricks. The omega’s heat was in full force.

“C-clarke.” She stood and grabbed a robe. She moved to cover the omega.

Blue eyes searched her face. “Don’t you want to see me like this?”

“Y-yes. You have no idea, but we need to talk about this first.” Lexa fumbled with the material in her hands, but she didn’t make another move to cover the blonde. She allowed her eyes to rove over the naked omega.

Clarke’s body was perfect to her, and she didn’t want to take her eyes off her, but there was a conversation that needed to happen first, and it needed to happen fast. Clarke’s appearance before her was sending her into a tailspin, and it wouldn’t be long before her hard-learned control disappeared.

“What’s there to talk about?” Clarke took a step forward. Lexa took a step back.

“I need to make sure you understand what this means for us…for you, and I need to make sure you know what it means to, ah, to have…sex.”

“We didn’t talk about this before. Why is it important now?” Clarke wanted to know. Lexa could see by the look on the omega’s face that she was hurt by Lexa’s reluctance.

“We would have. I planned to. Things got so terribly bungled that day.” Clarke took the robe from Lexa and put it on. She started to turn her back on Lexa, but the alpha gently caught her wrist.

Going to her knees, she kissed the omega’s hand. “Clarke, hodnes, you know I love you and would do anything for you. I want this more than anything I have ever wanted before, but I must make sure that you understand everything it means. You need to know that this will be nothing like the marriages on the Ark.”

Clarke’s hurt features softened. “I know that, Lex. From the beginning you let me, and all the others, know that everyone down here is equal. Up on the Ark a marriage is more about ownership, but down here it is about love and respect.”

Lexa smiled. “That’s right, but after everything, I wanted to make sure you knew that everything about our partnership will be equal, even when it comes down to running the Coalition.”

That surprised Clarke. She hadn’t expected that she would be a part of the day-to-day decisions. She figured she would still be an ambassador to Skaikru. She wasn’t sure how she would fit in as Wanheda. “Is that all we needed to talk about?”

“Ah, no. There are two more things, but they go hand in hand.” Lexa’s skin was getting itchy, and she knew her own change was about to come over her. They needed to finish this conversation before that happened. She needed to let Clarke know that physically, she was about to change.

“Do you know what it means to have sex, Clarke, to truly mate?” Lexa’s face tinged red. She was the strongest alpha on the planet yet talking about sex with her omega made her feel like a pup again.

“Well, I…uh…I have a general idea…I think.” It was Clarke’s turn to turn red.

Lexa took a deep breath. This was about to be the most embarrassing conversation she had ever had, and she was mentally kicking herself for never having someone educate Clarke on this. She was woefully unprepared to have this conversation. “You do know that it is more than just touching and kissing, right?”

Clarke looked down shyly. She didn’t know that it was more than that. “All I know is that alphas take control of the omega’s body, mates them, bites them, and maybe gets them pregnant.”

Oh skrish, Lexa thought. She longed to pull Clarke into a hug, but she resisted. “No, niron. It’s not like that. Not here anyway. This is why we need to talk first.”

She led Clarke over to the leather couch in the front room of the cabin and sat her down. She sat next to her and kept a hand on the omega’s knee. With her rut coming, the need to be in some form of contact with her omega was too strong to overcome. 

Clarke was looking decidedly uncomfortable and ashamed at her lack of knowledge. “Clarke, there’s no reason to be embarrassed. How are you supposed to know these things if no one has ever told you before?”

“I feel stupid, Lexa.”

“You aren’t stupid. You have been underprepared and kept in the dark by your people. They willfully kept you and the other omegas ignorant. That is not your fault.”

Clarke looked somewhat mollified. Lexa shifted uneasily. It was time to dive in. “First, I think you should know that having sex and mating are two different things. People can have sex, and do all the time, without mating, but to mate does mean that two people have to have sex.”

One look told her Clarke was thoroughly confused. “I don’t understand.”

Lexa turned scarlet but soldiered on and explained the difference between sex and mating. Clarke was silent through the entire explanation. It was clear that Clarke had no idea about any of this.

“I have a question,” the omega eventually said. “If mating requires the act of pen…oh god…penetration, then how does that work for you? You’re a female.”

This was the question Lexa was dreading. “Have you ever seen another female naked?” She asked first.

“I have, a couple of times.” Clarke explained it was on one of the first days on the ground when she and a few others went to wash in a nearby river. 

“Then you know that all females look alike,” she motioned awkwardly to her lower region, “down there.” Lexa looked upwards and cursed Skaikru for keeping their omegas so uninformed. Surely Abby could have taught Clarke something. 

Clarke nodded in agreement. “Well, alpha females are different from beta and omega females. When we hit our rut, our anatomy changes.”

The blonde wasn’t catching her meaning. “Have you ever seen a naked male?” Lexa was thinking no.

“N-no.”

Now Lexa understood. “But you know that male anatomy is different from female?”

Clarke sighed in frustration. “Like you said, they kept us in the dark, Lexa. I don’t know anything, okay. My mother may have been one of the only doctors on the Ark, but she wasn’t allowed to tell or show me anything. I can’t help my stupidity.”

Lexa scooted closer to the omega. “We’ve been over this. You aren’t stupid. It’s the people of the Ark who were stupid for using ignorance to keep their omegas docile. One of the best ways to keep control over another person is to keep them uneducated. A lack of education does not equate stupidity.”

Clarke didn’t say anything. “You do believe that, don’t you?” Lexa asked.

The omega still didn’t say anything. “Not once in the time I have known you have you ever done anything stupid, in fact, it was your wits and intelligence that kept your people, the delinquents, alive. You are not stupid, Clarke, you have proven that on many different occasions.”

Lexa could feel Clarke starting to relax. They ended up having an in-depth conversation on the differences between male and female anatomy which, to Lexa’s horror, included having to draw pictures for Clarke. This led to more questions about sex and mating, and then Clarke asked the question of all questions.

“So how will you and I mate? We are both females.” 

Lexa groaned. This was the part that she very much didn’t want to explain, purely because she was embarrassed. She cleared her throat and explained how an alpha female’s anatomy changed during her rut, just as a male omega’s anatomy would change during his heat. The changes ensured the survival of their species through maximum fertility.

Clarke paled at this. “Will I get pregnant when we mate?”

“Not if you don’t want to, no. We have ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies.” Lexa explained.

“Will you be mad if I don’t want to get pregnant yet?” Clarke looked like she feared the answer, so Lexa leaned over and kissed her.

“Absolutely not. I want pups one day, of course I do, but I am no more ready to be a mother than you are. We have time.” 

Clarke finally smiled. She looked up at Lexa then ducked her eyes. “You are still nervous, niron.”

“Can…can I see you? You’ve seen me naked, but I have never seen you.”

“I…yes.” Lexa stood. “Before you do, I want you to know that I have never done this before. I haven’t ever had sex or shared my rut with anyone. You will be the first.”

Clarke blinked in surprise. “But you’re Heda.”

“And I was taught that to be Commander is to be alone,” Lexa admitted.

“That fucker Titus told you that, didn’t he?” Clarke was outraged. She didn’t like the pompous bald man.

Lexa chuckled. “He has my best intentions at heart.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “I doubt it. He’s a self-serving ass.”

“He is, at times.” Lexa agreed and started taking off her clothing. She was trying desperately to keep herself under control so that Clarke could see her before things changed “down there.”

Clarke’s pheromones flared the instant the alpha’s top hit the floor. The past hour had been enraging, enlightening, embarrassing, and endearing, and it had made it hard to control her flaring pheromones. Lexa had done so well explaining everything. The omega had filled with joy when the alpha explained that she had never done this with anyone before, and Clarke felt honored that she was to be Lexa’s first. 

Her heat was driving her needs, but she would be forever thankful that Lexa had sat her down to explain what was about to happen. In all honesty, she had never thought about what would occur when they mated. It was something that would simply take place. She never knew what it involved.

It suddenly made her remember when an alpha named Dax threatened her. It was shortly after the Ark had landed. She and Bellamy had been trying to get control of the unruly delinquents who didn’t want to help ensure their own survival. She had tried to say something to Dax, and he told her that she better watch her back if she didn’t want him “pinning her down and knotting her.” She hadn’t known what he meant at the time, but now it all made sense now.

The rest of her thoughts flew out of her head the second Lexa stepped out of her pants. Powerful alpha pheromones hit her and made her knees weak, and she wasn’t even standing. She allowed her eyes to rove over every inch of the alpha from her curly brown hair, to her gorgeous angular face, and to her neck where her eyes lingered at the point where Lexa’s scent gland was. Her eyes then moved down to her breasts where they lingered for a long, mouth-watering moment before traversing the alpha’s equally mouth-watering abs, finally landing on the dark thatch of hair between the alpha’s legs.

She gasped. Lexa was a goddess. The alpha shuffled on her feet under Clarke’s scrutinous gaze until her blue eyes came back up to meet green ones. “How is it that you are the most powerful alpha on earth, and the most beautiful one? It’s not fair to the rest of us,” Clarke teased. She lifted herself off the couch, allowing her robe to drop to the floor. “I want to touch you, alpha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Next chapter they mate. I struggle with the smuttier side of things. I think I did a good job, but you will be able to judge that when I post it. Hopefully no later than Friday. It will be sweet, and awkward, and not super descriptive while still being satisfying. I guess we will all have to wait and see.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost to the end of the week, and what better way to almost end it by reading smut. 
> 
> Clarke and Lexa are finally going to mate, and yes, that means smut, but it's cute, not overly explicit, awkward, first time having sex smut, and I really hope you all enjoy it. While I very much enjoy reading smut, like so many do, writing it is a different beast. 
> 
> I am sure most of you realized from last chapter, and those of you who aren't new to ABO know, there will be G!P in this chapter. Just wanted to give a warning in case there are those out there that don't want to read it.

Chapter 15

Lexa stood frozen to her spot. A very naked Clarke was approaching her, and before she knew what was happening, the blonde’s hand shot out and unabashedly cupped between her legs

“Klarke,” the alpha squeaked, completely unprepared for this. 

The omega ran her hand through the soft hair. It wasn’t meant to be a sexual touch, but it felt that way to Lexa. “So,” Clarke began, looking quizzically at Lexa, “this will all change when your rut hits?”

Lexa had to bite her tongue in her attempt not to moan. She nodded in answer to Clarke’s question. 

“And it will look like the pictures you drew me?” 

Lexa would have smiled at Clarke’s innocence if she hadn’t been trying so hard not to start changing right there with the omega’s hand on her. Her control almost slipped when the omega inadvertently brushed her hand over the alpha’s most sensitive spot. As it was, she started trembling.

Just as quickly as her hand had appeared, it was gone, and Clarke was looking at her with concern. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Lexa tried to rein in her emotions, but she couldn’t, and the trembling continued. “I…I am fine niron.”

Clarke wasn’t convinced. “Are you sure?”

“Y-yes. It’s just when you touch me like that…”

“Do you not want me to?” Clarke interrupted. She was looking nervous again, so Lexa let her know exactly how she was feeling through action instead of words, and she moved forward to crush the omega to her. She kissed her until they were both out of breath. 

“Does that answer your question?” Lexa asked the dazed omega.

Excited blue eyes stared back at her. “Yes.” Her hand shot out and cupped Lexa again eliciting another squeak. “So, you like what I am doing?”

“Y-yes, but if you keep doing it, I won’t be able to control myself.”

Clarke gave Lexa a sweet look. “You do know it’s okay to lose control once in a while.”

Lexa looked down at where Clarke was holding her. She hated to admit it, but said, “I am embarrassed to change in front of you.”

A bark of laughter came from Clarke and it had her covering her mouth with her free hand. “I’m sorry,” she laughed again at the irony of that. “But you have seen me change from a wolf and back again, and you are afraid to let me see you?”

“That’s different,” Lexa argued weakly.

“How?” Both of Clarke’s hands started to touch the alpha. Her heat was here, and it was dictating that she start moving things along.

“I…it just is,” Lexa said, knowing she’d already lost the agreement. 

“I want to see you.” Clarke continued to run her fingers up and down the alpha’s body, making the brunette shiver. “Please.”

Lexa swallowed hard. Clarke’s unique scent was filling the room, and she knew the omega was letting it flood her senses on purpose, trying to elicit the response she wanted from her alpha. Not that she could blame the omega. She knew her own scent was probably starting to overload Clarke too. She wanted nothing more than to pin the alpha to the wall, the bed, the floor; it didn’t matter. She wanted the omega underneath her and writhing in pleasure. She wanted nothing more than to satisfy Clarke’s needs; more than she wanted to satisfy her own.

The Commander moved her hands to Clarke’s pale hips, and then she let one wander so that she was touching the omega the way the blonde had been touching her. She let a finger dip into Clarke’s dark, wet curls.

“Oh…oh my god, Lex.” The omega began to pant.

“Do you like that? I liked it when you did it to me.” Lexa had a smug look on her face. She knew the omega liked it.

“Don’t stop,” the omega begged.

Lexa obeyed. She continued to move her fingers through Clarke’s folds extracting tiny whimpers, moans, and expletives from her omega. The omega’s mouth formed a perfect O when the alpha tenderly slipped a finger into her, causing the omega to fall apart around her. She could feel Clarke contracting around her finger as she came for the first time.

Lexa had to hold Clarke up until she regained her feet. When Clarke looked at her, it was with deep cobalt eyes. Lexa was surprised to see them rimmed with gold. Tears were leaking from them, and the alpha became concerned until Clarke smashed her lips to hers. “What did you just do to me?”

Lexa realized they had never spoken about what Clarke would experience when she first had sex. “That was an orgasm.”

“That,” Clarke emphasized, “was the best thing I have ever experienced.”

“There are many, many more where that came from.” Lexa slid her fingers through Clarke’s folds again making the omega moan all over again, but she had to clamp down on her own body to keep her own self from falling apart.

Once the fog of her first orgasm lifted, Clarke became acutely aware of Lexa’s struggle and urged her to let go. “Please let me see you.” She moved her hand back down Lexa’s waist. “Let me do for you what you just did for me. Please, Lex.”

In that moment, there was nothing Lexa wanted more. “Touch me, niron.”

Clarke crept impossibly closer and moved her hand exactly the way Lexa had, except when she did, she could feel Lexa changing. The alpha dipped her head to hide it in the crook of Clarke’s shoulder. Her face was completely obscured by Clarke’s long tresses. “More…please,” she pleaded.

The omega watched, fascinated, even as Lexa hid in embarrassment. The flesh between Lexa’s legs elongated before her eyes, and the alpha may have been a passable artist, but she hadn’t done herself justice with her drawing earlier. When Lexa’s change was over, Clarke was mesmerized. 

“You don’t need to hide, Lex.” Clarke kissed the side of the alpha’s head. “You are magnificent.” She slid her hand along Lexa’s new length, and a deep guttural moan passed through the Commander’s lips. 

“Klarke.”

“Let me make you feel good, Lex.” 

Lexa’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as Clarke instinctively knew how to pleasure her, and in a ridiculously short amount of time she was making a mess all over the omega’s hand, much to her utter mortification. She ducked her head back into Clarke’s shoulder again trying to hide her humiliation. 

“I am so sorry, hodnes.” She let go of the omega and ran to grab something to clean up Clarke’s hand. She was gone for less than a minute and then she was frantically swiping at the blonde’s hand. Gentle fingers wrapped around her wrist.

“Lexa, stop. It’s okay.”

The alpha kept her head down, ashamed. “Lexa,” Clarke used two fingers to tip the alpha’s head so she could see Lexa’s eyes. “Don’t be embarrassed. That was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.”

When Lexa still looked horrified, Clarke grabbed her naked form again. “I’d like to see it again, many times.”

“Really?” Lexa asked softly.

“Sha, ai alpha. You are beautiful…everything about you is.”

A rush of confidence and arousal hit the alpha and she scooped Clarke up into her arms causing the omega to gasp in surprise. She walked them over to the bed and unceremoniously dropped the blonde on the furs. “I want to make love to you.”

She gently pinned the omega’s hands above her head and started kissing down her body. “If this gets to be too much, tell me and I will stop.”

“I want this, Lex.”

“I do too, but you have to promise you will tell me to stop if you become uncomfortable.” 

Clarke whimpered. “I promise.” 

Lexa let go of the omega’s hands and grinned when Clarke left them where they were above her. She then proceeded to kiss every inch of her niron’s body paying special attention to the omega’s bountiful chest. 

Clarke arched her back off the bed when Lexa sucked a pale pink nipple into her mouth, and she kept up a litany of incoherent noises as Lexa made her way down Clarke’s body and landed her mouth squarely on the omega’s center. Green eyes looked up at the omega then, and she didn’t move until Clarke said, “Please, Lexa, I need to feel…”

That’s all it took for Lexa to run her tongue along Clarke’s gloriously wet lips. She worked the omega into a frenzy, and just when Clarke was about to let go, she slipped one then two fingers into the blonde sending her omega into a tailspin.

Clarke’s hands gripped the alpha’s head and held her there as she pumped her fingers and worked her tongue over the sensitive bud just above, and Lexa made sure to keep her eyes on the omega as she toppled over the edge again. Watching her omega come around her fingers and tongue may have been the best thing she had ever witnessed.

Clarke quivered and shook as she came down from her high. “That…that…I have no words for how amazing that was. How did you know what to do?” She had to gasp in between each word, trying to catch her breath.

Lexa crawled back up over Clarke, kissing her and allowing the omega to taste herself. She gave her a sly smirk when she was through. “I may not have ever done this with someone before, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t spent each rut fantasizing about what it would finally be like when I did.”

Clarke huffed out a laugh. “Your fantasies must have been pretty incredible because that was unbelievable.” The omega ran her fingers across the tattoo on Lexa’s back. “I don’t even want to think about who was in your fantasies.”

Lexa brushed a sweaty curl from Clarke’s face. “There was never anyone specific, ai tombom. I promise.”

“No? There was never a cute omega or beta that you were attracted to?”

The Commander shook her head. “I never had the chance. Once I became Heda, there was no time for pretty girls…not until you.” 

Clarke pulled her in for another kiss. “I’m glad.” She flipped their position so that Lexa was underneath her. “Now let me repay the favor.”

It was some time later, and the two had not yet finished their explorations of each other. 

“Lex, I need you inside me.” Lexa had controlled Clarke’s body like it was a fine-tuned machine, but she was still achingly empty. “Please, I can’t wait any longer.” Her heat was flaring, and she knew she would combust if her alpha didn’t take her soon.

“Are you sure you are ready, niron? I don’t want to hurt you.” Lexa rested her forehead on Clarke’s. She was craving her omega like she never had before, but she would not make another move until she was sure the omega was ready. 

“Sha. Beja (please), Lexa. Please. I want this. I want you, and I want your bite.” Clarke reached between Lexa’s legs and took hold of her. “I want to be your mate if you will have me. Make me your houmon (wife).”

“I want that too, niron, more than you could possibly know, as long as you will have me too. I want this. I want you, and I want your bite,” Lexa said, duplicating Clarke’s words. “I want to be the houmon you deserve. You deserve the world, Clarke, and I will do everything I can to give that to you.”

Clarke started to writhe under the alpha’s touch. “Beja, Lex. You are my world. I need you.” Tears started to leak from Clarke’s eyes. “I need you so much it hurts.”

Lexa gentled a hand over Clarke’s cheek and pumped out soothing pheromones. “Shh. I am here niron. I will make the pain go away.”

She rested her forehead on Clarke’s again and lined herself up. She carefully edged herself into Clarke looking and feeling for any signs of discomfort from the omega. She stopped once the head was in. The omega cried out, and Lexa hesitated not sure if it was a good or bad sound.

Clarke wrapped her legs around the alpha then and urged her to move. “Don’t stop now. It hurts, but in the best kind of way.”

Lexa did as she commanded and pushed herself in until she was fully seated in the omega. She groaned, but once again, stilled her movement, allowing the omega time to get used to being so full. The alpha was dying to move. Clarke was fluttering around her, making it nearly impossible to stay immobile. 

“Move, alpha. Please.” Clarke thrust her hips up trying to swallow more of the alpha.

It was excruciating, but Lexa pulled out by infinitesimal degrees. She still wanted to make sure she wasn’t hurting the woman she loved.

“Stop being so gentle and fuck me properly.” Lexa’s eyes widened at Clarke’s crude language, but she couldn’t deny that it got the job done. She pulled almost all the way out, then thrust back into the omega hard. They both cried out in ecstasy, and then Lexa set a punishing pace. She grunted each time she bottomed out in the omega, and the omega moaned in turn. She could feel her knot starting to form and kept thrusting. Without words, Clarke called out to her with her little noises and with her pheromones, and she could feel the omega grazing her teeth along her scent gland. With one last mighty thrust, her knot slipped in. They both screamed out, coming together. 

She felt Clarke’s teeth sink into her skin just one second before hers sank into Clarke, and she felt joy like she had never felt before. She didn’t let go of her bite as she emptied herself into the omega. She was overcome with a euphoria she had only ever dreamed of. She was mated. 

An unexpected calmness overtook her. Something shifted in her, and until that moment she hadn’t realized that she wasn’t complete, but now, tied to her omega who was suckling on the mating mark she had just made, her heart was full. She was home. Clarke was her home. 

Clarke nearly asked Lexa to stop when she first entered her. Lexa was big and the stretch was painful, but it also felt good, and it felt right. There was a need inside of her, and it could only be filled by her alpha.

As the alpha inched slowly forward, her back arched off the bed, trying to urge her lover to move faster. In the end, she had to resort to cussing to get the alpha to move the way she wanted to her, and the results had her emotions soaring. 

Lexa hammered into her and her mind went blank. All she could focus on was the woman above her who was making her feel things she had never dreamed of feeling. There was a rightness to it, and even though she knew it would, she hoped the feeling would never end. In that moment, she was one with her alpha, and she wanted to keep it that way.

She snaked a hand around Lexa’s neck, mewling and whimpering with each stroke that Lexa made, and within minutes she was being swamped by Lexa’s ever-increasing musky scent. It was making the omega’s head spin, and all she wanted to do was submit to it and the alpha above her. When it felt like Lexa wasn’t going as deep, she also noted an increased pressure coming from the base of Lexa’s shaft. The alpha’s knot was forming, and she wanted it in her now. She started to move in sync with her Commander. Her gums began to tingle and the pressure between her legs began to mount. Wordlessly she implored her alpha to sink it into her, and when Lexa finally did, she found her teeth at the alpha’s neck, and they were biting down hard. She barely registered Lexa’s own bite at the base of her neck. Stars exploded behind her eyes, and she screamed out, just as Lexa did. She felt the alpha spasm as she began to fill the omega with her seed.

Tears of elations spilled from her eyes even as she sucked at the bite she had just made. They were one. They were mates, and this knowledge soothed her. She was bonded to her soulmate, and there was nothing that could tear them apart. Not now.

She wasn’t certain how long it was before she let go of the bite. When she looked at it, she felt bad for the alpha. It was an angry purple and slightly swollen. At the same time, her chest puffed out in pride. It was her mark on her mate. She was mated to the most powerful alpha on the planet, but that wasn’t what was important. She was mated to the woman she loved.

Lexa moved them so that they were lying on their sides. They would be tied together for at least an hour. When they got comfortable, Lexa moved some sweaty hair out of Clarke’s eyes. “Ai hod yu in, ai strik pakstoka (I love you, my little wolf).”

“I love you too, Lex. So much.”

Lexa leaned forward and tenderly kissed her flushed omega. “You’re mine now, just as I am yours. We are houmons.” She nuzzled in closer to the omega if that was even possible, seeing as they were tied together. “I am so proud to call you my wife.”

Clarke rolled the words around on her tongue and slowly blinked at the alpha. “I never thought, not in a million years, that I would have the honor of being someone’s wife, not until I met you. If I were still stuck on the Ark, my plan had been to swallow so many suppressants that I would be rendered barren. I would not have allowed some alpha to mate me and make me their property.” She shifted, careful not to accidentally dislodge the alpha. “With you though, I want everything. I want to be with you, and rule with you, and someday, I want to have pups with you. Meeting you,” she smiled then, “and loving you, well, it’s a dream come true…even if we’ve hit a few snares to get to this point.”

Lexa chuckled. “It was more than a few snares, hodnes. What happened to get us to this point is more like having the tower in Polis come crashing down on us.”

Lexa gazed into the omega’s droopy eyes. Her wife was falling asleep. She was as well. She kissed the new mating mark and then each of the omega’s eyelids. “Reshop (goodnight), ai omega. When you wake, there will be a whole new world waiting for us.”

It was a whole new world when Clarke woke. She was sore in all the right places, and she felt different inside. She felt settled and whole. She felt complete. Her gaze lingered over the sleeping figure next to her. 

They had spent two entire days in the cabin sharing their combined heat and rut, barely taking time to eat, and instead finding new ways to make love to one another. Lexa had been rough when Clarke had wanted her to be, and she had been tender when that was what Clarke wanted instead, but during the entire time, Lexa had been a master of control, always putting the omega’s needs before her own, and it only made the blonde love her more.

Sensing her wife staring at her, Lexa asked, without opening her eyes, “Does it bother you…me being back to normal?”

Clarke kissed the tip of the alpha’s nose and vibrant green eyes popped open. “You weren’t ever abnormal, silly alpha.” Her hand wandered down the front of the naked alpha. She had spent plenty of time worshipping the Commander’s form, but she wanted to taste her, now that the alpha’s anatomy was back to its usual state.

She shifted so that she was straddling the alpha then slowly moved and left a trail of kisses down Lexa’s body until she reached her target. Lexa looked nervous to have Clarke love her this way, but she nodded when Clarke looked at her, giving the omega her consent to proceed. 

The first touch of the omega’s tongue on her clit had her wondering why she was so nervous. It was a very different sensation from when Clarke took her into her mouth during her rut. It was no less intense, but it was peculiar, at least at first. There was no way for the alpha to describe the difference in how it felt, maybe because she never imagined Clarke doing this to her when she wasn’t in rut. 

She moaned when Clarke started moving her tongue in circles over and around her clit, and she gasped when the omega slipped a slim finger into her. Female alpha’s were built exactly as any female, but their entrance tended to be smaller, not built to accommodate penetration the way an omega, and even a beta, was, and even in all her time alone, she had never explored herself this way. She had never been penetrated before, and at first she wasn’t sure she enjoyed it, but Clarke, as if sensing this, pulled her finger out and stuck it into her own mouth, getting it wet before sliding it back into the alpha. It was infinitely more pleasurable now that there was more lubrication, and perhaps it was a delayed response, but Lexa could feel her own wetness starting to form. 

Everything in her started to tremble as Clarke paid special attention to her, and she thought she was going to die when she felt Clarke’s finger curled to hit the sensitive tissue of her front wall. “Clarke,” she screamed when she was flattened by an earth-shattering orgasm.

She was gasping for breath when Clarke crawled up her body and kissed her. It was a unique sensation to taste herself on the omega’s lips. 

Clarke was grinning mischievously. “It would appear my alpha enjoyed that.”

Lexa was still catching her breath. “Sha. She did.”

“Good because I enjoyed it too.” Clarke looked over at the window where the morning light was starting to stream in. “I guess we should get up and let the guards know we are still alive.”

Lexa chortled. “Trust me niron, they know. We were loud enough to keep even a sleepy Pauna awake.” 

“Well then, if that’s the case, I’m not done with you alpha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank each and every one of you who have left comments and kudos on this fic. I can't tell you how much I appreciate them. It makes writing worth it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments last chapter. I appreciate every one of them. 
> 
> Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 16

Clarke flung herself into sitting, from a dead sleep, just as Lexa was doing the same. 

“I think you may have been a Pharaoh in a past life,” Clarke exclaimed as Lexa was saying, “I saw you…at the temple of Karnak.”

They looked at each other, confused. They both started to speak at the same time again, but Lexa stopped herself. “You first, niron.”

“I was dreaming,” Clarke paused, “at least I think it was a dream, and I saw you, but you weren’t exactly you. I think you were Ramesses II.”

Lexa had to filter through the vast amount of information she had recently learned about ancient Egypt. “Ramesses the Great,” she said. “He was responsible for the first ever peace treaty, did you know that?”

Clarke grinned, seeing that her houmon was enjoying the comparison to the great Pharaoh. It was Lexa, after all who brought the grounder clans together. “I didn’t,” she admitted. “I know he was a great warrior who lived to be ninety-six and had one-hundred and fifty-six children.”

Lexa’s eyes grew wide and then she gave her omega a wicked smirk. “If I am, or was, Ramesses the Great, we had better get busy if we are going to have that many pups.”

Clarke visibly paled at the thought. “Niron,” Lexa said. “I am teasing. It is said he had two-hundred wives and concubines. The man got around.”

Clarke growled. “You had better not ever consider adding another woman to this family.”

Lexa burst out laughing. “Hodnes, you are all the woman I need.” She nestled into Clarke’s neck. “You are also the only woman I want.”

“Good.” Clarke playfully attacked her alpha, pinning her to the bed. “In my dream, you or him, I am not sure, were sitting on a throne. You had just won an important battle.”

Lexa was curious now. “Do you know where this throne was, and were you an observer in the dream or were you there as Wandeda?”

“I’m not certain. I wasn’t there physically, I don’t think, but I felt like I was there to watch over and protect you. As for the location, I just don’t know. We were in a sunlit room, and it was hot, too hot. You were being fanned by two young women,” Clarke growled at a sudden thought, “who I now realize may have been concubines.” She smacked Lexa’s leg. “You don’t get to have concubines.”

Lexa laughed again. “You cannot be mad at me for something that happened in a dream. You can’t even say if it was really me.”

“Well, I woke up thinking it was you,” she stated like she had won the argument. “Besides, what if it wasn’t a dream. What if it was a vision, a sort of latent memory?”

Lexa flipped their position so that Clarke was pinned underneath her. “It still doesn’t change the fact that I love and only want you. Don’t be jealous of something that happened thousands of years ago to someone who may have been, but probably wasn’t, me.”

Clarke huffed. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She smirked. “I’ve never had a reason to be jealous before. I don’t like the feeling, but I do like that I have someone I love so much that if I saw her getting attention from another omega, I would be jealous. Does that make sense?”

Lexa peppered Clarke’s face with kisses. “It does, and I know I would be jealous too if someone gave you that kind of attention.”

Clarke giggled, and it was so out of character for her that Lexa’s brows rose in surprise. “So, tell me about the temple of Karnak,” Clarke demanded. 

Lexa did her best to explain what she saw and felt, and it had Clarke jumping for the bed and grabbing a sketch pad. She scribbled away furiously, holding up the picture for Lexa to see when she was finished. “Is this what you saw, Lex?”

“Yes.” Lexa was stunned. It was exactly what she had seen. “How…”

“It’s what I saw too,” Clarke confessed.

Lexa sat up and ran her hands through her tangled hair. Her skin prickled with goosebumps. How was it possible they had had the same dream? She traced her fingers over Clarke’s picture. The detail was astonishing. It was exactly as Lexa had dreamed it.

“Are we dreaming the same dream because we are mated now?” Clarke asked.

Lexa stopped her tracing. “I don’t know. We will need to ask Gaia or Titus when we get back.”

Clarke groaned. She didn’t ever want to go back because that would mean dealing with Jaha. It was her fervent hope that Lexa would stride into Arkadia and lop off his head for what he had done to her. In all honesty, she was surprised that Lexa hadn’t already, but she knew her alpha was keeping control for her. They also planned to do this right. They couldn’t just storm in and kill Jaha and the others. There was no telling how many supporters he already had. Clarke could only hope that he hadn’t chipped anyone else.

Lexa, unaware of Clarke’s thoughts, expressed some of her own. “Karnak temple was built for the god Amun, or Amun Ra as he was also known. Amun Ra means hidden light.”

“Many pharaohs worshipped him and some of the other gods there, right?” Clarke wondered. “Maybe that’s why it was so bright and hot. It’s the Sun Temple after all. The City of Light.”

Lexa shot Clarke a look. “The City of Light. Why does that sound so familiar?” 

“Maybe it was in something you read when you first became Heda?” Clarke queried. “Or maybe you heard it from one of the past Commanders?”

Lexa didn’t speak much of her conclave or the process of becoming Heda. Only the Flamekeepers and herself were privileged to that information. She had let it slip once that when she meditated, she could hear the voices of some of the former Commanders.

The alpha wracked her brain trying to remember. “I don’t know, but it feels important.”

They spoke about their matching dreams for a few more minutes but dropped the subject in favor of getting up to go spar. They knew they would need to seek guidance from the Fleimkepas before they were able to make sense of what was happening, and there was no point in mulling it over now.

“Again, Clarke.”

Clarke was on the ground, for the umpteenth time. She had been going at it with Lexa and some of the guards for hours. They were attempting to hone the skills Anya had been working on with her. Her time stuck as the wolf, and then her recovery, had made her weak and clumsy. Lexa (and Clarke admitted that she did too) wanted her as combat-ready as she could be. 

When they got back, there was going to be a reckoning with Arkadia, and Lexa didn’t want to risk the omega getting hurt when the fighting broke out. Despite knowing that her armies would eventually flatten the place, they couldn’t just go storming in.

The Sky people had been steadily fortifying Arkadia. Plus, they had weapons that outmatched their swords and arrows. They would have to plan and be careful. Clarke had also made it crystal clear that she didn’t want any of the innocent to get hurt or die. 

Lexa had argued that it was unlikely that there wouldn’t be at least a few unwanted casualties, but Clarke had argued right back that they needed to figure out a way for that not to happen. Lexa wasn’t sure how she would accomplish that, but she would try.

Over the next few days, they moved on from hand-to-hand combat, to using the weapons with which Clarke was proficient. She needed to be able to fight expertly as either human or wolf.

Clarke had become much more adept, and much more comfortable, changing from human to wolf and back again. The change was also happening faster and less painfully. What had been hard was coming to grips with the fact that each time she changed back from the wolf, she was always naked. 

Grounder culture didn’t have the same hang-ups as Skaikru about nakedness. Seeing someone naked didn’t even phase most grounders, and when the guards saw Clarke naked for the first time, they didn’t react any differently to her than they would have if she were clothed. 

Nakedness may not have been a problem, but fighting as an unprotected human was, and she and Lexa were trying to figure out a system for Clarke to get clothed as quickly as possible, which included getting into protective gear as fast as she could. This was a problem, and so far, they hadn’t found a solution. 

“I’m going to have to ask Raven if she has any ideas.” Clarke was at a loss.

“And I will ask our tailors and metalsmiths.” Lexa had just flung a blanket over the naked Clarke. Lexa had been thinking. She wanted armor to be built for when Clarke was a wolf. Just because Wanheda was an imposing figure as the pakstoka didn’t mean she couldn’t be hurt by grounder and Skaikru weapons. That fact had been proven by the arrows she had regretfully commanded be launched the first time she had seen Clarke as a wolf, not knowing it was her. The problem was that even if the wolf had armor, once Clarke changed back into herself, she would be swimming in the heavy gear. Her human form was just so much smaller than the wolf, and the alpha was spinning her wheels for ideas of how to keep Clarke protected.

She had been mulling some of her ideas out loud when Ryder approached. “With your permission, Heda, I could go and ask my houmon for ideas. You know him.” 

Lexa smiled. “I do.” Ryder’s houmon was the blacksmith in TonDC. He mostly made weapons but was also known to make armor when needed. Some of his work was surprisingly inventive. 

“I have an idea that might work, and I would like to run it by him.” Ryder turned to Clarke. “Perhaps you could help me draw that idea out? It would be easier to show him than tell him, I think.”

Clarke was more than happy to help, and she disappeared into the cabin with Ryder. Stryker came up to his Heda. “She seems happy now.”

“Sha, she does,” Lexa said, then corrected herself. “She is.”

“You do too, Heda. Having a mate suits you.” 

She beamed at the man. “It does. For the first time I know what it is to be complete. She completes me.”

“Just as you do her.” He turned his head toward the cabin. “There is a light in her eyes that wasn’t there before…it’s in your eyes too, and I don’t know if you have realized, but your scents are the same now; completely indistinguishable.”

Lexa was shocked. She hadn’t noticed. She had thought that she was being bathed in Clarke’s scent. It wasn’t as if she had ever really been aware of her own scent. One isn’t usually able to smell themselves.

When Clarke and Ryder came back out, the blonde was excited to the point of being hyper. She was bouncing on her toes waiting to get Lexa’s attention, which if she had been paying full attention herself, she would have realized that the alpha was always keenly aware of her omega and where she was. It was a new sensation for the alpha. She might not be able to pinpoint the exact location of her omega, but she could tell if she were in front of or behind her, and she could sense how far away she was. She hadn’t yet been able to test out longer distances, but she was getting ready to remedy that by proposing a simulated hunt. She needed Clarke to be able to evade hunters and warriors if she were out alone in the woods, not that Lexa would ever want that to happen.

“Show me what you have come up with, hodnes.” 

Clarke excitedly thrust a drawing into her hands. Lexa looked at it the up to Ryder whose idea had been rendered onto the loose page. “Explain this to me.”

“I think it would be better if Wanheda were to explain. She took my idea and expanded it way beyond my original concept.” He grinned at Heda’s mate. “Her mind is amazing.”

The bouncing omega was eagerly awaiting her chance to speak. Lexa gave her back the drawing. What was depicted on the page was a drawing of her in her human and wolf form. Both were shown wearing armor. Clarke pointed a slim finger at the drawing of the wolf’s chest and body armor.

“Well, Ryder thought if there was a way to make multiple small armored plates, instead of having one big one, that it could be linked together. They could cover me when I am the wolf, but then be linked a different way so that they could stack up and turn into a smaller chest piece. It would also add extra layers of protection once I am me again.” 

“You are always you, niron.” Lexa kissed her cheek and Clarke rolled her eyes. 

“I know.” She was still bouncing, and it was making it hard for Lexa to focus on the moving piece of paper. “That was Ryder’s part of the idea, and it’s brilliant. I just took it a little further by trying to think of a way to make the armor collapsible. That way when I change, I don’t have to fool with the armor to collapse it on my own. It would automatically expand and collapse as needed. Now we just need to figure out what could be used to make it do that.”

Lexa was impressed. It was an excellent idea, that if they could make it work, might lead to better armor being built for all her gona. It might be a way to make things lighter and more comfortable while being just as effective.

“Can you make a few copies of this?” Lexa asked Clarke. “I want to have some of my other metalsmiths look at it, and I would like Raven and anyone she trusts to look at it as well. Between all of them, one of them will figure out how to make this work.”

Clarke was about to run inside and get to work. “Wait, niron.” Lexa called out. “I want to propose a small exercise first.”

Clarke was instantly suspicious. She could tell by the look in Lexa’s eyes that she wasn’t going to like whatever it was. 

“We need to practice your hunting and evading skills as the wolf. I want us to play a game of capture the gona.”

Everyone looked stunned. “Y-you want Wanheda to hunt us?” Ryder asked making Lexa smile evilly.

“I do. I want all of you to spread out in the woods, and I want you to evade detection. The gona who lasts the longest,” she reached to her side and unsheathed one of her best daggers, “will get this.”

“Heda, that is a hefty prize. Are you sure you want to part with such a fine weapon?”

Lexa gave him a sheepish smirk. “I am Heda. I can get another any time I want.”

Ryder let out a bellowing laugh. “The perks of being Commander.”

Clarke looked curiously at Lexa. “And where will you be, Heda? Are you going to hide too?”

“Nope.” Lexa had rethought her idea of having Clarke hunt on her own. “You and I need to learn to communicate better while you are a wolf, so I am going to ride on your back, and you will point out where each gona is hiding…that is if that is okay with you. I don’t want to presume that…”

Clarke shut her up with a kiss. Any activity that they could do together was okay in her books, and she would never tell Lexa this, but she had quite enjoyed having the alpha ride on her after she had fought the Pauna. It made her feel big and powerful, and it had given her confidence in knowing that she would be able to get her alpha away from danger should it present itself. She could keep her alpha safe. Having Lexa with her that way also gave her her own sense of safety. She knew her ever-alert alpha would always be watching out for signs of danger.

“Let’s do this,” Clarke exclaimed excitedly.

Lexa gave the gona a ten-minute head start. She told them to hide, to try and mask their scents, and to avoid detection at all costs. She also promised that the next time they did this, they would get to hunt Wanheda at which point Clarke growled until she learned that Heda would be with her then too.

“As I newly mated alpha, it will be a while before I will be able to tolerate that,” Lexa admitted. “I don’t know if I would survive knowing you were out there in the forest alone being hunted, even if it is a fake hunt.”

“It may also be a Heda and Wanheda thing,” Clarke added. “I feel the same.”

Clarke stalked through the forest. After walking back into the cabin with Lexa so that she could undress and change, Lexa spent the remaining few minutes adoring and touching her wolf. Clarke then allowed Lexa to climb on her back and they entered the forest.

Lexa was intensely aware of her surroundings, but she didn’t say anything to Clarke. She didn’t want to give anything away. She wanted Clarke to use her enhanced senses to find the guards who were hiding throughout the woods. She knew they would be up trees, in caves, and hiding anywhere that would give them an opportunity to remain undetected by Wanheda, and seeing as they were the best of the best, it should take Clarke some time to find them.

That was Lexa’s thinking at least, but as they walked, she could sense that Clarke was hyperaware of all her surroundings and the first gona she found was hiding up a tree. Lexa was impressed. It took Clarke less than five minutes to find him. Part of why that was impressive was because so many people forgot to look up. Even during daily life, they ignored what was above them, and they missed the soaring birds, the breeze blowing through the leaves, and the gona that Lexa often employed to keep an eye on things from above.

Up was the first place Clarke looked, and the alpha briefly wondered if it was because Clarke was from the sky.

When she spotted the gona, Clarke froze. She stomped her foot on the ground then pointed her nose to where she knew the man was hidden. Lexa, who hadn’t yet spotted the man, had to concentrate to see him. Once she did, she called out to him. “You’re a goner Otto. Return to the cabin and get yourself some food. We’ll be back as soon as Wanheda finds the rest of your group. Based on her early success, I don’t think you will be alone for long.”

The man climbed down and snickered. “Good work, Wanheda.”

There where thirteen more men and women hidden withing the forest, and it wasn’t long before Clarke found a man hidden under a thick layer of leaves and another who had ducked under the water of a nearby creek. The silly man came out shivering, and Lexa chastised him for dunking himself below the icy water. She then commanded him to go change into dry clothes and get warm.

During this, Clarke pawed at the soft earth. She extended a claw and sloppily wrote, “Too easy.”

Lexa blinked down at the two words. It had never occurred to her that Clarke would be able to use her claws to write. “Well, I guess that’s one way for us to be able to communicate, but we are going to have to come up with some concrete signals so that you can communicate with me more quickly if need be.”

Clarke dipped her head in acknowledgement, and when her nose hit the ground, she started sniffing. She was leaning so far forward that Lexa had to get an extra good grip to make sure she didn’t fall off. Wanheda ignored her predicament and continued to sus out the trail of her next victim. Her nose never left the ground as she sniffed. She wandered over a hill, through some underbrush that had Lexa ducking to make sure she didn’t end up getting smacked in the face with a branch and found her next victim. She howled in delight. Stryker, who had covered himself completely with mud to try and camouflage himself and his scent, was found in a cave, but he had been smart. The passageway was narrow. By putting his hands and feet against the two walls, he was able to shimmy up the steep crevice and flatten himself against the rock ceiling. It was so dark in the cave he knew he couldn’t be seen.

At first Clarke was confused. She knew the man was there. Under the fetid earth he had spread on himself, she could still identify him. She sniffed out the entire floor of the cave. After that she froze, perking her ears up at the same time. In less than a minute, she looked up and barked. He may have been high up, but she could hear him breathing. 

He let go of his position and gracefully landed on two feet. “Well done, Wanheda. I don’t even think Heda knew I was there.”

The alpha gave the man a small bow from atop Clarke’s back. “He’s correct, Clarke. I had no sense that he was here. I thought you had been led into a dead end.”

After that, Clarke found the other men and women with no problems. Once she realized she needed to use all her senses at the same time, instead of using just one, it was easy for her to find each man’s trail. None of the others had been nearly as inventive as Stryker. 

When she strode back to gona camp, it was to cheers and claps. She gave them a howl before letting Lexa get down. She discreetly walked back to the cabin to change back into her human for then joined the guards and Lexa at the fire.

“That was fun,” she said, smiling at each one of them. 

One of the female guards, Amara, congratulated Wanheda and handed her a stein of ale. The guards held up their own steins and toasted Wanheda’s success. Amara was already well on her way to being tipsy, having celebrated her win. She won the knife, not by being clever, but by being fleet-footed. She was nimble and quick, and she had been found last because she had been the farthest away.

“Next time it will be you who has to hide. I don’t think it will be such an easy task against all fourteen of us.”

Feeling confident and cocky, Clarke replied, “I look forward to finding out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is getting more comfortable with herself, and next chapter she will finally confront a certain petulant Sky alpha about her terrible behavior toward her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy update day. 
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it just as much.

Chapter 17

Clarke never got her chance to let the guards hunt her, not the next day at least. The next morning a messenger had arrived from Polis, but that wasn’t all. Sometime over the night, Indra had arrived with her seken (second). 

Clarke groaned when she stepped out of the cabin and saw Octavia sitting by the fire eating breakfast with the gona and her fos (first/mentor). “Great,” she mumbled to herself. “Just great.”

Lexa was behind her and took note of where she was looking. “Don’t let her get to you,” she whispered to her wife. “Let’s get breakfast and see why they are here.”

Indra and the messenger stood as Heda approached. It took an elbow to the ribs to get Octavia to stop eating and stand. Everyone bowed to the Commander and then to Clarke except for the younger alpha. Lexa ignored the slight for now and addressed the messenger first. 

“What news have you brought us?” Lexa asked the woman.

The woman bowed again. “The Fleimkepas have sent word that they have found something.”

“And what is it that they found?” Lexa inquired.

The woman stayed tight-lipped and handed over a folded and sealed piece of paper. Heda identified the seal as that of the Order of the Fleimkepas. She broke the wax closure. The note had been sent by Titus. She stepped a few feet away to read the message then handed the document to Clarke. Deep blue eyes widened, but her face didn’t betray what she was thinking. The omega handed the message back to the Commander without a word.

“Thank you, Omni,” Lexa said, addressing the messenger. “Inform the Order that Wanheda and I will return to Polis in no less than three days.”

Omni bowed to Lexa and was about to leave, but Indra halted her progress. “Wait.” She turned to Lexa. “Moba (sorry) Heda, but we also come bearing pressing news.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Now what is happening in Arkadia?” 

“Thelonius Jaha is pushing for a new election for Chancellor. He believes he is the only one fit to rule over Skaikru.” Indra’s dark eyes betrayed the rage she was feeling. “He is stoking the flames of fear and dissention. He is calling us illiterate savages, and ignorant fools for believing in the spirit of Wanheda. He even said that there is no Flame, only a well-constructed series of lies to get the clans to follow the Commander. He dared to say that the Conclave was nothing but a giant ruse to bend the will of the people.”

Lexa roared, exploding with pheromones and dropping everyone to their knees, all except Clarke. “That pompous, bigoted, self-absorbed branwoda (fool). His idiocy is going to get all his people killed.” As it was, he had already sealed his own fate. Lexa was simply biding her time before she took her revenge on the man for what he did to Clarke. As much as she didn’t want to, she needed to be strategic about how she approached the situation. Clarke had been right that the chips may affect others differently than it affected her. She couldn’t risk the man distributing the things. 

She did wonder at his motivations. It made sense that he did it to Clarke, but it didn’t make sense that he would do it to others. If he nullified the omegas and betas in Arkadia, he, as a powerful alpha, would no longer be able to force their submission. On the other hand, he would be even more powerful if he were able to turn the alphas into husks. Then his power would be absolute, at least in Arkadia.

“Jok (fuck),” she screamed. She scrubbed her hands up and down her face. All she wanted was a few more days with her mate. Couldn’t she have that? 

“Lex,” Clarke put a hand on her shoulder. “You need to calm down.” She waved her other hand at the people on their knees.

Lexa immediately reined herself in. “Indra, gona, Octavia. Beja (sorry). I did not mean to lose control.”

Everyone got slowly to their feet. The gona, who knew exactly what Jaha had done understood Lexa’s reaction. Indra being Indra, didn’t question it, but Clarke could see by the look in Octavia’s eyes that the girl was conflicted. She had just been forced to inadvertently submit to the most powerful alpha on Earth. She could see both resentment and awe in the eyes of the young alpha. 

The omega knew that she and Lexa would need to clue Indra in on what Jaha had done, and the threat that he was to those still confined in the Ark, but Octavia was another matter. If Octavia found out about the chips, the rash alpha might decide to go storming back into Arkadia and make matters worse. On the other hand, she might be exactly the mole they needed inside those gates. If they could get Octavia to understand the possible ramifications, she could be a valuable asset, and maybe, just maybe, it could lead down a path toward friendship between Clarke and the alpha instead of the contentious relationship they had now. First, Clarke would need to confront Octavia and settle their issues once and for all.

Clarke didn’t want to overstep and suggest out loud that they go speak with Indra privately, so she pulled Lexa to the side to ask her what she thought of her idea. Lexa smiled and gentled a rogue piece of hair behind the omega’s ear.

“You forget we are one now,” Lexa assured Clarke. “You do not need to fear that you might overstep by suggesting something in front of the others, or by commanding them to do something. We are Heda.”

Clarke searched Lexa’s face. The alpha meant it. It would take some time for Clarke to truly wrap her head around the fact that she would now be held in the same regard as Heda. She knew it was because she was now bonded with Heda, but she didn’t know if it was that fact alone or because she was also Wanheda. 

She thought it was simply because she was Lexa’s mate. Until she had returned from those three hellish months as the wolf, no one knew that Wanheda existed. The myth, the stories, and everything about her had been so well hidden by the former Fleimkepas that she was sure it was not her new status that elevated her. She suddenly didn’t feel like she deserved her new, powerful position in the Coalition.

As if sensing her doubt, Lexa said, “Hodnes, you were born for this, just like me. From the beginning, you led your people, and you kept them alive. Now you will help lead all our people. You are deserving of this.”

Clarke kissed Lexa, and she saw Octavia rolling her eyes from the corner of her eyes. “Thank you. You will have to be patient with me. I’ve barely accepted who I am. It’s going to take time for me to get comfortable with this. If I defer to you for a while, well, just go with it.”

“Of course, niron. It takes as long as it takes, and you will know what to do when the time is right. No one will force you into anything that you do not want to do.” They slowly walked back toward the group. “Now let’s get Indra up to speed with what happened, and then you can have it out with the young upstart. It is time for whatever it is between you to end.”

Half an hour later, Clarke emerged from the cabin with Lexa and Indra. She had a pack over her shoulder and her bow. She could see that Octavia was seething, having been left behind to sharpen her fos’ (first’s) weapons as she waited.

“Octavia,” Indra yelled. “Come over here.”

The girl wiped the weapon she was using with a cloth and brought it to her fos. Indra sheathed it. “You are to go with Clarke into the forest to hunt for tonight’s meal.”

The alpha’s face morphed into disgust. “Why do I have to go with her? Can’t one or two of the gona go instead?”

“No. They have done their work for the day. Wanheda kindly offered to hunt our supper, and Heda and I have Coalition issues to discuss. That leaves you to go with her.” Octavia went to protest, but Indra stopped her. “It’s either attend the hunt or dig latrines. Your choice.”

Octavia grunted. “Fine,” she spit out.

Clarke gave her a weak smile. “Let’s go this way,” she directed Octavia with her arm. “There has been good success hunting in this part of the forest.”

The young alpha reluctantly followed, but she grumbled the entire way. 

The petulant child kicked rocks, purposefully snapped branches under her feet and purposefully made a nuisance of herself. 

“If you keep up the noise, we won’t have any success,” Clarke pointed out.

“What the hell do you know about hunting? It’s not like you’ve had to since you met Heda. She pampers you like you’re made of porcelain; like you will break if you lift a finger to help.”

Clarke spun on the girl. She had some nerve. “What the fuck are you saying? You were right there with me every day as we trained. You saw me hit the ground just as many times as you did while they taught us to fight, and you were there learning to use weapons just as I was. I wasn’t sitting around like some princess, being waited on hand and foot, AND, I did my fair share of the hunting. Anya made sure of that.”

“Yeah, well what about since you got back from your three months of whatever it was you were doing? You haven’t done a damn thing.” 

Clarke stopped. She was so stunned that her feet wouldn’t move. Octavia had a way of hurting her feelings like no one else could. Her insensitivity was more than her just being mean. “Do you think being trapped as a wolf for three months was a walk in the park?” Do you think that being riddled with arrow wounds felt good and was easy to recover from?” The blonde omega scoffed. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Octavia narrowed her eyes at Clarke. The omega could feel the first tickle of the alpha’s pheromones at the back of her throat. She was stronger than she had been, but she wasn’t completely unfazed by the alpha’s attempt to dominate her. 

“I guess seeing is believing,” Octavia spewed. “I think the whole Wanheda wolf thing is a crock of shit. If you could change into a wolf, Lexa would have shown you off by now, or maybe she would have run away screaming that you are an abomination. As it is, you used your omega wiles to charm her into your bed, and now you have fooled her into mating with you.”

Clarke was struggling to control her rage. She fisted her hands to keep from lashing out at the girl. As it was, she could feel herself wanting to change. Already her fingernails were elongating into claws. 

“First,” she growled, “if I hadn’t changed into the wolf, how did I end up with the arrow wounds?” She lifted her shirt, showing off the worst of the scars. She then took a step toward Octavia and was gratified that the alpha took a step back. “Second, do you really think a weak little omega like me, and yes, I know you think I am weak, could seduce the most powerful person on the planet?”

Clarke started to let herself go. If Octavia needed proof, she was going to get it. She flooded the alpha with powerful pheromones first, and she could see the alpha struggling to remain upright. “I don’t know why you hate me so much, O, but this ends today, and you will tell me why you despise me so much. You don’t get to hate me for no reason.”

“Fuck off, Clarke.” Octavia tried to shove past the omega.

“That’s enough,” Clarke yelled. “Look at me.”

The alpha spun on her, and it looked like she was spoiling for a fight. Clarke didn’t give her the chance. She embraced who she was and allowed the change to happen naturally. She had gotten good at speeding up the process, but she wanted the alpha to know exactly what she went through each time she changed. She wanted her to see the hair growth. She wanted her to see the teeth fall out only to be replaced by fangs, and she wanted her to hear the snapping of bones. She needed Octavia to witness the horror of it all so that she could then understand the beauty behind it.

When the transformation was complete, she stalked toward the now immobile girl growling menacingly. She was pleased to see absolute terror in Octavia’s eyes as she towered over the poor girl. Raising her head to the sky she let out an earth-shattering howl that was so loud the birds flew from their roosts in the trees.

She lifted her lips into a sneer, giving the alpha a view of her very long, very sharp fangs. She pawed at the ground, drawing Octavia’s eyes to her massive paws and lengthy claws. She lifted a giant paw and easily knocked the alpha on her ass then stepped over the fallen body so that Octavia was trapped beneath her. She lowered her head until her fangs were mere inches from to girl’s face. She was still growling.

She kept the girl trapped underneath her, pushing out pheromones and threatening violence. She moved her teeth closer to the girl and stamped a mammoth paw just next to her ear, making the alpha flinch and cry out.

Octavia was trembling beneath her as fat, round tears leaked from her eyes, and Clarke knew it was petty, but she was wholly satisfied by this, but it was also time for it to end. She snapped her teeth once at the girl, just missing her nose then backed up to where her pack had fallen. 

Octavia was weeping now, and Clarke almost felt bad. “I’m sorry, Clarke. I am so sorry. All the things I did, and all the things I said, it was because I was jealous. The first time I saw you, I fell in love with you, but you never even noticed me.” Her words were difficult to understand between sobs and the snot clogging the alpha’s nose, but Clarke got the gist.

Round golden eyes stared at the distraught figure shaking in the dirt. Clarke blinked and shook her head, and then she immediately changed back into her human form. At a loss for what to say, she dug through the pack and put on new clothes. When she turned back to the alpha, she had moved. She was sitting against a tree, knees bent, and head hidden in her arms. She was still crying. 

Clarke slowly tied the laces on her boots while she processed what Octavia had said. Surely, she heard wrong. Octavia hated her from the start. There was no way she had fallen in love with her. 

Clarke tried to recall all their interactions from before she met Lexa. The first thing she could remember wasn’t that Octavia seemed into her. What she had seemed was boy crazy. Atom, Finn, and even Jasper had seemed to draw the female alpha’s immediate attention. Sure, at first, her and Octavia had had a few friendly interactions, but then they were fighting for their lives. When the girl met Lincoln, she thought it was instant attraction. Had she missed the signs? 

She looked down at the weeping girl. Could she really have been so clueless? For a moment, she was swamped by overwhelming guilt, but then something in her snapped. No. She would not feel guilty for something she hadn’t even been aware of. She was not responsible if Octavia had felt slighted or rejected by her; not when the other girl had never let her feelings be known. 

She was wrestling with what to say to Octavia when the alpha lifted her head. “I’m sorry, Clarke, for everything. I…I…I wasn’t fair to you. You never did anything to me, and I treated you like shit.”

Clarke moved so that she was kneeling in front of the alpha. “You are right. I never did anything to you to deserve the treatment I got. You turned people against me, O, people that I thought could be friends.”

Watery green eyes stared at her. “I know. I didn’t understand it before. You don’t know…being trapped all that time in the floor…I never got to feel or see things, and the first time I ever saw you, I felt something I hadn’t before, and I didn’t understand that it might not be reciprocated. I knew nothing about love, or crushes, and maybe…maybe it was just infatuation. It took Lincoln to make me understand some of those things.” Another tear escaped from Octavia’s eye. “I love him, I really do, but I couldn’t let go of what I thought I felt for you, and when you didn’t even notice me…”

Clarke put a hand on Octavia’s knee and the girl jumped just a little. “I hope you know that I didn’t reject you Octavia. You can’t reject someone when you don’t even know how they feel. You never did anything to let me know, and maybe under different circumstances, in a different universe, things could have been different, but I am mated now, to a woman I love more than anything else in the cosmos.”

“I know, and I also know that you and Lexa were meant to be together. I have learned a lot, and like I said, I really do love Lincoln, but I realize I have also almost lost him over my jealousy and yeah, what I perceived as rejection. That’s on me and no one else.”

Clarke stood and held out her arm to help Octavia up. The two remained silent as they scoured the woods for prey. Their altercation had scared the animals away, and it was another hour before they spotted any signs of life.

“What was it you meant that six months from now, I would think you got everything you deserved? That day, you were so sad. I could feel it pouring off you.”

Clarke paused. Lexa had left it up to her if she wanted to expose what Jaha had done to her. The chasm between her and Octavia may have filled in ever so slightly, but it certainly wasn’t enough to trust the girl. On the other hand, she knew exactly what it was like to have everything ripped from her, and those days had been the worst of her life; even worse than when she had first turned into the wolf. She never wanted anyone, not even Octavia, to experience something like that, and if she could get the alpha on understand just how devastating it was to lose oneself that way, then maybe Octavia could be a solid ally in their fight against Jaha.

She decided to tell the girl. She told her everything, just not about Jaha. She told her about what happened the first time her heat hit, the fight with Lexa, about what Pike had done which only led to things getting worse, to what her life had been like trapped as a wolf and her recovery thereafter. 

They talked all of that over as they continued to walk. “That still doesn’t explain everything,” Octavia observed. “There’s something else that happened.”

Clarke hesitated. She still wasn’t sure, but so far, things were going well, and Octavia’s entire attitude toward her changed now that the girl had made her confession. Clarke finally told the alpha what Jaha had done to her and the devastation it had caused inside her.

“Clarke…I didn’t know.” Octavia looked genuinely ashamed of her past and recent behavior, and she looked shattered by what Jaha had done. “Now I understand why you were so sad that day. I don’t know what I would do if suddenly I was no longer an alpha. Sometimes I feel like it’s my entire identity.”

Clarke considered Octavia for a long minute. “When I thought that I was forever going to be stuck without my omega, I thought I would be nothing. I worried that Lexa would no longer love me, and that I would no longer have worth to anyone, but now that I am okay again, I hope that maybe one day I would have realized that we are more than just omegas, or alphas, or betas. We are leaders, and warriors, and family members. We are friends to others. We are workers, and lovers, and…and I guess what I am trying to say is that we are more than just our designations. I hope that one day I would have figured that out.” Clarke swiped at the tear tracks on her cheeks. “Because we all have value; every one of us.”

Clarke looked up at the sky. It was a clear day, and she could see two hawks circling in the air. “Skaikru thinks it is so advanced because of the technology it possesses but,” Clarke pointed to the sky, “we are the primitives. While we circled the globe in the Ark, the people down here were learning and growing and evolving. They learned to survive the unsurvivable, and it is these people, and especially Lexa, that made me realize that we are all so much more than what people like Jaha see. We all deserve to live and thrive and be happy. All of us. On the ground, no one is undeserving.”

The look of shame and devastation on Octavia’s face morphed. It changed into a look of awe, and Clarke was taken aback to be looked at like she had just said words wiser than anyone ever had before her. The alpha blinked at Clarke a few times, collecting her thoughts then said, “I’ve never thought of it that way. I’ve always been so proud to be an alpha, and even stuck under the floor, and then in the Skybox, I felt like it made me better and more superior than everyone else.” The alpha scratched her hand across her forearm a few times. “Even hidden away as I was, the hierarchy of the Ark bled into me. From my cell in the box, I saw how the alphas, even some of those whose crimes were heinous, were treated better than any the betas, and especially the omegas. I didn’t know that it was supposed to be any other way.”

She was so distracted that she tripped on a root, and Clarke had to catch her. She gave the omega a weak smile. “Even down here, and seeing how the grounders are so different, I still held onto the belief that alphas are somehow better than everyone else. All I could see was alpha, beta, and omega. I didn’t see all the other things you were just talking about, but I promise I will be better.” She gave Clarke and earnest look. “You opened my eyes today.”

They walked further into the forest. The hawks in the sky were no longer visible. The dense canopy of trees hid the sky. “I am really sorry for my behavior, Clarke, and I know we probably won’t ever be friends because of it, but I hope I can make up for what I have done in some way.”

“I don’t know, maybe with time, we will be able to be friends. I do know one way you could help, and you would be doing a great service to Heda and the Coalition.”

Octavia’s eyes brightened. “Name it. I want to help, and I want to make up for being such a colossal ass to you.”

The omega gave the alpha a smirk. “Be our mole. Go back to Arkadia, and spy for us.”

Octavia was dumbstruck. “You mean like that character James Bond from the movies Bellamy used to show me?” 

Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, he’s a bit…” she hesitated, looking for the right word. Coming up short, she said, “loud.”

“Yeah. I think I know what you mean.”

“We need someone subtle. Someone who can go in and out of Arkadia without notice. Someone the Council doesn’t see as a threat.”

“And you think that’s me.” It was a statement. Not a question.

“Well, yeah. The Council never took the time to learn about you. They threw you in the Skybox before finding anything out about you. All they saw was an illegal second child that they couldn’t float because of their own law. They didn’t see your worth or your value. They saw you as an extra mouth to feed, as someone who breathed air she wasn’t supposed to breathe. They don’t see the intelligent, brave, and eager person that you are.” Clarke stopped her progression. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but the people of Arkadia, they don’t see you at all.”

Octavia’s eyes got big, but then she understood what Clarke meant. “You are right. I was never one of them, and because of that, what you are proposing could work. Tell me what I need to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, one of you nailed exactly what Octavia's problem was several chapters ago. You know who you are. Kudos for figuring it out. 
> 
> Now that Clarke and Octavia have set their differences aside (not that they will ever have a perfect friendship, if they ever have a friendship at all), I think Octavia will be the perfect mole.
> 
> Let me hear your thoughts. :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow I have been managing to post a chapter about once every five days. I should be able to post again later this week, however, there's not one, but two huge storms heading my way, and that was not on my 2020 is a random grab bag of suckery bingo card. If I have power, I will post. If not, well, at least you know why.

Chapter 18

Lexa almost fell off the log she was sitting on with Indra. Her favorite white wolf was walking next to one of her least favorite alphas and clutched in her jaws was the spoils from their hunt. Clarke was carrying a boar so huge that it would have taken no less than five of her men to carry it.

Clarke padded over to them as Lexa and everyone around her looked on in shocked silence. Octavia was grinning like a fool. The Commander hid her flinch when her houmon dropped the giant pig at her feet. She mutely watched on as Wanheda then soundlessly strolled to the cabin where one of the gonas hastened after her to open the door. He then quickly returned to where he was sitting.

In only a few minutes, the omega returned. She was wearing far fewer layers than the rest; still able to tolerate the cold with little problem. Lexa admitted to herself that, at that moment while she had to use the fire for warmth, that she was a little jealous of her wife’s ability to withstand the cold. 

Clarke gave her a brilliant smile. “So, is that big enough to feed us for a few days?” She indicated the beast lying at the Commander’s feet.

Lexa had to hold in a laugh. “Yes, ai houmon, I think it is safe to say that we will all eat well for at least the next week.” Clarke plopped down on the log next to her. “Good. Tomorrow morning you and I need to go on a hunt. I have something I need to do.”

Lexa looked at Clarke curiously. “With the meat we get from this, hodnes, there won’t be a need to hunt again.”

“It won’t be for us,” Clarke said vaguely. “I need to repay a debt. We’ll talk about it later.”

“Okay.” Lexa said and left the brief subject drop. She instructed several of the gona to prepare the boar, and then pulled Clarke to her feet. She excused herself and her wife. Clarke may not have been gone long, but Lexa had been keenly aware of her absence, and she needed some alone time with her houmon. She didn’t think there would ever be a time that she would tolerate being away from the omega for long.

“Would you like to walk, niron, or are you tired? We can retire to the cabin instead if you would like.” She pulled Clarke’s hand to her lips. “I missed you.”

Clarke admitted that she had missed Lexa too. “Let’s walk, and I will tell you how it went with Octavia. I think we have our new mole.”

To say that Lexa was surprised with how it went with Octavia was an understatement, but she realized that Clarke had handled the situation perfectly. She was none too pleased to hear that the other alpha had carried a torch for her omega, but she knew that there was no need to be jealous and now that Clarke had spoken with her fellow delinquent the Commander hoped that the flame Octavia carried for her wife would quickly gutter out. She understood how infatuations came and went, and sometimes all it took was talking things over. What did please her was that now maybe the promising young alpha would spend more time learning from her fos than finding irksome ways to hurt her omega’s feelings.

“Do you trust that she will be able to pull this off?” Lexa asked of Octavia. “It’s risky.”

“It is, but when it comes down to it, she is probably the only one capable of doing it.” They stopped walking and sat near their favorite spot by the lake. “She’s invisible to them. The other delinquents, they notice them. They are familiar with them, but her, they never took the time to bother with her. From the time they ripped her from her hiding place in the floor to the time they threw her in the dropship, they never saw her, not as a person anyway. We can use that to our advantage.”

After speaking at length about the untamed Skai alpha, they both thought about her differently. Octavia’s life had been absolute skrish before landing on the ground, and she had been fortunate to be ballsy enough to bug Indra until she gave into her and became her mentor. Clarke was now certain that if Octavia hadn’t escaped the confines of the dropship and the Ark that she would have languished away. She felt bad for the girl, and she almost forgave her for how she treated her. She knew she would with time. It was misguided feelings that led Octavia to treat her the way she did. As long as the young alpha could rein in her behavior, and treat her with respect, Clarke knew that there was a chance that they could become friends.

Lexa was smiling at the end of their conversation. “I never imagined that the two of you would settle your differences. I may not be pleased that she had feelings for you, but I cannot blame her either, hodnes.” She reached over and stroked Clarke’s cheek. “There is an aura about you, and it draws one in like a moth to a flame. Even Anya and Indra were almost instantly enamored by you; not in the same way as me, but still.”

Clarke chuckled. “I never imagined that Anya and I would be where we are at now. When she first dragged me, with that damned bag over my head, to see you, I thought I hated her. I also feared her. I didn’t know she was really a big marshmallow.”

“Only with you, hodnes. Only with you.” Lexa teased. “Well, and maybe Raven. Those two seem to be getting closer and closer. Maybe they will be the next to mate.”

Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand then stood, pulling the alpha up with her. “I hope so. They both deserve happiness.”

They all sat around the fire that night enjoying the spoils of the hunt. The gona had slow roasted the hog over the flames until the meat was juicy and succulent, and Clarke and Octavia were served first since they had felled the beast. Later that evening, Clarke admitted to Lexa that she had let Octavia have the kill. The alpha wasn’t as good with a bow as Clarke was, but omega was still rusty. It was her final peace offering to the Skai alpha to let her take the final shot that brought the boar down, and after the pig fell, Clarke knew it was the right thing to do. The alpha radiated her pride. The gona even saved her the giant fang teeth from the beast, and Indra promised she would have them carved into new, sharp arrowheads for the girl.

In retrospect, Clarke could see that this kind of attention was exactly what the alpha craved. It was what she had been missing on the Ark. She was sure Bellamy and Aurora, their mother, had done the best they could, but there was only so much that could be accomplished when you were hiding an extra child from the Council.

The next morning, a bleary-eyed Octavia left with Indra to head back to Arkadia. Only Indra was aware that a giant white wolf trailed them for the first few miles, and the wolf might have chuckled to itself when Octavia complained that Heda and Wanheda kept her up with all their “sexy shenanigans” the night before.

When Wanheda returned, Lexa was ready for the hunt. Clarke initially decided to stay in wolf form, and the two walked side by side into the forest. 

“Are you going to clue me in as to why we are hunting again?” Lexa kept one hand buried deep in Clarke’s fur. Her need to be close to, and touch, her omega didn’t change just because Clarke’s form did.

Clarke changed back. “I told you. I need to repay a debt.”

“To whom?” Clarke was still being vague.

The blonde paused as she redressed. “The Pauna.”

Lexa’s brows rose. “I don’t understand.” What possible debt could Clarke be repaying by hunting for the Pauna?

“For three months, I stole from her.” Clarke explained. She picked up a twig, after she finished doing up her pants, and she snapped it into pieces before throwing it back to the ground. “I would never have done that if I had known she was pregnant.”

“There was no way you could have known, Klark.” Lexa walked over and took Clarke’s hands.

“That doesn’t matter. Because of me, she could have lost her baby. I took much needed food away from her, and now I mean to give some of it back.”

Lexa understood where Clarke was coming from, and she was happy to assist her houmon in any way she could. “Then we will find the Pauna the best the forest has to offer.”

They ended up with another boar. Rabbits and squirrels would be too small for the Pauna, and they had no luck finding a deer. Clarke didn’t think it would matter. 

This boar gave a good fight, and as soon as it was hit with the first arrow, it charged them. Lexa barely got out of the way in time. She narrowly missed getting mauled. She didn’t hear Clarke’s scream and subsequent change. Soon Wanheda was back in wolf form and fighting the boar. 

It was bigger than the one she took down with Octavia yesterday, and it was four times as mean. It charged at Clarke and wasn’t fazed when giant white paw crashed into the side of its head. It shook off the injury and charged again. This time Clarke had to jump out of the way. The two giant animals fought, and several times Lexa gasped, thinking her wife had been injured. She had Clarke’s bow in her hand, hoping to aid in the fight, but the beasts’ frenzied fight gave her no opportunity for a clear shot. It was a well-placed swipe at the neck of the boar that finally took it down. Clarke’s long claws raked at its neck, splitting the flesh and causing a fatal wound. 

It tried to run then, but it only got a few yards away before Clarke was able to wrestle it down to the ground. Mercifully, she caught its neck and snapped it, ending its fight. Lexa couldn’t help but flinch at the sound.

“Yu gonplei ste odon,” the Commander said.

Clarke looked up from her kill, maw bloody. She gave Lexa a grizzly toothy grin. It would have been frightening if Lexa didn’t love her wolfy wife so much. 

“Well done, Wanheda.” She shivered when Clarke licked the blood from her muzzle. “You are going to have to do the heavy lifting. There is no way I am going to be able to help with that.”

It amazed Lexa how strong Clarke was in her wolf form. Even in her regular form, the omega was strong; much stronger than she had been before she turned into Wanheda. There was more than one time that Clarke had carried Lexa to bed during their shared heat and rut, and now she carried the boar as if it weighed nothing.

Clarke had to hold her head high, so the boar didn’t scrape the ground. It made it look like she was prancing. It made her look like the regal creature she was. Pride swelled within Lexa’s chest. Her houmon was the most beautiful and graceful person she had ever met with a inner intensity that knew no bounds. In either form, Clarke held a unique strength, and Lexa could see that Clarke was finally embracing that strength. Even at her lowest point, she was strong. It might have taken Clarke a while to realize it, but she was finally there. Even Clarke’s realization that stealing from the Pauna may have adversely affected it during its pregnancy spoke of strength, strength of character. Most wouldn’t have connected the dots, and most would not have taken the steps to make amends. Even if the massive gorilla couldn’t understand Clarke’s actions in bringing the kill there, it still spoke to who Clarke was as a person. She was the kind of person that would always look out for others, even before herself, and that care obviously now extended to the beast that had been her nemesis not that long ago.

Clarke ambled into the Pauna’s territory like she belonged there. Gone was the frightened omega that begged Lexa to leave the place the last time they were there. She stalked over to where most of their brawls had taken place and gently placed the boar on the ground. She then sat back on her haunches and let out an unearthly howl, startling her alpha. 

It was mere moments before the Pauna charged into the clearing, but it stopped short of attacking. It was clear that it remembered the last time it fought with Wanheda. It roared at them, and the noise shot straight into Lexa’s head making her remember the last blow she had taken from the beast. She unconsciously rubbed at the spot on the back of her skull. 

What Clarke did next surprised both alpha and beast. She bowed her head to the gorilla and then lowered herself until she was lying prone on the ground. This was followed by a soft bark and a push of her nose at the fallen boar. She nudged it toward the pounder. 

Lexa had to rub at her eyes to believe what she was seeing. If she wasn’t mistaken, the Pauna had realized that Clarke had just made a it a peace offering. It looked at the omega, then the kill, and back to the omega. The alpha cringed when the creature flexed its fingers into a fist, thinking it was going to attack but instead it thumped its chest three times and looked over its shoulder. The infant gorilla waddled out into the open. 

One look at Clarke and it hid behind the massive leg of its mother, so she lowered her head fully to the ground and started to make a chirring sound. It was like nothing Lexa had ever heard before. It was distinctly different from a purr. Belly crawling backwards and away from the offering, Clarke then did something so stunning, woman and beast nearly toppled over in shock. She rolled over onto her back, fully exposing her belly, fully submitting to the Pauna. 

“Clarke, no.” The white wolf ignored her mate. She tipped her head and looked at the trio that remained standing from upside down. “Woof.”

It was soft and imploring. “Woof.” She did it again, and this time the tiny (by Pauna standards) baby poked its head out from behind its mother. It squeaked back at Clarke, so she lifted a paw in a playful manner. The baby made a move toward Clarke but a huge hand on its head stopped it. It bleated at its mother and bolted out from under that hand and directly into the omegas side, burying itself in her glorious white fur. The Pauna roared but wolf and babe disregarded her. The white furred beast rolled onto her side and nuzzled the infant, and all the Pauna and Lexa could do was look on in fear and wonder. 

Clarke then stilled and let the baby crawl all over her. It pulled her ears, and her tail, and the omega even let it pull her whiskers even though it made her sneeze. This seemed to delight the small gorilla and she let her do it again with the same results. She let it explore her until it got bored and went back over to its mother, holding up its arms to be picked up. 

Lexa marveled at just how human the mother and babe seemed, and it reaffirmed her decision to leave the beings in peace. 

Clarke had just gotten back onto her paws when a third Pauna came into view. It had to be the sire. Surprisingly, it was smaller than the mother. It roared at the sight of intruders in its territory, but the mother roared back at it. A kind of nonverbal conversation happened between the two animals and male settled down.

It walked over to the boar and dragged it away, disappearing from view. Clarke chose that moment to revert back into her human form. She stood naked before the Pauna and watched in fascination as the beast took in what had just happened to her. It took a few minutes for the massive gorilla to understand what had just taken place, but it finally tipped its head to Clarke. It then did the same to Lexa before carrying its child in the direction the sire had gone before disappearing completely from sight.

When Lexa eventually turned back to Clarke, the omega was grinning at her. “I think that went well, don’t you?”

Lexa couldn’t help letting out a nervous chuckle. During the entire exchange, she had been wound tight thinking at any moment they would be smashed to pieces by the primate. “I don’t know what to think, but next time give me some warning. It wouldn’t do for the Commander of the 12 clans to wet herself in front of her houmon.”

Clarke’s laughter reverberated through the forest, making several birds take flight. “A rumor like that might be the downfall of Heda.”

“Exactly,” Lexa teased. “Next time warn me so that I can stop and relieve myself first. As it is, I need to find a tree to hide behind before my bladder gives way. When the sire showed up, I thought that was going to be the end of us. It’s amazing my bladder held up through that.”

Clarke was still laughing at her. 

“Hodnes, as much as I love looking at you when you have nothing on, you should probably change back and not walk through the forest nude. We didn’t bring back up clothes, and you might cut your foot.”

Brilliant azure eyes sparkled in the sunlight that was filtering through the leaves above. “I just think you don’t want anyone but you to see me like this.” She waved a hand up and down her body. “You want this view all to yourself.”

“You are not wrong, at tombom (my heart).”

Clarke complied and changed back again. It was getting so fast that it was almost a blur. She dipped down and invited Lexa to ride.

“You enjoy giving me rides,” Lexa said from atop the omega’s back.

Clarke chuffed and without warning sprinted off into the forest. Lexa barely had time to grab on before they were racing through the trees. She let out an un-Heda like squeal. 

They tore across the ground like it was nothing to Clarke to be going so fast. She obviously had a destination in mind. Twice Lexa had to duck under a branch to not get brained, but after that her wolf was more careful to avoid objects that might harm her passenger. It didn’t mean there was a slowdown, in fact, Lexa would swear she sped up. 

They ran past creeks, jumped over fallen trees, and ignored a badger that went scampering away, startled by their unexpected presence. “Hodnes, where are we going?”

Clarke kept running and Lexa couldn’t be sure that her words had even been heard over the loud panting the wolf was doing. 

Eventually, they screeched to a halt. Lexa looked around from her perch and didn’t recognize her surroundings. They were in a part of the forest she had never visited before.

Clarke lowered herself and Lexa took this as her cue to get off her back, so she did. She stood and surveyed the land. When she turned around, Clarke was her human self again. She was still catching her breath, but her transformation had been soundless.

She shucked off her coat and put it around Clarke, cursing herself for not bringing extra clothes for her niron. It was a stupid oversight that wouldn’t happen again. With Clarke’s growing confidence in herself, she was changing back and forth more often, and Lexa needed to make sure that she would always be able to cover herself. Human feet were not suited to walking in the forest bare. 

“What are we doing here, Clarke? What is this place?”

“This is where I spent most of my time while I was stuck as the wolf. I wanted to show it to you before we have to head back to Polis in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I think I am finally over my obsession with the Pauna family, maybe, but damn the idea of a baby pauna just makes my heart pitter patter.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not had a beta for these last two chapters (because my beta has a poor idea of what a work life balance is, so it has been all work all the time recently), so bear with me if this chapter feels clunky or has mistakes. I went over it myself, but when you read something too many times, you gloss over the mistakes and miss them.
> 
> In the end, I quite like this chapter. I hope you do too.

Chapter 19

Clarke and Lexa walked through the forest. To Lexa if felt lonely.

“This was where I spent most of my time over those three months,” Clarke said. Lexa looked around with new eyes. It was an extremely quiet section of the forest, and it was clear that very few, if any, people traveled through this part of it. The rocks were moss covered, the ground looked perpetually wet, and it was dark. The alpha doubted any light penetrated the canopy above them. It reminded her of the forests in the scary stories Gustus had told her as a child when she first got to Polis. She shivered, remembering the tales.

Clarke walked over to two large rocks. She walked in between them. It was a tight fit, but she was able to turn around and face Lexa. “This is where I slept…until I found the cave.”

Lexa stepped into the space. She instantly felt claustrophobic. “Oh, hodnes.” She ran her hand along the rough stone. “How did you fit?”

Clarke shook her head. “Desperation, fear, confusion. I don’t know.”

“I am sorry you had to suffer for all that time, Klark. If it were within my power I would go back and change everything so that you didn’t have to go through it.”

“I wouldn’t.” 

Lexa blinked in surprise. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. “No?”

“No. It was hard, and it was horrible, but I think that maybe it was necessary.”

“You can’t possibly believe that you deserved what you went through.” Lexa pulled Clarke back out from between the rocks.

“Deserved it, no. I didn’t deserve it, but reflecting on it now, maybe I needed it.” Clarke let herself be led.

“For what?” She knew what Clarke’s time in the forest had been like. Clarke had told her, and the seclusion and loneliness had almost been the end of her. 

“To learn what it is to hit rock bottom, to remember what it is to be loved, to realize that survival is nothing without also getting to live. I’ve had time to think about all these things, and if I can’t take anything away from it all, then what was the purpose of it?”

“You told me not long ago when we were talking about your scent and the elements that I was grasping at straws. I think I understand what you meant now, and I think you are doing the same. Why dredge all of this up now and try and put meaning to it?”

“Because if I don’t, and it was really all for nothing, then I will never fully accept what I am, and I am so close, Lexa.” She walked over to her wife and wrapped her warm arms around her. “From the things I have learned recently about ancient times and their heroes,” she shifted uncomfortably on her bare feet, “I don’t know if I can accept that they were real gods and demigods, but they were often tested. They faced hardships to prove their worth and their titles, and I think that maybe what happened to me.”

Lexa studied Clarke’s face. She could see that the omega believed the truth in her words, and she couldn’t deny that perhaps Clarke was correct. It was no less believable than a person being able to turn into a wolf. 

“It appears your time in the woods did one other thing for you.” Lexa pulled Clarke in for a kiss that left the blonde gasping.

“And what is that?”

“It made you wise. I believe your wisdom may now rival Titus’s.”

Clarke laughed, and it was music to Lexa’s ears, and she vowed to make it happen much more often. “Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“I don’t know,” Lexa pondered. “It might make his head explode to hear it. It might be my way to finally be rid of him.”

“That ass is going to live forever, even if it is only to spite me.” Clarke had no love of the Fleimkepa. She hadn’t had many interactions with the man, but she knew he was the one who had originally taught Lexa that love was weakness and that to be Commander was to be alone. He was also the one who pushed for their mating when he thought it was only for political purposes. 

“I have no doubt that he will try, however, with the things you can now do, and the things we have learned, I think he will be hard-pressed to believe that you are simply some little omega who has stolen my heart.”

Clarke gave her a wicked grin. “But I have stolen your heart.” She opened the coat Lexa had given her to remind her that she was still naked underneath. “It’s not the only thing I stole from you.” She palmed Lexa’s crotch making her gasp. “My cave isn’t far from here. Want to go visit it?” She winked at Lexa before walking away.

When they got to the cave, Lexa was hot and bothered, and she was ready to jump her omega, but as soon as they entered the main chamber, she froze, and her eyes filled with tears. On the ground, just at the base of the far wall were the dried remains of Clarke’s injuries. No one had ever thought to go back to the cave to clean up the bloody mess Heda’s arrows had caused. She may not have shot the projectiles herself, but she had given the command to do so, and the dried reminder was no less painful than being hit in the heart with a dagger. 

Clarke at first was oblivious to her houmon’s reaction to being back in the cave. There were still several items strewn upon the floor, that had been left behind in their haste to get Clarke back to the Ark after her grievous injuries. She was just picking up the little wooden wolf Lexa had carved for her all that time ago when she noticed Lexa’s rigid body. The alpha was giving off sour distress hormones.

“Lex, hey, what’s wrong?” Her eyes hadn’t yet found what Lexa was looking at. All she could see was her distraught alpha.

Troubled verdant eyes found hers. “I…” The tears Lexa was fighting to control slipped down her cheeks. “I hurt you. I almost killed you.”

Clarke’s eyes traveled to the far wall. She’d admit that some of her memories of the full events in the cave that night were fuzzy. She remembered almost everything up until she turned back into herself, but after that, things were almost blank. She had passed out. She hadn’t been aware of just how big the puddle of blood was that she was lying in, but looking at it now, she could see why Lexa was so upset. Even dried out, it was an impressive, if distressing, sight.

Clarke moved so that she was standing directly in front of Lexa, blocking her view of the dried blood.

“No, Lex. No. don’t do this. I am past this, and you need to be too.”

“I don’t think I will ever get past almost having killed you, Klark.” The alpha’s eyes slid to the dried blood again.

Clarke followed her gaze and left her side. She didn’t care that she was only wearing Lexa’s coat. She used her bare feet to kick dirt over the stain until it disappeared. 

“There, now it is gone, and I didn’t bring you here to remind you of what happened, I wanted to bring you here because this was my home…at least for a while.”

“Niron…”

“It was. It was my home, and it may not have been the happiest one, but it was still a home, and it brought me comfort to have it, especially when I was feeling especially lonely.” She held up her little wooden wolf figuring, the one that had been left behind.

“For as tiny as this is,” she held it out to Lexa who gingerly took it between two fingers, “to me it was, it is huge. When I was at my lowest, it gave me comfort, and it gave me hope, and most importantly, it gave me you.”

Clarke took it back from her and brought it to her nose. “It still smells like you, like how you smelled before we mated, and that is what kept me grounded. It kept me sane.”

“Klark.” The anguish is Lexa’s voice was clear. It wasn’t often that Lexa said her name that way. It was always in times of deep passion or deep sorrow, and it hurt her to hear Lexa say it just now.

“I said stop that.” She once again handed the little carving back to Lexa. “It reminded me that despite what had happened, I was loved, and it was that love that got me through my darkest, my loneliest, and my hungriest days.”

Another tear escaped the alpha’s eye. Clarke collected it on her index finger and rubbed it with her thumb until it was gone. “No more tears. This is behind us now, and it is a past that isn’t going to repeat itself.”

Lexa shook her head.

Clarke sat down and pulled Lexa with her. “If you need forgiveness, you have it. You have had it all this time, but if me saying it makes you feel better, then I will say it. You are forgiven…and you are loved, so very loved.” 

Lexa held back a sob, and finally looked hopeful.

“It was you who kept me going even though you weren’t here. It is thanks to you that I am alive, and it is thanks to you that I have finally accepted who I am and what I am. I didn’t bring you here because it makes me sad. I brought you here to let you know how happy I am.” She took both of Lexa’s hands in her hands.

“For the first time in my life, I am truly happy, and so much of that is because of you”

Troubled green eyes changed to ones of happiness. They spent a bit more time holding one another. “It’s time to go back,” Lexa sighed. “We need head to Polis to see what the Fleimkepa’s have found.”

Clarke removed the coat Lexa had given her and changed back into the wolf. They walked side by side back to the cabin. They spent the time wisely and worked on ways for Clarke to communicate with Lexa when she couldn’t speak. It was getting easier to read the omega’s body language, and she was coming up with new and creative ways to use her ears, claws, voice, and even whiskers to let Lexa know what she was trying to convey.

The journey back to Polis was thankfully uneventful. Someone had had the forethought to pack Clarke’s tablet, and she spent the long hours on horseback learning more about her and Heda’s possible ties to ancient Egypt. The Commander’s tower was just coming into view when Clarke let out a gasp.

“Holy shit.” She was using her fingers to try and make the image on her tablet larger. She held it up to Lexa who was never very far away from her. 

Lexa put the reins she was holding in one hand and grabbed the tablet in the other. She read the passage Clarke had enlarged for her. Her gaze turned toward her beloved capital city. 

“Lycopolis.” She said the one word reverently. The passage on the tablet showed Lexa an article. In it, the ancient city of Lycopolis, or city of wolves, was likely named that because of the deity Wepwawet. Could it be that Polis was named after her own wolf, Wanheda? She read further. Lycopolis didn’t have the same fame and ruins as other cities of that time, but it was a city where Wepwawet was the main deity, along with Anubis, and excavations during the time before Praimfaya found multiple mummies of wolves. She wondered if the mummies were previous incarnations of Wanheda.

“This is amazing. Do you think…”

“I do,” Clarke interrupted. “I know some of the Skai people think Polis was named after a city from before Praimfaya, but I think that’s not it. I think it was named after Lycopolis. It’s too much of a coincidence not to be true.”

“I think you may be right, niron.”

They had no time to settle when they reached the stables. They were ushered off their horses and whisked not into the tower, but to an older, crumbling building that served as a repository for old tek. It was a place that Clarke had never been to before.

“What is this place?” The golden-haired girl picked up a set of old wires having no idea what they could have been used for. “Don’t ever show Raven this place. She might never come out.”

Lexa chuckled, as did the guard who had escorted them to the place. Inside waited Titus and Gaia. They were both wearing their formal robes. They bowed deeply to Heda and then Wanheda although Titus’s bow may not have been as deep for Clarke. She also might have seen the slighted sneer as he bowed to her.

Gaia then rose and pulled Clarke into a heartfelt embrace. “I have missed you, my friend.” The dark-skinned beauty who previously had long light and dark braids that were so tightly woven they almost resembled dreadlocks now sported short-cropped blonde hair. It was a stunning look. She pulled aside the other omega’s collar looking at her mating mark. “I am so happy for you.”

She turned to Heda. She bowed again and reached out to grasp the alpha’s forearm. She smiled. “Anya and the nightbloods have done very well keeping everything running while you were gone.”

Titus, who was still standing rigidly in the background coughed. He clearly didn’t agree. Lexa snapped her head up. “Do you not agree, Titus?” Her tone was icy.

“They did an…adequate job.” He admitted begrudgingly.

“So please tell me why we are here and not being allowed to rest after our long journey. What have you found that is so important?”

Lexa’s displeasure was leaking out. She knew what had been found was important, but she would have liked a rest. Clarke, especially after so long, was tired after so many hours on horseback. A few times, she had gotten off her horse and walked next to them either as herself or as the wolf, but as they got closer to the city, they moved through more villages and saw more people. She’d had to ride then, keeping her back straight and her face neutral. Lexa had been proud of her. She radiated power and strength, and she didn’t flinch when a few called her Wanheda. Apparently, her story was reaching the people of the Coalition, and even though most had never heard of Wanheda, they seemed to accept her.

When they were getting close to Polis earlier, they had to go through one of the larger villages. A crowd was waiting to greet them, and one little boy had pulled on Clarke’s pant leg and asked if she really could turn into a wolf. She told him the truth, and thankfully when he asked if she could show him, his mother pulled him away, apologizing for her son. She told her it wasn’t necessary to apologize then looked at the boy. “I promise that one day soon, I will come back and show you.” She winked at the excited child as they rode away. She could see him tearing off to tell his friends. 

“You handled that well, Wanheda,” Stryker said. Both him and Ryder had been flanking their Hedas for the entire journey back to Polis. Amara, who had won Lexa’s dagger during the hunting game because of her speed and agility, turned out to be the perfect forward scout for them. She rode well ahead of their party keeping them informed of any issues that may arise. 

Titus cleared his throat, pulling her from her thoughts. “Heda, what we have found could change everything. It is sacred, and I think it would be best if we kept this between our order and you, Heda. I think that perhaps Wanheda should remain…”

“If you want to keep your tongue, Flaimkepa, I suggest you don’t say another word. Not only is Clarke my houmon, but she is also Wanheda. Just because you only recently found out about her place in our history does not give you the right to try and withhold new information from her. You will treat her exactly as you treat me, or I will see to it that you are stripped of your robes and your title.” Lexa let out a small blast of pheromones, knocking the man back a step.

Titus’s eyes briefly widened. He then bowed his head and stepped back. “Moba (sorry), Heda. I will let the ambassadors know that you have returned.” 

He left the room and instantly the mood improved. Gaia gave Lexa a wide smile. “He has been insufferable since you left. He’s been bossing Anya and the natblidas around, and a few times I feared the General would kick him off one of the balconies.”

“I kind of wish she had. It would save me the trouble of having to do it myself.” She sighed. “I am assuming that this is your find and he has tried to take credit for it.”

Gaia gave her Commander a knowing smirk. “You know he did. His pomposity knows no bounds. He may have been my mentor, but I fear he has lost his way, and the power he has held until now has gone to his head.”

“It’s true. He has been trying to mold me into his image of what a Commander should be for years. He was very against the formation of the Coalition”

Clarke, who hadn’t really been paying attention because she was tired, turned her head. “Who is against trying to unite people in peace?”

“He is. He felt I should take charge and make the clans bow to me as their alpha Commander. He wanted me to make everyone submit. He has forgotten that we are all equals here. I think it would be easy for him to be swayed by the Ark Council’s way of thinking.”

Clarke growled. Talk of Titus was making her irritable. She wanted a nap. 

The growl got stuck in her throat. It struck her that it had been months since she had been in the tower. Had arrangements been made to move her into Lexa’s quarters? She was Lexa’s mate now, so surely someone had made the necessary accommodations, but what if they hadn’t. She couldn’t go back to her old chamber. Not after what happened with Pike and everything else. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to step foot in those rooms again.

Sensing Clarke’s mood but not knowing what was causing it, Lexa stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright, hodnes?”

Clarke shook off her bad mood and her insecurities and blamed her fatigue. “I am. I’m just tired. Let’s see what we are here to see, and then if it’s a possibility at all, I would kill for a hot bath and a nap.” 

Lexa smiled and nuzzled Clarke’s mating mark. “That can be arranged, niron. Let me just run and tell a guard. It will be ready for you when we are done.”

“Mochof, ai alpha (Thank you, my alpha).”

Gaia led them to a hatch in the floor. Lexa asked how she found it as the omega was lifting the heavy metal plate. “That’s not important right now, but what lies beneath is. Come see.”

Gaia grabbed a torch and climbed down a ladder. Clarke followed and Lexa took up the rear. As Gaia got lower, florescent lights began to click on. Clarke shivered. It felt eerily familiar to being in the Ark.

The room had solid cement walls and was otherwise empty. “What is this place?” Clarke wondered.

“It appears to be a bunker from before the bombs,” Lexa replied.

“That’s correct, but again, that’s not what is important. Follow me.” Gait walked to the only door in the room. She opened it and it led to an almost cavernous room. Again, it was brightly lit with florescent lighting, but she walked right through it, ignoring Lexa and Clarke’s natural curiosity of the place. “We are almost there,” she said.

Clarke really wanted to know how it was being powered but kept the thought to herself

She took them through a long stark hall. Again, Clarke thought of the Ark, but instead of metal walls they were concrete. 

Lexa shuddered. “It’s cold.”

Clarke hadn’t noticed. 

After another minute, they had arrived wherever it was that Gaia was taking them. She opened another door. It was thick and heavy, similar to a vault door. Lexa had to help her to get it all the way open. The room in front of them was not lit as the others had been. It was dark and must have been why Gaia had the torch. 

The Keyronkepa (spirit keeper) entered first, using her torch to light the vast chamber. Sandy-gold light filtered the air. The Commander took three steps in then halted so abruptly that Clarke, who was behind her, smacked into her back.

“Lex, what the hell.” Clarke was rubbing her nose, having smashed it on her houmon’s shoulder blade.

The alpha didn’t apologize. She couldn’t. Her mouth was agape, and she had been rendered speechless.

Clarke was so consumed by what was wrong with her wife that she didn’t look around until Lexa pointed a shaking finger.

Clarke’s gasp filled the still air and she unconsciously raised her fist to her mouth to keep any further sounds from coming out. Her eyes raked over the room and then back to Lexa.

“How is it possible? It’s the temple…”

“of Karnak…from our dream.” Lexa finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, so not only are they sharing dreams, the Temple of Karnak exists under Polis too? And, Polis might be short for Lycopolis. Hmm.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I had to do my own editing, so please forgive any mistakes. My beta will be back in action soon to give advice and fix my mistakes. Editing sucks.

Chapter 20

Clarke’s eyes roved over the room. Maybe it was rooms, but her feet were rooted to where she stood, and she was unable to move, making it impossible to explore. 

“How is this possible?” She wondered.

Lexa was shaking her head. “It must be a replica of the temple.” She, unlike Clarke, had gotten over her shock and was able to move again. She walked up to what must have been an altar piece, dragging her hand through the dust on the top of it. She looked back through the door of the temple at the harsh blue-white lighting. It reminded her of the lighting in Arkadia, and she wondered how it was possible that this place had the same kind of power while none of the rest of the city did. She would have to ask Gaia about it later.

“Someone took a lot of time to replicate it,” she said as she wiped the dust off her finger. “The cost would have been astronomical.”

A hand on the small of her back let her know that Clarke had finally moved from her spot in the doorway. “But why?”

Gaia finished lighting her last candle. “Isn’t it obvious? To worship the two of you.”

Golden hair swung back and forth, adamantly refusing to believe this.

Lexa stopped Clarke’s frantic motion. “Clarke look around. It’s exactly like our dream.” She moved throughout the room, still dragging her finger over the level surfaces around her. To the left of the alter, which Lexa thought strange since they weren’t in the middle, were two thrones. One was an exact copy of the one she had been sitting in during their shared dream. The one next to it was similar but had the embossed image of what had to be an early representation of Wanheda. The image was one of a half man (or woman in this case) and half wolf. The being stood tall and proud with a shock of thick hair flowing down its back.

Lexa traced the image, turned and sat in her throne. Her hands instantly flew to her head. She felt a building pressure behind her eyes, and she wheezed. For a moment everything turned black. After that she was assailed by images of all the past Commander’s with Wanheda. Flash after flash took her from the time of the Pharaohs all the way up to Sheidheda. She was witness to battles fought and won, to times of turmoil and times of peace, and to the love shared between all the Hedas and Wanhedas. Even Sheidheda had loved Wanheda, but he loved his power more, and he was cruel to her and her people. He was so desperate to command subservience from all his people that he lost his way, and thus, lost Wanheda. 

Things went black again, and Lexa felt the vast emptiness as the world cried out for its lost Wanheda. Generations floundered because of her absence and chaos ensued. The Commanders before her but after Sheidhead had failed because their soulmate was missing. They never found their Wanheda. Because of this, the clans fought each other and themselves, and she could feel that the world was at a precipice where if it fell, it would end. That changed when an oppressed blonde omega fell from the sky. 

Lexa could feel it, just as she could feel the blood flowing through her veins. The assault on her senses lessened and things inside her calmed again, and instead of seeing images of battles, pain and death, she saw possibilities, possibilities of peace, and happiness, and love. 

She next saw an image of a pure black wolf with a white mask of fur, and she knew if she reached out and grabbed it, it would be hers. It would be her, but she rejected this image. The only wolf god this world needed was Wanheda. She was special. She was powerful. She was singular. Two wolves would serve what purpose? None, except to prove power and dominance, and that was not what this world needed right now. If Lexa accepted the wolf into herself, she knew the world would topple off the precipice it had been on until Clarke appeared.

While it was the hardest thing Lexa had ever done, she turned away from the image of the wolf, of the creature she could be. In her periphery, she saw it bow its head to her, accepting her decision. She was bathed in warmth. The vision had been a test, and she had passed. 

She could have become the wolf, but she would have also become the opposite of everything she had strived for. Just as with her fur, she would have been the dark to Clarke’s light. The possibility that she would have been corrupted by her new power was very real, and Lexa did not want that kind of temptation. No couple should wield such power. 

There was no regret when she saw the wolf walk away and vanish into the aether. She took in a huge gulp of air and opened her eyes. Clarke was kneeling, nearly beside herself with worry, and Gaia merely stood, her expression calm. She cocked an eyebrow at her Heda.

“You saw something,” the Keyronkepa stated. Lexa nodded. “I have seen snippets of things too,” Gaia didn’t elaborate, “ever since I found this place.”

Clarke, who was still thoroughly freaked out asked, “What things? What did you see?”

Lexa swept her hand to the side indicating that Clarke should sit in her throne. Clarke shook her head. “No. No way. I don’t want to.” She saw what sitting had done to Lexa, and she didn’t want it to happen to her. 

“It will be okay, ai tombom (my heart). Just sit.”

Clarke was hesitant. She approached the chair like it was a thing that could bite her. She leaned forward and put her hand on the seat of it first, then both hands. She turned to sit but at the last minute she stood again. 

“Wanheda,” Gaia spoke up. “It is your throne. It has been throughout time. Sit.” It was a gentle command; one Clarke finally heeded.

Just as with Lexa, as soon as she sat, she was flooded with visions of the past, the present, and the future. Lexa watched, uneasy, but she let it happen. Her omega was slumped, completely inert in the throne except for the movement of her eyes under closed lids.

Gaia stepped next to Lexa and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Is she seeing what I saw?” Lexa whispered.

“Only she will be able to answer that, but I suspect it is similar.”

It wasn’t long before clear blue eyes popped open. “You were tested. You could have been like me,” Clarke said it almost regretfully, “but it would have turned out badly…after a while.” 

She spanned the gap between the two thrones and grabbed Lexa’s hand. “I would have liked to have seen you as the wolf, even if it was only once, but I understand why you couldn’t accept it.”

“If I had, there would have been no power on this Earth that could have stopped us. There need to be checks and balances, and if you and I wielded that much power the scale would have tipped and never righted itself.”

Gaia was grinning at them. “That is why the spirits chose the two of you to be Heda and Wanheda. You both carry wisdom far beyond your years.”

Lexa stood and pulled Clarke up with her. The omega wobbled until her alpha helped her catch her balance. 

“Visions can be tiring, and I fear the two of you will need to retire for the rest of the day after your journey.” Gaia made for the door.

“We can rest in a minute. I want to look around.” Clarke was already moving to explore the temple recreation.

She picked up objects, some that she thought were real relics from times before, studied the hieroglyphics, stood in awe of the statues of men and gods from long ago, but stopped when she got to a two statues that could only have been herself and Lexa, well, really Ramesses and Wepwawet. 

“Do you know who built this place?” She asked Gaia.

“I have found some texts, and I believe it was a man named Bill Cadogen. Many deemed him a cult leader and religious zealot. He founded a group called the Second Dawn before Praimfaya. It was a time when belief in the spirits had waned, and the leaders around the world were so corrupt that they caused what was almost the end of the world.” Gaia walked over and studied the tall statues that Clarke was staring up at. Lexa joined them.

“I think this bunker may have been built to house his followers and protect them from the apocalypse. This room was where they worshipped you.”

“Not me,” Clarke denied. 

“You have always been Wanheda, strik pakstoka (little wolf).”

“Maybe I am now, but that wasn’t me thousands of years ago.” Clarke was steadfast in that belief.

“Then how did you have those visions just now? How is it that you are sharing dreams with your houmon?” Gaia challenged. 

“I don’t know.” Admitting her ignorance made her realize that it was possible her spirit had been travelling through time and manifesting into other incarnations of Wanheda. Was it reincarnation? Clarke couldn’t be sure. She doubted she ever would be, but the visions, her ability change, and even this temple spoke to the fact that Wanheda was real and had been for a very long time.

They spent another hour wandering the recreated temple, and the more they discovered, the more they were sure that Bill Cadogan, who they learned was also called the Shepard, had gone to great lengths to pillage the original structure and bring as much of it back to the bunker as he could.

“As far as we can tell, Heda and Wanheda did not exist in his time. He worshipped you like gods, just like the people of their time worshipped their one god. He was persecuted for it, but he and his followers persevered.” Gaia held a crumbling journal in her hands.

“What happened to him and his followers?” It was Lexa who asked.

The Keyronkepa shrugged her shoulders. “That’s unclear. There is some evidence that they may have inhabited the bunker for quite some time, but then it is as if they disappeared. I’m guessing they left and returned to the ground when it was habitable again.”

Lexa took the journal and leafed through a couple of the pages. “There is no record of their time down here?”

“Not that I have found yet. Titus was unsettled by the discovery of the bunker, and especially the temple. He was been blocking most of my efforts to discover more.”

Lexa made a low sound in her throat. It wasn’t exactly a growl, but it was a sound of deep displeasure.

“As Keyronkepa, you no longer need to abide by his rules. This,” she made a sweeping gesture with her arms, “goes far beyond the Fleimkepas and their Order. Gather everything you have found. Keep it safe and away from him. You are free to do anything it takes to learn as much as you can about this but keep it a secret from anyone who isn’t me or Wanheda for now.”

Gaia bowed to her Heda. “You know he is going to show his extreme disapproval at this.”

Lexa scoffed. “When doesn’t he? Do you know I have never seen that man smile?”

“Nor have I.” Gaia confessed.

“Ass.” Clarke pronounced from somewhere behind them making the other two women laugh. She had wandered off to look at something. The blonde omega suddenly spun on her heels.

“You know who else is an ass? Charles Pike. Where is he? I think he deserves a face to face meeting with Wanheda.” Clarke had a wicked gleam in her eyes. She put down the object she was holding.

“He is in the dungeons, hodnes. If it is truly your desire to confront the man, I will take you to him, but not until after you have rested.” Lexa looked to Gaia. “Would you please let Titus know that I wish to speak to him in three hours’ time?”

“Of course, Heda. Expect a fight from him. Everything he has believed is being torn apart by Wanheda’s reappearance and this new discovery. He’s not going to like letting go of the old ways. He’s also not going to want to accept that this is the way it was always supposed to be.”

“I understand. Don’t worry about him. I will handle it.” Of this, Gaia had no doubt.

“Be careful. He’s a walking contradiction. He tries to take credit for these new discoveries at the same time as denying they exist. It’s going to make him as irritable and as dangerous as a two-headed snake.”

They spent only a little time in the rest of the bunker. They would explore it another time. The time on horseback then the revelations and visions had taken their toll on the two mates. Heda, rose to push through her exhaustion but wasn’t about to make her mate do the same. 

After climbing the ladder to get out of the bunker, Lexa had Gaia seal it shut. She noticed that Gaia locked it with a golden medallion hanging from a chain around her neck. Lexa made a note to herself to ask about it later.

Once Lexa was assured that no one was opening the bunker unless Gaia allowed it, she relaxed, but she took an extra measure and posted guards to keep it secure around the clock. 

There was little fanfare upon their arrival. It was the way Lexa wanted it. Over the next few days, she would introduce Clarke as her mate. She would then slowly introduce them to Wanheda. Because the history of Wanheda had been hidden, it might take some time for the people to accept that Wanheda, like Heda, was real. If the need arose, she would let Clarke take matters into her own hands and have her show them the wolf, but if at all possible, she didn’t want that to happen.

They had spoken at length about how to approach Jaha and Arkadia, and when the time was right, she wanted Thelonius to think that he had won. She wanted him to believe that her houmon was a meek shell of the person she used to be. Neither of them wanted to risk him experimenting with more of his chips if he found he had failed with Clarke. This simplified version of the plan would need to be flushed out with her General and several other select members of a team she was putting together in her head.

Indra and Octavia were already privy to most of what was expected to happen, but any leader worth his or her salt knew that plans changed constantly. No plan ever went off without a hitch. That was why it was vital for Octavia to gather as much information as she could before they made their move.

Clarke leaned heavily on Lexa as they entered the elevator. The contraption usually made the omega nervous, but she was too tired to care. She still didn’t know what the living arrangements were going to be, but she didn’t ask. She knew there was no way Lexa would have her anywhere but in her own chambers, and she was right. 

When they got off the elevator, they walked directly past her old rooms. Lexa didn’t even give it a glance, but the relief that rolled of Clarke didn’t go unnoticed.

“I know the memories of what happened the last time you were in those rooms probably haunts you. If it makes you uncomfortable to be so close to them, we can move to a different floor. There are plenty of empty accommodations.” Lexa said this as she opened the doors to her suite of rooms. There were two guards posted on either side of the door, and two more further down the hall.

One look around as they stepped inside had Clarke shaking her head. She didn’t know how her alpha had gotten it done, but there were many new touches to the room that let her know that these rooms no longer belonged just to Lexa. They now belonged to her too. 

Some of her old things had been moved in, but there were new touches as well. The woven blanket that she favored when taking a nap was draped over the couch. There was also a new, colorful rug that Clarke had seen in the markets ages ago and pointed out to Lexa. That Lexa had remembered and somehow procured it left Clarke feeling warm and loved.

There was a desk near the window with paper, pencils and art supplies waiting for her, and there were multiple bouquets of her favorite flowers spread across the room. How Lexa had gotten them while it was so cold outside left her baffled.

Clarke was so moved by the changes that she launched herself at her alpha, pulling her into a searing kiss. When they pulled apart, Clarke had tears in her eyes.

“Thank you for this. You have no idea how much it means to me.”

“It was nothing, ai houmon.”

“Maybe not to you,” she kissed Lexa again, “but it is everything to me.”

Lexa snuggled with her omega, taking in a deep breath of their shared scent. Being home, with her mate in her arms provided a comfort like no other. She knew she needed to see Titus in a few hours, and she knew she should probably speak with Anya and the nightbloods, but in that moment, none of that mattered. She finally had her omega home where she belonged. It was something that not too long ago she thought wasn’t going to happen. 

The last time Lexa herself had been in her rooms, she thought Clarke was dead. She hadn’t been home since that fateful day that they went to hunt the white wolf never imagining that it was the omega she loved and missed so much.

That day would forever cause a war of conflicting emotions in her. She had been at her lowest when they set out to hunt the beast that she knew had killed Clarke. There was a sadness in her, but also a building anger, and she knew she wasn’t going to come home that day until the beast was dead.

Then there were the feelings of utter devastation but also elation when she realized the wolf was Clarke. She had her love back, but at such a high cost. She almost killed the woman she thought was already dead. 

She squeezed Clarke a little too hard and the omega squeaked. 

“Ai hod yu in,” she whispered into Clarke’s ear. “The last time I was here, I thought I had lost you forever. I would stand on the balcony for hours in the cold, not caring if I caught a chill. I would look at the view and try to see it the way you had the first time you had stood out there, but I couldn’t do it. The world was dark and gray while you weren’t in it.”

Clarke rubbed the tip of her nose over the mating mark on Lexa’s neck and the alpha shivered.

“I am here now, Lex, and I am never leaving you. Not ever again.” She bit lightly at the mark. “I love you too, so much that sometimes it hurts.”

They kissed one more time before parting. “I believe you promised me a hot bath. I hope you planned to join me.”

“I did, hodnes, and I would be happy to join you.”

They sat together in the blissfully hot water, and Clarke felt like it had been months since she’d had a proper bath. 

It hadn’t been that long, of course, but it felt that way. The tub in the cabin had been more of a trough. It was for washing, not luxuriating. Heda’s tub though, this one was built for luxury. It was so big in could almost qualify as a small wading pool, and it had been filled with spicy scented oils. There was creamy soap and soft clothes to bathe with, and gently heated, fist-sized round stones to rub over sore muscles. 

She was leaning forward, and Lexa was washing her hair. This was the best thing of all, and it had Clarke purring. Of all the things she had ever experience on Earth, the sensation of Lexa’s fingertips massaging her head was one of the top things she had ever felt. She blushed when she realized that all the best things she had ever felt came from her houmon.

“You are blushing, strik pakstoka (little wolf). What are you thinking about?” Lexa leaned in to kiss Clarke’s bare shoulder.

The omega’s blushed deepened. “I was thinking about you,” she admitted.

Lexa moved to kiss the other shoulder, and then Clarke’s neck. “Let me finish your hair,” she sneaked a hand around to gently caress Clarke’s center, “and then I can make you blush some more.”

It was hours later, and Clarke was snuggled up under her favorite blanket on the couch. After being thoroughly ravished by her wife, causing half of the water to spill out of the tub, Lexa had carried her exhausted omega over to the couch to nap. 

Lexa had wanted to put her in the bed, but Clarke protested saying that if she got into the bed, she wouldn’t get out of it again until the next morning, and she had a sudden desperate urge to see her fos (first) and friend, Anya. She had missed the salty alpha, and wanted to tell her everything about the cabins, being mated, how she could change at will, Octavia, and the hunting game. 

It was this girlish need that woke her from her nap, and knowing that Anya would be patient and listen, even while cringing because Anya was anything but girly, Clarke needed her friend.

Lexa had tasked her with telling Anya about what Jaha had done to her. There would be nothing girly about that, and Clarke thought it a good thing that the copper-eyed alpha was far away in Polis because the blonde knew that as soon as the General heard what had been done, she would want to flatten the Ark and everyone in it. 

She slowly stood from the couch and stretched. She kept on the comfortable clothing that Lexa had helped her into after their bath, and she padded out of their rooms in only her stocking feet. She knew where she would find Anya, and she was right. The alpha was in the weapons room.

It also served as a training room, and she found Anya clad in only a loose tank top and shorts. Her bare feet spun on the ground as the alpha gracefully maneuvered her staff through the air. This wasn’t an exercise in war, this was an exercise in meditation and relaxation. 

Clarke watched as she moved fluidly through her routine. It was one the omega had watched many times, and it captivated her just as much this time as it had the first. 

By nature, her mentor was hard-edged and serious. She had to be to be Lexa’s general. She was a no-nonsense person that wouldn’t hesitate to knock someone on their ass to teach them a lesson, but this Anya, the one who moved elegantly through the room could have been a ballet dancer in another lifetime. Her movements we soft, with an eloquence that spoke to years of practice, and it was a mesmerizing sight.

When Clarke had first become Anya’s second, she had asked the alpha to teach her this routine. It had ended up with her in a puddle, swiping mud out of her eyes. Clarke wasn’t built for such grace, and Anya wasn’t built with the patience to teach it to her. They only ever attempted it once before Anya refused to try it again. She wondered if Anya would change her mind if she asked again. She was a very different person from who she was that first time, and with the new understanding she had of herself, she thought that perhaps if they were to try again, she would have at least some success.

Anya caught her eye for the briefest of moments, but she didn’t stop what she was doing. She continued to move and sway until she reached the end of next sequence. Then she dropped her staff with a loud clatter, and with lightning speed was sweeping Clarke off her feet.

“Ai strik pakstoka (my little wolf), I missed you” She swirled Clarke around and pulled her in for a fierce hug. When she was done, she held Clarke out at arm’s length, moved her golden tresses, and smiled proudly at the mating mark on the omega’s neck.

“You officially out rank me now, little omega” Anya’s grin was contagious. It was so rare to see a big, toothy grin on the alpha’s face that Clarke found herself matching it. 

Anya moved to show her respect for Clarke’s new elevated position, but when she started to move her neck and submit to the blonde, Clarke stopped her.

“Don’t you dare.” Clarke had her hand on Anya’s chin, keeping her from turning her head. “Don’t ever submit to me.”

“Your new status kind of demands that I do.” Anya, though, didn’t move her head again.

“No. I don’t want that. Never from you.”

Anya took a step backwards and bowed instead. “Is that better?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. She grabbed Anya’s hand and pulled her out of the room and back toward her and Lexa’s quarters. “Enough of this status skrish (shit). I have so much to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think of Karnak? There are still more questions about it that need to be answered, but they will come in time.
> 
> Can I just say, I love Clarke and Anya's relationship. What they have is so special.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta is back, and I am forever thankful for that. 
> 
> We get some good, fluffy Clarke and Anya time in this chapter, and poor Pike is going to have a rough day.

Chapter 21

Anya couldn’t do anything more than blink at Clarke after the tale she told. She was seething with anger at what that joka (fucker) Jaha had done to her. She wanted to storm the Ark, but she had promised Clarke that she would remain calm. She was also kicking herself for not recognizing that something had been devastatingly wrong with Clarke when she had said goodbye to her seken (second) two weeks prior.

She had mistaken Clarke’s behavior that day for nerves about her impending mating to Heda, and Anya cursed herself as a fool for missing the omega’s very obvious distress. How could she have missed the signs that it wasn’t just nerves? She appeared calm now, but what had happened to Clarke was insidious and it was evil, and even though her outward appearance looked fine, she knew that there would always be lasting effects due to what Jaha had done to her. 

She knew the omega would never forget the days she suffered; those days after having had her essence ripped out of her. 

She sat back and looked at Clarke with new eyes. It had always been clear the omega was strong. She had proven that on the day she burned three hundred of Anya’s men. The alpha had hated the omega that day, but she also had a begrudging respect for her. The alpha remembered clearly the first few hours after the ring of fire. The Sky delinquents had called for her death, all except Clarke. She’d had the wisdom to realize that they needed a truce with the grounders. They had won the one battle, but it was only a matter of time before the grounders would demolish them. In the omega’s wisdom, she’d had the foresight to realize that she needed to proposition the grounder Commander if they were going to survive, and Anya had reluctantly agreed to drag the irritating omega to see her Heda.

Clarke had then bravely marched with Anya to meet Heda only to have the alpha truss her up like the hunter’s latest catch at the last minute. Clarke had put up a fierce fight, even with her hands bound and a sack over her head. Anya knew without a doubt that there was no other Sky person, and probably no other grounder, that would have fought like that while surrounded by the most powerful people on the Earth. The omega had a power that very few people possessed. Clarke’s inner strength was one that was in direct contrast to her outer appearance. 

Anya remembered the first time she saw Clarke. She had been scrawny and small, painfully so. She had been malnourished and far too thin, and Anya had severely underestimated her because of her petite and seemingly fragile stature. It had been easy to imagine the omega as a passive weakling, easily dominated and trodden upon. Clarke had never been weak, but she had been dominated and trodden upon on the Ark. 

The only time Clarke truly had been weak, by no fault of her own, was when she had been forced to return to her people. Clarke had already been living with the grounders for some time. She was assimilating and becoming one of them, but then the rest of her people had fallen from the sky, and they started making demands. One of them was the return of their people. In the name of peace, Clarke went back, with devastating effects. It was in that place, with those people, that she was so poorly treated that she had fallen ill. 

She had been stuck in the confines of the fallen Ark for two months before the grounders met with representatives from Camp Jaha, and by that time, Clarke had been in the full-blown throws of Omega Stress Disorder. Anya remembered how weak and passive she had been then. All the light and life and been forced out of the omega. 

It took a lot for an omega to slip into the deep stages of OSD, but the people of the Ark had succeeded in beating the strong-willed blonde down in only two months. It was only Lexa that kept Anya from killing everyone in the camp that day.

Anya wanted to cry thinking that Clarke had been severely mistreated again while in that place. Yes, it was where she received the treatment that kept her alive after being shot full of arrows, but it was also the place where Jaha had taken her by surprise and shoved that chip down her throat.

Anya groaned. She was so angry with herself that she missed the signs of exactly how distressed her seken was that she wanted to slam her own head against the wall until she was a bloody mess.

“Stop beating yourself up, Anya. If I had wanted you to know what happened to me, you would have.” Clarke watched closely as her fos’ face morphed from anger to anguish.

“But I did know that something was wrong. I foolishly assumed you were nervous to mate Heda.” Anya shook her head. “Joken branwoda (fucking fool),” she said of herself.

“I said to stop it.” Clarke moved so that she was sitting directly across from Anya. She took her hands and made the alpha look at her. “I am over it.”

Anya went to protest, but Clarke stopped her. “I am. Yes, I will always remember it, and yes, I will always remember how it made me feel, but I am stronger for it. It made me realize who I am, and what I am, and I will not deny myself any longer.”

Clarke squeezed the alpha’s hands before letting them go. “I am over it, and I need you to be too. I need you focused on what lies ahead, and more importantly, I need my friend. I need you to be strong for me and not pity me.”

“I don’t pity you, Clarke.” Dark eyes found light. “I am angry for you though. Don’t expect me to be able to push that aside.” She nervously brushed her hands against her thighs. 

“You’re my best friend,” Anya admitted, barely audible, “and it hurts and angers me that you have suffered so much at their, and our, hands.”

Clarke’s eyes began to glisten, matching Anya’s own watery eyes. “You’re my best friend too.” She whispered as she crawled into Anya’s lap and hugged her tight. 

This is how Lexa found them, and it was the soothing balm she needed after her contentious argument with Titus. Any other alpha might have gotten jealous or angry finding her omega in another alpha’s arms, especially an unmated one, but not Lexa, not when it was Anya.

Anya and Clarke had a special friendship. It wasn’t dissimilar to the one Lexa herself had with the other alpha, and it made the Commander smile. Anya didn’t give her friendship easily. It was hard fought and had to be earned, but her omega had effortlessly wheedled her way into Anya’s heart once the two got over the event at the dropship.

She sat down next to Anya and chuckled when her sleepy omega reached out a hand for her. “I see you two have caught up with one another.” Lexa reached a hand out to Anya, and the older alpha took it. “I have missed you, my friend.”

“And I you.” Anya lowered her eyes. “I feel like I have let you down, Heda. I should have known they would do something to Clarke.”

Clarke growled from Anya’s lap. “If I have to tell you to stop it one more time, I’m going to change and bite your butt with my fangs.”

Lexa laughed. “She’s right. It’s over, and it worked out in the end. I assure you Jaha will pay a steep price for what he has done.”

Anya ignored her. She was still focused on what Clarke had said. “Have you been able to change again?”

Clarke shifted and smiled proudly. “I have, and it’s easy now.”

“Does it hurt?” Anya was curious. 

“It does, a little, but not like it used to, and I can do it fast.” She was still grinning.

“Would you like to see the temple?” Lexa asked Anya, not meaning to change the subject. 

Anya shook her head in confusion. “What temple?”

Clarke got off Anya’s lap and sat in the middle of the two alphas. “I hadn’t gotten to that part yet, and I haven’t told her about Octavia yet either.”

It was Lexa who told Anya about the temple and the Skai alpha.

Anya stood and paced the room. “That joken little alpha was in love with you?” Anya was floored. “That was what was wrong with her? Unjoken believable.”

“She thought she was in love with me, but I don’t think that is what it was. Maybe it was infatuation, or lust, but not love. Either way, we worked out her differences.”

Clarke told Anya exactly how she worked those differences out, and the General’s laughed boomed off the walls.

“I wish I could have seen that.” Anya looked at Clarke. “Do you think…would you…”

“You want to see me change?” Clarke asked knowingly.

Anya nodded eagerly. “I would. Very much.”

“Let me go undress. I don’t need to ruin another set of clothes.” Clarke stalked off to the bathroom. When she came out, she was naked. Anya looked at her and whimpered when she saw the scars left behind by the arrows, her arrows.

“What did I tell you earlier?” Clarke demanded to know.

“To stop it.” Anya hung her head. It hurt to know she caused her friend pain and left scars as a reminder of what she had done.

“Good. Then do what I said.”

Lexa shivered and walked over to Clarke. “I love it when you are bossy.”

“I know you do. Now let me do my thing.” Lexa stepped out of the way.

Anya watched in awe as Clarke changed from a human into a wolf, and she would be forever thankful that it was so fast that she could hardly hear the breaking of bones. When the white wolf stood before her, she stared, transfixed. The omega was beautiful.

She hadn’t been able to appreciate that the last time she saw Clarke as the wolf, but now, being able to study her, she realized that she may never have seen anything as astounding and so wonderful as the omega before her.

She tentatively reached out a hand. Clarke took a step forward and lowered her head so that Anya could rest her palm between her ears. 

The alpha looked at Lexa. “It is uncanny how similar her mask is to yours.” Anya traced a finger between Clarke’s eyes and up between her ears. The omega pushed her head into the touch. She would never tell anyone but being petted felt just as good as getting her hair washed by her houmon. 

She let Anya explore her just as she had let the baby pauna. Anya touched her ears, traced the pad of her thumb over her eyes then stood on her toes so her hand could travel down the expanse of Clarke’s long back. She then very carefully touched Clarke’s tail and moved down to lift a giant back paw.

Anya took a few steps back so she could survey the enormous omega from the side. Both Anya’s and Lexa’s mass put together wouldn’t even come close to equaling that of Clarke’s wolf form.

“How is it possible for such a tiny person to turn into such a huge wolf?” She was mostly asking herself.

She walked over to Clarke and made Lexa chortle when she ducked slightly and walked under Clarke’s middle to pop out on the other side.

She startled when Clarke let out a small bark and lifted her lips at her. She looked at Lexa. “I…uh…is she threatening me?”

“No,” Lexa was still chuckling. “She is laughing. I know it doesn’t look like it, but she is grinning at you.”

Anya turned to face Clarke again. “If that is a smile, then I would hate to see your sneer.”

Clarke unexpectedly let out a rumble and lifted her lips in a snarl showing off her long, sharp fangs. Anya stumbled a few steps back in surprise. Clarke followed and used her muzzle to knock Anya on her ass.

“Hey.”

She towered over Anya and stared down at her with almost glowing yellow eyes. She saw the alpha shiver and had mercy on her. She whipped out her giant tongue and slobbered it over Anya’s entire face, sat back on her haunches and barked.

“That’s so gross.” Anya used the tail of her shirt to wipe her face while Lexa practically rolled on the floor laughing at her fos.

Anya looked up, after cleaning her face, and grinned. “Raven is going to be so jealous of that tongue.”

This time Lexa really did fall on the floor in uncontrolled hysterics. Clarke moved back over and got Anya with her tongue again. 

“Just because I said Raven would be jealous doesn’t mean I wanted you to do that again.” She wiped her face again. “Look how soaked my shirt is now.”

Lexa had tears streaming down her eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed so hard.

Anya dodged when Clarke tried to get her one last time. She jumped and tried to tackle the wolf. She grabbed Clarke around the neck, but her arms wouldn’t reach. Then she tried to jump on the omega’s back, but a well-placed paw sent her sprawling. 

The alpha was quick to get on her feet, and soon the giant wolf, and, by comparison tiny alpha, were wrestling across the room. Anya was losing badly but would not be deterred. Watching Anya play fight with Clarke was like watching a warrior try to wrestle with a giant oak tree.

The wrestling went on for maybe for ten minutes before Anya collapsed onto her back, huffing and out of breath. Clarke hadn’t even been fazed. She lowered herself onto the floor and rested her head on Anya’s belly. She started to purr.

“I think that is her way of saying she missed you while we were gone.”

Clarke chuffed in agreement. They stayed like that, content, for a few minutes before Clarke got up and padded over to Lexa. She dug her head into Lexa’s neck, still purring. Lexa reached up with both arms to hug the omega’s massive form. The tenor of Clarke’s purr increased.

“I love you too, ai houmon.”

The next order of business did not involve another visit to the temple. Clarke was eager, no, eager was not the correct word. Clarke was ready. She was ready to confront Pike.

Lexa and Anya led her through the dank halls that headed down to the dungeons. She dragged a hand along one of the walls and it came away wet. They reached a flight of stairs, and although Clarke didn’t need it, Lexa held onto her in case she lost her balance on the slippery steps. 

“Careful, hodnes.”

She didn’t shake off the help. She adored that Lexa was there for her now and would always be in the future.

As they got close, Clarke realized just how horrible an existence in the dungeons was. It was wet and cold, and it was dark. Aside from the flames from a few widely spaced torches, there was no other light. She wondered if the torches were ever put out thus depriving the prisoners of anything to see by. She could imagine that it would be easy to go crazy in a place like this and wondered if a sentence of death was better than being imprisoned in one of these cells.

When they reached the corridor that led to Pike’s cell, Lexa pointed. He was at the very end and being held far from the others. Clarke knew it was purposeful; an extra punishment for what he had done to Clarke.

The omega swallowed hard. Thoughts of that day raced through her mind, unbidden. She almost turned to go back when she remembered the feeling of his hand around her neck and his forcing her submission. They were unwelcome memories, but she took a deep breath, pulled her shoulders back and continued walking. When she was two doors away, she turned to her companions. 

“I need to do this on my own.”

Both alphas tried to argue, but Clarke held firm. If she were to live up to her new title, then she needed to do this without their aid.

“Sha, hodnes. Okay.” Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand then backed off.

“Just holler,” Anya advised, “if you get uncomfortable. We will be at the end of the corridor.”

She looked at the guard who was standing not too far way. “Take a thirty-minute break.”

He looked to Heda who nodded. “Wait,” Clarke called after him. “Give me the key to his cell.”

Heda protested. “Clarke, I can’t let you do that.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes and wanted to argue, but she knew her houmon was only saying it out of her concern for her safety. Instead she turned and kissed her wife.

“After everything you have seen me do, do you really think that he can hurt me anymore?”

“No, I just…”

“It’s sweet and only natural that you worry about me, but I’ve got to do this alone, and it may involve me needing to get in his personal space.” The omega gave her a wicked grin. “I think he needs to see the results of his actions up close and personal, and frankly, the corridor is too narrow to accommodate me if I decide to change.”

“Klark…” 

Anya stopped her Heda. “Let her do what she needs to do.” She turned to Clarke. “Just try not to kill him.”

“Don’t worry. I have no plans to kill him…yet.”

Clarke studied Charles Pike through that metal bars of his cage. He wasn’t yet aware of her presence, and she decided to keep it that way for a while. 

He was curled in the corner of his cell on a thin and lumpy pallet. He had a glazed-over, far away look and his cheeks were sunken in. For a split second, Clarke felt bad for him until she remembered that her cheeks used to look like that too because her mistreatment on the Ark and especially when she was confined to solitary. 

Those memories brought back the ones from her horrible last year on the Ark, from her unreasonable prison sentence to the death of her father. She had been inconsolable for weeks after her father’s death, but it didn’t matter because there had been no one there to console her anyway. Her mother wasn’t allowed to visit, and at the time, Clarke hadn’t wanted her to. Over time, because time was all she had, she forgave her mother. 

Her mother had made a mistake the day she told Thelonius Jaha about Jake and his desire to tell the residents of the Ark that the station was dying. Her mother really did have his, and everyone else’s, best interest at heart. She had trusted Jaha to do what was right, but instead, the man had betrayed her and his best friend, all in the name of holding onto his power. 

Pike had been there every step of the way. 

Charles hadn’t started out a bad man, in fact, he had always been everyone’s favorite teacher, but after he lost his wife to natural causes Jaha had taken advantage of his grief and anger and given him a taste of the power the man could wield over the other residents of the Ark. It was an easy progression for the emotional alpha to go from beloved teacher to Jaha’s hated guard dog and henchman.

Looking at him made the bile rise in her throat, for as pathetic as he looked now, she couldn’t forget everything he’d done since Jaha had gotten his claws in him. Thelonius may have manipulated him, but no alpha would be truly controlled if he didn’t want to be.

She banged on the bars of his cell. “Charles Pike,” she roared. The man startled so hard he knocked his head on the stone wall behind him. 

Sunken eyes regarded her. “Prisoner 319.” It was a taunt. He used to enjoy riling her up when she was stuck in solitary confinement, always from the safety of the other side of the door. “I heard you were dead.” His raspy, unused voice instantly set her teeth on edge.

“Sorry to disappoint you.” Her words dripped with venom.

He sat up and rested his back against the wall. It was then that Clarke could see just how much of him had wasted away. “Not disappointed.”

He didn’t seem capable of forming more than a few words at once. He reached for a cup of water that was sitting on the floor. It was two thirds empty already. He used the remaining water to wet his lips and cool his throat.

“Ah, that’s better.” He flung the cup toward Clarke, but it didn’t even come close to hitting its mark. Clearing his throat, he glared at her. “So, if you aren’t dead, I guess that means you are the savage’s whore now.”

Clarke had to clench her fists at her sides not to rush the bars and attempt to hit the detestable man. “Whore, no. Mate, yes, and that means next to her I am the most powerful person in the Coalition. That also means I hold your fate in my hands, little man.”

“How dare you, omega. You are just a hole for her to fill, and when she gets tired of you, she will find someone new to use. It’s what savages do.”

“No, it’s what you do, although, I heard you actually loved your wife. You are one of the few alphas to mate for love. Rumor has it your omega had you wrapped around her little finger.”

Clarke felt bad using Pike’s deceased mate against him, but his cruelty to her kept her speaking. “Big bad Pike brought to his knees by a fragile, weak omega. Everyone knows you were a timid little puppy around her, following her everywhere she went and licking at her heels.”

“Don’t you dare speak about her.” Charles climbed to his feet, and even in his depleted state he was still an imposing figure even if the effort left him gasping for breath.

“You’re pathetic. A few months in prison and now you are as weak as a kitten.” She walked over and pressed her face to the bars. “You can barely stand.”

He growled. “You try being starved for months and see how you do.”

Clarke laughed bitterly. “You seem to forget that I already have. Do you not recall that you used to love to taunt me from my prison door? You took a sick pleasure in watching me suffer, watching all of us suffer, and you especially loved cutting or taking away our meager rations for made up infractions.”

“You deserved it.” He growled.

“For what? What did I ever do to you? You took your anger out on me and the others because you didn’t want to look weak while you mourned your wife.”

He roared and rushed the bars, trying to flood the space with his pheromones. Clarke didn’t even flinch. “You are an omega. You will submit to me.”

“Nah.” Another bitter laugh. “Not today, and not ever. I don’t do that anymore.” 

She could feel him ramping up his attempt. She wasn’t immune to his attempts. Her body could feel what he was doing, and somewhere deep inside it was crying at her to submit, but she could also feel the spirit within her, and the needling desire to cave turned into an almost pleasurable tickle. 

“Give it a rest, Pike, before you pass out from the strain.”

He roared and reached through the bars, trying to get his hands on Clarke. “Bitch. They should have floated you with your father.”

That was it. He had gone too far, and Clarke lost control, but not before unlocking the prison door. Charles smiled thinking this was his moment, but he was so terribly wrong. 

He made a move to get out the door, but Clarke pushed him back. She heard Anya gasp from down the corridor as her form flashed from human to wolf. It was her fastest transformation yet, and she heard Charles scream in shock, horror, and surprise. 

She pushed her way into his cell, feeling the edges of the door scrap her sides as she moved into the space. She barely fit. She whipped her head to glare at the alpha who was now cowering in the corner. She lifted her lips and growled. 

Pike screamed again. “Somebody help me. Please.” 

Clarke howled, and he had to cover his ears. He whimpered and tried to get out from under the great white wolf, but she stopped him with a paw to the chest. She kept it there and extended her claws, just barely piercing the skin there.

Lexa walked over. “You did this, Pike. Did you know that?” She had to remain outside the cell as there was no room for her to move into it. 

Wild eyes found her. “Please don’t let it hurt me.”

“That wolf is not an it. That wolf is the omega you enjoyed tormenting instead of teaching.” She reached through the bars to stroke Clarke’s fur. “I wonder how an instructor of children, someone who valued education and knowledge could fall so far that he would steal from those he was tasked to teach and nurture. You should have been building people up, but instead you used your anger and grief to tear people down. You may think you are strong because you are an alpha, but you are weak. You are a weak little man who preyed on those who were vulnerable.”

Pike was trembling under the weight of Clarke’s paw. She hadn’t let up on her growl.

“There is no use in explaining to you what Clarke is because you aren’t worth the effort, but you do need to know that it is because of you that she has realized her full potential. Your terrible treatment of her months ago brought out her strength, it brought out her spirit, and it has made her the most powerful being on this Earth. 

Clarke tipped her head and looked at Lexa, surprised by her words. 

“You were the catalyst that led to Clarke’s change, and for that I thank you, because you helped prove what I always knew; that she is magnificent.” She added insult to the injury of him being pinned to the ground by the omega he used to love harassing by hitting him with a blast of pheromones, forcing him to turn his neck in submission. “Don’t think that my thanks means I excuse your behavior. I don’t. You will sit here and rot in this cell until Clarke decides your fate.” 

Lexa sneered at him. “This omega that you thought was beneath you is going to be the one that decides whether you live or die. I think that is fitting after everything you have done, don’t you?” She took one more swipe at him. “I don’t think that your wife would be very proud of you.”

Lexa turned and walked away, leaving her omega to do as she pleased. One golden eye watched her go, and then Clarke’s full focus was on Pike again. She opened her mouth fully and let him see the rows of razor-sharp teeth. “Please, Clarke. I am sorry.”

She ignored him and moved her teeth closer to him until his head was encompassed in her jaws. That’s when he shit himself. He was a sniveling, disgusting mess. Clarke drew her head back at the smell. She phased back, not caring that she stood naked before the man. He averted his eyes from her.

“You disgust me, but I too need to thank you. Without you, I may not ever have realized my full potential.”

Terrified eyes finally looked up at her. “W-what are you?”

“I am Wanheda.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had hoped to post this yesterday, but never got the chance. It was day of house and yardwork that had been sorely neglected because I have been busy writing. Who wants to clean and mow when they can write?

Chapter 22

Lexa walked away at a steady clip, leaving Clarke in the cell with Pike. She moved past Anya and tried to keep going, but her fos grabbed her arm.

“Heda, where are you going?”

“I…I…”

Lexa’s tone of voice instantly alerted Anya to what was going on. It was the mournful tone she had heard many, many times while they all thought Clarke was dead. “I know what you are doing, and I am not going to allow you to do it because Clarke is facing down one of the worst people in her life, and she’s going to need you after she comes back out.”

A tear slipped out of Lexa’ eye. “I told him he was the catalyst of her change, but I was too. So much of that day is my fault.”

“No. Stop right there” Anya rolled her eyes. “We have been over this so many times. Clarke has forgiven you, so don’t you think that maybe you should forgive yourself too?”

By this time, Clarke was already walking back to them. Lexa hurried to take off her cloak and offer it to her omega. Clarke smiled. “You seem to be needing to give me your coat a lot these days.”

Lexa sniffled. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Concerned azure eyes looked at her mate, trying to figure out what was wrong.

When Lexa didn’t say anything, Anya filled the silence for her. “She is feeling guilty because of her role in the events the day Pike hurt you.”

Clarke stood directly in front of Lexa, getting right in her face. “You are such a noble creature, and you internalize all the wrongs you feel you have committed. Then you let it eat away at you.”

Lexa’s eyes widened. These were not the words she was expecting.

“You think you hide it well, but I know you,” Clarke continued. “I see it, and it is time to forgive yourself. We both made mistakes that day, but if Pike hadn’t interfered, things would have gone very differently. I know within my heart that we would have found a way to forgive each other for our bad behavior, and before you say that I didn’t, I behaved badly that day too. I may have been flooded by hormones, but it doesn’t excuse how I handled my jealousy when I approached Cassia. I know you and I love you, and if I had calmed down for one second, I would have known that you were not flirting with her. You would never do that. And yes, maybe you should have skipped your duties that morning, but you are Commander, and it is because of your willingness to attend even the most mundane meetings in order to serve your people in the best way possible, that you have become legendary. There has never been, nor will there ever be a Commander willing to sacrifice the way you have. You understand duty like no other.”

“But my duty should have been to you that day,” Lexa tried to argue.

Clarke sighed. “Are we going to be arguing about this when we are old and gray?”

“Just hearing you two is making me old and gray,” Anya snickered.

Anya thumped Heda on the back. “Just accept that you have been forgiven and put this issue to bed. It is done and you two are an entwined pair. Hell, from what we are learning, you two have been entwined for eternity, and if that is the case then it is clear that you two have always been able to forgive one another, but that also means forgiving your own past transgressions, seken (second).” 

Lexa looked her mentor in the eyes. “You are right, fos.” Looking over to Clarke, she placed a callused hand on her houmon’s cheek. “I will try to do better”

Clarke snuggled into the touch. “I know you will. Now let’s get me some clothes so we show Anya the temple.”

As they walked, Anya happily told them that Raven would be arriving in the morning. This was news to the newly mated pair, and Clarke was especially excited, well, maybe not as excited as the smitten alpha, but still, it had Clarke’s flagging energy returning as she talked animatedly with Anya about the other alpha. She was especially enthusiastic about bouncing her ideas for her armor off the mechanic. 

Anya was intrigued by the armor idea and asked many questions. “I would like to see the picture you drew of your ideas. Maybe I can help with that too.” She had almost a dreamy look in her eyes. If there was one thing Anya loved, it was weapons and armor.

They let Anya lead the way into the bunker, and to say Anya was blown away by it and the temple was an understatement. She walked around in awe, holding up the picture Clarke had drawn of Heda and Wanheda’s shared dream. She held it up in front of her, comparing it to the space before her. It was identical.

“This…I don’t know what this is. I have never heard of such a thing.” She looked around in wonder. “Raven showed me some pictures on her strange tablet thingy, and I think there may have been pictures of this place. Except they were old. This place is astounding. It’s the same but new.”

“Not all of it is new, General,” Gaia, who had accompanied them back into the bunker, said. “I believe that many of the structures and items stored in here are real.”

“It kind of seems wrong to have pillaged the original temple,” Clarke chatted. “It seems sacrilegious or something.”

“Perhaps,” Lexa mused, “but think of it this way. If that man, Bill Cadogan hadn’t built this place, the temple would have been destroyed in Praimfaya.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows. “True.”

Anya continued to wander, and more than once Lexa or Clarke caught her looking in their direction only to look back at some facsimile or figurine as if she was trying to see them as they would have been in the past.

“This place really was built for the two of you. It’s obvious.”

Clarke crinkled her eyebrows together. “There is nothing here that is obvious.”

“Really? Because that depiction of a wolf standing next that woman couldn’t possibly be you and Lexa. You are right.” Anya mocked.

This had Gaia snickering. “Wanheda seems to have blinders on today and can’t see what’s right in front of her face.” 

“I do not,” Clarke protested.

Anya agreed with Gaia. Lexa, however, remained stone-faced. The more she looked, the more she agreed as well, but she tried to remain passive. She’d had many years of learning to accept things exactly like this. After the Conclave, she knew there was a spirit within her. She didn’t exactly fight the idea, but through her training and meditation, she learned to accept it. Clarke had only just begun her training. The few exercises in meditation she had been able to have with her Keyronkepa hadn’t been nearly enough for her to be able to look around and take what she was seeing at face value.

They continued to explore until Clarke’s energy finally gave out. Her earlier nap had kept her going for a while, but it was now late in the day. 

It was dark when they left the bunker. Torches had been lit, and the smells from cooking fires filled the air. It had the omega drooling even as she held onto her wife so that she wouldn’t trip over her own tired feet.

“Do you want to go back to the tower, or do you have enough energy to eat? I see Emile is out and making his famous kabobs. Would you like one?” Lexa inquired.

Emile’s kabobs were one of the things that Clarke had craved while she was trapped as the wolf. She didn’t mind the raw meat she ate as a wolf, but she far preferred cooked tender meat, perfectly spiced and dripping with juice. The man served his kabobs with round flatbread that could be spread with any number of different sauces. 

Fatigue be damned. Clarke was now planning to eat one of everything the man had to offer. 

They reached his stall and Lexa went to order for them, returning with enough food to feed an army. It wasn’t long after finishing her meal that Clarke started to fall asleep. Lexa had to catch her before her face fell directly onto her plate. Easily lifting her, the alpha carried her houmon all the way into the tower.

Later, Lexa watched as her mate fell into the bed, suffering from a food coma. She smiled, remembering just how much Clarke had eaten. She really had devoured one of everything old man Emile had cooking in his stall. At the time she had marveled at how much her mate could eat, but when she thought about how vast amount energy it must take to go from human to wolf to back again, she was surprised that Clarke didn’t normally eat more. She took a warm wet rag and wiped her houmon’s face. It was impossible not to make a mess when eating Emile’s kabobs, and Clarke had been too tired to take the time to wash up before bed. She leaned over and kissed her houmon on the forehead before tucking her in under the furs. She blew out the candles and got into the bed herself. She pulled Clarke close to her and heard her omega begin to purr in her sleep. They never did get the chance to talk about her meeting with Titus.

When Clarke woke, she stretched. Light was filtering in through the windows, and she was happy. She was home, and she had forgotten what it was like to wake up in the tower to all the sounds of life going on below her in the streets and in the lower levels of the tower. Everything smelled the same as she remembered. She made out the smell of smoke from the fires below, but also the smell of baking bread from the kitchens. She even detected the scent of the oils from the bath she knew had already been prepared by the hand maidens. There was one new smell, and it was her favorite of them all. It was the scent of her mate lying next to her.

She leaned in to kiss Lexa’s exposed shoulder. It was covered in goose bumps. Her wife was cold. She snuggled in close and pulled the furs up to cover both of them and fell back to sleep content in the knowledge that when she woke up, she would still be in the only place she had ever considered home; her mate’s arms. 

Later when she woke up again, the other side of the bed was empty. There were no arms around her, but she could hear her mate puttering around the room. She was arranging a vase full of flowers. She wondered briefly how the Commander was able to get fresh flowers when it was still so cold outside. It wasn’t the first time she’d had the thought.

The alpha noticed her and moved to sit on the bed. “Sonop, ai tombom (good morning, my heart). We need to get ready. I have made arrangements to meet with the stagma (blacksmith) this morning. Anya will meet us there.”

Clarke rubbed her eyes, trying to fully wake up. “Why?” She asked sleepily.

“To start on the armor ideas, and to get you new weapons. You need weapons befitting your title. We will also need to visit the tailor. You are seriously lacking in clothing with so much of it getting destroyed.” Lexa playfully nudged her wife’s hip. “You also need new attire for the ceremony.”

The omega shot into a sitting position. “What ceremony?”

Green eyes sparkled. “The one celebrating our union and the one that will introduce Wanheda to the world.”

Clarke flopped back onto the bed, groaning. “Do we have to?”

“Yes, niron. We have to.” Lexa flopped down next to her mate but rolled onto her side and propped herself onto her elbow. “There is always a formal ceremony after Heda takes a mate, but this one will be special. It will be introducing Wanheda to the people.”

“Will they even understand what that means?” Clarke wanted to know. “If the former Flamekeepers erased most of the history of Wanheda, won’t the people think it is something you made up to elevate my station?”

Lexa traced a finger over Clarke’s eyebrow. She had a sly smile on her face. “I have already taken care of that.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What does that mean?”

“That means this morning some of the gona I selected are going around and telling stories of the long forgotten Wanheda. Some will even have copies of the ancient texts Gaia found to prove you once existed in times past, and Lucas, one of the guards who was with us at the cabin, is a well-known bard. He is a master storyteller, and he is going to regale the people below with tales of you.”

The omega groaned and covered her head with a pillow. “Is that really necessary?” She was embarrassed by the thought of people telling stories about her like she was some celebrated warrior. 

Lexa sneaked a kiss before sitting up again. “Yes, strik pakstoka (little wolf), it is.

“But I thought we wanted to keep my wolfiness on the down low, so that Jaha thinks he has won.”

“I have thought about this.” Lexa stood from the bed and beckoned Clarke to rise. “The wonderful thing about this ceremony is that it is going to spark stories and rumors that will travel far and wide in the coalition, but by the time it reaches the ears of Skaikru, it will be just that, stories and rumors. Do you really think a man as pompous as Jaha will believe them?”

Clarke shook her head and smiled. “No, he probably won’t. Just like he is saying that the stories of the Conclave and the spirit of Heda are lies, he will say this is too. No one from Arkadia saw me as the wolf except for mom, well, and now Octavia, but we can trust that they will both keep their mouths shut.”

Clarke walked toward the bathroom. “Octavia will have filled my mom in by now on what Jaha did to me, and after what he did to my father, Mom will be careful not to divulge what she has learned. She has one hell of a poker face.”

Lexa looked at her quizzically and Clarke explained the phrase. Clarke undressed and stepped into the warm water of her bath. She crooked a finger at Lexa, inviting her to join her, sloshing the water as she moved back so that Lexa could sit in front of her. 

“So, what will I be wearing for this ceremony?” Clarke asked.

“Well, the tailor will do the fitting, but it will be one of his seamstresses that sews your dress. It…”

“Dress.” Clarke exclaimed, spilling water over the side of the tub. “I have never worn a dress before.”

“Not ever?” Lexa found this hard to believe.

“No. Up on the Ark, clothing needs to be functional not pretty, and it wasn’t like if one existed they would let an omega wear it.”

A low growl escaped Lexa before she could help it. “Then we will make sure it is the most spectacular dress anyone has ever seen.”

They were walking toward the blacksmith’s shop with Anya when Heda received news that a rover was at the gates. Raven was here, and Clarke practically took off sprinting to get to her. Anya and Lexa shared a look and followed after her.

Lexa playfully shoved her friend. “I know you are excited to see your little bird, so go. I will be right behind you.”

Anya didn’t even look back to thank her Heda. She took off running, easily catching up to then passing Clarke. The omega may be fast as a wolf, but she was no match for the long-legged alpha in human form.

They both skidded to a stop when they got to the gates. Clarke didn’t have to, but Anya rearranged herself to look like the general she was. The guards gave both her and Clarke short bows while exposing their necks.

“General, Wanheda,” the gate keeper said. Clarke’s eyes widened at the title. The news that she was Wanheda was getting around. She wasn’t sure if she liked it. The guard pointed to the rover. “The passengers said you were expecting them.”

“We are Matti. Mochof (Thank you).”

The doors to the rover opened, and Clarke let out an undignified squeal. “Mom. You’re here.”

She ran to her mother and was engulfed in the older alpha’s arms. “Clarke, thank goodness you are okay. Octavia told me what Jaha did to you.” Abby became tearful. “I am so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”

“It’s not your fault, Mom. He had it all planned out. That case of food poisoning you had to treat was all because of him.”

“That bastard. He poisoned his own people? Some of them were extremely ill.” Clarke could feel the anger rolling off her mother.

“And then he gave me that chip that took away my omega. I thought,” Clarke’s voice broke, “I thought it was gone forever.”

“Oh honey. Come here.” Abby flooded her with soothing pheromones, and Clarke instantly felt better. Her and her mother may have had their differences, but Abby had always been there when it counted. When they let go of each other, Abby pushed aside Clarke’s hair and looked at her mating mark. “I am so happy for you. Lexa is an amazing person, and I know she will take good care of you.”

“She does take good care of me.” Clarke smiled and reached out her hand for her mate who had just arrived to greet the newcomers. 

“Abby kom Skaikru it is good to see you.” Lexa stated formally.

“It is good to see you too, daughter-in-law.”

Lexa tilted her head and replayed those words in her head. “I do not know this phrase.”

“It’s what we call someone after a union, after a mating. If Clarke had mated with someone, say Finn, he would be my son-in-law.”

Lexa growled, disgusted by the idea of Clarke with anyone else. “Shh, she was just using him as an example.” Clarke tried to placate her mate.

“It was a disturbing example.” Lexa had only met the floppy-haired boy once, and he seemed nice enough, if a little bit dense, but still. The thought of him and Clarke made her stomach turn.

“I will make it up to you later,” Clarke whispered in her ear.

“Hey newlyweds. Break it up so I can get some love from my favorite omega.” Raven held her arms out for Clarke and the omega walked into them eagerly.

“I missed you, Rae.”

“Me too, furball,” Raven teased. “I hope I get to see you in all your magnificence soon.”

“You will, but right now we are heading to the blacksmith’s shop. I have some ideas for armor I can wear that will work while in this and my wolf form. I was actually hoping you could help with that.”

“Hell yeah. Tell me your ideas and I am sure I can make them even better.” Clarke always did love Raven’s confidence.

“I am sure you can.”

They headed off toward the shop, and the sneaky touches the sable-haired alpha shared with Anya didn’t go unseen, but no one said a word. They decided to let Raven and Anya live in their little bubble for as long as they could.

Behind them, Lexa and Abby spoke quietly, and once again Clarke felt happy. She hadn’t had a tremendous amount of happiness in her life, and being sent to the ground at first had seemed like a death sentence, but now, after all the awful things that had happened, she felt like she was destined to have a happy life, and for the first time in forever, she felt like it might even be a long and prosperous one. 

They spent some time with the armorer, and with Anya and Raven piping in their ideas.

The stagma was certain he would be able to make something for Clarke. It did require her going into the back room of the shop and changing form so that he could get an idea of her size. 

When she came back Raven gaped at her, mouth opening and closing like a fish, and for maybe the first time in her life, the alpha was speechless. The stagma (blacksmith) hid his shock better than the Skai alpha and recovered quickly. 

He bowed deeply to the wolf. “Wanheda,” he whispered reverently. “My father told me stories about you. 

Clarke raised her bushy eyebrows in surprise. “His father served under Sheidheda late in his reign. He was a young man then, and Sheidheda was already becoming crazed with power, using Wanheda to gain him more. Komfona (grandfather) was an inexperienced gona then, but he could see how it was eating away at Wanheda and destroying her soul. He banded together with other underlings, that Sheidheda had no time for, and together they tried to defeat him. Many of those gona were lost, and Wanheda, who was always watching, couldn’t take it anymore. When Sheidheda started killing his own people, she disappeared. That is when the power shifted, and the people were able to overthrow the evil Heda.”

“Olaf,” Lexa paced the room. “Why haven’t I heard these stories before? The Fleimkepas, they destroyed what they could about Sheidheda and Wanheda, but you have been carrying this important piece of our history. Why didn’t you share these stories?” Clarke moved to her side and Lexa dug her fingers into her thick fur, taking comfort.

“Well,” he scratched at his scruffy beard, “I honestly didn’t believe them. I thought they were bedtime stories my father told me to scare me about how power can corrupt everyone, even those we are supposed to look up to as leaders.” 

He looked at Clarke. “Imagine it from my perspective, as a young boy. To think that a creature, such as yourself, walked the earth; it was the stuff of children’s tales. I may have believed it when I was five winters old, but not when I grew older and knew that things such as you couldn’t exist.” He ducked his head in shame. “Had I known that the stories were real, Heda, I would have shared them with you.”

Lexa walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “I understand, Olaf, and I apologize if I made you think you did something wrong. I had my own struggle believing that Clarke was real,” she turned and leaned her forehead against Clarke’s own, “but I am so glad she is.” 

Clarke dipped her head and nuzzled Lexa’s hair. Olaf quickly took her measurements and she returned to the room she had been in earlier to shift back into herself. When she came back out, fully dressed, Raven still hadn’t said anything.

“Cat got your tongue, Rae?”

The alpha sputtered then laughed. “More like wolf.” She gave Clarke the grin that she loved so much. “Truly, Clarke, that was the most amazing thing I have ever seen.”

“Did Anya tell her I kicked her ass when we wrestled?” Clarke gave Anya a wink.

“Only because you were in wolf form.” Anya turned to look at Raven. “Her paw is bigger than my head. I didn’t stand a chance.” Anya was grinning now too.

Raven gave Anya an evil grin. “That’s why you smell like her. You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

Anya tried to subtly smell herself. “There is no way I smell like her. I have bathed multiple times since then.”

“And you smell like wet dog.” Raven laughed.

“Hey,” Clarke said, affronted by the conversation. “I do not smell like a wet dog.”

Raven bit her lip trying not to laugh. “You don’t, Clarke. I am kidding. You smell…let’s just say you smell like safety and home. I don’t think I have ever smelled anything like it.” She looked at Lexa. “You too, Heda Hot Pants.” Lexa grimaced at the nickname. “Being in your presence makes me feel like nothing can ever hurt me. It’s not something I have ever felt before, but I can’t say that I don’t appreciate it. It’s comforting.”

Abby, who had been quiet, agreed. “It’s true. Being around the two of you makes me feel like nothing in this world can go wrong.”

Clarke was speechless. Never once in her life did she think she had been able to make someone feel safe. Even as the leader of the 100, she never really felt like she exuded self-confidence or safety, even if the wellbeing of the delinquents was always at the forefront of her mind. She had kept the delinquents alive, but most of them didn’t even appreciate her efforts. Not a single one, except for Bellamy and Raven, ever thanked her for the sacrifices she made or the things she did to keep her people alive.

Lexa cleared her throat and got all of them back on the task at hand. Olaf, Anya, and Raven all reviewed Clarke’s picture. Raven grabbed a piece of charcoal and added a few of her own designs and explained that she had things back in the machine shop of Arkadia that could help make things easier to make. The mechanic frowned when she realized that Clarke would need her armor before she could get back to the Ark and then back to Polis again. She started describing things she might need, and Olaf brightened. 

“There is a repository of old-world tek in a building not far from here. I can show it to you so you can see if there is anything in there that fits what you need.”

Lexa and Clarke shared a look. The omega wondered if it was the building above the bunker where Clarke had teased not to ever show Raven because she would never come out. She could only hope that Raven would unbury herself from all the delights she found there to help Olaf with his newest project.

The pair left Anya and Raven with Olaf as they continued to plan. Abby excused herself to go see Nyko. She was in need of some expertise that only a grounder healer could provide.

Lexa walked with Clarke’s hand entwined with hers. “Are you ready to get fitted for your first dress, niron?”

“Hell yeah, I am. I want that dress,” she said greedily. 

They walked casually to the tailor’s shop. Clarke was as excited as a pup with a new toy, and she hadn’t even seen any dresses yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left comments and kudos. Every single one brightens my days.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like, and I don't like, this chapter. It feels clunky to me, but I hope it doesn't to you. So far, this has been the most difficult chapter for me to write.

Chapter 23

Gaia was fussing over Clarke’s braids. She had to keep smacking the other omega’s hands away so that she would quit touching them. They had been intricately woven and crisscrossed over the top of Wanheda’s head while letting most of the rest flow down her back. When Clarke turned, she was surprised how long her hair had gotten. It was down to her mid back. The braids themselves had taken four different hand maidens to complete, but it was Gaia who was doing Clarke’s warpaint. It was a match to Heda’s since it was the also the same as her wolf form, but it was done across her face with golden paint that had tiny blue flecks in it that matched her eyes. The effect was stunning, and Clarke didn’t quite recognize herself especially because she was wearing the most elegant piece of clothing she had ever beheld. 

The dress the tailor and seamstress had designed for her was made from a material Clarke had never felt before. Lexa explained, before she was overtaken by her own hand maidens, that the material was silk and made from the cocoons left behind by mulberry silkworms. The alpha described the general process for making the threads that then made the material, but Clarke had a difficult time comprehending what she was saying since she had never seen a silkworm or cocoon before. She made a promise to herself to look at a video of one of Raven’s tablets.

The dress itself was the reverse of her warpaint. It was a sleeveless, slim-fitting gown that was blue with little golden flecks woven through it. It reminded Clarke of one of the first times she looked upon the blue sky from the ground. There had been hundreds of tiny yellow butterflies flitting through the air that day, and she and the other delinquents had been enthralled by the sight. It had been breathtaking, and it was one of the only truly happy memories she had from before their first encounters with the grounders. She wondered if it was Lexa who gave the tailor the idea as it was one of the first memories she had ever shared with her mate. 

Gaia applied the finishing touches to the warpaint. “There. All done.” She held up one of the ancient tomes about Wanheda. She looked at the book and then Clarke no less than four times as she studied the pictures drawn in it of what Wanheda’s ceremonial braids were supposed to look like. She gave Clarke a satisfied smirk. The hand maidens had gotten them perfect. “You are a vision.”

Clarke looked at herself again in the full-length mirror. It was probably the only mirror of its size in all the coalition. She turned left, then right, and finally faced forward again. She couldn’t believe she was looking at herself. “Rrrarr,” she raved, eyeing up her own reflection.

Lexa came up behind her. “Did you just rrrarr yourself?” Clarke had the grace to blush. 

“Maybe.” The omega looked at herself reflection in the mirror again. “I look…”

“Meizeboz (amazing), my love. You look so beautiful, and if we didn’t have a pressing engagement, I would take you to bed and worship you like the goddess you are.” Lexa looked appraisingly at her.

“You look pretty damn hot yourself, Heda.”

Lexa was not wearing her full Commander regalia, as she was also in a dress, but she may as well have been wearing all her armor. The dress itself was solid black with metal pauldrons and leather wrist cuffs, also all black. A thick, black leather belt encompassed most of her torso and had wicked looking metal studs coming out of it. The only color she wore was a red cape that flowed nearly to the ground, and the golden forehead piece set between her eyes, and while Clarke wore delicate strappy sandals, Lexa wore thigh-high black boots that she had no doubt had steel-tipped toes. She was the epitome of sleek grace and power.

They stood side by side in front of the mirror. Gaia smiled. “I don’t think there is a more handsome, or powerful, couple on this planet.”

Looking at themselves, they really did look handsome with Lexa’s dark figure next to Clarke’s light. 

Standing next to Lexa, and hearing Gaia’s compliments had Clarke feeling good even though she was nervous about the ceremony. All the clan ambassadors would be there as would most of citizens of Polis. It was an open-air ceremony, and all were invited. The omega took solace in the fact that her mom and Raven where out their somewhere; hopefully with places of honor that would allow them to see everything.

“It is time, Heda, Wanheda.” Gaia pointed out. She walked to the door and opened it for them.

Clarke still didn’t really know what to expect except that she would be introduced as Lexa’s mate and that at some point Lexa would kneel before her. After that Gaia would introduce her as Wanheda. The details she had been given were brief. Lexa wanted her to be able to enjoy the ceremony without worrying about it beforehand. The pair walked out of to tower, hand in hand, with Gaia leading the way.

Already the city was aflutter with gossip about Wanheda and her magical powers. Clarke had learned, much to her horror, that one of the gona produced a cartoon of sorts depicting the great Wanheda. Copies of it had already passed through the hands of most of the children in the Capitol, and they were all eager to meet this new mythical being.

The omega had groaned when she was first told this. Raven had teased and said the cartoon was like the comic books of old depicting heroes with superpowers, only those characters weren’t real, and Clarke decidedly was.

“I am being built up as something I am not,” Clarke had stressed. “They are going to be sorely disappointed when they see its just me; the scrawny omega ambassador from Skaikru.”

“The scrawny omega ambassador that already has stories being told about her because everyone knows she came back from the dead,” Gaia pointed out. 

“But I wasn’t dead,” Clarke argued, frowning at the thought of being made out to be something that she wasn’t. She had finally fully accepted that she was Wanheda, but that didn’t mean she was anything spectacular, not yet at least. She hadn’t done anything worthy of the stories being told about her.

A shadow crossed over Lexa’s face and her voice had broken when she said, “We didn’t know that. We all thought we had lost you.” It was a time in Lexa’s life that she would never remember without feeling like a red-hot dagger had been plunged into her heart.

Clarke’s throat had closed up then, and she engulfed Lexa in a hug, soothing her with her scent as best she could “I am here now, Lex, and I am never going away again.”

Gaia led them out of the tower and up the steps of a high wooden dais where Anya was already waiting for them. Clarke looked around and felt faint. Below her, and spreading out into the streets of Polis, had to be the entire population of the city. She had never seen so many people in one place at a time. Her nerves increased tenfold. Her only relief was that she easily spotted her mother and Raven. Both were wearing dresses to mark the occasion, and Clarke was pleased to see that both dresses had accents made from the same material that she was wearing. She smiled when she saw Anya staring at the Ark mechanic. The General couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from the stunning sight of her alpha lover.

An area in front of the dais had been cleared, and there were chairs placed in a semi-circle, all filled by ambassadors she was familiar with, including Cassia of Trishankru. Clarke reminded herself that she needed to apologize to her for her behavior all those months ago. 

The only person Clarke did not recognize was the woman sitting in the seat representing Azgeda. All she knew was that when Lexa spotted her she growled, and the omega felt the cold chill of dread wash down her spine.

Clarke didn’t have a chance to ask who she was. Gaia was already speaking in Titus’s absence. 

When Lexa had finally gotten around to telling Clarke about her ‘talk’ with Titus, it hadn’t ended well for the man. Something in him had changed in the time he had found out about Clarke and Wanheda, and he was none too pleased that Gaia was the Keyronkepa (spirit keeper). It was a position he felt entitled to, at the same time as doubting that Clarke was the real Wanheda. He also tried to take credit for all of Gaia’s hard work. 

What had also been clear was the man hadn’t studied the previously lost texts as well as he should have, otherwise he would have known that Heda and Wanheda always went hand in hand. He was stuck in his old beliefs, and he didn’t want to change. He had argued that Wanheda needed to be seen as Lexa’s mate and nothing more. He had even argued that there was no need for a ceremony celebrating her official mating to Clarke. The people did not need to know Clarke as Wanheda.

“You elevate her, even above yourself Heda, and I cannot allow it. It not only makes you appear weak in the eyes of the ambassadors, but it also makes you look weak to your people,” he had spewed. What had sealed his fate, however, was telling Lexa that she had better control her mate because if she didn’t, he would.

She had stalked up to him, without saying a word, exuding dominant pheromones, but not so many as to force to force him to submit. He did so anyway, trying to backpedal and take back his words. It was too late. Lexa physically stripped him of his robes, threw him across the room, and banished him from coalition lands for the period of two years. If he could survive that long and prove himself a changed man, she might let him back into the order. 

“Go and do some serious soul searching, Titus.” Lexa’s growl had the man trembling. “You have lost your way, but I am hoping you can find your way back.” She hoped it wouldn’t come back to bite her that she had let the man live, but as her oldest advisor, she couldn’t find it in herself to destroy him.

Clarke had thought she had been too lenient then, while Gaia applauded her for her control saying she doubted they would ever see Titus again. The man was not prepared to survive on his own. He had lived in the luxury of the tower for too long.

Gaia’s voice rang out, drawing all attention to her. “Today we are gathered here to celebrate the joyous occasion of Heda Lexa kom Trikru’s mating with Clarke Griffin, omega and ambassador for Skaikru.”

Gaia said more words, and Clarke felt Lexa take her hand. The entire ceremony was a blur because she couldn’t take her eyes off the woman seated in Azgeda’s chair. The woman held her gaze and froze her in her spot with ice blue eyes filled with ire and hate for an omega she had never met before. 

Before she knew what was happening, Lexa had turned her so that they were face to face, and the Commander was on one knee, submitting to her. Clarke wanted to scream and yell that this was the wrong thing to do, even though she had been told earlier that this was going to happen. The woman in the chair, who had been staring at her the entire time made her feel like something wasn’t right, that something was about to happen. 

“Stand up,” she tried to mutter to Lexa, but the alpha took no notice. She could see that Lexa was about to declare her love, devotion, and submission to her.

Lexa never got her chance to speak. The woman in Azgeda’s chair rose, snorting disdain for the Commander. “Look at Heda, down on her knees and submitting to a paltry, wretched omega from Skaikru,” she yelled.

Lexa slowly stood and turned to face the disrupter. “Queen Nia. It’s a wonder that you have travelled so far from home only to disturb one of our most sacred ceremonies. You do know the punishment for such an act is one hundred lashes from my whip.”

“All I know is that you are weak, and your omega is weaker. By mating her, you give Skaikru more status than they deserve. They…” Nia paused and pointed at Clarke, “she has killed hundreds of our warriors, yet not only did you let her live, you mated her.”

Lexa was unphased. “I would say it takes someone of unequaled strength to kill three hundred trained gona, and I will remind you that they were my warriors, not yours. There were no Azgeda troops there that day. As I recall, you had sent a messenger calling for their return home…just in time to miss the fight. They went scurrying away like the cowards they are.”

Clarke could only stare as Lexa and Nia faced off. She should have known the woman in the chair was the Queen of the North. The pale alpha was exuding a scent like none Clarke had ever smelled before. The woman smelled of dank earth, dried out bones, and sour milk. The smell was making Clarke ill.

“I hear they are calling your omega runt Wanheda. I saw the cute little cartoon floating around the city depicting her as some kind of long-lost spirit, here to protect and save us. My komfons (ancestors) fought alongside the great Sheidheda and his mate, the real Wanheda. Even then she was a disappointment, running away right when Sheidheda’s power was at its peak.”

The Azplana (Ice Queen) stepped closer to the dais. “You should have mated a natblida (nightblood), Heda. That would have given you true power.” She turned and crooked a finger toward the crowd, and a young woman stepped forward. She had long dark hair and pale, scarred skin. She looked every bit the warrior from Azgeda, and she was attempting to entice Lexa with sweet, soothing omega pheromones. 

Clarke growled.

“This is Ontari. She is my natblida omega, and I will gift her to you if you renounce this ridiculous mating with the Sky Bitch, or better yet, keep her and breed her. That’s all she’s ever going to be good for.”

Clarke could feel Lexa seething next to her, and as much as she wanted to step forward and tell Nia exactly what she could do with her offer, like shove it back up her ass where it came from, she waited for Lexa to act.

“Alright, how about this. My omega fights you in hand to hand combat, no pheromones, and if you win, I will accept your gift, but if you lose, you and your nightblood receive one hundred lashes on the tree, your natblida then joins the others to train in Polis, and you renounce your throne, allowing your son, Roan, to become king.”

Nia snorted, actually snorted, at this. “You think I am willing to concede all that?”

“What do you have to lose, Nia, against a paltry, wretched, and barely trained omega.” Nia had accidentally set a trap for herself.

Clarke loved that her wife had baiting the Queen. Heda knew exactly what she was doing. She was giving Wanheda her chance to shine in front of the entire populace of Polis, and she surprisingly didn’t mind one bit. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. She was nervous to change in front of everyone. It was going to be a shock, and no matter how much the crowd thought they knew about her, they didn’t know this, and she feared that the appearance of a giant white wolf might cause the people to flee in terror.

Nia snarled at Lexa. “Fine, I accept your offer, but with one change. If I win, your omega becomes mine to do with as I please.”

Lexa remained stone-faced in front of the crowd and Nia, but for the first time ever, Clarke was able to fully sense what Lexa was feeling, at least what she thought she was feeling. What she felt rolling off her alpha was undeniable satisfaction and glee at having caught Nia in her own web.

Nia’s appearance had completely blindsided the Commander, but she couldn’t help but be pleased that Nia was making a move without knowing all the facts. Heda had been worried about announcing Clarke as Wanheda, a person and spirit that had essentially been scrubbed from history. She wasn’t certain all would believe Wanheda was real and not a made-up story to make her new mate seem strong, so Nia’s challenge couldn’t have come at a better moment.

“Done.” Lexa announced. She drew her dagger. “We seal the deal in blood, binding it in front of the people of the Coalition.” She made a small slash across her hand and gave Nia the blade to do the same. Nia copied her actions. They clasped hands first, then forearms.

“I am going to enjoy breeding your little, blonde bitch.”

“And I am going to enjoy watching you step down from your throne.” Lexa replied coolly.

Lexa looked at their guards, and then the ambassadors. “Honored dignitaries, please rise so that the area can be cleared. We are finally going to see if the fighting prowess Nia claims of hold is real.”

Heda’s gonas clamored to clear the area, and Lexa allowed the ambassadors onto the stage. Clarke looked around and spotted her extremely nervous looking mother and Raven as the crowd was shuffling back to get out of the way. Unlike Abby, Raven looked downright delighted by the turn of events. She had been pestering Clarke to show off the wolf, but there hadn’t been any time. She gave Clarke two thumbs up, confident that Clarke had this in the bag.

Once an area the size of a fighting ring had been cleared, Clarke stepped into the middle of it. She knew she would not be able to defeat Nia without turning into the wolf, but she was determined to at least try. She just needed to make sure she didn’t get so addled while fighting that she wasn’t able to change when she needed to.

She saw the omega, Ontari, standing behind Nia, snarling at her, and wondered if it would be a good idea to welcome her into the flock of natblidas. She shook her head. That would be something to worry about if…when she won.

Clarke looked at Nia as she entered the makeshift ring. The woman was an imposing figure, lean and lithe; her true form obscured by the numerous scars she wore. She towered over Clarke by at least half a foot, and the omega would be lying if she said she wasn’t intimidated by the alpha queen.

She took a defensive stance, just had Anya and Indra had taught her. She growled when Nia laughed at her.

“That’s cute,” Nia began to circle her. “Do you really think you will be able to defeat me, pup? I have been training since I could stand and long before you were born. You’ve barely even started, and it’s clear your fos has been sloppy.” The alpha shot out her right arm. Clarke moved but not before Nia landed a glancing blow on her left cheek. She distinctly heard Raven booing from the masses.

She felt an anger build within her mate and could tell it was taking everything in Lexa to not interfere. She decided to channel that anger into her own strike, and punching out with her left fist, she caught Nia directly on the side of her throat. The crowd cheered.

To the Queen’s credit, she shook the hit off. Clarke knew if she had been the one to receive that punch, she would be on the ground grasping for breath. As it was, Clarke was wondering how she would ever get in a strike that would leave Nia reeling. The alpha was so damn tall compared to her. She was going to have to rely on body blows, and she had a feeling Nia was wearing armor under her seemingly casual clothing.

Clarke chuffed out a laugh, thinking of her own clothing. She hated that she was fighting in her beautiful gown, and she knew by the end of this, it was going to be ruined. Her only hope was that it would be able to be recreated.

“What’s so funny, omega?” That fact that Clarke wasn’t showing fear the way Nia thought she should be was disconcerting to the alpha. It made her strike out again with her large fist. This time Clarke was able to duck out of the way. 

She loathed doing it, but she quickly bent over to rip the seam of the dress on her left side and could hear Lexa groan. Her wife had been very fond of the dress, but she needed more freedom of movement. 

Nia was leering at her. “Showing off your pretty, pale skin only gives me more incentive to win this fight. I will enjoy touching it when you are mine.”

Clarke growled, and despite herself, she could feel herself getting angry. Nia was exactly like almost every Ark alpha she had ever met. She charged and tackled the alpha to the ground, but Nia turned the tables and pinned Clarke underneath her. She could feel the alpha exuding pheromones, trying to make her submit.

“Is this how you get omegas into your bed?” Clarke asked. “You force them to submit? I bet you have never had a willing bed partner, in fact, I am betting you have to use your dominance because alpha’s like you are well known for having little ding-a-lings.”

Nia froze. She had no idea what ding-a-ling meant, but she could hear Raven cackling on the sidelines and knew it was a jab at her alphahood. Clarke capitalized on her immobility and crawled her way out from under the alpha.

“Joken strik skrish (fucking little shit),” Nia yelled, climbing to her feet, “you will know exactly what I am made of when I drag you off to Azgeda and breed you until you have so many pups that your insides eventually fall out.”

Clarke made a face. “Now that’s just gross.”

Lexa chimed in. “Are you going to sit there and jabber, Azplana, or are going to fight?”

Nia screamed and launched herself at Clarke. Now the omega was fighting with everything she had, trying to remember what her mentors had taught her. Any confidence she had gained during the fight evaporated, and she felt real fear. She knew this alpha could destroy her. 

Nia landed a one-two punch to Clarke’s sides that had her doubling over in pain. Nia took advantage of the position and kneed her in the face, splitting her eyebrow.

Bright red blood gushed from her eye, making it difficult to see. Once again, she felt dominant pheromones creeping in on her. Nia was nothing if not a cheat.

Her knees started to wobble, and she toppled over onto her side. Adding insult to injury, Nia kicked dirt in her face before kicking her in the side.

Nia roared, thinking she had won. “Did you really think your pathetic omega could beat me?”

Clarke painfully lifted her head, looking Lexa directly in the eyes. Her mate stared back, horrified at her position, but she also radiated confidence. With one barely perceptible nod of her head Clarke knew what to do.

She climbed onto her hands and knees. Nia looked upon her with unbridled scorn before turning to face Lexa. “This fight is over Heda. I demand you clean up your mutt before you deliver her to me.”

Lexa gave her an all-knowing smile. “I wouldn’t count my houmon out yet.” The Commander pointed at Clarke.

The omega fixed Nia in her sights and called upon her power as Wanheda. Before Nia could even blink, Clarke transformed, and suddenly the puny omega loomed over the Ice alpha. 

Nia screamed again, but this time in fear. At the same time Clarke could hear a collective gasp from the crowd. 

She roared, and even Lexa had to cover her ears. Nia was now whimpering and trembling before Clarke. Wanheda stabbed her left front paw out, catching the alpha in the stomach and sending her flying backward. The crowd gathered at the side of the makeshift ring had to scamper out of the way lest they get knocked down too. 

Clarke strode over to the fallen alpha and used her jaws to catch the material of Nia’s coat to drag her back to the center of the ring. Instead of dropping the alpha, she shook her head back and forth a few times before letting the Queen go, sending the alpha sprawling.

The omega slowly walked over to the fallen queen. Nia was too shaken to get up. All she could do was look at Clarke in terror. The omega moved to stand over the woman, and Nia cried out in fear. Leaning over she got in close and showed Nia exactly what every tooth in her mouth looked like. She lowered her head until Nia could feel her breathing on her and didn’t move until Nia turned her head in submission.

“Please, Wanheda. I submit…I submit.” She let out a pathetic cry. “Please don’t kill me.”

Wanheda snapped her mouth shut with an audible clacking of teeth and Nia jolted, losing control of her bladder in the process. Clarke couldn’t help it when she yipped as she felt Lexa’s delight at this, especially since they had teased that Heda had almost pissed herself when Clarke brought the Pauna family the boar.

“You have lost Nia. You are Azplana nau mou (Ice Queen no more).”

Lexa nodded to two of her guards, and they walked over to drag Nia to her feet.

“This isn’t exactly how I planned to introduce her to the Coalition,” Lexa boomed to the stunned crowd, “but what you have just witnessed it the power of Wanheda. Commander of Death, Protector of Life, and the Catalyst for Rebirth.”

Clarke let out a victorious howl to chants of “Wan-hed-a. Wan-hed-a.”

Clarke circled the makeshift fighting ring, letting the people of Polis get a good look at her. When she got to Raven, the Skai alpha ran to her and gave her a hug, congratulating her on her win at the same time as marveling over the fact that her friend was able to defeat the Queen of Azgeda.

“That was seriously the most badass thing I have ever witnessed,” Raven yelled only to have it muffled by Clarke’s fur. The omega heard her anyway.

Once the crowd saw Raven embracing the giant wolf, they crowded in wanting to touch her and get a better look. 

Clarke allowed the attention. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Not a single citizen of Polis seemed to be afraid of her, and the pups were enthralled. They streamed in, excitedly asking Heda questions about Clarke since the omega couldn’t answer questions herself.

After a while, Lexa called an end to the gathering, stating there would be a celebration in honor of her incredible mate. The yongons (children) were disappointed, but Lexa promised they would get to see Wanheda at another time. 

Once the fervor died down, Abby was finally able to approach. She let out a shaky breath before engulfing her daughter in a fierce hug. 

“That was the most amazing and frightening thing I have ever seen. Please don’t subject me to something like that ever again. I don’t think I will survive it,” Abby said with a tremor in her voice.

Clarke let out a wolfy chuckle, startling those around her.

Lexa grinned. “Don’t worry, that’s what she sounds like when she laughs.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Abby said.

Anya walked up and clapped Clarke on her side. “Well done, ai seken (my second). Nia has been secured, and she won’t be getting out of the deal she made. I have already sent scouts out to find Roan.”

Lexa scanned the area. “Where is her omega nightblood?”

Anya, Ryder, and Stryker’s faces fell. “Skrish.” In the chaos of the fight, the Ice omega had disappeared.

It was Lexa’s turn to roar. “I don’t care how long it takes, find her.”

Dasha and Corsac, her two best trackers, were already making their way to her. “Give us ten minutes to prepare, and we will be on our way. Don’t worry, Heda, we will find her.”

Clarke changed back to human form. Anya was there in an instant covering her with her coat. “That won’t be necessary,” the omega said. “I caught her scent when Nia introduced her. She won’t get far before I am able to track her down.”

Dasha looked at Corsac. “Looks like you and I are out of a job.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, let me hear your thoughts. And, for those of you still watching the 100, I would love to know what you thought of the most recent episode (without being spoilery). What happened was so huge.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Clarke was back in wolf form, and she was just racing out of the stables as Lexa kept pace on her steed. The omega knew it wouldn’t be long before Lexa fell behind. Her horse was having a hard time keeping up with her speedy self. 

The other horses, being ridden by Anya, Gustus, Ryder, and Stryker, reluctantly followed behind, harder to manage than usual. None of the horses, except Lexa’s, were comfortable having a large wolf in their vicinity. 

Clarke was following Ontari’s scent. The Ice omega, who must have made a quick getaway during Wanheda’s fight with the Azplana had a good head start, but Clarke was confident she would be able to track the natblida down in no time. 

Dasha and Corsac where leading their own hunt. The trackers had made a bet with the Hedas that they could find the runaway before Clarke could. It was all in good fun, and it was their way of showing Wanheda that they accepted her for who she was.

As Clarke ran, she felt exhilarated. For so long, she had closed herself off to what she was, but in the past few weeks she had learned to embrace it, and it left her with a growing confidence and the knowledge that maybe she really was meant to be a leader. If nothing else, her fear of rejection had disappeared. The people of Polis loved her, and they weren’t afraid of her. She only hoped that when the stories of her fight with Nia reached Skaikru they wouldn’t believe them. 

More than likely, this would be the case. The people of the Ark would probably see the stories as fantasy or as a made-up grounder bedtime story to make their Heda look better by having a mythical mate. She was certain that Jaha would squash the story and forbid any mention of Heda or Wanheda in Arkadia. 

The new vote for Chancellor hadn’t been held yet, not to Clarke’s knowledge, but she knew it would be any day, and she dreaded what she already realized. He would win the vote and regain his spot as top dog to his people, and once he did, relations with the Coalition would deteriorate, but that didn’t matter right now, what mattered was finding the rogue nightblood. 

She had to give it to the dark-haired omega. She was good at hiding her trail. Her scent was all over the place, but Clarke knew it wouldn’t be long before she had her. It was just like when she was learning to hunt before. Her prey would flee, zigzagging across the forest. It confused the scent, but Clarke was always able to find her prey again. The fact that she couldn’t kill it because it made her sick had nothing to do with it. Hunting Ontari was no different. She followed the crisscrossing scent, nose to the ground.

She slowed and scented the air. The sneaky omega was circling back to Polis. She skidded to a halt. Lexa and the other guards who were just behind them came to a stop.

“She’s heading back to Polis,” she panted after changing back so she could speak for all to hear. She flashed back to wolf form as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

“Jok,” Lexa cursed. “She’s either headed back to rescue her Queen, or to take revenge on us.”

Lexa got off her horse and handed the reins to Gustus whose stallion was standing next to Anya’s. “It will be faster if I ride on you, Wanheda. We can’t risk Ontari getting back into the city. If she does, she could hide anywhere.”

Clarke dipped her head once then lowered her body so Lexa could climb on. Lexa only had a few seconds to grab on before the wolf was flying back toward the city. She was a blur to the gona manning the gates, and they were unable to hide the shock on their faces when they saw their Heda riding on the back of the newly revealed Wanheda. 

One blinked his eyes in disbelief. “Did you see that Grod?”

The other man was shaking his head. “I did, and it was joken hot.”

Anya, who was doing her best to keep up with the leaders heard the men. “Speak of your Heda like that again, and I will cut out your tongues and feed them to Wanheda,” she yelled as she galloped by. 

Both men brought their hands up to their mouths knowing their General wasn’t lying. “Moba (sorry), General,” they called after her, thankful Anya kept riding. 

Wanheda was led back to the city center where the ceremony never did get to finish taking place. The day hadn’t gone as planned. Once there, the scents got confusing. People were out and celebrating the entwining of their Heda with Wanheda. Their scents were an effective weapon in hiding Ontari’s scent, and Clarke was beginning to realize that the omega nightblood was a cunning enemy. She had outsmarted them. Ontari had used the people against them. 

Their sudden reappearance in the crowd had the citizens of Polis going wild. Heda sitting atop Wanheda was a sight to behold, and it was something that the people would be talking about for weeks.

Clarke was forced to slow to a walk in order not to trample the people flooding in to get a good look at her and her mate. By the time they made it through the gathering, Clarke had completely lost Ontari’s scent. 

Disheartened, she padded back toward the tower. When they got to the entrance, Lexa commanded one of the gona to surrender his coat so Clarke could change back into herself. The man held the coat up, and before he knew it, Clarke was pushing her arms into the sleeves.

The gona bowed then. “Heda, Wanheda.”

Lexa started barking orders immediately. Anya and the others scrambled to obey. Warriors were to begin an extensive search of the city to find the hiding Azgeda girl.

Clarke, who was swimming in the much too large coat, hung her head. “I am sorry, Heda. I lost the scent. I really thought I would be able to catch her.”

Lexa wasn’t going to let Clarke beat herself up. She reached up and put a hand on Clarke’s cheek. “Hodnes, there is no need to apologize. Ontari has probably been trained since she was a young pup to evade pursuers. It’s clear she is smart, and as soon as she saw you, she knew you would be able to track her by scent. Now let’s get you upstairs and into some real clothes, and then we are personally going to move Nia out of the prison to somewhere more secure.”

Clarke didn’t ask what could possibly be more secure than the prison. She was still disappointed that she had missed tracking down the wayward omega, although she knew Lexa was correct. From what she knew of Nia, the woman was cruel and relentless. Whatever she had done to raise her natblida couldn’t have been easy on the girl, and she was sure that whatever barbaric and militaristic measures had been used were so ingrained in the omega that she would be a formidable opponent. Clarke, on the other hand, was brand new to all of this. The fact that she was able to track Ontari back to the city was its own huge accomplishment. Many would have believed that the omega was running back to her homeland.

Clarke was feeling better by the time they got to their rooms. She quickly changed into something more practical, and Lexa had various pieces of armor waiting for her. The stagma (blacksmith) had not yet finished her new armor.

“I hate that my dress was destroyed. I barely had time to enjoy it,” Clarke said sadly.

Lexa, whose dress had only torn a little when she had gotten on Clarke’s back looked nearly perfect, and Clarke was jealous.

“I am sure it can be recreated for you. I too would like to see you in it again. You were a vision.” She gave the omega a quick peck on the lips. “Or, better yet, maybe they could make the material in a night dress for you. I would enjoy seeing you wear it to bed each night.” Lexa got a glazed-over look in her eyes.

“Settle down, alpha. While I love the idea, I think we had better focus on the matter at hand.”

Lexa shook images of Clarke in a short nightie out of her head. “You are correct, niron. Let’s try and get this matter over with because after that we need to deal with Jaha. Then we might finally have some peace and quiet where we can simply enjoy each other.”

“Don’t forget that we also need to figure out the stuff with the bunker and the temple,” Clarke circled Lexa with her arms. “I really want to know how Gaia found it.”

“Me too, hodnes. I think after we get Nia in place, she is going to need to tell us.”

It wasn’t that Gaia was hiding the information from them, there simply hadn’t been time for her to share the story. It had been a whirlwind since their arrival from the cabin. They talked about everything that had gone on since they got back as they walked to the prison. Nia was being kept far from Pike.

The queen was sitting stiffly on her bench, her pale blue eyes turned to them. She gave Lexa a scornful look, but when she saw Clarke standing next to the Commander she jumped from the bench, knelt, and exposed her neck to the omega. 

“W-wanheda.”

Lexa was stunned by Azplana’s behavior. Gone was the smug, confrontational alpha. Standing before them now was a woman not submitting because she had to, but out of respect she had for Wanheda; the woman who had beaten her at her own game.

“We are moving you,” Lexa stated flatly, ignoring the fact that Nia kom Azgeda had not addressed her properly.

“Putting me up in the rooms I deserve as Queen?” There was her missing snark.

“You are no longer Queen, or did you already forget that our blood sworn agreement included your handing the thrown over to your son.”

“No,” she snarled. “I didn’t forget, but you have to find him first. I banished him two years ago. I have heard he has completely disappeared.” The former queen had a smug smirk on her face. “What if you can’t find him? You can’t leave my people leaderless for long.”

It was Lexa’s turn to smirk. “You son happens to be one of the Coalition’s best bounty hunters. I always know where he is. He has been very useful in times of need.”

Nia deflated. She looked back at Clarke. The look she gave her was completely different from the one she gave Lexa. When she looked at Lexa, it was with contempt and pure hatred, but she was no longer looking at Clarke like she thought she was a piece of property to be used in whatever way she saw fit. No, the respect was there, but there was also fear and awe.

Nia mentioned earlier that her ancestors fought for Sheidheda. Clarke had no doubt that the tales they spun of his fall after Wanheda’s disappearance didn’t color her in a good light. If they were fighting alongside Sheidheda, they were on the wrong side of history. It was no wonder that they would pass on stories to make her seem weak, like a coward who ran in the face of danger.

The Ice Queen had learned the hard way that Wanheda was not a creature to be trifled with.

Lexa unlocked the cell door and stepped inside. She could have had Gustus secure Nia, but Lexa wanted the satisfaction of shackling the woman herself. The Azplana had been a cruel and harsh ruler, and the Commander was sure that the woman had personally chained many of her own people for even the smallest infractions. She thought it would do the woman some good to be restrained by the most powerful alpha in the land. 

Lexa let out low levels of dominant pheromones as she moved forward. Not so many as to make Nia submit, but enough to remind her that she was also someone not to be trifled with. 

The alpha had always thought that Nia would challenge her to soulou gonplei (single combat) as a power play to rid herself of the pesky young alpha that strove to unite the twelve clans. Lexa had been waiting for the day, and when she had seen Nia sitting in the crowd earlier, she thought the day had finally come. Never had she imagined a scenario where her mate would be the one to fight the woman. It couldn’t have been more perfect, except for the fact that Nia’s natblida was still on the loose.

“If I am not being taken to the tower, where am I being taken?”

“Somewhere secure,” Lexa said vaguely. “On the way you can tell us how much trouble Ontari is going to give us. She disappeared like a coward during your fight, and now she’s hiding in the Capitol. How big a problem is she going to be?”

Nia couldn’t help herself when she smirked, but then she sighed a sigh of someone who knew her next words would seal her fate. “Enormous. She has been trained for one thing and one thing only. To kill you and win the next Conclave, thus bringing Azgeda the power it rightly deserves.”

“Nia,” Lexa shook her head sadly, “everything I have strived for has been to give all the people equality, so that no one has to fear raids, wars, famine, or illness. With proper infrastructure and trade, all the clans benefit, but all you ever wanted was power. If we could have worked together, I feel like you and I could have achieved this, but now instead of you getting to watch your people prosper and grow, you will sit in a cell and waste away for the rest of your life, or your life will finish at the end of my blade after the rest of the people get their nine-hundred and ninety nine cuts first. That is for the Ambassadors to decide.”

“Not if my natblida does what she was trained to do,” Nia said, but not as confidently as she would have before knowing Wanheda existed. 

Clarke shivered beside her. Basically, Ontari was a trained assassin with one goal in life, to kill Lexa. Say Lexa, in another life, had taken the omega as her mate. How long would it have taken before the girl slit the alpha’s throat in her sleep? Wanheda growled.

“Heda is offering you a potential life sentence, rotting away in a prison cell even after you just confessed your plot to kill her. As the Commander of Death, I don’t know if I can accept that, even if the Ambassadors do vote to spare your life. How will I know that you don’t have other plans in action to take my mate away from me?”

Before Nia could answer, Clarke continued. “Know this, Nia, if your omega hurts even one hair on Heda’s head, I will not hesitate to find you and take your head.”

Nia shuddered knowing that Wanheda was telling the truth. 

Lexa snickered. “While I appreciate it, niron, if Ontari hurts me, or you, I will behead Nia myself.”

Casually speaking of Nia’s death was getting to the Ice alpha, and Lexa noticed very subtle tendrils of distress pheromones wafting off the other alpha. If Clarke had noticed them, she didn’t let on.

Lexa finished securing Nia’s arms behind her back. “Let’s go.” She shoved the older woman in front of her.

As soon as they were out of the prison, they were flanked by Gustus, Ryder, Stryker, and Anya, not to mention several other guards. They effectively made a wall around the two Hedas and the former queen.

When they got to where they were going, Lexa instructed everyone except Anya to remain outside. Gaia was already waiting inside with the hatch to the bunker open.

Clarke was alarmed that Lexa wanted to keep Nia in the bunker, but she had to agree that it was probably the most secure place in the city. She noticed that Gaia had taken a bunch of the obsolete tek from other parts of the room and moved it over to where the hatch to the bunker was, effectively hiding it. She’d probably had to move quite a lot of it to open the hatch. 

It was good thinking. If anyone were to gain access to the room, all they would find were several large piles of junk. The only person on the planet who would be excited about this room would be Raven, and maybe Monty and Sinclair if they ever had the chance to visit Polis.

Once they were standing before the open hatch, Lexa undid Nia’s shackles, allowing her to use her arms to go down the ladder. The woman hesitated.

“What is this place?”

“Just a little something recently found by Wanheda’s Keyronkepa. It’s a place that we will be able to safely tuck you away without worries of Ontari getting to you. Now go.” Lexa nudged her to the ladder and Nia reluctantly started the descent. 

As they got to the bottom, the lighting began to flash on, and Nia startled so badly she actually yelped in surprise. With eyes the size of saucers, she looked up at the electric lights.

“H-heda. What is this sorcery?”

Lexa gave her a mirthless smile. “Nothing that concerns you, Nia.” Lexa covered Nia’s head with a canvas bag, then she pushed her forward again. They passed through the main chamber of the bunker and guided her down several different halls, none of which came near to where the temple was. After about five minutes, Lexa pushed open the door to Nia’s new prison. 

Gaia had found the room on her first pass through the bunker, and it must have been used as a sleeping room for the previous residents. There were four sets of bunk beds, and there was even an attached bathroom with a small toilet and sink inside. Lexa wondered if there was running water.

The bag was ripped off Nia’s head. “You will be staying here for the time being,” Lexa informed the other alpha.

“You can’t leave me down here,” Nia protested, finally starting to crack.

“I can and I will, but don’t worry. Gaia will personally see to it that you aren’t forgotten about. She will bring you food and water twice a day, and she will bring you something to read to pass the time.” Lexa smirked. “Am I correct in assuming you can read?”

Nia growled. “Of course, I can read.”

Lexa and Clarke turned to walk away, but the Commander turned back as if she forgot to say something. “Oh, and Nia, don’t even think about trying to overcome Gaia either by force or pheromones. As far as we can tell, this bunker goes under the entirety of the city. Even if you get out of this room, it could take you weeks to find your way out, and if you do get that far, the men guarding the hatch will not hesitate to lop off your head at first sight.”

Lexa shut the door and made sure it was sealed. The trio of women walked in silence until they were sure they were out of ear shot.

“Gaia,” Lexa began, “I think now would be a good time to tell us how you found the bunker.”

It turns out that Gaia had had the key to the bunker around her neck almost her entire life. The medallion had been given to her by her komfoni (grandmother) when she was very young. She had always held it dear, almost never taking it off, because her komfoni had died shortly after giving it to her. It was all she had of the amazing woman who had been Indra’s mother. 

All she could remember of the day her komfoni died was that she was called to the woman’s death bed, and the old woman shooed everyone else out of the room. She had held the pendant out to Gaia with a shaky, arthritic hand, and she had made Gaia swear that she would never lose it, telling her that one day it would unearth a whole new world.

“I didn’t know what she meant then, but I vowed to keep the medallion safe, and I did.” Soulful brown found Lexa. “It wasn’t until I was scrounging through the tek in the room above us that I found the impression of the medallion in the floor of the room. It was then that I realized that all along I had been carrying a key.”

Gaia told them that as soon as she reached out to touch the impression on the floor, she was flooded by images of the former Keyronkepas. Her grandmother had been the Keyronkepa to Wanheda before she disappeared and left Sheidheda to the mercy of his people. 

“She had been very young then, and brand new to her post, but she knew that one day Wanheda would reappear, and the key would be necessary upon her return.”

Clarke looked confused. “But how is the bunker necessary now? Sure, there’s the temple, but the bunker itself has no use.”

They all stopped walking. “That may not be true,” Lexa pointed out. “From what Gaia has told us, we have barely begun to find out the secrets of the bunker.” The alpha pointed up. “I, for one, would like to know how these lights are being powered.” She raised an eyebrow in question to Gaia.

“I don’t know either, Heda, and trust me, I have been trying to figure it out. The only other place I have seen lights like these were when I visited Arkadia. I have searched for a source, but I cannot find one.”

Clarke scratched her head. “It has to be around here somewhere, and if it has been working all this time, and can still provide power, it may be able to power this whole city.” She took Lexa’s hand in her left, and Gaia’s in her right. “Just think if we could bring electric light to Polis. There would be less need for firewood with a resultant decrease in the risk for fires, and with that kind of power, even the plumbing might be able to be updated.” 

Clarke closed her eyes. “Just think of being able to turn on a faucet and have warm water come out of it. Then there could be showers instead of baths, and just the water saved would be enough to irrigate the fields each year. Really, the possibilities would be endless.”

“You would give up baths for that?” Lexa teased.

Clarke’s eyes flashed open. “I didn’t say that, but sometimes it would be handy to take a quick shower instead of a bath.”

Lexa looked back at Gaia. “There hasn’t been anything in what you found, or in your visions, that indicates what the source could be?”

Gaia shook her head as she thought about it. “The only thing I can think of, and it was only referenced once, was something called the Anomaly Stone, but it may be nothing, and I don’t know if it means it is an actual stone, or something else.”

“I would like to see this reference,” Lexa stated. “Was there a picture to go with the reference?”

“There wasn’t. Moba, Heda.”

“It is more information than we had before,” Lexa reassured, “and I won’t deny that it would be exciting if we were able to bring electricity to the city. It would be life altering for everyone.”

“I think that perhaps we need to let Raven and my mom have a look,” Clarke said. “That is if we can pull Raven away from all the junk tek above us first.”

“I think all we will have to do, hodnes, is open the hatch to the bunker. There is no way that our little bird will be able to keep her curiosity at bay.”

“Curiosity killed the cat,” Clarke quipped.

“And satisfaction brought it back.” Gaia smiled.

They all chuckled. Raven was nothing if not curious. Clarke thought having her mom check out the bunker might not be a bad idea either because if it was still up and running, then there was likely to be medical technology down there, and if it still worked, there would be instant advances in the way medicine was treated by the grounders.

When they got above ground again, it was dark outside and late. Most of the revelers had gone home. Clarke could hardly believe that it was still the same day. So much had happened, and with the revelations about the bunker, she felt as if an entire week had passed.

She groaned. “This day isn’t over yet, is it? We still have Ontari to worry about.”

“Not tonight, niron.” Lexa put her arm around Clarke’s waist. “I am tripling the guard this evening,” she looked at Gaia, “that goes for you too, and we will resume our search in the morning. If the omega is foolish enough to attempt to get to us in the tower, she will be in for a hell of a surprise.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Clarke yawned, realizing just how tired she was. “I am still sleeping with a dagger under my pillow tonight.”

Lexa scoffed. “Ai tombom (my heart), you should sleep with a dagger under your pillow every night. It’s only prudent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ontari is a sneaky, smart little thing. She's going to be causing more trouble in the future.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the continued support of this story. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate every comment and kudo.

Chapter 25

Clarke woke with a start when the dagger she had hidden under her pillow clattered to the floor. A green eye opened.

“Hodnes, the reason for keeping a weapon under your pillow is for protection, not to knock it on the floor and wake your wife.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Well, unlike you, I haven’t spent my life with a knife under my pillow. It will take some getting used to.”

Lexa sat up on the side of the bed, thankful that she had braided her hair before retiring for the night. She didn’t have the energy to deal with the knots she would have had. She stood and filled a cup from a pitcher and drank. She refilled it and handed it to Clarke who happily drained it.

“You have no idea how much I wish we could just stay in bed,” the groggy omega muttered.

“Trust me, I feel exactly the same way,” Lexa said as she slipped on her robe. “Unfortunately, we need to deal with our missing omega problem first.”

Clarke groaned, wishing their ceremony yesterday could have gone off without a hitch. At least Nia was in captivity. That, at best, was one less thing to worry about.

Clarke sat up. She had not taken the time to braid her hair like Lexa had, and she was regretting it. Lexa snickered when she looked at her. “You look like a lion, hodnes.”

Clarke stood and looked at herself in the mirror. She did look like she had a lion’s mane. Her hair was sticking out in all directions. She sighed. “We don’t have time for this today.”

As if on cue, two hand maidens entered their suite. Clarke could hear them on the other side of the door setting out their breakfast. “Think I can convince them to help me tame this?”

“Just open the door and let them see you. You won’t even have to ask.”

Clarke did just that, and after the two women got over their fit of giggles seeing the state of Heda’s mate’s hair, they whisked Clarke into the bathroom to help her get ready for the day. Fifteen minutes later, Clarke was clean and dressed with her hair neatly pulled back in a pony tail.

Green lustful eyes took her in. “Why have you not ever worn your hair like that before?” She stood and carefully touched Clarke’s hair, entranced.

“It’s just a ponytail, Lex,” Clarke said to the smitten alpha.

“Yes, but on you, hodnes…”

Lexa didn’t get to finish her statement. There was one quick knock on the door, and a boisterous Raven and subdued Anya walked in.

Raven walked straight to the table laden with food and helped herself to a pastry.

With her mouth full, she said, “I will never get over how good the food is here.”

“Please, help yourself,” Lexa snarked.

“Thanks, Heda.” The Skai alpha sat and dished herself some food oblivious to the fact that Lexa was being sarcastic.

“So, I hear you have some stuff for me to look at today. Wanna tell me what it is?”

“I think we would prefer to show you,” Lexa said, finally filling a plate first for Clarke, and then for herself. She gestured for Anya to sit, but the General declined saying she had already eaten and preferred to stand.

“If she ate, that means you did too,” Clarke said to Raven.

“And?”

Anya had to growl at Raven multiple times to get her to settle down while walking from the tower to where the bunker entrance was hidden. The mechanic had no idea what she was going to be shown, but she loved surprises and couldn’t control her excitement. It might also have had something to do with the fact that growly Anya was going to be hitting her rut soon, and she was eager to share it with the alpha. After the spectacular debacle that was Heda’s introduction of Wanheda, Anya had asked Raven to share her rut with her, and she still couldn’t get over how shy and tentative the other alpha had been. The General had almost been embarrassed to ask, but Raven had squashed those fears with a heart stopping kiss that practically left Anya googly eyed. 

Raven still couldn’t get over how compatible she was with the other alpha. When she was young, she always imagined herself with a beautiful omega. For a while, she had even thought she had an attraction to Finn, but thankfully that infatuation had worn off quickly.

The first time she saw Anya though, she knew the Trikru General was the one for her, and never once did she question the fact that Anya was an alpha. She didn’t care about that, and she was elated when she found out that no one on the ground did either. The Arkers were a different story, but Raven didn’t give a fuck what they thought.

She and Anya spoke extensively about what it would be like to share a rut together, and Anya worried because Raven wasn’t also going to be in rut that she might hurt her, but the Skai alpha assured her that she wouldn’t. 

Since she wasn’t also going to be in rut, she wondered at her chances of getting pregnant. She knew the chance was extremely low, but there had been the rare alpha pregnancy recorded from before the bombs. She wondered if the grounders had any records of such an event.

She touched her belly as she looked at Anya and wondered what it would be like to have pups with her, but she shook herself out of it. Truly the chances were slim to none, and even if it did happen it would be a high-risk pregnancy. 

All thoughts of Anya, ruts, and pups left her head when she was led into an old crumbling building. She had probably already walked by the place ten times in the past few days, but the structure had such an unassuming presence it hadn’t even caught her eye.

Inside however, that was another story. The place was cram packed full of spools of old wiring, solar panels, computer keyboards, and a huge assortment of all kinds of tek. She squealed and danced a little jig. 

“This is the best surprise ever,” she ran into the room. “Oh, hi Gaia,” she said as an afterthought, seeing the Clarke’s Spirit Keeper standing there. She was about to dig into an especially intriguing pile when Anya stopped her. 

“That isn’t the surprise strik sora (little bird).” Anya’s voice was gruff and sent a zing right to Raven’s core.

“You mean there’s another one? There couldn’t possibly be anything better than this.”

Clarke chuckled. “Trust me. It’s better.”

In the end, they decided to blindfold the mechanic. Gaia opened the hatch to the bunker, and Anya got on the ladder while Lexa guided Raven to it. The Skai alpha was a good sport about being led down a ladder while blindfolded. She trusted Anya and Lexa to get her back on solid ground. It didn’t stop her from leaking slight distress pheromones.

“I’ve got you, binch (goofball). I will not let you fall.” Anya held onto Raven protectively. Once off the ladder, Anya led her into the center of what was probably the common gathering space of the bunker. Then for two minutes everyone just stood there. 

They had figured out that the lights were motion activated, so they waited for the lights to go off before taking Raven’s blindfold off. It was pitch black, and Clarke couldn’t help the whimper that escaped. It reminded her of her time in solitary. Each night the lights would turn out to conserve energy, and she would be plunged into darkness for eight hours every night. Lexa squeezed her hand.

“Don’t be afraid when I take this off, Raven,” Anya said, indicating the blindfold. “It’s going to be dark.”

“O-okay. I trust you, Anya.”

Once the blindfold was off, Raven gasped. The darkness was absolute. “There is nothing in front of you, ai sora (my bird), take three steps forward.”

Everyone could feel the increase in Raven’s pheromones, but she did as instructed, and after only the first step, the lights started to click on. “What the fuck?” Raven exclaimed in surprise. She spun in slow circle. “I don’t understand. Where are we?”

“It’s a long story,” Gaia stepped forward, “but I found it while Heda and Wanheda were away mating.”

“This is one hell of a find. How has no one found it before?” Raven asked. She was still spinning, trying to take in every detail of what was in front of her.

“Another long story. One for later. What we were hoping is that you can figure out what is powering the lights. We cannot figure out the source.”

Raven looked up. “It shouldn’t be too hard. I just need to get into one of the walls and find the wiring, but please, please tell me I can explore this place first.” 

“Of course, Raven,” Lexa said. “You can stay down here as long as you would like as long as Gaia and/or Anya are with you.”

Raven pumped her fist in the air and Anya smiled at her exuberance. “Can I show her the temple?” Anya asked.

Clarke, Gaia, and Lexa looked at one another and shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”

Lexa and Clarke left the other three down in the bunker and returned topside. They still had an Ice omega problem to solve.

Clarke would have laughed at how many guards were protecting them, but after Nia’s warning about Ontari’s upbringing, they weren’t taking any chances. She scented the air as soon as they were outside. It was still relatively early, and the streets weren’t too busy. It was going to be a warm day. The promise of spring was in the air.

She enjoyed that her senses were heightened when she was herself and not in wolf form, but she was disappointed when she wasn’t able to catch the scent of the omega who they were almost positive was hiding in the city. She was going to have to change into the wolf if she were to try and successfully locate Ontari.

She was just about the suggest to Lexa that she change when Dasha and Corsac found them. They both bowed regally to the leaders.

“Azplana’s omega is no longer in the city,” Corsac said. Clarke almost missed his words. Dasha was wearing an oversized hockey jersey and almost threadbare skinny jeans with her utilitarian black boots. The omega was trying not to laugh at how out of place the female tracker looked in Ark clothing. She was sure Raven must have found the clothes for the woman and probably traded them to her for something far more valuable than the two pieces of clothing Dasha now sported. 

Lexa growled. “How do you know?”

“We tracked her all night, Heda. That one is cunning. She led us on a goose chase through the city and almost lost her trail. We picked it back up in the forest.”

“She is heading back home?” Lexa inquired.

“No Heda,” Dasha said. “She is heading south toward Ton DC, and we may have a slight problem.” The tracker ducked her eyes.

A threatening growl left Heda. “Tell me,” she commanded.

“She is no longer alone. Her tracks met up with someone else’s, a male judging by the size of the tracks. Whoever she met up with isn’t very good at hiding his tracks or he just doesn’t care.”

The rumbling in Lexa’s throat increased. “Why aren’t you still following them?” She bellowed.

Both trackers bowed their heads. “We lost all trace of them at the river,” Corsac said. “I traveled north while Dasha went south. We met back up after two hours. There was no sign of them. They must have trekked through the water for longer than would be advisable with how cold the temperature of the water is.”

“Jok,” Lexa yelled. She had to clench her fists at her side not to lose control. She could feel Clarke sending soothing pheromones her way. She took in a deep breath. “If you had to guess, which direction do you think they went?”

“It would have been easier to escape by going in the direction of the water,” Dasha figured, “so I think they continued the way they were going: south.”

Lexa started barking out orders including sending her fastest messenger to Ton DC and Indra. Finding a trained nightblood who was hiding out in Trikru lands would be nearly impossible, but they had to try. Lexa and Clarke would be under threat until the omega, and now her new companion, were found.

The Commander was pacing angrily. This was not how their return to Polis was supposed to go. They didn’t even get to participate in their own celebration of their mating, and while Wanheda was introduced and accepted by her people, it wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Nothing had gone the way she expected. It was a loss of control that she didn’t like. It was certainly not something she was used to. Since becoming Heda, things had mostly gone her way, but Nia and her damned omega had ruined everything.

Sensing her mate’s growing anger, Clarke walked up to and hugged her, stopping her progress. “Let’s go see if Olaf has finished any of my armor, and then let’s head into the woods. Let me try to find her. “Maybe if Dasha and Corsac can show me where they lost them at the river, I will be able to catch some residual scent.”

“Niron, I don’t know if…”

“You have to let me try, Lex.” Clarke was pleading. “What good is it for me to be able to change into such a magnificent creature if I’m not able to use it to our advantage.”

“You are right, hodnes.”

“I’m what?” Clarke teased. 

“You are not wrong,” Lexa conceded. “Let’s go see the stigma (blacksmith).”

By luck, the man had just finished Clarke’s armor, and it may have been the most wonderful thing the Commander had ever seen. 

Olaf had Clarke step into the other room as her new armor required her to take off the clothing she was wearing. She quickly changed and marveled at how flexible and comfortable it was. 

“Now change into the pakstoka, Wanheda.”

She did, and the armor that she had just put on expanded to fit her as the wolf. Lexa and Olaf gasped. 

The giant blacksmith was beaming. “I wasn’t sure that it would really work.”

Clarke strutted in front of them, turning her head back and forth trying to see herself. The thin, expandable metal plates almost covered her entire body. As it was, her most vulnerable parts were well protected. 

Olaf handed Lexa a wolf shaped helmet. It was solid metal, but light. She held it up for Clarke to inspect, and golden eyes initially narrowed. A helmet hadn’t been part of the plan.

“Humor me, Wanheda, beja (please).” Olaf pleaded.

Clarke lowered her head and allowed Lexa to place the metal piece on her head. Clarke was right when she used the word magnificent earlier. She was, and with her full body armor, and now her head covering, she looked fierce and truly frightening. The helmet was made to encompass most of Wanheda’s head while allowing freedom of movement. It didn’t restrict her from moving her jaw at all, and her ears were free. The top portion of the piece covered the upper part of her muzzle. It didn’t come so low as to cover her nose, but it was fashioned to make it look as if she had an extra row of piercing fangs.

“This is the only piece that she will need help with. I know it probably isn’t necessary,” Olaf said, “but it never hurts to have as much protection as possible, and as your Skai mechanic likes to say, it makes you look badass.” 

Clarke gave him a throaty laugh. 

“He is correct. You will strike fear into the hearts of anyone who sees you,” Lexa observed.

They finally arrived to the portion of the river where Corsac and Dasha lost Ontari’s trail. They were farther from Polis than expected. Clarke lifted her giant head to scent the air. There is the faintest trace of the Ice omega still wafting on the currents. Wanheda looked up then down river. She walked directly into the chilly water. Lexa protested from where she sat perched on her horse, but Clarke paid her no mind. She was focused on the task at hand, and that was finding the woman who had it out for her mate.

She sniffed one more time and made a decision. She started heading downstream, protected from the frigid water by the thick fur that surrounded her legs and spewed out from between each toe pad that made up her four paws. 

Lexa, just four mornings ago, was teasing Clarke about her unruly toe fur. The alpha had lifted a giant paw as the omega purred under her mate’s scrutiny. Blonde fur, different from the white fur that covered almost the rest of Clarke’s body, spilled out from in between each toe pad and curled in every different direction. Lexa had played with the silky threads and was surprised at how sensitive Clarke was when the fur was manipulated. The fur between her toes appeared to be almost as sensitive as the wolf’s whiskers. Lexa figured that it gave her not only protection, but also served to allow her mate to sense vibrations and other clues that may emanate from the ground as Wanheda padded over it.

Now, in the icy waters, its sole purpose was to protect as Clarke waded deeper into the churning water. 

Lexa followed at the side of the river with Anya, Gustus, Ryder, and Stryker. The General had been called out of the bunker, reluctantly leaving behind the ever enthusiastic Raven who had barely made it past the main chamber of the bunker because she found so many technological delights that she had to investigate each and every one.

Lexa could feel her General’s agitation. Anya was gruff and grumpy, and the alpha was having a hard time controlling her ever increasing pheromones. The Commander grinned. Anya’s rut would hit within the day, and she was happy that her friend would have someone to share it with. 

In the past, Anya had, on the rare occasion, shared her rut with one of the many betas clamoring for her attention, but no one had ever caught her eye. The alpha had been too embroiled in her duties as General to even consider a lasting relationship with another person, but since the time Anya met Raven, Lexa could see the budding interest. 

Within the hard exterior of her mentor, there was a building softness. She had seen her friend smile more in the past few months than she had in all the years she had known her, and she knew it was because of her friend’s growing feelings for the inquisitive alpha who fell from the sky.

Without even realizing it, as lost in her thoughts as she was, Lexa found that they had already traveled downriver for about two miles, but now they had come to a stop, and Anya was grousing her complaints from her horse.

“Wanheda, you have been smelling that same damn pebble for the last three minutes. Surely the smell can’t be that interesting.” Anya was fidgeting uncomfortably and making the leather of her saddle creak. 

Golden eyes finally lifted to stare at the alpha. Anya shifted in her saddle. Clarke had been an imposing figured before, but with her new armor, even the General was having a hard time not being intimidated by her form.

Clarke stared at her for a moment before going back to sniffing the rock. The omega took a step forward and continued to inhale the different scents around her. 

Lexa watched as her mate slowly inched forward. She had obviously found something, and she could feel Clarke’s anxiety blossoming in her own chest. It was so painful that she found herself rubbing at her own breastbone. 

“Clarke, what have you found?” Lexa inquired. 

The wolf lifted her head once again but shook it back and forth indicating she wasn’t sure. Lexa knew that whatever it was, it was sending a sense of dread through her mate. 

Clarke continued to wander away from the river, never once lifting her head again. She ended up finding a trail so disturbing that she wanted to run the other direction, but her duty didn’t allow it. She knew what she was smelling, and she also knew that when she found the end of the trail, it was going to send her mate in a tailspin.

The trail led Clarke to the outskirts of a lonely field. The grasses and wildflowers it must have held in spring lie flat on the ground, smashed down by the previous snow. The dead vegetation was no match for the weight of the winter. The snow has since melted, with the promise of the coming spring, but the field still looks lifeless and desolate except for the frail figure lying on the ground, although he was almost lifeless himself.

Clarke was the first to see the man. She had ended up well ahead of the group of people around her. They had gotten distracted by a large pool of blood half a mile back. The omega, however, knew that wasn’t the end of the trail and had gone on without them. Only Ryder was nearby, but he was oblivious to the horror that was before him, still too far away to see for himself.

Wanheda let out a small whimper as she carefully approached the fallen man. He had a slow oozing wound in his stomach. It was a fatal gash, but it was also one that would kill him excruciatingly slowly and painfully. 

His eyes were glazed over but cleared up in alarm when he saw the giant creature approaching him. He had never seen her in this form before, but he knew who she was.

“Wanheda,” he said.

Clarke placed her left front paw over his heart, not to scare him, but to reassure him. She flooded him with comforting pheromones, trying to help him relax away from the fear she knew her felt.

She chuffed at him once, before lifting her head and letting out a howl. It was only minutes before the rest of the group came charging up on their horses.

Lexa was off hers and kneeling beside the injured man in a flash.

“Titus.” Lexa exclaimed. She looked at her dying advisor and felt nothing but agony. Titus may have challenged her and said unforgivable things about her mate in their last meeting, but he was still one of her mentors, and the only father figure she had. Seeing him bleeding into the dirt hurt more than she ever knew it would.

“Heda,” he said weakly. “I have failed you. Moba, Heda.”

“Titus don’t speak. Save your strength, we will get you back to Polis, and the healers…”

The Flamekeeper shook his head. He gave her a mirthless smile. “There is no saving me now.” He looked over at Wanheda. “I am sorry I doubted you, Commander of Death. I lost my way, and it seems I will pay for that mistake with my life.”

Lexa, who was trying to keep the tears collecting in her eyes from falling looked over at her mate. Clarke started to pump out even more of her calming scent, trying to ease the pain of both her mate and her mate’s long-time mentor.

“Who…who did this to you?” Lexa was finally able to ask. She had torn a piece of her shirt off and was pressing it to the wound on Titus’s abdomen, making him grimace.

“A young omega from Azgeda. She found me drinking at the side of the river. She claimed to be a nightblood.” Titus had to pause. He was having trouble catching his breath. “She tried to convince me that it was her birthright to be the next Commander. She wanted me to rise up against you and swear loyalty to her.” Pained eyes found Lexa’s again. “I refused to do it. I made a grievous mistake, Heda, and I temporarily lost my way, but I found my way back.” His face contorted as a painful cramp wracked his body. “I was going to take my banishment and use it to learn and grow. I wanted to come back to you a better man. I never meant to disappoint you, Heda.”

A tear slipped from his eye. He reached out a hand for his Heda, and Lexa took it immediately. “’Beja, Heda, please end this pain for me. Heda, ai gonplei ste odon (my fight is over).”

Clarke stood behind Lexa, and she quickly changed back. Titus lifted his tired eyes, and even he couldn’t hide the awe in them as she went from wolf to woman. The omega felt a burning need in her chest. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. She was the Commander of Death, and it was imperative that she help this soul find its rest. No matter her feelings for the man, he needed help to move on, and the spirit within her was driving her to ease his torment, but she knew she couldn’t, and it was tearing her apart. She couldn’t because she knew it needed to be Heda who ended this man’s misery.

While she knew it would destroy a part of her mate to have to end the life of her friend, because he was, he was Lexa’s friend, something deep inside Clarke knew that it had to be Lexa that took Titus from this world, but she also knew that she would be the one to send him on to the next.

Tears were streaming from Lexa’s eyes as she unsheathed her dagger. She looked in Titus’ eyes and held them for so long that Clarke knew they’d had an entire silent conversation that only the two of them were privy to. Lexa then gently placed the tip of her knife against the Fleimkepa’s chest. 

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” Lexa slid the knife between his ribs and into his heart. 

“Mochof, Heda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Titus met his end in a completely different way than I expected. It came to me while I was dying on the treadmill at the gym. Seems fitting, I suppose. 
> 
> Titus is a character I struggle with. I hate, hate, hate, what happened with him and Lexa on the show, but I have to admit that I know where he was coming from (it took a long time for me to realize that because I was so busy hating him). He thought he was doing the right thing, but sometimes trying to do what you think right thing leads to disastrous and deadly results. Clarke can certainly attest to that. At least in this story, he realized his faults before he died. 
> 
> I think one of the things I love about The 100 is that it has always put its characters in positions of trying to do the right thing only to realize later that what they thought was right came with huge costs. There have also been so many times where the characters come to realize that what they once thought was right was so very wrong.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Put your hats and coats on. Winter is coming.

Chapter 26

Clarke stood over the body of the Flamekeeper. Lexa was still kneeling beside him, silently weeping, facing away from all the others so they couldn’t see her. The omega moved so that she was kneeling next to her mate, and then she gently removed Lexa’s hand from the dagger that was still embedded in Titus’ chest. Once Lexa’s hand was securely in her lap, Clarke carefully pulled the weapon from the man’s body and set it next to her.

Clarke placed her hand over the wound and thus over Titus’ heart. As soon as her flesh touched his, images of hieroglyphics and prayers for the dead swirled through her head, and she found herself speaking a prayer she had never heard before.

“Death is but a doorway to new life. We live today, we shall live again. In many forms shall we return.” It was an Egyptian prayer of resurrection. “May we meet again.”

She was surprised that it was an echo of the prayer she said when her father was floated.

“In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground.”

With her final words, she felt a warm tingling in her hand that travelled up her arm, and then through her entire body, and instinctively she knew it was the Flamekeeper’s soul leaving his earthly remains and moving on to his next life. She closed her eyes as the last tendrils of his life left her body, and for the first time she felt the gravity of what it meant to be the Commander of Death and the Catalyst for Rebirth. By helping Titus move on, she hoped that he would have a new life free of worry and strife, wherever or whenever that would be.

She sat next to her conflicted houmon until Lexa started to shiver from the cold. Then she urged her to rise. Anya and Gustus came forward to prepare the body for its return to Polis for a proper funeral pyre, but the Commander held up her hand, halting their movement.

Sorrowful green eyes stared back at them. “He spent years counseling me, helping me. Without him I wouldn’t be the Commander I am, and our last words were in anger.” She looked up to the sky trying to prevent further tears from slipping from her eyes. “I banished him instead of trying to return counsel. I used anger instead of words, and now my advisor…my friend is dead.”

Clarke moved to embrace her mate, but she was surprised when the hulking form of Gustus beat her to it. He lifted Heda into his arms and held her as if she weighed nothing more than a child. 

“Do not punish yourself for this ai strik triklama (my little squirrel).” Lexa gave him an almost imperceptible smile. The nickname is one she earned when she was very young and Anya and Gustus were training her to climb trees. She had been so wiry and scrappy then that she couldn’t properly ascend the branches, but being determined she grasped the trunks of the tree with her arms, and through sheer determination she got herself up to the first branches of the tree. Gustus and Anya sat below her and said she looked like a triklama scampering up a tree. For a while, the nickname stuck, until Lexa became proficient in her training. Now only Gustus used it, and only ever as a term of endearment.

“Titus lost his way. His path, his zodon (fate) led him to this moment, and without it, he may never have found his way back, but in the end, he saw the error of his ways. Many of us do not reach that level of enlightenment before we die.” 

It was a hard pill to swallow, but Lexa nodded once. They did not have time for her to sit and wallow in misery. Gustus put her down, and the instant her feet touched the ground again the mask of Heda returned. 

“Ryder, Stryker, please return Titus to Polis and summon Gaia so that she can begin the rituals for a fallen Flaimkepa.”

The men nodded and began to prepare the body. Lexa couldn’t watch. She was riddled with guilt over having sent the man away.

“Anya and Gustus you are with us.” She looked at her mate. “Change back into the pakstoka. I want Ontari found, and I want her now.”

Clarke dipped her head once in acknowledgement and shifted. Watery green eyes found hers and Lexa walked over. She reached up and sank her head into the fur of Clarke’s neck.

“Moba, Clarke. I did not mean to command you. I never want you to do something because I commanded you to.”

Clarke wished she could hug Lexa in that moment but didn’t shift back. Instead she leaned her body into her wife and gave her the tiniest lick on her face. Her chest started to rumble with loud purrs, and she used her scent to alleviate some of Heda’s grief and acknowledged that Lexa hadn’t hurt her feelings.

When Lexa had banished Titus from her lands, she told Clarke that she knew it was likely that he would never return. Never once did the Commander imagine his death at the hands of a nightblood. Clarke’s heart hurt for her mate. She knew this was another thing that had happened in the Commander’s life that would cause her guilt for the rest of her life, and the omega silently vowed to find a way for Lexa to release all the guilt she carried within her.

The four of them travelled for hours down the bank of the river until it took a hard turn to the west. It was there that Clarke caught Ontari’s scent again, but it was faint. The omega nightblood had a huge head start on them, and they were beginning to realize that they weren’t going to catch her until she stopped moving. Any grounder worth their salt knew that if they were being hunted it was unwise to cease their movement. Ontari wouldn’t stop until it became absolutely necessary.

Clarke was no longer sniffing at the air. She whined. She nodded to the muddy bank of the river where it turned. There were two sets of tracks heading south.

Lexa groaned and wondered if this day would continue to get worse. Anya dropped to the ground from her horse. She moved to stand beside Wanheda. She squatted down to get a better look at the two sets of tracks. 

One was smaller and the tread pattern of the boot was distinctly that of those made in Azgeda, but the second set of tracks froze Anya. The footprints left behind were of someone large, likely male, and Trikru. There was no mistaking the tread on the prints left behind. It was the tread of a standard issue boot that was provided to all Trikru gona by Heda. Ontari was travelling with one of Lexa’s warriors.

Anya took in a deep breath and held it for exactly three seconds before letting it out. She turned to Heda, who was still on her horse waiting expectantly for Anya to report her findings.

“Heda,” Anya started cautiously. She was having trouble controlling her emotions. With her rut so near, and her desire to get back to Raven, she wanted to hurry this trip along, but she feared the hunt to find Ontari was only just beginning. She steeled herself and pushed her feelings about her impending rut and Raven aside. She had a duty to uphold.

“Heda,” she repeated. “It would appear that Ontari is travelling with one of your gona.”

A low, threatening growl started to rumble in Lexa’s chest. “What do you mean? Ontari was travelling with Titus until she confronted him.”

Anya shook her head. “That’s what we thought, but Titus said she found him at the side of the river. Her companion must have been standing in the water and that is why there were no tracks from him at the sight where Titus was attacked. These prints are not a match to Titus’ footwear. There is no doubt that they belong to one of your warriors.”

The growl increased and Lexa’s scent became flinty with promises of punishment to the warrior who deserted his post. “Who would be travelling with her? None of my gona have asked for leave.” Lexa was dumbfounded at the fact that one of her men would desert their post. She thought she had the loyalty of everyone who served under her. Clearly, she was wrong.

“We will need to do a rollcall in Polis, TonDc, and at the blockade around Arkadia to find out who is missing,” Gustus informed. “It will be the only way to find out who it is.”

“Jok,” Lexa screamed. “We do not have time for this.” The alpha scrubbed her hands up and down her face. “I want to know now who you think would have deserted their ranks. Have there been complaints, disagreements with how I have handled things, or infighting among our men?”

Anya and Gustus had to think. They needed a minute, but Lexa didn’t give it to them. “Nau (now), General,” Heda barked, making both the General and the bodyguard jump.

Anya was quick to answer, thinking off the top of her head. “Tristan was not happy that you made the initial alliance with Skaikru, but he has since fallen in line. Artigas, had similar complaints, but I sent him on a scouting mission weeks ago with several other men. I have since had reports from them. Quint was extremely vocal about his displeasure that you were to mate Clarke kom Skaikru. His brother was one of the three hundred that perished by her hand at the drop ship, and he believed she deserved to be put on the tree, and…”

Clarke quickly shifted back. “Quint. It has to be him. I didn’t think anything of it, but for the short time we were back in Polis, I caught him staring at me several times. I could feel his aggression.”

Lexa snarled. “Why am I only finding out about this now?”

Clarke almost snarled back at her but didn’t. “Like I said, I didn’t think anything of it. It’s not like he’s the first alpha to look at me that way. I mean, until recently, every look I got from an alpha was aggressive. It’s just a fact of my life.”

“Joken (fucking) Skai alphas,” Gustus grunted out. All three women looked at him in surprise. In all the time Lexa and Anya had known him they had never heard him cuss before. He saw their reaction and shrugged. “What, it’s true.”

“While that may be, Clarke, I want you to tell me any time you feel any aggression from any of my warriors.” Lexa said.

Clarke rolled her eyes but agreed to this. “You know, if it is Quint, his presence could explain how Ontari got out of the city so quickly during my fight with Nia, and it would also explain how she was able to return without a trace. He’s helping her, I know it.”

“If this is true, he already knew who Ontari was before she arrived in the city. That means he was working with Nia.” The certainty in Lexa’s voice had everyone groaning.

“I think Heda’s right. He was probably working with the Azplana before she even entered the city.” Gustus looked worried. “I caught him lurking around the tower several times, but when I questioned him, he said he was doing routine security checks. I didn’t question it, because he has done them in the past along with any number of gona.” The big man ducked his head. “I am sorry, Heda. I should have investigated further.”

Lexa surprised her bodyguard. “You couldn’t have known. Quint has always been faithful to me and the Coalition.”

Lexa got off her horse and stalked over to where Clarke had found the tracks. She held her hand over the footprint but didn’t disturb it. Looking up at Clarke she asked, “Before, when you caught him staring at you, did you catch his scent? Can you smell it now?”

Clarke shook her head. “I know betas don’t communicate their scents as strongly as alphas and omegas, but they still have a scent. Quint’s was nearly imperceptible. He was either very good at hiding it, or he was masking it somehow. I don’t get any traces of anyone here except for Ontari.”

Lexa was pacing now. “Skrish. We still need to do a rollcall. We can’t just assume it is Quint just because Wanheda says it is.” She quickly looked to Clarke. “It isn’t that I doubt you, niron, but we have to follow protocol to know for sure.”

“I know, Lex. I’m not offended.” Clarke gave her mate a lopsided smile. “There is also the matter of Anya’s rut. She’s transmitting stronger than one of Raven’s radios, and I may be mated to you, but it’s even making me edgy. I can feel her discomfort. She needs to be allowed to go back to Polis and Raven.”

Lexa closed her eyes. She knew she needed to let her General go, but at the same time they needed to press on and find Ontari and now Quint. If Clarke was saying it was him, then it was him. She trusted her wife’s instincts, but she still needed to follow proper procedure. 

“Gustus, I want you to ride on to TonDc. Inform Indra of what’s happening and have her fastest messenger ride to the blockade.” She turned to Anya. “Ai lukot, (my friend), get back to Polis. I believe that when all our men are accounted for you will find that Quint is the missing man. Make sure to get the message to Indra, Gustus, and me as soon as possible, and then take as much time as you need with your strik sora (little bird). The next time I see you, if you don’t have a mating mark, I am kicking you out of the Coalition.”

“Lexa.” Anya was shocked. “We are sharing my rut, that is all.”

Lexa gave her mentor and friend and earnest look. “Anya, we all see how happy Raven makes you, and when I look at her, I see how happy you make her. I know in my heart that she is meant to be your mate. Go, share your rut, and mate the woman you love.”

“Heda…mochof.” Anya was surprised by her Heda. Before Lexa met Clarke, the alpha Commander wouldn’t have been so generous. Duty came before all else; ruts be damned if you were a gona, general, or wormana (war chief). That Lexa was letting her abandon their current mission of finding Ontari spoke volumes about how much her Heda had changed.

Anya was about to mount her horse when Clarke whispered something in her ear. Lexa saw her fos turn bright red in embarrassment. Lexa could count on exactly one finger how many times she had seen Anya mortified. The General quickly got on her horse and charged off before anyone else could get a look at or tease her.

Gustus left soon after leaving Lexa and Clarke alone by the river’s edge. “What did you say that embarrassed my general?”

Clarke gave her a sheepish look. “Oh, I may have shared one of Raven’s fantasies with her.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes. “And how do you know about Raven’s fantasies?”

“Let’s just say that Monty and Jasper’s first batch of moonshine had a tiny side effect.”

“And what was that?” Lexa asked curiously.

“It gave everyone diarrhea of the mouth. It was shortly after we came down in the dropship. Everyone was drunk and sharing their secrets and desires.” Clarke laughed at the memory. “I was on watch that day, and I didn’t drink any, so my secrets were safe. I doubt Raven, or anyone else, remembers what they said that night,” Clarke gave Lexa a wicked smile, “but I remember it all.”

Lexa gave a weak laugh. “You will have to tell me that fantasy someday, better yet, I would love to hear yours.”

“I didn’t really have any fantasies.” Clarke kept her eyes downcast. “I didn’t know enough about anything to have fantasies, but I did have dreams and hopes.” She grabbed Lexa’s hand. “You made every one of them come true.”

Lexa stopped Clarke to give her a kiss. “You may not believe it, but you did the same for me. I had always dreamed of having a mate, but before Skaikru fell, I believed I would spend my life alone. That you are in my life is more than I ever dared to dream about.”

They walked in silence for a while, leading Lexa’s horse as they continued to follow Ontari’s trail.

“I should change back.” Clarke stated abruptly. “I will be able to follow her trail better that way.”

Lexa stopped her and viridian eyes pierced her. “I…let’s follow it this way for a while. I…I…”

Clarke could feel the waves of sadness rolling off her mate. Lexa was trying to hide it, but the death of Titus was affecting her more than she was letting on, and Clarke couldn’t blame her. Titus had been a part of Lexa’s life since she was a pup. It was only recently that their viewpoints had diverged, and they had started to clash. Until that time, they’d had a close familial relationship.

The omega didn’t say anything. Instead she sidled up next to her mate and rested her head on her shoulder as they walked while trying to soothe her with comforting pheromones. It seemed to help, at least until they crested a hill and saw dark storm clouds speeding in from the west.

Clarke had never seen such dark clouds before. It made her shiver. “How long do we have before the storm gets here?”

Lexa didn’t answer immediately. She was busy trying to control her suddenly nervous horse. “If his behavior is anything to go by, not long. We need to find shelter now.”

“Let me see what I can find. Stay here.” With a sudden flash of skin, fur, and teeth, Clarke was gone. Lexa didn’t have time to protest.

She pulled her horse in close, patting his flank and trying to calm him down. “Shh. Ste yuj (stay strong), Horus. Clarke will be back soon. She will find us a place to weather the storm.”

Lexa was getting nervous. The wind was beginning to howl through the trees, and the temperature had dropped precipitously. She was starting to worry for her mate but kept her emotions in check. She could feel that Clarke was not too far from them, and she didn’t sense any distress. Her omega was getting close.

A few minutes later, Clarke reappeared. She didn’t bother shifting back. She simply bolted up to where she had left Lexa standing and tipped her head, indicating that Lexa should follow her.

They didn’t have too far to travel, but the path wasn’t an easy one. They had to crest three hills and navigate around an ancient fallen tree. Clarke then led Lexa and her horse down a narrow pass that opened up into a wide but shallow cave. It wasn’t the best place to ride out the storm, but it was the only suitable place the omega could find in the time they had.

She shifted back and frantically began speaking. “We don’t have much time. I’ll try and hunt us some food if you can find some wood to make a fire, and then if there is time, hopefully we can find something to block the entrance. Otherwise the wind and snow are going to get in.”

Lexa nodded once, impressed at how her omega was taking command of the situation. Clarke was gone again in an instant; her graceful form loping away into the forest. Wasting no time, Lexa secured Horus and raced around the immediate area picking up sticks, leaves, and anything else flammable. They were going to need a sizable pile of kindling to make it through the storm without freezing to death.

The alpha carried load after load of wood into the cave and thanked keyron (the spirit) that there was enough detritus on the forest floor to supply their needs. She even found a few patches of long, dried grass for her horse to eat.

Just as she was finishing starting the fire, her pakstoka came in carrying a large buck in her jaws. Clarke dropped the deer at her feet then went back to the entrance of the cave. Already the wind was whipping, and the risk of their fire guttering out was great. 

Lexa tried to pile her logs, sticks, and branches around the fire in order to protect it, but she was having a hard time keeping it going. She was on her knees, blowing on the embers, trying to get the flames to catch on some leaves when an earth wrenching noise filled the air. She launched to her feet and ran to the front of the cave. Clarke was standing on her hind legs, shoving at a large, half-dead oak tree.

“Clarke,” Lexa yelled, bracing herself against the wind. “What are you doing?”

The omega ignored her and desperately pushed at the trunk of the tree, hitting it with her front paws repeatedly until the weak root system started to loosen from the ground. She pushed a few more times, and then quickly ran under the tree and into the cave, scooting Lexa along with her just as the massive tree fell to the ground, blocking the cave entrance.

Lexa stood in shock. The tree Clarke just felled…there was no way a human would ever have been able to do it, and it never crossed her mind to have her mate try in wolf form. The tree was so big, and seemingly well rooted, but somehow Wanheda knew she could use it to help protect them. The strength her mate possessed was nothing to be trifled with. Already there was considerably less wind and cold in the cave.

Once she was able to move again, she ran back to the fire that had almost gone out. She brought it back to life, calmed her horse again, then hugged a newly shifted Clarke to her.

“What you just did probably saved all of our lives. Thank you, Klark.”

“We aren’t dying out here, Lex. Not if I can help it.”

Lexa set about skinning the deer while Clarke removed her armor and changed into clothes stored in the saddle bag. Fortunately, there were dried apples they could give Horus, and several biscuits and hard cheese that they could add to the venison they cooked over the fire.

When Lexa was done preparing the buck, she moved the guts as far from them as she could. There was no other way to dispose of them now and putting them in the fire would cause too much smoke to form. The alpha figured they would freeze near the entrance and not cause any problems for them later on. They didn’t need to worry about any other animals getting to them. The tree effectively blocked the entrance, and by now, hopefully all the woodland creatures were hunkering down, safely sheltered from the storm.

The wind whistled and whipped as they ate their food. The cave was still cold despite the fire, but without the tree blocking the opening to the cave, they would be much more uncomfortable than they were. They would also have been at risk for frostbite and possibly death.

With nothing else to do, Lexa and Clarke put down the blanket from under the horse’s saddle to lie upon. They covered themselves the best they could with the clothes they had. Prior to this, Lexa threw several large logs on the fire and hoped it wouldn’t go out after they fell asleep.

It wasn’t long before Lexa, who was cradling Clarke from behind started to shiver. Clarke was cold too, but she was not nearly as bad off as her houmon. She moved out of Lexa’s embrace and stood. She removed all her clothes and threw them to her alpha to put on, and then she shifted back into her wolf form. She shuffled Lexa closer to the fire and wrapped her sizeable body around the shivering alpha, essentially acting as a fur coat for her mate. It helped that Clarke’s excess body heat acted as a furnace for Lexa. The alpha was warm within minutes.

After that they were both able to fall asleep, comfortable and warm, as the storm raged outside their little cave drifting snow up against the tree that served as their only protection from the elements.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That snow storm came of out nowhere for me just as much as it did Lexa and Clarke. It's funny how things insert themselves into your plans as you write, especially because I was thinking spring was coming then boom. Here comes a storm to prove that thought false..


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this one. It's still so hot here that writing about winter storms has given me an odd sense relief. It has been years since I have seen snow. That needs to change.

Chapter 27

Lexa woke with a feeling of relief. She had roused several times during the night to hear the wind howling outside. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t slightly frightened by the power of the storm, but she also knew she was blessed to have her amazing, intuitive, caring, and strong mate wrapped around her to help her make it through the storm without freezing to death. A lesser alpha might have been threatened by this, made to feel weak or diminished to have such a powerful omega at their side, but not Lexa. She knew her mate only made her stronger, and she also knew that while her mate may have moments where she was tougher, more formidable, and had better senses than her, she would go to the ends of the earth for her omega, even if it meant destroying the Coalition to do so.

She would burn the world if it meant protecting Clarke. It was one reason she knew she had to reject the offer of her own wolf form. Lexa was a powerful alpha; the most powerful, and if she were able to turn, just as Clarke was, she knew her protectiveness would increase tenfold. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to tolerate anyone being near her mate, even Anya. It would have been disastrous to accept the wolf.

She shook her head of those thoughts. The fire was barely going, and she needed to add more fuel to it. Standing up, she went over to Horus, gently caressing his face and offering him a dried apple; glad that he had made it through the long, harrowing hours of the storm.

Clarke, on the other hand, slept on, and Lexa didn’t disturb her. She got the fire roaring back to life and went to assess the situation. It wasn’t good. When she got to the entrance of the cave, no light was shining through. She had no idea what time it was or how many hours they had been trapped. That wasn’t what was alarming, however. What was alarming was that she couldn’t see even the faintest of light through the cracks left by the tree covering the opening. The snow had filled in every crevice.

The alpha pushed her hand into an area that she remembered hadn’t been covered by the tree when it fell. The opening had been small. As she thrust her hand into the snow that had packed there, she was alarmed to find that she was able to bury her entire arm in the cold, white stuff without it breaching the air outside the cave. They were snowed in, and with the tree in the way and tons of snow weighing it down, she didn’t know how they were going to get out. 

Remaining calm, Lexa tested the depth of the snow in a few other areas with the same result. The tree was encased in at least a few feet of snow. The snow had either fallen that way, or worse, the wind had drifted the snowfall against the tree. That would mean the snow might be thicker than Lexa thought.

“Jok.” No one knew where they were, and it could take more than a few hours to dig out. In the meantime, they were so well encased by the tree and snow that Lexa worried they might run out of air.

It was time to wake Clarke. 

With the fire roaring and more of the deer meat roasting, Lexa knelt down and softly stroked the fur near Clarke’s ears and eyes. “Hodnes,” she whispered. “It’s time to wake up.”

The omega started to purr but didn’t stir. “Niron,” Lexa tried again, a little louder. “We are snowed in. It’s time to get up. We need to dig ourselves out.”

This got Clarke’s attention, and she sprang to her feet in alarm. Wild golden eyes looked the alpha over to make sure she was alright (she also used her nose to confirm it). Only then did she look over to the cave entrance.

She stalked over to it and whimpered. She pawed at the snow on the ground, then started digging at it frantically, completely panicked. 

“Clarke, stop. If you keep digging at it that way there will be a cave in.”

Clarke halted, paw halfway in the snow. She whined, and Lexa could see that she looked afraid. The alpha put a gentle hand on her paw and kissed the top of it. She could only imagine how Clarke felt about being trapped in a place like the cave. It probably made her think of the time she was stuck in solitary confinement. Lexa wanted to rage at what had been done to her omega, but she kept her emotions in check for the sake of the woman who was standing in front of her, afraid now.

“Come back by the fire and eat.” Lexa stroked behind Clarke’s ear. “After we have had our fill, we will figure out how to dig out safely.”

Clarke slid her eyes back to the snow-covered entryway. She whined once more before walking over to the fire. She shifted back and threw herself into Lexa’s arms. “What if we can’t get out?”

“We will get out, ai niron. We just have to do it carefully.”

“I know.” Clarke rubbed her nose against Lexa’s neck. “I know you will get us out of here.”

“Not me, ai tombom (my heart), we.” Lexa gave Clarke a reassuring smile, looking more confident than she felt. If she knew how deep the snow was that was blocking them in, she would feel better; she would know what they were facing. 

After making sure Clarke was properly clothed, Lexa pulled the cooking meat off the fire. She blew on it to cool it off and gave Clarke the best, most tender pieces. 

“Mochof, my stalwart alpha. We will get out of this together,” Clarke said, trying to put on a good show for her alpha and hide her fears.

They both ate an inordinate amount of venison, with Clarke eating nearly twice as much as Lexa. She argued that she didn’t want it to go waste. They gave Horus the rest of the dried fruit from the saddlebag and used some of the snow Clarke had clawed away earlier to cover up the stinky present he left on the ground for them. The smell alone was enough to get the mates moving. 

They approached the wall of snow with a critical eye. Lexa scanned every inch of it and decided they needed to start at the top except that was nearly twelve feet up.

She considered having Clarke sit on her shoulders, and she could lift her, but they still wouldn’t be high enough. Clarke’s wolf form, if she were to stand on her hind legs would get them close, but she would have to brace herself on the slippery wall of the cave with one front leg while using one paw to scrape at the icy layer of snow. 

Clarke, of course, had immediately offered to do this, but Lexa was hesitant. In the end, they used Horus, but not after an argument from the omega.

“You don’t need to stand on his back, you can stand on mine to reach the top,” Clarke had argued, but Lexa adamantly refused to stand on her houmon’s back fearing that she would be too heavy to stand on her. Sitting was one thing but standing would create too much pressure on Clarke’s spine. 

“Lex, I will be fine.”

“I won’t risk it. What if I slip? I won’t jeopardize your safety.”

Clarke huffed. “Fine, stand on Horus, but you aren’t doing all the work. We will trade out every twenty minutes so that neither of us get too tired.”

Lexa smiled at Clarke. “That is acceptable.”

It turned out to be harder work than either of them anticipated. Lexa stood on Horus’s back with him facing the interior of the cave so he wouldn’t get a face full of snow every time Lexa shoveled some away with her hands. Clarke needed to be at her side to steady the horse even though he stood still for the most part. Every few minutes they had to pause for Clarke to move the growing pile of white stuff to a different part of the cave. It wouldn’t do for them to clear the top of the cave only for the bottom of it to fill up.

After the first twenty minutes, both women were sweating. 

“This sucks,” Clarke said for the eighth time. She had just finished moving another pile of snow and it was her turn to climb onto the ever-patient Horus. 

“It does, niron, but we have no other choice.” Lexa climbed down from her steed and helped Clarke take her place.

They changed places four times before it felt like they had made any progress; still no light shone through. 

“I think it is safe to move lower now,” Lexa observed. The snow removal went more quickly after that because Clarke was able to change forms and dig more swiftly and effectively. It also appeared that she was having fun.

Lexa watched from her side of the cave as Wanheda dug with vigor, amused at her antics when the wolf flipped a paw full of snow at her. At least the activity seemed to have lessened her mate’s fear. 

It was at least two hours before some light finally crept in from the other side, and they both sat back to rest, celebrating their small victory. They still had a lot of digging to do, but at least they knew how much was left.

“Geesh, how much did it snow?” Clarke wondered as she tried to look through the hole they had created.

“More than we have seen in many seasons,” Lexa figured. For the snow to have drifted as much as it had against Clarke’s fallen tree, there must have been several feet of it on the ground. 

Another two hours and they had a hole big enough for them to crawl out from, but that meant leaving Horus in the cave alone, and that wasn’t acceptable. Lexa squirmed her way out to assess the situation from the other side.

The terrain before her was completely changed. Her assessment had been correct. There were nearly four feet of snow on the ground, and looking west, it looked like it was threatening to snow some more.

Clarke, who was supposed to stay inside, crawled out behind her. 

“Holy shit.” She spun in all directions in the waist-deep now. “There’s no way we can travel through this.”

“I don’t know if we have a choice, ai strik pakstoka (my little wolf).”

Clarke let out an unexpected chuckle. “You know, strik pakstoka is kind of a silly nickname since I am pretty damn big in my wolf form.”

The absurdity of her words tickled Lexa’s funny bone and she laughed. She appreciated her mate trying to make light of a difficult situation.

“Is bigas (large) pakstoka better?”

“Big ass pakstoka. Now that is a nickname I can get behind.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Bigas, not big ass.”

“That’s what I said.” Now Lexa knew Clarke was making fun of her. “I’m teasing. I like strik pakstoka, but you can call me a big ass, badass pakstoka from time to time too.” 

Clarke walked over and hugged her wife, and noticed she was shivering. It was still too cold to be out for long, at least for the alpha. Clarke, while chilled, wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable. They hadn’t prepared to be stuck outside overnight.

“Let me change and see if I can figure something better out for us,” Clarke offered.

“Clarke, I don’t know if that is a wise decision.” Lexa was nervous for her wife to wander on her own.

“Lexa, I survived the lands for three months on my own. I can do this, and I promise to only be gone for a few minutes. Half hour tops.”

“Okay, but please be careful.”

Clarke drew her wife in close. “Go back inside and build up the fire. Get warm. You are freezing.”

“I am fine, Klark.”

“And I want you to stay that way, so go get warm, and maybe prepare some more meat. While I am out there, I will see if I can find anything else. That buck was large, but it won’t last forever.”

“Not with the way you are eating, bigas pakstoka.” Lexa winked.

Clarke chortled. “Go inside. I’ll be back soon.”

Clarke wasn’t back soon, and Lexa was getting nervous. Pacing the floor, she worried about her mate. The omega had been gone for over an hour, and it had started to snow again. It wasn’t falling hard, for now, but it was getting colder. She was contemplating leaving the cave to try and find her omega, but suddenly she heard a noise outside the cave.

She ran to the opening, and the wolf was outside. At her feet were two smallish boars. It appeared that her mate also dragged more kindling toward the cave.

“Klark, you worried me.” She crawled through the opening and wrapped her arms around Clarke’s neck.

The omega was forced to change back. The opening they had made was too small for her to fit into in her wolf form, and they had decided not to make it bigger if they were going to be staying in the cave for a while. They didn’t want an opening that would allow too much cold air in. They had found that the snow along with the fallen tree made a good insulator. The temperature outside was many degrees colder than in their temporary home.

Together, they slid the two boars and extra kindling into the cave. Lexa immediately began to dress Clarke’s kills while the omega went back outside to try and find something, anything, for Horus to eat. It wasn’t easy. She had to use her nose to scent out some grass and vegetation buried under the snow, dig it out, and drag it back for the horse. It would have been easy to let the horse wait a day or two to eat. It probably would have been fine, but both women would have felt guilty eating while the horse starved. As it was, it wasn’t enough food to properly feed him, but it was enough to keep him going at least for a while.

While digging, Clarke also found a bowl-shaped stone. It would be good for melting snow so that they had something to drink. The hot water would also help to keep Lexa warm.

After they had resettled in the cave, Lexa asked, “Was it hard to move around out there just now?”

“Sort of, but it wasn’t too bad. I think by tomorrow, if things haven’t improved you may need to ride on my back, and once we get to civilization again, we can send some gona to come back for Horus.”

“That was my thought as well. How did you find the boars?”

Clarke gave her a sad look. “They were trapped in an icy ravine and couldn’t get out. They were almost completely buried in snow, and it was clear they were near death. I helped move along the process. They didn’t even fight me.”

They spent the remainder of the day in safety of their cave. More snow fell, but it was only a few inches. With nothing to do, they talked, napped, and made love.

Clarke had just woken from a nap after thoroughly ravishing her wife. Lexa was sitting by the fire, poking it with a stick and melting snow for more water. The omega was pleased to see that her mate was still flushed from their earlier activities.

“Tell me,” Clarke began, voice hoarse from the fun they had been having just a little while ago, “you didn’t seem upset that Nia was hiding Ontari from you. I thought all natblidas were supposed to come to Polis when they are discovered.”

Lexa frowned. “They are, and we care for them just as we would if they were our own pups. It is an honor to have a natblida in the family, and those families are taken care of since Polis claims their natblida pups.”

Lexa poked her stick into the fire. “I may not have shown it, especially in front of Nia, and since then because there has been no time, but I am hugely upset to learn that Nia has been hiding Ontari from us. She should have been under our care. We could have given her the tools to succeed and be happy, and to potentially be the next Commander one day, but now, according to what Nia has said, she’s a trained assassin with one goal.”

Clarke growled. “To kill you.”

Lexa sighed and waved her stick back and forth because the end of it had started on fire. “Now her life will be forfeit if she tries to kill either you or me.” Lexa gazed into the flames. “It makes me unbearably sad to know that she has been mistreated and brainwashed.” Misty green eyes looked at Clarke. “The omegas on the Ark, and in Azgeda, have been treated terribly; none worse than you. My heart will always ache knowing what has been done to you, and now it aches a little more knowing that another omega, a nightblood at that, has also been mistreated.”

A look of resolve came over Heda’s face. “But, you and I are going to change this world, and in the future, everyone will be treated fairly, especially the omegas.” She threw her stick in the fire. “People forget that without you, the omegas, there is no us. Omegas bring life into this world. There is nothing more sacred or important than that, but people forget, and they see omegas as weak because they can be dominated. It really isn’t fair.” She moved so that she could rest her forehead against Clarke’s.

“Biology should not dictate who comes out on top of things. Physical strength and dominance do not equate superiority, but sadly, most people think it does.”

Clarke reached forward and grabbed Lexa’s hands. “Hey, you have been doing everything you can to help everyone, especially omegas, since you became Commander.”

“I need to do more,” Lexa stated emphatically.

“We need to do more, and we will. Let’s get past these next few days with the snow and Ontari. Then we can deal with Nia and Jaha. Until those things are taken care of, there is nothing more we can do.” Clarke thought about it for a minute. “Actually, taking care of those things will go a long way toward helping the people, especially the omegas.”

“You are right, niron. You are always right.” Lexa took a sip of the warm water and handed the rest to Clarke. “Just replacing Nia with Roan will go a long way toward helping the people of the Coalition.” 

“I am eager to meet this man.” Clarke had never met the bounty hunter before.

“He’s an interesting character. Handsome and suave. He’s a beta, but he has the ferocity of an alpha and the heart of an omega. There is no one better suited to lead Azgeda. He is exactly who they need.”

“A beta child. I bet Nia hated that.”

Lexa chuckled. “That she did.” The alpha yawned and Clarke looked out the opening of the cave. It was still snowing and getting dark.

“Don’t get tired yet, ai alpha, I was only getting started with you earlier. I want to make you scream until your voice is as hoarse as mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all of you. Writing for many has been extremely difficult during this terribly trying year. I have been fortunate not to have lost my muse. That you have all stuck around, and that you continue to support this story means everything. I deeply appreciate it. 
> 
> For the other authors that you love, continue to support them even if they don't update as regularly as they used to. Know that most of them probably desperately want to get back to their story writing and just can't.
> 
> And, if you feel like it, check out my other stories. I have several others and they are all complete. Personally, fanfic is my way to get away from the reality that we live it, and I will forever be grateful to sites like AO3 for giving us a way to escape, even if it is only for a little while.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit, I completely forgot to post this yesterday. In my defense an amazing author of an amazing story posted a 30k + chapter of their story that I got lost in. We've all done that, right?
> 
> It helped get me back into reading. I realize that life has gotten a little distracting (maybe stressful is a better word), and when that happens I pull away from reading (thank goodness it's always only a short phase because reading is life). I am sooo far behind and plan to play some serious catchup with all the stories I have missed the past week or so.

Chapter 28

The next day brought blue skies and abundant sunshine, but it also brought piercing, bitter cold. It was colder than it had been all season, and Clarke woke to find a shivering alpha stoking the fire. So much for the promises of spring, Clarke thought.

She had slept in wolf form again so that she could wrap herself around her non-furred mate and do her best to keep Lexa warm. She hoped the alpha didn’t resent the fact that she was the one protecting her. She knew it was deeply ingrained in alphas, even Lexa, to be the protector, not the protected, and that many alphas would bristle at and even reject an offer of protection, even to their own detriment. Of course, Lexa hadn’t shown any signs of resentment, but Clarke still wondered. She would have to ask Lexa about it after they got out of this mess. She shook her head. No, she wouldn’t. Lexa had proven time and again that she wasn’t the typical alpha that the omega was used to. If Lexa resented Clarke’s protection, she would have said something. If anything, Lexa was proud of her. She had shown the blonde that in so many different ways.

Clarke stood up on her four paws and went to plunk her muzzle on Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa, always alert, was not surprised to feel the omega standing behind her and reached over to offer the great wolf a large piece of boar which Clarke took appreciatively. There was still some meat from the deer, but they had been drying that out, along with the meat from the other hog in order to travel with it. They didn’t know how long they would be stuck in the snow once they left the cave, and decided they needed to be as prepared as possible.

After Clarke gulped down her food, she padded in front of Lexa and tilted her head toward the door. She was going to go outside and check out the situation.

When she got back to the cave, she silently shifted and put on her armor. Lexa looked up from where she was trying to help her horse drink some melted snow.

“What’s it like out there?” Lexa wondered.

“It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it. Everything is iced over, even the branches on the trees, making them look like they are made from glass.”

Lexa sighed. This was bad. “It may be pretty, but it’s not good. It means our path will be slippery and dangerous, and it will mean we will be forced to try and walk on the snow without breaking through the frozen crust on top of it.” 

She gave Horus the last of the food Clarke had been able to collect for him. “It also makes traveling under the trees dangerous. The ice makes the branches heavy and brittle. Even a slight wind can send them crashing to the ground, turning them into deadly projectiles.”

“So, what your saying is we are damned if we stay in the cave, and we are damned if we leave? Great.”

Lexa was not keen to leave the shelter of the cave, but they could not stay put any longer. It would not be safe to remain in place. They needed to try and make it to TonDC, which was closer at this point than Polis.

They gathered the few provisions they had and put them in the saddlebags. In the end, they decided to continue their trek with Horus at their side. He was Lexa’s prized stallion and had served her well in times of peace and strife, so she felt she owed it to him to try and bring him to safety.

It wasn’t easy going, but together they were finally able to dig a hole big enough to get all of them out without causing a cave-in. Clarke and Lexa had to break several branches off the tree blocking the entrance in order to make a space big enough to get Horus through. Clarke was only able to get in and out in her wolf form because she was able to crawl on her belly. Horus didn’t have that luxury. The horse wasn’t happy about navigating through such a small space, but eventually Lexa was able to coax him out. He only had to duck his head a little bit.

She had cooed at and coddled the animal, and eventually the horse stepped out of the cave, and up the embankment of snow that had collected just outside it. He neighed and stomped his front leg, showing his disgust at his new situation. 

The alpha looked around. Clarke was right when she had said it was beautiful. The snow and ice were gleaming in the sunlight, and everything had a shine to it. Their path, if they could find one, would be treacherous, especially for Horus. One slip, and he could break a leg.

She turned them in the direction they needed to move. “Clarke, I think it would be best to travel on two feet for now instead of four, at least for now. I need to get a feel for what’s ahead of us.”

Clarke was happy to defer all decision making to her mate. She had never experienced such deep or slippery snow before, and with everything covered in gleaming white, she had no idea which direction to go. If she were in charge, they would have been lost in no time. She hoped that one day soon her sense of direction would improve. It wasn’t bad in familiar surroundings, but she was hopeless when they weren’t.

As it was, they had only traveled maybe a mile and a half over the course of the first hour of their journey. Every step Horus took sent his leg through the ice and snow, causing the animal to have to high step just to clear his path. It wasn’t much easier for the two mates. They were able to walk without breaking through most of the time, but there had been a few times when either Clarke or Lexa had stepped through the ice into the deep snow causing the other to have to dig them out. 

Both women were sweating with the effort, and Horus was already working up a lather. Lexa was beginning to wonder if leaving their shelter had been such a good idea. She went to take another step when she was assailed with a vision, or maybe it was a memory, of what could only have been one of her past selves. The person was dragging a horse that looked almost identical to Horus, through deep snow. There was a caravan of people behind them, all from ancient Egypt, traveling with goods for trade with the Phoenicians. The mountains there were like none the person had ever experienced before, and it was the first time they had ever encountered snow. It was the first time any of the people with her had seen it. Snow was not something they were accustomed to in Egypt, but with the person’s leadership, with her leadership she guessed, she got her people safely within the confines of Phoenicia. 

Lexa shook her head. Clarke was yelling at her to snap out of it. She wondered what would have taken her people back then into the mountains when most of Phoenicia was on the coast of what is now Lebanon. Blinking, she wondered how she knew that.

“Lexa, are you okay?” Clarke was looking concerned.

“I…I am, niron. I think I just had a memory from long ago, of a time when one of my former selves experienced something similar to what we are going through now. They were facing snow and travel just like this.” It was hard to explain. “I think it is a sign that we will be alright as long as we keep moving forward.”

“Did your former self give you any tips on how to make this easier?” Clarke asked sarcastically. She was already over the day, and it had only just started.

Lexa huffed. “No, they did not.”

“Well next time, ask them before they disappear.” This time Clarke was teasing, and she nudged Lexa’s shoulder. It wasn’t fair to take out her annoyance of their circumstances out on the alpha. “I think now might be a good time to see if I can travel on four feet instead of two. To me, it seems that a wolf can navigate more easily through this kind of stuff than a human or a horse.”

Lexa thought about it. “It can’t hurt to try, but please don’t get too far ahead of us.” There was a hint of worry in her voice.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I promise.” Clarke leaned forward and gave Lexa a quick kiss before shifting forms. She dipped her head so that Lexa could put her helmet on her head. 

Lexa fussed over the wolf making sure her armor was straight and her helmet on correctly. When Clarke stepped back, Lexa grinned. Her omega was resplendent in her armor and protective helmet. It shimmered in sunlight, and the metal’s coppery tone enhancing her pure white fur. 

Clarke chuckled, feeling the pride her wife had for her. Even Horus seemed to appreciate her.

“Stay within sight, at tombom (my heart). If you sink into the snow, I need to be able to find you.”

Clarke dipped her head in acknowledgement and started off in front of Lexa and the horse but tried to stay only a few feet ahead. 

The omega was correct in her thinking. Walking on icy snow was much easier now. Her large paws evenly distributed her weight. They kept her from breaking through and sinking into the snow, while her claws gave her extra traction. After about ten minutes with complete success, she convinced Lexa to get on her back. She had to slow her pace, but their forward progress was much improved, and after another hour they had walked about three more miles. It was still slow going, but it was better, and it was the best they could do. Somehow, Horus was able to keep up. 

They took a break at the side of a frozen creek. Lexa was able to break through the ice to expose the water below. She lit a quick fire and heated the water in the bowl-shaped rock Clarke had found. The omega had grunted at this, wanting to drink directly from the creek, but Lexa reminded her that the water was too cold. It might not chill her, but it would not serve for Lexa to drink it that way. It would drop her core temperature and put her at risk of hypothermia.

There was no stopping the horse from drinking his fill of the gurgling water. The poor animal hadn’t had nearly enough to drink in the past few days. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to be affected by the cold water. 

Clarke silently admitted to herself that the warmed water was far more desirable than the chilly water in the creek. Lexa made her drink her fill before she warmed some for herself, and the omega showed her appreciation of her alpha’s thoughtfulness by surrounding her with her furry body and sharing her excessive body heat. 

After drinking, they munched on a few pieces of dried meat then started up again. They had travelled another few miles and found themselves in a large clearing, free of trees. Clarke had just lifted a paw to take her next step when she tilted her ears. Sniffing the air, the hair bristled on the nape of her neck. She let out a low growl, alerting Lexa to the fact that something was amiss.

She lowered her body to the ground and Lexa got off her just as an arrow zinged past their bodies. 

“Jok, Clarke get down.” Lexa screamed as she ducked for cover. Another arrow sped by, narrowly missing Lexa’s head.

The omega quickly shifted, trying to make a smaller target of herself. She pulled her now too big helmet off her head and moved to stand on the far side of Horus, attempting to grab her bow.

Lexa was ahead of her and already had the weapon in her hands. She nocked two arrows and set them loose at the same time. Clarke arched an eyebrow. She had never seen that done before and made a mental note to have Lexa show her how to do it if they survived this ordeal.

The result was one arrow hitting the trunk of a tree. The other hit its target. Clarke could smell the blood from where she stood, but the person Lexa hit didn’t make a sound. Whoever it was, Ontari or Quint she assumed, they were hiding in the tree line.

Lexa casually stood, bow in hand, and nocked another arrow. She waited patiently for her target to reveal themselves. What she should have anticipated, but didn’t, was being shot at from behind. It was only instinct that had her ducking just in time to avoid a hit in her left shoulder. 

The alpha roared. Another arrow sped toward them. It was heading directly at Clarke, but the alpha was already in motion. Just before the arrow could pierce her omega’s skin, Lexa shot her hand out and caught the projectile, strung it onto her own bow and shot it back at the assailant.

Ontari stuck her head out from behind a tree and laughed. “Almost got your pretty puppy. Too bad I missed,” she said and then she was off like a flash. Speeding between the trees with her bow resting on her back. 

At first, Heda couldn’t understand how the Ice omega was moving so fast. It took her a minute to realize that the dark-haired woman had a long, narrow piece of wood strapped to each foot. She was using two long poles to guide her along and help her gain speed.

Lexa blinked at the sight. Never had she seen such devices. Whatever they were, she was no match for them. There was no way she would catch the omega now. She turned back toward Clarke just as another arrow was flying at her. She was too far away to catch this one, but Clarke, who had been watching Ontari’s get away turned her head just in time. The arrow caught the tip of her ear, nicking it and causing her to yelp, but nothing serious was harmed.

Clarke was holding her ear when Lexa got to her. They were both hiding behind Horus now. 

“Let me see, niron.” Lexa pulled at Clarke’s arm.

The omega removed her hand to reveal the injury to her right ear. The tip of it had a chunk out of it, but it was nothing serious, and was only bleeding minimally. Lexa let out a sigh of relief.

“What do we do now?” Clarke panted. They were wide open with two enemies shooting at them from different directions. “And what the hell was Ontari wearing on her feet? Were those skis?”

Lexa didn’t get to answer. Quint had made his move. He was also wearing what her omega had called skis. He was moving in the opposite direction from Ontari. The alpha could see blood dripping from his arm from where she had grazed him with her arrow.

“Hey mutt,” he yelled. “You are going to pay for burning my brother.” He stopped long enough to let loose another arrow. It was sloppily shot and missed, and the man almost lost his balance. He wasn’t as proficient on the skis as Ontari was.

Lexa, normally calm in battle, was growing angry. She had a trained, brainwashed omega shooting at her, while one of her own gona was shooting at her mate. She would not stand for this. 

Still using Horus for cover, Lexa said, “I need you to change back into your wolf, and then you are going to carry us toward the cave as fast as you can.”

Clarke shook her head. “If we do that, we will be trapped, and we can’t leave Horus behind.”

Lexa almost smiled at her houmon’s (wife’s) concern for the horse. “He will be fine, but we need to lead them out of this clearing. They have the advantage of being on their wooden transporters, but we will be going back over the path we have already set. We know where we are going, and I know you are faster than them. When we get to the cave, I am going to hide in the branches of the tree you felled while you go back into the cave. Cover the opening with as much snow as you can and stay inside until I say to come out.”

“Oh hell no. I am not hiding while you fight a crazed assassin and a disloyal soldier.”

This time Lexa did smile. “You didn’t let me finish, niron. I will be hidden within the branches, but they will assume I am inside hiding with you.”

“So.”

“Remember what I said about the ice coating the branches?” Lexa asked.

“It makes them heavy and brittle.” Clarke responded automatically.

“Exactly. As soon as one or both of them is near enough, I will send those heavy, brittle branches down on their heads.”

Clarke was shaking her head again. “No. The tree is covered with ice. What if you can’t get up there? What if you slip and get hurt?”

“Gustus doesn’t call me his strik triklama (little squirrel) for nothing. He didn’t tell you that I took being Trikru to heart. I am the best tree climber in this clan and probably the Coalition.”

“Fine,” Clarke said, “it could work, but what if only one of them comes?”

“That’s where you come in. I don’t intend for you to hide inside the cave. You will be waiting, and when I give the signal, I want you to vault through the snow and tackle whoever is on the other side. Doesn’t matter if it is Ontari or Quint. They are no match for Wanheda. Subdue them and drag them into the cave. I will wait in the tree for the other to arrive, and when they do, they will meet death under the branches of the tree you took down to save our lives. Not only will it have served to protect us in the cave, it will protect us from those who wish to do us harm.”

“This plan of yours is hinging on an awful lot.” Clarke grumped. A thousand different things could go wrong.

“If you have a better one, I am all ears.” The alpha didn’t say it harshly. She was open to any ideas Clarke might have.

As if reminded of her injury, Clarke put her hand back up to her ear and sighed. She was getting really sick of being shot at and injured by arrows.

“Fine, let’s go.”

Clarke was in her furred form and running toward the cave the second Lexa was securely on her back. She ran as fast as she could on the icy snow, thankful that they had already established a path. On top of her, Lexa was using her bow to keep their enemy at bay.

Feeling as if the two people chasing them were getting closer, Clarke sped up. This time the miles flew by. Not being hindered by the horse or the worry of falling through the snow, the wolf was able to run without thought. She kept her eyes forward, trusting Lexa to keep her eyes on the two people chasing them.

Mercifully, they reached the cave well ahead of their pursuers. 

Lexa scurried off Clarke’s back. With her speed and natural ability as a wolf, the omega had been able to outrun Ontari and Quint.

“Get in the cave now, Clarke. Every second counts. We have no idea how far behind us they might be.” Lexa said this as she was about to climb into the branches of the tree and hide herself. A paw stopped her, and the alpha could feel the fear radiating off her mate.

“I will be okay, niron. You have to trust me.” Lexa reached out to stroke the fur on Clarke’s cheek. “I know you have never really seen me in action, but you know that I am Heda for a reason. I fought and won the Conclave even though all thought I was the underdog. I am meant to protect my people, and I am meant to protect you. We will both be getting back to TonDc and then Polis. I promise you.”

Golden eyes flitted back and forth over Lexa’s face until they closed for a few seconds. When they opened again, Wanheda nodded her head. She flicked out her tongue, catching Lexa on the chin then ducked into the cave. The alpha could hear her mate’s giant paws scraping at the snow piled on the side of the cave, pushing it forward to cover the entrance.

She was already well hidden within the confines of the branches when Quint approached. Lexa tried to survey from her spot, but Ontari was nowhere to be seen, and she wondered how Quint and the omega had found them in the first place. It wasn’t exactly easy to find two people after a blizzard, but then Lexa rolled her eyes at herself. Of course, Ontari could find them. She hailed from the land of ice and snow. The people of Azgeda spent almost eight months of each year dealing with it. Lexa had been stupid to think that Ontari wouldn’t be proficient tracking them after a whiteout.

Come closer, natrona (traitor), she thought. The man wasn’t near enough. She watched as he took in his surroundings. The fool never once looked up and Lexa wanted to growl. All Trikru, even the goufas (children) were trained to look up. Failing to do so in Trikru lands could mean certain death. Not only did enemies hide in the canopies of trees, so too did animals like mountain lions and panthers.

“Come out fecha (dog). I’ve got a bone for you.” He lifted his bow and took a step forward, intending to shoot through the snow that once again covered the entrance to the cave. He had abandoned his skis a few feet back, and Lexa took a good look at them. They looked hastily made, but she couldn’t deny their effectiveness. They had allowed the man to catch up to them mere minutes after their own arrival. It made her nervous that Ontari wasn’t with him.

He moved forward again. With the bow ready to fire, Lexa was going to have to change the plan. She knew that Clarke was standing just on the other side of the snow, and if he fired, there was a good chance he would hit her. She could not take that chance, and she made her move. Grabbing onto the limb that was holding her up, she bounced up and down. Branches cracked under the disturbance and broke off, sending a cascade of heavy sticks raining down on the man below.

Taken off guard, he didn’t stand a chance. His only saving grace was that he had slipped just as let his arrow fly, and the melee of icy branches falling on him didn’t kill him, but he was severely injured, and he was trapped.

Lexa didn’t move from her perch. She called to Clarke and told her not to come out. She needed to find Ontari first.

She stayed put for a solid ten minutes before descending to the ground. After scouring the immediate area, it was clear that Ontari wasn’t even there. She called for Clarke to come out. She would be better able to detect if the Ice omega were truly gone. 

Clarke came bursting out of the snow, snarling and spitting made. The arrow that Quint had shot had hit its mark, and the tip of the omega’s right ear now sported a nick to match the left. Blood stained the fur of both ears now.

The omega charged over to the fallen man and was about to start dislodging the branches he was trapped under when Lexa stopped her.

“Niron, chil au daun (calm down),” Lexa said, trying to calm her angry mate. “He’s not going anywhere. Right now, I need you to use your senses. Make sure Ontari is nowhere nearby.”

Clarke growled and stamped a front paw. She looked to the whimpering man on the ground. She snarled and exposed her deadly teeth, causing him to cringe and yell out. He actually had the balls to ask for mercy.

She shot a paw out and hit a spiked branch that was sticking out of Quint’s thigh and he screamed. 

“Mercy from Wanheda will be your death if she decides to grant it, natrona,” Lexa said calmly. “She could just as easily leave you trapped and allow Mother Nature to take you. I am sure the animals of the forest would enjoy the fresh meat.”

Quint was weeping now, but the two ignored him. Wanheda lifted her head and scented the air. Tilting her bloodied ears, she listened intently for any sound to indicate that the other omega was in the area. One look told her everything she needed to know. Ontari wasn’t there.

She slid her glance to Lexa to let her know, then stepped in front of the fallen man. Shifting slowly, she let him hear every pop, and every break until she was herself again. He trembled in fear. She lifted a fallen fang from the ground, and briefly wondered how her body produced new teeth so quickly. She gave Lexa a knowing look and handed the Commander the razor-sharp tooth.

Deliberately Lexa leaned over Quint, making sure she had his full attention. She brandished the considerable fang in front of his face before lowering the tip to the skin. He screamed as she punctured it. She dragged the sharp tip over his cheek as he cried and thrashed, trying to get away from the pain. 

Heda took her time and glanced at Clarke who was admiring her work. When she was done, she dropped the fang at his side. “You have been branded a traitor and a deserter, and if somehow you survive and get out from your wooden cage, no one will aid you, in fact, anyone who sees you will instantly put a dagger through your heart.”

The man was gasping in agony under the branches. Several had pierced all the way through his body, and the main limb holding him down probably weighed hundreds of pounds. When Clarke had handed Lexa the tooth, it wasn’t to cause him death, but it was a death sentence. He would not survive the night.

Satisfied, the two walked into the cave to discuss their next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One down, one to go if we aren't counting Jaha and his minions.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am positing this with minutes to spare before the series finale of the 100 starts where I am. I am feeling terribly saddened that Clarke's story will be ending on the show tonight, but I am so very grateful that her story, along with Lexa's and the others will live on through fanfic. 
> 
> No matter how we all felt about what happened in this show, we cannot deny that it gave us two of the most iconic characters ever grace our television screens. We are all aware of why that is. The characters of Clarke and Lexa have radically changed many of our lives, and I will forever be thankful to Eliza Taylor and Alycia Debnam-Carey for bringing these two characters to life for us.

Chapter 29

After much deliberation, the two decided that they needed to head back the way they came. They needed to make it to TonDc as quickly as possible. Another night in the cave might mean their deaths especially since all their food had been left behind on Horus.

Lexa groaned from the top of Clarke’s back. They had already lost a lot of daylight.

When they had finally left the cave for the last time, Quint was already dead. Lexa stripped him of his weapons and of a satchel of food. She said no words at his passing. Natronas (traitors) didn’t deserve them.

Wanheda didn’t even look at the man. She had deemed him unworthy of being sent on. His soul was damned to wander aimlessly without purpose; tethered to this world without a body to call its own. Eventually it would wither and die and disappear into the aether. 

Clarke was traveling through the forest at a speed that surprised Lexa. After their ordeal with Ontari and Quint earlier in the day, the alpha was amazed that the omega had the energy to move so quickly. From atop the omega’s back, Lexa played sentry, keeping an eye out for Ontari, at the same time as guiding Clarke through the trees. With luck they would make it to TonDC only a few hours after nightfall.

Below her, Clarke was panting. She kept up her speed, but she was beginning to tire, and she wasn’t feeling very good, and while she knew that Lexa was keeping an eye out for Ontari, she couldn’t help but use her own senses to make sure they weren’t about to be ambushed. The energy expenditure from racing through the forest and keeping an eye out for the omega from Azgeda had her stomach feeling queasy, not to mention that her ears were burning from where they were injured. The pain was traveling down her skull and giving her a headache.

They traveled for hours before Clarke had to slow. Her head was beginning to dip as she ran. Finally, she had to come to a complete stop and rest. Her breathing was labored, and it took several minutes for her to catch her breath. She lowered herself down onto her belly so that Lexa could get off her, and it was a surprise to Lexa when she shifted back into herself.

“I don’t know if I can keep running, Lex,” she said tiredly. “I don’t feel too good.”

“I am sorry, niron, we shouldn’t have pushed to get so far. We should only be about an hour away from TonDC.” It had already been dark for about an hour. “We can walk from here.”

Lexa could see that Clarke’s face was flushed even in the dark, and she was sweating; not unexpected after running the way she had for so long, but still the alpha was concerned. She pulled some of the food out of the satchel they had taken from Quint and offered it to her mate, but the omega shook her head violently. 

“I think I will be sick if I try to eat. I just need some water,” Clarke complained.

Lexa had to start a fire to melt some snow. There was no water nearby. They took about thirty minutes to drink some water and rest, but then Lexa wanted to get on the move again. Clarke was more reluctant. While she sat, she had gotten stiff, and she wasn’t feeling any better.

Lexa could feel the omega’s discomfort. It was making her feel ill as well. She hated to do it, but she pulled Clarke to her feet. “We need to keep going Klark. We are almost there.”

Clarke stumbled to her feet. “I know.” Her world tilted and she lost her balance. “I really don’t feel very well. I think I am getting sick.”

Lexa caught her when she almost fell. “Hodnes,” she said with concern lacing her voice. “You are burning up.” She helped Clarke sit back down. She started rummaging through the satchel hoping to find something that might help her omega, but to no avail. She then upturned to quiver of arrows, knowing that some warriors hid stuff at the bottom of them. She gasped when a tiny vial rolled out. She picked it up, already dreading what it was. Looking at it by the light of the fire, her worst fears were confirmed. “Feisbona (wolfsbane/poison),” she whispered. “Jok (fuck).”

Quint must have tipped his arrows in the poison, and Clarke had been hit by two of them. Her injuries weren’t grievous enough for much poison to do serious damage to her system, but the omega was going to be sick for the next day or so. Fortunately, the activity and stress of running from their enemies, and then to TonDC, had probably helped to burn most of the poison out of her system faster than if they had stayed behind in the cave. Still, it meant she needed to get Clarke into the warmth of a shelter and fill her with healing teas as quickly as possible. A poultice would also need to be applied to each of her injuries to draw out any poison that might remain on the surface of her skin. 

“Klark, ai tombom, I am sorry to do this, but you have to get up and walk. The arrows that hit you were poisoned. That’s why you don’t feel good.”

Fevered blue eyes stared into the firelight. “Am…am I going to be okay?” Her voice was trembling with fatigue.

Lexa leaned in to kiss her fevered brow. “Yes, not enough poison entered your system to do permanent damage, but we still need to get you to a fisa (healer), otherwise you are going to feel bad for days.”

“Will it be better for me to travel this way or should I shift?” The omega asked, weariness coloring her voice.

“I don’t know,” Lexa answered honestly. She had no idea what would be better, but she did fear that changing forms yet again might be too taxing for her wife.

“Let’s try to walk for a while. If it gets too hard, you can shift, but I am afraid that changing forms might take more out of you than your body can give right now.”

“O-okay.” 

Lexa helped Clarke to her feet again, and they slowly walked toward TonDC and help. Each step found the omega leaning more heavily on the alpha, and with about half a mile to go, Lexa swept her mate into her arms. She was riddled with guilt. If Clarke hadn’t had to carry her, she probably wouldn’t be as tired as she was.

“Moba (sorry), Heda.” Clarke said formally. 

“Don’t be, and I am not your Heda. I am simply your mate.” She shifted Clarke’s weight in her arms. “You brought us this far. I will bring us the rest.”

It wasn’t long before the sentries stationed outside the town saw their Commander carrying her mate. Several warriors ran out to help, but Lexa refused to let anyone carry Clarke.

“Run ahead and make sure a fisa and a warm bed is ready for my mate and get the Wormana (war chief). I have things I need to discuss with her.”

She didn’t get much closer to TonDC before Gustus and Indra were running toward them. The bodyguard coaxed Lexa into letting him carry her sick houmon (wife/spouse) the rest of the way. 

Indra growled at the state of the omega. “Did that natrona (traitor) Quint do this to her?”

Lexa raised her eyebrows. She guessed the rollcalls of Polis, TonDC and the blockade told Indra what she already knew. “Yes, and he’s dead now.”

“Good,” Indra spat.

The War Chief moved to Clarke and pushed some sweaty blonde hair out of her eyes. “The fisa (healer) is waiting for you, strik pakstoka (little wolf).” The War Chief leaned in to sniff at Clarke’s ears. She always did have an extraordinary sense of smell for these kinds of things. If she hadn’t become the War Chief, she would have been a healer.

“There’s not enough poison to do lasting damage,” she said after assessing Clarke, “but you are going to feel like skrish (shit) for a day or two.”

Clarke, who was barely awake at this point, lifted her head off Gustus’s shoulder and grumbled. “If I get hit with one more arrow, I am making Heda ban them from the Coalition.”

Lexa chuckled. “There will be riots if I do, but I would do that for you, ai houmon.”

Lexa didn’t leave Clarke’s side as the fisa got the omega to drink three cups of tea steeped with healing herbs. The omega made faces at the taste, but she drank the foul brew. After that the healer tipped her ears with a brown paste made from oats, garlic, turmeric, and who knows what else. She grumbled at the intense smell and snarled once at the man before apologizing for her behavior.

He smiled. “Grouchiness is a good sign, Wanheda. It means there is not much poison in your system.” He patted her knee. “You will be fine in a few days.”

Clarke didn’t miss that he called her Wanheda. It appeared that the stories of her appearance had made their way across the land despite the terrible weather.

The fisa left Lexa with instructions for Clarke to drink one cup of tea each hour for the next three hours. “She’s not going to want it, but she’s going to need it. If you can, get her to eat something, anything. She has expended a huge amount of energy today, and if she doesn’t eat, she’s going to feel worse.” He pointed across the room. “The tea is in that pot, and there’s porridge with apples and cane sugar in the cauldron. I will also bring some broth in later. That, at least, should be appealing.”

After he was gone, Clarke, who was lying on a bed and covered with furs, moved uncomfortably. Her blue eyes popped open.

“Ugh, I feel like crap,” she said, “and I am so tired but don’t feel like I can sleep.”

Lexa who was sitting on the edge of the bed, stroked her hand over the omega’s head. “I know you won’t want it, but will you try the porridge…for me?”

Clarke turned green right before Lexa’s eyes. “Eww, no. I think I will puke.”

Lexa didn’t give up. “Just one bit, niron, and if it is that bad, you can wait for the broth.”

Clarke’s stomach flipped at the thought, but she gave in. Lexa filled a bowl with the mushy stuff. When she came back, she held the spoon for Clarke, and the omega reluctantly swallowed the bite. It was sweet, and the soft cooked apples in it weren’t bad. She allowed Lexa to give her a few more bites before shaking her head.

“I don’t want anymore.” She moved so that she was more comfortable. Lexa put the bowl on the small table next to the bed. 

“Do you think you can sleep now?” Lexa asked. She already knew the answer. Clarke’s eyes were beginning to droop.

“Sha, ai alpha,” was the omega’s sleepy response.

Smiling, Lexa stood. “I will return shortly. I need to fill Indra and the others in about Ontari, and I want some gona (warriors) to go find Horus.” The alpha was worried about her horse.

“Okay,” Clarke said sleepily. “Don’t be long…beja (please).”

Lexa kissed her forehead. “I won’t. I promise.” The alpha could feel that Clarke’s fever was already diminishing. 

Lexa was pacing the floor of Indra’s war room. They had lost five days in their search for Ontari. The snowstorm had brought everything to a halt. It had been snowing for days, but it had finally let up. Not that it mattered because as soon as it ceased, spring decided to arrive. Warmer weather followed the last of the snow, and now everything was melting. The world had gone from a white winter not-so-wonderland to a melty, muddy mess withing the span of two more days.

On the bright side, Clarke was better. After only a day and half, the omega was back to her usual self. Even the fisa was impressed by her healing ability. He was even more impressed by how much food the small omega could consume. Once her appetite was back it seemed that she hadn’t stopped eating, and his apple and oat porridge was one of her new favorites especially when Lexa added extra sugar or honey to it for her. She couldn’t get enough of it. She was currently bugging the fisa, trying to learn how to make the stuff for herself.

Lexa’s mood, unlike Clarke’s was foul. A messenger had just arrived to tell her that Anya, who she had sent for to meet them in TonDC, was unable to arrive for a few more days because just as her rut finished, Raven’s rut started. She didn’t begrudge her fos (first) spending Raven’s rut together. The timing was just inconvenient, and she wanted the General at her side. 

She finally decided that instead of them continuing the search for Ontari, Indra was going to be given the task of assigning her best gona to find the natblida, at least for now. Teams had already been sent out to search for the Ice omega, but there was no trace of her. She either perished in the storm, which Lexa doubted, or she was waiting to make her move. There was no need for Heda to hunt for her personally, in fact it was probably unwise. She would be safer in Polis with her houmon at her side. Getting stuck in the blizzard was proof of that. 

Heda and Wanheda were required to return to Polis anyhow. They needed to attend to the matter of the Fleimkepa’s send off. It was the duty of the Commander to send off any fallen Flamekeepers, but to Lexa it was no duty at all. She wanted to say goodbye to her mentor one more time. It would help give her the closure she knew she needed. 

It also meant that Clarke’s Keyronkepa (spirit keeper) would now be the new Fleimkepa. The day would be almost as momentous as when a new Commander ascended. She hoped that Gaia was up for the dual tasks. There were several ceremonies and rituals that Gaia would have to attend, and she would have to prove herself worthy of becoming the Fleimkepa to Heda. It was not something that was taken lightly. There was, in fact, a large portion of rituals that Lexa would not be privy to as there were some secrets the Order was under no obligation to share. 

She had already told Indra that she would be accompanying them to Polis. While she still might not be very close to her daughter, it was not an event that Lexa would allow her War Chief to miss because she knew that deep down Indra was exceedingly proud of her daughter and wouldn’t want to miss Gaia’s ascension to Fleimkepa. 

Now, perhaps, Indra would see her daughter as the warrior she always wanted her to be. Only someone with strong character, and stronger morals could be Fleimkepa, and along with that they had to have unparalleled fighting skills. It was no simple task to protect and guide the Flame. Gaia would now be Lexa’s closest advisor and scribe. While in Polis, there wouldn’t be a day that went by where the two of them wouldn’t meet to discuss Coalition and Order matters. 

On top of the omega’s new duties as Fleimkepa, Gaia would still be Clarke’s Keyronkepa, and they hadn’t yet figured out all that went into that job. Gaia and Clarke were learning as they went. Heda hoped her duties would overlap enough so as not to overwhelm the Spirit and Flame Keeper.

The trip back to Polis had thankfully been uneventful. Clarke spent half of her time riding on her own horse, and the other half Horus with Lexa. Indra had spent most of the trip in silence, likely contemplating her daughter’s elevation to a station she had the utmost respect for. Gaia’s new status meant that her daughter was now her superior, and she tried to hide her pride in that, but she wasn’t fooling anyone. Twice, Clarke had caught the woman grinning from atop her horse, and the omega had teased her mercilessly. 

She ended up laughing right along with Wanheda, but when Heda or Gustus tried to tease her low, grumbles could be heard from her perch.

The trip to Polis was good for Indra and Clarke. The omega’s relationship with Indra wasn’t dissimilar to the one Clarke had with Anya, and it warmed Lexa’s heart to see the War Chief being so tender, patient, and caring with her wife. It is how she wished Indra had been with her own daughter, and the alpha hoped that Indra’s behavior with Heda’s omega wife would now carry over to her own omega daughter. If nothing else, Clarke was a good influence of the stoic beta, and she had a way of bringing the woman out of her shell.

When they finally arrived in Polis, Raven and Abby were waiting at the gates for them. Abby engulfed Clarke in a hug before instantly fussing over the injuries to her ears. Clarke finally had to growl at her to get her mother to leave her alone. She did assure Abby that she was feeling just fine. The poison had no lingering effects except to leave her constantly hungry, and that may also have been because of all the energy she had to expend during their ordeal. As it was, Lexa was uneasy because Clarke had lost some weight, and even though the fisa had assured Lexa that this was normal after what had happened, the alpha couldn’t help but fuss over her wife, making sure she always had more food than she could possibly eat.

Raven bounced eagerly next to the older alpha. When she finally had all of Lexa and Clarke’s attention, she flung back her long dark hair and proudly showed off her mating mark. The alpha was beaming, and the joy radiating off her was infectious. Clarke hugged the alpha and spun her around.

“Raven, I am so happy for you. How does it feel to be mated to the second most powerful alpha in the Coalition?” Clarke looked around wondering where Anya was. 

Raven showed off her huge, gleaming smile. “It feels like I am finally complete. I never knew that I wasn’t until I felt Anya’s bite. It was like the entire world shifted, and I knew that no matter how bad thing got, I would always be okay because I would have Anya at my side.” 

Lexa clapped Raven on the back. “I am very happy for you and my General. You deserve each other and all the happiness that being mated will bring you. I also never realized that something was missing in my life until I mated with Clarke. I know I am whole now.”

The omega smiled at her sappy wife. “Speaking of Anya, where is she?” Clarke asked.

Raven pouted. “She told me she had to take care of some business with the gona. She was supposed to be done an hour ago.”

Clarke subtly scented the air. Anya was nearby. She wondered why she hadn’t shown herself yet. Lexa, Abby, and Raven had all gotten into a lengthy discussion about the bunker, so Clarke excused herself for a while. Lexa furrowed her brow but let her houmon go because out of nowhere, Ryder and Stryker appeared, and they were there to guard the omega. Clarke greeted both men with a friendly hug then told her wife she would be back in a few minutes. 

Clarke followed Anya’s scent. It was strong but somehow off. It led her between several buildings and into a tavern that smelled of sweat, ale, aggression, and sorrow. No wonder Anya’s scent was odd smelling. It was being covered up by the lingering stench of the roadhouse. The omega wondered what business would bring Anya to a place like this.

Was her meeting with her gona here?

Her silent question was answered immediately. Except for Anya, the only other person in the bar was the bartender. 

The alpha was sitting at the bar with a large stein of ale in front of her. Clarke couldn’t help but feel hurt that Anya hadn’t come out to the gates to greet them, but then she could smell the distress coming off her friend. Something was deeply disturbing the alpha.

Clarke moved to sit on the stool next to Anya. She tapped the alpha on her shoulder, and the General startled so badly she almost upended her beer. It wasn’t like Anya not to know when someone was approaching her.

Copper eyes found Clarke’s and the omega intuitively knew that something horrible had happened. She just didn’t know what.

“Anya.”

The alpha’s eyes grew wide in surprise at Clarke’s presence, but then she was moving to engulf the omega. She held her tight but didn’t say anything. The pheromones pouring off Anya didn’t lighten up, in fact, they seemed to increase, and Clarke couldn’t be sure, but she would swear that she felt the warmth of tears wetting the material covering her shoulder.

“Anya, what’s wrong? What’s happened?” Clarke was desperate to know what was bothering her friend.

She became more concerned when Anya held her closer and still didn’t say anything. The embrace caused Clarke’s nose to be just above the alpha’s new mating mark, and the omega was able to catch Anya’s strong scent along with Raven’s more subtle one, but buried beneath that, there was an alluring scent that Clarke had never smelled before. It made her feel wildly protective of the alpha.

She finally forced Anya away from her. She held onto her shoulders and forced the alpha to look at her. “Tell me what’s going on, Anya. Nau (now).”

The use of the one word in trig being so forcefully expelled from the omega’s lips had Anya following the order.

“I think…that is to say…well,” the anguished alpha wiped a stray tear from her eye. “I think I am pregnant, Clarke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think of that bombshell?
> 
> Please don't forget that in this fic, except for during rut, female alpha's are just that - female.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the love last chapter. I love the idea of a pregnant Anya. Between Raven and Clarke being overprotective, to her having midnight cravings, and to her having what she will see as "weak" moments, well, it's hopefully going to add up to some really good reading.

Chapter 30

Clarke was gobsmacked, completely and absolutely flummoxed. She’d be the first to admit that she was ignorant when it came to reproduction, but she was fairly certain that alphas couldn’t get pregnant. 

“Anya,” Clarke began carefully, “I’m no expert, but I don’t think alphas can get pregnant.”

Fear, excitement, and despair flashed across the General’s face before it settled on confusion. Anya looked like she was at a loss for words when she finally said, “We can. Alphas can, but it almost never happens.” Anya stared down into her full glass. She looked like she was desperate to take a drink, but she didn’t. 

When she looked up again, her expression looked muddled; lost. “What am I going to do, Clarke?”  
.   
Clarke was still so confused. She didn’t understand how an alpha could get pregnant. She slid Anya’s stein over to herself and took several large gulps. It took her a few minutes to parcel it out. She thought of Lexa and her rut. Until they mated, Lexa looked like every other woman, but when her rut hit, things changed. If Anya’s rut ended, and Raven’s began, maybe it did mean that Anya could be pregnant. It would explain the enticing new scent laced within Anya and Raven’s mixed scent. 

When Clarke thought about it, it made sense. The scent evoked an ancient, almost primal instinct in Clarke to want to protect the alpha, even though she knew damn well the alpha could protect herself, and if it was true, and Anya was pregnant, the omega in Clarke would, of course, want to protect the alpha and the life she carried within her. 

Catalyst for Rebirth. Wasn’t that part of what went along with the title of Wanheda? She wasn’t the catalyst for this new life, but surely it explained the fierce feelings of protection and dedication she was feeling toward the alpha.

She gently took Anya’s hand within her own and forced the alpha to look at her. “If this is true, you should be out celebrating, not hiding in a bar and thinking about drowning your sorrows.” Clarke was glad that Anya apparently realized that she shouldn’t be drinking if she really is pregnant. “This is a joyous occasion, so why do you look so sad?”

“Because I am an alpha, and alphas are meant to protect; protect their mates, their people, and their pups.” Anya looked forlorn.

“Yeah, and you will still be doing that. Being pregnant doesn’t change any of that,” Clarke contested.

Anya stood from her bar stool, almost upending it. “I am a general, Clarke. I can’t exactly ride off into battle if I am worried about the pup I am carrying.” 

Suddenly Anya looked stricken with fear. “Lexa, oh keyron (spirit). She’s going to kill me.”

Clarke puffed up. “She will do no such thing,” meaning she knew Lexa would not over-react to the news at the same time as meaning that she would not allow her mate to punish her general for something so natural, perfect, and extraordinary.

Anya still looked alarmed, and Clarke softened her stance. “Anya, I know Lexa is your Heda, but she’s not going to be angry. You have to know this,” Clarke said, trying to convince the stricken alpha. “Whether she admits it or not, you are her best friend, and I know that she is going to be elated when she hears this amazing and wonderful news.”

Anya was shaking her head. 

“Ai fos (my first), if what you are saying is true, your pregnancy isn’t just extraordinary, it’s also a miracle. What you have created with Raven is something to be celebrated, not feared.”

“Clarke, I’m so scared.” Poor Anya looked so lost.

The omega pulled her friend into another hug. She poured out pheromones meant to comfort and calm her. “I know, Anya, but we will all be here for you every step of the way, and Raven, she’s going to be ecstatic. She loves you…so much.”

“She does.” Disbelief colored the alpha’s voice. “She really does. I never thought anyone would love me the way she does.”

Clarke smiled. “Well, good thing you were wrong, because that girl would make the world go boom for you.” She leaned away from Anya and pulled her toward the door. “Now don’t you think we should go tell her the good news?”

“Wait, I didn’t pay.” Anya protested.

“General,” the bartender called across the room, “it is payment enough to be one of the first to hear the good news. I offer you congratulations and good health, alpha. Come back when you can indulge again, and the first round will be on me; the first two if you name the pup after me,” he cajoled.

Anya gave the man a watery chuckle. “I’m holding you to that, Elmo.” 

After Anya swiped at her tear-stained cheeks, she drew herself up to full height, straightened her coat, and walked out the door. “Here goes nothing.”

They ran into Lexa, Abby, Raven and the others shortly after walking back onto the street. It seemed their absence had been noticed, and Lexa was putting her newfound connection with Clarke to good use. She was using the sense within her to figure out where Clarke had run off to. 

As soon as Lexa spotted her, she could tell that something was off with her houmon (wife). Clarke was anxious and fidgety, and Anya, well she was standing so rigid that she looked like she had a fighting staff strapped to her back. She also had that look in her eyes that she only had when Heda was about to reprimand her. 

The Commander sniffed the air and smelled the sour stench that could only come from having spent time at Mo’s tavern. Clarke and Anya reeked of it. She immediately bristled.

“Want to tell me why you ran off to grab a drink at Mo’s instead of greeting us at the gates as you were instructed, General?” Lexa had not been pleased when they arrived, and Anya was not there as she had asked. Surely the messenger she sent ahead of them had given Anya the news of their imminent arrival.

Clarke walked over to her alpha and said, “Be nice. There is a perfectly good reason why she was there.”

Lexa growled. “Better than following a command from her Heda?”

Clarke frowned at her mate. Looking over to Raven, the omega could see that the other alpha wasn’t entirely happy with Anya either. She could almost see the head of steam building in Raven. 

“You went drinking? I thought you had official business with your men.” Raven’s face was turning red with anger.

Anya was leaking distress pheromones again, and in a move very unlike her (or any alpha, really), she ran over to her new mate and got on her knees. She grabbed one of her mate’s hands and kissed it. “Raven, I swear that’s not what I was doing. I didn’t drink even a sip.”

It was Raven’s turn to growl. “But you aren’t denying you went there.” The look of hurt that moved across her face almost crushed Anya.

“I’m not,” Anya admitted. “I didn’t have any business with my men. I learned something today, and I got scared.”

Lexa and Raven tilted their heads at this. The Anya they knew did not ever get scared.

“And what has you so scared that you ran to a tavern instead of finding help or confiding in your mate?” Lexa was uncomfortable. Anya’s stress pheromones were making her nose itch, and instead of questioning her friend, she wanted to console her, but her duties as Commander came first, and she needed to know why the General disobeyed an order.

Anya looked to the skies. Her chest was heaving. “I…I…”

Clarke stepped in. “I think what she is trying to say is that she needs a few minutes of privacy with her new houmon, and then she can tell you what’s going on.”

Lexa bridled at this. No one kept Heda waiting, but if her omega was telling her that Anya needed a private moment with Raven, then she believed it.

“You have five minutes, General.” Lexa groused.

Anya hurriedly got to her feet and dragged Raven down the street. Lexa watched. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on, niron?” All anger had left her voice.

Just as she was about to tell Lexa no, they heard a whoop come from Raven. “What? No way. Get out of town, you’re lying.” 

Lexa’s eyes widened. What could Anya have said that had Raven telling her new mate to leave?

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at her alpha’s reaction. “I know what you are thinking, Lex. That’s not it.”

“What’s not it?” Poor Lexa had no idea what was going on.

“Just be patient. You will find out soon enough.” The blonde was smiling hugely.

They could see that Raven and Anya were speaking quietly, and Lexa could swear that she saw tears in her General’s eyes. This was confirmed when Raven brushed one off her General’s cheek. She had looked angry and hurt just a minute ago, but now, the Skai alpha was beaming. Her smile was so big that her white teeth were gleaming in the sun.

Raven was down on her knees, and she had both hands on Anya’s belly. Lexa couldn’t hear, but there was no mistaking that the little bird was speaking to her mate’s stomach, and now Raven had tears streaming down her face too.

Lexa shook her head, confusion growing. “What are they doing?” she asked.

Abby, who was silently taking in the whole scene finally spoke up. “You really don’t know?”

Indra only smiled. Gustus decided to weigh in. “Our Heda is wise, but she is still young. In our time together, I don’t think she has ever witnessed this.” The big man looked delighted in what he was observing.

“Witnessed what? What am I witnessing?” Lexa was growing angry again. She didn’t like being left in the dark.

No one answered. They simply watched the exchange between the two new lovers. When Raven finally got to her feet again, she crushed Anya too her and peppered her with kisses. “I’m a sire,” she said.

“I’M GOING TO HAVE A PUP,” she yelled for all to hear. She was still holding onto Anya as she jumped up and down. “I KNOCKED UP THE HOTTEST PIECE OF ALPHA ASS IN ALL THE LANDS.”

For the second time since she had known her, Lexa watched as Anya turned a deep crimson, and a slow, stunned smile spread across the Commander’s face. She watched, transfixed, as Clarke ran up to her friends and joined in the celebration.

Gustus took one of Lexa’s hands. “I hope that one day soon you too will feel the joy that Raven is feeling right now. There is nothing, and I do mean nothing, to compare to the feeling, the knowledge, that comes with knowing you are going to be a parent.”

Abby took Lexa’s other hand. “He’s not wrong, and I too hope that you and Clarke will both be fortunate to have pups when the time is right.” 

The Skai fisa (healer) stole a glance at Anya. “You should go congratulate your General. She’s looked over here twice already, and I think she is waiting for your blessing.”

Lexa frowned at Abby’s choice of words. “Lexa, go tell your friend that you are happy for her.” Abby pushed her forward. “I’m going to go do some research on alpha pregnancies. They are beyond rare, and I want to be prepared to help Anya in any way that she needs.”

Lexa walked with Gustus and Indra at her side. She felt stiff and uncertain. It wasn’t a feeling she was comfortable with. Anya was her mentor, her strongest friend, and never in her wildest imaginings had she ever imagined the alpha as pregnant. An alpha pregnancy, especially the alpha pregnancy of Heda’s General was unchartered territory. Alpha/alpha relationships were not frowned upon, but she didn’t know how the people would react to the Coaltion’s most powerful General having a pup. To her knowledge, nothing like this had happened in recent history.

Anya looked nervous as Lexa approached. “You have always been unique, ai lukot (my friend), but now you are the most unique. I should have known you would be the first alpha since Praimfaya to conceive.” Lexa put a reassuring hand on the other alpha’s shoulder. “I know you are going to be a good nomon.”

Anya let out a shuddering breath and relief flooded her. “Mochof (thank you) Heda. I…I.”

“Oh, be quiet and give me a hug,” Lexa commanded, and Anya moved rigidly into the embrace. In all the time they had known each other, never had the alphas hugged before. Heda does not hug her generals. It would be seen as a sign of weakness. It made Lexa realize how rigid and tiring their society could be at times. It was something she wanted to change. Before the formation of the Coalition, each clan needed to portray itself as unyielding and strong, showing no weakness, but now, with the people united, there was no longer the need for the posturing and stoicism. Life needed to be more than just about survival.

Once the threats of Ontari and Jaha were taken care of Lexa vowed to rebuild that mindset. It was time for them figure out a way for everyone to live; to live, love, and learn, not just survive.

Raven, who hadn’t stopped grinning said, “I’ll be honest and say I thought about the remote possibility that our mating could result in pups. I mean, I know it’s exceedingly rare, but I was thinking about it.” She tenderly ran a finger over one of Anya’s eyebrows. “For some reason I thought if it happened, it would be me who would carry the pups.” She gently hip-checked her mate who still seemed to be recovering from the stress. “Our pups are going to be so badass.”

Anya finally moved and pulled her mate to her, giving her a blistering kiss. “They are going to be badass.”

Indra, who had been silent through all of this, gave Anya an unspeakably soft look. “Motherhood is a gift to cherish. I have only just come to realize this. I missed out on so much with Gaia because I was stubborn and did not approve of the path my child took. I was a branwoda (fool) and almost lost her, but I know you will do better.” She gave Anya a rare smile. “I know I made my own mistakes, but I will be here to help you any time you need it.”

The General didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to expect when Lexa arrived with the others, but this wasn’t it. She was still coming to grips with the fact that she and Raven were going to be nomons. Knowing that she had Lexa’s blessing, and the support of all around her took a huge weight off her shoulders.

Lexa moved them all into the tower. They were hungry and tired after the trek from TonDC to Polis, and she wanted a hot meal, especially for Clarke who she could see fatiguing even during the excitement of Anya’s news. Despite the omega’s insistence that she was fully recovered from the trial of the snowstorm and Quint’s poisonous arrows, she could feel deep in her chest Clarke’s hunger and urgent need to sit. 

Over that past few days, Lexa felt more in tune with her wife. She could feel Clarke’s little aches as well her near constant hunger. She had also felt her elation at Anya’s news. The problem was that unless Clarke was in her immediate vicinity, she had no idea why Clarke was feeling what she was. Well, that wasn’t true. Pain and hunger, she understood, but the emotions were harder to read. The new sensations were making her extra protective of her omega, and she hoped that it wouldn’t get her into trouble. She could easily see herself overreacting if something were to overly upset her wife.

Lexa casually watched Raven now that the other alpha knew her mate was pregnant. As they got into the lift in the tower, the Skai alpha didn’t stray from Anya’s side. There were numerous soft caresses and more than once she had her hand under Anya’s shirt, touching the General’s her belly. What she enjoyed most was that Anya was soaking up the love and attention coming from her mate. 

Now that she had heard the news, Lexa understood why Anya had been so nervous to tell them about the pregnancy. It wasn’t just that it was an atypical situation for an alpha to be in, it was also that alphas were the ones seen as the protectors, especially when their mate was with pup. It wasn’t that most omegas (at least those not from Azgeda and the sky) weren’t capable of protecting themselves, sires were driven by instinct and the fierce need to safeguard their mate and their pup. To be in a position where Anya was the one being protected by her mate was one that Lexa knew the General would have a hard time with. She only hoped that as her pregnancy progressed that Anya would allow Raven to take up the role of protector.

If anything, her fos (first) deserved to be loved and cared for. For as long as Lexa had known Anya, the woman had never committed to anyone. Her General had taken her position very seriously and refused the advances of so many betas and omegas. She didn’t want to get distracted from her duties. Sure, she had spent her rut with others, but it never amounted to anything more than that. 

Lexa smirked as Raven was touching her mate yet again. For a long time, Lexa thought she too would be forever alone, that was until an underfed and maltreated omega fell into her life. There was no way she could have known the joy it would bring her to love someone so completely. 

Now Anya had that too, with a little one on the way. Right then she decided, it didn’t matter what the people of Coalition thought of this miracle. In all likelihood, they would be happy for the well-respected General, but if there were any who disparaged the General or called her weak, Lexa would deal with them herself. 

The elevator stopped on Anya and Raven’s floor. It was also where Indra and Gustus would get off. “If you would like to join us for dinner, meet us in our quarters in an hour. I would like to celebrate this momentous occasion.”

“Uh, Heda, it might be a little over an hour,” Raven winked. “I need to have a private celebration with my baby nomon first, if you know what I mean.”

“Understood.” Lexa winked right back. “We will wait for you, but don’t wear my General out too much. She needs to make it to dinner and eat properly now that she’s eating for two.”

Just then Clarke’s stomach made its needs known eliciting a chuckle out of everyone.

“We won’t make you wait long,” Anya said in a hurry, dragging her mate out of the lift. Lexa laughed when she saw that her fos was blushing again.

Exactly an hour and twenty-three minutes later, Raven and Anya arrived at Heda and Wanheda’s private suite. Gustus and Indra were seated on chairs in the sitting room as Clarke lounged practically on top of Lexa on the couch. They each held a glass in their hand, and all except Heda appeared a little bit tipsy.

Clarke fumbled to her feet when the two arrived and made a show of handing Raven a glass. She grabbed another for Anya but filled it with something different. “No alcohol for you, fos.”

Anya lifted the drink to her nose and found she has been given a glass of apple cider. She was pretty sure Raven had been given a glass of mead. She sighed. It would be some time before she would get to enjoy anything alcoholic again. She didn’t mind though. Already she had fallen in love with the tiny speck of life within her. She would not do anything to jeopardize it.

Clarke raised her glass in the air, and Raven mimicked her. “Let’s have a toast.”

The grounders looked at them like they were two people who had just fallen from the sky…which of course they were.

Clarke huffed. “Have you never toasted to each other before?”

Blank stares are the only reply she gets. “You know,” she sighs, “drink to the health of another, raise a glass in celebration, clink glasses to honor a newly mated couple?”

“Is that what we are doing?” Indra asked. She gave her fellow grounders a look and they each took their glass and slammed it on the table, spilling half the contents and almost breaking the stems on the fine crystal Lexa had brought up for the occasion. 

“Drein daun (drink),” they all yell, startling the Skai people before lifting their glasses and draining them down.

“That’s it?” Raven asked in surprise. “That’s all you say? Drink? That’s so boring.”

“And what do you say to…toast someone. That’s the word you used, right?” Anya questions.

“Well,” Raven scratches her head. “We lift our glass and say a few nice words. But there are so many different words you can use to toast someone.”

“I would be curious to know what they are,” Lexa said.

“Well, cheers, slainte, bottoms up, skol, chin chin, prost, piritos, down the hatch, here’s mud in your eye.”

“Why would anyone toast to getting mud in their eye? If that has ever happened to you, you know it is painful.” It was Gustus who said this, and it had Clarke and Raven cracking up.

Before they could respond, Abby arrived along with a messenger.

Abby took in the scene before her. From the way Clarke and Raven were giggling to the spilled drinks on the table, she figured she had missed out on some fun. The messenger, on the other hand, stood rigidly in the doorway.

Lexa got to her feet and took the woman into the front room to receive whatever message she had for Heda in private.

When Lexa came back into the room, she looked simultaneously excited and solemn. 

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked. 

“Prince Roan has arrived. I have invited him to join us for dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that it has been a few days, how are you all doing after that finale? 
> 
> I think overall it was quite satisfying, but I was expecting to be horribly disappointed, angry, sad, or all of the above.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the late update. There are excuses, but none of you want to hear those. 
> 
> Happy reading.

Chapter 31

The mood in the room shifted at the news that Prince Roan of Azgeda was going to be joining them for dinner. 

Clarke and Raven glanced at the others in the room. All they knew was this was the man who was going to ascend the throne in Azgeda since Nia had taken a gamble and lost. Not only had she lost her kingdom, she also, in all likelihood, had forfeited her life with her stunt during what should have been the ceremony celebrating Heda’s mating to Clarke kom Skaikru and the introduction of Wanheda. 

That day had ended with a natblida omega on the loose, but it had also solidified Wanheda’s place in the grounder society. Rumors of her stealth, grace, and ferocity were spreading across the lands. The guards had spread the story of how she had come barreling into the city with Lexa on her back, and the story of her and Lexa surviving the snowstorm in the cave primarily because she was able to fell a great old oak had made its way to Polis. Clarke had no doubt that Lexa had lot to do with that, and she was grateful. 

Every day, it seemed her connection to her mate was growing. Just as Lexa was able to feel Clarke’s pain and emotions, she could also feel Lexa’s. She wondered if at some point they would be able to share thoughts, but she dismissed the idea as too farfetched, but then again…

There was a knock on the door to their quarters, and one of the guards at the door announced Prince Roan’s arrival.

“Enter,” Lexa said stiffly as she rose. Clarke rose to stand next to her.

The door opened and an imposing figure walked in. Standing at six feet tall, and wearing a black leather coat adorned with a metal studded belt, multiple metal clasps, a fur-rimmed collar, and rope that wrapped around his left arm made him an intimidating figure, but that wasn’t what Clarke found the most daunting about the man. It was the two, exceptionally large, matching facial scars that were impossible to miss. Each one started just above the bridge of his nose, crested down and around each temple and ended mid-cheek, forming a semi-circle around each eye.

Tattoos Clarke could understand, but scarification she could not, at least not for herself or for Trikru, but she guessed it could make sense for the people in the brutal lands of Azgeda. From what she had heard, life there was harsh, and only the strongest survived. Scarring oneself, she assumed, showed just how strong one could be.

“Roan kom Azgeda,” Lexa announced. She walked forward and clasped his forearm. “It has been a long time.” She held out her hand for Clarke. “I would like to introduce you to my mate, Clarke kom Trikru formerly kom Skaikru, and the legendary Wanheda.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows. Legendary. That was new.

The beta dipped his head to Clarke and instead of clasping her arm in the usual grounder manner, he took her hand and kissed it.

“It is an honor to meet the omega who tamed our little Lexie here.”

Lexa growled at him. “I have told you, repeatedly, not to call me that.”

“And I don’t ever remember telling you I would obey that command.” He gave a dazzling smile. 

Clarke would be getting that story out of Lexa later. Clearly these two had a past. 

He scanned the room and his eyes lit upon Raven. “Are you going to introduce me to the other new addition to the clan?”

Anya stood, walked over and greeted Roan. She was not as formal with the man as Lexa was, and Clarke figured there was a story there too. The alpha pulled Raven to her. “This is my mate Raven kom Trikru, formerly kom Skaikru. Kiss her in any way, and I will rip off your head.”

Roan’s eyes got huge at that announcement. “The untamable tamed. Color me impressed.” He reached for and kissed the top of Raven’s hand too, completely ignoring Anya’s threat. “You Skai people must be something else to have tamed the two strongest alphas in the land.”

“You’re telling me. I’m so badass I’m even the sire to Anya’s pup.” Raven announced much to Anya’s horror.

If it was possible, the beta’s eyes got even bigger, and then he dissolved into a fit of laughter. “That’s rich. An alpha general pregnant.”

Raven took offense and growled. Clarke had never heard the fun-loving alpha growl before. “I wasn’t joking,” she snapped.

It took a minute for Roan to get control of himself. Everyone in the room was giving him a severe look. “You’re serious?”

“As serious as the bomb I’m going to blow you up with if you laugh at my mate or my pup again.” Raven had moved to stand slightly in front of Anya who looked both mortified and mollified by the action.

Roan looked from Anya to Raven to Anya again. He bowed deeply. “You have my apologies. It’s just that I have never heard of an alpha carrying a pup before.” He gave Anya an earnest look. “General, I am at your service, just as I have always been.”

“Thank you, Roan. I’m going to hold you to that.” She smacked him upside the head. “That’s for kissing my mate after I explicitly told you not to.”

He rubbed the side of his head, and the mood in the room began to lighten again.

Roan asked the question that was on everyone’s mind. “How did you even figure out that you are pregnant? By the smell of it, you and your mate just finished your cycles.”

Anya looked thoughtful, “It’s not something I can explain. All I know is I felt something take hold deep within me. It was a feeling like nothing I have ever experienced before, and instinctively I knew what it was.” She finished her statement with a goofy grin on her face and a hand on her belly.

“A happy miracle,” Roan observed. “Once your ruts sync up, the possibility of another pup disappears.”

“Crap,” Raven turned an alarmed look at Abby. “Please tell me there is a way to keep us out of sync because now that I know it is possible, I know I am going to want more.” She started to pace the floor.

“Whoa, slow down, Raven. Let’s get through this pregnancy first, and then we can discuss future ones,” Abby said.

“But,..”

Anya stopped her mate’s roving. “She’s right. Let’s make sure we can get all the way through this one before we start counting on other ones.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just so damn excited. I want to be the mother to my child that my mother wasn’t to me.”

Anya stroked her hand over Raven’s hair. “And you will be. You’re going to be an amazing mother.”

Clarke interrupted them when the two got lost gazing into each other’s eyes. “Dinner is here, so if you two are done eye fuc…”

“Don’t finish that statement, niron. They will sit down to eat when they are ready.” She swept her hand toward the other room. “Roan, it’s an honor to welcome you into our home, unfortunately after we eat, we have some serious matters to speak about, but for now, let’s enjoy ourselves.”

Dinner was a light and joyous affair with much talk of pups, family, and teasing. Roan relentlessly teased Lexa about when she would have her first pup, ribbing her about that fact that her general beat her to it. Lexa’s face was flush, but the gleam in her eye told everyone what they needed to know. Lexa was excited about the possibility of having pups one day.

Clarke watched everyone tease each other. Even her mother was joining in on the fun, and she was hit with a huge revelation. Every person sitting in the room had become family to her. Roan might be the exception, but she could see that there was a special bond between him and Lexa, and him and Anya, and she had a feeling that he would quickly become family as well.

It made her think of his mother and everything they had yet to deal with. While dinner had been fun, she felt like it was time to get down to business.

She waited a little while longer. Abby was explaining that she had found a treasure trove of medical equipment in the bunker that was still functional.

“It makes what we had on the Ark look like children’s toys.” Abby was saying. She added that she would be able to closely monitor Anya over the next several months. When describing the ultrasound machine, Anya couldn’t hide her amazement over the fact that they would be able to see their pup before it was born. Still, though, the alpha looked nervous.

Anya and Raven called an end to their evening when they both started yawning hugely. Abby followed them out, telling them more about what she had found in the bunker.

That left Lexa and Clarke with Gustus, Indra, and Roan. They retired back to the sitting room.

“I guess it’s time to tell the Prince why he is here,” Clarke said.

Roan had been left in the dark. When the messenger had found him, he had not been given any details as to why he was being called to the Capitol. He was simply told that Heda had important matters to discuss with him.

“Yes, I would like to know what has happened that was important enough to call me away from the other matter you had me attending to.”

“Have you heard any of the rumors leaving Polis?”

Roan shook his head. “Not many, I heard about Wanheda and the fact that you had a mate, but not much more. There weren’t exactly a lot of people to talk to on my current mission.”

Clarke wanted to ask what his mission was, but kept her mouth shut for now.

“Then you have not heard that your mother appeared with a natblida to disrupt the ceremony announcing my mating to Clarke?”

He gave a wry smile. “I hadn’t, but it doesn’t surprise me. Was the natblida Ontari?”

Lexa growled. “You knew about her and didn’t tell me?” The look the Commander was giving Roan was menacing, but he shrugged it off.

“I knew about her, but I didn’t know she was a natblida. All I knew was that my mother was training her, well more like torturing her, for something. She never let me get close to the girl. The few times I did get a glimpse of her, I could see that the omega is crazy. The last time I saw her, she had a psychotic glint in her eyes. I’ll be frank and admit that it scared me. My mother has a way of taking someone and twisting up all the thoughts in their head until they don’t know up from down. It makes them exceedingly dangerous.”

“That’s an understatement,” Clarke huffed.

“She was training her natblida for one thing.” Lexa stated to Roan.

“And what was that?” He asked.

“To assassinate me.” Lexa’s voice was flat, not betraying how she felt about being hunted by a well-trained nightblood.

Roan was silent for a minute. “And where are my mother and the nightblood now?” He rubbed a finger of a scarred temple.

Clarke and Lexa sighed and launched into the long story. Between them, they told Roan about the ceremony, Nia’s challenge, Titus’s death at Ontari’s hands, and how they tracked her through the forest only to be tracked by her in return.

“That joka (fucker) Quint helped them? I warned you about him years ago Lexie.”

Lexa growled and Roan laughed. “I know. Don’t call you that.” He winked at Clarke.

“How did Quint even get involved with Ontari?” He was curious.

“We aren’t certain, but we have a feeling he was working with your mother long before she made her challenge at the ceremony.”

He looked at Clarke then. “And how did you defeat my mother? She’s a seasoned warrior. No offense, but in comparison, you are just a pup. There’s no way you could have beaten her.”

Lexa and Clarke shared a knowing look before Clarke stood and moved into an empty space in the room. Lexa gave her a subtle nod, and before Roan could even grasp what was happening, he was being stared down by a huge wolf.

“Jok.” He scrambled back in his chair, tipping it over in the process. “Jok.” He lunged to his feet and took up a defensive stance. Indra and Gustus couldn’t help it and laughed at his surprise. His chest was heaving as he took in the image of the large wolf in front of him.

“Calm down man,” Gustus said, “or you’ll piss yourself, just like your mother did.”

That did the trick. He pointed a shaking finger at Clarke. “What the hell just happened? Where’s your wife?”

Lexa smiled, enjoying his surprise. “That is my wife, Roan. I would like you to formally meet Wanheda, the Commander of Death.”

The beta was shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s impossible. Those stories aren’t true. No one can turn into a wolf.”

Lexa rose and walked over to Wanheda. She leaned her body against Clarke’s. “As you can see, it is not impossible.”

Roan righted himself, and when he did, he moved in front of the Commanders and got on his knees, bowing until his nose almost touched the ground.

“Stand up, branwoda,” Lexa groused. “You do not bow to us in here.”

Roan did as commanded. “I can’t believe it is true. In Azgeda, they tell stories of Wanheda, but the stories told there are of a traitorous woman who could change into a beast, a villain who eats children, and murders people in their sleep.”

Clarke shuddered. Lexa ran to grab a robe for her then held it up so she could change back without being naked before the Prince.

“That’s horrible,” Clarke finally blurted out, absolutely horrified. “Those are lies.” She started pacing the floor until Indra put a calming hand on her shoulder.

“Chil au daun, strik pakstoka (calm down little wolf). They are just stories.”

“But they are horrible and untrue,” Clarke protested. She may have only been Wanheda for a short time, but she felt personally affronted that there were stories being told about her that were patently false.

“Every clan has stories of villains; bedtime stories told to keep the goufas (children) in line,” the War Chief informed.

“You should hear the stories about the Sand Man in Sangedkru (Desert Clan). Those are truly terrifying,” Roan added.

“Why? Why would adults tell children scary stories like that?” Clarke was visibly upset.

“Did the Ark not have stories like that?” Lexa asked.

“No,” Clarke said emphatically. “They didn’t need to threaten us with bogeymen. The alphas on the Ark were the bogeymen. Even just looking at an alpha the wrong way could get you in trouble.”

“Joken Arkers. I will never understand why I let them live after what they did to you. We should have decimated them immediately,” Lexa exploded with anger for what her wife suffered for so long. 

Roan looked on wide-eyed. He had no idea what Lexa was talking about. He leaned over and whispered into Gustus’ ear, “What did they do to Clarke at the Ark that was so terrible?”

Gustus didn’t need to answer. Clarke, with her keen hearing overheard. Between Lexa’s anger making her agitated, and her own anger at what had been done, she was just as upset as her houmon.

“They forced some kind of fucking chip down my throat, and it took my omega away.” Her voice cracked at the end, and her eyes got glassy remembering what it felt like. To be so empty, and devoid of everything that made her her was a feeling she couldn’t forget yet wanted desperately to scrub from her memory. 

Overcome with emotion over those terrible days, Clarke swiftly turned and buried her head in the crook of Lexa’s shoulder. 

Lexa held her tight. “Shh, niron.”

Gustus, always thoughtful, ushered Roan and Indra from the room. “We’ll be waiting in the Throne Room to finish this discussion,” he said quietly. “Let’s give these two a few minutes.”

The second they were gone, Clarke broke down. She sobbed in Lexa’s arms not understanding why she was so emotional. She thought she had gotten over her feelings of hurt and anger at what Jaha had nearly stolen from her, and if not for him she may not ever have realized her full potential, so she didn’t understand why she was so upset all of a sudden.

Lexa picked her up and deposited her carefully on their bed. 

“I’m sorry, Lex.” Clarke sat up and tried to wipe away the tears still streaming down her face. “I don’t know what came over me.” She hiccuped.

Lexa handed her a cup of tea, and Clarke had no idea how it magically appeared in the alpha’s hands. “Since we first arrived back in Polis, we have had nothing but stress. Between everything that has happened, it’s no wonder you are feeling especially emotional, and I know you want to be strong all the time, but you don’t have to be.” The alpha sat next to Clarke on the bed. “I know you think you have fully recovered from the poison, but you haven’t, and on top of that you are overly tired. I’m honestly surprised it has taken this long for this to happen.”

Clarke sniffled. “How do you do it?” Clarke swiped at another tear. “You have been under the same amount of stress, and I don’t see you falling apart.”

Lexa closed her eyes for a few moments. “That’s because I have been trained not to show weakness, but it doesn’t mean I am any different from you. I hide it better, and when I can’t, I find a place where I know no one else can see or hear me, and I let it all out. I cry just like anyone else, Klark. I’ve just been taught not to let anyone else see.”

Clarke engulfed her mate, hating that Lexa had to hide how she felt all the time. “You don’t have to hide in front of me,” Clarke cried. “Please don’t ever hide it from me.”

It was later that night when Clarke woke to the sounds of whimpering. It was after Lexa had helped her regain control of herself and they went to finish speaking with Roan. They told him everything that had been done to Clarke; from how she was treated on the Ark, to what happened after the dropship landed, and to how Jaha had taken away her omega. 

Roan had surprised everyone when he took the glass he’d had in his hand and shattered it on the stone wall. “That man sounds just like my mother. What is wrong with these joken (fucking) alphas? What sick thing did he think he was going to achieve by doing such a…such a horrific thing to you?” 

He was pacing angrily. He had long since ditched his coat and the gray tunic he wore rode sloppily over his hips as he twisted and turned in the room. 

He had abruptly stopped and ran out of the room back to where his coat was being stored. He handed something to Clarke, and she recoiled from what he tried to hand to her. 

“Wh-where did you get that?” She screeched, flinging herself away from the object.

“This is what he gave you, isn’t it?” Roan asked innocently. “I don’t know how I didn’t realize that this was what you were talking about.”

In his hand he was holding a chip that was an exact duplicate to the one Jaha had used on Clarke. Lexa took the chip in her hand, holding it as if it were something that could do her irreparable harm. When she thought about it, it probably could.

Clarke was freaked. “Lex, please don’t touch it.”

Everyone in the room could understand Clarke’s fear of the thing. “It won’t harm you. Not just by holding it anyway.” Roan said this with certainty.

Lexa held the disc to the light. It was almost translucent. How could something so small have taken over Clarke completely and rendered her omega practically nonexistent? She inadvertently took a step toward her omega and Clarke took a step away, eyes wide with fear.

“Lexa, please be careful,” Clarke pleaded.

Lexa took the chip over to the table and set it in the middle of it, hoping that by putting it down it would ease Clarke’s fears. 

“Do you have more of these?” Lexa queried.

“I don’t.” Roan answered.

“Where did you find it? How did you it come to be in your possession?”

“I met a man in Sangedakru. We were traveling the same way, so we spent the day together. That night I shared my bottle with him, and I maybe went on about my mother for a little too long. He dug into his pocket and handed me the chip. He told me if I could get my mother to swallow it, all my troubles would go away.” He scratched at the stubble on his chin. “When I asked him what he meant, he didn’t answer. He had fallen asleep, not used to the strong liquor we had been drinking.”

“What happened to the man?” Lexa felt an uncomfortable tingle at the back of her spine. She had a feeling she knew who Roan had met while crossing the sands of the desert clan.

“When I woke the next morning, he was gone. I’m sorry, Heda, I thought he was just another traveler.” 

Clarke was catching on. “Tell me what he looked like.”

When Roan did, Lexa let out a feral roar, and Clarke was feeling overwhelmed again. “You were traveling with that nomon joka (mother fucker) Thelonius Jaha.” It was Lexa’s turn to pace. “How the hell did he get all the way from Sangedakru to Arkadia?”

“How did he end up there in the first place?” Indra wondered.

No one had any answers. 

Clarke abruptly moved toward the door. She was shaking her head. “I…I need to go to bed. I can’t listen to anymore.”

“Niron, please wait, and I will go with you,” Lexa called after her, halting the omega’s progress.

Lexa turned to the others. “Please excuse us. We will have to finish this discussion in the morning.” She pointed at the chip. “I apologize, Roan, but I am now going to leave the chip with Gustus; for protection. I am sure you understand.”

Roan dipped his head. “Of course, Heda. Now that I know what that thing is meant to do, I no longer want it in my possession.”

Lexa started to walk away but stopped when Roan called her name. “When the time comes it would be an honor to go with you to Arkadia to destroy that man.”

“I will make sure you are by my side.”

Lexa could hear him saying to Indra and Gustus, “For as much as I hate my mother, I would never do that to her or to anyone.”

Clarke rolled over when Lexa whimpered again. It wasn’t often that her alpha had trouble sleeping. A shiver wracked Lexa’s body, and she woke suddenly. She saw Clarke staring down and her, and she tried to excuse herself to the washroom.

The omega clamped onto her wrist, functionally immobilizing her. She could feel Lexa’s unease. She could feel her partner’s worry as if it were her own.

“Lex, what did I tell you earlier?” 

Lexa’s troubled eyes glowed in the candlelight. “Not to hide my feelings from you.”

“Then why are you?”

“I…I don’t want to trouble you. Go back to sleep, Klark.”

“No, don’t do that. You let me cry on your shoulder. It’s okay to cry on mine. What’s troubling you, ai tombom (my heart)?”

Lexa’s breath hitched. Clarke had never used such an endearment with her. “I was dreaming. First of Titus, and then of you and all the wrongs that you have suffered, and the fact that there is nothing I can do to take those memories from you. There is nothing I can do to ease the burden of your past.”

A tear slipped from the alpha’s eye. Clarke wasn’t the only one who was overwrought and over-tired. Roan’s revelation had thrown them both for a loop.

“Oh Lex, sweetheart,” another endearment Lexa never been called before, but she liked it very much, “don’t you realize everything you have done for me? I may have a dreadful past, but it is just that, past, and while I was overcome by it earlier, I know that it is not something that will color my future except to make me more determined to make sure that our people do not suffer like I have.”

Lexa turned her head trying to hide the next tear that escaped. Clarke placed a finger on the alpha’s chin and turned the alpha’s head back to her. “My beautiful alpha, you don’t always have to be so stoic. It’s okay to feel bad for what has happened to me, and it is okay to mourn Titus’s passing. You don’t have to be strong all the time. In fact, I don’t want you to be. I want you to know that it’s alright to be soft sometimes.”

Lexa was shaking her head, and Clarke chuckled softly. “You are nothing like any alpha I have ever met before, but with this you are, and what’s worse is that it was ingrained into you even more than most, but it is not a weakness to feel bad about things. It takes strength to let others see what you are feeling, and Lex, I want to see. Please let me see.” Clarke was practically begging.

With that, the flood gates opened. Clarke pulled the alpha back down on the bed and curled herself around her making sure that every inch of her body was touching Lexa’s. She stroked her fingers through thick curls as the alpha cried.

“I just want all of this to go away. All I want is for us to be happy, but every time we turn around, we are facing some new and horrible threat. I feel like we are fighting for peace for the clans but that we will never get our own.” Lexa clutched Clarke’s hand to her chest. 

Clarke traced a finger over Lexa’s eyebrows and down the bridge of her nose, much the same way the alpha did to Clarke when she was in wolf form.

“You will be happy tomorrow, Lex. We will be happy tomorrow. That tomorrow might be a day, a week, or even a month away, but we will get our happiness, and do you know how I know that?”

Lexa shook her head.

“Because we have each other, and by the sounds of it, we always have. There is a reason our souls have stood the test of time.”

Another sob escaped, and Clarke held Lexa tighter as years of pent up emotion finally escaped the beleaguered woman. The blonde couldn’t possibly know the things that Lexa cried about, but it was clear to her that her mate had been holding in too much for too many years, and as Lexa finally cried herself out and fell asleep, the omega made a silent promise to the alpha that she would never let her emotions get bottled up again. She would be there to help carry Lexa’s burdens just as Lexa was there to help carry hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think about Roan and is revelations?
> 
> I think we will be seeing more of protective Raven.
> 
> As for the end, it hit me out of nowhere, but I think it was good for Lexa to be able to let out her emotions. To have to be strong all the time would be exhausting.
> 
> The next chapter will be out on schedule. That means you get another one tomorrow.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's the next chapter.
> 
> I do need to add a slight TW (trigger warning). Toward the end of the chapter it comes up that Clarke was forced to endure certain medical exams up on the Ark. None of them were invasive or what could be considered a violation to her body. It's more that she was forced to participate in something she didn't necessarily want to. Please don't overthink it. It's not as bad as what I am describing here.

Chapter 32

“This has been under the city the whole time?” Roan asked in amazement as he looked around that bunker. “How has no one ever found it before?”

Lexa gave a vague answer to the prince. She wasn’t about to tell him about the key Gaia had hanging around her neck. 

They were down in the bunker to reintroduce Nia to the son she had banished many years ago and bring her to the surface to have a formal ceremony in front of the ambassadors where Nia would openly relinquish her right to the Ice Nation throne and hand over the power to her son. After that, it up would be up to Clarke what she wanted to be done with the disgraced alpha. 

They had taken the long route to Nia’s current prison, but they found it empty. Alarm rose in Lexa, but next to her, Clarke put a hand on her shoulder. The alpha watched as Clarke scented the air. 

“She’s with Gaia,” Clarke announced. Lexa, of course, could smell that the Keyronkepa had been in the small dormitory that Nia was being held in. It only made sense since Gaia was acting as Nia’s jail keeper. With Clarke’s amplified senses, she was able to lead them to where the two women were located. When they got there, the Commander’s anger surged again. Gaia had Nia, unbound, in the Temple.

“What in the hell do you think you are doing, Keyronkepa?” Lexa roared. She charged over to them.

Gaia calmly rose from where she had been kneeling at the alter in the center of the room. “We were praying.”

Nia turned from her position, but she did not rise. Instead, she lowered herself further and exposed her neck in submission. “Wanheda. Heda.” There was a reverence in her voice that was weirding the Commander out. Clarke looked just as offput. 

Roan, who had never seen his mother bow to anyone had to cover his mouth to contain his disbelief. She hadn’t even noticed him yet. She only had eyes for the two Hedas standing before her.

“Who were you praying to?” Lexa narrowed her eyes. Much of the Order of the Flame was secretive, but she knew the members of the Order prayed and were devout followers of their religion. She had always assumed they were praying to the spirits of the former Commanders (to those who had carried the flame before she did) or she thought perhaps they simply prayed to Keyron (the spirit) in general. This is what she thought Gaia was doing, but she was extremely dubious about believing that Nia was kneeling in worship to anyone or anything. The only thing the former queen had ever worshipped was herself. 

Gaia didn’t look surprised at the question at all. “I was praying to Keyron for the safe return of our Hedas.” She gave a sly grin to Lexa. “It seems my prayers have been answered.”

Clarke snorted. She couldn’t help herself. “We may have gotten back safely, but we didn’t come back unscathed.” She pointed to the tip of each ear where Abby had placed some of the nasty healing paste on her wounds. 

She sneered at Nia. “Your fucking little omega assassin and the natrona (traitor), Quint, did this to me.”

Nia lowered her eyes, remorse spreading across her face. She hadn’t moved from her position on the floor, if anything, she tipped her head even further into submission. 

“Wanheda, I cannot undo the wrongs I have done to Ontari, Heda, or yourself, but I can try to help you catch and subdue the natblida omega, and after that, I will gladly accept my punishment. My fate is in your hands now, I know that, and I accept that.” Nia’s voice was smooth with hints of regret.

“I call bullshit,” Roan scoffed, finally drawing his mother’s attention. “You are so full of crap you could fill an entire latrine all on your own in one sitting. You deal in other people’s fates, but you have never been one to allow anyone to change your fate except yourself.”

Nia carefully got to her feet, never taking her eyes off Clarke or Lexa. “Roan, I think perhaps I have wronged you the most, and for that I am sorry.”

“Another lie.” He stalked up and got in her face. “You are only sorry because your ridiculous little stunt didn’t pan out the way you wanted it to, and now you are sitting in a prison that you have no hope of getting out of.”

Her ice blue eyes scanned his face. “Not that long ago, that would have been true, but Gaia has opened my eyes to a new world, one that has always existed, but one that I refused to see, and I now know that Heda and Wanheda are the only way forward in this world.”

Clarke physically pushed Roan out of her way so that she could get in Nia’s face. “Really, because it wasn’t that long ago that you called me a runt, a Sky Bitch, and a pup. You threatened to breed me until my insides fell out if I remember correctly.” Spittle had gathered at the corners of the omega’s mouth she was so angry. “Forgive me if I don’t believe a single word coming from your mouth.”

Nia flinched at her words, but she didn’t move. “I wouldn’t believe me either, Wanheda, but Gaia has shown me things, proven things, that I have thought false all my life. I didn’t believe her at first, but then she showed me some of the lost texts.”

“You showed her the sacred books from the Order’s library?” Lexa boomed. “How dare you?”

Gaia puffed up, making herself seem larger than she was and sending out a strong blast of pheromones, surprising everyone in the room. “You may be Heda, but I am the Keyronkepa, and if the rumors are true, then I am also now the Fleimkepa. You do not dictate to me how the information of Wanheda and Heda is shared. Those decisions now fall to me.” The usually placid omega looked to be building a head of steam.

“As Keyron and Fleimkepa, it is not only my job to protect the sacred texts, it is also my job to use them to turn disbelievers into believers, and if I have proof that will help someone realize that what they have been taught is false, then I am going to use it, and not even you can stand in the way of that, Heda.”

Clarke wasn’t sure, but she would swear that she saw something flash within Gaia’s serious eyes. Lexa must have seen it too because she immediately lowered her hackles (some) and apologized. 

“Moba (sorry), Fleimkepa. You will have to forgive us if we have a hard time believing that this wretched woman is capable of changing her ways in such a small amount of time. I am a natblida who was raised to believe in the power of the Flame, but even I didn’t fully believe until it was placed within me.”

This was news to Clarke. She thought Lexa was the Flame. She didn’t know that the Flame had been placed within her. The truth was that Lexa rarely spoke of the Flame or the Conclave.

“What do you mean it was placed within you?” Wanheda asked.

Gaia tilted her head at Lexa. “That was not your information to share, Heda.”

Lexa’s anger started to peek through again. “It would appear that we are both sharing information we thought was to remain secret.”

“Em pleni (enough),” Clarke yelled in trigedasleng. Things were getting out of control. She realized that she was part of the problem, but she couldn’t have Gaia and Lexa going at each other, especially in front of Nia. 

“Enough.” She had to take a calming breath. “Gaia, I think you can understand our surprise that you have been so forthcoming with the woman who just tried to supplant her omega, a natblida that she purposefully hid from Heda and your Order, and whom Nia has admitted she trained to kill Lexa, at her side. It’s hard to comprehend why you would do this.” 

Gaia was about to speak, but Clarke held up her hand, commanding silence. She turned to her houmon (wife). “Lex, while her methods are not ones we may agree with, they are her methods to use as both Keyronkepa and Fleimkepa, and if she wants to educate someone in hopes of changing their views then she deserves the chance to try.”

“Not when that person is MY prisoner. Not when that person is Nia.” Lexa’s voice was tight and threatening. Heda was doing her best to keep her anger in check, but it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t that she was angry at Gaia, and certainly not at Clarke, she was angry because she felt like Nia was taking advantage of the Flamekeeper, and she did not trust the woman. If Nia were saying she had a newfound belief in something she has so vehemently hated for so long, Lexa couldn’t help but think that she had an ulterior motive. “And, if Nia has the privilege of learning from Gaia, maybe Charles Pike deserves that privilege too.”

Lexa regretted her last words immediately. While she wasn’t wrong, she was wrong for saying it, and her heart hitched when she heard Clarke’s intake of breath. She clenched her fists until her knuckles were white. “See, this is what Nia does. It is what she has perfected. With barely any effort, she already has all of us at odds with each other, and I won’t stand for it.” 

The Commander pointed at her bodyguard. “Gustus, take Nia kom Azgeda back to her cell, and bring down your most trusted men to make sure she does not leave again. Gaia, you can continue to meet with Nia, but you will not do it if it means that she has to leave the confines of that room.” She turned to Indra and Roan. “Meet me in the Throne Room tomorrow morning after breakfast. We won’t be speaking about the transition of power from your mother to you today. Now if you will all excuse us, I need a moment alone with my mate.”

Clarke was standing stock still as the others left the room. Lexa’s back was to her as the alpha watched them leave, and she didn’t immediately turn once they were alone. The omega watched as her mate’s shoulders slumped, and she knew Lexa was wishing she could take back her words about Charles Pike, but the fact was, as much as it hurt Clarke to hear it, she had to admit that Lexa was correct. If she was going to say that it was okay for Gaia to try to converse with Nia, then there was no reason that Gaia shouldn’t speak with Pike and try and change his long-held beliefs. She also had to admit that she was still too new to this world to understand the dynamics of everything that was happening around her.

As an omega, it was in her nature to want to believe what an alpha was saying to her. It was part of what being an omega was. It was inherent to every omega to believe another’s words until they were proven false. So, even though she had refuted what Nia had said, there was a tiny part of her that wanted to believe the woman. Lexa on the other hand had worlds more experience dealing with people like Nia. The alpha knew she couldn’t take Nia’s words at face value.

Before Lexa could turn and apologize for throwing Charles Pike’s name in her face, Clarke moved and wrapped her arms around her from behind. 

“I am sorry, Lex.” Clarke could feel Lexa shaking in front of her.

“No, I am the one who is sorry.” The alpha turned so that she could rest her head on Clarke’s shoulder. “I was so surprised by Nia’s presence in the Temple…our Temple…that I reacted poorly, but you have to understand that I cannot take what Nia says at face value, nor can I be okay with Gaia’s actions. Nia has proven herself, on so many occasions, to be conniving and ruthless. Gaia’s actions were foolish and needlessly careless.”

Clarke kissed her wife. “And I am sorry too. I jumped into the conversation when I should not have. Gaia has only barely begun to teach me what it means to be Wanheda and a part of this world. We have only skimmed the surface, and I think that maybe I thought because I had finally embraced what I am that it gives me some kind of authority to step in, when really, I don’t have enough, or really any, experience to warrant stepping in.” She ducked her head. “All I did was create a division between you and Gaia.”

Lexa moved so that she could look in Clarke’s eyes. “You didn’t do anything like that. Really, what just happened wasn’t much different than many of the arguments I had with Titus. Besides, it started with an innocent question.”

Clarke shook her head. “I don’t even remember what it was at this point.”

“You asked about the Flame being placed within me. I think now…what is Raven’s phrase…ah, now that the cat is out of the bag, I think it is time for us to discuss it.”

By the end of Lexa’s gruesome tale, both women were in tears. They were both seated in their thrones in the Temple, and Clarke now understood why Lexa didn’t speak about the Conclave. Her alpha had been forced to murder her natblida sister and brothers. In the minds of Titus and the Order, it was how the spirit would choose the next Commander. 

Lexa lifted her thick mane of hair and turned to expose the scar just at the base of her skull. It was barely visible. Clarke had to use her fingers to pry the hair apart so she could see it.

“I am so sorry you had to do that, Lex. You were so young.” Clarke tenderly patted her alpha’s hair back into place, but not before placing a kiss on the thin, almost imperceptible, line of reddened skin.

“It was what I was trained to do, Klark.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not going to happen again,” Clarke said emphatically. “We are going to change the Conclave. There is no reason that children should have to battle to receive the Flame, and I have to ask, does whatever is in you really contain the spirit? You and I have been together throughout time, and while I admit I still don’t understand it, you have always been the spirit…had the spirit…hell, I don’t know anymore, so how is it that whatever was placed into your head contains the spirit of the Commander, or that of past Commanders?”

Lexa thought about it. “I don’t know if it is ours to know or explain. I think, perhaps, it is simply ours to accept whether we understand it or not.”

Clarke shook her head. “Maybe, but it doesn’t mean I won’t keep trying to comprehend, and it also means that I will allow it to happen like it did, not again.” She stood from her throne and paced in front of Lexa. “You said one of the novitiates lived because she ran.”

Lexa nodded.

“Do you know where she is?” Clarke asked.

“I do,” was all Lexa said.

“Then you should invite her back to Polis. If she trained just as you did, then maybe she could return and help you…help us,” Clarke spun and held up her arms gesturing to the room, “with all of this.”

“It is not that simple, Klark. When Luna ran, it was with an understanding that she would never be able to return, and in the time she has been gone, she started her own clan. She leads them well, and her people need her more that you and I need her here.”

Clarke was confused. “Which clan is hers?”

“Floukru.”

Clarke tilted her head trying to understand. “But they are part of the Coalition. If she is their leader, she should be welcome here.”

Lexa sighed. Clarke was correct, and now that Titus was gone, maybe it was a good time to reintroduce Luna kom Floukru to the people of Polis and the ambassadors. Many would look down on her as a coward, but none knew the circumstances of why she left. Perhaps if they knew, the people would be a little more sympathetic to her plight. None could fault the alpha for running after being forced to kill her own brother in the Conclave.

The grounders may be forced to do battle and kill all the time, but to have to kill you own sibling was something entirely different, and it might be the way to show that people and the clans that nightbloods killing nightbloods during the conclave was not the way to select the next Commander. There had to be a better way.

Lexa, uncharacteristically, played with the tip of one of her braids. “I think you are right, Klark, and maybe she could help us change our ways so that blood does not always have to have blood. After I go and find Gaia so that I can apologize, I will ask her to look into the archives to see what she can find out about past Conclaves. Surely, things were different in the beginning.”

“I hope that they were, but if they were, I wonder why they devolved into what they are now.”

The alpha didn’t know the answer to that. She turned so that she could find the Fleimkepa, but Clarke stopped her. 

“I know things got a little heated earlier, and I didn’t help matters any, but I want you to know that while I support Gaia trying to work with Nia to make her understand, I do not believe that she is a changed woman.” Clarke shuddered. “She threatened to breed me. Don’t think that even if she has had change of heart that I will forgive that.”

“I know that, niron. I think the shock of seeing Nia in the temple got to all of us. Why don’t we get out of the bunker and get some fresh air after I speak with Gaia? I am guessing that you are hungry by now. I would very much enjoy feeding my omega.”

Clarke chuckled. “You guess correctly, alpha.”

They were walking hand in hand, discussing the ruined morning and things getting pushed back a day regarding the transition of power from Nia to Roan. The pyre for Titus had been built and together, with Gaia at their side, they would give him the sendoff he deserved as a Fleimkepa later that evening. 

Lexa was still struggling with how things ended for him. Since Clarke had come into her life, the man had changed, and they’d had a contentious relationship, but in the end, he had overstepped. At the time banishing him felt like the right thing to do, but now she wished she had done something differently. 

At the same time, she felt like she had a new opportunity to take the Coalition in the direction she had always meant for it to go, and with Clarke and Gaia, and maybe even Luna, she might now have that chance. There was no one standing in her way. 

Suddenly she had a bounce in her step, and it had her mate grinning beside her. Rounding a corner in the halls of the bunker, they could hear light-hearted arguing.

“Come on Anya. Abby is waiting for us, and you need to let her examine you,” Raven was saying.

“I don’t need an exam. I told you I am fine,” Anya groused.

When they could see them, they could see Raven trying to pull an immobile Anya down the hall. 

“Like hell you are. You’re the first alpha to get pregnant in probably over a hundred years. You will see Abby now or I will make a knockout bomb and drag you down to medical. It’s your choice, come with me now or get dragged unconscious through the streets of Polis and end up down here anyway.”

When Anya spotted Lexa, she ran to the Commander, desperation in her eyes. “Please tell my mate that I have more important duties to attend to than having my first gyn…gynec…jok. What are the words you used?”

“Gynecological exam,” Raven smirked. Clarke winced. She remembered very clearly what it was like to get an exam like that on the Ark. As an omega, she hadn’t had a choice in the matter. She had been forced to endure regular exams while up in space. 

Omegas might not have been treated well, but the alphas ensured that “that part” of them was always in working order. She was suddenly feeling very angry and protective, and she got in Raven’s face.

“You will not be forcing Anya to do anything that she doesn’t want to.” Clarke was seething. She remembered what it was like not having a choice in what happened to her own body. The assistant who had done her exams had always been gentle and apologetic, and they had always been done in private, but Clarke had not had a say in what happened to her. Omegas had no rights on the Ark, and what Raven was trying to force Anya to do reminded her of those times.

Raven stepped back in surprise. “Have you ever been forced to have an exam like that?” Clarke asked but didn’t give the mechanic time to answer. “No, of course not, because you are an alpha, but I do know what it’s like, and while my exams were used to ensure my health, they were still forced upon me, and I won’t allow you to force that upon your mate.” She was growling and all three women standing around her shared looks of horror.

Lexa’s lip curled up in a snarl. “What do you mean they forced you to participate in the exams? What does that mean? Did they hurt you? Did your mother do that to you? Jok.” Heda threw her hands up in the air. Not for the first time, she wondered why she didn’t just march to Arkadia and annihilate the horrible band of people. “Did they violate you?”

Raven and Anya looked just as horrified as Heda.

“No, Lex, they did not violate me.” She poured out pheromones in an attempt to calm the three alphas. “They did routine tests; things like ultrasounds and blood tests.”

“And Abby consented to this? She is your nomon (mother) and an alpha. Could she not stop these exams?”

“No, even as the Chief of medical, she couldn’t. Every omega on the Ark had these exams.” 

“They did nothing invasive?” It was Raven who asked. 

“No,” Clarke assured. “Never.”

Raven relaxed a little, but the other two alphas present did not, and Anya looked even more terrified of having Abby examine her.

Lexa halted the pacing she was doing. “We will accompany you to see Abby. I want to know exactly what was done to Clarke, and I want to know exactly what she would need to do to my General,” She gave Anya a tender look, one she had never given her fos before, “and if you do not like what she has to say, you do not have to participate in the exam. Kei (okay)?”

Overwhelming relief rolled through Anya like a wave. “Kei. Mochof, Heda.”

“So, you can see,” Abby was saying, “that there is nothing invasive that will happen. We do everything via scans and blood samples. The only thing you probably won’t like is the needle I will use to draw your blood. It’s up to you though if you want to participate in any kind of exam. We aren’t on the Ark anymore, and no one will be forced, not by me, but I do recommend it for the health of you and your pup.”

Clarke had stepped into the hallway. She didn’t like the reminder of what it was like on the Ark, and she needed a few minutes to herself. It wasn’t even that the exams had been that traumatic (she had heard what they used to be like before the bombs dropped), it was that she’d had no say in what happened to her then. 

She squared her shoulders and was about to walk back in, but Raven came out the door and pulled her into a hug. 

“I am so sorry, Clarke. I didn’t know they did that to you, and I hope you know that I would never force Anya to do anything she didn’t want to…not like I could anyway.”

Clarke accepted the hug. Raven couldn’t have known what had happened to her up on the Ark. 

Lexa peeked her head out the door. “Raven, Anya has consented to allow Abby to examine her. She is asking for you to be present.”

Raven bit her lower lip and then her mouth split into a huge, shit-eating grin. “I still can’t believe I am going to be a mother.” She disappeared into medical to be with her mate.

“Ai tombom (my heart), are you alright?”

“I am,” the omega said after a pause. “It just brought back bad memories, but it also hardened my resolve to fix things so that no one has to endure what the omegas on the Ark did. I can’t imagine it was much better for those in Azgeda either.”

“No, probably not,” Lexa agreed.

“It also makes me want to finish our business with Ontari and Jaha. I wish I could snap my fingers and make it go away, but I can’t, so let’s go get that food and figure out how the hell to get this over with because when all is said and done, I think that maybe I would like to talk about what it will be like to have pups of our own one day.”

A tiny excited squeak escaped the alpha before she could help it. “Pups with my dark hair and your blue eyes.”

“Or,” Clarke said, “my blonde hair and your green eyes. Either way, our pups will be gorgeous.”

“That they will, niron, that they will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my beta has decided that she thinks Clarke is a busybody, and should not have inserted herself into the situation between Anya and Raven. Her quote was "She just can't not insert herself into other people's business." 
> 
> First I laughed, but then I had to wonder, is she right? I did remind my beta that this is Clarke's story, but is she too pushy? I saw it as Clarke's protectiveness of Anya, but maybe I am wrong. What do you think?


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos. It was so fun to prove to my beta that Clarke is no busybody.

Chapter 33

A week had passed, and things had gone from bad to worse. Oddly, the transition of power from Nia to Roan had gone smoothly. The former queen handed over her crown seemingly with grace and humility. Nobody bought her act, but at least there was no trouble. 

The sendoff off for Titus had gone smoothly as well, and it gave Lexa the closure she needed. She would no longer dwell upon what could have been as far as the former Fleimkepa went. She had a new Fleimkepa to help and advise her, and after speaking to each other about the event in the bunker with Nia in the Temple, they both came to an understanding and were stronger for it. 

She had also sent a messenger inviting Luna kom Flokru back to the capitol, and she should be arriving in a few hours.

What had gone badly was that in the span of only a couple of days, Lexa’s gona had intercepted two packages destined for her. Both contained poison. They were weak attempts at getting to the alpha, but the implied threats made their points. Ontari was still out there and actively trying to eliminate Heda.

The other bad news came when a bedraggled group of delinquents arrived in Polis from Arkadia. Bellamy had appeared at the gates of Polis with Finn, Wells, Monty, Harper, Murphy, and Jasper. All except Monty seemed to be in fairly decent health. Monty, however, the only omega in the group, was not in good shape. He was pale and weak. It seemed that the leaders of Arkaida had taken to feeding its resident alphas to a new height meaning that omegas, and to a lesser degree the betas, got less than the meager scraps than they were already being given. 

When the two Hedas were informed that the delinquents had arrived from Arkadia, Clarke had gone sprinting from the tower. Bellamy was waiting there for her with open arms and crushed her to him in an embrace.

Monty and Jasper also gave her hugs. The others were more reserved, but they greeted her warmly. Jasper made her show off her mating mark, and when Lexa finally arrived, he have her two thumbs up at a job well done. It was probably a good thing Lexa didn’t fully understand what that meant.

Monty, who could barely continue standing was taken to the fisa (healer). Jasper and Harper went with him. A gona (warrior) was sent to fetch Abby. Monty would not be taken down into the bunker for medical treatment unless necessary. For the most part, the bunker remained a secret, and Heda intended to keep it that way for as long as possible.

The others were led to the market square and Clarke introduced them to the wonders of Emile’s kabobs. She ordered each of them a plethora of food and grinned as they all moaned at the first bite.

Bellamy smirked as juice ran down his chin. “We wouldn’t have waited so long to leave Arkadia if we had known the food was so good.”

Finn who had juice on his forehead because he had to keep pushing his floppy hair out of his eyes agreed. Along with Murphy, he was mostly quiet, choosing to take things in silently instead of expressing his wonder like Wells and Bellamy did. 

Wells had a million questions for Heda and Wanheda, and they answered them good-naturedly. The wonder in the eyes of the new arrivals reminded Lexa of all firsts Clarke had had when she first arrived in their camp. Lexa’s lips quirked up remembering the first time Clarke had tried an ear of corn. The poor omega hadn’t known what to do with it. It was Indra who had shown the blonde how to eat it, and by the time she was done, Clarke had corn kernels in her hair. Lexa chuckled to herself. This was long before the omega had ever stepped foot in Polis. 

Watching Clarke learn about popcorn had been just as entertaining. The omega had had a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that the ear of corn she had just eaten could also be dried and then made into “fluffy, delicious balls of goodness” as she had taken to calling them. There had been a two-week period while the omega was training with Anya and Indra that she had been obsessed with all things corn and what it could do. 

“I am glad you are enjoying the food, but I have to ask why you have come to my city,” Lexa said formally.

Bellamy put down his empty wooden kabob skewer. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand. “Jaha won the election,” he explained without preamble. “He’s commanding total submission from the others, and about a week ago some grounder girl came into camp.” He scratched at the stubble on his cheek with sticky fingers and Lexa had to hold back her grimace. “She has scars on her face, and she hides her scent. I can’t tell what her designation is, but she carries herself like an alpha.”

“She’s scary as hell,” Murphy added after having been silent for so long, “and she has Jaha and his minions wrapped around her little finger.”

“You’d think that she was the new Chancellor with the way she acts,” Wells piped in.

Dread washed through Lexa, and she didn’t know if it was her own or Clarke’s that she was feeling. At least now they knew why they hadn’t found any trace of the omega.

Clarke’s head whipped up. “Go back, did you say she’s hiding her scent?”

“Yeah,” Murphy said. “Somehow she’s covering it up or muting it. It’s the strangest thing I have ever experienced. I mean we all have a scent, but hers is missing.”

That could explain why Clarke hadn’t scented her when they had left the cave the first time after the storm, but she couldn’t be sure, because in the city, after her fight with Nia, Ontari’s scent had been very present. The natblida omega had used her scent to send Wanheda on a wild goose chase through the forest.

For a brief moment she thought that maybe Jaha had chipped her. That would explain the lack of scent, but she figured there was no way that Ontari would still be such a commanding presence if he had done that to her. She’d have been just a big a mess as Clarke had been.

Lexa scrubbed her hands over her face and Clarke briefly rested her head on the wooden table. 

“Her name is Ontari,” Lexa finally said. “She’s an omega and is extremely dangerous.”

Murphy scoffed. “If she’s really an omega, then how could she possibly be dangerous.”

Clarke let out a growl, and Lexa could feel that she wanted to shift right in front of them to show them just how dangerous an omega could be, but she placed a hand on her houmon’s knee effectively calming her down. While what Murphy had said was offensive, she could not fault the man. He’d grown up on the Ark just as everyone else had, and he may not believe in how omegas were treated, but it would take time for him and the others to see just how strong and fierce an omega could be. 

Jasper and Harper joined the group and told them that Monty would be fine. He was malnourished and dehydrated, but the healers were treating him, and he would be up and at it again by tomorrow.

Harper was bouncing in her seat, and it was clear she wanted to ask something. Everyone let her bounce until it was too much for the beta. “I know that it can’t possibly be true, but when the Commander’s warriors let us pass through the blockade, they told us stories that you could turn into a wolf, Clarke. You’ve become a legend to them. What have you been doing, besides the Commander that is (everyone snickered, and Lexa raised her eyebrows at the bold statement) that has garnered such favor…such adoration from the grounders?”

Lexa stood and held her hand out to Clarke. “It seems, perhaps, that a demonstration could be useful.” She winked at Clarke. The Commander was deeply unsettled by the news that Ontari was in Arkadia and needed to meet with the General, Wormana (War Chief), and her other advisors, but she thought it might be good for these newcomers to see exactly what her wife could do. 

She led the group to the fighting rings, and Lexa was pleased that at this time of day they were mostly empty. Most had already finished for the day except for Anya who was trying, and failing, to teach her new mate to spar. Raven was an unfocused mess, giggling whenever Anya touched her to correct her form, looking lustful when the other alpha showed off her prowess, and getting immediately protective when the group of delinquents approached. She let out a low growl of warning and stepped in front of her mate when Bellamy and Finn got too close to them. 

“What the hell, Rae.” Bellamy held up his hands as they approached. “We thought you would be happy to see us.” The beta took another step closer to his friend, but Raven let off another growl. He was too close to Anya.

“Raven.” Finn approached, totally oblivious, and pulled the alpha into a possessive hug. Now it was Anya’s turn to growl.

“If you want to keep your arms, you will unwrap them from my mate,” Anya spat. Her voice dripped with the threat of violence, but Finn didn’t take the cue.

“Rae, you smell different. Why do you smell like that alpha?” Finn asked.

Raven pushed him away. “Really Finn? Did you not hear what she just said?”

“I heard it, but I don’t believe it.” Finn had always had a crush on Raven, but it had never been reciprocated. They were good friends and nothing more, at least in Raven’s eyes. 

Anya nudged the alpha delinquent forcing him to step back from Raven. The alpha mechanic moved her hair aside, then with great care moved Anya’s so that everyone could see their matching mating marks. Finn’s face fell, but he wisely kept silent. 

Everyone else congratulated the pair. It was Harper and her astute nose that caught onto the fact that the two smelled differently than they would if they were merely newly mated. She looked at them trying to figure it out before blurting. “One of you is pregnant.”

Raven grinned hugely but Anya narrowed her eyes. “How do you know that?”

Jasper rushed to Harper’s side. “She always did have a clever nose. She can sus out anything with it.” He pulled Harper a few steps away from Anya. “So, who’s the lucky one, and how the hell is it possible? I mean, I know how it is possible, but alphas don’t exactly get pregnant every day.”

Finn was standing there, completely still. He was having trouble absorbing the fact that his crush was not only mated but also going to have a pup.

Murphy thumped him on his back. “Better luck next time, pal.” He looked at Clarke. “I’m ready to see what makes you so special.” There was a hint of skepticism in his voice.

“Why don’t you spar with me?” Clarke offered, relieved when it took the attention off Raven and Anya.

She tossed a staff to the man and he caught it easily. He spun it around trying to get a feel for the weapon then charged at Clarke, hoping to take her by surprise. She rolled her eyes and stepped aside, using her own staff to smack him on the ass. 

“Gonna have to do better than that, John.” She said it to make him angry. He did not like being called by his first name.

He whirled around and went at her again. This time, she blocked his staff with her own; the strike reverberated down both sets of arms.

She played with him for a while before pressing the attack. It had him stumbling backward in the sloppy mud. She used the weapon to sweep his feet out from under him, and when he landed on his back, she pinned him there with the staff at his neck. 

“Yeah, so what?” he said. “So, they taught you to fight. Doesn’t mean that any alpha, or even beta, can’t just come along and force you to submit.”

He stood and tried to do exactly that, attempting to make his point. Clarke wasn’t immune, but Murphy also wasn’t a very strong alpha. Either way, she didn’t give him a chance to finish what he started. 

In a flash, she had transformed, and a collective gasp rose from the group. Even Anya and Raven gasped. Watching Wanheda shift forms would never cease to be anything but amazing.

Murphy stumbled backward and fell on his butt. “What the…holy shit.”

Behind him Jasper was cackling in delight. Bellamy was the least shocked having been the one to help Heda with researching the myths about shifters, werewolves, and Wepwawet. He hadn’t had any idea what to expect, but he had been expecting it.

Wells, who had also recovered quickly, walked over to Clarke. “Can I touch you?” He asked politely. Clarke nodded her head, and long fingers began to stroke her fur.

“I can’t believe it’s true. I mean, we all heard about it, but none of us really believed it." He ran his hand down her side. “My father is going to freak when he realizes that the stories are real. Before we left, he had become fanatical, trying to keep the stories about you at bay, saying they were not true, and that the next time our people saw you they would know what he meant.”

Wells shook his head. “He’s obsessed with you, Clarke, and the way he talks about you is almost as if he knows something that no one else does.”

Clarke started to growl, startling Wells and causing him to step back. Lexa stepped in and used her pheromones to help calm the now agitated wolf. 

“Your father does know something that most others do not, but that is not a story for today. I need to take the General and have a meeting about our next step against your father. The news that Ontari is in Arkadia is more than a little disturbing.”

Lexa shucked off her coat and held it up for Clarke, who transitioned and stepped into the coat before anyone could see her. She really needed to stop destroying her clothing. Maybe Raven and the blacksmith could come up with something she could wear all the time so that if she had to shift, her clothes wouldn’t continue to get shredded. She needed more than just adjustable armor.

Another gasp came from the group. Finn, who’d had the double whammy of losing his crush to the General and having witnessed Clarke’s transformation had barely recovered. He stooped down and picked up a fallen fang. “Can I keep this?”

Raven plucked it out of his hands. “No, you ass. They aren’t souvenirs.” She handed it to Lexa who put it in her pocket.

The Commander had the sudden realization that as word about Wanheda spread, so too would the knowledge of what happened during her transformations. Tufts of fur, teeth, and even fallen whiskers could become the source of black-market trading, and that was something she absolutely could not allow. She didn’t want the leftover evidence of her wife’s ability to be taken and traded for profit and power. She had read about how the bones and bodies of religious figures in the past had been desecrated so that people could carry the “relics” with them. It also made her worry that somehow, someone would be able to use Clarke’s teeth or fur against her. Lexa had read stories of how pieces of oneself could be used to bring forth magic that could harm the original owner of such objects. She had never given much credence to magical stories, but she would never have considered that she could have been a Pharaoh in a past life or that someone could turn into a wolf either. There were parts of this world that she didn’t understand, and she didn’t want to take the chance of someone obtaining a part of Clarke only to be able to use it against her.

She went over to Ryder and Stryker and instructed them that they were now in charge of collecting and destroying any remnants that were left behind when Clarke shifted from human to wolf and back again. They nodded and began to scour the area. 

Finn, who still looked shocked but also disappointed to have lost his new toy, had moved to the back of the group. He was sulking. Suddenly, King Roan appeared behind him and startled the boy when he placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Why don’t I take this young man, and the others, to the market to look at the wares traded there, and then I will attend your meeting,” he said looking at Lexa, “with the ambassadors so that we can plan how we are going to take down Thelonius Jaha and Ontari kom Azgeda. I can’t get to my people right now because the weather makes it too risky, so I may as well be useful here.”

Lexa dipped her head in thanks. She knew it would be some time before Roan would be able to return home, but she did not expect him to aid in their fight. He’d made the offhanded comment about wanting to be by her side when they went after Jaha, but she hadn’t realized just how serious he was.

“Thank you, Haihefa (king) Roan. Your help will be appreciated, and if you would, I would like for you to speak with your mother later. Take Wanheda with you. We need to know exactly what Ontari is capable of, and no one knows that better than your mother.”

He bowed to Lexa and Clarke. “It would be an honor.” He smirked. “Now that I am the King, I can slap my mother around to make her talk if she decides to get tight-lipped.”

Lexa returned the smirk. “I don’t think that will be necessary. She’s been playing nice, and she’s especially careful around Clarke.”

“That takes all the fun out of it.” He winked at Clarke. “Can you at least make her piss herself again? I really would have liked to have seen that when it happened.”

Clarke laughed. “I don’t think the guards would appreciate having to clean that up.”

Later that evening, Clarke was lying in bed with Lexa explaining to her how her meeting with Nia had gone.

The former queen had been forthcoming about what she had done to Ontari, and more than once Clarke had to excuse herself to recover in private from having heard what the woman had done to the poor omega. 

Ontari had been brutally abused and tortured by Nia and her men. At one point, Ryder had to pull Clarke away from the Ice alpha after she misunderstood and thought that Nia and her men had violated the omega during her heats.

That wasn’t the case. Ontari’s “virtue” was intact. Nia assured it because, at the time, she thought her plan would not fail. She thought Ontari would be able to seduce the Commander, and she needed her to be “pure.”

“I don’t care that you think you are a changed woman,” Clarke charged, “you are fucking sick, and what you have done to Ontari, and all the other people in Azgeda, especially the omegas, will be punished. I hope you don’t think that pretending to have had a change of heart will change your fate.”

Steely ice blue eyes looked at Clarke. Nia looked resolved. “I have told you that I will accept my fate, whatever that may be. I know it is in your hands now.”

Roan had been quiet throughout all of this. He had known of his mother’s depravity, but he had never witnessed it. To get a firsthand account of the terrible things his mother was capable of made him sick, but it also made him angry; angry at himself. He had been banished, and when that had happened, he ran from his people and his home. He should have stayed and fought. He should have tried to muster those that were loyal to him to rise up and defeat his mother. 

When they had finally left the bunker, Roan apologized to Clarke for his cowardice. “Maybe if I had taken a stand, none of this would be happening.”

Clarke stopped walking. “If you had taken a stand, you and a lot of good people would probably be dead by now, and it wouldn’t matter. Ontari would still be on the loose, and Jaha would still have control over Arkadia. Things happen for a reason. At least this way, our two enemies are in the same place, making it easier to target them.”

“Do not think it will be easy, Haiplana (Queen).” Roan said.

“Don’t call me that. I am not a queen.” Clarke ground her heels into the mud. 

“Then what are you?” He raised his eyebrows in challenge.

“I am Heda’s mate,” Clarke commented easily.

Roan grinned. “That would imply that she is above you, but she is not. You are her equal in every way.”

“Fine, then I am Wanheda.” Clarke started moving again. “I don’t need another fancy new title. It’s taken me a long time to get there, but I know I am Lexa’s equal. That doesn’t mean I am ready to be.” 

Clarke’s blonde hair waved in the breeze. “Roan, I am still so new to all of this. I was thrust into a leadership position when the dropship hit the ground. I had no idea what I was doing then, and I have no idea what I am doing now. All I know is that I want to make things better for the people around me.”

Roan smiled, showing off his surprisingly white teeth. “And that is the first quality of a good leader. You speak of your people and wanting things to be better for them, but you do not speak of yourself and what you want for you. You put the people first. From what I have heard about these delinquents of yours…”

“They aren’t my delinquents,” Clarke countered.

His smile grew and he continued. “From what I have heard about the delinquents, you fought for them and led them even though they showed blatant disrespect for you. Those people scoffed at the things you did for them, and you knew it, but you did it for them anyway. You, and you alone, kept Anya from slaughtering your people after the ring of fire.” 

Roan bellowed then. “I’m sorry, I know that you still feel deeply for what happened that day, but the look on Anya’s face must have been priceless when you defeated three hundred of her men with the push of a button.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes at him. It wasn’t funny. It was why Quint had wanted her dead.

Roan wiped a mirthful tear from his cheek. “Moba (sorry), Wanheda. That wasn’t appropriate. What I am trying to say is that you are the one solely responsible for the survival of your people. If you hadn’t convinced Anya to take you to Lexa, your people would have been destroyed despite your victory that day. No one else had the guts to do that, and, if you hadn’t already laid the groundwork, the rest of your people would have perished after they fell from the sky. It was your actions, and no one else’s, that kept your people alive. You look out for your people even when it puts you at risk. You put them before yourself. That is what makes a good leader.”

Clarke was thankful for his words. During her time on Earth, she had come to accept a lot, but she still had trouble accepting the things she had done, and the things she would have to do. She still didn’t want to be a leader, but she was one. She hadn’t wanted to be Wanheda either, but she now accepted that she was, and she was beginning to enjoy her relatively newfound power, especially if it would help her achieve her goals and help everyone to be treated the same way. 

She had to chuckle. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t heard all this before. Lexa and Anya had told her just as much, but sometimes it took someone from outside your circle to help you see things in a different light. She would have to make it up to Lexa that night.

Lexa rolled over in the bed. Her faced was flushed from their horizontal activities. “So, it was your conversation with Roan that made you so frisky tonight?”

Clarke playfully slapped her shoulder. She didn’t have the energy to do much else. “Maybe.” She rolled so that she was lying on top of Lexa. “I just wanted to show you my appreciation for everything you have done for me. Plus, who knows how long it will be before we get to do this again since we are heading to Arkadia tomorrow.”

She snuggled into her wife. “When all this is over, I think we should talk about having pups.” Clarke whispered that little bombshell in Lexa’s ear and a whoosh of air left her when the alpha flipped her over so that she was staring up into thrilled green eyes.

Lexa couldn’t keep the joy out of her voice. “You…you think you would be ready to have pups with me? You don’t want to wait?”

“I don’t.” Clarke had come to the conclusion shortly after finding out that Anya was pregnant. “So much can happen in this world, and I don’t want to lose out on the opportunity to share the best things in life with you, and that includes having pups. I want everything with you, ai tombom (my heart), and I want it as fast as possible. I want little Lexas running around and giving us heart attacks when they fall. I want to see little Clarkes being held in your arms. I want to see our children playing with Anya and Raven’s, and I want to see my mother become a grandmother, but mostly I want to see you. I want to see you as a nomon. I want to see you playing with our pups on the floor, and I want to see you when we are old and grey, and our children have had children.”

Lexa leaned in and crushed her lips to Clarke’s. She kissed her until she had taken all the omega’s air. “Ai hod yu in (I love you) so, so much. I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I want all those things too, but I wouldn’t want them if not for you, if not with you. You have given me so much already, and that you would gift me with pups…well…” Happy tears leaked from her eyes. “it would make me the happiest alpha, the happiest person, on this planet. That you are in my life has already given me more happiness than I ever thought would be possible.” She leaned in for another kiss.

Clarke was overjoyed. The next few weeks would be filled with darkness, and she knew they would be filled with death, but once the battle was done, and Jaha and Ontari had been defeated (because she had to believe they would be,) she and Lexa would be able to start working on their future; a future that included peace, and friends, and pups. It was knowing those things that allowed her to sleep that night even with the darkness of the coming days looming over her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my favorite part of this chapter was Clarke's talk with Roan. I would love to hear what yours was.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. This chapter, and the one I am working on now (37) have beaten me into submission. What a struggle, but I am finally happy with the results. Hopefully you will be too.

Chapter 34

“Would you hurry up?” Murphy groused at Finn. They were headed to TonDC with hundreds of grounder warriors at their back. 

The delinquents had been taken utterly by surprise at the speed with which Heda was able to call her troops to arms. The troops were mostly comprised of gona from Trikru, but there was a smattering of warriors from the other clans as well. If need be, the Commander could have a thousand more men at her fingertips in mere days if she needed them. The stakes were high, and Lexa would do what she needed to ensure that Jaha and Ontari did not get away. 

They were marching toward TonDc, and most people were on foot, making the journey longer than it would have been if it had been taken by just a few people. It took time to move so many men.

Finn, who had been feeling like the odd man out since leaving Arkadia, longed for his cot. The hospitality of Polis had been more than he expected, and he couldn’t deny that the food was outstanding, but he wasn’t comfortable in the company of the grounders, despite every one of them being more than nice to him.

He knew what it was that he was feeling, but he wouldn’t admit it. He was feeling weak, and he was also feeling pushed aside; like no one needed him. He wasn’t like the other alphas from the Ark. He didn’t feel the need to push for superiority and belittle those who most thought weaker than themselves. He wished for a quiet life. He had thought that life would be with Raven, but he was wrong. Thinking on it, he knew all along that it wasn’t going to happen. It was a pipe dream. Raven had never been into him that way. She had been his friend and nothing more. No, that wasn’t true. He had also been her family. They’d had each other when they’d had no one else. Both of their families hadn’t been good to them, but Raven’s upbringing had been especially harsh. Her mother was a drunk, and often traded her daughter’s rations for bootlegged booze. As an alpha, Raven had at least been allowed to get a superior education, and it was her determination and smarts that got her so far. 

Finn hadn’t been as fortunate. He was an alpha, but his parents were janitors, and that meant he was destined to be one as well. It wasn’t easy climbing the echelons of the Ark. It would have been a hard life. Meeting Raven had been one of the few highlights of his life. He realized that he didn’t want to squander the relationship he had with her by being jealous of something he would never have. He needed to have a different outlook on life.

He looked up when Murphy swatted at his shoulder. “Look over there. Those four haven’t take their eyes off us.”

There were several women walking alongside the gona. It was clear that they were not warriors. He wondered who they were.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Clarke had walked up to him and Murphy.

Murphy grinned. He’d never had a beef with Clarke before, but after seeing what she could do, and just how strong she was, he had gained a huge amount of respect for the omega. “He’s feeling sorry for himself.”

Clarke looked at Finn. “Why?” She knew why.

“He’s lost the love of his life to the second strongest alpha on the planet.” Murphy squinched up his face. “That’s gotta hurt.”

“Knock it off,” Finn grumped. “I had a crush. That’s it.”

Clarke didn’t really know Finn. He’d mostly always been nice to her, not like a lot of the other delinquents, but he’d also not paid much attention to her. Not after he’d made a drunken advance on her which Bellamy squashed right away. 

Clarke’s lip quirked up. Bellamy had been such a surprise to her. He’d been gruff and authoritative (not in a good way) when they had first landed, but he and Clarke had quickly struck up a friendship, and between them, they had been able to keep most of the delinquents from dying.

She patted Finn’s back and looked to the side. “Those three look interested. I could introduce. I met them yesterday.”

Bellamy, who overheard, rushed over to join them. 

When they got to the women, Murphy was uncharacteristically shy. He was staring at a girl with deeply tanned skin who had long dark hair and a tattoo on her face. She was really quite striking. Bellamy on the other hand couldn’t take his eyes off a long-haired blonde. They had locked eyes and seemed to be having their first conversation without even saying a word.

Clarke chuckled to herself. “Bellamy, Murphy, and Finn, I would like you to meet Emori, Niylah, and Echo.” Luna, who had been walking with the group, had stepped aside, clearly not wanting to be a part of the introductions.

Like Clarke’s first impression of Bellamy, Luna had also been a surprise to her. Luna had arrived in Polis with extraordinarily little fanfare. For an alpha, she was quiet and subdued, and even though she was the leader of Floukru, very few people noticed her. She carried herself with a quiet grace that belied her clear strength. 

Upon her arrival, she had been introduced to Clarke, and had greeted her warmly, but then she had immediately requested a private meeting with Heda which had lasted for hours. It had made the omega nervous for her mate to be gone from her side for so long with a woman she had only just met. From what Lexa had told her, Luna was strong, perhaps even stronger than Heda, and that made Clarke uneasy. Lexa had admitted that had Luna not run away from the Conclave there was a good chance that she would have defeated Lexa to become Commander.

Clarke hadn’t liked leaving her wife alone with the strong alpha, no matter how subdued Luna presented herself. Lexa had assured her that the alpha had denounced all violence and was not a threat, but how could Clarke be sure? Maybe Luna had only accepted the invitation to Polis so that she could challenge Heda and take over the throne.

Before Lexa could walk away with Luna, Clarke had growled and made a not so subtle threat to the Floukru alpha, declaring that if one hair on Lexa’s head was out of place when she got back that she would destroy the alpha. 

Luna had merely smiled. “The tales of Wanheda have already reached far strik (little) omega, even all the way to my hidden clan. From what I have heard, Wanheda is no one to trifle with,” like Roan had when first meeting Clarke, she reached forward and took Clarke’s hand, placing a gentle kiss upon it, “and I would expect nothing less from her were I to hurt her mate.” She let go of the omega’s hand and took Lexa’s within her own with a comfortableness and familiarity that Clarke really didn’t like. “I promise to bring your alpha back to you, whole and hearty.” With that she had led Lexa away.

In her chest, Clarke could feel Lexa’s amusement at her first interaction with Luna kom Floukru, and instead of upsetting the omega, it oddly helped to calm her a little. As the hours went on, however, her anxiety rose. Later, Lexa promised her that everything had gone well. They had spent most of their time reminiscing about the childhood they had spent together. They did not speak of the Conclave.

The boys, usually so self-assured, were all awkward and shy in front of the woman. Emori made the first move and started talking to them but had a clear interest in Murphy. After that, the others quickly paired off with Echo quickly becoming enamored with Bellamy and with Niylah talking off Finn’s ear. 

“Look at you playing matchmaker,” Raven said as she walked up. 

Clarke rolled her eyes. “I didn’t do anything. Those three have been eyeing up our young delinquents for the past half mile.”

“Who are they anyway?” Raven had surprisingly left Anya’s side. That hadn’t happened since the announcement of the pregnancy. She had been none too pleased when Lexa had informed her that her General would be not only accompanying them on this campaign, but that she would be helping with strategy and leading her men into battle. 

Raven had argued vehemently that it was ridiculous for her mate to lead, let alone attend, the fight when Indra, Lexa, and the others would be there. Anya had snarled and argued right back that her presence was necessary and that pregnant or not, she was still the General. She had a job to do, and she was going to do it. 

It had been Gaia who had calmed things down, speaking evenly and with reason to the two frustrated mates. Raven had not been happy, but she finally had to concede the fact that her mate was the General, and Anya could not be expected to shirk her responsibilities just because she was pregnant, especially since it was so early in the pregnancy. 

Lexa had done her best to assuage Raven’s fear by pulling her aside to inform her that Anya would have extra protection. Heda was assigning a special unit to the General. She simply hadn’t alerted Anya to that fact yet. 

Clarke had smiled then. Lexa was being subtle, and most wouldn’t notice, but she too had become extra protective of her General. The omega could see that the Commander always made sure to have Anya in her sights. Lexa couldn’t show it, lest it be construed as weakness or favoritism, but Clarke knew that her mate would do everything in her power to keep her friend safe. 

Clarke was also feeling protective of her fos (first/mentor), and, unlike Lexa, hadn’t tried to hide her behaviors at all. She’d even taken to riding her horse directly next to Anya. 

The General wasn’t stupid and had become increasingly surly with the unwanted attention. It was making her emotional, and her desire to hit something was becoming overwhelming. After an hour of complaining to Lexa that she needed to spar with someone, Heda had given in. The next time the army took a break, Lexa willingly went with Anya to a suitable field to help the other alpha blow off some steam.

Lexa watched as Raven and Clarke got distracted by their new friends. Echo was only riding with them because Roan was. She was his righthand man. As soon as Roan had been crowned, he had sent for the woman. She’d been at his side since the moment he had been banished, and Lexa figured she would have a prominent position in New Azgeda as Roan had taken to calling it, hoping by simply adding the small word to the old clan name, it would help the other clans see that Azgeda could and would change.

Niylah was a different story. She had offered to help cook for the army, but Lexa thought she might have ulterior motives. She often caught the beta looking at her wife, so she was happy that Clarke had introduced Niylah to Bellamy, Murphy, and Finn. She was surprised to see that Niylah did seem to have an interest in the floppy-haired boy. It was a good thing too, because if she had caught the woman looking at her mate one more time, Lexa might not have been able to control herself and might have ripped the beta’s head off.

Emori was a wanderer of sorts. Lexa was always aware of her presence when she was in Polis and elsewhere in the clans. Lexa knew her to be a thief. For some reason Emori had struck a chord with Lexa and the Commander tried to always ensure that good fortune befell the woman so that she wouldn’t be caught stealing. 

Lexa also had a soft spot for the woman because Emori was a frikdreina (someone born with a visible physical defect). Emori tried to hide her deformed hand by keeping it wrapped in a cloth, but Lexa knew what she was hiding.

Lexa had been working hard with the clans to make everyone equals, and it was working with how others, especially omegas, were being treated, but there was a huge amount of pushback when it came to frikdreinas. People not only saw individuals like Emori as weak, but they also feared them mostly because they were seen as different. The majority of people had a hard time looking past physical defects to see the person within. It was something Lexa needed to work harder on, and it was why, when she saw Emori looking hungry and desperate on the streets of Polis, she invited the woman to travel with the army. 

Emori had been enlisted to help with the cooking alongside Niylah. Several of the Commander’s gona grumped about her presence, but Lexa had let them know in no uncertain terms that if they wanted to eat, they would treat the woman with the respect she deserved.

It made her smile to see the three women so quickly pairing off with Clarke’s delinquent friends.

“Are you going to stare all day, or are we going to spar?” Anya’s frustration was bleeding through into her voice.

Lexa turned and smiled at her friend all while drawing her sword. That was all it took for Anya to draw hers and start swinging. They had already been at it for twenty minutes before Clarke noticed. She tried to keep Raven’s attention away from the sparring match, but when Lexa nicked her mate’s arm, one whiff of the air told Raven that her mate had been hurt. 

Raven howled and was sprinting to the field before Clarke could even react. The Skai alpha took one look at her mate, who had a miniscule cut on her arm, before whirling on Lexa and getting in her face. She was pumping out an impressive amount of aggressive pheromones that had both the warriors raising their eyebrows. They would never admit that their knees might have even wobbled a little bit while under Raven’s airborne chemical assault.

“Raven don’t,” Anya warned, but the sire was already consumed by a rage that she didn’t understand. All Raven knew was that her pregnant mate had been hurt, and Lexa had caused it. Raven’s fury-addled mind couldn’t let that stand.

Fortunately, this display had not yet caught a lot of attention, so Lexa let it play out. She sheathed her sword and took a step back, but Raven stepped with her and remained in her face. She shoved Lexa with one hand.

“You hurt my mate.” Raven was growling.

“Raven,” Lexa tried. “You need to calm down.”

“Don’t tell me what to do. You hurt my mate.” Raven shoved Lexa again, this time with both hands which forced the Commander to take a step back, and suddenly the field was being flooded with two alphas’ pheromones. It was making Anya ill. She was having a hard time staying on her feet, and Clarke, who had been coming up behind Lexa, was on her knees, not being able to withstand such an assault. The omega was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t even yell out for them to stop. The blonde thought about shifting, but she knew instinctively that she should not interfere.

“Raven, this is your last warning.” Lexa was starting to show the effects of facing off with Raven, who, as it turned out, was a much more powerful alpha than anyone realized, and sweat began to pour down her face.

Raven looked no better. She was sweating, but the crazed look from her sudden rage was still in her eyes. If Lexa didn’t get the other alpha under control soon, things would spiral out of control. It wasn’t uncommon for new sires to lose control when there was a perceived threat to their mate, but most alphas could regain control of themselves before anyone got hurt. It was clear that this wasn’t going to happen with Raven, and Lexa was realizing that it was going to take more than pheromones to get the mechanic to submit. 

What she was feeling coming off the enraged alpha was unlike anything she had ever felt before. The only other alpha she had ever encountered that was even close to as powerful as Raven was Anya. The General had an edge on her mate, but not much. Lexa was certain not even Raven realized just how powerful she was.

For one second, Lexa took her eyes off the dark-haired woman and looked at her fos. Anya was struggling to stay on her feet under the influence of two strong alphas’ pheromones. She looked ill at the same time as angry, hurt, confused, and proud. 

“Em pleni,” Lexa roared, and hit Raven with everything she had. Raven stumbled but held her ground. 

“You hurt my mate,” the alpha cried out again, fists balled at her sides and ready to strike. It seemed that was all Raven was able to say.

Behind Raven, Anya was barely able to squeak out, “Strik sora, it’s only just a scratch, and look at what you are doing.” It was a struggle, but she pointed at Clarke once she had Raven’s attention.

Seeing the omega on her knees, with her fingers clutching at the soggy grass and with a drop of blood leaking from her nose had both alphas immediately letting up on their powerplays. 

Raven dropped to her knees. “Oh god. I’m sorry. What have I done? I’m sorry.” She started sobbing. The fury that had overtaken her had completely consumed her, and she didn’t know what she was doing. All she knew was that Anya had been hurt and it was Lexa’s fault. In her rage, she hadn’t been able to assess the fact that it was only a scratch on her mate’s arm and nothing life-threatening. All she knew is that she needed to confront and hurt the person responsible even if it had been an accident.

Anya moved to step toward them, but Lexa held up a hand halting the pregnant alpha. The Commander gestured to Clarke, and the General immediately moved to help the omega off the ground.

Lexa tugged at Raven’s collar, and none to gently, forced her to her feet. Heda kept a tight hand around the mechanic’s bicep as she forced her to follow into the woods.

Clarke could only watch. Anya helped her to her feet and used a cloth to wipe the blood from the omega’s nose.

“What was that?” Clarke gasped, still in shock over what had just happened. The raw power coming off Lexa and Raven had been astonishing, like nothing she had ever experienced before.

“Sire haknes (sire sickness),” Anya said with a voice that held an almost imperceptible tremble, “although haknes isn’t really the right word for it.”

“Yeah, but what does that mean?” Clarke didn’t understand.

“When one becomes a sire, the instinct to protect one’s mate amplifies, sometimes to unhealthy levels. It becomes so strong that any perceived threat can set off the sire until the sire believes that the threat has been neutralized. Most people can get it under control unless the danger is truly life-threatening.”

“Why was Raven’s reaction so strong? I know she realizes that threatening Lexa that way could have dire consequences. She’s not a fool. She would never attack the Commander over a little scratch.” Clarke was at a loss, and she was scared for her friend. Despite having been forced to her knees by the combined pheromones of the two alphas, she couldn’t hold it against them. She only wanted to know why her friend reacted the way she did.

Anya had to take a minute to regain her bearings. She was a strong alpha, but the combined effects of the double assault had her feeling queasy. Even she wasn’t immune to such powerful pheromones. Indra, who had witnessed the entire encounter walked over and handed Anya and Clarke cups of water.

“Mochof, Indra.” Anya thanked her. She was about to speak when Indra beat her to it.

“I believe what you just observed was your friend realizing her true potential. There are only two people that I know of that could withstand a display of dominance that powerful, and that is your mate and your fos,” Indra informed Clarke. 

“But Raven isn’t that strong an alpha,” the omega protested.

Anya was rubbing her temple. She now had a splitting headache and wanted to sit down, but she would not show weakness in front of Wanheda or the Wormana (War Chief). 

“It’s rare,” Indra continued, “but sometimes alphas don’t realize their full potential until there is an event that forces them to. Because Lexa cut her mate’s arm, Raven saw Heda as a threat, and the only way she would ever be able to deal with a threat such as Lexa would be to gain dominance over her. If it were any other alpha other than Lexa, it would have worked. Even from fifty feet away, I could feel her power, and I could see how it was affecting Anya.”

Indra turned to the General. “You have one powerful mate. I would guess she’s almost as powerful as you, lukot (friend).”

Clarke was still confused. “If she’s so powerful, why didn’t we know that before?”

“She has told me of her harsh upbringing on the Ark,” Anya said, still digging her fingertips into her head. “She was underfed and mistreated by her mother. Such treatment can lead to a repression of one’s own power. It was squashed before it had a chance to develop. Sometimes a person will never realize their full potential unless something happens to make them lose control, and then their latent strength comes out.”

Clarke was blown away by this new information. She had never considered Raven a weak alpha, not by any means, but she never expected her friend to be nearly as powerful as Anya and Lexa.

“You do realize that if she walks away from this that you are never going to hear the end of it,” Clarke gave Anya a weak smile. “She’s, what, the third most powerful alpha on the planet now?”

Anya rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face. She was proud to have such a strong mate, even if challenging Heda had been the stupidest thing her mate could have done.

“Do you think Raven will make it out of those woods alive?” Indra hip checked the alpha, teasing her.

“I hope so, I don’t want to be a single nomon.” She was serious.

Raven was still sniffling as Lexa dragged her into the woods, certain that she was going to be killed and shoved under a log where no one would find her. 

What had she been thinking attacking the Commander of the 12 clans? 

That was the problem, she hadn’t been thinking. She’d sensed that her mate had been hurt, and she had lost control. She’d pushed the Commander, and now she was a dead woman. She just knew it.

Lexa walked her over to a fallen tree and shoved Raven to it, forcing her to sit. Raven slumped over and started sobbing again, trying to hide her face in her hands.

She flinched when Lexa sat next to her and put a hand on her knee.

“Are you going to punish me now?” Raven stammered out. She didn’t look up.

“Raven, look at me.” It was a command.

Lost brown eyes found Heda’s face. 

“Do you know what just happened to you?” Lexa asked calmly.

Raven shook her head. “No. All I know is that Anya was hurt, and I saw red.”

Lexa wasn’t familiar with the phrase, but she understood what Raven meant. “You do know that to attack the Commander carries a sentence of death.”

A new round of sobs wracked Raven’s body. “Yes.” She sounded resigned. “Please make sure Anya is taken care of. She deserves so much in this life, and all I want is for her and the pup to be happy and taken care of.”

Lexa shoved Raven off the log. “I am not going to kill you, branwoda (fool).”

“Wh-why not?” Raven stammered.

“First because you are my friend Raven kom Trikru.”

“Trikru?” Raven asked with wide eyes.

“Sha (yes), you are mated to my General. You are Trikru now. So is Clarke.”

“What’s the second reason?” Raven couldn’t help her curiosity.

“The second reason is that you lost reason. What happened to you is something we call sire haknes. Sire sickness.”

“Sire sickness,” Raven repeated. “That’s a real thing?”

“It is, and for that you will be forgiven, but if it happens again, I won’t be able to save you, strik sora.” Lexa gave her a serious look. “You are a powerful alpha, Raven, it is no wonder you lost control the first time your pregnant mate got hurt.”

Raven shook her head in denial. “I’m not that strong.”

Lexa gave the other alpha a knowing smile. “Did you not feel the power coming off you?”

“No, not really. I wasn’t aware of anything except the fact that you hurt Anya. I saw you as a threat.”

“Between us we practically flattened Clarke, for which we will both apologize and dote on her until I feel we have both made up for it, and your power was even felt by your mate. We will be apologizing to her too, although she’s not going to appreciate it much when we smother her with the attention she deserves.”

Raven gave a wet chuckle. “No, she’s not going to like that. I still don’t know why you think I am powerful. I am not.”

Lexa was surprised. Surely Raven had felt the strength she’d had bottled up inside her. “Let me tell you that except for Anya’s, I have never felt anything like what I felt coming off you today.”

“I…that means I am stronger than all those fuckers from the Ark.” Raven said in amazement. “If I am almost as strong as Anya that means I am one of the strongest alphas on the planet.”

Lexa’s fist flashed out and smashed into Raven’s nose, surprising the alpha and causing blood to spurt everywhere wiping the cocky grin of the other alpha’s face. 

Raven’s hand flew up to her nose. “Waff th hell, Letha?” 

“That is to make sure you don’t let this newfound information go to your head.” Her fist caught Raven unaware again, blackening the poor alpha’s left eye immediately. “And that is for the attacking me.” The girl toppled to the ground. Lexa was there instantly to help her up.

Lexa arched an eyebrow at her. “You know that I cannot allow you to return to camp looking unscathed. Just because you didn’t meet with death at my hands does not mean you were not going to be punished.”

Raven wobbled on her feet then crashed to her knees when Heda used the full force of her pheromones on her. “We are friends, Raven, but I am still your Heda.” The alpha on the ground was tipping her head in submission.

“Attack me again, and I will be forced to end you. I do not wish to do that Raven kom Trikru.”

Raven couldn’t move. Lexa’s dominance over her was absolute, and she finally understood how Heda had gained the respect of all her people. Heda was sheer power, but until today, Raven had never felt it before. If Lexa had wanted, she could have taken the 12 clans by force, with pheromones alone, but she didn’t. She worked to bring people together, not like on the Ark where strength and dominance were used to take advantage of those who could not protect themselves.

When Lexa finally let up, Raven almost fell over, but Lexa caught her before she could hit the ground. She even assisted her to her feet.

“You do understand that you have gotten off easy today.” Lexa said as they made their way back to the others. “Had there been more witnesses to your actions, the outcome to this would have been very different. I would not have been able to save you, Raven. Remember that if you ever decide to attack me again.”

Raven held up her blood-covered hands. Her nose was still bleeding heavily. “It won’t happen again, I swear it, Heda.”

“Good, because Anya and I have to train daily, and that means that sometimes we give each other minor injuries. You cannot lose yourself every time your mate gets hurt. She is my General. She needs to be battle ready, even if she is carrying your pup.”

“I know, Heda. It won’t happen again, ai swega kiln (I promise).”

Lexa smiled. “Anya has been teaching you our language.”

Raven cackled even as blood dripped from her chin. “You’d be surprised how much you can pick up when you are having the hottest sex of your life. I’m so good, your General forgets how to speak gonasleng (English).”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raven, Raven, Raven. The things she gets herself into. 
> 
> Oh, and let me explain my rationale for getting Finn and Niylah together. They are two characters that I never did care for much and certainly didn't like with Clarke, so what better way to get them out of the way than by getting them together. At first it made me cringe, but I'm over it now.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there.
> 
> I want to thank each and every one of you who is still reading this story. It's so much longer than I ever anticipated it would be. I am trying my hand at writing a shorter story. I had promised not to start another story before this one was completed, but it wouldn't leave me alone until I started to write it. If I can control myself, I am not going to post it until it is complete. Yeah, I doubt that will happen. If nothing else, I won't start posting it until this one is done. 
> 
> I would also like to thank all of you who continue to comment on this story. I helps to keep me motivated, especially when chapters like the last one beat me up. This chapter was a friendly one and didn't give me any difficulty. Thank goodness for that.
> 
> Stay safe out there. Things are heating up again.

Chapter 35

Clarke and Anya ran over as soon as Raven and Lexa breached the woods. They both wore matching looks of horror when they saw the condition of Raven’s face.

Anya wanted to sweep her mate into her arms and take care of her injuries, but there were too many witnesses, and no matter how much things were changing, Anya could not care for her mate the way she wanted to with so many of her gonas looking on, nor could she bark at the Commander for hitting her wife, not that she expected anything less, in fact, she was expecting worse. Clarke had no qualms about fussing over the bloodied alpha, and she turned to give Lexa a piece of her mind when Raven stopped her.

“Don’t Wolf Girl. I got off lucky, Clarke. I know that, and a broken nose is nothing that Abby or Nyko can’t fix.” Raven turned to look at her mate and then back to Clarke. “I need to apologize to both of you. I lost control, and the two of you suffered because of it. I didn’t realize…I didn’t know that I had it in me to do that. I’m not a violent person.” She was getting teary-eyed again, but swiped at her face, not allowing any tears to fall, but smearing more blood across her face in the process. 

“We know that ai skaifaya (my star).” Anya spoke softly. She couldn’t help herself and finally pulled her mate into a loving embrace. Her need to touch and reassure her mate beat out her need to keep up appearances in front of her men. “And you did it for me. I’ve never had a protector before. You honor me, Raven kom Trikru, and I know our pup will be proud of you.”

“Niron. Anya.” Lexa spoke up. “I need to apologize as well. My actions, along with Raven’s, brought both of you pain, and we intend to make that up to you.”

Lexa started barking out orders to her men. They would make camp for the night and continue to TonDc in the morning. 

Anya moved to start helping, but Lexa stopped her. “No, ai lukot (my friend), not this time. You and Clarke are going to go see the fisa to make sure you are both okay. Raven and I will set up the tents, and then I am going to show Raven how to catch your dinner. We will be hunting for our mates tonight, and after you are both feeling better and are well fed, then the real pampering will begin.”

“What about my nose?” Raven complained.

Once again, Lexa’s hands flashed out, and before anyone could react, there was a sickening crunch. She had reset Raven’s nose, and a new gush of blood poured forth. 

Lexa clapped the bloodied alpha on the back. “It’s all good now.”

Raven could only stare on with wide eyes as she held both hands to her nose. It was almost as if the others could see the mechanic’s eyes blackening as they watched. Clarke couldn’t help it and teased that she looked like a raccoon.

“Uh uh. Nope, that title goes to your wife. She’s the one that looks like a raccoon when she has her warpaint on. It’s frightening and adorable all at the same time.” Raven was being surprisingly good-natured about all of this.

Lexa growled, threatening to rebreak Raven’s nose. “I am not adorable.”

Anya walked with Clarke to the healer’s tent. “You’ve changed her, you know.”

“Lexa?” 

Anya rolled her eyes. “Yes, Lexa. If that had happened before you fell from the sky, my mate would be dead now.” Anya couldn’t help the quake that coursed through her body at the thought. “She wouldn’t have hesitated to kill anyone who attacked her, even someone lost in sire haknes (sire sickness) like Raven was.”

Clarke didn’t like to think of that. It was a side of Lexa that she didn’t know, and quite frankly, it was one she didn’t want to know. Her alpha, who had already changed so much since she met her, so often had to walk the knife’s edge. Lexa had to be strong to keep the Coalition together, but she also needed to show that she had compassion for her people, and she did. The Commander had so much compassion and love for her people that she knew it broke Lexa a little bit every time she had to use her strength, her dominance, to get the outcomes she desired.

“She’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?” Clarke stated.

“She is, but don’t start getting mushy on me now. I want the healer to give me something for this headache, and then I want to watch as our mates fuss over us.”

Clarke chortled. “I thought you hated being fussed over.”

Anya touched her abdomen. “Lexa is not the only one to have changed because of the appearance of a sky person in their life. Besides, I can’t think of a single time that I haven’t had to help set up camp, and I can’t tell you how much I hate pitching tents. I am going to enjoy this while I can.”

Anya and Clarke were sitting around the fire Raven and Lexa had built for them. The other two alphas had even procured a pillow for Anya to lean against. They had gotten one for Clarke as well, but the omega had insisted that Anya use it. 

Some of the gona had started to tease their General, but one growl from Anya had them scampering away to take care of their own duties.

Anya reached for another piece of meat. “Do you want more, Clarke?”

The omega groaned. “No, I can’t eat anything else.” 

Everyone raised their eyebrows at this. Clarke had been an empty pit lately.

“Are you sure, hodnes?” It wasn’t like Clarke to stop eating.

Raven looked up from her piece of meat. “She did practically eat half a deer all on her own. Surely she’s full by now.”

As luck would have it, after some instruction from Lexa, Raven had been able to take down a deer, and the pride radiating off the Skai alpha was palpable. It had taken some time, but Lexa even taught the woman how to dress the kill, and then how to cook the best cuts of meat for Anya and Clarke. 

Raven and Lexa had refused to even start eating until their mates had gotten their fill of the feast provided to them, making sure their plates and cups were full at all times, and making sure their mates were comfortable.

The four of them talked and joked with one another, but it was watching the three Sky boys trying to woo the new women in their lives that brought them the most amusement.

Bellamy and Murphy seemed to be succeeding, but Finn was having a harder time. The poor kid had dropped the plate of food he had gotten for Niylah, and then he spilled a drink on her. Unexpectedly, Niylah took all this in stride. She got up and filled a plate for him and started explaining what everything was to him, giving him the words first in Trigedesleng and then in English. 

Clarke couldn’t decide what she thought of this. Bellamy, of course, she was happy for. The woman, Echo, seemed rather smitten with the blonde’s beta friend. The omega had laughed when Roan had walked over to speak with Echo. Bellamy had looked so frightened of the imposing man that he looked like he was going to run away, but Echo had possessively put a hand on the beta’s knee, and Roan, who gave them a devious smile, left them alone.

Murphy seemed to be getting on perfectly with Emori. Having never seen him smile before, it seemed he hadn’t stopped since he met the girl. Clarke had always had the feeling that Murphy would do whatever it took to survive, including siding with the enemy, but she was figuring out that maybe she was wrong about that. 

She couldn’t decide how she felt about Finn. He was handsome in a boyish, flirty way, and before she had met Lexa, she might have liked that sort of thing, but watching him with Niylah, she couldn’t decide if his behavior was genuine or not. It seemed like an act. There was something about him that she just didn’t trust. 

She was about to ask Anya about what she thought about him when the sound of thundering hooves could be heard in the distance.

Lexa and Anya were on their feet in an instant. They were not expecting any scouts or messengers. 

“Who is it?” Clarke questioned.

Raven was squinting, trying to get a good look. “I think it’s Octavia.”

“The other rider is Lincoln,” Indra added.

The two riders were so exhausted that Indra and Gustus had to catch them as they dismounted. Both of them looked haggard, but there was something distinctly wrong with Lincoln.

It only took one look for Clarke to understand what had happened; Lincoln had been chipped. There was a lost look in his eyes, and she could feel the sadness rolling off him. What was missing was his mild beta scent. It was clear he was in mental turmoil, and he should have reeked of sour distress pheromones, but they were absent as well. The only scent Clarke could detect on him was sweat and dirt.

A look at the others told Clarke that they also knew what had happened.

After making sure Octavia and Lincoln had eaten, Lexa had everyone convene in her war tent. 

“Tell me how this happened,” Lexa commanded. 

Lincoln was sitting and too distressed to speak. Everyone else was too agitated to sit.

“Heda, Jaha has lost it. When I first arrived back in Arkadia, he had an unhealthy obsession with your mate.” The young alpha looked at Clarke. “Since that woman, Ontari, arrived, his behavior has gotten worse. I don’t know what she has done, but somehow, she has gotten to him, and it’s almost as if she is running the show now, except she’s doing it through him, and between them they are trying to prove that the stories about Wanheda are a lie. He keeps going on about how omegas are weak and need to be controlled for their own good, and he’s telling lies about the Commander and the clans, calling everyone primitive savages.”

Lexa, Anya, and several of the others were growling lowly. Clarke was growling as well, and she was itching to change forms and crash through the gates of Arkadia. She would like nothing better than to crush the man between her jaws, but beneath her anger, there was an underlying fear.

Clarke kept stealing glances at Lincoln. He was pale with a faraway look in his eyes. She knew what it felt like to be a husk, and that is what he looked like now, a husk of the man he once was.

She lifted her head as she thought about what had been done to the gentle grounder. “Why would Ontari stand by and let Jaha speak that way about the omegas? She’s an omega.”

Octavia whirled on her, and Lincoln finally lifted his head. “No way,” Octavia said, startled. “There is no way that woman is an omega.”

“It’s true.” Roan, who was standing near the flap of the tent with Echo at his side, reported. “My mother trained her since she was a small pup.”

“More like tortured,” Echo interrupted.

“Yes, more like tortured,” Roan went on. “I don’t know how my mother would have achieved it, but somehow she’s taught Ontari to mask her scent. Based on what Wanheda has told me, she can do this at will. She used her scent against Lexa and Clarke in the forest after my mother’s challenge, but then was able to hide it from them after the snowstorm. I have to say, it’s an effective weapon.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Why would Ontari let Jaha speak that way about omegas when she is one?”

“Because she is batshit crazy.” Raven said.

“No, I don’t think that’s it.” Luna said from her corner of the tent. She walked forward and sat in the chair next to Lincoln. She put a hand on his knee and sent out waves of comforting pheromones. It helped ease everyone’s anxiety, but the Floukru leader frowned when it didn’t appear to help Lincoln.

“Then what do you think it is?” Lexa asked, trying to remain calm. 

“Certainly, I agree that Ontari has lasting psychological damage from the treatment she received…”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Raven disrupted.

Luna gave the Skai alpha an unreadable look before going on. “…but it is also clear that the Azgeda nightblood is extremely clever. I think she is using those around her as pawns. Take Quint, for instance. She could have gone with him to attack Heda and Wanheda when they retreated back to their cave after the blizzard, but she sent him alone. She used him to assess our Hedas’ strengths and weaknesses. She also didn’t care if he lived or died.” She looked directly at Clarke. “Your senses may be enhanced, but she would have already figured that out when she took you on the wild goose chase through the woods, and knowing this, she would have sent Quint to the cave to try and figure out what else the two of you would do. Being able to hide her scent, she knew that she could hide and remained undetected.”

Clarke shuddered. She had been sure that Ontari was nowhere near the cave when they had trapped Quint under the branches. Now she wasn’t so sure. Knowing that she could have been nearby left her feeling deeply unsettled because if the omega was that good at hiding herself, it meant that she could have been following them on their return trips to TonDC and then Polis, and, if she was that good at hiding herself, it also meant that she could have killed her or Lexa at any time on their trek back through the snow.

She found green eyes staring at her. It was as if Lexa was reading her mind. “She was not following us, Klark. No one is that good at hiding themselves, and between the two of us, I know we would have detected her.”

Clarke wasn’t feeling so sure. Lexa pulled her into an embrace, not caring that the others were watching. “There is a reason I am Heda. Ontari may have been torture trained to hide herself, but I have been training all my life as well. I am no slouch when it comes to detecting those who may be following me.”

“It’s true,” Luna assured. “Not once was I, nor were any of the other natblidas, ever able to hide from Heda during out training exercises. Still…”

“I knew our little Lexie was a ninja.” Raven grinned at Heda, double black eyes shining with mischief.

Lexa scowled. “The next person to call me Lexie is going to disappear, and no one will ever find the body.”

Anya and Roan grinned. Clarke still hadn’t gotten the story out of how they all knew each other. There hadn’t been enough time. They were obviously fond of each other. When things calmed down, she was going to get the story out of one of them, one way or another.

Luna’s words and the gentle teasing of her mate by the others helped Clarke relax a little bit. “Fine, so we know she is smart, but why wouldn’t she take offense at Jaha’s words. I think we all know she could easily kill all of the Arkers if she wanted to.”

“Indeed.” The curly redhead agreed. “I am sure she could, but where’s the fun in that? I think she is going to use them to get to you. That will clear the path for her to get to Heda.”

Clarke dug her fingers into the wood of the table they were all standing at, getting upset all over again. Once more, she was longing to change and run to Arkadia. She wanted to rip Jaha apart, but Ontari she wanted to crush between her teeth, slowly. No one threatened her mate.

“Your claws are starting to show, strik pakstoka,” Indra gently chided, and Clarke immediately balled her hands into fists and hid them in her lap. Unable to control herself, she swept her arm out sending all the maps on the table floating to the floor.

“Fuck this. If Jaha and Ontari want me…us…so badly then I say we give them what they want. I am tired of waiting, I am tired of being afraid, and I am tired of not being able to live the life I want to live.” She looked at her wife. “Let me go in there. Jaha still thinks I am chipped, and Ontari doesn’t seem to have told him that I am not. Let me play the meek little pseudo omega that he thinks I am. Let him think I am running back to Arkadia because I can’t hack it with my mate. Let me get in there, and when I do, I can rip him to shreds.” Clarke was starting to pace.

“Clarke, you aren’t thinking straight,” Octavia moved to stand next to her and stopped her motion with a hand on her forearm. “When you sent me back to spy on Jaha and the others, you were right, I was nothing to them. I blended in without being seen. I was able to watch, unobserved as Jaha spiraled out of control. He’s going crazy, Clarke, and at first, that’s all it seemed like. He’s fixated on you, but he hadn’t made any plans. His were the mutterings of a man with an obsession. Even his lackeys like Shumway and Sidney were beginning to lose faith in his ability to lead. Diana was even planning a coup to overthrow the man, but then the one you call Ontari showed up. 

At first, they treated her like any other grounder, but somehow, she convinced Jaha that she needed to speak to him alone. It was two hours before anyone saw them again, and when they resurfaced, it was as if Jaha were a different person.

He was focused, and his rantings stopped. He went back to his old message that all grounders were savages and needed to be dealt with. He spoke about how if Arkadia didn’t rise up it would be squashed under the boots of the Commander. He rallied the others to his side and called for the vote. All the while Marcus Kane was trying to keep things calm, and it was working until Jaha told everyone that he had a way to neutralize the grounders. At the time, they had six grounders in captivity, one beta, three omegas, and two alphas. Lincoln made up the seventh, but he wasn’t a captive at the time. Jaha rounded them all up and made of big deal of showing everyone the chip. He forced the grounders to their knees by holding them at gunpoint and then he forcefully shoved those fucking chips down their throats.”

Octavia looked up at Clarke. She had tears in her eyes. She then looked over at Lincoln who seemed lost in his own thoughts, barely aware of what was going on around him. “We all watched as the light left their eyes, and…and suddenly I couldn’t scent my mate anymore. We watched as it seemed that each of those people died on the inside.”

Her tears were running freely. She went and sat next to her mate (which was a surprise to everyone because no one knew that they had had gotten mated), and she took his hand.

“It was the most horrible thing I have ever witnessed, but the people, most of them cheered as they watched the very essence of the grounder prisoners and Lincoln leave. It was almost like you could see it. After that, Jaha won the vote by a landslide.”

Clarke was trembling. She knew exactly what it felt like to have the very core of who you are ripped out. She moved to kneel in front of Lincoln so that she was at eye level with him.

“It’s not permanent. Jaha did the same thing to me, but I got myself back. The way Lexa went about helping me may have been a bit unorthodox, but she helped me, and I know that we will be able to help you and the others.”

“Clarke,” Lexa hissed. She pulled her mate aside. “We don’t know if that will work for everyone.”

Watery blue eyes stared at the Commander. “It has to,” Clarke said desperately. “I know what it feels like, and…and…”

“Shh, niron. I know.” Lexa said. “We will do whatever is needed. We will find a way.”

Luna who had been standing nearby looked at Lincoln and then at Clarke. “I think I, along with a few in my clan, will be able to help, but it would require those that have been affected to come to Floukru.”

Lexa nodded. “Your help would be greatly appreciated.”

The remaining waking hours of the day were spent planning how to take down Jaha and Ontari, along with the others, without more people getting chipped. The next morning, they would march to TonDc and then to Arkadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things should be speeding up from this point on. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost didn't get to post today. The area I live in got blasted with a powerful storm last night, and we lost power for far longer than was comfortable, especially since we couldn't get out generator to play nice. 
> 
> Thankfully the wonderful men and woman who work so hard to keep all of us in the light got us up and running again, and the power was only out for about 21 hours. Long enough, but not as long as it will be for the areas surrounding me where they might not have power for another 2-4 days.
> 
> It was a reminder of all we take for granted in this life, and it was also a reminder of the amazing luxuries we have, like electric power, computers, and cell phones. 2020 may have thrown far too many curve balls at us, but we still have so much to be grateful for. Technology is one of those things, but last night, while I sat playing board games with my family in the candle light, I realized that its the people in our lives that are the most important. Sometimes it takes a storm and a power outage to remind us of that.

Chapter 36

Clarke woke up early the next morning. Lexa, who was notorious for rising early, was still sound asleep. It was still dark outside and there were few sounds being made around the camp.

She watched the rise and fall of Lexa’s chest as she softly snored in her sleep. She leaned in and took in the rich alpha scent that Lexa exuded even as she slept. She longed to snuggle into her sleeping mate, but she also felt itchy and hot and had an almost unbearable longing to run through the woods. It was odd, she’d never really had such a feeling before, where she deliberately wanted to transform purely for the pleasure of it.

She looked at her slumbering mate. Lexa was going to kill her, but she got out of bed anyway. She silently crept over to where her armor was neatly piled and put it on piece by piece. Once dressed, she found a slip of paper and wrote a note to her mate stating she would be back in an hour or two, well before they would break camp to march to the blockade around Arkadia. 

She wasn’t so stupid as to go for a run alone. She found Ryder and Stryker, waking the poor guards, and then she walked over to Murphy who was inexplicably awake at the early hour. He was sitting by a fire, using the light to read a well-worn copy of White Fang by Jack London.

Clarke plopped herself on the log Murphy was sitting on, startling the beta so badly that he almost dropped his book in the flames. 

“What the hell, Clarke?”

She cocked an eyebrow at her. “Any reason you are reading that particular book? If I remember correctly that poor wolf was pitted against other dogs and animals in a fighting ring of sorts. It’s a horribly gruesome tale.”

Murphy smirked but held his book possessively. “Yeah, but in the end the poor thing is given the name Blessed Wolf because it saves an important person from being killed. The book ends happily with the wolf basking in the sun with its pups.”

“Are you trying to parallel it with my life?” Clarke asked seriously.

Murphy chuckled. “Not at all. It’s a total coincidence. I stole this book from the library on the Ark and was able to smuggle it into the Skybox with me. I still can’t believe the guards never found it. It might be the only book from the Ark to survive. Now all we have are digital copies of books in electronic files. It’s not the same.” He sniffed at the pages of the book and smiled. “It’s one of my only possessions, and it’s more important to me than just about anything.” He carefully marked his page with a leaf he picked up from the ground. “So why are you up so early?”

“I have a need to go running. Want to come?” She gave him a sly smile.

“Yeah, that’s a hard pass. I don’t do the whole exercise thing.”

“I don’t mean I want you to run with me. Ryder and Stryker will be on their horses running beside me. I meant how would you like a ride on the great Wanheda?”

Murphy, always suspicious, narrowed his eyes. “Why me?”

Clarke shifted her position on the log. “Honestly, because I like you. You were one of only a handful of people who were nice to me when we hit the ground, but if you don’t want to, that’s okay.”

Murphy shoved his book in a pocket and stood. “I want to, and for the record, I thought how everyone treated you really sucked. You didn’t deserve everything that has happened to you.” Until recently, he may have held the same Ark beliefs that omegas were weak, but at least he never agreed to how they were treated.

Clarke was surprised by this confession. “Thanks. That means a lot. Let’s go met up with my guards. You’re in for the ride of a lifetime.”

Clarke ran for an hour straight, so long that her guards’ horses were frothing at the mouth. Once or twice, she sprinted ahead of them, but for the most part, she made sure that they could keep up. All through the run, she could feel the joy rolling off her passenger. Murphy whooped and hollered, and more than once he leaned over to thank the omega for letting him be a part of her morning activity. When they finally got back to camp, the blonde felt lighter than she had in a long time, and she was fairly certain that Murphy, Ryder, and Stryker felt that same way. 

She had just shifted back when she spotted Lexa standing in the opening of their tent. She was wearing all her Commander finery and a look that would scare even the strongest gona (warrior). Anger slipped its claws into the omega, but it was not hers, it was Lexa’s. 

For a split second she started to bow her head, knowing that she shouldn’t have run off, but then she squared off her shoulders and held her head high. She was Wanheda, and she could and would run in the forest if she wanted to. 

Under the ire-filled glare of her wife, Clarke walked past Lexa and into their tent. In record time, she stripped out of her armor and stood naked before her mate. She purposefully stood with her legs wide apart and her hands on her hips. “Something you want to say, Lex?” She flooded the room with omega pheromones effectively short-circuiting the alpha’s brain.

She watched, with interest, as Lexa’s stance softened, and lust filled her eyes. Clarke made a mental note to use the same technique the next time she made her mate angry. Was it fair? No, definitely not, but the omega would use any weapon in her arsenal to avoid a fight with her wife. It was never her intention to make her mate angry. She had simply wanted to run, and she didn’t want her to wake her mate who desperately needed her sleep.

She moved in close so that she could thrust her arms under Lexa’s duster and hold her tight. “Before you say anything, I was safe the entire time. Ryder and Stryker were with me, and I made sure not to outrun them. We stayed close to camp. I wasn’t in any danger, I promise.”

“Clarke you could have been hurt. What if Ontari had been lurking out there? You should have woken me. I would have gone with you.” Lexa buried her nose in Clarke’s hair. “It scared me when I woke up and you were gone.”

Clarke could tell that Lexa was trying not to be angry. If anything, it was hurt that she was feeling from her mate now.

“Didn’t you see my note?” The omega queried.

“I did, but still. You should have at least woken me.” Lexa huffed.

“You wouldn’t have let me go, or you would have wanted to come with me.”

Lexa huffed again and stepped away from her mate. “Of course, I would have wanted to go with you, but it’s obvious you didn’t want me to.” 

Lexa was pouting, and it threw Clarke for a loop. She had never seen her alpha pout before. She pulled Lexa back to her. Her heart constricted in her chest. “That’s not it at all. You have been so stressed, and we were up so late last night, long after I fell asleep. I wanted to let you sleep. If you had gone with me, I know we would have gotten a late start because you have more important things to do than run with me when the urge arises.”

“There is nothing more important to me than you,” Lexa said emphatically flapping her arms at her side.

“I’m sorry, niron.” Clarke pulled her alpha to her again. “I promise I won’t do something like that again, however, you need to realize that sometimes we are going to need to do things apart from each other. We can’t always be together, as much as I wish we could keep it that way.”

Lexa rested her forehead on Clarke’s shoulder. “I know, sweetheart.” She tried the endearment and shook her head. It didn’t feel right. Clarke was her niron, her hodnes, and her tombom. Sweetheart didn’t quite roll off her tongue the right way, but she sure did like it when Clarke said it to her. “It doesn’t mean I have to like it,” she finally conceded. “You could have the entire army at your back, and I would still worry about you.”

“I know, just as I would you. Ai hod yu in.”

“I love you too, Klark.”

“Let me clean up, and then we can get some breakfast before we leave.” Clarke turned to move to the other side of the tent but yelped when a firm hand landed squarely on her backside. The sound of the smack reverberated through the tent. She whirled on her mate who was grinning.

“That is what you get for scaring me.” Lexa charged the omega and threw her naked lover over her shoulder causing Clarke to squeal. “Now you are going to make it up to me. I hope you still have some energy after your run because I plan to make your heart race all over again.”

When they stepped out of the tent, Clarke’s face was still flush. After Lexa had ravished her, she had returned the favor, twice, and the itchiness of her body returned. She ignored the sensation. She was certain she knew what it meant, but there was no way it could be possible. It was far too soon for her to be going into heat again.

She walked over to the fisa’s (healer’s) tent where Nyko was packing up his supplies. He lifted his head as he closed a jar of herbs. “Wanheda, what can I do for you?”

Clarke pushed a hand through her long hair. “I think I may need some suppressants. I think my heat is coming.” 

He frowned. “That would make it awfully early.” He rummaged through a few of the jars he had already packed. “Why do you think it is on its way?”

“My skin feels tight and itchy, and even though we were up late last night, I have energy to burn. I ran for miles this morning, and still I am not tired.”

After Nyko found what he was looking for, he handed a sealed jar to the omega. “Steep a spoonful of this in water and drink it no less than twice a day. It will hold off your heat for a least five days, but after that it will become less and less affective. You will need to send Heda to me. She needs to take her own suppressant because as soon as she detects your heat, her rut will start. With the days we have looming before us, we cannot have our leaders out of commission.”

Clarke found Lexa and sent her to Nyko. To say that Lexa was surprised was an understatement. She couldn’t yet detect her omega’s heat, but she decided that was a good thing. She went and got her own suppressants.

After that, they were on their way. It only took a few hours to get to the blockade. They had just crested a hill when Lexa’s warriors came into view. Clarke almost fell off her horse when she was assailed by a vision of something similar, only there were no trees or greenery. There were sands and thousands of soldiers standing and awaiting the command of their Pharaoh. Clarke was able to look to her right and saw that Lexa must be seeing something similar. Anya and Gustus moved their horses closer in order to catch their leaders should they suddenly fall, but they did not intervene.

Clarke watched as dual worlds collided. She was aware of what was presently in front of her, but it was the vision of what had happened in the past that had her captivated.

She was walking next to Lexa as Wepwawet the wolf, and her form almost eclipsed that of the horse Lexa (or Pharaoh) was seated upon. As each warrior spotted their leaders, they got on a knee and bowed their heads. Clarke realized they were not waiting for Lexa’s command; they were bowing to her in their victory. Together she and Lexa had just conquered some past enemy and the men were showing their respect. 

When she looked up again, the sights and sounds of the forest flooded her senses, however, the scene from the past seemed to unfold in real life. Each gona in the blockade took a knee and exposed their neck for their Heda, not out of submission, but out of deference to the leader they loved so much. Once Lexa was in the middle of her men, she commanded them to rise. She got off her horse and greeted each one personally by name. Clarke was stunned that her mate was able to remember each one.

The omega watched on in wonder. These were men who had been stationed at this blockade for longer than seemed fair, and the omega expected that there would be at least a few disgruntled warriors in the mix, but there were none, in fact, they all seemed excited knowing that the time had come for action.

The war tent was pitched, and they entered to make the final plans. The plan sounded simple, but it was anything but. Before they went storming in, they needed to know what weapons capabilities the Ark had. Raven had warned them that they likely had a lot of the weapons systems back online. That also meant that the fence surrounding the fallen Ark would be electrified. 

The delinquents had all stayed back in TonDC except for Wells and Bellamy. Bellamy would probably have stayed behind as well. Finn and Murphy stayed because Niylah and Emori stayed. The two women had been given jobs in the village. Bellamy was a different story. He was smitten with the Azgeda alpha Echo, and where Roan went Echo went. So, Bellamy followed. Wells, who hadn’t developed any attachments to anyone also came along. He was able to confirm that the fence was indeed electrified, and anyone who touched it would be fried to a crisp in a matter of seconds. 

The grounders were deeply disturbed by this tidbit of information. They had never heard of such a thing, just as they had never really heard much about the other weapons Skaikru had at its disposal. Sure, they had heard of fayagons (guns) before, but they had rarely encountered them. The Mountain men possessed such weapons but were rarely able to use them against the grounders.

In the end, and after much argument, it was decided that Wells would return to Arkadia with Luna, Roan, Anya, and Clarke on the pretense that as two separate clan leaders, Luna and Roan wanted to side with Skaikru against the harsh rule of Heda. Anya would add credence to this by stating as a General she could no longer stand by as Heda destroyed what used to be by stating that alphas, and only alphas should be in charge and that everyone else was beneath them. Clarke would be collared and presented as a gift to Jaha and told that she had been neutralized. It didn’t matter what Thelonius Jaha thought at that point. Based on what Wells had said, there was no way Thelonius Jaha would pass up the chance to get his hands on the omega he was so obsessed with.

Lexa had spent a considerable time speaking with Wells Jaha. She remembered that he was one of the first people who had tried to assimilate to grounder culture, and he had made a special effort to befriend Clarke all that time ago. She even remembered that he had rallied against his father. That being said, Lexa did not fully trust the man until after she was able to have a lengthy and one-on-one conversation with him. In the end, he would be one of the most instrumental players on the inside of Arkadia…once they got there.

On the outside, those at the blockade would be readying for battle while Raven used her genius, and her technical skills along with her tablet, to destroy the Ark’s systems from the outskirts of the blockade. Once Wells gave the signal that the weapons system was down, they would charge Arkadia and flatten it while trying to preserve as much innocent life as possible. 

Octavia was also going to be deployed. She had turned out to be cleverer than anyone realized. She had found a route in and out of Arkadia through a section of the electrified fence that didn’t work. It was behind a tool shed where no one bothered to go. It allowed easy egress in and out of Arkadia and was near the woods, so it was easy for her to disappear. The only problem with her discovery was that it was small. Only someone of her petite stature would fit through the opening. Grounders as a whole were much bigger than the average person from Skaikru, so there was no way to sneak any of the others in. Raven and Clarke were the only others who could probably fit through the hole in the fence. Echo might fit as well.

Ontari was the one of the limiting factors in this plan. If she spoke up about Clarke and her abilities, things could go to hell in a handbasket before they even got started. It was Luna who convinced the others that Ontari would keep her mouth shut. The omega from Azgeda was up to something, and it required the ignorance on the part of the Arkers. Luna was sure of this. 

In the end, they all knew that there were holes in the plan, but they also knew that time was of the essence. They couldn’t take days to take down the leaders of the Ark. They needed to move quickly so that no other innocents were chipped. As it was, Lincoln was struggling. Luna had taken some time later that evening to try and help him, but it wasn’t going to be so easy to overcome the power the chip held over him, just has it hadn’t been easy for Clarke. It had taken an extreme measure on Lexa’s part to get her omega back, and everyone worried that the longer the chip was activated the harder it would be to reverse its affects. Come morning they needed to make their move.

It was late when they finished. Lexa and Clarke headed into their personal tent after having eaten with everyone else. Raven and Anya had chosen to eat on their own. Raven was visibly upset that her mate was one of the ones leading the charge, and that the pregnant alpha was possibly walking into a powder keg of a situation. The mechanic had been very vocal in her disagreement to Anya’s part in the plan, and it had taken a blast of pheromones from both her mate and Heda to get her to calm down. 

Lexa was no less upset. She simply had more experience with hiding her emotions. She was not keen on sending her mate into the place where the people had abused her for so long, but she knew that Clarke was now capable of taking care of herself. Plus, she would have the others at her side. 

They knew that the Arkers would divest Roan, Anya, and Luna of their weapons, but what they would fail to realize was that the three grounders were just as lethal without their weapons. Luna may have forsaken violence long ago, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t insert herself into a fight. Not if it meant that those around her, those she already cared for greatly, would get hurt. She would not allow the backward, close-minded invaders from space ruin everything her Heda had fought so hard to achieve.

Clarke sat on the edge of their makeshift bed as Lexa got herself ready to sleep. She could feel her mate’s agitation and fear. When Lexa finally approached, she handed her a cup of the nasty suppressant the alpha needed to keep her rut at bay before drinking her own foul concoction to keep her heat calm for the next few days. 

When Lexa finally put her cup aside, Clarke handed her something else.

Wide, inquisitive eyes found hers. “What is this, Klark?”

Clarke, who wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding her own fear over the fact that she was going back into the place she hated most, had to clear her throat before speaking. “Turn it on and see.”

The omega had handed an electronic tablet to her mate. It was one that Raven and Abby had helped her with. She had wanted to wait to give it to her mate, but she now felt that she shouldn’t wait…just in case something happened.

Lexa’s green eyes searched her face before looking back down at the tablet. The alpha found the button that would turn it on, and when the screen lit up, the face of a baby Clarke stared up at her. 

Lexa’s voice hitched. “Klark.”

“Take your finger and swipe it across the screen to the left,” Clarke instructed.

Lexa did, and a new picture appeared. This one was of Clarke when she was a little older, but still just a babe. The alpha’s eyes began to glisten.

“Keep going,” Clarke urged.

Picture after picture appeared and showed Clarke as she grew throughout the years. There were several that drew a wet chuckle from the alpha. Aside from that she made no noise as she devoured every pixel of every picture. When she got to one that included Clarke with her parents, she stopped. The alpha’s finger hovered over the masculine face of the man who could only be her omega’s father. 

A tear slipped from the alpha’s eye. “You have his eyes.” She was silent before speaking up again. “He would be so proud of you.”

Clarke smiled at the image of her father. “I hope so.”

“He would. There is so much to be proud of.” Lexa took her free hand and squeezed Clarke’s knee. “I hope you know that I am proud of you too.”

The omega leaned over and kissed her alpha’s temple. “I know Lex. Now look at the others.”

They sat side by side as Lexa flipped through each picture. It took over an hour. There were 319 pictures to look at, and the meaning of that was not lost on the alpha.

When Lexa looked at the last one, it was a candid shot of her with Clarke that Raven had somehow taken of them while they were sharing a quiet moment. They were both smiling, and Clarke was leaning into her. The love they had for one another was evident. 

She was still for several minutes. She had never seen a picture of herself like this before. “Klark,” she finally whispered. This wasn’t just a gift that Clarke had given her, it was a treasure.

Brilliant and scared blue eyes stared back at her. “I wanted you to have this in case something goes terribly wrong once I am back in there.” She started to shake. “I am this amazing and strong creature, and I know that I can defend myself, but that place…those people, I am still so afraid of them.”

“I know, ai tombom, I too am terrified that something will happen to you, but you will have three of the most powerful people I know with you. They will protect you with their lives, and Raven will be here using her magic to try and dismantle their systems from out here. I have faith that you will be okay and that we will prevail tomorrow. We only just found each other. Surely the fates have meant for us to be together longer than this. Otherwise, why bring Heda and Wanheda together again?”

“You are right, and I am going to hold onto that thought, and thoughts of you, while I am in there. I am only as strong as I am because I have you.” She leaned in to kiss her mate. 

That night they made slow and tender love to one another until they both finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I can't decide if it was Murphy's wild ride, Clarke using her feminine wiles to get herself out of trouble, or the end with the tablet that I liked best in this chapter. What was your favorite part?


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of this chapter was a beast, but the second part came easily. In the end, I am happy with this chapter and I am excited for all of you to read it.
> 
> For those of you who can, vote.

Chapter 37

The next morning, Clarke stood collared and bound at the gates of Arkadia. Her hands were secured behind her back in special breakaway metal cuffs that she would be easily able to pull loose in order to get her hands free when she needed them. 

She couldn’t help but tremble, and the fear pouring off her was very real as she stood before the place she had never wanted to return to. 

Anya had what appeared to be a severe grip on her shoulder, but in reality, it was a gentle, reassuring touch that helped keep the fearful omega grounded.

Clarke’s fos leaned in, pretending to roughly adjust her collar and whispered in the blonde’s ear. “It is good to look afraid, strik pakstoka (little wolf), but do not let your emotions swamp you. You need to be sharp when we enter through those gates and they close behind us. Remember your training, and use what Gaia taught you to help you remain calm.”

Anya shoved Clarke violently causing the blonde to fall to her knees. “That’s where you belong omega.”

Clarke could feel Lexa’s anger rise in her own chest. Anya had a part to play, but Lexa wasn’t going to let the alpha get away with that move. She would make sure to be there when Heda confronted Anya about it. She wasn’t hurt and she wasn’t going to allow Lexa to punish her General for doing her job.

Wells, Luna, and Roan were in front of them speaking to Jaha through the gates. The wind was whipping, and they were far enough away that even with her enhanced hearing, she could only make out every few words. She heard words like omega, weak, gift, and traitor to her own kind. 

From her knees, Clarke spotted Ontari. The other omega was standing tall, circled by Jaha, Commander Shumway, Diana Sydney, and Hannah Green. Clarke gasped and thought that her eyes were playing tricks on her. She wished her hands were free so that she could clear her vision, because she would swear that she could see the silvery shine of multiple mating marks on the girl’s neck. Scanning those who had clearly taken a defensive position around the omega, Clarke could see that the four alphas surrounding her also had new mating marks. 

“Holy shit,” Clarke exclaimed before she could help herself and was happy that she was still far enough away to not be heard by those in Arkadia. Anya heard and made a show of yanking on Clarke’s collar and dragging her to her feet. 

The alpha whispered, “What is it strik pakstoka?”

“Her neck,” Clarke said through clenched teeth. “Look at her neck.”

Anya squinted, but was too far away to see what Clarke could see. The omega hid her sigh of frustration. “Mating marks,” she muttered, “she has four of them.”

Anya squinted again but still couldn’t see, and Clarke, she got distracted when Ontari’s gaze landed squarely on her. The other omega raised both hands to her ears and ran her fingertips over the tops of them. It was a clear taunt; a reminder that she was responsible for Clarke’s tipped ears.

A low rumble started to grow in Wanheda’s chest, and she had to squash the desire to shift then flatten the gates of Arkadia so that she could get to the woman responsible for poisoning her and threatening her wife.

Their plan had seemed solid enough, but now she thought it was ludicrous. The four mating marks on Ontari’s neck proved it. The girl was up to something, but Clarke was incapable of figuring out what it was. What would be the purpose of mating with four different alphas? 

It made her remember what the alphas on the Ark were like, and she shivered thinking of what Ontari had put herself through to mate with those particular alphas. Jaha and his squad were not nice people, and they would have been anything but nice as they took what they wanted from Ontari, but as Clarke searched for evidence that Ontari had been treated poorly, she couldn’t find a single injury on the girl except for the marks on her neck which she obviously willingly allowed. Perhaps what stymied the omega the most was that Jaha and the others surrounding them also had mating marks. Clarke couldn’t grasp how Ontari had achieved such a feat. Most Ark alphas were territorial. They may not have treated their omegas well, but they did protect what they saw as theirs. Alphas did not like to share.

Wanheda’s stomach soured. The thought that Ontari would use her body to achieve her goals was bad, but that she was willing to lie with four different people, and take their marks, was downright disgusting. Then Clarke had the unwelcome vision that Ontari might have taken all of them to bed at the same time, and she almost vomited. The thought was sickening.

It was no secret that Ontari had been trained to use her feminine wiles against Lexa. Nia had told them as much. Her plan for Ontari to woo and then kill the Commander, thankfully, had not come to fruition, but in the end, it made sense that Ontari would use those same skills against Ark’s upper echelon. To what purpose, she had no idea.

Clarke was so busy wracking her brain about this new mystery, she missed it when she was commanded by Anya to move, and the alpha had to shove her in the back to get her moving. She stumbled forward but kept her eyes down. Like Anya and the others, she had a part to play as well. She needed to look defeated, and browbeaten. Looking at Ontari, it was clear that she wouldn’t buy the act, but there was no reason the others shouldn’t. As long as the other omega kept her mouth shut, they should be able to infiltrate the metal remains of the Ark.

Clarke trudged along and couldn’t control the shiver that swept through her body as she passed through the gates of Arkadia and they shut behind her. She kept her eyes down, but she couldn’t help but steal several glances at Ontari. The girl had a smug look on her face. 

She was forced to a stop in front of Jaha. He was patting Wells on the back and congratulating him for bringing two clan leaders into the fold. To his credit, Wells looked like he was enjoying the praise, and Clarke started to worry that maybe they were wrong about him. What if he betrayed them? 

She didn’t have time to worry about that. Thelonius was leaning into her. He brushed a thumb over her cheek then leaned in to whisper, “It looks like your implant is still working its charms. You still smell every bit the omega. Too bad it will wear off in one or two more months.” He pushed aside her hair and touched her mating mark, making her flinch. “I am happy to see the bitch Commander did her job. Did she also succeed in breeding you?”

Clarke couldn’t help it as her face flushed, both with anger and embarrassment. The man was truly repulsive. 

He dropped the piece of hair he was holding and stood. “I have heard ridiculous stories about you. Your mate has done a good job of weaving fairy tales about the great Wanheda.” He spit the last word out. “The entire wolf thing; she really has convinced her savages that you are this great Wanheda beast hasn’t she?” He scoffed and turned to the others. “It shows you just how gullible those people really are.” He looked at the newcomers. “Present company excluded, of course.”

Roan and Luna bowed their heads in feigned respect. “The Commander may be wrong in the way she rules, but she’s no dummy when it comes to controlling the people. They believe everything she says, even without proof. She’s an adept liar.”

Jaha smiled, showing off his teeth. “It’s amazing how if one sheep follows the shepherd, the rest follow.” He gestured to the metal opening of the Ark. “Why don’t you follow me where we can sit comfortably and speak about how an alliance between our three clans can be beneficial to all of us.”

He was going to continue speaking, but Ontari interrupted him. “Theo, honey” her voice was fairly dripping with saccharine, “why don’t you leave the omega with me? I would like to have a little fun with her before you make an example of her.”

What the hell did that mean? Looking at Hannah Green, Commander Shumway, and Diana Green had alarm bells going off inside of her. Each wore matching evil grins.

“Of course, Ontari.” The timbre of his voice changed as he spoke to her. Luna and Roan tipped their heads, hearing it. Anya’s face was a perfect emotionless mask. 

“Father,” Wells said, “if you don’t mind, I am going to go shower and see a few of my friends. Being gone for so long has left me feeling dirty.”

Jaha thumped his son on the back. “That’s fine son. Go and enjoy yourself. Later tonight we will talk. I am glad you have finally figured out that I have been right about everything,”

“You have, Dad. I am sorry I ever doubted you.” With that Wells was hurrying away, and Clarke was suddenly even more terrified that he was going to betray them.

Ontari latched onto Clarke’s arm. The blonde’s hands were still cuffed behind her back. She sneered at Clarke as she said, “Come with me omega. We have so much to talk about.”

From the beginning, everyone knew that Clarke would likely be separated from the group. They were all nervous, but they knew that all she would need to do was shift if she found herself in a pinch. Wells had warned that the guards would be carrying guns, but each gun had limited bullets since the Arkers currently didn’t have the capability to make more. It was one of the things he told Roan to bring up as a way of enticing the new Chancellor to let them in; an ability to help them make more ammunition. 

Fortunately for Clarke, hidden under several sweltering layers of clothing and her long coat was her armor. If fighting broke out, and shots were sent in her direction, she hoped that her hidden armor would be enough to protect her.

Lexa watched through a pair of binoculars that Raven had found in the bunker during her explorations. The other alpha had a pair plastered to her face as well as they watched the small group being led into Arkadia. 

When Lexa had seen Anya shove her mate to her knees earlier, she had let out a fierce growl, but Raven, who had to swallow her own growl because she knew Lexa’s ire was directed at Anya, reminded the Commander that Anya was only doing what she was supposed to do. It placated Heda some, but Lexa couldn’t let go of her emotions. It stemmed from that fact that she was allowing Clarke to return to that dreadful place without her. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t more nervous than she had ever been. A million things could go wrong that could lead to any of them being hurt or killed. She prided herself on her logic and ability to strategize, but she couldn’t help but feel that the plan they had made was a bad one. True, they needed to get people on the inside in order to take down weapons systems and to preserve innocent life when the real battle started, but she felt like they should have come up with something different. She could feel Clarke’s doubt as well, even with her already in the confines of Arkadia.

Heda was sweating as she anxiously watched her people move through the gates of the metal monstrosity. More than once Raven complained about the sour smell coming off her. 

“You are no better, Reivon,” Lexa said it with a heavy accent. “You are simply unaware of your own officious odor.” She said it without taking her eyes off Arkadia.

Raven gasped, and Lexa thought it was because of her words, but it wasn’t. “Heda. Look at Ontari’s neck.”

When Lexa wasn’t able to see, the mechanic took the binoculars from the Commander and readjusted them, making them stronger. 

“Are those mating marks?” Lexa thought her eyes were playing tricks on her.

“I think they are. I see three…no four of them.” Raven was just as surprised as Lexa. She took the binoculars away from her face and sat on the ground with an elbow on her knee and a fist to her chin. She picked up her fallen field glasses and put them back up to her eyes before setting them down once more, muttering to herself the entire time.

“Where did Roan say he was when he met up with Jaha and was given the chip?” Raven asked, distracting Lexa from watching, even though at this point the Commander couldn’t see much.

“Sangedakru,” Lexa replied shortly.

“And doesn’t Sangedakru share a long border with Azgeda?” 

Lexa didn’t understand Raven’s line of thinking. “It does, but Ra…”

Raven launched to her feet and started to pace. She was muttering again. After a few minutes she stopped dead in her tracks. “What if Nia is the one who supplied Jaha with the chips?”

“Raven, I don’t think…”

“She’s clearly been planning to overtake you for some time. Every clan knew about the arrival of the dropship and then Skaikru, and their potential to disturb your fragile Coalition.” Lexa was about to interrupt again, but Raven stopped her. “Just listen. We already know that Nia knows far more than she is letting on, so it’s no stretch to think that she would have heard of a strange traveler walking through the desert. If she had the chips in her possession, it wouldn’t have taken much to put them into the hands of someone like Jaha and then send him on his merry way.”

“I don’t know…”

“Heda, think about it. It makes so much sense. It might even explain Ontari and her mating marks.” Raven’s arms were flailing as she tried to explain. “Say somehow Nia has had these chips. No idea how she got them but humor me. Say she has them, and say she used them on Ontari. Maybe at first it was to see what the chips did, or maybe it was to break the crazy bitch, I don’t know, but what do you think Nia would do if all of a sudden Ontari was able to fight off the effects of the chip just like Clarke did?”

Lexa’s eyes grew wide. “She would have given her another one.”

“And if she beat the effects again?”

“She would have forced another one into her, just to see what would happen, like an experiment.” Lexa was starting to catch on.

“So, maybe she or one of her spies somehow got Jaha to take a bunch of those chips with him after cluing him in on what they could do, but maybe she has also been using them on Ontari all along as part of her way to mold her into the exact assassin that she wanted her to be. I only got to look at the chip for a few minutes, but it’s high tech. The outside of it may be a dissolvable solid, but inside it has to be packed with tiny, almost molecular-sized computer parts.”

Lexa was confused. 

“I know Clarke gave you the tablet with all the pictures.” Raven waited for Lexa to nod. “Pretend you could take that tablet and turn it into thousands upon thousands of tiny pieces that could still function individually. Now take those tiny pieces and put them in one of those chips. Once swallowed, those nanoparticles would become a part of you, and if you were forced to take one over and over again, it’s not unfathomable to think that those elements would become a part of your circulatory system, or even part of your saliva.”

Lexa was frozen in her spot. “So, you are saying that, if this theory of yours is correct, that Ontari is using the chips and her training against the alphas of Arkadia. If she has all those tiny components running through her blood, or in her saliva, then it isn’t farfetched to think that when the alphas bit her to give her their marks that she transmitted at least part of those chips to the alphas through her blood. The load of those components would increase when she was allowed to bite them.”

“For not having tech in this world, you have a very good understanding of it.” Raven said proudly.

Lexa went on. “Is it feasible to say that if the chip had been forced upon Ontari over and over again that perhaps she became able to control the technology swimming within her veins somehow, that she is using it to sway how the alphas around her are thinking and behaving?”

“I think it is extremely possible. By overusing the chip on Ontari, Nia could have inadvertently turned her into a cyborg. No, that’s not the right word. Cybernetic woman would be better.”

Lexa had no idea what most of that meant. Raven gave her a grizzly grin. With her face still blackened as it was, it was a grizzly mug indeed. Briefly, the Commander felt bad for being the one responsible for making Raven’s face look the way it did, but that day had served its purpose. It had also made the Skai alpha realize her true potential. The other good thing was it had also brought Raven and her together. 

Lexa was bonding with Raven in a way that was different than that of the others around her, and in Raven she thought perhaps she had found a true friend and confidant. She had the feeling that if she ever needed to get something off her chest that she couldn’t tell Clarke or Anya, that she would be able to go to Raven. 

The mechanic may be impulsive, and mouthy at times, but she was also loyal. Lexa knew that she would be able to confide in the dark-haired woman without fear that Raven will spill her secrets. 

Lexa returned her thoughts to Raven’s theory. “If Ontari is cybernetic as you called it, that could mean that not only can she infuse others with the components of the chip with her blood and bodily fluids, but could it mean that she is essentially a walking and talking version of what was shoved down Clarke’s throat? Could she use her influence to suppress the alphas, and others, without having to share herself, her body, with them?”

Raven puzzled over that. “That I don’t know, but so far your little suitor…”

“Don’t call her that. She is my nothing,” Lexa growled.

Raven ignored her outburst. “…has either been exceedingly lucky, or she’s super smart, like supercomputer smart. We don’t even know if this is what happened or if it is all conjecture, but something is telling me that I am onto something, and it seems that you may be too.” Raven looped the strap of her binoculars around her neck and let them rest on her chest. “I don’t think we can rule it out. In fact, I think we need to act as if that is exactly what Ontari is doing.”

She took a step away from Lexa. “That also means I need to get to work. If Ontari is what we think she is, then she’s too dangerous to be allowed to run free.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos. I am especially curious to read what you think of the theory Raven and Lexa came up with.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a lot longer to get out than I had hoped. It has been a hectic and stressful week with the election. In addition to that, my mother had a surgery Wednesday, and I have been helping her since then. It's rewarding to be able to help her after she has helped me so much throughout my life.

Chapter 38

Clarke didn’t like being separated from the group, especially when it was Ontari who was leading her away. The other omega had led her into the steel confines of Arkadia, and down a winding series of halls. The blonde was familiar with each one. It was Ontari’s familiarity that worried her. The scarred woman was leading her toward the Chancellor’s suites. 

It was the largest set of private rooms on the Ark. The belonged to Thelonius Jaha, and to each Chancellor that came before him. As they got closer, Clarke could smell the disturbing combined scents of Ontari, Jaha, Shumway, Hannah, and Diana. They may not have mated all at the same time, but it was clear to the blonde that each mating with Ontari had taken place in the Chancellor’s rooms. She almost gagged.

The Azgaden used a key card, Jaha’s key card, to open the chamber doors. She pushed Clarke in. Wanheda was itching to change, but she also wanted to know what Ontari was up to. Now that she was near the other omega, she could feel that something was different about her. Having never been so close to the girl before, she hadn’t sensed anything earlier, but now, there was an uncomfortable swirling in Clarke’s chest.

Ontari pushed Clarke into a fancy ornate seat before taking the one next to her. The blonde had always hated the gaudy decorations and style in the Chancellor’s rooms. She had only ever been in them three times, long ago with her mother and father, but even then, she thought the designs and art garish. The rooms were stuffed with Old World pieces and furniture that had been saved, but every bit of it was ugly. It felt like she was being accosted by the tasteless and bright mismatching colors.

It wasn’t like the Temple in the bunker. Those rooms were tastefully done. The man, Bill Cadogan, had found priceless works and relics, and he had displayed each one simply to draw out the beauty and simplicity of each timeless item. Here, Clarke felt like she was stuck in the stuffy room of a failed museum curator. 

Terrified to be alone with Ontari, but also feeling bold, Clarke decided to test the waters. “So, you’ve got me alone. Now what are you going to do with me?”

Ontari’s gaze lasered in on her. Her russet eyes bored holes into Clarke as they roved over her body. “I can feel it in you. You are just like me,” she finally said, confusing the blonde.

Clarke growled. Her hands clenched into fists behind her back. “I am nothing like you.”

“You think that, but you could be.” Ontari smiled and raised her eyebrows. “Jaha told me he forced you to take one of the chips. He’s told me all sorts of amazing things, but the best snippet was about what he did to you. It’s a terrible feeling to lose yourself, isn’t it?”

Clarke didn’t say anything. She shifted her arms. She would give anything to get out of the metal cuffs. They may have been fake, but they were no less comfortable than if they were real. The sharp ridges were digging into her skin, and it already felt like it was raw and red.

“Before we have this one-on-one girl’s chat, would you mind removing the cuffs?” Clarke asked.

Ontari rolled her eyes. “Now why would I do that? Besides, I don’t have the key.”

Good, at least she doesn’t know they are fakes, Clarke thought.

Ontari picked something up from the table, and the blonde almost gasped in horror. It was one of her fangs. The other omega twirled the huge tooth in her hands before slamming it into Clarke’s thigh, causing her to scream out. 

“Now, quit asking questions, and don’t even think about shifting.” The girl pulled a syringe out of her coat pocket, and Clarke’s heart started to slam in her chest. “This is filled with wolfsbane, and it is more than enough to kill you in either of your forms, so don’t try anything stupid, Wanheda. I don’t want to kill you. I would rather be your friend.”

Ontari took the deadly syringe and set it on the lavish table next to her, using it as a clear threat to Clarke.

The blonde was trying not to tremble in pain. The burning in her thigh was growing, and she couldn’t believe that a piece of herself had been used against her in such a way. Fuck, her teeth were sharp. She hoped the tooth hadn’t been laced with poison.

“So, back to my question. What was it like to lose yourself, to lose your omega? I want you to tell me that, and then you are going to tell me how you fought the effects of the chip.” Her voice was low and menacing, but in the span of less than a second, her voice changed and Ontari was bouncing on her seat almost like an excited schoolgirl. “After you tell me, I am going to give you this,” she produced a chip in her hand, and Clarke’s racing heart stopped, “and you are going to show me exactly how you overcame it.”

Anya was getting antsy. Her seken had been out of her sight for too long and she was more than a little worried about her but being the good General she was supposed to be, she stood behind Roan and Luna as they spoke with Jaha and the others. Her emotions remained unreadable. The mask of Heda existed because of Lexa’s tutelage under Anya after all. If there was anything Anya was good at, it was not showing her emotions to the enemy.

She stood absolutely still as Roan droned on about how his people, along with those from Boudalan (Rock Line clan) could help Skaikru with its ammunition problem. Already they had been speaking about the false alliance they could form with Skaikru and breaking from the coalition. Things were turning to how to overtake Polis and defeat the Commander.

“How is it possible you can help us with that? Your people do not use guns.” Commander Shumway said, condescension coloring his voice. 

Roan had worked with Raven the way the politicians of the old world worked with others to prepare for debates. He had sat with Raven as she instructed him on the construction of ammunition, and then he sat there while Raven asked him the same rapid-fire questions that Jaha and the people might. She had taken the time to instruct him on the different guns used by Skaikru, and how to use them, even using her tablet to show him what each weapon looked like. He was the new grounder expert in all things related to Arkadia’s fayagons (guns).

He was prepared for just such a question. “We have large coal mines. Is charcoal not one of the major components of gunpowder? Boudalan has both coal and sulfur mines.” Shumway looked disturbed at Roan’s knowledge. “Sulfur is another vital component of your gunpowder, and as far the last component that you need, you simply need ash, feces, or urine to make your powder work.” Was any of what he was saying true? Not all of it, but the mines did exist. 

During Raven’s impromptu educational session, Lexa made sure to have a stern conversation with Roan to ensure he would not start trying to make his own gunpowder. After telling “little Lexie” that the use of guns was dishonorable, and after she tackled him to the ground and wrestled with him until she had him pinned, he gave her a toothy grin and promised that he had no intention of ever making such a dangerous thing. His mother may have taken that knowledge and used it against the Coalition, but he promised that his was going to be an era of peace. 

Hannah Green interrupted the conversation about guns to ask her own question. She looked at Luna and asked rather reluctantly, “What do you have to offer if we form an alliance with you? King Roan seems to have much to offer, but you have been quiet. Perhaps it is because you don’t have anything to offer?”

Luna was just as good at not transmitting her emotions as Anya. Instead of looking at Hannah, she looked at Jaha as she spoke. “The one thing that I have that none of the other clans have is ships. We are the only clan to have mastered the seas and the bounty that lies within. We are fully capable of feeding ourselves during all the seasons, and we have a surplus to trade. We usually make our trade deals through the Commander in Polis, but with the right enticement, I am sure we could easily shift our dealings to include you.”

Hannah huffed at not being directly spoken to, but Luna ignored her. “Those same ships could be used to attack Polis by sea. Unless you are in Heda’s tower, you cannot see it because of the trees, but Polis sits almost directly on the bay. It is easily assessable by water. Not since the time before the bombs has anyone been able to carry out an attack by sea, but we have that capability. Until now, there was no need to use it,” Luna let out a dramatic growl, “but Heda Lexa has overstepped in her grab for power. She pretends that we are all equals, and maybe she really believes it, but I personally think it is a ploy to control the people. Feed a wolf from your hand, and it befriends you, but beat it into submission, and it fights against you. What better way to control the people than by making them believe that they are all equals?”

She paused for effect. “My clan may not be as large as King Roan’s, in fact, his people outnumber mine four or five to one, but if it were to come down to a fight, my people would win every time because of the fleet of ships and the weapons I possess. You may be in need of gunpowder to make your bullets, but I have already secured a trade deal with the Rock Line clan in order to procure mine. You have guns, but I have cannons, and one well-placed shot from one of my cannons could take down Heda’s entire tower.”

All this information was true, except for the part about the cannons. They did not exist, nor did the alliance with Boudalan for gunpowder, but Jaha and his minions didn’t need to know that.

As Luna kept babbling and keeping the other alphas in the room enthralled with tales about her clan, Anya wanted to scream. Everything was taking too long. Wells Jaha was supposed to signal when the weapons systems were down, but what if he couldn’t do it, or what if he had betrayed them. 

If the Skaikru leaders caught wind of what they were doing, Luna, Anya, and Roan would probably all be shot, or maybe chipped, without hesitation, but that wasn’t what the General was worried about. She was worried that Clarke’s punishment would be long, drawn out, and extremely painful if Jaha got his hands on her.

Something needed to happen, and it needed to happen soon.

Lexa was pacing. Raven was busy tapping away on her electronic device, muttering to herself and cursing at times. Four times already she had asked the mechanic what was taking so long, and four times Raven told her that the systems on the Ark had been advanced. Since crashing to the ground, the systems had required necessary changes. There was a lot of new coding to wade through. Raven wished that Monty had been healthy enough to travel with them. He was better at this kind of stuff than she was.

When Lexa asked about Wells, Raven didn’t have an answer. She didn’t know what he was doing, but she expected that he was running into the same problems as her.

The newest member of Trikru tapped away at the tablet for about ten more minutes before she jumped to her feet. “We’ve done it. We are in. The systems are down.” She grinned at Lexa. “It’s time to go show those fuckers what a badass you are.”

Lexa corrected her. “It is time to show them what badasses we are.”

Anya was about to lose it. She had endured countless boring hours standing at Lexa’s side as the different clan ambassadors droned on about their petty demands, but the pomposity and ridiculousness of these alphas who fell from the sky was trying every last bit of patience she had. 

She was just about to ask to be excused from the meeting, siting a desperate need for a bathroom break, which was in fact true, when she heard a rush of footsteps outside the doorway. A fist crashed on the metal door from the outside before it slammed open. 

A nameless guard stumbled in, breathing hard. “Ch-chancellor. We are under attack. The grounders have surrounded the compound.”

Lexa watched on with satisfaction as her warriors streamed out of the forest to surround Arkadia. This was the moment she had been dreaming of ever since she had found out what Jaha had done to Clarke. 

As her men moved forward, she could see the people in Arkadia scrambling. Already whiffs of nervous pheromones were reaching her nose. She hoped the stink in the air wasn’t too overwhelming for her mate. Even from the blockade, Lexa had been able to feel the emotions running through her mate which had gone from fear, to hate, back to fear, and then to a sudden calm. The whiplashing of emotions was making Heda panicky. It was the sudden sense of calm that worried her most. It meant that Clarke was planning something; something that Lexa wasn’t privy to. She hoped it wasn’t something that would put her mate in more danger than she already was. 

She had to remind herself that Clarke could take care of herself. She also had to remind herself that three of the deadliest warriors in all the Coalition were inside with her omega. Her mate was Wanheda. This might be Clarke’s first true test of what it meant to be Wanheda, but Lexa was certain that she would pass. Reminding herself of this, she had to put her fears for her mate aside. She had a job to do, and she couldn’t let her worries interfere with what she had to do now. 

“Gon Wor (To war),” she yelled. 

With a face made of stone, she sat atop her horse as the first soldiers moved forward, making a shield wall and protecting those behind them from the bullets that would surely start firing. It was Lexa’s fervent hope that Skaikru would exhaust its supply of ammunition before they started to pull down the wall. 

Behind Lexa was a team of forty men, on foot and on horses, all supplied with chains and hooks. As soon as they could get close enough, those men would be toppling Arkadia’s flimsy metal walls. Without its electricity running through it, the wall was merely a nuisance. 

Out of the corner of her left eye, she could see Raven, Bellamy, Echo, and Octavia making for the small opening in the fence that Octavia and Lincoln had escaped through. The younger alpha had not wanted to leave her mate Lincoln behind, but Lexa had assured her that Luna’s people were taking good care of him. It made Lexa proud to see the changes the young alpha had made in herself. Now that she had found a mate, someone to settle her, Octavia would make a fine warrior.

Floukru would not participate in the fight. With their oath to Luna to forsake all forms of violence, they were staying behind to act as field nurses to anyone who got hurt. There were also several who were attending directly to Lincoln to help him fight the effects of the chip.

Inside the meeting room, guns were now being pointed at the three grounder alphas. “What did you do?” Diana Sydney screamed. “You brought them here with you.”

Roan stepped forward, hands in the air. It was time to make them question themselves.

“You are right, we did, but really, it was the traitor within your midst who brought us to you. You let Ontari kom Azgeda in with open arms. She has used you, made you believe that your might is stronger than Heda’s, but I am here to inform you that there is no one mightier than Heda Lexa kom Trikru, and with Wanheda at her side, you will bow before her.”

“Wanheda is not real,” Jaha bellowed, spittle flying from his lips.

Anya stepped forward, disregarding the gun pointing at her forehead. “You are wrong. I have seen her with my own eyes, as has your mate. That little bitch who has manipulated you into letting her into your folds isn’t here to help you defeat Heda. She’s here to use you as toys, and based on the marks on your necks, she already has. What kind of alpha shares their omega with three other people? You call us barbarians, but it is you who are the savages. Look at yourselves.”

Luna stepped forward next. “Ontari is a trained assassin, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you let her in. Did you not consider that she was manipulating you? You think yourself strong alphas, yet you let one little omega bring you to your knees. She offered you sex, and I bet that you let her mark you first before she let herself be marked. Am I wrong?”

The four Skai alphas were silent. “What would the rest of your people think if they knew an omega, a grounder omega at that, was allowed to mark an alpha before receiving a mark in return? I think your people would find you weak. They would find you disgusting and pliable. Your people believe that alphas bow to no one yet each one of you got on your knees and let an outsider treat you like alpha pups who had just sprung their first knot.”

Shumway started to swing his gun toward Luna, but before he even had the chance to put his finger on the trigger, the Arkadians were on their knees and turning their necks so far to the side that another centimeter and they might break. Anya and Roan hit them with everything they had. Luna smirked. She wouldn’t use her pheromones against another unless it was absolutely necessary. In this case it wasn’t. Anya and Roan had things well in hand. 

Luna walked over and plucked the four fallen guns from the floor. “You won’t be needing these.” From a hidden pocket in her coat, she produced four pairs of metal cuffs. “You will be needing these, however, and for the record your guards are skrish (shit) at searching people.”

“You and all your people will die for this. Ontari will save us.” Diana screeched.

Roan knelt before the woman. “Poor little mousy, the kitty cat has no intention of saving you. You were pawns in her game. The first to be sacrificed. It will be Heda and Wanheda who decide your fate now.”

Somehow Jaha was able to slightly fight the hold Anya and Roan had on him. He was practically foaming at the mouth; he was struggling so hard. “That fucking little omega bitch, Clarke…”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Roan’s meaty fist slammed into his temple, knocking the Chancellor out cold. “Another disparaging word against our Haiplana, and I won’t hesitate to destroy you, no matter what punishment it lands me from Heda.”

The others wisely kept their mouths shut.

Raven sprinted down the halls of fallen Ark. So far, she and her little team had not run into any problems. The few people they had run into saw them only as the delinquents that came down with the dropship. Most probably hadn’t even realized that the trio had even left the confines of Arkadia. Echo, who they had the foresight to dress in Arker clothing, was completely ignored. The rest of Skaikru could be heard outside. The gunfire and yelling was loud, but it was the war drums from Heda’s army that sent a shiver down her spine, and she was glad she was fighting on the side of the grounders and not that of Skaikru. If that had been the case, she was certain that she would be hiding in some remote corner of the Ark by now. 

“We’re here,” she said as they finally made it to the control room. Octavia and Echo were right behind her and had a grim smile on her face. Bellamy was about ten feet back with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

If their part of the mission wasn’t so important, she would have joked with Echo about how out of shape her new boyfriend was.

When she opened the door to the room what she found was chaos. Wells had obviously gotten inside, but now the alpha was being held at gunpoint in the back of the room along with Raven’s former mentor Jacapo Sinclair. 

There were sixteen other people in the room trying frantically to undo what Wells had done. They were trying to get their weapons systems back online.

“Hey, boys,” Raven said as she strutted into the room. “I can’t let you do that.” 

She dug deep within herself, searching for the power that she had used against Heda when she thought Anya had been hurt. Never having been one of those alphas who enjoyed using their dominance over other people, Raven had never tapped into that part of herself before, but when she found it, she sent it barreling outward at the other occupants in the room, dropping all of them to her knees. 

Her confident steps stuttered for a moment when she grasped what she had just done. Every person in the room had submitted to her, even Echo and Octavia. Bellamy had to good fortune to still be outside the room. “Fuck.” She didn’t have the control Heda did when it came to sending out her pheromones. She couldn’t let up on her friends without letting up on the others.

“Listen, I will ease up on you, but only if you agree to surrender. Octavia and Bellamy will secure you until the fighting is over. There is no reason for any of you to get hurt. Nod if you agree.”

Every head nodded. “Good. Don’t do anything stupid and make me do that again. When all this is over, I would a rather you stand by my side, not kneel at my feet. There is no reason for us to be enemies.”

She let up on her pheromones, and the others quickly tied the hands of the others behind their backs.

She fist-bumped Wells. “Damn good job, man. Boy is your ass of a father going to be pissed when he learns what you have done.”

Wells gave her a lopsided smile and shrugged. “He stopped being my father a long time ago. I was happy to help.”

Heda got off her horse. The shield wall had mostly held and the walls of Arkadia had fallen, but not without cost. At least a dozen of her men were dead or dying, and the fighting was still raging on within Arkadia. 

They had underestimated Skaikru’s fire power. There ammunition may be limited, but it was effective, and their guns were making it hard to advance her men further than the fallen metal fence. 

Gustus and Indra were at her side, and they were yelling orders to the men with shields to surround their Heda. Twenty men rushed to surround the Commander, making an impenetrable wall around and above her, and she marched them into the middle of Arkadia. 

Bullets slammed into the shields, but they held, and no one was hurt. The stayed in position until all the bullets had been exhausted. It took longer than she expected. She waited until she heard the now useless guns hitting the ground.

“Flosh klin emo (Destroy them),” she shouted.

The men around her broke the shield wall, and she busted through her men in what they would later call a blaze of glory.

Wielding her twin swords, she slashed and ripped through dozens of Skaikru attackers. There were still too many to make them submit to her. There were a few good fighters in Skaikru, but the fight was mostly an act of futility on their part. Heda’s men outnumbered those of Skaikru, and now that they didn’t have their guns to protect them, it was hardly a fight. 

When there were only about one hundred Skaikru still fighting, Lexa called for her warriors to stop. With a simple gesture of her hand, her gonas moved into two groups behind her. She faced the remaining members of Skaikru, and without a word, she held up her right arm and beckoned the fighters forward silently telling them to come and get her. 

Twenty charged. They were holding pipes, wrenches, and any other weapon they could get their hands on. Really it was rather pathetic how reliant these people were on their guns.

It didn’t matter what they carried. The gonas watched their Commander as if she were performing a dance. She ducked, spun, kicked out, and swung her swords as the men charged her, and she did it all silently. A few landed glancing blows on her shoulders or sides, but she wasn’t even phased, and with deadly precision she killed every man.

As the next group moved to attack, she dropped her swords, and she heard Gustus swearing at her for the move. It didn’t matter. There was no more fighting to be done that day. With a blast of pheromones like none she had ever released, she directed the powerful pheromones at the eighty or so remaining members of Skaikru that were still on their feet. Thuds and clangs could be heard as weapons and knees hit the ground. 

“This fight is over…”

“The fuck it is, fucking grounder savage,” someone yelled from the top of one of the guard towers. 

The grounders looked up, and instantly the men with shields moved to protect their Heda, but it was too late. The man in the tower was holding a machine gun. 

“Kyle, don’t,” one of the people on the ground shouted.

It didn’t matter. Bullets rained down on Heda’s men, ripping through flesh. Four men toppled as they tried to get to their Commander. It was Gustus who succeeded in protecting his Heda, but not before a bullet went crashing through the Pauldron on Lexa’s left shoulder, spinning her around and making her stumble. She did not fall.

It was Indra who took out the man. She grabbed a bow from a fallen gona, and with a single, well-aimed shot, she pierced directly through the bicep of the attackers shooting arm. The gun dropped from his hands, and he toppled out of the guard tower. The only reason he did not fall to his death was because several of Heda’s men ran forward and caught him. He would not be allowed the swift death the fall would have provided. His death would come at the hands of Heda.

After that, it was child’s play to wrangle up the members of Skiakru that were still alive. Gustus had tended to Lexa’s injury as best he could before she waved him off. It wasn’t a life-threatening wound, and she would survive until one of the fisa’s (healers) could look after her.

She was still barking out orders when Anya, Luna, and Roan came out of the Ark escorting their four new prisoners.

Lexa’s green eyes met with Anya’s copper ones. They both asked, “Where’s Clarke?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we got to see some badass moments from Lexa and Raven. Even Roan and Anya had a badass moment. Those two bringing Jaha and his minions to their knees might have been my favorite part of this chapter.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I told all of you how much I love you for reading this not so little fic of mine. It's so much longer than I ever expected it to be, and that you have hung in this long and kept reading just means the world to me. We've still got at least a handful of chapters to go, if not more, but I wanted to thank all of you for the continued support.

Chapter 39

Clarke tromped angrily through the woods. Ontari hadn’t used the poison as a way to get Clarke to take the chip, instead she had held the barrel of a gun to her forehead until the blonde had picked up the chip from where the other omega had placed it and swallowed the horrible thing. 

The effects were immediate, and Clarke could feel her inner self starting to fade away, but this time she was ready, and she fought the effects. She didn’t use her power to shift, no, that would have gotten her shot. Instead she used the power to within herself to subdue whatever force it was within the chip that was trying to eat away at who she was. 

The effort was making her sweat, and even stumble occasionally, but it seemed to be working. She even found that whatever it was that she was doing to control what was happening to her had Ontari convinced that the chip had worked at stripping her omega away. It seemed that Clarke no longer smelled of omega. She only smelled of dirt and sweat. Ontari had made a point of telling her that.

The other omega had wrinkled her nose and told Clarke she was starting to smell sour. Of all the things that had ever been said to Clarke, this may have offended her the most.

Ontari pushed her forward with the tip of the gun, and Clarke couldn’t help the growl that escaped. One more push, and Clarke was going to break out of her pretend cuffs and throttle the bitch. She’d risk the bullet to the brain just to be able to wrap her hands around her throat. As it was, she was tired of playing this charade. 

If not for the syringe of poison in one of Ontari’s hand, and the gun in the other, the girl would already be dead. Instead, Clarke had to continue her performance in this little game. At least Ontari was unaware that this time the chip didn’t have the hold over her that it had the first time she had taken it. 

Clarke found it interesting. This time around it seemed the longer the chip was in her, the more control she had over it. She didn’t understand it, not at all, but it almost felt like she could feel it coursing through her veins, and with a little bit of concentration, she could force the feeling to go away entirely. 

Thinking back on it, she had always been aware of something floating within her. Even after she had beat the effects of the chip the first time, that particular sensation remained. Now it was slightly amplified, but with a concentrated effort, she was able to make it disappear. 

As they walked, she thought about her alpha. She had no doubt that Lexa would be successful in the battle against Arkadia. When all this was over, if she survived, she was going to have a long talk with Raven, Monty, and anyone else who might understand what the chip was made from. 

Ontari, before they even made their escape from Arkadia, told her all about how the chip had been forced on her. She had taken the chip a total of eight times, and she professed to have complete control over it, even using it to control others. 

It was all above Clarke’s head, but now that she had consumed a second chip, and with the things she was feeling, she thought that perhaps Ontari was correct. Even now, Clarke seemed to have some control over it, but she had no idea how she could use that against others, nor would she want to.

Ontari was going on and on about how the two of them could be friends, now that they were just like each other. She was maniacal in her insistence that Clarke was now just like her. The blonde did not argue with her.

Ontari spoke of banding together with all the omegas and making them take the chips. With training like Ontari had, she thought the omegas would be able to rise up and topple the alphas of the Coalition. It was her plan to eliminate alphas altogether. She wanted a world free of alphas. If that couldn’t be achieved, she wanted to create a world where omegas were so powerful that she could crush the alphas beneath her boots.

Her hate for Nia was obvious. What the alpha had done was unforgivable. Ontari admitted to the pain and suffering she survived at Nia’s hands., but she also admitted that she would not be who she was without Nia and would go through it all again to become the person she was now, even if she then said that she was going to kill the Azplana (Ice Queen) for what she had done to her.

“You are going to have to get in line,” Clarke muttered under her breath.

Ontari ignored her and went on. “Then I am going to kill that alpha of yours, or maybe, once you see things as I do, we can kill her together. Wouldn’t you enjoy sinking your teeth into the soft flesh of her belly and ripping it out, Wanheda?”

Clarke held in her horrified gasp, and Ontari’s talk of teeth reminded her of that pain she had in her leg from where the girl had stabbed her with the fang, making her stumble again. 

Ontari let her fall. She knelt down in front of her hand held up another chip.

How many does this crazy bitch have? Clarke wondered.

“Take it. It’s either that or I force you to take it.” She smiled sweetly. “It’s your choice.”

Clarke sighed. She opened her mouth and let her plop the chip on her tongue. It started to dissolve immediately, forcing her to swallow. 

Once more, Clarke could feel the chip trying to overtake her, but she didn’t let it, and after a minute, it was as if it had had no effect at all.

“Now get up. You promised to show me how you defeated the chip the first time,” Ontari dug the gun into her back. “and this better not be a trick. I may want you on my side, but it will be just as fun to watch you die a slow death after I poison you. There’s enough poison in the syringe that your eyes will bleed. I wouldn’t mind seeing that.”

Clarke snarled but got to her feet. They weren’t far.

In ten more minutes, Clarke was standing exactly where she wanted to be, and she couldn’t help the grin which spread across her face. Ontari’s death was minutes away.

“Where the fuck are we?” Ontari asked.

“Oh, if you only knew,” Clarke said boldly, “you wouldn’t have followed me.”

With a snap of metal, Wanheda’s hands were finally free and swinging with all their might. Her left hand caught Ontari’s arm before she could respond, and she sent the gun flying from the other omega’s grip. She stepped back, shifted and roared triumphantly. 

Ontari already had the syringe in her hands. “Take one step toward me and I will plunge this in you before you can call for you pathetic alpha.”

Clarke raised her head and howled. Looking back at the girl, Wanheda gave her a , wolfy grin. She sat calmly on her haunches as three pissed off giant gorillas came charging into the clearing.

The three primates surrounded them, and to Ontari’s horror, Wanheda immediately lowered herself to her belly before rolling onto her side and exposing the most vulnerable part of herself.

“What the fuck are you doing? Get up,” Ontari screamed.

Clarke stayed still, but Ontari ran to pick up the gun. She only got to fire it once before the male Pauna was after her. The bullet hit the massive creature, but it didn’t even flinch. It brought its gigantic arm up and swung, crushing the girl’s shoulder and sending her flying. The crunching of bones had Clarke wanting to vomit, but she didn’t dare move. 

Ontari got up from where she was thrown, but when she turned to run, she ran face first into the female Pauna who easily plucked the girl from the ground by her ankle, leaving her to dangle helplessly.

“Wanheda. Help me.” She shrieked.

Again, Clarke didn’t move. She trusted that the Pauna family would not hurt her, but she didn’t want to do something stupid that would change that.

The female Pauna regarded Clarke carefully until Ontari tried to squirm out of her grasp. The giant animal abruptly dropped the flailing human, and when she hit the ground, there was a sickening crack. 

She watched as Ontari tried to scrabble at the ground, but it was to no avail. Her legs wouldn’t move. She must have broken her back when the Pauna dropped her, and Clarke almost felt bad for her … almost.

The largest furred foot Clarke had ever seen moved and poked Ontari in her side. She screamed in terror and pleaded again with Wanheda to save her. There was no saving her now. Clarke looked up. The male and female pounders were standing side by side. The mother reached out a hand and the infant gorilla moved to grab it.

Clarke wasn’t sure she could call the infant an infant anymore. It had more than tripled in size since the last time she had seen it. Its rate of growth was remarkable. She looked in each pair of eyes and gave a small whimper. It was an intimidating thing to have three enormous gorillas looking down on her. 

The foot nudged Ontari again, eliciting the same terrified screaming. The nudge was in Clarke’s direction, and she seemed to understand what was being communicated to her.

She slowly inched herself away from the three beasts and Ontari, and with agonizingly slow movements, she sat up on her haunches. Once seated, she shook her head trying to indicate that she wanted no part of Ontari’s death. 

She almost gave in when Ontari continued to beg and plead for her life. She shifted back and was forever thankful that her armor had been hidden under her clothing. This time she wasn’t standing naked before the trio of animals.

She took four slow steps toward Ontari as the Pauna family watched on. “I will not save you, Ontari. I know you have lived a terrible and painful life at Nia’s hands, and for that alone, I wish I could save you, but you are broken, and I know in here,” Clarke pointed at her heart, “that you cannot be fixed.”

“I can, I promise. I will try.” Ontari was crying, but behind her tears, Clarke could see her anger, and more than that, she could feel it in her pheromones. Even as she begged, Ontari’s rage was building. 

“You poisoned me, and you sent packages filled with poison to my mate. You threatened to watch me kill Lexa kom Trikru, and for that alone you will die. You had your chance to redeem yourself when you ran away from the challenge that day with Nia. You could have run and stayed away, or you could have asked for sanctuary. We probably would have given it to you. You could have tried to be the better person, but you didn’t. You even manipulated four alphas, albeit awful alphas, into mating with you so that you could take advantage of them, and all the rest of us. I am sorry. There is no saving you.”

With that, Clarke stepped back. She was about to turn away from the group, knowing they were about to kill Ontari when she saw the girl’s hand reach out. Somehow, the other omega had landed by the gun, and she was just about to shoot at Wanheda when a dagger came flying out of nowhere and severed the omega’s hand off at the wrist.

Clarke twisted her head, and the most brilliant emerald eyes were staring at her in relief. “Lexa.”

Lexa didn’t make a move toward her. Not with the Pauna family still standing around the writhing Ontari.

Clarke took a calculated risk and walked over to the youngest of the beasts. She looked once at it, and then once at Ontari. She didn’t know if it would understand her words, but she hoped her meaning would come across.

“It wasn’t that long ago that I stole from you.” These words were directed to the mother Pauna. “I didn’t know at the time you were pregnant. I took valuable nutrition away from you, and I tried to make up for that, but I think I owe you more, and that is why I think you,” she gestured to the smallest of the pounders, “should get the kill.”

Ontari wailed at Clarke’s words. She squatted in front of the injured woman. “I am Wanheda. I am the Commander of Death, but I am also the Protector of Life.” She swept her arms at the three primates. “I stole from these three, and I owe it to them to try and protect their lives and their habitat. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but I cannot find you worthy of the life you have. You had the opportunity to change, but you squandered it.” 

Clarke placed her hand on Ontari’s chest, and she could feel the girl’s soul stir and collect within her hand. When she pulled her hand away from Ontari, her eyes were glazed over and unseeing, but she was still alive. “Yu gonplei ste odon, Ontari kom Azgeda. I hope you find peace in your next life.”

She turned and walked toward her mate who had stayed at the edge of the clearing. She could hear the nauseating tearing of flesh and bones as the Pauna family tore Ontari apart.

Lexa hugged Clarke to her, possibly tighter than she ever had. She nuzzled Clarke’s mating mark, inhaling deeply to make sure her mate was alright. It was several minutes before she could speak. “What the hell just happened?”

Anya, Gustus, Raven, and Indra weren’t too far away from Heda. “It’s a long story, but there is something I need to do before I can tell you.”

She stood and walked until she got the base of an ancient tall tree. She was far enough away that she could no longer hear what was happening in the Paunas’ feeding grounds.

She got down on both knees and pressed her hand to the rough bark of the tree. “Death is but a doorway to new life. We live today, we shall live again. In many forms shall we return.” It was the same Egyptian prayer of resurrection that she had said for Titus. “May we meet again.”

She felt a warmth, a tingling, as the soul she had collected moved on. She wasn’t sure what it meant to be the Catalyst of Life, but she hoped by releasing Ontari’s soul that maybe one day there would be a new life for the girl; one that was filled with happiness and love, not one full of pain and hate.

When she stood and saw Lexa, tears started to stream down her face. Lexa didn’t say anything. She opened her arms and welcomed her wife into them. 

It was Anya who came up behind them who spoke first. “You did what you had to, Wanheda. You could have left her to suffer for eternity, but you didn’t, and someday, be it tomorrow or in a thousand years, she will have the chance at a new and better life. What you just did was not selfish, it was selfless.”

“Thank you, fos.”

When Clarke finally got a good look at Lexa, she whimpered, and her hands started to fly over the alpha’s body. The Commander was covered in blood, black and red.

“Most of it isn’t mine, ai hodnes. Ai swega kiln (I swear).” Lexa grimaced when Clarke’s fingers grazed over the area where she had been shot. The black blood was starting to seep through the field dressing Gustus had put on it earlier.

“You’re hurt.” Clarke’s voice waivered, but the with a hard edge to it, she said, “Who did this to you? If they aren’t dead, I will kill them.”

“It was an alpha named Kyle Wick. He hid like a coward in one of the guard towers, and then when the fighting was over, he took a shot at Heda.” Indra reported how she shot him with an arrow, and that he was awaiting punishment. He had already been tied to a tree.

“Who dressed it for you?” Clarke needed to know.

“I did, Wanheda.” Gustus moved so he was standing in front of the blonde, and a bark of laughter escaped him when she launched herself into his arms.

“Thank you for taking care of her, Gusgus.” The man chuckled at his new nickname.

“The bullet is still in her arm,” Raven informed her, and Clarke paled, “but don’t worry, Bellamy took one of the Rovers and is collecting your mother as we speak. She’s bringing the tools she needs to take it out.”

Clarke spun back to her wife. “Is that the only place you were hurt?”

“Sha, my love.”

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand and stayed as close to her as she possibly could. She noticed Raven doing the same with Anya. She knew there was a lot that she missed, and she needed to be caught up, but she enjoyed the silence of the forest for a few minutes.

It wasn’t too long before they arrived at the horses. Lexa helped Clarke onto hers so that she was in front of the alpha. 

Clarke smiled as Anya and Raven argued who would sit in front. In the end, Raven won the argument to sit behind Anya. She insisted she needed to be behind her to protect Anya’s back. It seemed Anya’s surliness was returning, and she was no longer enjoying being fussed over.

On the ride back, Clarke finally found her words. She was thinking about Ontari, but she knew it was an issue she needed to let go of. She leaned her head back so that it rested on Lexa’s shoulder. “How did you know where to find me?”

Lexa tilted her head and ran her nose up and down Clarke’s soft cheek. “I could feel you; everything you were feeling I was feeling, and even though I couldn’t see through your eyes, it was almost like you, or your emotions, were leading me where I needed to go. I don’t know how to explain it. I couldn’t smell what you smelled, but I could feel your memory of how this part of the forest smells, and then I felt your joy at seeing how much the baby Pauna had grown. I knew that was what it was because I had felt it before.” Lexa shook her head. “I’m not explaining myself well.”

Clarke tilted her head so that she could kiss Lexa’s neck. “I think you are doing a great job, and whatever it was you were experiencing, I am glad you did. I think she would have shot me if you hadn’t been there.”

Clarke started to fidget on the saddle. It had been too long since she had taken the tea that was helping to suppress her heat, and having Lexa’s entire front pressed against her back was making her feel things that she didn’t have time to feel. They needed to deal with the aftermath of the battle before she could let her body succumb to its natural rhythms. 

“Clarke,” Lexa began to fidget as well, “you need to stop that if you don’t want to spend the next week in a cave until your heat and my rut go away, and I don’t know about you, but I have had enough of caves for the time being.”

Clarke blushed. She knew she was transmitting her scent to Lexa, and probably to the others around her. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly.

“Nyko will have our tea waiting when we get back to camp.”

“Good. So how many are dead? Did you kill Jaha?” Clarke wanted to know, but at the same time she didn’t.

“We lost thirty-three men, and it is probably easier for me to tell you how many of Skaikru live as opposed to how many have been killed.”

“That bad, huh?” Clarke sighed. She knew it was going to be bad. While she hoped that there would be more, it didn’t surprise the omega, not in the least, that so few of her people remained. Not like they had ever really been her people. They were people who believed themselves superior to others all because something in their biology made it possible for them to overwhelm others. There was nothing in them that mandated that they had to use their pheromones to make other submit to their will. It was a choice to act the way they did. Just as Ontari chose to act the way she did, although, in Ontari’s defense, she had been tortured, broken, most of her life. That would drive anyone to lash out, but the people from space, they’d had a choice.

“Too many supported Jaha and his ways. Ninety-one members of Skaikru remain. That number excludes you and Raven, but it does include the delinquents who came to Polis, and a surprising number of them who had been imprisoned by Jaha.

We found most of them crammed into the Ark’s old Skybox. Kane was in a cell with nine other people. They could barely sit without being on top of one another.” Lexa paused and looked sad. “It was your old cell that we found them in. Your drawings were still there, niron.” Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke and pulled her impossibly closer. “It was such a tiny room. I don’t know how you survived by yourself for so long.”

Clarke closed her eyes, remembering her cell and how small it was. That Jaha had shoved so many people in it was undeniably cruel. “Maybe I survived because one day I knew I would be with you.”

Lexa couldn’t hide her smile. “Maybe so. All I know is that I am so happy you did.”

They rode a little further before Lexa spoke again. “I must warn you; it’s going to be disturbing for you to see Arkadia. The bodies are being moved, but there is no way that all of them will be gone. You don’t have to return there if you do not wish to see it. The aftermath of battle is always hard to see.”

“No. I suppose I need to see it. I am the Commander of Death. I guess that means I should get used to seeing it.” Clarke signed.

“Klark, you will not ever get used to seeing it, nor should you ever. If death has no worth, then life has no meaning.”

They continued back to Arkadia, and Lexa told Clarke that seven additional grounders had been found, also locked in the Skybox. All of them had been treated terribly, and all of them had been chipped. Their relocation to the camp had been urgent so that Nyko and those from Floukru could start treating them.

Clarke took her turn to speak and relayed everything Ontari had told her, and it made Lexa shiver. Next to them Raven had a shit eating grin spread across her face despite how disturbing the information was that Clarke just relayed to them.

“So, my theory about Nia using the chips on Ontari was correct. I am a genius, and I am powerful. Clarkey, you should have seen those fuckers in the control room bow to me. It might have felt better than making something go boom.”

“Don’t call me Clarkey,” the omega growled. 

“I kind of like it, niron.” Lexa pointed out.

“Alright then, Raven, you have permission to call my wife Lexie any time you want.”

Raven cackled. 

“Touché, ai houmon. Raven, you do not have permission to give me or my mate nicknames. If you do, we may find ourselves alone together in the woods again.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” Raven saluted until she got an elbow in her gut from Anya. “Ooof. Alright, it’s just that I can’t help it if for the first time in my life I was able to make those asshats on the Ark feel just a little of what we all felt when treated us like shit. It felt good knowing I can protect myself and that I can now protect others. I’ve never felt like that before.”

Anya leaned back and stole a quick kiss from her mate. “I know I gripe about it, but you should know that I think it is sexy that you can protect me so well.”

Raven straightened up at this loud declaration from her pregnant wife. “Uh, Heda, I would like to request permission to take my mate into those trees over there and make her scream until even the birds have to fly away.”

Anya’s face froze and she suddenly resembled a beet. Seeing this Indra almost fell of her horse she was laughing so hard. 

Lexa simply rolled her eyes at Raven and Anya’s antics. “Go. Be back within two hours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that is that. Ontari is no more. I so want to hear what you think about her demise.
> 
> Also, I am going toot my own horn for a minute. I decided to search The 100, Clarke Griffin/Lexa and then edited my search to show me the most popular stories by kudos in descending order. I was looking to see if I had read all those amazing stories and found that the first multi-chapter story I wrote, You Will Be Happy Tomorrow, is in the top 1% of those fics. I was floored. I never realized. It's a story so near and dear to my heart, and I am so late to the game that I was shocked to see where that story landed. Anyway, forgive me for gushing.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos last chapter. Every one of them made my week.

Chapter 40

There may have been some levity toward the end of their journey back to Arkadia, but the mood was decidedly somber when they finally returned. It made sense that they would use humor as a way to distract themselves from the upcoming tasks, but their jovial moods dissipated as soon as they saw the grim sight before them.

Clarke gasped before running to vomit into a bush. Never before had she seen such carnage. There were still dead bodies everywhere. Lexa’s fallen warriors were in the midst of being transported back to the camp at the blockade. A pyre would be built for each one of them. The massive number of Skaikru could not be handled so easily. 

The omega held a hand to her nose as she surveyed the loss of human life before her. The smell of blood, urine, and fear filled the air, and it was nearly overwhelming to her sensitive nose. A hand on her shoulder startled her so badly she jumped. There was so much noise and distraction that Clarke hadn’t sensed anyone coming up behind her. 

“Sweetheart, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Mom.” Clarke was in her mother’s arms in an instant. Just being able to bury her nose in her mom’s shirt helped ease her growing sense of anxiety. As she looked around, she realized that she was looking at the end of an era. The Ark was no more. Sure, the structure that had fallen to the ground still remained, but most of its occupants did not. Ninety-one people. That was it. The rest of them had fallen prey to Jaha’s manipulations, and it had cost them their lives. They had so staunchly held onto the old ways, instead of adopting new ones upon arriving on the ground, that they chose to fight and die instead of trying to change and live. It was unbearably sad.

Abby pulled away after a few moments and handed something to Clarke. “Put some of this under your nose. It will help you cope with the smell.”

Clarke opened the jar and sniffed. She jerked it away from nose with a rapidity that surprised her mother. Whatever it was brought tears to her eyes.

“Careful, honey, it’s menthol. Nyko gave it to me to give to you.”

Clarke recapped the jar and handed it back to her mom. “I can’t.” Tears were still leaking from her eyes. “It’s too strong. I think even if I use only a little, it will give me a headache.”

Abby looked thoughtfully at Clarke. The older alpha was holding herself together remarkably well despite the destruction of her people and her old way of life literally lying at her feet. “Okay.” She pocketed the jar. “If it gets to be too much, go to the medical wing. It’s empty. There aren’t any survivors to treat, and everyone who was found in the Skybox has already been moved out of Arkadia. No one wanted to stay.”

“Why should I go to medical?” It was the last place Clarke wanted to go, not when she’d had to recover there after being shot full of arrows; not after what Jaha had done to her there.

“First, because it is empty, like I said, but more importantly because it’s a negative pressure room. There will be no odors there. You will be able to clear your nose.”

Clarke hugged her mom again, changing the subject from her overwrought senses. “That girl, Ontari. I caused her death today.” The omega didn’t regret her decision, but it was the first life lost that she was solely responsible for. The three hundred that died in the ring of fire didn’t count. That had been done during war. Sure, the battle that had just occurred could be considered war, but that’s not how she felt about what happened with Ontari. That had been different, and it had her feeling conflicted.

Abby squeezed her harder. “It won’t get easier, Clarke. You are Wanheda now, and for all intents and purposes, you are the queen to all these people.” 

Clarke shook her head. She did not want to be thought of as a queen.

Abby went on. “With that comes great responsibility, and I’m afraid that responsibility is just beginning.” Abby looked over to where Kyle Wick was tied to a tree. “They were waiting for you to begin his punishment.”

Clarke looked at the man. She remembered him, unlike many of the people she saw lying dead on the ground. He worked with Raven, and he was an engineer if she remembered correctly. He hadn’t ever been mean to her, but he hadn’t ever been nice either. It was more that he treated her as if she didn’t exist, and maybe that was worse. She hadn’t even been worthy of his attention, good or bad.

Lexa walked up to them. “It’s time for us to begin his punishment.” She still had the bullet in her shoulder. There hadn’t been time yet for Abby to remove it.

“What about Jaha and the others?” Clarke asked.

“They have been uncomfortably secured and are awaiting our judgment,” Lexa stated matter-of-factly. 

“Why is Wick’s punishment already decided, but theirs is not?” Clarke asked. She figured that they would already have Jaha and his ilk strung up alongside Kyle.

“The young man directly attacked Heda,” Indra offered like that explained it all.

Confusion must have crossed over Clarke’s face because Gustus went onto explain. “Thelonius Jaha has committed atrocious crimes, but he did not directly attack Heda.”

Clarke was completely affronted by this. “He attacked me,” she yelled, “and he may not have killed me, but what he did was worse. I felt dead inside. I felt empty, and there was…there was…” 

Gustus swept Clarke into his arms. Her yoyoing emotions were getting the better of her but being engulfed in the burly man’s arms helped her calm down, but only some.

On the way back to Arkadia from the Pauna’s feeding grounds, Lexa had explained that Kyle Wick would die by Wamplei kom Thauz Kodon (death by a thousand cuts). Clarke had naively thought that Jaha and the others would receive the same treatment.

Lexa explained that before Wanheda, after all cuts had been made, Heda would make the last cut. It would be a killing blow, but now that the Commander of Death had arrived, that duty fell to Clarke, as it also fell to her to decide if the punished person’s spirit or soul would move on to the next life. Lexa would now be making the first cut.

Clarke’s world had almost spun out of control then, right on top of the horse she was riding. Raven and Anya had already ridden off to have their tryst in the trees, so in front of Gustus, Indra, and Lexa, Clarke had nearly had a meltdown. She was barely recovered from having offered up Ontari as the Pauna’s supper, and now she was hearing that she would have to kill Kyle Wick and any others going forward who committed a capital offense.

So not only was she someone who could turn into a wolf, something no one else could do, but she was also now an enforcer. Turning into a wolf was something she had finally come to accept. She even enjoyed it, but to have to stand by while another person was cut to ribbons to then have to finish them off with her own blade; it wasn’t something Clarke thought she could do. 

Gustus had to help her off her horse then. She was hyperventilating as a hurricane of emotions swamped her. Just because she was the Commander of Death didn’t mean that she wanted to participate in it. Perhaps she understood on some other level that she would have to participate in Kyle Wick’s death, and that of Jaha and his cronies, but after that, she wanted to be done. 

She had turned toward the trees longing for the silence they contained. She had wanted to shift and run away into the forest. She needed time, but she knew it wasn’t something had. She needed to return to Arkadia and help with the aftermath of the battle. She never imagined that by helping, she would be helping to put someone to death. 

Lexa had been about to pull her aside, but Indra gave Heda a look that had the Commander stepping back and deferring to the older woman.

The warrior took Clarke to a rock large enough to rest upon and bade her to take a seat. She sat close enough to the omega that the blonde was able to catch her warm beta scent. The dark-skinned woman placed a hand on Clarke’s knee, and for a few minutes, she didn’t say anything. She used her presence next to the omega to calm the unsettled girl down. 

“I know this is a lot for you to take in, and that this is not the life you saw for yourself, but I can assure you, no leader can ever foresee the things they will have to do,” Indra started.

“I am not a leader. I don’t want to be a leader,” Clarke protested.

“I know. Even with her black blood, Heda never wanted to be a leader, not at first, yet here she is, and she is the best Commander the clans have ever known. Just like her, you were born to be a leader, and the best leaders are always the unwilling ones.” Indra turned to look more directly at Clarke. “The unwilling ones never get fully comfortable in their positions, and certainly, they never get comfortable taking a life. Life is precious, but sometimes someone does something so heinous that the person no longer deserves their life. Sometimes what they have done is so terrible that it is deemed too dangerous for that life to move onto the next, but other times, even though the crime may be a grievous one, that life is redeemable, and that person should be allowed to move onto the next life.” 

Indra patted Clarke’s knee. “It’s hard to accept, I know it is, but those decisions now fall to you. You are Wanheda, and you must allow the spirit to guide you. You will always make the right decisions.”

“But I don’t want to kill anyone.” Clarke’s blue eyes were glassy with barely contained emotions.

“Except for those aberrant few who enjoy killing, no one ever does, but this is life on the ground, and sometimes we are forced to take a life, but remember this: it is the actions of the person being killed that leads to their death. They are at fault for their own demise. They make the decisions they do, not you. You are simply the person responsible for making the person pay for those decisions.”

Indra stood then and faced Clarke. “You also need to remember that there will be times that you get to spare someone their life, and there will be times, like with Titus, where you help a potentially trapped soul move on. With the things that you need to do that you think are bad, there will be so many more things that you have to do that are good.” 

Indra had helped Clarke come to terms with what she would have to do, and she had resigned herself to it, even accepting the fact that she would be the one to bring about the end of Kyle Wick, but she was still confused as to why Jaha and the others would face a different punishment. She said as much as soon as she realized that they were not tied to poles like the engineer.

Lexa, who’d had to restrain herself from whisking her mate away from all of this, knelt in front of Clarke. “An enemy who attacks Heda, is brought to immediate justice. Not only is it a show of strength, as gruesome as it might sound, it boosts the morale of the men who fight for me…and now for you.” She looked up at the omega. “People like Jaha are much worse than someone like the man Wick. They manipulate; they twist things up so that they can get others to do their bidding. People like Arkadia’s newest Chancellor have usually committed atrocious crimes, but sometimes their deaths are not immediately warranted.”

“But why not?” Clarke was feeling the overwhelming need for a hug from her mate and for all of this to just be over with.

“Because their punishment needs to not be as easy as Wick’s.” Lexa said.

“Death by a thousand cuts is not easy.” Clarke shook her head in disbelief.

Lexa closed her eyes. She was not explaining herself well. “You are correct, it isn’t, but for someone like Jaha, do you really think that he shouldn’t pay even more for the crimes he committed? He stole something precious from you by forcing you to take that chip. What if we hadn’t been able to find a way to overcome it? What if we hadn’t found a way to overcome him?” Lexa stood and started to pace. “He would keep using those chips. We are lucky that only you and fourteen others were subjected to that.” She turned and finally stopped, fully facing Clarke now. “He almost got away with stealing that which is most precious to you. He may have gotten away with it if we can’t find a way to help the others. Do you really want his punishment to be over with in a mere matter of hours, or do you think that perhaps he should suffer a little in this life before he moves onto the next, provided he is given the honor of moving on by the great Wanheda.”

Clarke finally understood. There needed to be a reckoning. Past deeds needed to be avenged, and that wouldn’t happen if Jaha, Diana Sydney, Hannah Green, and Commander Shumway were put to death right away. It wasn’t easy, but she put them out of her head so that she could focus on the task at hand. It wasn’t going to be easy, but she had a different person she needed to focus on. 

She looked up at Kyle Wick who was strapped to the stout wooden pole, and for one brief second Clarke wondered why the pole was called a tree and not just a pole. She shook her head. She watched Wick. He was a blubbering mess. He was upset that he had gotten caught, and he was upset that he had failed to kill his target, and a rage that built within Clarke like she had never felt before, not even when Ontari had threatened her mate. 

Kyle Wick had shot her houmon (spouse/wife). He didn’t participate in the battle. He hid until the chaos was over and took a cowardly shot. It was Gustus, who had pushed Lexa partially out of the way, that saved her life.

The fury built inside Clarke as she watched Lexa calmly walk up to the man who had recently tried to kill her. Through his tears, Wick spewed obscenities at the Commander. His language was so fowl that even some of the members of Trikru waiting to take their turn at him turned to look at one another in surprise and then anger. They began to chant jus drein jus daun (blood must have blood) and stomp their feet, encouraging their commander to slice the man deep.

Clarke felt some satisfaction as she watched the alpha tied to the pole go deathly white in fear. It seemed the situation Kyle was in had finally sunk in. He went still in his bonds as Lexa got close to him. She made a show of pulling her sword out of its scabbard, making sure the sun glinted off the blade. The deadly sharp edge was glaringly visible.

The engineer spit in Lexa’s face then, and Clarke wanted to roar, but she mimicked her mate and kept her calm. She watched as Heda leaned in to whisper something in his ear, and his pale face got impossibly whiter. 

With spit still dripping down her face, she deliberately placed her blade against the alpha’s bare chest. She dragged it slowly, using every inch of the sword to make a slow, deep slice. 

The man wailed. 

This went on for an hour, although it was only ten minutes before the alpha tied to the tree went silent. After seventy-six cuts had been made it was clear to everyone that Kyle Wick wasn’t going to survive until even the one hundredth cut let alone one thousand. The grounders present taunted the man and called him weak, but it was to no avail. Wick was breathing but he did not stir. 

Clarke braced herself for what she was about to do. She pulled out the dagger that Lexa had given her shortly before the cutting started. It was the same dagger Lexa had always used to take the final cut that would end the life of a person being executed by Wamplei kom Thauz Kodon. The surprisingly plain weapon fit perfectly in Clarke’s hand. It was hers now. It would never be wielded by another for this purpose.

She walked up to the bloodied alpha. His eyes were closed, but they slowly opened when she lifted his chin. He had just enough energy to scowl at her. “This is your fault, omega cunt.”

Until that point, Clarke had been struggling with what to do with the man, but with those last words he had sealed his fate. She took the six-inch blade and thrust it into his chest. His eyes bulged before his entire body went limp as the dagger pierced his heart. He was dead within seconds. 

Before she could think too much about it, she walked away. Kyle Wick would not be moving onto the next life.

As she walked by the men, they all bowed. She could hear them praising her and calling her Wanheda. She held herself erect and kept her head high as she passed them. Lexa was waiting for her, and together, they walked out of Arkadia. The fate of Jaha and the others would have to wait until tomorrow.

Three days later, they were standing on the outskirts of the forest. Before Clarke and Lexa stood the four Arkadians accused of so many crimes they were too many to count.

Raven had hacked into the computer systems of the Ark and found an entire laundry list of things Jaha had been doing to the people of the Ark. It seemed that Theolonius enjoyed keeping a diary of his exploits. He also catalogued every idea that he’d ever had for taking out those who opposed him, and of course, how to destroy the grounder barbarians. 

He had gleefully written about how he had forced the chip on the weak and pathetic omega bitch who everyone had been doting upon and had been undermining his wondrous return from the dead. His people had thought him dead, and when he arrived in Camp Jaha (which he was pissed was renamed Arkadia shortly after his arrival), he had hoped for glory to be bestowed upon him, but instead the return of the little blonde bitch ruined everything. Abby and those mongrel grounders had come racing into Arkadia with the gravely injured omega, and immediately all attention turned to her. The fucking omega was unworthy of the attention and medical supplies wasted on her. The attention was supposed to be his. 

He stupidly wrote out, in all the glorious details, what he had done to Clarke; how he had used Shumway and Jackson to force her to take the chip to his never-ending delight at watching the light in the omega’s eyes fade as the chip did its work. He wrote about how he couldn’t wait to start shoving more chips down more throats, be it the grounders, or the people who opposed him. 

His journals were lengthy and damning. Lexa had only read some and knew that Jaha’s death could not come easily.

Shumway and Sydney weren’t much better. They were eager participants in what had happened while the Ark was still in the sky and after it crashed to the ground. Their fates were also sealed, but that of Hannah Green was not. 

Jaha detailed every bit of her downfall, how he had manipulated her and forced her to do things against her will. He enjoyed destroying his fellow alphas, the ones he thought weaker than himself. To destroy Hannah, he used her son, Monty, against her.

First, he promised Hannah that he would make sure Monty received special treatment if she did his bidding, but then he promised starvation and torture of the omega if she didn’t toe the line he set before her. 

Hannah Green had never wanted to do the things she did, but Jaha had forced her. Everything she had ever done had been coerced. She didn’t know it yet, but her crimes would be forgiven. She would have to make up for her actions, but she would be allowed to live. The others would not.

Lexa took a step toward the prisoners. Clarke stepped with her. The pair was an intimidating sight. Both wore armor and were heavily laden with weapons. The war paint adorning their faces was especially menacing. Lexa held Wanheda’s helmet under an arm.

Three of the prisoners looked cowed by the display, but Jaha did not. He sneered at them. “You think that because you can play dress up that we will be afraid of you? You are nothing but savages, and you don’t even know it, plus the breeder next to you isn’t even an omega anymore. I made sure of that.”

Lexa knocked him flat on his ass with a burst of pheromones. The others were allowed to remain standing for now. She walked over to the man who was on his hands and knees and used her booted foot to knock one of his arms out from under him causing him to face plant in the dirt.

She let up on her pheromones and allowed him to rise to his knees. He was spitting mad. Beside him, the others looked on in fear.

“You and your companions have been sentenced to death,” Heda stated flatly.

They all gasped but none cried, none except Hannah. She started to weep. 

“You have all committed crimes that warrant your deaths a thousand times over, but unfortunately, you can only die once. If I had my way, you would spend the next ten years doing hard labor before being put on the tree, but Wanheda has decided on something a little different for each of you.

Clarke stepped forward. She approached Hannah first. She placed her hand on Hannah’s cheek and the woman shuddered. “Your crimes have been forgiven. We’ve read Jaha’s journals, and we know what he did to both you and Monty. You will return to Polis, and you will be allowed to live out your life with your son if he will have you, but you will make up for every crime that you were a part of. You have been sentenced to work for the next five years in the Polis Tower; our home. You will do as you are told, without complaint, and at the end of the five years, you will be free to do as you please, or you can remain on as a servant in the Tower, making fair wages with a home to call your own.”

Hanna fell to her knees, fat tears falling from her eyes. The relief pouring off her was palpable. “Thank you Wanheda. Heda, thank you. I won’t let you down.”

Gustus moved to help the alpha off her knees and escorted Hannah away from the other three. Monty was waiting for his mother about a half mile away.

Lexa took in the other three. Shumway looked as if he thought perhaps he too would get out of his death. This would not be the case.

“You three will not be receiving the traditional death of Wamplei kom Thauz Kodon. No, Wanheda has something different in mind.” Lexa paused for effect. “She has proposed a hunt. She and I alone will hunt you through the forest. You will have a thirty minute head start, and if by nightfall, we have not found you, you are free to live your lives somewhere outside Trikru lands, but know this, if you are found, we will kill you.”

A smile crept onto the prisoners’ faces, convinced that a half hour would give them the head start they needed to get away.

Jaha, who just couldn’t help himself said, “So this was the breeder’s idea? Wanheda, what a farce. You expect us to believe the stories? Those were just propaganda to get your people to do your bidding.” He barked out a laugh. “Your omega is a joke. Hell, she’s not even an omega anymore.”

Beside her, Lexa barely felt the shift in the air before Wanheda was standing next to her in all her glory. Before Jaha and the others could even gasp, the wolf had ripped the head off Shumway’s body. The corpse landed on the ground with a satisfying thump. Wanheda spit the head out at Jaha’s feet.

One look at the great white wolf had Diana Sydney begging for her life from her knees. Jaha was too stunned to move.

Clarke lowered her head so that Lexa could reach up and place her helmet on her head. 

“I think Wanheda would beg to differ with your last words.” 

Wanheda was an impressive sight to behold, but once her helmet was placed on her head, she was downright frightening. It finally got into Thelonius Jaha’s thick head that he was completely and totally fucked.

Golden eyes took in the man as she slowly inched her head forward until there was barely any space between Jaha’s head and her teeth. She raised her lips in a snarl, exposing each sharp fang that still dripped with the blood from Shumway’s decapitation. Gratification passed through her when Jaha started to tremble.

She let out a growl when Jaha tried to defend himself by trying to use his pheromones on her. Had she been standing there in her human form; it might have worked. Clarke could feel a tingling sensation on her skin, but the sensation was nothing more than a nuisance. She shook it off, and as much as she wanted to toy with him, it was time to get their punishment over with. 

Clarke and Lexa had thought long and hard about how to punish the fallen leaders of the Ark. They had even considered shoving a chip down each of their throats so that they could feel exactly what it was that Clarke, and the fourteen others went through. 

Lexa was all for this plan, and initially, Clarke had been too, but the omega realized that it wouldn’t be justice they would get by doing this, it would be petty revenge. She also thought of Ontari, and what she had been put through with the chips. The omega from Azgeda may have been evil, but she had been made that way, and part of that had been because of the chips’ influence on her. As much as she wanted revenge, she could not bring herself to do the same thing that had been done to her.

In the end, the decision was made to destroy all but a handful of the chips. The rest had been given to Raven for her to study with Monty and Jacapo Sinclair in an effort first to possibly aid in the treatment of the other people who had ingested the chips, and second to try and understand them better.

They realized that Ontari, having ingested so many of the chips, had somehow been able to use the technology within them to subtly persuade others to do her bidding. Had she had more time in Arkadia, it was perfectly possible that she might have been able to use her new abilities to completely take over the population. 

It was a frightening thought, knowing that if that had happened, she could have had a highly suggestible army at her back.

Raven had said it would be like a zombie apocalypse. When none of the grounders except Anya knew what that meant, she promised that when they got back to Polis, they would have a movie night featuring all the best zombie movies.

Anya, who Raven had recently made watch Resident Evil, paled. She would never admit it out loud, but the movie had scared the skrish (shit) out of her, and she made Raven promise to never show their pup. Raven of course had cackled and made the promise, but she had her fingers crossed behind her back when she made it. 

In the end, it was Clarke’s idea to have the hunt. Maybe it too was petty revenge, but if their prisoners were smart, there was the chance that they would survive. That was enough for Clarke to justify the idea in her head. She hadn’t wanted to be the type of person who stooped to revenge, but when it came to Jaha, she had a hard time being objective. Maybe it wasn’t true, but Clarke felt like every bad thing that had ever happened in her life all stemmed from him, and she was going to enjoy hunting him through the forest.

Sitting on her haunches, Clarke howled.

“That’s your cue to start running,” Lexa growled out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I always want to know what you think. Let me have it.
> 
> As for this chapter, I had to split it in two because it got too long, but that means it hopefully won't take me too long to post the next one.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response to last chapter was amazing. I can't tell you how much the kudos, and especially the comments meant to me. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter just as much.

Chapter 41

Sitting on her haunches, Clarke howled.

“That’s your cue to start running,” Lexa growled out.

*****

Diana didn’t miss a beat. She was on her feet and sprinting into the woods before Lexa even finished the sentence. 

Jaha blinked stupidly and almost looked like he wanted to argue or try and make a deal, but a sharp bark from Clarke had him sprinting in the opposite direction of Diana Sydney.

Clarke watched them run. She sidled over to Lexa and rested her giant chin on the top of the alpha’s head. Heda reached up to touch her, and the pakstoka (wolf) started to purr. 

“Who should we go after first?” Lexa queried.

Clarke tipped her head in the direction of Diana. She wanted that death to be over with quickly. It had already been decided that once they found the woman, she would be Heda’s to kill. 

Shumway was supposed to have been given his chance to run, but Clarke’s anger had gotten the best of her. Later she would rebuke herself for losing control. It didn’t matter now; the man was dead.

Jaha was another story. Clarke wanted to enjoy the hunt. She knew that it was messed up, but he had messed her up, so she felt it was fair. He might not be feeling what the chip had done to her, but he would feel the very real terror she had felt first when she was alone in the woods the initial time she had turned into the wolf, and then again when he had taken her omega way from her. Fear was fear, and she wanted him to feel it. 

She also wanted him to feel what it was like to have someone lord over him. He had been good at lording over others. It was time he got a taste of his own medicine. She wanted him to be scared. She wanted him to be helpless, and most of all she wanted him to feel what it was like to be a part of something that was completely out of his control.

His death hadn’t been decided upon yet. When they found him, it might be Lexa who killed him, or it might be Clarke. 

“The thirty minutes is up Heda and Wanheda,” Gustus announced. He had safely delivered Hannah Green to her son, and they were already on their way back to Polis.

Lexa mounted Horus. She would not be riding on Clarke’s back for this wild ride. The omega had wanted the alpha on her, but Heda had refused. The forest had already been scouted, and it was free of any hidden surprises or enemies. It was clear of danger, and Clarke would be able to run as freely and as fast as she wanted. 

They were meting out a punishment, but there was no reason that Clarke couldn’t use part of the time to embrace who she truly was and run if she wanted to and run she did. 

Before taking off, she lifted her nose to scent the air. She hurtled herself into the trees and began to hunt her prey. It didn’t take her long to find Diana. The woman had barely left the confines of the Ark once it had fallen to the ground. She was a powerful alpha, and she used it to her advantage to get the things she wanted. She had never bothered to explore her new world and make sure she could survive on her own. She used others to ensure her survival. 

They found the pitiful woman hiding under a log. She hadn’t even made it more than a mile away, and she was so lost in her own terror that she hadn’t heard Clarke’s approach until the wolf was using her enormous paw to send the log the alpha was hiding under flying into a nearby tree, making the woman scream.

She had tried to scramble to her feet then, but Wanheda easily pinned her down. Her paw only lifted when Lexa finally caught up. 

Heda commanded the other alpha to stand, and Clarke was surprised when Diana listened. All fear had drained from the woman, and a look of resignation took over her features. 

Lexa didn’t bother wasting words on the woman. She wasn’t worth the energy. Instead, Lexa hit her with everything she had. The pheromone blast was so pointed and focused, Clarke wasn’t even aware of it, but the other alpha certainly was. 

Diana Sydney was back on her knees, but she couldn’t maintain that position for long under the onslaught of power Heda was using on her. Soon she was having to hold herself up with her hands. All the while, she was tilting her neck in submission to Lexa. 

It didn’t matter. Lexa didn’t let up. Bright red blood began to leak from Sydney’s eyes, nose, and ears. With a concerted effort, Lexa put even more of herself into making this woman submit.

Clarke watched on with horrified fascination. Lexa wasn’t going to use a physical weapon to kill their enemy. She was going to use nothing but the innate power within herself to do it. She was going to use dominance and nothing else. It was amazing to the omega that she couldn’t sense Lexa’s pheromones at all.

Diana’s eyes began to bug out. The trickles of blood running down her face and head increased to a steady flow, and with one last push of pheromones from Lexa, the alpha snapped her own neck. She collapsed at Heda's feet. The woman was dead without a single weapon being drawn.

That wasn’t true. Lexa was the weapon, and Clarke had a newfound respect for the frightening amount of power her mate had. Clarke could turn into a wolf, and she had the brute force and strength that came with that, but Lexa was something else entirely. She had cunning, strategy, logic, and superior fighting skills on her side as well as her pure, unadulterated power. Not only did she have that, but she also had an unyielding control of her strength, and Clarke thought, not for the first time, that it was a good thing that Lexa used her powers for good. If she were like Ontari, Nia, or Jaha, the world would be a very dark place.

Lexa stumbled back as soon as the woman fell completely to the ground. She put both hands over her face.

“What have I done?” Never before had Lexa been able to do that, and she was shocked and appalled by her actions. 

Sensing Lexa’s distress, Clarke shifted. “Hey, I know what you are thinking. You did nothing wrong.” The blonde pulled Lexa into her. Heda didn’t have any words. “Her death was imminent. That you chose to use pheromones instead of a knife doesn’t make it any less justified.” Lexa shook her head where it rested in the crook of Clarke’s neck.

Wanheda hugged Heda until the alpha was ready to let her go. Clarke knew they would be talking about what Lexa had just done long into the night. Now, however, it was time to go after Jaha. The blonde took Lexa’s face in both her hands.

“We have a job to do, so I am going to need you to get out of the pretty little head of yours. We will consider what just happened later, okay.”

The mask of Heda returned before Clarke had even finished speaking. “You’re right. Let’s get this over with. I want to finish it and go home.”

Nodding, Clarke shifted and stuck her nose to the ground. At first, she couldn’t catch Jaha’s scent. Having gone in the opposite direction of Diana Sydney, that made sense, so she loped back to where they started. 

She did catch his scent then, and it led them far into the forest. Clarke had to admit, Jaha had already gotten pretty far away. His thirty minutes, plus the time it took to deal with his cohort, gave him enough time to get several miles away. 

His path was not a winding one like the one Ontari had set when she had led Clarke and Lexa through the woods; his was direct. He knew exactly where he was going; unfortunately for him, where he was going was just too far away, and Clarke was just too fast. 

Once she had his scent, she barreled forward, leaving Lexa to gallop behind her on Horus. She raced through the woods to catch up to him. Jaha was taking the fastest route he could back to Sangedakru, but he was no match for Wanheda. 

Once she got close, she purposefully slowed herself. She made her presence known to him by howling into the air. She wanted Jaha to know she was close and getting closer. She wanted him to feel the fear of running in the forest knowing he had no way to escape. She wanted him to feel helpless. She wanted him to feel alone.

She toyed with him a bit. She would get close to him, letting him know she was hot on his tail, only to back off, making him think she had lost the trail. She did this for over an hour until Lexa rode up next to her and told her it was time to end his fight. 

Clarke was having fun, and she wished Lexa could read her thoughts, because if the alpha could, she would know she was a spoilsport. At the same time, she knew Lexa was right to end it. The hunt wasn’t meant to be fun. When all was said and done, another life would be over, and it would be a direct result of her actions. If she started having too much fun with it, what’s to say she wouldn’t continue to want the same kind of fun to the point of craving the hunt?

The wolf shook off that thought. That was not something she would ever want, and instantly her demeanor changed. She hardened her resolve to finish the hunt, and once again she sprinted forward, leaving Lexa to catch up. 

It took less than five minutes to catch up to the man. He was making a desperate attempt to open the hatch of a hidden fallout shelter. He had a long metal pipe that he was using to try and pry the door open, but it was no use. The entrance was rusted shut, and the Ark alpha didn’t have the strength to open it. 

In his desperation, he didn’t hear her approaching. Clarke had slowed to a crawl and was silently padding up to him, not making any sounds. When she was about ten feet away, she stopped and waited, knowing it wouldn’t take him long to sense her behind him.

When he did, Clarke could smell the pungent scent of fear rolling off him. Lexa, the omega could sense, was nearby but letting her mate handle this on her own.

Jaha froze. The omega could see the sweat starting to saturate the back of his shirt. He dropped the pipe, slowly raised his hands above his head and turned to face her.

“Ms. Griffin,” he started, but faltered when she started to growl at him. “Wanheda. Do you really want to do this?” He slowly rose to his feet. “If you kill me, you will have committed the genocide of your own people.”

Clarke unhurriedly transformed back into herself so that he could hear every pop and every break. It still hurt like hell to do it slowly. It was why she preferred to shift as quickly as she could, but she wanted Thelonius Jaha to watch, and watch he did with a look of terror on his face.

“Ninety-one members of Skaikru remain,” Clarke said, keeping about ten feet between herself and the man who had made her life a living hell. “I don’t think that qualifies as a genocide.”

“If you kill me, it will be.” Jaha was very sure of himself until Clarke snorted. She could see him bristle. “I am the pillar that kept the Ark from descending into chaos while we were still up in the sky, and without your interference, I would have stayed the pillar that held us up as we took what is rightfully ours.”

“You have a mighty high opinion of yourself,” Clarke said, snorting again. “Without you, all the citizens on the Ark could have lived as equals, but you couldn’t have that, could you? You think yourself as above all of us, but you are mistaken. You think the people who have inhabited this planet for almost one hundred years, while we hid in space, are barbarians, but if you had taken the time to learn, you would have seen that each clan is steeped in culture. These people live rich lives filled with love, laughter, friends, and family. They don’t need power to achieve their goals. They work together to make this world a better place. All you wanted to do was divide us and take advantage of what Earth has to offer its people. If you had your way, you would try to enslave these people just as you essentially enslaved the people of the Ark. You think you are above us all, but what you are is beneath us. You are a bully; one who had to use dominance and promises to get others to do your bidding. You are a coward, Thelonius Jaha, and I cannot let your transgressions against our people or theirs go unpunished for even another minute.”

Clarke shifted as she jumped into the air, surprising Jaha and sending him tumbling backward. She landed with her two front paws straddling his head. She could feel him kicking at her with his legs, but it was completely ineffective. She lowered her head until her teeth were inches from his face, and let her drool coat his forehead and nose. She almost jerked her head back when it reminded her of a scene in one of the Alien movies she watched once long ago with her father. 

She couldn’t force his submission through dominance, but she could through the strength and power she exuded as her wolf. She inched even closer until he exposed his neck to her. She bent down and took the entire thing into her teeth, making sure to just barely puncture his skin.

She realized she would not have to ask Raven about the chip after all. She could taste the metallic remnants of the infernal device on her tongue. She lifted her head once again and stepped back from the fallen alpha. She had to give him credit. He was not begging for his life.

She just stood there, observing him. She could feel him trying to exert control over her, once again, through his pheromones, and she realized that they weren’t as potent as they could have been. She wondered if it had something to do with his mating to Ontari and if the chip was somehow dampening his dominance. She would have to ask Raven.

Jaha narrowed his eyes at her, even as small trickles of blood ran down his neck. Seeing that he could no longer force her to submit to him, he suddenly reached back for the pipe he had been holding earlier and swung it at her, smashing it into her leg.

Clarke yelped. She hadn’t expected him to attack, and it fucking hurt. She swiped at him with her paw and raised her furry eyebrows when he only backed up and threatened to hit her again. He was going to try and go down fighting. Too bad for him it was a fight he was going to lose.

The omega circled him then, staying out of reach of his pipe. She was growling and fighting not to limp. He swung the pipe a few more times, but she stayed just out of reach. Finally, he threw the pipe and it pinged off her armor. He started to run away.

Part of her wolf instinct kicked in, and she pounced, flattening him in the dirt. Without thought, she tore into him. A rage that had been building in her, probably for years, took over her entire being. She bit and clawed and ripped and mauled. She didn’t stop until Lexa was at her side begging her to do just that. Even then, it took Lexa pleading with her for her to realize what she had been doing. 

When she finally stepped back, she was stunned and dismayed at what she had done. Nothing remained of the man that had once been Thelonius Jaha except for a bloody mess of ripped up flesh and bones.

She let out a loud, mournful howl. She had let herself devolve into the animal that she had feared she would become when she had first turned into the wolf. She hadn’t meant to get so angry. She had meant to give Jaha a clean death even though it wasn’t something deserved, but something in her snapped, and she had just taken out every horrible thing that had ever happened to her out on him.

Lexa approached cautiously as she poured out pheromones meant to soothe her upset mate. She could see that Clarke was spooked, and she could also see that the giant wolf wanted to run away.

She put a careful hand on Wanheda’s shoulder. “It’s over, niron.”

Clarke didn’t seem to notice. She was waving her head back and forth as she whimpered.

“Klark, he got what he deserved, just like Diana Sydney did. It may not have ended the way you thought it would, but he has paid for his offenses against you and all the others he has hurt for so long. It was a death befitting his crimes.”

Clarke finally turned toward her, and Lexa had to fight not to gasp. Wanheda’s white fur was covered in blood and gore. It should have been a frightening sight. Instead, it was perhaps the most devastating things she had ever seen. The omega looked miserable, too sad for words. 

Lexa hated that Clarke was feeling regret over her actions, and she knew words were not going to fix this. Instead she walked over and put her arms around as much of Clarke’s wolfy chest as she could. She buried her face in the fur, ignoring the blood that smeared across her face. She nuzzled her nose in the fur until it got to where Clarke’s mating mark would be if she were in human form.

“Ai hod yu in, Klark,” she finally said, while continuing to try and calm her mate with her scent. She hugged her tight, enveloping her in her love. The wolf shuddered and started to shift. It was decidedly the most unusual sensation Lexa had ever experienced; feeling her wife change within her arms. 

Once Clarke had turned, she went limp in Lexa’s arms. Lexa could practically feel every self-doubt Clarke had ever had about herself.

“We have both taken lives today in ways that have shocked us. It feels wrong, but they got what they deserved. In the coming days, we will evaluate what we both did, but right now, Klark, it is time to go home. Wouldn’t you like that?”

Clarke didn’t answer. She only nodded, so Lexa scooped up her wife and carried her toward home. Their worries could be addressed another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a bit shorter than the last, but that's because it was originally one huge chapter that I had to break into two. It was hard to find the perfect spot to break it. 
> 
> Did Jaha get what he deserved?


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a much lighter chapter than the previous ones. Clarke and Lexa finally get to get away from everyone and share their heat/rut. So, that means there is smut in this chapter. I have marked the beginning and end of it with ***** so if smut is not your thing, you can safely read up until you see ***** and after you see it again. 
> 
> Since you have all made it this far, I probably don't need to remind you, but because of her rut, Lexa's anatomy changes. I don't want anyone to be shocked.

Chapter 42

Lexa and her army made haste back to Polis. With the threat from Skaikru and Ontari over, Clarke’s heat came flooding back. Since killing Jaha, Clarke found that even the shortest separation from her mate was unbearable. She found she needed to be in constant contact with her Lexa. Her only choice for getting back to Polis was to run back in her wolf form in order to make the trip as quickly as possible, or to ride on Horus with Lexa. The alpha insisted that Clarke remain with her, so poor Horus had to tolerate having two horny people on his back. Clarke had wanted Lexa to ride on her back, but Lexa needed to be there to usher her men back to Polis. Heda wanted nothing more than to hole herself up in the tower with Clarke, but she had to remind herself that she needed to follow protocol, at least for a little while longer.

The Commander wasn’t in much better shape than her omega. Clarke’s heat was spurring on Lexa’s rut. The last few miles on Horus had been extremely uncomfortable for Lexa despite drinking practically a pint of the suppressing tea. Her length had already grown, and it didn’t help that each step her horse took sent Clarke’s weight into her front. 

If Lexa had her way, she would have whisked Clarke away to a cave or hidden bunker so that she could have her way with the omega, but unfortunately, there was the matter of traveling back to Polis to celebrate their victory over Skaikru. 

Heda and Wanheda still had responsibilities that they needed to attend to before they could shutter themselves up in the tower to spend some quality alone time with each other. For now, their duties had to come first, but only for a little while. Lexa would not make the same mistake she did the first time Clarke went into heat. The consequences of that first time had been devastating for everyone. She would not ever make that mistake again.

Heda groaned. Lexa’s situation wasn’t helped when Clarke purposefully tipped her head back, exposing her scent gland. She could smell her omega’s heat pheromones, and it was driving her crazy, completely overwhelming her senses.

“You need to stop that,” Lexa suggested irritably. Her pants were getting uncomfortably tight, and it had her on edge. Her need for Clarke was getting intolerable. It was lucky that they were only a few miles away. Two or three more hours, and their responsibilities would be over for the next week or so.

“Stop what?” Clarke asked not so innocently.

“You know what,” Lexa grumbled. 

“But I need you, Lex. It burns.” Clarke’s whine had Lexa leaning down and gently nipping at the mark on her mate’s neck. The unexpected moan it elicited had Lexa inadvertently rocking her hips forward.

“A few more hours, Klark,” she nipped once more, “and then I will satisfy all your needs.” She purposefully jerked her hips forward again, and Clarke let out a mewl. “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

The alpha could feel her omega’s trembling need. 

“Clarkey, you are transmitting more powerfully than that radio I am working on.” Raven said from atop her horse. Anya, who was on a horse next to her mate, didn’t seem phased. It was one of the luxuries of being pregnant. The alpha General’s nose might be more attune to her mate and some scents, but the scents of other alphas and omegas had no effect on her. 

It didn’t stop Anya from grinning. “Heda, you would be doing me a great service if you sired a pup this time. I need a pregnancy buddy.”

Lexa chuckled but Clarke narrowed her eyes. She wanted a pup, desperately, but in her desperation, she could not tolerate being teased about it. Anya’s senses may be dampened, but Clarke’s already sensitive ones were now extremely heightened, and the scents of everyone around them was making her nauseous. It was only her alpha’s scent that had kept her from losing her breakfast behind a tree.

She turned her head and growled at Anya. 

“Hey, Fang, don’t growl at my mate,” Raven, who was still far too overprotective, snarled at Clarke.

“Then don’t tease me,” she said through gritted teeth. Clarke’s hands tightened on the reins of the horse. She was feeling just edgy enough that she wouldn’t hesitate to shift and show Raven just how sharp her fangs were. It was unreasonable, but the hormones and pheromones were making it hard to control her emotions.

Bellamy who was riding next to Wells tried to intervene by using his calm beta disposition before things escalated between his two friends. “Heda, maybe a break or some separation would be a good idea.”

“Shut it, Bellamy,” Clarke shouted while Raven yelled, “Butt out, Bellboy, this is none of your business.”

“It is when you are both leaking so many pheromones that the rest of us can barely breathe.” 

It was true. Poor Gustus, Indra, and Wells had their hands up to their noses trying to avoid the stink. Luna seemed unphased, and Roan had a quirky grin on his face. He was entirely too amused by the little spat.

Clarke was about to respond, but Lexa held up her hand. “Em pleni (enough).” She said it calmly as she surveyed the rest of the people in their group. Bellamy was correct. Clarke’s scent might be ambrosia to her, but it was getting the others worked up, and Raven’s caustic protective pheromones were making her nose burn.

If they were going to get through the last few miles of their trip, it would be best if the two mated pairs separated; at least until they hit the city limits. Then they would need to arrive as a unified front.

All it took was Raven and Anya riding a few hundred meters ahead to ease the tension building between the two Skai women. From up ahead, Raven called back. 

“I still love you Wolf Girl.” She began to sing, “Oh wolfy, oh wolfy, ain’t you the one. Oh wolfy, oh wolfy ain’t we got fun. You send the shivers up my spine…”

Clarke snickered and her sour mood evaporated. She remembered the song from an Old Earth cartoon that her father let her watch once. 

“Thanks, Raven,” Clarke called. “I love you too.”

It was Bellamy’s turn to chuckle. “See, that wasn’t so hard was it?”

Clarke merely rolled her eyes at him, glad to have been distracted from her burning need for her mate. She smiled at Echo, who had been riding stoically next to Roan but was giggling; something the Hedas never thought they would see from the woman. Azgeda’s women did not giggle.

When they finally arrived in Polis, the leaders were greeted with a ticker tape Parade. Colorful strips of paper rained down on them as they made their way to the city center. Lexa looked up in awe, the mask of Heda slipping for a minute. Clarke beamed at her. 

“Is this your doing?” Lexa asked.

“Maybe, but really it was just an idea. I might have mentioned it to Gaia in Jasper and Harper’s presence. I think you have those three to thank for this.”

Lexa gave a rare radiant and very public smile. “It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.” She watched as hundreds of people threw the colorful confetti in the air. Luna, and the others were just as enthralled. Luna was attempting to catch as much of the vibrantly colored paper as she could. As it was, her curly auburn hair was already littered with gold, green, pink, and orange.

“Your people love you,” Clarke observed, staring at Lexa hungrily instead of watching the lively stuff fall. 

“They love you too, Wanheda.”

“Yeah, yeah, Claw. We all know they love you. Now can you go make yourself scarce with your mate so the hairs in my nose can grow back? As it is, I am going to have to bathe in lye to get your stench of me.”

It was Lexa’s turn to growl. Raven wasn’t the only protective alpha in Polis, and her teasing was getting to be a bit much. “One more word, Reivon, and that tongue you enjoy wagging so much might go missing.”

Heda watched Anya go rigid at the threat, but the General was wise and didn’t speak her piece. Lexa dismounted first and helped Clarke do the same. They walked hand in hand to the city center where a feast had been prepared.

Clarke and Lexa spent exactly one hour and thirty-three minutes celebrating with their people before the omega had to drag Heda away to the tower. She was going to combust if she didn’t get a taste of Lexa soon.

Once inside their quarters, Clarke pinned Lexa to the wall. “You may be better at controlling your pheromones, but you have been transmitting to me for longer than you know. I need you now, Lex.”

Lexa flipped their position and lowered her head to graze her teeth across Clarke’s scent gland. Clarke’s knees buckled, but Lexa’s grip on her kept her from falling. “Shh, niron. I will take care of you.” She brushed at the multitude of colored pieces scattered across the blonde’s shoulders. 

Lexa didn’t take the time to wonder why Clarke’s heat hit so early, which of course, brought about her rut. Be it stress, the fact that the omega was Wanheda and things would always be different for her, or the fact that Clarke had only ever had one heat before and was now playing catch up; none of that mattered. All that mattered was that her omega was calling out to her. Her mate needed her.

*****

“Lex.” Clarke’s hands started to flail as she struggled with the clasps, buckles, buttons, and straps holding the alpha’s clothes together. “Fuck, this is too hard right now.”

The Commander grabbed the omega’s hand and brought it to the large bulge that had been straining at her pants for hours. “Is it?”

Clarke froze and her blue eyes locked on Lexa’s green before she suddenly burst out laughing. “Did you really just say that?” 

Her body shook as she laughed, and it caused her hand to brush against Lexa’s length even more. “Klark.”

Stormy eyes found Lexa’s again, but the hand brushing up against the alpha’s most sensitive spot moved. She grasped the alpha then making Lexa squeak. 

“Klark, beja (please).”

Clarke’s hands were fumbling again, and they didn’t stop until her alpha was standing before her completely naked. She couldn’t help but stare at the goddess before her.

“Meizen (beautiful), ai Heda.” She lunged forward, and with her hand clasped around Lexa the entire time, she thrust her tongue into her alpha’s mouth, kissing her deeply. Just as suddenly as she started, she stopped, let go, and shucked her own clothing. She sauntered to their bed, swaying her hips suggestively, knowing that the alpha couldn’t take her eyes off her. 

She got on her hands and knees, lowering her head until her cheek rested on the furs, presenting herself to her mate. She turned to look at Lexa when she heard something clatter to the floor. The view had so affected her mate that the alpha had to reach out a hand to hold herself up, and in her haste to keep herself from falling over, knocked something to the ground.

“Lex, ai gaf in yu, nau (I need you, now). I have waited long enough.”

That had Lexa moving. Without any preamble she slid behind the omega and slipped two fingers into Clarke and thrust.

“Oh, oh my…” Clarke moaned. “Yes.” She lurched onto her elbows as Lexa continued to thrust into her hard.

“Is that what you want, Strik Pakstoka (Little Wolf)?” Lexa added another finger.

Clarke moaned again. “Sha, Lexa, sha.”

“Do you want more?” Lexa removed her fingers making the omega whine at the loss.

“Sha, alpha, yes.” 

Clarke felt the alpha shift behind her and purred in anticipation. She let out a gasp of air when the large head of Lexa’s cock stretched her open. 

Lexa paused and let her get used to the stretch. She ran her hands up and down Clarke’s spine before leaning over to whisper in her ear. “You’re so wet for me, hodnes.” She nuzzled her nose against the shell of the blonde’s ear as she slipped another inch in. “You have been so patient, waiting all those hours for this moment.” She nibbled at the ear now, and Clarke squealed as Lexa pushed until she bottomed out. “Do you know I saw the wet spot on the saddle when you got off the horse? All that wetness, and it was all for me.”

She pulled out until only the head of her cock remained in the omega. “Tell me what you want Clarke.”

The omega was trembling with need. Her breathing had increased, and she couldn’t form words. 

Lexa inched back into her at an excruciatingly slow pace before pulling almost all the way out again. She kept this up, knowing Clarke needed more. 

“Tell me, Klark.” She bit at the omega’s shoulder.

“L-lex, beja, ai gaf in yu (I need you). Jok ai, beja, jok ai (fuck me, please, fuck me).”

“Bilaik yu hedon, ai houmon (As you command, my wife).” She plunged in and set a punishing pace. She had to hold Clarke’s hips to keep the omega from collapsing. She was certain that all of Polis could hear the screams, yells, moans, and pleading falling from the omega’s mouth. She was hopeful that the people didn’t hear her own cries of pleasure. 

She pulled out and flipped Clarke onto her back placing a knee on each of her shoulders. She lined back up but didn’t enter.

“L-l-lexa. Beja.” The Commander was more than tickled that Clarke was begging her in Trigedasleng and had been since they started.

“You want more of this?” She was uncharacteristically lewd when she swirled her bulbous head between Clarke’s dripping lips. She pushed at, but did not enter, her mate. The omega’s eyes screwed shut waiting for the bliss that she knew was coming. 

Her cerulean eyes popped open. “Chomouda yu dula op disha gon ai? (Why are you doing this to me?)” Clarke cried out.

The alpha leaned forward and pulled Clarke’s bottom lip between her lips. She let it go with a pop. “Because I really,” she bit Clarke’s mating mark, “really like hearing you speak my,” she kissed in between the swell of the omega’s breasts, “no, our language.”

She finally pushed back inside. “Heda,” Clarke screamed.

She slammed into Clarke over and over until her knot started to form. By this time, Clarke had already come twice and was well on her way to a third orgasm. Lexa slowed her pace and pretended to pull out.

“No, beja. Lexa, ai gaf in… (I need…).”

“Shh, niron. I know what you need.” She slowly slid back in. “I won’t tease you anymore, but I want a promise.”

“Anything, just please don’t stop.” Clarke was writhing under her.

“Say it in trig, Klark.”

“I-I can’t.” Clarke was almost in tears her need was so great. 

“Kei (okay), Klark. I will give you what you need, and hopefully, if we are lucky in nine months, we will have another little Clarke running around.”

“Sha, Lexa. I want that too,” the omega growled now, “but if you don’t fuck me now like I want you to, alpha, you will never get the chance to do it again. Do you hear me?” 

Lexa heard her loud and clear and pounded into her mate like she never had before. She flipped Clarke over again and rutted into her from behind. She latched her teeth onto the mark on the omega’s neck and didn’t let up. “Ain (mine).”

“Yes, yours.” Clarke was frantically pushing back to meet every blistering thrust from her mate.

If she could, Lexa would have gone on forever, it just felt so good, but she could feel the pressure mounting, and the instinctual drive to knot her mate won over the pleasure she felt making this primal sort of love to her wife. 

With one last push, Lexa’s knot popped into place, and they both screamed out as they came. 

“Jok.” Lexa couldn’t help it as she continued to jog her hips into Clarke. She could barely move, but the movement sent both her and Clarke crashing through the waves of another orgasm.

Clarke collapsed, and Lexa flopped on top of her but immediately rolled them to their sides. 

“Ai hod yu in, ai tombom.”

“I love you too, Lex,” Clarke said after she caught her breath. “Don’t think I won’t get you back for teasing me like that.”

“Swega klin? (Promise?)”

“Oh, I promise,” Clarke said, turning her head to try and look her alpha in the eyes. “Payback is a bitch, my love.”

Lexa nestled her nose into her omega’s hair. Clarke’s scent had calmed some, now that she had been knotted, but her heat would come raging back in a few hours. They either needed to sleep or eat after they were no longer tied. They wouldn’t get the chance to do much of either over the course of the next several days.

Lexa was just dozing off when she felt Clarke grab her hand. The omega drew it to her belly.

“Do you think it is possible that…do you think there’s a chance that we have conceived already?”

Lexa splayed her long fingers over the omega’s warm flesh. “I don’t know. I hope so.” She moved her hand up and brushed it against a sensitive nipple. Clarke shivered at the touch. “You are so beautiful, hodnes. So, so beautiful. How did I get so lucky?”

“I ask myself that every single day.” Clarke shivered when Lexa nipped at her neck again and jogged her hips once more. She could feel Lexa release into her again. They both groaned. “You just upped the odds of us having a pup,” the blonde teased.

****

Clarke suddenly became still. “You don’t think after everything that I can’t, do you? What if what’s happened to me, or being Wanheda, has…changed me. What if I can’t get pregnant?”

Lexa pulled the omega closer to her. “First, I have no doubt that you can, and second, no matter what happens, my love for you will never change. Do not ever doubt that.”

“What if I still want a child with you?”

“If you want a child, there are many who need parents. As you are well aware, life on the ground is hard. Pups lose parents more than I would like, and they all need good homes. We can adopt as many as you want. Even if you get pregnant, which I believe you will, we can still adopt if you want to.”

Lexa started to purr. “I love you, Klark. I will give you anything that is in my capacity to give you.”

Clarke turned her head again. “I don’t need anything more than what you already give me. You have already given me so much.” She also started to purr; her fears evaporated. No matter what happened, she had Lexa, and if that was all she ever had, that would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are finally onto fluffier things in this story. Who's ready for a pup or two?


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many of you are excited about Clexa babies, and they are coming. How could they not be after sharing the heat/rut that they just did? 😊
> 
> First they need to get through sentencing Nia and Pike. After that, everyone will finally be able to focus on their expanding families. I can't wait.

Chapter 43

Clarke emerged from their rooms eight days later. The omega’s heat had lasted longer than expected, and her alpha was completely and thoroughly wiped out. It was late morning, but Lexa was still asleep. As soon as Clarke’s heat subsided, Lexa’s rut did too. By the time their frantic need for each other disappeared, poor Lexa could barely move anymore. The blonde didn’t begrudge the alpha her need for extra sleep. Her alpha had taken her to new heights that were very different from the first heat they shared together. 

Lexa was a fast learner. Clarke wasn’t unconvinced that the alpha hadn’t somehow gotten her hands on some of the sex manuals that she knew Raven kept on her tablet. The Old World’s obsession with sex was evident with how many books about it had been stored in the Ark’s archives. Apparently, history and educational manuscripts weren’t the only books their ancestors thought needed to be kept safe. 

She remembered looking over Raven’s shoulder once while the mechanic was playfully teasing Anya that they should try a particular position from the Kama Sutra. Clarke had gone bright red with embarrassment, but behind her she could feel Lexa’s extreme interest. After the week they had just spent together, and the positions her wife had put her in, she had no doubt that Lexa had been doing some covert reading.

She smiled as she walked out of the tower remembering every way that they had pleasured each other, and while her mate had been depleted of all her energy, Clarke was entirely energized. She had a bounce in her step that she was certain she had never had before. The level of happiness she was feeling was something she hadn’t experienced before either. Something was different about her and it had her feeling hopeful, but she wanted to check with her mother to make sure she was correct.

She made her way to the clinic that she knew her mother had set up in Polis. It was a simple space set up to treat patients. The bunker was still a secret, although it wouldn’t be for long, and Abby hadn’t yet been allowed to transport any of the equipment from the bunker topside. 

Raven, she saw, had been busy during the week. There was new wiring and cable all over the city. It only took a glance for Clarke to know what that meant. As soon as the bunker was revealed, it would also be disclosed that Polis would have electricity. It made Clarke smile. Electricity in Polis would only be the beginning. It would be the dawn of a new age for the people on the ground.

She finally made it to the clinic and was happy to see that it was early enough that no one was there yet. She found her mother at a table, filling glass vials with an amber liquid. By the smell of it, it was honey. 

“Hi Mom,” she said quietly. She didn’t want to startle her mother.

Abby’s smile was infectious, and Clarke’s was suddenly matching it. “My girl, I’ve missed you.” The doctor pulled her daughter into a warm embrace. She eventually pulled away from Clarke, her smile grew impossibly bigger.

“You don’t look like an omega that just spent eight days having wild and crazy sex.” Abby teased. 

“Mom!”

“You should look tired and worn out, but you are glowing, and that means I know why you are here. Where’s the Commander?”

“She’s the one who is tired and worn out.” Clarke grinned.

“Good for you, Clarke. That woman never looks tired. I was beginning to wonder if she’s a robot.” Abby had turned away from her and was fooling with a new glass vial. This one was filled with a clear liquid. It smelled acidic to the omega, but she couldn’t tell what it was.

Abby thrust the vial into her hand. “Here.”

“What do I with this?” Clarke had no idea what the vial was for.

“Go pee in it, then bring it back to me.” Abby walked to the other side of the clinic. “Make sure you wash your hands when you finish.”

Clarke blinked. She had no idea why she needed to pee into the already half full vial. “Mom,” she yelled out again.

“Your urine will tell me if you are pregnant, sweetheart.” Abby’s clinical voice told her.

“Really?” Clarke was dumbfounded, and for a moment she thought she was being punked, but her mother wouldn’t do that to her…would she?

“Yes, now scoot. Go behind that curtain over there, and don’t forget to wash your hands, and I will show you how this works.”

“Okay.” Clarke was thrilled. On the Ark, Abby had never been allowed to show her anything, no matter how eager the omega had been to learn. She was about to get angry at how she had been treated up there, but then she remembered why she was seeing her mother in the first place, and her mood brightened again.

“So, what is the honey for?” Clarke asked from behind the curtain.

She could hear her mother’s excitement when she started extolling upon her the miraculous healing properties of the sticky sweet stuff. 

“Huh, I thought it was just for eating. Who knew?” She finished what she was doing, washed her hands, and went back into the room. She handed the now full vial to her mother. 

She watched on curiously as Abby took a dropper and added two drops of another clear liquid to glass container. The liquid inside the glass tube suddenly turned purple.

“Uh, is that normal, Mom?” Clarke felt once again like she was being punked. How the hell could pale yellow, urine-filled liquid turn purple?

Lexa was just getting out of bed when Clarke returned. The omega was dragging her feet and seemed upset. She could feel an odd mix of emotions coming off her mate, but she couldn’t read them for a change. 

“Klark, what’s wrong?” She was on her feet and running to her mate in an instant. The omega plopped into a chair. Lexa knelt and grabbed the omega’s hands.

“Niron, tell me what happened.” When the blonde didn’t speak, the Commander’s anxiety ratcheted up. “Beja.”

Clarke’s small hand dipped into her pocket and pulled out a glass vial. In the dim light of the room it looked like it was filled with a purple, almost black substance.

“What is that Klark?” Lexa gingerly grabbed the tube when her mate handed it to her.

“It’s the fisa’s (healer’s) version of a pregnancy test. They taught my mom how to administer and read it.” Clarke’s voice was devoid of emotion. It was flat, and alarm bells went off in Lexa’s head, and she was flooded with sadness. 

“Oh,” was all Heda could say. Clarke’s mood was not one of joy. That could only mean…

“Lex, look at me?” The omega demanded.

The alpha couldn’t. She had been so certain that they had gotten pregnant. It was something she wanted more than she realized. She wanted a pup with Clarke. She wanted to see the omega’s belly swell as their child grew, but more than anything, she wanted a family.

“Lex.”

When Lexa looked up, Clarke was smiling hugely. She sensed a swirl in her chest, as she felt a sense of elation coming off her mate. 

Lexa’s mind blanked and she blinked owlishly at her wife.

“Lexa, I’m pregnant,” Clarke finally said.

The alpha was still stunned, and it took far too long for the words to sink into her thick skull.

“Did I break you?” Clarke teased.

“I…I. Are you…are we…?”

“Yes, sweetheart, we are pregnant. We are having a pup.”

Lexa jumped to her feet, dragging her mate with her. She spun them around until Clarke thought she would be ill. 

“Lex, I need you to stop. I’m going to be sick.”

Lexa stopped, but she didn’t put her mate down. She held her close and purred so loudly that she almost sounded like she was growling. 

“You’re going to be a nomon (mother), Commander.”

Lexa almost dropped Clarke then. “A nomon.” Suddenly they were spinning again. “A nomon.” Three more turns. “I…we are going to be nomons.”

“Lexa,” Clarke whined until the alpha finally put her down on the chair. She splayed a hand over Clarke’s belly before she lowered herself and put her ear to it.

“You can’t hear anything yet, my love.”

“Shh,” Lexa said. “I hear gurgling.” Bright green eyes sought out Clarke’s face. “That means we need to feed you. You are eating for two now.”

Clarke chuckled. It was true. Clarke felt like she could eat one of everything at Emile’s kabob stand, but sadly he wouldn’t open until the afternoon.

“Do you want to go to the market, or do you want me to have one of the guards get us something from the kitchen?”

“Food from the kitchen please, and then I would like to take a bath. Mom told me I stink.” The blonde frowned. “I am tired of people telling me that.” She thought back to when Ontari told her she smelled sour.

Lexa smirked. She was sure she needed a good bath too. She walked to the door so that the guard could fetch food for them then returned to her houmon’s side.

“Why did you seem so sad when you came back from seeing your mother?”

“I wasn’t. I was trying to fool you,” Clarke said, looking sheepish.

“Wh-why?” 

“Well, now it seems stupid and terribly mean, but I never did get to pay you back for teasing me the first day of my heat, so I was going to try and drag out the announcement, but then you looked so sad. I am sorry, Lex. It was a terrible idea.”

Lexa surprised Clarke by climbing into her lap. She clung to the omega. “It wasn’t terrible. I did tease you, and thankfully, you couldn’t hold up the charade.” She leaned down and probed at Clarke’s mouth with her tongue and waited for the omega to give her access so that she could kiss her mate until they both needed to come up for air. 

“You have made me happier than I have ever been, ai tombom (my heart). For so long I thought I would be alone, but now I have you, and soon our little squid will be here too. There’s nothing else I need in this world.”

Clarke smiled at her wife as she continued to pay attention to her stomach. Currently the alpha was lifting up the omega’s shirt so that she could pepper the pale flesh with kisses. 

“Little squid?”

“Sha, I like squids. They are fascinating, but our little squid will be the best.” Lexa had a dreamy look in her eyes. 

“That she will be.”

Lexa looked surprised. “A strik gada (a little girl)?”

Clarke looked regretful having said the word she. It would be about three months before her mother would do the ultrasound that would tell them the sex of their baby.

“I shouldn’t have said that. It’s way too early to know if we are having a girl or a boy.” It was Clarke’s turn to rub her belly, “but my gut tells me it is a girl.”

Lexa was beaming. “I hope she looks like you.”

“You won’t be disappointed if we have boy, will you?”

Lexa kissed Clarke again. “Of course not. I just want our pup to be happy and healthy.” 

“Me too.” The omega pushed a ringlet of Lexa’s hair behind her ear. They had been more than a little sweaty when they fell asleep that night, and Lexa had woken up with a plethora of curls on her head. 

“I hope our child gets your wavy hair.” She plucked at another soft curl.

“Maybe he or she will have your golden hair but my curls.” Lexa predicted.

“You like my blonde hair, don’t you?”

“I do,” Lexa admitted. “Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I watch you, and somehow I always end up fixated on your hair. There are other blondes in the Coalition, but none have the same color as yours. There’s nothing else like it.”

Clarke rose, and in a show of strength, she picked her wife up bridal style. Lexa complained that being carried might hurt the pup, but Clarke assured her that their pup was still just a tiny, little speck. A little heavy lifting at this stage in the game wouldn’t hurt anything.

The omega carried her alpha to the tub before setting her down. “Personally, I think you smell wonderful, but I don’t think the others would agree, and I don’t want them smelling eau de alpha and omega when we give them the good news.”

Lexa started to nip at her neck as she undressed the omega. The omega had to smack her hands away when they strayed to her backside. 

“Nope. No funny business. We have things to do today.”

Lexa pouted but moved her hands. 

“I would have thought you’d had enough of me over the past eight days.”

Lexa’s grin was wicked. “I will never have enough of you, niron.”

Four hours later and they found themselves sitting side-by-side in the throne room; Anya standing to Clarke’s right and Gustus to Lexa’s left. It had already been too long, and today was the day that Nia’s fate would be sealed. The morning had been so busy that they hadn’t been able to tell anyone the good news, although one look from Anya let the Commander know that she knew something was up. Raven was no better. She had even walked up to Clarke and sniffed at her, trying to see if she could smell a difference in her yet. 

One growl from Lexa had Raven covering up her nose, protecting it from the possible punch she knew Heda might throw. Her black eyes had only just healed. She didn’t want another set.

Clarke shifted in her seat as they waited for Nia to be presented in front of them. In the time they had been gone, Gaia had been allowed to continue her council of the alpha, but their visits were restricted to Nia’s cell.

The Flame/Keyronkepa swore that the alpha was a changed woman, but both Lexa and Clarke doubted it. Nia was a chameleon that could change her colors as needed to blend into her environment. What was the saying? A leopard doesn’t change its spots.

Nia may be adept at changing to suit her needs, but she would always be the despot she had always been, and in the end, she needed to be punished for her transgressions against Heda, Wanheda, her people, and especially Ontari.

Clarke was still having a hard time coming to grips with what she had done to the woman, although she is certain that her actions saved her own life that day. Ontari was unstable, and the omega had no doubt that Ontari would have killed her given time. 

Still, she regretted that Ontari couldn’t be saved. She wondered what the other omega would have been like if she had been allowed a normal upbringing with a normal family instead of being tortured day in and day out. 

Clarke shook her head. It was no use to wonder about it. It wouldn’t change anything. Just then, the former Ice Queen was dragged into the room. She no longer had the smug look on her face. She looked calm, almost at peace. It was an odd look considering she was about to be sentenced for all her misdeeds.

Roan, who had not yet returned to Azgeda, sat in as the Ice Nation representative when Nia’s fate was being discussed with all the ambassadors. Heda and Wanheda had quickly decided that all the clans needed to have a say in the woman’s fate. Her rule in the Ice Nation had affected everyone. She had sent raiders, gona (warriors), and spies to all the clans at one point or another, and all had suffered by her hands. 

Many had called for death by a thousand cuts, but others claimed it wouldn’t be enough. Nia needed to pay more dearly than with just her life. After hours of arguing, it was Lexa who came up with the plan, and while she was hesitant about it, it was the only solution she could think of that all the others would agree to.

Against Clarke’s protests, she suggested giving a chip to Nia to swallow. So far, the betas and omegas who had been forced to take the chip had all recovered to differing degrees. It seemed that the omegas could most easily fight off the effects of the chips. It took longer, but the betas eventually seemed to be able to control what was happening within themselves. It was the alphas who struggled the most. Fortunately, only two of them had been in the group that Jaha coerced into taking the things. They were both struggling despite Luna and the others helping them. 

It was because of the failure to help the alphas that Lexa decided it was a fitting punishment for Queen Nia. She had started all this when she tortured Ontari by using the chips, so it was only fitting that she feel exactly what had been done to the omega. 

That would only be the first part of her sentence. The next would be imprisonment with twelve years of hard labor during the day. She would spend one year in each clan making up for her misdeeds. At the end of that period, she would still be sentenced to death.

It didn’t matter if Nia was changed or not. She had committed atrocities that had to be paid for. Change or not, even if she did believe, she was not going to be able to use it as her get out of jail free card. Not a chance. In fact, if she truly were a changed woman, she would accept her fate gracefully.

The surprising thing was that she did; she did accept her fate. She bowed her head, and she even apologized to everyone in the room, especially her son. Her eyes leaked tears. They might have been crocodile tears, but they were real enough, and she wasn’t using them to try and change her sentence. The only thing she did was plead to have her remaining time in Polis be in her cell in the bunker so that she could continue her time with Gaia. 

This was denied to her. The Keyronkepa was more that welcome to visit her in the dungeon, but she would no longer be spending her time in the relatively posh room in the bunker. She would be treated just as any other prisoner.

Pike’s fate was similar except he would not be sentenced to death. He had done some horrible things, but Abby had spent some time speaking with, and counseling, the man. His time in the Polis dungeon had changed him, and he’d had plenty of time to reflect on what he had done. His rage and anger truly had been a result of the grief. This was perhaps a forgivable offense.

Clarke’s ground her teeth audibly when he confessed that he had zeroed in on the omega because he thought she looked similar to his wife. She’d had blonde hair and blue eyes just like the omega, and his anger that his wife had died on him had been misplaced onto Clarke. He apologized profusely for his actions, and his remorse seemed genuine. He had never wanted to hurt anyone, but Jaha had so mixed up his emotions, that he didn’t know which end was up. He willingly knelt before Clarke and said he would accept whatever punishment she thought fit. He knew he was responsible for a lot of the pain she had suffered in her short life.

His fate had been placed in the omega’s hands after only a few minutes of deliberation. It was only fitting since she had been the main victim of his crimes. He had trembled before her as she stood from her throne to approach him. Wild fear shone in his eyes. He was likely thinking that she would take her revenge on him the same way she had Jaha. No one had specifically told him what happened to the Chancellor, but the rumor had spread, even to the dark cells of the dungeons, although Lexa was almost certain the guards had spread the rumor on purpose to put the fear of the Spirit in the prisoners any time they saw Wanheda.

“Charles Pike,” Clarke boomed. “You have done terrible things, especially to me, but since my change,” he cast his eyes to the ground, “I have realized many things, and one of those things is that while you may have committed many sins, most of those were committed while you were being manipulated by the master of all manipulators. You may not have been coerced to do the things you did, but you were certainly steered in the direction Thelonius Jaha wanted you to go.

Jaha used his power over you to make you do things you normally never would have done. You need to make reparations for that, but we do not think you deserve death.” Clarke paced in front of him. She could smell his sour fear, but also his relief that he would not be killed. He kept his leaky eyes on the ground. “In the end, you are as much a victim of Jaha as I was, and I think you deserve the chance to heal from that, so that is why it has been decided that you will leave here with Luna kom Floukru. You will serve on her fishing fleet, and work hard every day to prove you really are a changed man. In that time, you will also use your skills as a teacher to help her people learn and grow.”

He finally lifted his head, eyes full of surprise. “Don’t think this is an easy sentence. You will toil twelve to fourteen hours every single day, without reprieve, on her ships and the rough seas catching fish, mending nets, and doing anything that you are asked, and seeing as Luna’s clan has forsaken all violence, one violent act on your part will erase this sentence, and she has our permission to push you overboard into the vast waters of the ocean she lives on.”

He trembled at that. “You will do this for the period of seven years. Over that time, you may share your ruts with a willing partner, but you will not mate. You will remain alone. After that time, if Luna finds that you have completed your sentence with honor and dignity, proving that you can be honest and genuine, you will be released from your duties, and you will be allowed to travel as you see fit. You will be allowed to mate. Or, if you are happy in your new life, you will be allowed to remain with Luna and her people, but know this Charles Pike, it will only take one transgression, one slip, for all of this to be reversed. Any fit of anger, any harsh word to another, or any refusal to do as you are told negates everything. If her people do not wish to drown you, I will hunt you down and tear you apart myself, just as I did Jaha. Do you understand?”

Pike nodded his head feverishly.

That last bit was completely untrue. Never again would Clarke allow herself to lose control like that, but Pike didn’t need to know that.

When the sentencing was finished, Charles Pike was led back to his cell. He would spend one last night there before leaving in the morning with Luna and her people. 

That left Nia, who had been kneeling on the floor the entire time Pike was being sentenced, to begin the first part of her punishment. 

Gustus left Lexa’s side and walked behind the woman. She wasn’t a threat as she was chained with her hands behind her back, but no one was taking any chances. 

Lexa rose and approached the kneeling alpha.

She held a chip up to the sunlight. “It amazes me that something so small can wreak so much havoc.” She turned it over in her hands, inspecting the small device. “I don’t know how you got your hands on it, or how you knew what it would do, but that you used it repeatedly on Ontari, who’s innocence you stole, is reprehensible. She went crazy fighting the effects of this thing, but you should know Nia that it can be beaten. Actually, you already know this. It’s why you chose to repeatedly subject that poor girl to your special brand of torture.” 

Like Charles, Nia looked down, but Lexa didn’t let her stay that way. She used the tip of her boot to force the woman to look at her.

“You should know that Luna and her people have been very successful in helping those who have been forced to take the chip, all except the two alphas.”

Lexa put her foot back on the ground, and finally Nia showed some real fear. “A long time ago a certain omega,” she turned to smirk at Clarke, “reminded me that alphas think themselves superior because they are strong and can make others submit to them, but as she reminded me that day, it is only our biological makeup that allows us to do that. It gives us many advantages that betas and omegas do not have, but this chip seems to be the one exception to that. So far it seems that alphas are not able to fight off its effects.”

She made sure Nia’s eyes were on her. “That means any hope you had of fighting it off is a wasted effort. Maybe with time, you will feel yourself return to who you used to be, but I have a feeling that if that happens it will be a very long time from now.”

She stepped back. “For the sake of the two alphas who are struggling mightily with what happened to them, I hope this is not the case, but for your sake, I hope it is. My mate does not feel the same way as I do about this, but I believe you deserve to know what it is to be stripped of everything you are. You deserve to feel powerless, and you deserve to feel everything you ever put Ontari through.”

She had Nia’s full attention. “A wise alpha from the sky recently taught me about karma.” Lexa glanced at Raven, who was standing at the back of the room. “It stems from an ancient Old World religion that essentially means what goes around comes around. Good deeds lead to a good future, but bad deeds, those like the ones you committed, come back to bite you in this ass. This is your ass being bitten, Nia.”

Gustus grabbed Nia by the shoulders. 

“Open your mouth,” Lexa commanded. When Nia hesitated, Lexa hit her with a strong blast of pheromones. “I said, open your mouth.”

Lexa grabbed her by the chin and forced the alpha’s mouth open. She shoved the chip in and clamped her hand over Nia’s mouth as the former Queen tried to spit it out. 

Lexa let go only after she saw Nia swallow. She returned to her throne but reached across the gap between her and Clarke’s chair to grab her omega’s hand. She sent soothing pheromones toward her wife. She looked over and felt a sense of pride as Clarke watched Nia’s transformation with a mask made of stone. Her features were hardened, but there was no hiding the mildly distressed scent coming off her mate.

She slid her glance back to Nia whose face was crumbling. Even Lexa had to admit that it was devastating to watch the light leave the Ice alpha’s eyes. As the chip took effect, Nia slumped and suddenly looked very small and old. Lexa almost felt bad as she watched the formerly formidable woman become a shell of herself, but then she remembered that without Nia, Jaha would never have had the chips, and Clarke would never have been tortured by the same feelings Nia was having now.

“Take her to the dungeons. Feed her and give her enough clothing and blankets to stay warm. The rest of your punishment starts tomorrow, Nia kom Azgeda. You will be here, on Trikru lands, for the next year performing the bidding of my people. Time will tell where I send you next.”

Lexa and Clarke sat until the room was clear of everyone except Gustus, Indra, Anya and Raven, Roan, Luna, and Abby.

When Lexa finally stood, she pulled Clarke into a fierce hug. “I am so proud of you, niron.”

Clarke gave a small smile. “I didn’t like watching that, but she got what she deserved.” She let go of her mate. “Now I think we can all agree that it’s a good time for a celebration. Luna and Roan are leaving tomorrow, and I don’t know about you, but I think they deserve a proper sendoff.”

Lexa linked her arm with Clarke’s. “I couldn’t agree more.” She leaned into whisper in Clarke’s ear as her hand strayed to the omega’s belly. “Then we can tell everyone the good news.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone reading in the States. All over the world we have so much to be thankful for this year. 2020 had not been a kind year. Between Covid, politics, catastrophic weather events, and the continually increasing divide between people, its been a hard time to handle, but there are so many good things this year too, family and friends being the most important, and that is what I am most thankful for this year.
> 
> I am also thankful for all of you. Your comments and kudos keep me motivated. Like many authors, I like to think that I write for myself, and I do, but I write for all of you too. What is a story if it is not shared? The joy I get from reading your comments and knowing that so many of you have been with me from the beginning of this long journey is amazing to me. Clexa has brought so many of us together, and it feels like we are one big, happy family even if it is only over a screen, so thank you all so much for reading. 💔🧡💛💚💙💜


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are at the beginning of the end. There are just a few chapters left. I have officially finished writing this and it caps off at exactly 200,000 words. We will see if that stands after editing. 
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me for so long. It's been one hell of a ride. Now, though, our characters will get some peace. It's time for a lot more fluff and a lot less angst. 
> 
> Happy reading.

Chapter 44

Clarke was sitting in the tavern with Anya. They were drinking nothing stronger than juice, but it was the best place to hide away from their mates. 

Now that both women were showing, their mates had become ultra-protective, even banding together to keep Anya and Clarke from doing things they deemed dangerous to them or the pups, like picking up anything heavier than a book or taking a casual stroll around Polis. The omega, and even Anya, had found it charming at first the way their mates were fawning over them, but it had gotten old quick. Heda had gone as far as giving them both extra protection details, and the guards followed them everywhere. It was almost to the point where neither of them could go to the bathroom without someone watching over their shoulder. 

The night after Nia and Pike’s sentencing had been an uproarious affair. Once word got out that Wanheda was pregnant, the entire city of Polis celebrated. More colorful ticker tape floated through the air, and boisterous laughter and celebrations could be heard throughout the city. 

Heda had been toasted so many times that she had gotten completely and utterly drunk, and Gustus, who Lexa decided in her drunken state should always be called Gusgus, had to discreetly carry the proud sire back up the their rooms when the celebration died down. 

That was after Roan told the story of how the greatest Commander of all time had come to be known as Lexie to him.

It was long ago, when Roan had still been in the good graces of his mother and long before Lexa had become Heda. She was still a young nightblood in training with Anya as her fos, and Roan had been sent to the city by his mother to learn more about the Fleimkepas and what it took to become one. As the Prince of Azgeda, Heda Hiral, the Heda before Lexa, welcomed him with open arms. Roan was never quite sure if he had been sent there to really learn, or if it was a way for his mother to try and find a way to undermine Heda.

When he first arrived in the city, he hit it off with Anya immediately. They were of similar age, and he liked the gruff, no nonsense alpha. He even made a pass at her once just to see what she would do. It came as no surprise when she had flattened him in less than three seconds.

Lexa, who had been her charge for several years already had watched on in admiration as her fos took out the man. She was still young and there was no one she looked up to more than Anya. That was still true.

Because Anya was her fos, she was always at the older alpha’s side, and Roan teased them mercilessly that Lexa was just a mini version of Anya. She walked like her, talked like her, and even dressed and fought like her. Anya was proud of this, but Lexa, who was a young, hormonal teenager, had taken huge offense at this. It was the first time Lexa had ever told anyone that she meant to be Heda one day, and when that happened, Roan had better watch out who he teased. It was also the first time she ever brought anyone to their knees with her dominance, taking Anya and Roan by surprise. Anya because the attack was focused and didn’t affect her, and Roan because of the strength of the pheromonal attack. 

When he was able to get to his feet again, he bellowed out a laugh, thumped the stunned young alpha on her back, and took Lexa to the tavern for the very first time. Anya protested, saying that her seken was too young, but Roan convinced her that any alpha strong enough to focus her dominance the way Lexa just had was old enough to have her first drink.

The nightblood’s first drink had turned into several, and she had entertained the entire tavern that night with her numerous announcements that she would be Heda one day.

She had even stood on the bar top to yell it to anyone still sober enough to hear. It was just too bad that she wasn’t sober anymore. She had puffed out her chest and yelled. “I am Lexie kom Trakru, and I will be Heda one day.” 

Roan and Anya had lost it, practically rolling around on the beer-soaked floor they were laughing so hard. “Hey, little Lexie,” Roan had teased when he had finally stopped laughing, “get down from there before you hurt yourself, and then tell me all about Traaakru.”

Anya’d had to carry Lexa to their shared home that night, but not until after she and Roan had paid heavily, with coin and threats of dismemberment, to make sure everyone in the bar kept Lexa’s behavior that night to themselves. They could not risk word getting out that a natblida novitiate had gotten completely shit-faced and professed to be the next Heda. The consequences for Lexa could have been severe.

That didn’t stop Roan, and sometimes Anya, from calling Heda Lexia just to piss her off, and now that Lexa was Heda, they were free to share the story with anyone they wanted to, much to the Commander’s chagrin. It was the first time Lexa had ever gotten drunk, and it was only recently that she had again.

The four months that had gone by since that night had flown by for everyone. It was a time of relative quiet which meant that Raven had been able to start providing pockets of the city with electricity, including the tower which pleased all the residents to no end, and it meant that she’d had more time to research the chips.

The source of the chips had been found in the bunker. A woman named Becca Franco had invented them. She was a wildly brilliant scientist who sadly fell on the wrong path. As an omega in the Old World, she was often passed over for promotions and pay raises because of her designation, so she developed them as a way to even the playing field where there would no longer be alphas, betas, or omegas. There would simply be men and women; all equal because there would no longer be prejudices tied to how one was born and who wielded the most power. 

It was an altruistic attempt to make everyone the same, but it backfired greatly. Once the knowledge of the chips was discovered, governments scrambled to get their hands on them to use them as weapons. There was fighting that turned to wars, and in the end, it led to the nuclear apocalypse that created the world they lived in now. 

It was sad really. There was a beauty to Becca’s way of thinking. She thought that by eliminating designations, she would bring about peace to the world, but it was her invention that ended it instead. 

Through research, they found that there had always been men and women who wanted to eliminate designations, but most of those people did it as a way to gain power for themselves. They also learned that it was Heda and Wanheda, through time, that stopped a lot of this from happening. From ancient Egypt until now, their many incarnations had stopped wars, in-fighting, plagues, and, in general, the mistreatment of people. Heda and Wanheda had always strived for equality.

Anya nudged Clarke’s shoulder to get her attention. “They found us,” she griped.

Clarke groaned when she saw Raven leading the way into the tavern with Lexa close behind. She groaned. She loved her mate and her friend dearly, but it might be time for an intervention. 

Raven was already growling when she got to the two pregnant women. “You two have been missing for hours.”

Anya growled right back. “I don’t see it as missing so much as getting some quality alone time with my seken.”

“You ditched your guards.” Lexa wasn’t growling but her voice was icy.

“I was teaching my seken how to avoid detection. I am still her fos after all, and she still has learning to do.” Anya was not afraid of the cold, flat tone Heda was using.

Lexa did growl then, but Clarke reached out and put a hand on her arm. “Don’t growl at us.” She growled right back. “First because we are not helpless and can take care of ourselves. Second because you knew damn well where we were because I know you can always sense where I am, and third because you are smothering us. If it’s not one of you two, then there are guards surrounding us all the time. The only time we get a moment alone is when we are sitting on the toilet. We simply needed some time to ourselves. That we chose to come here together, and not truly alone, should make you at least a little happy.”

“You are pregnant,” Raven and Lexa yelled practically at the same time.

“And that doesn’t make us helpless,” Anya spouted. She was getting angry. “We don’t need someone watching over us every second of every day. We can take care of ourselves,” she stood from her stool to tower over her mate, “and if this is going to be how it is for the next few months, you are both going to be sleeping alone in cold beds because Clarke and I will find somewhere else to be.”

Anya stormed out of the tavern. Raven looked shocked and hurt. Lexa looked scared. She was waiting to see what her mate was going to do. 

“She’s not wrong,” Clarke said more calmly than the alpha who had just stormed off. “We understand that as alphas you have an innate need to protect us, but you also need to know that we aren’t fragile little flowers that will wilt when the sun gets too bright. The only thing that has changed about us it that we are pregnant. We are not weak, we will not break, and we still need to feel like ourselves and not like captives in our own city.”

“You are not captives,” Lexa disputed.

“Really?” Clarke looked around the tavern. “Because it’s beginning to feel that way.” She stood from her stool too. “The city is starting to feel like a prison, and you two are the wardens.”

Raven and Lexa both looked ashamed. 

“Look, I understand your need. I really do,” Clarke said, “but you need give us some freedom. We are grown women. Anya is the General of your armies, and I am Wanheda. We are not a couple of weak and down-trodden women who can’t fend for ourselves. All we are asking for is a little time to ourselves and for you two to realize that nothing is going to happen to us. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to finish spending time with my friend.”

Clarke walked out of the bar.

“We have royally fucked up,” Raven said as she watched the blonde walk away.

Lexa plopped down on the stool vacated by Clarke. “We have.” She ran her hands through her hair. “I can’t help it. I am just so afraid that something is going to happen to her or the pup.”

Raven waved her hand at the bartender to get his attention. “Two shots of the good stuff, beja (please).”

When the shots arrived, she bade Lexa to drink. “We need to stop what we are doing.”

“I know,” Lexa conceded. Her throat burned with the lingering effects of the alcohol, “but I don’t know how to do that. There’s a feeling in here,” she lifted her hand to her chest, “that’s driving me to protect Clarke even thought I know she doesn’t need it.”

“I know, I feel it too, and the only time it goes away is if Anya is near, or I know that our posse of guards is protecting her.”

“We need to call off the guards.”

“Yes, we do.” Raven was about to order another round of shots, but Lexa waved her off.

“I don’t think more alcohol is a good idea.” The commander looked at the door. “I want to run after them and apologize, but I am afraid it will only make things worse.

Raven ignored her about the alcohol and ordered the two shots. When Lexa didn’t drink hers, she drank it for her. She was feeling emotional. The three shots in quick succession probably weren’t going to help that.

“I just love her so much.” Raven’s eyes were glistening. “Growing up, my mom was an alcoholic.” The bartender came over and asked if she wanted more, but she shook her head. “I would go days without eating sometimes because she would trade my rations for bootlegged booze. There were times that I didn’t think I would live long enough to have a mate, and then, with the way things were on the Ark, I knew that if I ever took a mate, he or she wouldn’t love me. Matings for love were so rare, and I doubted there would ever be anyone up there who would love me. I always thought I would be alone.”

She blinked as a tear fell. “And then…we came here, and I met Anya. My entire world tilted on its axis. I fell so hard for her it hurt. That she felt the same way took me by such surprise that I almost ran away from it.”

Lexa looked shocked. Raven had always been so confident around Anya in those first days. She would never have realized that the other alpha had been having doubts. 

“And ever since, I’ve been afraid that I might lose it…her love.” Another tear fell. “I don’t want to lose her.”

Lexa turned on her stool to face Raven then reached for the mechanic and turned her too, so they were sitting knee to knee. “You aren’t going to lose her, Reivon,” Raven always liked it when Lexa said her name that way, “and I won’t lose Klark, but we are going to have to control ourselves and let them be, no matter how it makes us feel.”

Raven nodded her head in agreement. “Does that mean I can’t bring Anya flowers everyday anymore?”

Lexa laughed. “On the contrary. I think you should bring her more. Your mate has confessed that she loves the flowers you bring her each afternoon.”

Raven scrubbed a hand at her face. Maybe drinking the three shots so quickly hadn’t been a good idea. “Do you bring Clarke flowers?”

“Sometimes. I think that maybe I should bring them everyday too after this.” Lexa quirked up a corner of her mouth. “I bring her a new and different food to try each day. The way to my mate’s heart is through her stomach, but I do think she likes the flowers I sometimes bring too.”

Her green eyes suddenly looked stormy. “Have you felt the baby move yet?” It was a sudden change in subject, but she had been meaning to ask. Lexa was worried that she and Clarke hadn’t felt anything yet.

“No, not yet, but don’t worry. Abby said that around week twenty we should start feeling movement, so we have a couple of days, maybe a week to go, and that means you still have about four more weeks before you feel anything.”

Lexa knew this, but still she worried. Abby had told her and Clarke the same thing, but still she had her concerns. She could hardly wait to feel that first little kick.

“You do have an ultrasound coming up,” Raven stated. The genius alpha had been so ecstatic when they’d had the 16-week ultrasound. There little pup had only been about five inches long then, but already Raven could tell that he or she would be the most beautiful pup in the world. Abby had given Anya and Raven printouts of the ultrasound that day, and they had thought about showing those pictures to the others, but instead had horded them. They looked at them quietly each night marveling over the life they had created, and every night, just before bed, Raven stroked Anya’s belly while reading a bedtime story to it. She figured it was never too early to read their pup bedtime stories. Anya did have to put her foot down when Raven started to read their child old, archived issues of the magazine Popular Mechanic. 

So far, Anya had been lucky. She was being monitored much more closely than Clarke was because alpha pregnancies were so rare, but so far everything had been just fine. The only thing Anya had been commanded to do by the doctor was eat more. She was a little underweight at this stage in her pregnancy but not enough to be concerning. 

Since that day, Raven had been finding her all sorts of food for her to try to fatten her up. The two things she liked best were two Old World foods that Monty and Jasper had gotten the cooks to try a few weeks back. 

Together the two boys had wormed their way into the hearts of most of the vendors in the markets, and with their charm had gotten a couple of them to try old recipes that sounded good. Now pizza and hamburgers were the most popular items in the market (along with breakfast burritos), and Anya couldn’t get enough of either one. Her favorite thing to do was eat cold pizza in the morning. It made Raven a little green to watch, but she wouldn’t begrudge her mate her new favorite food.

Lexa and Raven had spent the rest of the day together counseling one another on ways to be less overbearing with their mates, and even though it filled them with anxiety, they knew they needed to back off. They went together to buy flowers and sweets for their mates, and Lexa made Raven drink plenty of water to stave off the effects of the trio of shots she drank before she headed off to find Anya just after nightfall.

When Lexa returned to their rooms in the tower, her hands were full of flowers and small little gifts for her mate. When she didn’t immediately see Clarke, she completely panicked, and her heart fell. She and Raven had done it. They had run off their mates, and now they were who knows where.

She sank to her knees in the middle of the room, distraught. She tried to feel Clarke’s presence within herself, and it felt like Clarke was near, but Lexa had checked. She wasn’t in their sitting room, the bedroom, or on the balcony. She was about to be overcome with emotions when the door to the bathroom opened and her omega, her blessed omega, came out of the steamy room. The blonde was towel drying her hair and had on a soft pair of pajamas. 

When she saw Lexa on the floor, the omega ran to her. “Lex, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Her small hands started searching her mate for any sign of injury.

Lexa had to blink to clear her eyes. “The only thing wrong is that I am a fool, and when I got home and didn’t immediately see you, I panicked.” Lexa sniffled. “I thought I had driven you away.”

Clarke moved to kneel next to Lexa, and she couldn’t help the smile on her face. “My poor alpha.” She leaned in to kiss her mate’s forehead. “Mom was teasing me about my crazy pregnancy emotions, but it seems yours are just as bad.” She pulled the Commander to her feet. “Do you really think I would leave you because you want to protect me?”

Lexa looked unsure, and it was an unusual look for her. The self-assured alpha was having doubts about herself, and it would be cute, Clarke thought, if only her love didn’t look so damn sad. 

“Hey, I’m not leaving you, okay. Not now. Not ever. You may have gone a little overboard these last couple of weeks, and I may have gotten a little frustrated, but I would never, ever leave you. I love you, babe, and I won’t ever stop, even if you do send twenty guards to follow me around when you can’t be with me yourself.”

“I’ve withdrawn the guards,” Lexa whispered, still getting over her misplaced fear. “They won’t be following you around anymore.”

Clarke smiled. Lexa was trying, and she knew it was going against everything the alpha was feeling right now. “Thank you, but if it makes you feel better, I wouldn’t mind if Ryder and Stryker remain my guards.”

Lexa sighed. “Beja (Thank you), niron.”

“Now go clean up. You smell like the tavern.”

Anya was waiting for her mate when Raven arrived home. She knew Raven wouldn’t arrive home empty handed, so she had the table set and ready for whatever food the mechanic had found for them. She also had a vase ready for the flowers she knew would be accompanying the food.

She opened the door for her alpha when she heard her approaching. Raven’s normally bouncy step sounded more like that of someone who had just lost a fight, and well, that wasn’t inaccurate. Anya storming out on her probably did make her feel like she had lost something. 

When she had left the bar, Anya hadn’t really had a destination in mind, so she walked a little way away and hoped that Clarke would soon be following her. She needed to get out of the city for a while, and a walk with Wanheda in the forest was exactly what she needed.

When Clarke finally came out, they walked for a long time in silence, both stewing about their overprotective mates, but after a while, they started to talk about Raven and Lexa realizing that the two women only had their best interests at heart. Their mates didn’t mean to be overbearing, just as she and the omega hadn’t meant to be so snappish when their mates entered the bar. 

Emotions were running high in all four women, and really, it was surprising that they hadn’t all gotten into it earlier than this. 

The walk in the woods had given them time to decompress while realizing at the same time that their alphas were only doing what was in their nature. Stopping Raven and Lexa from being overprotective would be like trying to stop the current of the river. It just wasn’t possible. It was biology’s way of ensuring pups made it to full term in order to be born. 

The walk had also given Clarke time to do something she hadn’t done since she found out she was pregnant. She turned into her wolf. 

Because no one had ever existed like Clarke before, at least not in recent history, Abby had warned that shifting could put her pregnancy at risk. Of course, Lexa had then jumped on that bandwagon. She didn’t come outright and forbid Clarke from changing, but she did beg. That was something else Clarke had thought she would never see, and because of it, she had agreed to stay in human form for the duration of the prenatal period.

She broke that promise while in the woods, but there was something in her; something swirling directly around her heart, that let her know that everything would be okay. Shifting would not harm the pup, in fact, she was almost certain that being in her wolf form would almost provide more protection to the child. She wasn’t sure how she knew this, but she did, so when she told Anya that she was going to shift so that they could run, she didn’t give the alpha time to protest.

They frolicked through the forest together that day, with no eyes watching, as they played and wrestled, snorted in laughter (even if Wanheda’s laugh sounded like gravel being poured over broken glass), and had a blast. 

Anya had been in tears when Clarke accidently knocked over a tree in an attempt to scratch an itch that she just couldn’t get to. Anya had been of no use. The spot had been too high for the alpha. After that, she’d let Anya climb on her back and took her for a ride that would have had their mates fainting in fear. 

Clarke ran as fast as she could while making sure Anya was safe. She didn’t have a connection with Anya like she did Lexa, but she could feel the unadulterated joy rolling off the alpha as she sped through the trees. 

When they finally stopped, they both felt lighter than they had in weeks. They were going to make each other swear to secrecy about their adventure that day, but then they realized it wouldn’t be fair to their mates. They would confess to their antics, and they would face the repercussions even if it meant even more guards following them around. 

As long as they could have moments like this from time to time, they would let their mates smother them. It was love they were being smothered in after all.

Raven’s moves were timid as she walked through the doorway. She kept her eyes on the ground as she passed her mate and put her packages on the table, not even noticing that it had been set.

“You’ve probably already eaten, but I got something for you just in case you hadn’t,” she stammered. “I also got you these,” Raven held up a bunch of colorful flowers, “but you probably don’t want them.” Raven’s normally self-assured attitude was gone.

Anya closed her eyes trying to control herself. She wanted to laugh at her mate’s ridiculousness. “Of course, I want them, you dork.”

Raven finally looked up Anya’s use of the Skaikru term. “Listen, I know I screwed up. I seem to be doing that a lot lately…”

“If loving me the way you do is screwing up, then screw away. I understand everything you have done, ai hodnes. Clarke and I talked about it a lot, and yeah, we may have gotten a little overwhelmed, but it’s because you love me that you did it, so even though you have nothing to be forgiven for, I do forgive you. I know you won’t settle down until I say it.”

Anya wrapped her arms around her skinny alpha. She wasn’t the only one who needed to eat more. “Ai hod yu in, strik sora (I love you, little bird).”

“I love you too, so fucking much.”

“Enough to hold me captive?” Anya teased, but Raven looked confused.

“I thought you didn’t want to feel like you were being held captive.”

“I meant in the city, branwoda (fool). What I want is to be held captive in your arms. I want to eat whatever it is that smells so good, and then I want you to pin me to the bed and make love to me, and then if you are lucky, I will hold you captive until all of Polis hears you begging me to give you release.”

“Let’s hurry up and eat then.”

Anya burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you, but I was expecting Clarke and Anya to be the ones causing all the trouble as their pregnancies progressed, but instead, it's Lexa and Raven getting into trouble for being too protective. I guess we could all see that coming though. 
> 
> Next chapter a couple of new pups will be joining the world.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some pups?

Chapter 45

After that, things went smoothly, and it seemed that being Wanheda had its advantages. Abby couldn’t explain it, but Clarke was rapidly catching up to Anya in her pregnancy, and she expected the pup to be born at about the same time as Anya and Raven’s.

After an almost fight, because Clarke had confessed that she had shifted into her other form the day she and Anya had stormed away from their mates in the tavern, Clarke had changed several times into her wolfy self. After each shift, Abby checked Clarke out thoroughly to confirm that the pup was just fine, in fact, it was more than fine. Every time the omega changed into the wolf, it seemed to speed up her gestation, so much so that if she shifted again, she might give birth in the next week or two.

Oddly, it was Murphy who came up with the theory that it was because a wolf’s gestational period was so much faster than that of a human. A wolf would only remain pregnant for about 63 days as opposed to 38 to 40 whole weeks for a human. He figured that things were speeding up exponentially while Clarke ran around as her furry self.

Apparently, literature about wolves was not the only thing Murphy read. After his wild ride on the back of Wanheda he had taken the time to research everything he could about wolves. Oddly, Emori, who he was officially mated to now, had a vast knowledge of wolves. She explained that she had a wolf pup once very briefly as a child and had been fascinated by them ever since.

This, of course, sent Jasper and Monty over the moon when they found out. They started creating a betting pool. For only a few coins, anyone could bet on the sex of the pups, weight, length, eye color, how many times Anya threatened to leave Raven because this was all her fault, how many times Clarke threatened to bite Lexa because she was the one who had done this to her, and of course which day each pup would be born. 

Gambling was illegal within the city limits of Polis, but this one time, Lexa let it slide. She ignored the antics of the two boys, and admitted she was more than a little interested to see how much the winners would make as it seemed that every single resident had placed their bets. She was hoping it would be sweet little Zelda that sold different herbal teas that she made from herbs she grew herself. The wizened omega had to be about 81 summers old by now, and she been selling her tea in the market for probably 60 of those 81 years. She was the oldest resident of Trikru, and possibly all the Coalition, and even though a celebration was thrown each year in her honor, the Commander would still like to see her win. 

Clarke who was sick of being hugely pregnant at this point was considering cheating and shifting so that she could speed everything along, but because she was so far along now, Abby had strictly forbidden her from changing forms anymore. Right now it was just too risky. Even Anya, who hadn’t been one to discourage Clarke from shifting, agreed that she should listen to the doctor this time.

It left the omega grumpy and quick-tempered, and more than once she had lashed out at her mate when Lexa hadn’t done anything to deserve it. It also meant that she would burst out in tears every single time she did it. She was on an emotional roller coaster, and it didn’t help that her ankles were fat, she peed probably 30 times per day, and her joints were starting to hurt. 

One of the good thing that came from all of this was that she and Lexa were having shared dreams. They were both having flashbacks as they slept to past lives of when Wanheda had given birth in the past. Each time the pup, or pups, had been born healthy and hearty. There had been a few instances where twins had been born, and even one set of triplets. 

It was Gaia who pointed out that this was probably a good omen; a sign that their pup would be strong, just like her mothers. 

Unlike the General and her mate, Lexa and Clarke had decided to find out the sex of their baby. In their excitement, they didn’t want to wait. As it was, the omega’s insistence that it was going to be a girl was correct, and since that time, they had come up with a list of names, but they had narrowed it down to two. Cleo; short for Cleopatra and a nod to their ancient ties to Egypt, and Madi, short for Madigan. 

Madigan was the name of Clarke’s grandmother on her father’s side. She had never met her grandmother, but her father had regaled her with stories about the gentle omega woman. It made Abby proud that Clarke and Lexa would consider such a name. 

As the end of her pregnancy neared, the omega was miserable; so miserable that she hadn’t left their rooms in three days.

The only thing that brought the omega solace was her newfound need to nest. Apparently, it was rare these days for an omega to feel the urge to nest, but for some reason, Clarke found herself doing it. She had taken all the cushions off the couch and found every pillow she could. She piled them up in the corner of the room, and covered them with the furs from their bed, three of Lexa’s nightshirts, four towels from the bathroom that still smelled like her mate, and the Commander’s favorite blanket. She then took several more blankets and made a fortress over her mountain of cushions and pillows. 

Lexa had been out doing official business when Clarke had gotten up to this, so when she came back and found that their entire sitting room had been totally redecorated, she couldn’t help but laugh. She’d had to crawl on the floor to find her wife who had fallen asleep while she was creating her comfy little den. She wondered if this behavior was a part of her mate’s wolf side.

The omega was curled up on her side and hugging her enlarged belly. It made Lexa smile when she heard her mate purring in her sleep. She crawled back out of Clarke’s cozy cave and changed. She crept back in and decided that even though it was only mid-day, it was the perfect time to take a nap with her omega.

She slowly draped herself around her mate and also started to purr. She slipped off to sleep, marveling at how comfortable Clarke had been able to make her random pile of pillows.

They spent four days sleeping in the dark comfort of Clarke’s nest. It was the morning of the fifth day that Lexa rolled over and felt something wet on the furs. She blinked her eyes open and could just see her mate in the light filtering through the blankets. 

Amazingly, Clarke was still sleeping even though her water had broken. Her contractions must not have started yet, or there was perhaps, an ability for Wanheda to withstand the pains of birth. Either way, she had to wake her wife right away and get her to Abby because while their nest was comfortable and the place that the omega wanted to be, it was no place to give birth.

When Lexa finally woke her surprised wife, she was astonished at how calm Clarke was because she was a nervous wreck. The alpha ran around like a hen, trying to collect everything she needed to get her wife dressed and over to Abby.

When she turned from their wardrobe having dressed herself in too small pants, mismatched socks, and one of her omega’s shirts, she found Clarke with a blissed-out look on her face. Her wife, who had been a raging grumpus for nearly two weeks was rubbing her stomach like she didn’t have a care in the world. 

She was easily led to a room that had been set up three doors down from their suite. Abby had outfitted it with everything she would need to help Anya and Clarke give birth. When they got there, she could hear cursing and growling. Anya was already inside and in labor.

A pale-faced Raven was almost on her knees with the strength with which Anya was crushing her hand, and the General was cursing at her in three different languages. It appeared that Raven had taught her many of the colorful curse words that hailed from the language of her ancestors. Trigedasleng, Gonasleng, and Spanish swear words filled the air as Abby tried to tell Anya that it wasn’t time to push yet. 

A smirking Gaia was in the room tabulating each cuss that came out of the poor alpha’s mouth.

As soon as Clarke entered the room, Abby almost fainted. She was not prepared to aide in two births simultaneously and had to yell at a guard to bring in another bed. They hadn’t expected the women to give birth at the same time, and the poor doctor had to blink a few times when she caught sight of her daughter. Clarke was not the picture of someone who was already in labor. She was calm and silent whereas the alpha already on a bed was sweating, crying, cursing up a storm, and sending out powerful pheromones that had even Lexa feeling uncomfortable.

Clarke, who had been silent since she woke up, and who was freaking Lexa out with her strange silence, walked over to Anya and placed a hand on her friend’s trembling belly. She was moving as if on autopilot.

Finally speaking for the first time, Wanheda said, “Ste gon ogonzaun, ai lukot (be at peace, my friend).” An inexplicable warmth flowed through Clarke’s hand and into Anya’s body and the alpha instantly calmed; all pain having left her body. She released Raven’s hand, much to the mechanic’s relief. 

Stunned copper eyes found Clarke. “H-how did you do that?”

“I…I really don’t know. I just knew that I needed to.” Clarke moved a sweaty piece of hair out of the alpha’s eyes. She kissed Anya’s forehead. “Everything will be better now. There will be no more pain.”

With that, Clarke moved to lie on the bed that had just been moved into the room. They put it directly next to Anya’s bed, so the omega reached out an arm in order to clasp the alpha’s hand. A relieved Raven retook Anya’s free hand in her own.

Lexa and Abby were momentarily frozen by what they had just seen. It appeared that Clarke was better at relieving the pain of contractions than even the best Skai medicine.

The omega held out her free hand for her mate. “It’s time, Lex.”

The Commander shook off whatever was holding her in place and took her wife’s hand. The four women in the room where connected by their hands and Clarke smiled knowingly, but also sympathetically.

“You will bear it, so we don’t have to.” A sudden tingling sensation filled Raven and Lexa, and they both grimaced in pain. They both grabbed at their stomachs.

“We bear the pups, so you bear the pain.” Clarke said, like this made perfect sense. The two sires doubled over in pain but didn’t let go of their mates’ hands. Clarke looked at Lexa as she grimaced in pain. “Moba (sorry), ai hodnes.”

Hours later, with the two sires almost completely exhausted from the pain they endured, their mates gave birth at the exact same time. 3:19 in the afternoon by Abby’s watch.

Mother and daughter locked eyes at this. It took Anya, Lexa, and Gaia a little longer to realize the significance. The time matched Clarke’s prison number when she had been locked away in solitary. 

Abby ran back and forth between the two beds as the two new pups wailed their way into the world. She cleaned them up, cut the cords, and swaddled them in one of the many baby blankets the people of Polis had gifted to the two mothers. 

The two tired but proud sires let go of their mates’ hands to reach for their pups, and instantly Clarke and Anya sagged into their beds. They may not have felt the pain during the birth, but they were feeling the remnants of it now. Whatever connection Clarke had made while holding hands with Lexa and Anya disappeared as soon as they lost contact. They too were exhausted and suddenly achier than they realized. 

Abby and Gaia were beaming at the new families. She handed Heda her pup first, and Lexa burst into tears. She hugged the little girl to her. 

“Monin go de houd (Welcome to the world), Cleo Madigan kom Trikru.” The pups crying ceased as soon as it scented its sire.

Handing the other pup off to Raven, Abby congratulated the oddly silent alpha. “Raven, you are the sire of a beautiful baby girl.”

Raven too dissolved into tears the moment she held her pup. “Welcome to the world, Andrea Rae.”

The alphas took a few short minutes to take in the enormity of what they had just gone through. They gushed over their girls then handed their pups to their mates. “Ai presh strik gada (My precious little girl),” they both said, making them smile at each other.

Raven sat on the bed next to her mate, being gentle so as not to disturb the new nomon (mother) and pup. It seemed she couldn’t stop smiling now, no matter how tired she was. “Did you know that Anya is the Hungarian word for mother?” she blurted out. “I think that maybe the spirits knew all along that you were going to be a nomon one day.”

Anya grinned tiredly but looked confused. “What is Hun…hun....”

“Hungarian, babe.” Raven whispered as she stroked her pup’s cheek. “Hungary was a country from the Old World. I will tell you all about it a different day.”

Little Cleo started to fuss which in turn caused baby Andy to fuss as well.

“They are hungry,” Abby informed. “They have been waiting a very long time to eat properly.”

Clarke was still speechless. She couldn’t take her eyes off the tiny little bundle in her hands. She had dreamt of having a pup of her own once when she was much younger, but she had squashed that dream because life on the Ark was no place that she ever wanted to raise a child, but here with Lexa, she couldn’t think of anything she wanted more, and now she had it. 

“Look what we made together, Lex.” The omega’s voice was raspy with fatigue.

She looked up to find her mate staring at her. “You are so beautiful, strik pakstoka (little wolf),” Lexa leaned in to kiss her mate, “and you have made me so happy.”

Clarke partly uncovered herself so that she could feed little Cleo. 

“Whoa,” Raven shielded her eyes. “Warn a person if you are going to whip a booby out like that.”

“Knock it off, Raven,” Anya said as she did the same thing. She gasped when her pup latched on and started to suckle for the very first time.

Money was won and lost that day as word got out about Polis’ newest citizens. Jasper was completely heartbroken when he heard that Clarke hadn’t sworn or threatened the Commander even once, but Monty took in a good haul with how many times Anya had cursed out her mate. In the end, little old Zelda had won the lion’s share of the money. Some chalked it up to age, but there were those who remembered that the tea seller had also been a midwife until her late 60’s. If anyone knew about giving birth and pups, it was her. She also had six pups, all grown, of her own.

A few hours later, Clarke and Lexa were able to return to their rooms with the promise that the omega would only get up to relieve herself, but Anya would have to stay in her bed for at least another day or two. Clarke may have been able to alleviate much of the alpha’s pain of birth with the strange connection she had made between her and their mates, but it didn’t mean the effect on her body was any less. It had taken a toll on the alpha, and Abby wanted to watch her closely to make sure there weren’t any hidden problems or lingering effects on Anya’s body.

For once, the alpha didn’t complain. She was too tired to care. All she wanted was her mate and her pup in her arms. Where that happened was of no consequence to her. She sent out a silent prayer of thanks to the spirits and Clarke for having made the birth of her pup a relatively easy one. She’s not sure she would have survived the pain if the omega hadn’t been there to take it away from her, and she now understood why alpha pregnancies were so rare. The alpha body wasn’t as equipped to handle giving birth the way an omega’s body was.

She looked at Raven, who had dark circles under her eyes. Her poor alpha had been the one to suffer, but aside from a few groans, Raven, and Lexa too, had suffered in silence. Not once did they complain about the pain they were feeling. Both had expressed that they were happy to have been able to bear the pain for their wives. It was the least they could do in return for their mates’ giving them the most precious gifts they had ever been given.

Abby, who was still running tests, had the guards push the two beds all the way together so that Raven could lie down next to the new nomon. As soon as the Skai alpha was in the bed, she plastered herself to her mate and watched in awe as Anya fed their pup for the first time. 

“She has your eyes and cheekbones,” Raven noticed. 

“Sha (yes), but she has your hair.” 

It was true. The little pup had a shock of dark brown, curly hair on the top of her head. 

“I wonder where the curls came from?” Raven mused.

Anya shook her head, not knowing.

Abby grinned at the new mothers. “It will probably straighten out in a couple of months.” She handed Anya a hot mug of healing broth. “Drink all of it.” She handed another to Raven. “You, too.”

“I hope it doesn’t straighten out,” Raven said as she carefully stroked her hand through the incredibly soft, downy hair. 

Anya kissed the moving fingers. “Me too.”

In their chambers, Lexa moved the blankets covering Clarke’s nest and helped her omega settle. She had tried to convince the tired blonde to get into the bed, but her mate had insisted that she wouldn’t be comfortable unless she was in the nest. 

As soon as Clarke was propped on a bunch of pillows, Lexa handed her the broth that Abby had sent for them. There were also steaming plates of food waiting for them when they wanted them. 

The food went ignored, at least for a while. After finishing their hot drinks, the little family of three all fell asleep. Cleo as Clarke called her, and Madi as Lexa was calling her, had fallen asleep on her mother’s chest.

It was dark when Clarke stirred again. She was cold and her arms were empty. She had a moment of panic finding herself alone, but then she could hear her mate moving around the room. She was singing a quiet lullaby to their daughter. 

Normally it would be about a week before they knew the designation of their pup, but already Clarke’s ultra-sensitive nose could detect the subtle sweet omega scent coming off her daughter. Her heart soared. She…they had an omega daughter. 

If she were still on the Ark, this fact would have had her crying. The terror of having an omega on the Ark would have destroyed her, knowing her pup would be treated horribly for the duration of her life, but here on Earth, her pup would grow up happy without the worries or mistreatment that Clarke had suffered while circling the planet. 

Cleo would have the chance to play and grow. She would have the chance to decide who she wanted to be without having it forced upon her. She could be a warrior, a doctor, a chef, or an artist. The sky was the limit for her pup, and she had Lexa, her amazing and beautiful mate to thank for that.

She tried to extract herself from the fluffy confines of her homemade cave, but she wasn’t able to get up by herself. Lexa must have heard her struggling because before she knew it, blankets were being pulled back and the smiling face of her mate appeared.

“You’re awake.” The alpha undid the covers making the roof of nest. After that, she ran to the beautifully crafted crib Bellamy and Echo had made for them and put their sleeping baby down, making sure not to wake her. Only then did she run back to her wife to help her up. 

Instead of getting Clarke to her feet, she swooped the omega up bridal style. She slowly swayed with her wife in her arms while humming the lullaby. Lexa hadn’t stopped smiling since their pup was born. 

When she stopped moving, she set the omega on the edge of the bed. “I still can’t believe this is real,” the alpha said. She glanced into the next room where she could see their little girl sleeping peacefully. She got on her knees in front of Clarke so that she was eye-level with the omega. “Since I met you, I have never been happier, and I know I made some mistakes in the past, but I want you to know that I will not ever, ever make mistakes like that again. You and strik Madi are the most important people in my life, and I need you to know that nothing will ever come before the two of you.”

Clarke knew she was being sincere, but she decided to test her anyway. “Not even Coalition business?”

“I can delegate. Ai laik Heda (I am the Commander).”

Clarke snickered and then groaned when it made things hurt. Lexa stood, taking Clarke’s legs with her so that the omega was long sitting on the bed. “Should we see what’s under those plates?”

“Yes, but can you put the cushions back on the couch? I can’t stand the idea of not being near Cleo right now.”

Lexa snickered this time. “Our poor girl is going to be so confused if we both call her different names.”

“No, she won’t. She’s our pup. That means she’s smart. It also means she’s going to be kind, and care about others, and be good with a sword even if I don’t want her to be.” Clarke looked thoughtful. “Do you think she will be able to turn into a wolf like me?”

“Keyron help all of us if she can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come so far together in this story, and there are only two chapters left. I am struggling to believe that. I have no idea how I wrote this long tale of mine. 
> 
> Don't worry if you hate the name Cleo. I think I kind of like it, but to everyone except Clarke, she will always be Madi. Oh, and can I just say that I think people would pay good money to Wanheda if she could use her power to take away the pain of pregnancy and give it away to the other parent. Seems only fair to share the pain, dontcha think?


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Lexa stood up from kissing their daughter on the crown of her head. “Will you miss me while I am gone?”

“You are only going to be gone for four hours,” Clarke teased, “but yes we will both miss you.”

It was Clarke’s turn for a kiss. “What will you do while I am gone?”

“Anya and I are going to go for a walk with the girls. It’s a beautiful day, and I want to get outside.”

Clarke had spent too much time inside; first because Cleo had just been born, but then because of several weeks of bad weather. She was itching to get outside. She wanted to run free, but she was not willing to leave her daughter’s side long enough to do that, even if Lexa did tell her that she would take the pup to her meeting with her so that Clarke could have some alone time. 

It would be unorthodox, but there was nothing saying that the Commander of the 12 clans couldn’t bring her child with her to her meetings, especially informal ones like the ones she was having today.

“I don’t need alone time. I don’t like even like being away from you right now, let alone Cleo.”

“Our sweet Madi.” She cooed at her pup who was being held in Clarke’s arms. Not being able to help herself, she held out her arms hoping her mate would give up holding their child for the few minutes Lexa had before she needed to leave.

She was in luck. Clarke carefully supported the baby’s head as she passed her over. “I still can’t believe her eyes. They are greener than yours are.” 

“I like her blonde curls,” Lexa observed. She sniffed at her pup’s head. That new pup smell was absolutely addicting, and she couldn’t get enough of it. Neither could Clarke. The two of them had even play fought over who got to hold Cleo sometimes.

It had led to the first playful wrestling match they had ever had. It was a day that Clarke was feeling feisty and antsy to get outside, but a dangerous thunderstorm was keeping them trapped indoors. Anya and Raven were visiting with Andy, and Lexa had been ‘hogging’ (Clarke’s word) Cleo for too long. 

It was Lexa’s idea to have the wrestling match, and to say the omega was surprised was an understatement. Even though it was her idea, the alpha reluctantly handed Madi off to Raven before moving the furniture out of the way so the two of them could wrestle. The winner didn’t have to share Madi for the rest of the day.

“Your child is going to have multiple personalities if you two don’t decide which name to call her,” Anya snickered as she shifted Andy so that she could gently grab Cleo’s flailing foot.

“She is not,” Clarke and Lexa both protested.

“She already knows who’s calling her what. She looks at me when I call her Cleo, and she recognizes when Lexa calls her Madi. I mean, Raven has a hundred nicknames for you, and you are just fine. Well except for when she calls you…” 

Anya reached out and smacked Clarke’s knee. “Don’t you say it.”

“Oh, come on. It’s funny.” Clarke gave her an evil grin.

“It is not.” The General was blushing.

Raven was about to open her mouth, but her mate gave her a withering glare that shut her right up.

“Smart woman,” Anya said. “I told you what would happen if you said it again.”

Raven nodded and still didn’t say anything. 

Clarke burst out laughing. “She has you whipped, Rae.”

“And I enjoy it when she whips me,” she looked at Lexa who was still moving furniture. “I bet you never knew your General had so many kinks.”

“I’ll remind you that I am the one who can make someone break their own neck submitting to me, so unless you want a demonstration of that, I suggest you keep your bedroom activities to yourself.”

Raven paled. Her and Lexa had already had numerous conversations about what had happened that day with Diana Sydney. Lexa had not really had time to process what she had done that day. Not until after her rut was over, but after that, it had taken a toll on the Commander, and Raven had felt honored that she was the first person Lexa had confided to about this.

It was not dissimilar to Clarke’s reaction over how she killed Jaha. She had spent a lot of time speaking with Anya and Gaia about it. 

For some reason, even though they had meant to, Lexa and Clarke had come up speechless when it came to confiding in one another about their feelings, and it was Abby’s council that made them realize that it was likely because they didn’t want to burst the bubble they had been in since Clarke’s heat and the news that she was pregnant. They had both avoided speaking about dark things with each other in attempt to keep things light and positive. 

Abby had told them that it was fine to do this so long as they spoke to someone. They would speak to each other about it when they were ready.

“Are you ready to wrestle, ai hodnes?” Lexa asked having finished moving things out of the way.

“I am, and when I win, you won’t be able to pry Cleo out of my arms.”

“Big words, omega,” Anya said. “Not even I can best her anymore.”

Lexa smiled smugly.

“Yeah, well I am Wanheda.”

“And that means nothing. No shifting. You will scare Andy,” Raven warned.

“Fine,” Clarke huffed.

Clarke didn’t give her mate a chance to get into her stance. She leapt at Lexa with a ferocious growl that had Anya and Raven griping that she was going to scare the babies. She quieted down but was on top of Lexa in an instant. 

Lexa let her grope and flail at her. The blonde’s moves were completely ineffective at moving the alpha, but the Commander had to give her kudos for trying so hard.

When she finally decided to move, Lexa had Clarke pinned to the floor in only three moves. “Ha. Looks like Madi is mine for the rest of the day.”

Clarke sighed. She would never be a match for her alpha. Not in her human form.

Lexa started to let her up, but as soon as Clarke’s hands were free, she started to tickle the alpha making the brunette squeal in an unHeda-like manner. The omega flipped her wife onto her back and used her legs to pin the Commander’s arms and sent out sweet pheromones meant to short-circuit the alpha’s brain.

“That wasn’t fair, hodnes,” said with a dopey smile on her face.

Clarke grinned. “All is fair in love and war, Lex.”

She got off her wife and picked up their daughter. “I know you let me win. Thank you.”

Lexa chuckled. “You know I could never deny you.” She got to her feet. “Next time, though, I might do just that. I can’t get enough of holding our pup.”

Anya rolled her eyes at the couple. “The way you two coddle her, she will be two before she ever gets to put her feet on the ground.”

“Oh, please,” Clarke guffawed. “You are no better, and you know it.”

The sun was bright, and the air was crisp as Anya and Clarke pushed their strollers through the market. Already the extra storage pockets at the back of both strollers were filled with goodies for their mates. The omega felt bad that her mate had to sit through meetings each day while she was given a reprieve from her duties. 

It was another starkly different situation from what it would have been if she were still up on the Ark. Omegas, after giving birth, weren’t given time to bond properly with their pups because they were forced to go about their duties like it was any other day, but here on the ground, Clarke would be given all the time she needed to spend with her pup. Lexa unfortunately didn’t have that same luxury, and that is why Clarke spent much of her time walking with the pups and Anya picking out special treats for her mate.

Anya pointed. “Get her some of those. She loves them.”

Clarke made a face. It was a jar of pickled fish that she certainly hadn’t ever seen Lexa eat before. “Are you kidding?”

Anya shook her head. “No. She’s loved them since she was just a pup. They are very hard to come by, and the vendors don’t often have them. I promise you, she will be elated and probably eat the entire jar in one sitting, especially if you get her some of that bread over there to go with it, but I will warn you, they stink. You won’t want to be near her after that.”

“Do you like them?” 

Anya shook her head again. “They are an acquired taste. It was something she enjoyed eating with Titus.”

A strange emotion flooded Clarke at the mention of the former Fleimkepa, but she tamped the unusual feeling down, and instead bought three of the four available jars of the ugly pickled fish hoping that her friend wasn’t lying to her. 

“We should probably be heading back,” Anya said. “I think I smell something bad, and it’s not from those fish you just bought. By the way she is squirming, I think Andy needs a diaper change.”

As if setting off a chain reaction, Madi started to scrunch her face up and grunt. The harsh odor that assailed their noses confirmed that now both girls needed to be changed. 

“Ugh, this might be the only part of having a child that I don’t like,” Clarke complained. She didn’t even mind the crying in the middle of the night, but the diapers were just…yuck.

Anya laughed. “I will change her for you. I don’t mind it.”

It was odd but in the best kind of way, how well Anya had taken to motherhood. Once Andrea Rae had been born, something in Anya had calmed. She wasn’t as quick tempered, and more often than not, a smile could be seen on her face. That’s not to say that she wasn’t protective. Do something to upset her little girl, and Anya was as fierce as a tiger that had gotten its tail stepped on, but overall, her entire demeanor had softened. Watching the way she blossomed into being a mother was something everyone enjoyed witnessing. 

“We also need to get back because when Raven left, she had that look in her eye that meant she was up to no good. I really don’t want another explosion like the one she caused last month when she decided to see just how flammable Jasper’s hooch was.”

Clarke chuckled and lifted her stinky daughter out of her stroller while she looked for a place they could change the pair of dirty diapers. She lifted her head when she heard a strange sound.

It was like the universe knew they were speaking of the mechanic because just as Anya was finishing her sentence, a low rumbling could be heard from close to the workshop Raven had been given on the opposite side of the market.

“What’s that sound?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t know, and I don’t know if I want to know. That came from my mate’s shop.”

The rumbling sound started to move and was getting closer to them. All the people in the market stopped what they were doing and turned their heads to see what was making the racket. 

People started moving out of the way when a figure, dressed in tight black leather, with a strange shiny helmet on their head, approached on a two-wheeled contraption like nothing any of them had ever seen before. The machine was loud and drowned out any words that the citizens in the market were saying.

The thing rolled right up to where Clarke and Anya were standing, both pressing their hands over their pups’ heads to make sure the noise didn’t hurt their delicate little ears.

The slim figure put down a kickstand and made a show of getting off the two-wheeled system. The person lifted their hands and pulled the shiny helmet off their head, and the grinning face of Raven appeared. The sunlight streaming through the market made her look like some kind of space invader, and well, she sort of was, or had been at one point. 

Anya was speechless. She had no idea what she was looking at, only that her mate had gotten off the infernal thing. 

Clarke pointed. “What the hell is that thing?”

Raven petted her machine. “This is a motorcycle.” She was vibrating in her excitement. “Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?” She was puffed up with pride at what she had made.

“What it looks like is dangerous,” Anya growled. 

Raven walked up to her mate. “Well, you seem to like something. You’re drooling, baby mama.” She wiped Anya’s chin, making the alpha growl.

“Stop that,” Anya grumped, “and turn that thing off. It’s hurting your pup’s ears.

Raven leaned over her daughter and grinned. “I don’t think so. Look at that adorable little smile.” Raven tousled the clothes over her infant’s stomach making the little girl wiggle. A tiny hand latched onto the leather clad alpha’s long index finger.

“You like it when your mama wears leather, don’t you? It makes her look rough and tough.” She lifted Andy into her arms. “Pee-ew, you stink.” Raven leaned over and found a cloth diaper in the stroller compartment, and without any hesitation walked over to her motorcycle and proceeded to change her daughter on the seat of the thing. 

Clarke and Anya watched on in silence. Raven treated her tools with better care than she treated herself, so watching as she adeptly cleaned her daughter on the seat of her new big toy came as quite a surprise.

Anya had a goofy smirk on her face while she watched, but it quickly turned into a frown when she heard Raven telling Andy how fun it would be when she could finally take the pup on a ride with her.

The General stomped over to her mate. “You will not ever take her on that thing.” As soon as Andy was clean and diapered, she snatched her daughter away from her mate.

“What,” Raven complained, “it’s perfectly safe.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be wearing leather and a helmet,” Anya countered.

“Not true. I am wearing leather and a helmet because I knew you would think I look hot. The cycle is safe. Watch.” Raven walked over and toppled the vehicle over. Before it could the ground, the entire thing was surrounded by a giant air bag.

All Anya could do was blink owlishly at her mate. Raven looked devilish. “See. No worries.”

“I still forbid you from giving our daughter a ride on that thing until she is at least,” Anya hesitated, “16 years old.”

Raven sauntered up to her mate, making sure to flaunt every inch of her leather covered skin. “How about you? Can I take you for a ride?”

Clarke rolled her eyes at the sexual inuendo. 

Raven ignored her. “I even had a set of leathers made for you. I know how much you adore it, and I wouldn’t mind seeing you in the skin-tight leather pants I had made. They are cherry red. The leather jacket is black, because no self-respecting person would ever wear a leather jacket that isn’t black.”

“Are they really red?” Anya asked with a look of longing in her eyes. She really did have a thing for leather clothing.

“Take a ride back to the shop with me and see.”

Clarke sighed. “Here we go in three…two…one.”

“Clarke, ai seken…”

“Yes, Anya, I will take Andy and Cleo back to the tower. I will baby sit until you satisfy whatever fetish...until you finish doing whatever it is you two are going to do. Just don’t give me the details, and change Cleo’s diaper first. You said you would.”

In under three minutes the alpha had Cleo changed and back in her stroller. With a confidence that Clarke was surprised about, she got on the back of Raven’s motorcycle and squealed when Raven spun out as she took her mate for a ride.

A hand landed on Clarke’s shoulder, scaring her half to death. She spun, ready to attack, and her mother held up her hands.

“Sorry,” Abby apologized.

“How is it that you are the only person who can sneak up on me like that?” Clarke said once she got her heartrate back under control.

Abby couldn’t help but laugh as she looked from her daughter to her granddaughter. “I think it’s probably that your heightened senses don’t see me as a threat. I am your mother after all.”

“Yeah, I guess, but stop doing it. I don’t like it.” Clarke could rarely be taken by surprise, and it seemed that Abby took far too much joy in trying to give her daughter a good fright.

“Oh, come on. It’s good for you,” Abby teased good naturedly.

“It is not. I think you made me leak. Things haven’t fully tightened up down there since Cleo was born.” She waved her hand up and down at her lower region, making Abby laugh even harder. 

“Sorry, honey. Do I need to grab a diaper out of the bag for you?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes at her mom. 

“Calm down, Wanheda, and let an old woman have some fun.” She lifted a now sleepy Cleo into her arms.

“How is my little Madi?” She blew raspberries at the child.

Clarke was beginning to wonder if maybe her pup really would get whiplash from always being called a different name. Between being called Cleo and Madi, Raven called her the Madster or her Royal Highness Miss Cleopatra, and Gaia called her baby Heda which Clarke really didn’t like because she did not want her child to become Commander. That was the one thing she was certain of.

Things were peaceful now but being Heda came with more responsibility than she ever wanted her pup to have.

Abby moved and deftly scooped Andy into her other arm. The older alpha started swaying the little girls from side to side, and they quickly fell asleep.

“Come have lunch with me. I have something I want to talk to you about.” Abby suddenly appeared nervous as she secured the two babies in the stroller, and Clarke caught a scent coming off her mother like she had never smelled before. It roused her suspicions at the same time as making her want to ease whatever tension her sire was feeling.

Clarke didn’t really have a reason to refuse, and her curiosity was piqued. She wanted to know what was making her mom so anxious all of a sudden.

“Sure, let’s go get a burger.”

“You’re what now?” Clarke nearly choked on her last bite of burger. She quickly washed the food down with some of her drink. After that, she stared, waiting for her mother to respond.

“Well, ah, Marcus and I have been dating for a while, you know this, and we want to make our relationship official, so when my next rut hits, we are going to mate. We also want a pup of our own, so we’ve decided to adopt.”

Clarke was elated and grossed out all at the same time. She was excited for her mom. At first, she hadn’t wanted Abby to date Kane. It felt like a betrayal to her dad’s memory, but she quickly realized that her mother deserved some happiness too, and Kane was a good man. She did not, however, want to think of her mother having sex.

She took another sip of her drink. “So, you’re going to adopt? I’m going to have a little brother or sister?”

Suddenly, Clarke’s heart rate sped up in excitement. The thought of having a sibling was something she had never considered before.

“You are. We’ve already started the paperwork. There’s a boy at the orphanage, Clarke, and he looks just like your father. He’s about 8 years old, but he’s never been adopted because his hand is deformed. I think with a simple surgical procedure, I might be able to fix it for him if he wants.”

Abby gave her a hopeful look. “We’ve visited him a few times. He’s so much like you, Honey, it’s astounding. He’s a little beta boy, but he’s stubborn and feisty, and he has a thirst for knowledge like none I have ever seen. I am hoping that maybe one day he will want to be a doctor just like me.”

“Wow, Mom. That’s great.” The omega reached over and took her mother’s hands. “I am really happy for you.”

“Thank you, Honey. That’s not the only thing I wanted to talk to you about.” 

“What more could there be?” Clarke wondered. “That’s some pretty exciting stuff you just told me. How can there be more?”

“Well, uh, there’s another boy there, an alpha who’s about 10, but he’s shy and reserved. He just got there. Both of his parents recently died when their cabin in the woods burnt down, so he’s pretty sad and lonely. He mostly keeps to himself, but I think you and Lexa would really like him, and a boy his age is going to have such a hard time finding a home. I was thinking that maybe the two of you could go and meet him.”

Clarke’s mouth formed a perfect ‘O’. She was speechless for a minute. “You want us to adopt a 10-year-old boy? I only just had Cleo.”

“Before you say no, please just meet him with Lexa. He’s special. He has the same blue eyes that you do, but I have a feeling that he’s a lot like Lexa. There’s just something about him. It’s a feeling I get every time I have seen him. I don’t know why, but I think he was meant to be yours.”

Clarke wasn’t sure. She and Lexa were new mothers, but would it really hurt to go and see this boy?

“What’s his name?” Clarke asked.

“Aden. His name is Aden.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aden. I just couldn't have Clarke and Lexa building a family without little Aden. I know, when it comes down to it, he was hardly part of the show, but the actor who played him may have been the most adorable boy I have ever seen, and I just loved the whole idea of Lexa having someone like Aden to love and cherish. 
> 
> There's only one chapter. I believe it's the longest chapter I have ever written. I still need to edit, but as soon as I do, I will get it to you. I can't thank all of you enough for sticking with me through this long, long story. Never in my wildest imaginings did I think I would write such a long story, but I am getting ahead of myself because we aren't quite at the end yet. 
> 
> For those of you who are interested, I will be posting the first chapter of a new story on the same day as I finish this one. I hope you will all join me for that journey as well.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The last chapter. I sincerely hope you all like it. Writing a last chapter isn't always easy because it's hard to wrap things up. Letting go of characters you have come to love is never easy, but this story is long enough. I might add a future chapter here and there with little snippets into their lives, but I also might not.
> 
> Please know that I have loved taking this journey with all of you, and your kudos and comments have kept me going. There has been no better motivation than hearing from all of you.

Chapter 47

They went to see Aden the next day at the orphanage. At first, Lexa thought that they should have Anya and Raven babysit Madi, but Clarke convinced her mate that if, and it was a very big if, Aden were to become part of their family, they would need to see how he reacted to their infant daughter.

At first, Clarke wasn’t sure she wanted to meet the alpha boy. She and Lexa were already in charge of a new, tiny life. Her heart was already so full of her love for Cleo and Lexa. Selfishly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to share that love, or let anyone else into her new family. 

She almost didn’t say anything to Lexa about Aden, but she had promised her mother that she would, so that night, after Cleo was asleep in her crib, she brought the subject up with Lexa.

Her alpha’s reaction was nothing like hers. There was no hesitance from Lexa at all. She readily agreed to meet the boy the next day. She seemed excited to consider the new addition to their little family, and went on and on about what they could offer the boy, and how she could have him train as her seken (second), and how it would be good for Madi to have a big brother.

“Hold up.” Clarke stopped the animated alpha. “You haven’t even met him yet. What if he’s a monster; the kind of kid that hurts small animals and grows up to be a serial killer.”

Lexa sighed and made a show of rolling her eyes at her mate. “Niron, he is just a boy; a boy whose already faced a terrible loss. What if it was Madi in there because something happened to us. Wouldn’t you want her to be given a chance?”

Clarke shivered, not wanting to consider what would happen to her pup if something were to happen to the two of them. Sure, they had an enormous support system, so she would probably be fine, but still, she had to wonder.

“You’re right,” she conceded. “We should go and meet him.”

Then next morning, they both dressed carefully. Lexa didn’t wear anything to make her look like the intimidating Commander that she was, and Clarke wore something that she thought made her look motherly.

Raven, who had come to drop something off for Lexa before they left had laughed openly at the omega. “Clarke, have you seen you lately? Your clothes scream of new mother.”

Clarke looked down at herself. She was dressed neatly in a loose, cream colored dress with little blue flowers on it. She smacked Raven on the shoulder. “I am a new mother, and what’s wrong with this? I think it’s pretty.”

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Raven covered her grin with her fist.

“Lex, tell me what’s wrong with this dress?” Clarke, now that she could get them, enjoyed wearing dresses from time to time. She enjoyed her traditional grounder clothing, but she liked looking and feeling pretty, and dresses made her feel that way, and for their meeting with Aden, she wanted to make a good impression, even if she was having her doubts about meeting the young alpha.

“My love, there is nothing wrong with your dress. You look gorgeous.”

“But…”

“Don’t you know by now not to listen to the irritating little bird. She’s all squawk. You know this. She’s…” Lexa had to think of the term, “yanking your chain.” She gave Raven a hard look. “Aren’t you Raven?”

The mechanic cackled. “You know I am. It’s so easy to set her off these days. Anya too. I thought the pregnancy hormones would have been gone by now.”

“You feel what it’s like to push something the size of a melon out of your vagina and see how easily you are set off,” Clarke griped. 

“Uh, I do know what it feels like. You kind of gave us all your pain, remember?”

Clarke blushed. “Oh yeah.”

Lexa interrupted their conversation after grabbing at her stomach. She distinctly remembered what it felt like as Clarke was pushing their pup into the world. “It’s time for us to go, ai tombom.”

When they got to the orphanage, Clarke was impressed by the place. It was spacious and clean, and the children all looked happy and well cared for. All were playing together in a courtyard filled with toys; all except Aden. 

The kindly woman who ran the orphanage pointed him out. He was sitting on a bench, quietly playing by himself with two dolls. On closer inspection, the omega could see that one was a crudely made doll, or action figure as Raven would call it, of Heda. The other was a stuffed wolf. She was starting to like the boy already.

The omega approached cautiously. It had been decided that Lexa would hold herself back until the boy had talked to her mate first. She was too recognizable and didn’t want to create a stir with the other children, and while the tales of Wanheda were all the kids were talking about these days, Clarke herself had never been seen by these pups before. All they knew about was the blonde omega who could turn into a wolf. She was still just a story to them.

Clarke moved in close to Aden, but she didn’t sit down. “Hey, big guy, would it be okay if I sit here?”

Startled blue eyes looked up at the omega, and in that instant, she knew she was a goner. It was like this little boy was looking directly into her soul, and she knew then and there that this pup with the brilliant blue eyes was meant to be a part of their family. There was just something about him, and Abby had been right, even though he didn’t look like Lexa there was something about him that made her think of her mate.

Aden didn’t say anything, but he did scoot over. Clarke took that to mean that it was all the invitation she was going to get. 

He wouldn’t look up at her, only at the toys in his hands. 

“That’s a pretty cool wolf. Is that supposed to be Wanheda?”

He nodded, perking up just a little bit. 

“Did you know that I know Wanheda?” 

His eyes got huge, and Clarke now had all his attention. “I know Heda too.”

“Really?” He asked in a small, hesitant voice. If Clarke had her way, she would put him in her pocket and take him home right then.

“It’s true. What do you know about her?” Clarke knew that all the pups in Polis liked to go on and on about their Heda and her almost superhuman powers. The story of how she had “singlehandedly” defeated the Ark while Wanheda took care of the bad, bad woman was one that the children were still telling each other every day. It seemed that with each passing day, the story grew, and with it so did the legend of Heda and Wanheda. Clarke still wasn’t used to it, but her alpha loved it. Raven teased that it stroked her ego a little too much.

“She’s badass,” Aden whispered then blushed knowing he said a bad word.

Clarke chuckled. “She is badass, and you know what else? She’s my mate.”

“That means…that means you are Wanheda,” he said in disbelief.

“I am, Aden, and Heda, who is right over there,” Clarke pointed to where Lexa was patiently waiting, “would very much like to meet you.”

The blonde was taken completely by surprise when the pup started to tremble violently as soon as he saw the real Lexa. Clarke couldn’t figure it out. He had been in awe of the thought of Lexa just a moment ago, but now he seemed scared. He scooted closer to Clarke trying to make himself small enough to hide from Heda’s gaze.

“Hey, buddy, it’s okay. She’s not going to hurt you.” Clarke did her best to try and calm the upset boy.

Aden buried his face in her side.

“Aden, you don’t need to be afraid of her.” She could feel his fear.

“But nomon and nontu (mother and father) said that if I ever saw Heda or the Fleimkepas I was to hide from them.” His words were almost to faint to make out with the way he was trying to hide himself in Clarke’s side.

Clarke looked over to where Lexa was standing. Her mate hadn’t moved, but she looked hurt and upset. Clarke could feel her anguish and was confused as to why she was so upset by what the pup had said. There could be a thousand reasons for the pup’s parents to tell him to hide.

It appeared Lexa knew exactly why he was told to hide, but Clarke was still confused.

“Why would they tell you to hide Aden?”

The pup trembled against Clarke and wouldn’t answer. Lexa slowly approached and knelt down so that she was eye level with him.

“Aden, I am Lexa kom Trikru, Heda of the 12 clans. You don’t need to be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you.” Lexa said as calmly as she could.

He pressed himself further into Clarke and clutched his toys like they were his lifelines, and she couldn’t help but hug him to her. She looked up at Lexa.

Clarke and Lexa started to send out soothing pheromones in an attempt to calm the frightened young alpha. It didn’t seem to help. The omega looked to Lexa for an explanation.

“I think I know why you are afraid of me, Aden, but I want you to know that since I became Heda, no nightbloods have been forced to come to Polis. I don’t steal children from their families because of the color of their blood.”

Shy blue eyes looked up at Heda.

“You should also know that Wanheda and I, we just had a pup of our own. A little omega girl. She’s right over there.” Lexa pointed to where Raven, who decided to tag along, was holding Madi. “She’s a nightblood too, and I have already promised her that there will never be another Conclave, not like the one you know about. Natblidas (nightbloods) will never be forced to kill one another again. I promise you, Aden, and I always keep my promises.”

“Promise?” Eyes that were a little less scared looked at Heda.

“I do, but if I ever break a promise to you, you can sick Wanheda on me. Her fangs are longer than my hand.”

“Wow.” He looked at Clarke. “Can I see?” Lexa smiled at his bravery.

Clarke was going to say not right now, but Lexa dug into her pocket and pulled one out. She handed it to the pup. 

The omega gave Heda a look that said, ‘what the fuck’ and ‘why are you carrying that’ but she didn’t say anything. She would have to ask Lexa about it later.

Aden ran his finger along the razor-sharp tooth. “Be careful. It’s sharp.” Clarke couldn’t help herself, and she could see Raven’s amusement on the other side of the courtyard. The mechanic mouthed, “Such a mother” at her.

“This came out of your head? Will you show me one day?” His fear was decreasing, and he was now filled with hope that one day he would see the great Wanheda.

After Clarke agreed that someday soon she would show him her other form, the ice was broken, and Aden asked them what had to be a hundred questions about themselves, the battles Heda had seen, and what it really meant to be a nightblood.

He showed them how he played with his two toys, and eventually Raven walked over so he could meet their pup. He was ecstatic. He smiled and cooed at her and talked to her like she would be able to talk back to him. 

Clarke’s heart was in her throat when he asked if he could hold Cleo, but she squashed that fear, and was genuinely surprised with how gentle and caring Aden was with her daughter. He cradled the pup to his chest being careful to support her head, and Clarke couldn’t help the tear that slipped from her eye when the little boy started to purr for her pup.

She looked up at Lexa and smiled as the alpha swiped at a tear of her own.

Later that day, they got to bring Aden home with them. Being Heda meant that she didn’t have to wait the mandatory waiting period like Abby and Kane did for the pup who they wanted to adopt. 

The proud alpha couldn’t believe that they were adding to their family so shortly after having Madi, but it felt right. There was just something about Aden that made her think of herself.

When they got back to the tower, they realized they had made a mistake. They hadn’t prepared to bring Aden home with them that day, so after issuing over a dozen commands, a flurry of activity began as servants rearranged their rooms so that Aden would have a private space to himself. 

For now, Lexa’s office was turned into his bedroom, but the next day, preparations would be made to rip out one of the walls that led to a set of empty rooms next to their chambers. Construction would begin and the space would be transformed into a bedroom (or three – Lexa was thinking of a future with even more pups), and another bathroom. 

While this was going on, Clarke sat on the floor with Cleo in her lap, and helped the young alpha use colored pencils to draw up plans of how he wanted his space to be decorated. The gleam in her omega’s eyes let Lexa know that they had made the right decision, no matter how quickly it was made. For hours, Aden and Clarke colored and played and even wrestled for a while (after Clarke finally let Lexa hold their little girl), and Lexa ushered in new furniture, toys, clothing, and anything she could think of that the newest addition to their family might need. All the while she held Madi close to her nearly brimming over with excitement as she watched the progress being made in their home. She also couldn’t contain her delight as she watched Clarke play with Aden. It was a new side of Clarke she had never seen before and watching her wife tussle with the pup was something Lexa had thought she would never get to witness.

Lexa also marveled at the fact that since meeting Aden, her daughter had been calm. When she did start to fuss, Clarke and Aden would both launch to their feet to see what was wrong. Already the boy seemed to be protective of the tiny pup, and it had Lexa’s heart swelling.

That first day was easy, but that’s not to say that things were always easy; not at first. Aden frequently had nightmares about the fire that killed his parents, but Lexa or Clarke were always there to help ease his fears. He also had a healthy fear of doctors. He liked Abby, but he would not allow her to do any tests on him. His parents had instilled this fear in him so that his black blood would never be discovered.

It took Lexa allowing her own blood to be taken, and then that of little Madi’s (it was time for her routine checkup anyway), for him to allow the tests. He was hesitant, but what really sealed the deal was when Clarke let her blood be drawn along with a promise to go out in the woods with him and transform so he could see the furry version of his new nomon.

It didn’t take much time for him to love and adore both his new parents. He had an almost hero-type worship of Lexa once he wasn’t afraid of her anymore, and Clarke, she wasn’t just his nomon, she was his best friend. They would rough and tumble together, play hide and seek, and train together with Anya and Lexa as their firsts. 

It was a special bond, and Lexa couldn’t get over her love for her new family, or the way that when Clarke played with Aden, the omega almost regressed into the child she never got to be. It was fun to watch her wife forget about being a mother or Wanheda and simply play with their son, because that’s what Aden was, he was their son.

Over the years, they added two more pups to their family, and both times Clarke cheated and sped up her pregnancies by shifting into her wolf thus shortening the length she had to carry from nine months to just under six. Each time, Lexa and Abby had worried, but it had all been for nothing. The omega gave birth to two healthy pups. First an omega boy named, Jake, and two years later an alpha girl named after Lexa’s mother Myra. Lexa was still very reserved when it came to speaking about her youth before Anya became her fos. Clarke wasn’t sure she would ever know what happened, but she was honored to have a pup named after the woman who gave birth to the love of her life. 

Five years after starting her sentence in the Tower, Hannah Green decided to stay on as one of the servants. She enjoyed the work, and it kept her close to her son, Monty, and his mate, Harper. She was the grandmother to two small pups. After her forced mating to Ontari, she chose to remain alone, and she threw all of herself into being the best grandmother she could be.

Seven years after his sentencing, they got word that Luna had officially released Pike from his work sentence in Floukru, but the man decided he wanted to stay on as a fisherman. His working hours would be reduced to that of a normal day, and per his wishes, he became a formal member of the clan. Pike kom Floukru mated an omega soon after. Every year on the anniversary of his sentencing, he sent Clarke a letter apologizing for his actions toward her. At first, she tore them up, but as the years went on, the omega started reading the letters and even sent a few back to the man.

Twelve years after Nia’s sentence, it was coming to the day of the final part of her sentence when a messenger arrived in Polis. The former alpha Queen, who had struggled mightily over her years of hard labor throughout the clans, had perished in a mining accident. The woman had been crushed by a boulder during a cave-in while mining for iron to make weapons. Most thought it was an accident, but there were several people who wondered if the former alpha hadn’t caused the cave-in to avoid the painful death sentence awaiting her.

No one, especially Wanheda, was sorry that it ended this way for Nia kom Azgeda. Clarke was sometimes sorry that the woman struggled with having her alpha taken from her because she knew what that felt like, but she wasn’t sorry that it had happened.

It had taken Clarke some time for her to reconcile what had been done to Nia with how she felt about it, and one day she realized that Nia reaped what she sowed. 

Nia’s death went unnoticed by most of the people of the Coalition. Honestly, it hadn’t taken the people long to forget about her in the first place.

With Roan as the King of Azgeda, the clan and the rest of the Coalition started to prosper. With all clans in cooperation with one other, trade routes were made, necessary goods flowed from one clan to another, and the Coalition flourished, but most importantly, Lexa’s reign as Heda was a time of peace. 

There were still skirmishes, and always the political aspirations of others that tried to derail her rule, but Lexa always came out on top. In the twelve years since the fall of Nia and Skaikru, there had only been three battles to be fought, and each time, Lexa rode in with Wanheda at her side, and together they led their people to victory. 

Theirs was a time of harmony like none had ever experienced since the time before Praimfaya. 

In that time, it turned out that Anya was the Fertile Myrtle of the alpha world. Alpha pregnancies were still extremely rare, but Anya had four more pups before she told Raven she wouldn’t have any more. She had gotten pregnant two more times and each time had a set of twins. The first set of twins were fraternal. Both were omegas like their older sister Andy, but one was a boy, and one was a girl. The next set of twins were identical. Both were the spitting image of Raven, and both alphas. They grew up to be just like their sire, and all of Polis suffered from their constant antics and games. No one was safe.

All of Anya and Raven’s kids were smart, but not nearly as smart as the two pups that looked and acted just like their sire. With three Ravens running around Polis, the guards, sentries, and really everyone, had to stay alert. The ‘triple threat’ as Anya was known to call them were famous for the practical jokes they played all around Polis. Most were harmless, but a couple of times Heda had to step in and threaten the trio with banishment if they continued with their ways. That always stopped whatever they were up to…for a little while. They knew ‘Auntie Lexie’ would never banish them for real.

After the birth of her second set of twins, Anya retired as General. The birth took more out of her than anyone expected, even if Clarke had been there to help negate the pain. It took her several months to recover, and in that time, she decided she no longer wanted the responsibility of having an entire army to lead. She wanted more time to spend with her mate and five pups. Instead she became Lexa’s advisor, and Aden, who was now a young man, was groomed to take over her position.

When Clarke had first thought Aden was very much like Lexa, she wasn’t wrong. He emulated everything about the Commander, and as he grew, it became clear that he would become just as strong, and maybe even stronger, an alpha than Heda. His control and prowess went unmatched, and by the time he turned 21, no one could best him; not with weapons, not during hand-to-hand combat, and not with pheromones. Not even Lexa could beat him anymore. Gone was the scrawny little pup. Aden had grown into an imposing young man. He was all muscles and height. He stood a head over both of his nomons and weighed as much as Gustus. Clarke couldn’t be prouder of the man he had become. 

Not that Madi was a slouch. At 13 years old, she was a powerful omega, and she had many of Clarke’s traits. She could not transform like Clarke could, although she wished fervently that she could, but by the time she was a teen, she had heightened senses, strength, and speed, just like her omega mother. She also hit a growth spurt that had her looking like an adult, much to the dismay of her parents. She had an undying love for her people, and she was a natural born leader, and although Clarke hadn’t wanted it for her, it was her utmost desire to be Heda, so at 13 years old, Octavia became her fos.

The passionate Skai alpha had become a dedicated gona, and her loyalty to Lexa, and especially Clarke, was unmatched by anyone except perhaps Indra, Anya, and Gustus. She had also become a formidable warrior in her own right. She could still be impulsive, and was always quick to anger, but her mate Lincoln helped to temper the fiery woman.

Unlike most of her mated peers, Octavia and Lincoln decided not to have a pup right away. It was years before they finally had one, and he was a beautiful beta pup. Bellamy had been on Octavia’s case forever about not having more than one pup, especially considering Octavia’s upbringing on the Ark, but in the end, it was her and Lincoln’s decision, and it was the right one for them.

Bellamy and Echo, who had been unable to have children naturally, adopted four children of their own, but that wasn’t enough for them. Formal education was seriously lacking in the clans, and the two made it their mission, along with Murphy and Emori, to build schools all over the Coalition. It was hard work, and it meant a lot of travelling with their families, but their efforts payed off. By the time Pike was released from his sentence in Floukru, every citizen of the Coalition could read and write. Pike had been instrumental in the planning for the new schools. His former career as the Earth Skills teacher on the Ark went far in helping the others when it came to planning the schools and their curriculum, and even though he had to do it from the confines of a fishing boat most times, Charles Pike remained invested in trying to help as much as he could.

Madi, who was now only called Cleo by her omega mother, trained hard. She wanted to win her Conclave. Fortunately, the Conclave was no longer a fight to the death. It was a series of tests that would grade each nightblood based on their skills in leadership, compassion, fighting, and battle strategy, and no nightblood would be forced to participate unless they wanted to.

Fortunately for Clarke, she didn’t have to worry about her pup becoming Commander any time soon. By grounder standards, Lexa was old, especially since she was the longest reigning Heda in the history, but she was by no means ready to give up control. 

Leading the Coalition at this point was easy, and even afforded her the time to take extended vacations with her family or just her and Clarke. 

Twice a year, Clarke and Lexa took a week-long trip somewhere in the Coalition so that they could spend quality alone time together. Sometimes it coincided with their shared heat and rut, but sometimes it did not. 

Once their two youngest were old enough that Clarke was willing to leave them behind for a little while, the two Hedas would make their trips without fail, but this year was going to be a little different. 

Anya and Raven had been invited on the trip. The four of them had never taken a trip like this together, and now that Anya was mostly retired, they all thought it was time to get away.

Lexa was driving a rover with Clarke sitting beside her. They were listening to Old World music and enjoying their drive. Clarke leaned in to turn the music up. The motorcycles being driven by Anya and Raven were loud. 

Lexa, like Anya, had initially been suspicious of getting into or onto the metal contraptions that Raven insisted on continuing to build. Anya’s first ride on Raven’s motorcycle all those years ago had at first been frightening, but now the former General was hard pressed to get on a horse. She preferred donning her leathers, especially her beloved red leather pants, and riding on the custom-made cycle her mate had lovingly built for her, ensuring it was the safest vehicle in all the land.

Lexa too couldn’t deny that driving was easier, faster, and more comfortable than using horses. The hoofed creatures were still the primary source for travel in the Coalition, but the fleet of vehicles was growing, and Lexa enjoyed driving. 

It gave her a thrill like nothing else could, so she drove as often as she could which was good for Clarke because the omega loathed driving. She could do it, but she didn’t like it. She preferred sitting next to her alpha and holding her hand while they drove. 

This trip was taking them further away than any trip before. After a stop to see King Roan, they were going to travel further north to see the land once known as the Canadian Rockies. It was far outside Coalition lands, but with the creation of Raven’s vehicles, exploration had fast become a popular activity for many people, especially the nomads of the desert clan who wanted to find new and more hospitable homes. 

The discovery of the vast wilderness had come as a surprise to everyone. The fact that a largish population of people lived there came as even more a surprise. 

Heda and the others were quickly learning that the population of Earth was much greater than they had originally thought, and as they met new people, new treaties were made. There was now a concerted effort underway to unite all the people; the ones they knew and the ones they didn’t.

People were volunteering left and right to become part of the scouting crews that would trek past the known borders of the 12 clans. It was a new and exciting time of discovery for the people, and it was all made possible by their Heda, Wanheda, and the people they surrounded themselves with. 

Clarke had fallen asleep on her mate’s shoulder as Lexa drove. The alpha hated to wake her, but they were almost there.

She had just stopped their vehicle at their destination, but she didn’t immediately wake her wife. She gazed at Clarke for a few minutes.

The omega was still so stunningly beautiful. She had very slight wrinkles at the corners of her eyes and laugh lines around her mouth that told of a life well lived. She realized that the last time she studied herself in the mirror, she had the same little lines. They really did have the most amazing life, and there was still so much of it to be lived.

Lexa chuckled to herself. It made Clarke sound old, hell it made her sound old, but that was far from the case. She was only in her mid-thirties with Lexa only a couple years older than her. The alpha thought that Clarke was more beautiful now than she had ever been.

“Clarke, ai tombom (my heart), wake up. We are here.”

The omega lifted her head and gasped. Looking out the windshield of the rover she could see a vast blue lake. The water was so blue, it almost looked creamy. She had never seen such a color in nature before, and she immediately wanted to paint it. 

“The lodge is over there.” Lexa pointed her finger to a large, three-story, wooden chalet. The style of it was different than the buildings crafted in the Coalition, and it had been offered up for their use as part a new deal struck between these new people and their own.

After a week of vacation, Heda would iron out the formal introduction of these mountaineers to her people. Life was tough in the rugged mountains and having new trading pacts would greatly help them survive the tough winters. They also had much to offer the Coalition, most of that being timber. 

“That entire place is for us?” Clarke asked groggily.

Lexa opened the car door, letting in the cool air and making the omega shiver. It was still summer, but the air was cold this high in the mountains. 

“It is, hodnes, at least for the next week.”

Clarke unfolded herself and got out of the rover. She sniffed the air and already was itching to shift. She wanted to run in these new woods. 

Sensing her thoughts, Lexa said, “Later, if you let me come with you.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Clarke stated. “Where are Anya and Raven?”

Lexa pointed down to the shore of the lake. The two alphas were making out on a rock.

Clarke snorted. “If they keep that up, Anya will be pregnant with triplets by the time this vacation is over.”

“Oh, hell no, Wanheda,” Anya cried. “I heard that, and I am not having any more pups.”

Raven gave Clarke a devilish smile. “I don’t know. Triplets, or even quads…”

Anya pushed Raven into the freezing cold water. 

“What the fuck, Ahn.” A soggy and cold Raven pulled herself out of the water.

“If you want more pups, we are going to Abby and figuring out a way for you to carry them this time. How you haven’t gotten pregnant already is beyond me.”

Clarke, being the mother hen of all of them, ran to the back of the rover and pulled out a blanket. She trotted down to Raven and covered her with it. 

“Thanks, Mom.” Raven shook her head, getting Clarke and Anya wet.

“Hey, I just gave you a blanket, and that’s how you pay me back?” Clarke complained.

“It’s repayment for that time you came back from running as your wolf covered in mud and shook it all off…onto me.”

Clarke grinned. Cleo was twelve at the time, and she had taken her for a ride. She couldn’t help it if they had found some mud puddles to splash around in. Aden was their fastidious child. He kept things neat and clean, but Cleo was a walking tornado. She created messes wherever she went, and she loved getting dirty. She would go for days without bathing if her nomons didn’t make her shower. Myra and Jake were still young, so they took after their sister, and Cleo adored helping them make messes.

“That was like two years ago.” 

“And,” Raven smirked, “I never got you back for it.”

“Oh, so when you and your two mini-mes tricked me into putting on a hat that turned my hair pink, that wasn’t payback?” Clarke’s hair wasn’t just pink, it was fuchsia. It was four days before Clarke realized that if she shifted, that once she turned back into herself her hair would be normal again.

“Oh, come on.” Raven walked past her toward the lodge. “Your girls loved it, including Heda Hot Stuff over there.”

“She’s not wrong,” Lexa shivered at how sexy it made her wife look.

Clarke looked at Anya. “Do you realize that in all this time these two can never not back each other up?”

Raven slung an arm over Heda’s shoulder. “That’s what besties do.”

“Hmph.”

It was incredible the relationship Raven and Lexa had developed over the years. Lexa was playful with Raven and the minis the same way Clarke was with Aden. Sure, Lexa loved a good tussle with one of her pups, but the way she play fought, joked, laughed, and even cried with Raven was something else altogether. The omega was even sure that Raven knew the circumstances of Lexa’s childhood whereas she did not, but she was okay with that. As long as Lexa had someone she could trust to confide that information in, Clarke was okay with that. 

Besides, it was the same kind of relationship Clarke had with Anya, and she confided many things over the years to the alpha that she had not ever shared with her wife. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust each other with their secrets, it was that they knew there were things that they couldn’t burden their mates with. They were so close, and so in tune with one another, that sharing certain little things from their past would serve no other purpose than to upset the other, and they both strived never to do that. Theirs was a relationship built on love, positivity, laughter, and fun. In all the time they had been together, they had only fought three, maybe four times, and each time they resolved it quickly because they couldn’t stand being mad at one another.

Raven slung the door to the lodge open after she found the key under the mat where they were told it would be. “Come on, let’s get this party started.”

Anya groaned. “She always does this. She always leaves me to carry all the luggage.”

Raven came bounding out. “Not true. I was just staking out the bedrooms, and I snared us the loft on the third floor, Mama Bear.” She started grabbing gear from the back of the rover.

“Good. We will take whatever is on the first floor and far from the two of you.” Clarke looked at Lexa. “Remember that time we accidentally walked in on them. They sounded like a pack of hyenas fighting over a kill.”

Lexa cackled. “The image was scoured into my eyeballs and I hear them in my nightmares. How could I have forgotten?”

“That’s better than sounding like two screeching banshees. Geesh.” 

“We weren’t having sex, Rae, your damn urchins switched out our bubble bath with one made with hot peppers.”

Raven was practically crying she was laughing so hard, “And you both came flying down to our room so you could cool off your coochies in our tub. Those were good times…and hey, don’t call my kids urchins.”

“How do you put up with her lewd mouth?” Clarke asked Anya.

“You love the silk I spin with my mouth, don’t you, Ahn?” Raven stuck her tongue out suggestively.

Anya stood up and walked out of the lodge mumbling about getting the rest of the bags, face bright red.

“I think you might be sleeping in that loft by yourself tonight, Reivon,” Lexa said. 

“Enough of this,” Clarke commanded. “Let’s drop the bags and go explore. It’s far too gorgeous out here for us to stay inside teasing each other.”

Raven linked her arm with Clarke. “True, and we can tease each other anywhere. It doesn’t have to be in here.”

Later, after all three women had gotten the chance to have a ride on Wanheda’s back as she explored the forest, they sat outside by a stone fire pit, roasting fish that Lexa and Raven had caught for dinner.

Clarke looked over at her wife and friends. She never tired of giving them rides, and not once since the time she was first able to shift had anyone teased her about it or tried to tell her that she was being a glorified horse. She only gave rides to those who were special to her, and she enjoyed the excitement she could feel as she tore across the land with a passenger on her back. She had especially enjoyed it when her pups were all still small. She could give all of them a ride at the same time, even if it was getting hard because Aden was growing so fast. 

“I miss the kids,” Clarke said as she thought about Abby and Kane with her brother, Cal, watching her pack. Cal had been a surprise in her life. Not that he had been adopted, because Abby had told her about that, it was how, after knowing him for only a few months, he really did feel like a brother to her even if she was already mated and had a pup. That he wasn’t of her blood didn’t matter, and she took her role as big sister seriously.

“I do too,” Anya whispered. The tough alpha was the one who had probably changed the most over time. Gone was the stoic, hard-edged alpha that Clarke had met when she was young. Before her was a woman who had softened with time, not just her demeanor, but also her sculpted, muscled body. Anya bore the marks of having had five children and was now a little fluffy around the middle. Clarke was too and called it her mama tummy. Lexa and Raven were still slim and as toned as ever, but neither the omega nor Anya held it against them. Bearing pups for their mates had changed them, and it had calmed something in them. Clarke couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but she knew those changes had made her, and Anya too, better people.

Lexa and Raven had also changed over the years, but in different ways. Raven who had always been a goof was a fierce protector of her children, as was Lexa, but she was also a strict disciplinarian (except when she was running around with her minis causing trouble). Clarke also left the discipline to her alpha. She readily admitted that she was a pushover, and she blamed it on her fos because Anya was the biggest pushover of them all. The alpha spoiled her children rotten and gave them anything they wanted. She also trained most of them to be the best fighters they could be, but Clarke knew she went easy on them, and if she ever accidentally harmed one of them, she would patch them up then later find Clarke, wherever she was, so that she could cry on the omega’s shoulder about how she had hurt one of her pups, even if every time it was only a tiny scratch that she had caused. 

Raven and Lexa shared a look and admitted that they missed the pups too, but they vowed that the four of them were going to have fun while they were gone. It was the first trip the four of them had ever taken together, and it was the first time that Anya or Raven had ever left their pups since the day Andy had been born. 

Lexa and Clarke knew the yearning of wanting their pups near because they had left them before, several times, but this was new for Anya and Raven.

Clarke stood. “Speaking of the pups, I am going to use the radio to call Mom and make sure everything is okay. I’ll be right back.”

Three days later, Clarke was in the kitchen with her mate cooking up a storm.

“Why are we making so much food? This is too much for the four of us.” Lexa said. 

Clarke smiled. “I’m just in a cooking mood. Humor me.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes, not believing a single word. “You’re up to something.”

The omega wiped her hands on the apron she was wearing. She used her semi-clean hands to pull her wife in for a kiss. With her keen hearing, she could hear four rovers coming their way, and she started to purr.

“What are you up to?” Lexa asked.

“You will know in a minute.” Clarke busied herself and quickly cleaned up the kitchen and herself. By the time she was done, the rovers were pulling up.

Lexa tilted her head in confusion. “Who is that?”

“With the way we were talking and missing everyone, I might have suggested to Mom that she gather everyone up and bring them here.”

Clarke could feel Lexa’s excitement. “All of them?”

“Yes, all of them.”

Lexa went bounding outside. Anya and Raven had already beaten her to it, wanting to know who had arrived.

Their loved ones were pouring out of the vehicles, and Heda looked on in wonder at the family they had created. She wondered how it was that her overflowing heart didn’t crack out of her chest.

She looked on in awe as Abby and Kane got out of a rover with Cal, Aden, Myra, Jake, and Madi. Next to them, Anya was already being engulfed by Andy, the minis, and the frats (fraternal twins). 

Lexa got choked up and couldn’t hide the tears of joy that started to stream down her face at the appearance of her family, because even though they weren’t hers, Anya and Raven’s pups were family too.

Anya was the first to spot her tears and grinned at her from under her pile of pups. Clarke startled her when she put an arm around the alpha’s waist. “Can you believe they are all ours?” Lexa knew she meant everyone.

“I can’t. Ours is not a life I ever even dared to dream of.” She kissed Clarke’s temple just before they were rushed by their own pups.

“Nomons.” Myra and Jake were the first on them. Madi and Aden approached more slowly, letting their little brother and sister get their hugs in without interruption. Lexa held out an arm, welcoming in their oldest children.

Lexa lived for moments like this, only this one was even more special because she wasn’t expecting their entire family to arrive. 

After everyone was settled, Clarke and Lexa set up all the food outside. Lexa held her omega’s hand as they watched their family talk, eat, and laugh. 

The alpha felt an image from the past trying to break through, but she pushed it aside. She didn’t need images from her past anymore because what she was looking at now was a picture of her future.

Clarke nudged her hip. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?” 

“The only thing more beautiful is you, niron. I love you, Clarke.” 

Clarke looked at the happy family in front of them. Her two youngest were running around having fun, and everyone else was smiling and laughing at their antics. The minis were being surprisingly well-behaved as Raven doled out food to them, and Aden was being a gentleman and serving all the elders. Cleo looked up and smiled from the book she was reading.

“I love you too, and maybe tonight we can make one more pup.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought. If you have made it this far and never left a comment or kudos, I would love it if you did now, even if you simply give a thumbs up or down. 
> 
> If any of you are interested, I just posted the first chapter of my new story called Let's Go Burn Your House Down. I would love to hear what you think of it. If you want to keep track of what I am up to, you can scroll back to the top, click on minx4572 and subscribe to me.
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for reading this behemoth. It's been a wild ride but all of you kept me going. 💖🧡💛💚💙💜

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts on this.


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